Ways to handle Guilt Following a Miscarriage

 

The pain is real. | Abortion Grief S3E2 The Truth of It

Video taken from the channel: ACL – Australian Christian Lobby


 

I had an abortion, and the guilt and shame almost killed me

Video taken from the channel: Thir.st


 

How To Deal With Loneliness And Guilt (after a miscarriage) ⭐// Episode 2.

Video taken from the channel: Lenice Romney


Ways to Cope with Guilt After a Miscarriage Ways to Deal With Guilt After Miscarriage. Recognizing that you were most likely powerless to prevent your miscarriage Understand Guilt. In psychology, guilt is viewed as an emotion that stems from doing or believing we have done something Make a. After a Miscarriage, Grief, Anger, Envy, Relief and Guilt.

There’s no ‘normal’ way to feel after a pregnancy loss. By Jessica Grose. Oct. 2, 2019.

Image. Then I felt guilty about feeling. Short-term steps Allow yourself to express your emotions. Miscarriage is like losing a loved one, which comes with a roller coaster of Rely on friends and loved ones for help. As you grieve your miscarriage, you may not be able to stick with your normal Find a support group.

Miscarriage. What else can you do? Try drinking plenty of water and eating a balanced diet.

Experts recommend that women drink 10 cups of fluids and eat an While you’re at it, be sure to take a daily multivitamin with folic acid to help maintain your nutrient stores. Exercise moderately for at least 150. Sharing your feelings — through a support group, with a friend or online — with others who experienced a miscarriage can also be a comfort. Ask your practitioner to recommend a therapist or bereavement group to help you through this difficult period. You have the right to: Know the facts about what happened and potential implications for the future.

Seek answers to your questions, look at Make decisions about what you would like to do with your maternity clothes and baby items. Others might try to make Protect yourself by avoiding. Even though these feelings of guilt are likely misplaced, it’s important to let yourself grieve this loss. “Grief is a normal emotional feeling after having a miscarriage,” Dr.

Shepherd says. Dava naturally chose writing as an outlet and wrote the stories of all of them down after her third miscarriage. “Writing is a way for me to immortalize them, somehow,” she explained. That doesn’t mean that some women who work in the medical field won’t grieve a miscarriage the way we all would. But it’s a useful example of the many ways in which we all experience loss differently.

Not only does every individual cope with miscarriage differently, but we all experience different levels of miscarriage grief. This is okay. Feeling guilty is not bad, but prolonged, unresolved guilt becomes harmful to our healing.

The only way to address guilt is to first acknowledge that it is there. This can be a challenge because it doesn’t show itself as obviously as the others types of anger.

List of related literature:

If you feel guilty even thinking about getting your life back to normal because you sense it would be disloyal to the child you’ve lost, it may help to ask your baby, in spirit, for forgiveness or for permission to enjoy life again.

“What to Expect When You're Expecting 4th Edition” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
from What to Expect When You’re Expecting 4th Edition
by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
Simon & Schuster UK, 2010

It’s very normal to feel guilty, but having a miscarriage is not your fault.

“Expecting 411 (4th edition): The Insider's Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth” by Ari Brown, Michele Hakakha
from Expecting 411 (4th edition): The Insider’s Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth
by Ari Brown, Michele Hakakha
Windsor Peak Press, 2017

While you are entitled to your guilt, by working through it, you can live peacefully with yourself and honorably with your baby.

“Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby” by Deborah L. Davis
from Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
by Deborah L. Davis
Fulcrum Pub., 1996

• Allow yourself (and your partner) to grieve the loss before becoming pregnant again.

“Maternal Child Nursing Care E-Book” by Shannon E. Perry, Marilyn J. Hockenberry, Kathryn Rhodes Alden, Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Mary Catherine Cashion, David Wilson
from Maternal Child Nursing Care E-Book
by Shannon E. Perry, Marilyn J. Hockenberry, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2017

You may also feel guilty for not feeling happy about your baby’s birth or guilty about not being able to keep the pregnancy going longer (even if there was absolutely nothing you could have done to prevent your daughter’s prematurity).

“What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
from What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]
by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
Simon & Schuster UK, 2010

Know that it takes time to let go of the birth you envisioned and it’s perfectly normal to grieve for one thing as you celebrate another.

“Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide” by Janet Walley, Penny Simkin, Ann Keppler, Janelle Durham, April Bolding
from Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide
by Janet Walley, Penny Simkin, et. al.
Meadowbrook, 2016

How does the fact that your pregnancy was donorassisted impact your loss and help shape your grieving process?

“Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation: Second Edition” by Evelina Weidman Sterling, Ellen Sarasohn Glazer
from Having Your Baby Through Egg Donation: Second Edition
by Evelina Weidman Sterling, Ellen Sarasohn Glazer
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2013

Many women experience guilt after miscarriage, believing that the loss was something that they caused by some action

“Comprehensive Gynecology E-Book” by Rogerio A. Lobo, David M Gershenson, Gretchen M Lentz, Fidel A Valea
from Comprehensive Gynecology E-Book
by Rogerio A. Lobo, David M Gershenson, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2016

No matter how early you were in the pregnancy, grief is a normal, healthy part of the healing process.

“The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth” by Genevieve Howland
from The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth
by Genevieve Howland
Gallery Books, 2017

During this phase of intense grief, guilt may emerge from the deep feelings of helplessness in not somehow preventing the pregnancy loss or the death of the infant.

“Maternal Child Nursing Care in Canada E-Book” by Shannon E. Perry, Marilyn J. Hockenberry, Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Lisa Keenan-Lindsay, David Wilson, Cheryl A. Sams
from Maternal Child Nursing Care in Canada E-Book
by Shannon E. Perry, Marilyn J. Hockenberry, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2016

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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7 comments

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  • Don’t know what it’s like to miscarry but do get that it must be very traumatic on so many levels… Physically and emotionally…because the child has been growing inside you and that is a very personal experience….. Hope I haven’t upset you in any way… Love to you ��

    Thanks for these very helpful videos…. Such wisdom and truth…xx

  • I can’t tell you how much I needed this
    I have experienced a miscarriage and I had been becoming bitter and angry at God
    Your words were so encouraging

  • I’m so sorry baby I didn’t protect you how can I forget the day I committed murder ���� it is the most hard and painful decision I had to make. #IAMSORRY ���� HOPE I SEE YOU SOON I REALLY MISS YOU ������

  • Thank you for sharing…. honestly has touched my heart and brought me to tears.

    It’s been almost 7 years since my abortion and honestly it is only until recently I have accepted things for what they are. Everyday is a battle and a struggle but I know my baby is in a safe place.

    I was a young girl who was in a toxic relationship. My partner controlled everything, I did not have any family or friends support at the time. I was not allow to tell anyone. He told me to get rid of it, I do not know what happen something in me just died at the point. He never loved me, he never wanted my baby and never care. He booked everything and it was so rushed I didn’t even have a moment to think. Plus my emotions, hormones where everywhere and sofa surfing didn’t help.

    I saw my dead baby in a tray, that image will never leave my mind and memory. I always think about how my child is flushed away somewhere. I do not even have somewhere I can go to see my baby.

    My ex never cared, I was not allowed to cry about my lost. I had to pretend I was okay all the time. We did that for a whole year. We didn’t speak but he cheated repeatedly be-hide my back. I was so numb that I didn’t even notice until we broke up. Year 2 was even worst, I became a workaholic.
    I found a great job and just throw myself in to work, work so hard that I looked after the both of us so we weren’t homeless.

    Year 3 I went to get help and he left me by myself and ran off with one of the girls he cheated with. He just used me for my body and money. He did not care at all. He was a narcissistic person, it was always about how he felt. I was never allowed to express my feelings, if I did I was being dumb. In the end the relationship got more and more toxic.

    So as much as the abortion hurts and the thoughts I have nearly everyday of what my baby would look like and what personality he or she may have had. Nothing would have been worst than having him control my child too. So this why I say my child is in a safe place, my child would be proud of her or his mom today. I know I would have been a brilliant mom, if only I knew how strong I was back then. I just fell in love with a person who did not love me as much I as I loved him.

    I have the most loving family and loving friends. Hopefully one day I be a great mother to someone. Sometimes we can not help certain situations that happen, we can not change the past but we can live in the present and plan for a future.

    Forgiving ones self is the hardest and asking for help. So please learn to love yourself and not be so hard on yourself. ❤️

  • I was pressured to have an abortion by an ex that I’ve date and engaged of three years! It’s been a year since it happened and I will never forgive myself for doing such a thing… hate that I wasn’t brave enough to stand up for my baby #imsorry

  • I had my abortion on October 2018. I was with my now ex for 1 1/2. He never offered me a second Option I felt alone. I didn’t understood why he made me feel alone if he loved me. But I was scared. When the doctor gave me the pill to exterminate my baby, I wanted to run but I need it to do it. When I bleed it I felt the placenta coming out of me I knew it was my baby. I wanted to die, I cry uncontrollably when my bf threw it in the trash. For him it meant nothing he called it a cell. After that I was becoming depressed and my bf didn’t say anything he just told me to swallow my feelings. After that I acted normal around him and became more attached to him thinking one day I will have another baby exactly like the one I lost. But whenever I was away from him I felt the guilt. I cried every time I see a pregnant lady or a baby. During my depressed I neglected myself I stop being happy. On Nov 2019 after 2 1/2 years my bf brokup with me bc he found someone new and excited. And now I feel the pain I been holding for more than a year. I’m dealing with a breakup and the grief of my baby. I can’t forgive myself.

  • I don’t buy this for a second. I don’t believe people get visions from God. I’ve been asking for a long time for God to speak to me and he hasn’t. What makes some people more worthy of speaking to? God only speaks to certain people? I’m in a situation where I have to abort it would be insane to have this baby and it would hurt too much to give it up for adoption. Haven’t heard diddly from God. And I wish I could have this baby.