Strategies for Smashing the News of the Miscarriage or Stillbirth

 

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Enlist a Friend or Relative to Break the News. If you had a full-term stillbirth and have a lot of people waiting for news that they aren’t aware will be bad, see if you have a friend or relative who might be willing to make the calls for you. Having someone else spread the word could take the pressure off of you so that you can take your time dealing with the news yourself. Here are some things you need to know about miscarriage and stillbirth.

Tips for Coping With a First-Time Miscarriage or Stillbirth 1. You did nothing wrong. After suffering through a miscarriage or stillbirth, you might seek out reasons for why you lost your child. BREAKING NEWS.

Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. 9 Ways To Respond To The Grief Of Miscarriage Or Stillbirth. 05/10/2015 08:32 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017 Miscarriage statistics indicate around 15 percent or a little higher in confirmed pregnancies. That’s a lot. When I am diagnosing a miscarriage, I look the patient in the eye and say as gently as I can “I am so very sorry, but your baby does not have a heart beat.” I avoid the medical terms of fetus and embryo at this stage, because to this family this isn’t an “embryo,” this is their child.

image sources: hope and miscarriage. Breaking the silence: A link-up for babyloss moms to share our stories about miscarriage, stillbirth, or neo-natal death. If you’ve lost a child and have written about it, please link up your story below. If you’ve written multiple stories, feel free to link each of them individually. Using data from the National Survey of Family Growth, Gold and her team analyzed 7,643 women who reported 13,593 pregnancies to conduct the first national study to establish that parents have an increased risk of breaking up after a miscarriage or stillbirth.

Faith said that first and foremost, bereavement doulas are there to shatter the misconception that miscarriage and stillbirth are just something to get over. “Birth and bereavement doulas are. Generally, assuming mom is otherwise healthy, doctors will recommend waiting two to three menstrual cycles after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or full-term delivery, according to Babble, which quoted Ann Douglas and John R. Sussman, MD, authors of the book, Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss. From breaking news to debate and conversation, we bring you the news as it happens. oneroof.co.nz.

Little life, big loss: Miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal death in New Zealand. Miscarriage Risk Factors for Teens. Teenagers are at an even greater risk of miscarriage and complications from pregnancy than the average adult woman. With so many teens not knowing they’re pregnant until much later in pregnancy, or not seeking prenatal care in order to keep the pregnancy a secret, their risk factors become an even greater.

List of related literature:

Practice tip: Foetal abnormality or miscarriage Prior pregnancy loss, miscarriage, foetal demise, neonatal death or genetic or chromosomal abnormality in the current or a prior pregnancy often requires professional counselling with grief counsellors, support groups, therapists, and genetic counsellors.

“Health Assessment and Physical Examination” by Mary Ellen Zator Estes, Pauline Calleja, Karen Theobald, Theresa Harvey
from Health Assessment and Physical Examination
by Mary Ellen Zator Estes, Pauline Calleja, et. al.
Cengage Learning Australia, 2019

The grief that can come with a miscarriage is real, no matter how early in pregnancy you lost your baby.

“What to Expect When You're Expecting 4th Edition” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
from What to Expect When You’re Expecting 4th Edition
by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
Simon & Schuster UK, 2010

Allow yourself and your partner to mourn the loss of the baby, no matter how early in the pregnancy it occurs.

“Dad's Guide To Pregnancy For Dummies” by Mathew Miller, Sharon Perkins
from Dad’s Guide To Pregnancy For Dummies
by Mathew Miller, Sharon Perkins
Wiley, 2014

A visit to discuss all the results of the stillbirth evaluation and counseling regarding potential subsequent pregnancies is also recommended.

“Creasy and Resnik's Maternal-Fetal Medicine: Principles and Practice” by Robert Resnik, MD, Robert K. Creasy, MD, Jay D. Iams, MD, Charles J. Lockwood, MD, MHCM, Thomas Moore, MD, Michael F Greene, MD
from Creasy and Resnik’s Maternal-Fetal Medicine: Principles and Practice
by Robert Resnik, MD, Robert K. Creasy, MD, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2013

Talking with another woman who has herself experienced the loss of a pregnancy can be particularly helpful.

“Child Development From Infancy to Adolescence: An Active Learning Approach” by Laura E. Levine, Joyce Munsch
from Child Development From Infancy to Adolescence: An Active Learning Approach
by Laura E. Levine, Joyce Munsch
SAGE Publications, 2014

• Allow them time to grieve for the pregnancy loss.

“Maternity and Pediatric Nursing” by Susan Scott Ricci, Terri Kyle
from Maternity and Pediatric Nursing
by Susan Scott Ricci, Terri Kyle
Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2009

• Discuss with the family the importance of grieving the loss before becoming pregnant again.

“Manual of High Risk Pregnancy and Delivery E-Book” by Elizabeth S. Gilbert
from Manual of High Risk Pregnancy and Delivery E-Book
by Elizabeth S. Gilbert
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2010

Talking with others who have been through similar experiences, sharing memories of the pregnancy and the baby, and gaining an understanding of the normality of the grief process can be very helpful.

“Maternity and Women's Health Care E-Book” by Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Shannon E. Perry, Mary Catherine Cashion, Kathryn Rhodes Alden
from Maternity and Women’s Health Care E-Book
by Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Shannon E. Perry, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2014

Although it is not unusual for some couples to want to initiate a pregnancy immediately after experiencing a stillbirth, it is best to counsel them regarding acting with haste.

“Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, Fourth Edition: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner” by J. William Worden, PhD, ABPP
from Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy, Fourth Edition: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner
by J. William Worden, PhD, ABPP
Springer Publishing Company, 2008

A subsequent visit to discuss results of the stillbirth evaluation and counseling regarding potential subsequent pregnancies is also recommended.

“Creasy and Resnik's Maternal-Fetal Medicine: Principles and Practice E-Book” by Robert Resnik, Charles J. Lockwood, Thomas Moore, Michael F Greene, Joshua Copel, Robert M Silver
from Creasy and Resnik’s Maternal-Fetal Medicine: Principles and Practice E-Book
by Robert Resnik, Charles J. Lockwood, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2018

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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36 comments

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  • My heart goes out to you and your family. I pray that you will have more kids sometime soon. God gave you a great/ sad story. I love that you are so open about it. You have inspired me. You will see your kids again someday in heaven. I’m praying for you and your family. God has a plan for the rest of our lives and yours as well. Thanks for sharing with us.

  • I gave birth 2 weeks ago to my little one and I thought I would share my experience to those mommas who are expecting. I live in southern California and was advised by my hospital to call ahead before going in. I was taken in to a triage room on my own and was only allowed to call my partner inside after being assigned a birthing room. I was allowed to keep my partner for the entirety of the delivery up until the day I was cleared to go home (I had vaginal delivery). As far as I’m aware at least in Cali, momma’s are allowed to take in one support person with them for birth, but be prepared for the both of you to stay in your room until you’re discharged. Food was provided for the both of us and every hospital staff that came into the room had the proper PPE every time. I was also afraid of birthing alone, but that was not the case and I haven’t heard of that happening elsewhere. It’s a scary time to be pregnant, but my hospital made sure to take in all precautions to keep us all safe during birthing. You’ll make it through this!:)

  • You glossed over a really important point at 3:55 this was a study of people who had Corona virus WHO ALSO HAD PNEUMONIA which I believe is basically the worst 15% of Covid cases. A full 85%(est) of Covid19 patients do not develop pneumonia. So this brings two important questions. How do these results compare to people who have mild cases of Covid19, and as a control group, how do these results compare to pregnancies that occur in women who developed non-covid pneumonia. My guess is that pneumonia, on its’ own, would greatly increase some of these outcomes without the covid.

    As far as statistics, with that small of an n, you would need to have really large numerators for it to even be looked at. 1/12, 1/8 is just bad science to make any judgments…. even that 5/31 would be questionable.

  • Oh yes it hurts especially when we are trying to have a child for the first time, and miscarriages get in between it is very sad, I think about it every day.. I had my second miscarriages on my job in bathroom in Manhattan where I usually worked….yes…my best friend was the one I cream for at the time while sitting on the toilet and heard when it came out.. I scream I said oh my God, and a friend that was in the bathroom went and call my best friend from her office department, we work in the same department at the time..

  • Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your losses. I also experienced 2 infant losses recently. We got pregnant with twins through IVF. At 21 weeks we lost our first daughter due to pProm—she was stillborn. Almost 3 weeks later at 23+5, I delivered our second daughter and she lived 98 days in the NICU. She overcame all obstacles she faced linked to her prematurity. She was doing so well and we were going to bring her home soonish. Until one day she got very sick. She had a volvulus and had emergency surgery. It went well, so they thought, until her heart rate wasn’t beating fast enough during recovery. She became acidotic and bled out. I held her in my arms as she passed away. Our hearts were shattered into a million pieces all over again. The pain is unexplainable. We miss our girls everyday.

  • I just went through an early miscarriage last month and this video helped me to further deepen my gratitude for the healthy daughter we already have, for the blessing of an early miscarriage, for the fact it only happened once so far, for the baby never having had a heartbeat, for the community that exists through social media, for the therapy i am already receiving and for all the other blessings i am lucky enough to experience. Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring mothers and fathers how to move on with unimaginable pain. You are an incredible person, all the love ��❤️

  • I had 2 miscarriages last year. I often wonder how I get through it. The only thing that keeps me going is by trying to be happy for those who are close to me. Sometimes it’s hard not to be jealous. But it is not their fault that I’m having these problems. I know I will have my day soon. I’m about to start my surrogacy journey! So I’m not giving up.

  • this might just be a weird observance i just noticed or the easter egg. Is your tag it? I don’t remeber it being in any other videos. It also could be the sloth though so i have no idea.

  • I’m so happy I watched this! My daughter in law has been concerned about her pregnancy. You gave the available information in a clear, understandable, organized way. Very reassuring!

  • I just found your channel and I’m so happy to have some new and GREAT content to binge through this stay at home process. Being pregnant and being home/off work for like 5 weeks has really been hard. THANK YOU for actually giving the info and explaining it in a way that’s digestible and not scary. I’d much rather have the “I don’t know” answers than misinformation. Due in September and hoping this all relatively blows over by then!

  • My aunt had a baby the day after Easter after three days of labor. She has a ton of medical issues and is tiny so my family was already very worried about the outcome. Adding Covid 19 while she lives in a heavily effected area made us even more scared. My aunt was able to have a vaginal birth to a healthy baby boy. Little chungus was 9lbs 10oz and a month later mom and baby are both healthy and happy. This is a scary time but everything will be okay and my smiley, active, baby nephew Kyler is proof

  • I get my info about Covid-19 from CDC and Dr. Seheult on the MedCram YouTube channel. He is an intensivist and the updates are heavy on biochemistry, medication discussions, and relevant journal article review. I’m adding you, MDJ, because medcram doesn’t talk about OB and Covid-19 risk.

    Update 62 on medcram today discussed possible reasons for hypoxemia when a patient’s pneumonia isn’t severe enough to cause it. Though SARS-CoV-2 is acquired via eyes, nose, and mouth, and attacks the lungs, it also infects the entire body’s endothelial cells causing other problems such as blood clots and reduced oxygen exchange in the alveoli. The biochemistry of ACE2 and angiotensin 2 could cause issues that effect pregnancy and could increase the risks you discussed in this video. It’s early in this disease, so we don’t know exactly what risks are increased by what percentages Correlation is not necessarily causation, either. We need more data!

  • Any new information on this topic? It has been a few months and I have found out I myself is pregnant. So now I have been trying to follow this information.

  • Thank you for giving such factual information!! Also, can you please react to Raising the Barr’s labor and delivery story? She’s a smaller YouTuber and it’s an old video, but it’s intense and I’d really like to see you react to it ��

  • This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. Having a miscarriage after 7 yrs of infertility is devastating. I will seek therapy as I’m still mourning my loss.

  • I’m 35 weeks and I just found out that my baby will die pretty much at birth, due to a more severe form of Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. I’m finding it’s getting harder day by day. I thought I would be resilient, and I have been, but every day gets harder as things are “normalised” and I have to keep on going at work. I have no idea how you coped with this twice! You are amazing xx

  • After my fist son, I get pregnant 13 years after had last son who is now 15 years old. I Thank God, because. I Give birth to my last son with one ovary, one tube, half of UTERUS….a miracle baby boy. I have two sons only.. thank GOD ABOVE for such MIRACLES. For my two prince.

  • Dr. Richard Bartlett, a Texas doctor, reverses Coronavirus Symptoms In 100% of Cases with inexpensive treatment: Budesonide Inhaled With Nebulizer. He says budesonide has been used safely for over 20 years to prevent asthma attacks even for preemie babies and the elderly. He explains that France is now studying a similar approach. Spain and England have announced that they will also test this approach.

    Dr. Bartlett questions why the World Health Organization followed Communist China’s example which led to such disastrous results in the US and Italy. Instead, they could have followed the more effective and less expensive example of Japan, Taiwan, and Singapore which does not require a lockdown, masks, social distancing, contact tracing, or a vaccine.

    Dr. Bartlett explained that NIH is currently testing this approach and their results will be available in October. However, he believes that NIH is conducting the study in a way that is designed to fail. When Debbie pointed out that Americans are being told to wait for a vaccine, Dr. Bartlett said he believes that people’s lives are being sacrificed for an agenda because an effective vaccine is not possible or needed.

    Dr. Bartlett said, “When you have the government is telling you it knows more about what’s good for your health than your doctor, that’s socialism, that’s communism”. He says we should go with a winning strategy rather than masks and social distancing.
    Dr. Bartlett’s main message is “Don’t be afraid of COVID-19! There’s a quick inexpensive treatment!”

    Dr. Richard Bartlett does have a channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHBiz5wMLRiQwBoMdzYbLVw
    Dr. Richard Bartlett does have a website with his full protocol: http://covidsilverbullet.com/

  • I’m at 30 weeks now, and definitely concerned about everything, but mainly because there is just not enough data to know what to think. I’m just trying to take it a day at a time, and hope for the best outcome. Praying for my baby and everyone else out there who are sick or scared at this time.

  • I’m 14 weeks pregnant and just received a positive test result ��…so far I feel like I have allergies or a head cold and a dry cough…

  • Could this woman be any more confusing & waffling in her delivery. How about just stating simple facts and getting straight to the point with how Covid 19 affects pregnancies? That’s what people really want to know, & what is useful for them to know at this time!

  • I’m 11 weeks and being pregnant during COVID is hard enough and working on a hospital is even harder is difficult not to be come fearful when I’m watching all the sick people. Thank you for the amazing videos is great help for me

  • Women may be more directly affected by a miscarriage having carried the child, but having lost a child due to miscarriage myself, I believe it a bit extreme to say that miscarriage is unique to women. Parents have children together, and though every pregnancy does not involve a father directly, the ones that do have just as devastating an affect on the father. I experienced loss, I grieved, and I moved on. It takes two to make a child, and it affects two to lose a child.

  • Thank you for sharing your story. Right now I feel like I am drowning in grief. My son would have turned 4 months yesterday. He passed away at 3 weeks due to late onset gbs. He was perfectly healthy. Everything happened so fast and my life has been changed forever ������

  • I wish they included more folks in the studies before they published it. I know there are a lot more patients with Corona virus from all those three illness in different countries.

  • ya know what, i might be a 20 year old male (not pregnant fyi) but this is IMPORTANT im glad your educating people in these hard times so that people can feel safer

  • I’m 32 weeks pregnant with covid 19 I have shortness of breath and a strong cough thank god I have not had fever ob told me to keep a healthy diet and if anything go to the er but my baby girl moves so much so I know she’s okay I’m just praying that my next test it’s a negative before I give birth

  • Something else that concerns me about how data like this is presented is that these numbers are only taking into account cases where woman were hospitalized for pneumonia during pregnancy and that pneumonia was determined to be caused by a SARS-COV-2 infection. That doesn’t take into account women who were hospitalized for pneumonia for other reasons and what their outcomes were, as another commenter posted. But additionally, there are likely many many women who successfully continue to be pregnant or have given birth in the last two months who are or have been infected by the virus during this time and either haven’t experienced any symptoms at all, experienced only mild symptoms and never attributed it to COVID-19, experienced more severe symptoms but were never hospitalized or even experienced severe enough symptoms to be hospitalized but were never tested for the virus (which we know is a huge ongoing issue). I’m just not comfortable putting any confidence in research that makes conclusions about an entire population, when they have only been able to study a tiny and very negatively biased percentage of them. I don’t think any real statistics can be determined about the studied effects until the sampling includes all the representative populations of pregnant women in more accurate proportions.

  • I’m curious. We’re any asymptomatic pregnant women included in this study, or were only seriously ill women included? I would like to see if a woman who has covid but is asymptomatic would have the same risks.

  • I want to use this means to let the world know that all hope is not lost Getting pregnant after having tubes clamped and burned, I know IVF and Reversal could help but it way too cost, i couldn’t afford it either and i so desire to add another baby to my family been trying for 5 years, not until i came across Priest Babaka, who cast a pregnancy/Fertility spell for me and i got pregnant.l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in GETTING PREGNANT, will find your contact as i drop it here on this site, and solution will come to them as they contact you. Thank you and God bless you to reach him email via: [email protected] gmail.com or Facebook at priest.babaka

  • Hi doctor mama jones! I was wondering if you would react to this video? It’s a vaginal delivery of twins! Here’s the link. https://youtu.be/v7izSkC9DvI ❤️❤️

  • I hope you continue to do update videos on these risks over the next few months. We’ve been planning to start trying for baby #2 in August and at this point with the available information we are still thinking thats what we’ll do but I want to stay up to date with any new information regarding this area.

  • Can you do a video (or have a section of a video) about mother’s having to do their obgyn appointments alone and possible solo delivery? I don’t understand why they are forcing healthy fathers out of these experiences and my heart is broken. I’m so angry. It’s not fair, my baby is just as much my husbands baby as mine.

  • In many countries there are recommendations to deliver baby by cesarean if mother is covid positive. Assumption is that cesarean decreases risk of transmission to the baby. In Poland often they take away baby until mom’s results come back negative, horrible idea

  • I don’t know if you’ve done this or not but can you do a full video explaining the different types of IUD’s and their benefits and drawbacks? I’m contemplating getting one but because of covid right now I can’t ask my OB! Thank you so much!

  • Thank you for sharing your story. You are truly a strong woman. I’m here if you ever need to talk. If you don’t mind I’d like to share my story.
    My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 14weeks. My second pregnancy I gave birth at 35 weeks to a beautiful baby boy whom spent just over a week of his very short life in the NICU where according to the autopsy is believed that he caught the deadly disease (whooping cough) that ultimately we lost him to at 25 days old. We didn’t know that, that was what was causing his health issues until it was too late.
    Each person has their own way of dealing with loss. At my “breaking point.” Where I was seriously considering suicide because I felt that I had absolutely no reason to be here anymore and that I would never feel any better, a person in my non-religious loss group said to me “You know how you feel right now? Do you want your parents to feel that if you decide to take your life?” It was so blunt, but it made me really think about what I was considering and I knew in my heart that I would never wish this hole in anyone’s heart, not even a worst enemy. So that was the day I turned everything around. Yes, I still have my hard days, but had I decided that day to go through with taking my own life I wouldn’t have the amazing little boy that I have today. Each day that passes it’s easier to deal with the holes that are forever in my heart.
    R.I.P. Alex 01/15/10
    R.I.P. Liam Anthony 04/18/15 05/13/15