Why Some Parents Spank Their Children

 

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Kid Flips Off His Mom And Then Gets Spanked! ( Kid vs Mom )

Video taken from the channel: Oh Shiitake Mushrooms


 

Parents RULED By Kids | Supernanny

Video taken from the channel: Supernanny


 

The Board of Education Official Trailer #1 (2012) HD Movie

Video taken from the channel: Movieclips Coming Soon


 

Is It Wrong for Parents to Spank Their Children?

Video taken from the channel: Real Truth. Real Quick.


 

Horrible Ways Parents Used To Punish Kids

Video taken from the channel: The Infographics Show


 

Free Range vs Strict Parents: Is Spanking Your Kids Ever Okay? | Middle Ground

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Parents who spank their children tend to see it as an important, effective, and useful tool in teaching kids how to behave. For many parents, corporal punishment is viewed as a personal decision with merits. “When parents use physical discipline with their children, they are modeling the use of aggression as a means of controlling the behavior of others,” says Jane Powers, a Cornell researcher. Distress, if excessive, leads to anger. Other negative emotions such as fear and shame can lead to distress and then anger.

Mix in action and impulsivity and it’s easy to see why some parents end. Spanking, in my humble opinion, is a tool available to parents for quick and necessary corrective action when a child is younger and unable to reason. Reasons Parents Spank Sometimes, parents spank their children out of desperation. When kids frequently misbehave, parents may feel as though they are at the end of their rope and aren’t sure what else to do.

Parents in these situations might say, “Nothing else seems to work.”. When I was a child my parents spanked me. I was not spanked often but this form of discipline was reserved for those behaviors which were either unsafe or were deliberately breaking a rule of our household.

Spanking was never a form of discipline that was unprovoked. Spanking only occurred because I did something that I was not supposed to. Parents DO NOT spank children’s/teen’s bare bottoms they never have. I have no idea where you’re getting that idea. A parent spanks his kid on the kid’s butt or legs (through the clothes), using the open palm of the hand.

No part of the child’s body is uncovered when he’s getting a spanking. Spanking has become a highly debated form of discipline in recent times, with some arguing swats on the bottom are crimes. A generation ago, most kids felt the sting of a belt. Now, it’s time out.

Perhaps the biggest argument for spanking is the reminder that all kids are different. Children respond differently to forms of punishment, even kids who grew up in the same home. My brother and I. While only 4 percent of parents reported spanking often, as many as one in 6 resorted to it at least some of the time.

Researchers found that there was somewhat of a racial divide, with 32 percent of black parents, 19 percent of hispanic parents, and 13 percent of white parents raising their hands.

List of related literature:

Many parents who spank say they do so because it makes their children obey.

“Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child” by John Mordechai Gottman, John Gottman, Joan Declaire, Daniel Goleman
from Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child
by John Mordechai Gottman, John Gottman, et. al.
Simon & Schuster, 1998

Because parents may be out of control themselves when they spank their children, they model exactly the opposite of what they want their children to learn.

“Child Development” by Laura E. Levine, Joyce Munsch
from Child Development
by Laura E. Levine, Joyce Munsch
SAGE Publications, 2013

Usually, parents spank because they are angry (and somewhat out of control) and they can’t think of other ways to discipline.

“21st Century Criminology: A Reference Handbook” by J. Mitchell Miller
from 21st Century Criminology: A Reference Handbook
by J. Mitchell Miller
SAGE Publications, 2009

In some families this cultural license to spank escalates to the equivalent of beatings, and also makes frequent slapping and spanking a potential problem when the parents are under stress.

“Encyclopedia of Violence, Peace, and Conflict” by Lester R. Kurtz
from Encyclopedia of Violence, Peace, and Conflict
by Lester R. Kurtz
Elsevier Science, 2008

To put it bluntly, parents are allowed to spank their children’s bottom with their hands.

“Erotic Innocence: The Culture of Child Molesting” by James Russell Kincaid
from Erotic Innocence: The Culture of Child Molesting
by James Russell Kincaid
Duke University Press, 1998

Spankings tend to get harder and more frequent because of parents feeling a loss of control.

“Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery” by Judy L Arnall
from Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery
by Judy L Arnall
Professional Parenting Canada, 2012

When pressed, parents will admit that they slap or spank a child hard enough to get the child to stop doing something the parent does not want done.

“Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family” by Murray Murray Arnold Straus, Richard J. Gelles, Suzanne K. Steinmetz
from Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family
by Murray Murray Arnold Straus, Richard J. Gelles, Suzanne K. Steinmetz
Transaction Publishers, 1982

Parents may also view spanking as an adaptive response to risky environments.

“The Routledge Handbook of Family Communication” by Anita L. Vangelisti
from The Routledge Handbook of Family Communication
by Anita L. Vangelisti
Taylor & Francis, 2012

Many parents are realizing the detriments of spanking, but lack another effective discipline response.

“UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World” by Michele Borba
from UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World
by Michele Borba
Touchstone, 2017

The truth is that some parents who do not spank also do not attempt to correct misbehavior.

“Beating the Devil Out of them” by Murray Arnold Straus
from Beating the Devil Out of them
by Murray Arnold Straus
Lexington Books, 1994

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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34 comments

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  • I think privacy is pretty important. Of course if you believe your child is doing something seriously wrong that could put them or someone else in danger you obviously have a right to limit it. However, I don’t think it’s productive to go through things like texts or photos without serious need because that’s uncomfortable. It breeds distrust. Even if a child has nothing to hide, the feeling of all your conversations or personal thoughts being on display isn’t a good one.

  • My grandpa told me a story about his shop class in high school where his teacher threw a steel square at a sleeping kids head, he was fired for something else later

  • I don’t think that There needs to be a debate whether or not free range parenting is better or strict parenting is better. I think that people need to be Good parents.

  • So yesterday my dad held my head and punched it over and over and even used a wooden chair twice. Just because I came back home at 6: 30 pm, and he ALLOWED ME to go to! I literally just asked him at 6 PM if I can go to the market, he said ok. My head still hurts

  • how other mums punish kids:*grabs a sandal, over knee, take off undear wear and spanky spank spank*
    my mum:no cookies for you today.

    ;-;

  • It’s all about balancing when it comes to parenting…you want to raise a child that will be kind,and considerate when it comes to humanity…At the same time a child should grow up to be independent,disciplined,respectful because at the end of the day there is always authority to follow…a few spanks here and there sprinkled with love♥️♥️

  • I’m realizing in this video, I must have had strict parents. Listening to these free range parents make me actually super thankful for that. Also, I can’t help but feel like the free range parents were so judgmental this entire video. what the heck. I thought I was going to be on their side.

  • I dont this my anger could handle kids, if my child is crying so no reason and is just being a big baby I would literally scream in its face wtf r you crying about.

  • They have to go to the nurse office.
    The mean teacher always hurt them feelings. The poor baby kids needs to go home and lie down and drink the milk!

  • Hell yeah whip that ass so they’ll fall in line. If you don’t the state might have to break em off some jailtime cause you were just to damn passive.

  • PUNISHMENT FOR KIDS-This is Discovered by King Alphonsus in 800 BC.
    From ages Below 12, The Cultural Festival didn’t join, or else, give a punishment for kids.

  • I grew up getting spanked and my brother did not. I act way better than he does. Everytime I got spanked it was out of love. I think it works

  • Nanny Jo says that she thinks that spanking is not effective. What I will say is, we got spankings when we were children and we were extremely naughty. My mother would warn us three times and then we got a couple of whacks with the belt. On the butt. I did not die, I was not traumatized or anything and, it DID work. We behaved. So I disagree with her on that one.

  • I’m fine with parents spanking kids but I have a huge problem with teachers, stranger, random adults spanking and parenting your child is just weird and wrong in so many ways it’s not a random adults choice it’s the parents

  • I’m not a parent yet but this is what I’m going to go by when I am one. “I’m not here to make your choices, I’m here to tell you the choices I made and how they turned out. But there are consequences to the choices you make. If you bully someone you’re going to catch a belt. If you lie you’re going to catch a belt. If you stay up way past your bedtime your consequences will find you on their own.” Do I want my kids to think of me as their friend? No, because my friends can tell me to do something or not do something and I will straight up ignore them. I do however want my kids to feel free to come to me when they’ve done something not so good. My policy is: The first time you screw up if it’s serious I’m going to talk to you and explain why you probably shouldn’t do that again. If you do it again then it’s time for punishment. Teach it first, then enforce it. As for freedoms; The older they get, the more privacy I’ll entrust them with. They won’t walk anywhere by themselves until they show enough caution and responsibility. Hopefully this along with the values I’ll try to instill in them will make them good human beings.

  • I just have just a few to say. About being a parent of 3 sons. If a child has no dissaplen for bad behavior then they will grow up to belive that they can do anything they want to with no punishment for doing wrong. That’s what’s wrong today. My father would beat me so hard that I couldn’t walk sometimes. My step mother would not even tell him because she knew what he would do. I’m 62 years old now and I never had to do that to my children but I did have their respect. I’ve even had them thank me for what I taught them and I didn’t even get to spend a lot of time with them because I worked all the time. When I would get in trouble at school not only did I get spanked at school but when my father would got home he would beat the hell out of me for getting in trouble at school, the Principle at school would give you 3 licks with a paddle we use to make in wood shop. When we made them we didn’t know that they would be used on us. He would make you bend over and put your hands on his desk and he would give you 3 licks. He would hit me so hard my feet would come off the floor. The paddle was made out wood and was about 1 inch thick, 4 inches wide and 3 foot long with big holes drilled in it. You would almost fall to your knees sometimes. Then when I got home if my step mother told my dad he would beat me until I couldn’t walk and not stop. Then he would make me go to school the next day so everyone could see. But I loved my father and I miss him, he passed away about 4 years ago. He changed a lot after my half sister was born and he never spanked her. My point is you don’t have to beat a child but you have to have disaplan them sometimes. I had some friends that would actually hit and talk very bad to their parents because they wanted to show off in front of others. That’s what happens when you have no discipline.

  • I have hella strict parents that spanked and it’s not beneficial cause now I don’t think I can go to them for anything and they barely know me

  • I’m stunned to see all the comments here. I for sure thought it would have been filled with all these perverted 50-60 year old troglodytes who would talk routinely about how things “were better off” when kids were paddled in school. i’m a little bit encouraged to see people trashing school paddlings. School is bullshit anyways btw. If you’re a kid who is getting paddled and you’re reading this, just remember once you get out of school you will be able to make a solid living for yourself

  • “There’s no privacy because you don’t pay bills.” WHAT, lady??? Her poor daughter. First of all, she didn’t ask to be born. Second of all, she’s only 7 (at the time of filming), so how would she pay bills anyway? And lastly, her contribution to the household doesn’t dictate how deserving she is of privacy. Everyone needs some privacy in their lives, child or adult. There’s no reason to be so authoritarian in that way, when I’m sure that when you were her age, you didn’t want everyone to have free access to all of your business. Eventually her daughter is going to want the privacy boundary really set, and shouldn’t have to pay bills to get that respected.

  • She settled down way too early. She was supposed to save her twenties for herself. I’m not judging her; I just feel sorry for her.

  • Ive been(and still am) spanked by my mom and its been the cause of my multiple mental issues that i have. Not to mention the other trauma that i went though that i never told he because i didnt want to get introuble despite it not being my fault. I dont respect my mom nor like that she spanked me. I was told by people who were spanked by their parents that its to the point where I’m being physically, emotionally, and mentally abused. And while it hasnt happened recently that doesnt mean what she does goes away or never happened. Granted my brother went through worse but crazy how we’re both suicidal and have depression. It doesnt teach kids anything, it makes them live in fear. Granted i gained acouple skills like sneaking around, lying, my scalp hardly feels pain, acting, singing quietly, learning that i cant rely on people for comfort all the time and im not sure if that’s a good skill to have. I look up appartments, colleges, and videos on people in college being happt because thats what I want. It doesnt matter if my mom decides to be kind and randomly had a change of heart i could never trust her. Its to the point where if i tell her something important she’ll tell all her friends my business. She doesnt know me and id like it to stay that way. And its crazy because despite whats shes done to me i still love her because shes my mom. Shes kicked, slapped, threated, made fun of me, dragged me by my hair, taking things like a sketchbook away from me and causing anxiety attacks i still love her. And only because shes my mom. We have done amazing things together and i wont say i havent had good times with her but at the end of the day the bad outways the good. So no, spanking your kid isnt ok and should never be acceptable. And ik i got alot off topic but i just wanted to vent real quick. Dont worry about me cause im moving out next year, I’ll be fine. And yes i have a dad he isnt bad hes just narrowminded and it pisses me off so i dont bother alot of the time.

  • I really wanna see this but a version with teenagers and like to see how every teen reacts to their strict or free range parents from mature and not mature teens that would be great to see and feel what they think and feel because the impact on each teen is different some learn and some don’t

  • Good point about the foster kids. If a foster or adopted child came from an abuse environment it might be better to avoid physical punishment.

  • Not it’s not wrong. Even Mary, the mother of Jesus did it to Jesus, when he was a child. If you think I’m making it up, read the Bible.

  • Hal “I’m gonna train my child” that is one of the worst words you can use. You don’t train your child like Judy said like a dog, you guide your child but with certain boundaries. You don’t want to be extremely free range or extremely strict.

  • Personally, I really do not believe spanking is an effective form of discipline. Especially when you send mixed messages to the children. I feel like it just makes the kids more aggressive.

  • It is very hard to watch the mom, what is going on here? This is very very abusive, they should call the cops and the mom needs extended therapy

  • My father used to beat my siblings and I when we did bad things. The beatings were really borderline torture, to the point that I wondered if he hated us. I don’t know if I loved my father or if it was just the fear. My father never talked to us about what we did wrong to try to make us understand when something was wrong, he would just resort to physical discipline. My father is still alive, needless to say I don’t have a great relationship with him.

  • I think I should be there as a responsible teenager with strict parents to understand the side of what mistakes teenagers can make and why they are secretive.

  • I have strict parents. In my childhood, my mom never let me make any decisions for myself. Not even which toy should I buy. If i ever said i want think toy, like a simple doll. She will say, no. That’s useless. She will tell me that how can I choose something thing that so useless and then buy me something like a puzzle or so. And now, I am 22 ans still struggling to decide which hair color will look good on me. Which dress looks better. Which picture of mine is good. I just cant decide anything now.

  • Are they sure that the wooden spoons were all broken on the kitchen side or something? She seemed unsure as to how they got broken.

  • Making a child go into a time out, or something like that makes them ashamed, and makes them think about what they have done. It makes them cry, because they are disappointed in themselves. Spanking a child makes them scared. They don’t care that they did something wrong. They care that they are getting hurt. When a kid is spanked they cry because they are hurt, and sad that their parents are hitting them.