Why Some Gifted Youngsters Are Bossy


Understanding and Supporting the Emotional Aspects of Giftedness (2/8/2012)

Video taken from the channel: UCI Division of Continuing Education


How to Train BOSSY Children into GREAT Leaders

Video taken from the channel: Jessica Wilden


35. Characteristics of Gifted Children & Difference between High Achievers and Gifted Children.

Video taken from the channel: Education Classes


FCV086 Guiding Gifted Kids — Guest: James T. Webb, Ph.D., ABPP-Cl

Video taken from the channel: Annie Fox, Author


Acting-Out Behaviors of Gifted Kids in Class: Behavior Management

Video taken from the channel: eHow


Are Gifted Children Born or Made?

Video taken from the channel: VOA News


The Misdiagnosis of Gifted Children

Video taken from the channel: SENG Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted

Since the other children have not generally agreed to follow the rules of any one child, that child will be seen as bossy. However, when gifted children play together, this is not usually a problem since all the gifted children will attempt to make up complex rules. Bossy behaviors appear as children begin to explore power in a social context with peers and within the parent-child relationship. These behaviors originate from the desire to organize and direct the behavior of others. Bossiness may be rooted in the following motivations: A child has a great idea in mind and she needs others to bring it to life. (“Put the castle over here.

That doesn’t stop some people from claiming that such a child has oppositional defiant disorder (ODD). Or a gifted child’s perfectionism might cause her to want everything in perfect order: everything organized by shape or color or size. That behavior may lead some people to believe that child has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Bossiness in gifted children usually comes from some internal need or trait, such as the need to organize or the love of complex rules.

A gifted child might also get impatient with the inability of the other children to keep up or to pay attention. Many gifted children also have a strong sense of right and wrong and believe that being treated as less than an adult is grossly unfair. Their frustration can lead to a number of behavior problems. They can get angry or rude, and even become bossy and demanding.

Why Gifted Children May Have Behavior Problems. I f your child is constantly bossing you and his siblings around, if he resists all your requests, if he doesn’t seem to have the ability to follow, it is because he is begging for you to let him lead.. When we call our children bossy, we do what we do each time we use an adjective to describe a human being: we diminish the entire experience of life into a single word that. One big reason why children are bossy is that they are simply mimicking behavior they see every day. Not to say that you rule your home with an iron fist barking out orders at every turn, but your preschooler knows that you tell people what to do (specifically him and his siblings) and wants in on the action.

All children need some control over their lives. Often, a child who is bossy to other children and even adults is in need of extra control over her life. Because she is unable to control certain life events she is reaching to regain control of other areas and people in her life.

The thing is, in my years of working with children and parents, I see the same mistakes made over and over again that actually lead to the problem getting worse, not better. Some of the mistakes I see parents making have to do with completely misunderstanding the nature of bossiness in kids and why they act that way. Yes, gifted children feel guilty about being gifted.

They recognize their own talents and may feel a yearning to give it back or share it with others in some manner. This might manifest in good social behavior where they help out others and contribute to causes, but when powered by guilt, they might go the extra mile and lead to being taken advantage of as well.

List of related literature:

Gifted children usually grow up in child-centred families where parents model hard work and high achievement, provide an intellectually and artistically stimulating environment, offer their children a high level of autonomy, but expect a high level of excellence from them.

“Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness and Human Strengths” by Alan Carr
from Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness and Human Strengths
by Alan Carr
Brunner-Routledge, 2004

Gifted children are sometimes singled out and provided extra attention by adults because of their strengths or talents, and this can lead to strained peer and sibling relationships.

“Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia” by Lawrence Balter, Robert B. McCall
from Parenthood in America: An Encyclopedia
by Lawrence Balter, Robert B. McCall
ABC-CLIO, 2000

If, however, their giftedness is understood because they produce an identifiable product, such as learning how to read at an early age or achieving outstanding success in math, a different type of stress may occur— pressure from one’s parent’s or teachers to perform.

“Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults” by Susan Daniels, Michael Marian Piechowski
from Living with Intensity: Understanding the Sensitivity, Excitability, and Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults
by Susan Daniels, Michael Marian Piechowski
Great Potential Press, 2009

Gifted children are usually high achievers.

“21st Century Psychology: A Reference Handbook” by Stephen F. Davis, William Buskist, Erin Brooke Rasmussen, Steven Randall Lawyer
from 21st Century Psychology: A Reference Handbook
by Stephen F. Davis, William Buskist, et. al.
SAGE Publications, 2008

Gifted children are often precocious—they begin to master a subject area earlier than their peers, and their learning in that area is more effortless.

“Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really LearnAnd Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less” by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Diane Eyer
from Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children Really LearnAnd Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less
by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Diane Eyer
Rodale Books, 2003

By the nature of their giftedness, the range of tasks that are perceived as effortless is broader for gifted children.

“International Handbook of Giftedness and Talent” by K. A. Heller, F. J. Mönks, R. Subotnik, Robert J. Sternberg
from International Handbook of Giftedness and Talent
by K. A. Heller, F. J. Mönks, et. al.
Elsevier Science, 2000

The more gifted and exceptional among children are always more restrained, and if they are spirited, then they are always disposed toward leading the others and taking charge.

“Writer's Diary Volume 1: 1873-1876” by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Kenneth Lantz, Gary Saul Morson
from Writer’s Diary Volume 1: 1873-1876
by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Kenneth Lantz, Gary Saul Morson
Northwestern University Press, 1997

Giftedness may appear to some to be a “high-class problem”—a problem that any parent would be pleased to have—but parents of gifted children know that it is also exhausting, sometimes frightening, and always challenging.

“Some of My Best Friends are Books: Guiding Gifted Readers from Preschool to High School” by Judith Wynn Halsted
from Some of My Best Friends are Books: Guiding Gifted Readers from Preschool to High School
by Judith Wynn Halsted
Great Potential Press, 2009

Gifted children are often faced with a separate set of problems as well.

“Encyclopedia of Educational Leadership and Administration” by Fenwick W. English
from Encyclopedia of Educational Leadership and Administration
by Fenwick W. English
SAGE Publications, 2006

Gifted children are commonly pictured as academically successful, well behaved in class, a bit nerdy or bookish, well organized and easy to teach, natural learners who will succeed regardless of the level of instruction.

“Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism” by Diane M. Kennedy, Rebecca S. Banks, Temple Grandin
from Bright Not Broken: Gifted Kids, ADHD, and Autism
by Diane M. Kennedy, Rebecca S. Banks, Temple Grandin
Wiley, 2011

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  • @iBradyniollie Gifted kids are not gifted because they practice.

    I never practice, I rarely spend longer than half an hour on my homework, and I’ve only recently started studying due to be being in a college level math class. The lowest grade I’d ever gotten before that was a 79, and everyone got bad grades for that test, so I’m considered lucky, and I’d say if the grades were higher on average, that would be in the high 90’s.

  • Yeah but musicians are more prone to the senses than one who is not…it’s about emotion…I know people who are very gifted but cannot dance let alone carry a tune…being a musician lets you be geared to emotion at higher levels than one who is not…There is this kid who sins opera and plays classical music on the piano…he is 12…he hates it and wants to play rock-pop…not many 12 years old who can do that on the spot..

  • I am also a gifted child that was once twice-exceptional because of the poison that I have ingested when I was a child from many toxic chemicals that I experienced during my early childhood in a developing country. Here’s the thing that so many people need to know about gifted children and the indigo children is that they are basically the same concept except one side is on the transpersonal level of psychology while the gifted children is more humanistic approach to psychology. The indigo children are a specific group of gifted children that have an ability that extends beyond the religious mindset. This is a shout-out to those who are supporters of gifted or star children.

  • misdiagnoses, or delayed diagnoses with or without the medication madness has destroyed lives. We were lucky that God intervened, and HEALED, removing the meds, and provided the way towards health. some ramifications still exist, and still battling for education, and complete health. Yet ultimately my twice exceptional kid will be a strong advocate and ambassador for JESUS, and all of his gifted-ness shall be used, with or without a free or appropriate education.

  • you do t tell them about Jesus.why don’t you stop analysing and trying to change live. o diagnosis doctors are not God unwuified people teachers doctors etc.read bible.yes.I never went saying I had pro lem.yes my son and I had that “no body understands me ” he said.
    well as parents we do t need your help as parents.start listening to parents you’d have less problems rather than seeing yourself in position of advising parents.some of us are not lazy parents they dont understand gifted children.I did they call themselves “experts” they dont want to listen to parents.dont need diagnosis.do they beleicee in Jesus.treat them why is gifted child a case for “treatment” its not disorder.you dont listen to naturally gifted parents.too slow too unchallenging is awfill.it damages peoples brains its neuro toxic.start respecting gifted pare ts don’t need qualification to be gifted you dont lime naturally able people because you are jealous want control and have to study.you dont think outside the box.

  • I was trilingual and several levels above math and even social studies by the time I hit 11. I was so so bored in School that I ended up being the class clown but one with a poignant and accurate sense of humor. By the time I was 13 I was not allowed in neither English nor French class I spoke better than the teachers and they couldn’t handle me so I played basketball with the jocks, smoked cigs with my bros and solved algorithms with the nerds I went in the language class only to take the tests which where a joke. The year was 1980 in Costa Rica in a fairly good Catholic School, good teachers in general and impeccable discipline and structure all boys, martial law basically. High School was boring except for the teachers that recognized my unusual multiple intelligence, the Social Studies and Math teachers. Thank god I had those people to guide me. Afterwards in College I used all those skills to drink like crazy and bond with my cohort of jocks & party boys, gone were the nerds, 6 1/2 years later I graduated a 4 year program. Eventually in Graduate School I finally was able to focus and study with good teachers and interesting topics I loved it graduated with honors etc. I never really had any formal training in English and a little bit of French until they kicked me out of the School at 12, long story. To the point of this video I am sure my development would’ve be so much smoother and made me a better and calmer person but they opted to throw me out of their classroom #incompetent at least they didn’t have Ritalin otherwise I would’ve been flying under the Cukoos nest. Eventually after years of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, meditation, nutrition, exercise and stress management I feel great at 51. It probably could’ve been much easier.

  • my parents still think i have ADD, depression, and anxiety. even though i haven’t shown signs of ADD since i was 12 and signs of depression or anxiety since freshman year of high school. even though my latest counselor debunked all of that, saying i have social-depression, an external environment problem not internal. My ADD symptoms came from something i do deal with constantly, my sensory processing disorder, and my anxiety came from that. and lastly they told me i was gifted. my parents cannot dissociate my external problems with my internal problems, everyone has failed me, and yet my mother still cannot understand why i have no motivation to do things in life. this is exactly the sort of thing that gives me depression. I’ve been told not to give up by my latest counselor, but i had already given up on my dreams, i used to want to be a scientist, someone who studied disease and viruses. but i want no part in that or anything for that matter. i don’t care how smart i am, or what i could bring to society. my family, my schools, AMERICA failed me. why would i want to be a part of a system that doesn’t listen to the idea’s of individuals anyway.

  • I was never tested but my parents thought I was slow or wasn’t trying hard enough. Now, I’m 35 with numerous diagnoses and most likely gifted and suicidal. Reaching out for help is pointless now.

  • My father didn’t talk until age 8. After the Army rejected him at the height of WW2, he joined the Air Force in ’48, and they assessed his IQ at 137. He says he stayed resentful towards his parents for the rest of his life for having raised him as retarded. But no doubt, he had problems. Still, those problems seem mild compared to mine. After a childhood of being unable to form words properly, followed by a lifetime of rejection and being dys-social and never knowing why, I finally self-diagnosed as 2e at the age of 58. Talk about an epiphany and a catharsis! If I wrote an autobiography, I would entitle it, “OK, I’m Ready to Begin My Life, Now”.

  • I have Aspergers and it was awkward watching the mother at the end cry about her child having it. What does she mean by “he’s not going to get better”. I don’t see any problem with my Aspergers, I can remember sights, sounds and textures very vividly.

  • Just maybe we shouldn’t put a label on a little kid that will impact the kid for the rest off his life that is based on how we think the mind works. The Dsm changes and changes and is based on the most modern believes from psychologist. How can we say to a kid your this and you need this medicine to be normal and fit in? Diagnoses can only be one thing bullshit based on pseudoscience until we can fully understand our minds and possibilities.
    For me alone we need 100 billion ancestors from the year 0 till the year 2019. (2019/40 average age is around 50) 1×2 2×2 4×2 8×2 16×2 etc. So if we took the total number off people that have ever lived all we do is filter the people with the same similarities and think that all off them are the same. We most accept that we are idiots and should not have a checklist and if you get a full card its bingo here is your diagnose. We should threat every kid with an open mind and only help if its beneficial to the kid. What we do is put them on medication and make zombies off them just because we want them to shut up. It’s insane the first 4 years the parents want you to talk/walk/play etc but, when your going to school the kids need to be silence and listen to the adults…..
    And we wonder why kids believe in Giants or denial off the holocaust when we wont accept a kid that thinks for himself.

  • In regard to believing in yourself.. If a child on this spectrum is taught critical thinking regarding response and reactivity… One can see improvement. It also has to do with positive reinforcement and how WE as parents react to and treat them… Another helpful tool for us is raising a thinking child workbook by Myrna b shure. It helps them to stop and critically respond to situations rather than react…

    I plan to include more on my channel with time. Stay tuned

  • This is a great video, spreading it around as much as I can…please also note that some of the stigmatized gifted kids get caught up in the “troubled teen industry” at some point…then things really get bad. See CAFETY.org for more info…I was one of those kids but fortunately was capable enough to run away…which led to all sorts of other issues.

  • Your glorification of “gifted” children is the product of your inability to do something meaningful with your life. So you fob off your failures on to people whom you place upon a higher pedestal, because why try when there’s someone more qualified, right?

  • I think people can have a stronger ability to do something, however I also believe that, even with a gifted person, if they have no passion or interest for it then, evidence has shown that their talent can be neglected to the point that they even lose their talent.

  • (sorry for my english, I’m french)what my psychologist didn’t hear it’s that I had and eating disorder and didn’t go to school for 2 years (just pass my exams) so because I didn’t eat enough, because of a depression and because I couldn’t concentrate and because I did the test at 8 am after a party I did a normal test (high average)… And I told that to my psychologist and it’s like she didn’t hear…So do the test when you want (my mom kind of force me) and when you feel you can handle it!

  • psychology is a fraud psychologists vote on diagnoses in the APA meetings in San Francisco here is my new disability Radice’s Syndrome (former teacher Debra Radice)
    symptonsinability to see other peoples’ perspectivesinability to see other peoples interests goals needs and rightsInvasive controlling behavior Inability to accept constructive criticism lack of humility

  • Thank you so much for this video! I will do my utmost through Minds That Soar, LLC to publicize your efforts to spread the word about the dangers of the misdiagnosis of our gifted children. I talk with so many parents who have experienced the misunderstanding and misdiagnosis of their gifted children. Your video will do much to educate teachers and families about the time,effort and money needed to meet the needs of every uniquely gifted child. May this video go viral!

  • How about you take certain known inflammatory foods or artificial ingredients (often banned in other countries) and see the hyperactivity and reactivity decrease in the “adhd” kids… They are all on a spectrum of sensitivity and I am interested in seeing how it is all related… With many psychological “disorders” included… How many of us just think differently, but are told we have a “disorder” and are fed things that our genetic predispositions are not wired to process? How many of these issues can be treated with the treatment of inflammatory issues, malabsorption and removal of environmental toxins? Naturopaths certified by the board of education are studying, postulating remedies and treating these “disorders” already. Look up Dr Matthew Baral and some others that have a professional education….And look up how these “diseases” we’re first classified in the dsm… The scans of the brains of people with these “disorders” are mutable… Consider other factors in environment/diet

  • My daughter at 10 is a leader and a excellent teacher with a heart of gold. Grandma has custody of her and has her on medications. for Defiant disorder, i am so upset i am unable to save my daughter. She is honor roll, Plays piano, violin, and many gifted talents, quilting, cooking, she is awesome. but she wants her way and no one can stop her. she hates how nobody will address her anymore, if she is upset teachers say to each other not her did she take her pill? that bothers her to feel so alienated.

  • Honestly I hate being “gifted”. None of my teachers think that it’s a learning disability and just tell me to do my work. No, I don’t want to, it’s boring and I want something different, just let me draw please.

  • Ok from the time my now 13 year old daughter could speak she was an obvious leader. She is also very very talented in Art. We took her to see the dr when she was in first grade because her behavior was not allowing her to learn. She was then put on medications for ADHD and they have helped tremendously! She is very gifted musically with instruments, with drawing, with science, and other subjects, so we had a “problem” child that went from one who couldn’t control her mind to one who is now in many extra curricular activities and is an honor roll student! So my question is, because my child is on ADHD medications and I think rightfully so and is better able to focus and excels does this mean she is not in fact gifted? I also have a 7 year old child who behaves just fine but excels at math, reading, art, and music, but the school no longer has the talented and gifted program (TAG) that my older daughter was once in. I feel like she is being held back from becoming her full potential.

  • Camille vous est les victim pour les sisteme educacion ent France? les programme des educaccion es tres horrible les maestres pense les personne que differnet sont “descapacite” les masetres pense les persones sont different es “descapcite” je me conaissance les masters loi international droits d l’homme humanitaire criminal refugee ent sept langues pour les es compulsive obessieve depressie bipolare JE NE TENE LES INVALIDES JE ME TRES INTELLIGENT

  • I was diagnosed as gifted in grade school..could read well beyond my years..did great in many subjects. My home environment was awful..l had a crazy father..and a mother who had little education…even now she shows her ignorance in certain things. Socially l did alright until high school…the breakup of my family…and my dad’s subsequent murder by a person he knew didn’t help. It affected me. I suffered rejection by my peers social isolation. I was bullied by so called normal kids..my being smart wasn’t cool anymore. I still had my intelligence…but l hid in the library to feel safe..l no longer went to class. I didnt care anymore. I didn’t fit in anywhere..l was sad..my mom remarried..l had a cruel stepfather who couldn’t wait to push me out in the streets..l was now failing in all my subjects..most of my teachers didn’t care. Now l hated school..but my mom made me go because she didn’t want me around the house. I got dumped in one of those backward classes until the teacher realized that l wasn’t dumb. He said l didnt belong with kids who would never be able to read beyond first grade level. I was transferred out..back to normal classes. They had a TAG class but ended because of budget cuts. In that class l woulda been with kids like me..smart and bored.probably woulda saved me. What now? So l had to go to summer adult education school to get my high school diploma. At least l did get one. Let me tell l tried so hard to make something out my life..l didnt have no one to believe in me. I got to do some things..l was in military for a while…it wasnt for me. I kept trying college. I wanted more than anything to be a lawyer. Didnt make it. Too old now. Yes I’m bitter. A smart child needs support..needs someone to believe in him or her..be protected from bullies..needs compassion..acceptance..then that child will succeed in life. Maybe my story will make someone see.

  • You need to read the book of the same name as the video. It’s informative and sensitively thought out. Very valuable for a parent to have.

  • I’m sleeping few hours in the last 2 nights because of the struggle in the school and with the teachers of my 11 years old gifted boy.

  • i was mentally raped by the school district it took me a long time to heal. i taught myself 9 languages, published 7 books, won the state of New Jersey in geography bee in 2004 and I am doing my masters now in international human rights law and going onto the International Criminal Court

  • These “gifted” children are not Born with a skill to become a great guitar player they are Great Because of endless hours of Practice..My Grandmother Played the Sitar as good as Ravish Shankar but its not like when i first picked up the guitar i was able to shred through the master of puppets solo or Finger Pick Through Fur Elise that came from Practice Every Day and Actually Wanting to learn everything i can about the Guitar.saying musicians are born with a talen is a slap in the face

  • There are no words. Thank you. It is so difficult as a parent to fight for a child you feel is potentially gifted without also feeling egotistical or narcissistic on their behalf (what parent doesn’t feel their child is amazing) but when it comes to medicating a child you feel needs understanding you need (as a parent) the back up and support of informative & professional judgement to fight misdiagnosis… no words. THANK YOU.

  • That annoying situation when your friend (who’s been a loser always, I’ve gotta tell you) gets a beautiful girl to fall in love with him in like 2 weeks? Yep, that just materialized. I believe I should be pleased for him however I would rather it to be me. He smiled as he told me he learned from the Cupid Love System (Google it). I want to hide out in a cave at this moment.

  • You will understand that aggravating moment when your good friend (who’s been a loser for a lifetime, by the way) gets an unbelievable girl to fall for him in, like 3 weeks?! God, that basically occured. I’m aware I should think well done, but I want it to be me. He stated he learned from the Cupid Love System (Google it). I wish to disappear in a cave right now…

  • @Carmin Roldan That is good that you have a gifted child and I personally supportive of the fact that you stand up for your son because I am personally am a gifted child myself also but the problem is that many professionals remain ignorant of my presence as a gifted child to the point they drugged me and forced me into a system that never worked.

  • @quickmantan Wheres your stuff.I would like to hear it..and I’ll see if you have talent..since I have come across a dime a dozen guitarists..from jazz to classical..to bolero..to salsa singers..a 12 year old kid who writes and sings opera..

  • That woman in 12:00 talked how her child never ever gets any better. But i was diagnosed with asperger as a teenager and i dont have a single “limited interest” or anything like that at all. I dont have obsessions with anything. And i can easily communicate with strangers without any trouble. So i was either misdiagnosed, or it can get better to a point you practically dont have any symptoms at all.

  • What you just said coming from a psychiatrist has ruined the lives of some the best people, and led me to hatred in my past. Being different is not an illness, get over yourself.

  • gifted is a person who has an extreme passion for a certain activity i believe.
    you like sth soo much that you cannot imagine your life without it and plus you never feel tired doing it.You spend an extreme amount of your energy on that activity and that makes you stand out.
    then you are considered gifted.long story short folks!

  • @iBradyniollie I took my IQ test when I was in first or second grade, back when I was in a local school.

    Now, you see, the local schools are absolutely crap. I didn’t learn anything, I was bored out of my mind, and there were no real grades, so I had nothing to work towards. So, as you can guess, I didn’t practice (Still don’t see above comment). So please explain how I scored 140 IQ on my tests (Two of them), without practising at all.

  • THANK YOU! I have a child who we believed to be gifted from a young age. Through the first few years of school, I had teachers, family, friends telling me that he must be on the spectrum because he is so “different”. After meeting with specialists we finally learned that he is Highly gifted, is not remotely on the spectrum but is just a misunderstood child. We still to this day have people come up and ask, what diagnosis does he have because they just do not understand his point of view.

  • انا ادري في محكومة دولية我只道全国即人道法i know international lae je travai en droits ibternationsl lae je travai en teavaiven droits des humanitaireя знаю а иежд3народнвй гкманитаоныц праваyo hsblo detechp humanitario

  • Many gifted children are afterward diagnosed with ADHD. No shame there.

    Being gifted can be easily diagnosed. It does not explains compartmental disorders. Many high level IQ person do not develop significant compartmental disorders.

    Hell on Ritalin/Concerta… if it is not appropriate it won’t do any good. Easy enough to realize. If it does good, it looks rather in favor of a dual diagnosis.

    Underestimating an ADHD trouble in a gifted person is not a gift.

  • I was diagnosed as gifted as a kid and not diagnosed for ADHD until age 26. The diagnosis of exclusion was used, with an all-day test-a-thon with neuropsychiatrist. I also was positively diagnosed with in-depth screenings at two other facilities. So you can be both. Misdiagnosis is a problem, in both directions, but the alternative is not necessarily that the student is gifted.

  • information speed up accelerates right hemisphere apprehension of information (pattern recognition) largely schools fragment data into compartments that are non informational to todays young… they get frigitty and bored. Left hemisphere administrators are not only at the mercy of evaluators and ‘boards’ who remain staunchly left hemisphere they are myopically left hemisphere themselves. There is nobody evaluating the ‘evaluators’. Half of silicon valley are ‘asperger’. Go figure…

  • From the comments made here I gather that a lot of people are confused with the use of the terms “gifted” and “talented”.  I grew up thinking that people in the preforming arts (singer/actors/musicians) and artists were talented.  The best of them were often described  as “gifted.”  We all knew that some people were born with this talent and the rest of us just had to work really hard at it if we wanted to be good.  Other people here reject the idea that “gifted” or abnormally intelligent people exist.  I do not know why exactly.  Perhaps they  fear that acknowledging that such beings exist  will undermine their own accomplishments or lack therof.  As the mother of a gifted child I have to tell you that the truly “gifted” are born this way.  My son doesn’t have to study or practice hours to do anything.  He learns by looking at pictures, text, etc. one time.  He connects the dots in his mind in extraordinary ways. He craves learning, seeks learning and gets bored with tv, video games and sports. He understands nuances and relationships as well a wise adult would.  His mind works and creates non-stop; I have to make him watch a movie or listen to comedians just to get his brain to take a break.  I do support him,but do not demand any of this.  He is 12 and studies organic chemistry, quantum physics and immunology for fun.  I do provide the opportunity for this intellectual quests by homeschooling him, providing a computer and taking him to the library, but do not demand any of it.  I do not have to.  Some days I wish he were “just normal.”

  • 4:54 Disruptive? How shrewd of you teacher to say it’s the gifted child who is disruptive, and the gifted child who is having the crisis. High IQ people aren’t usually the ones who can’t behave properly. Maybe you’re the one in crisis, maybe your profession is a joke.

  • Live from the devil and the life of society that’s trying to mold people into one category our school system is not set up for different varieties of gifted children. That’s why homeschoolers started look at your friends don’t even acknowledge that word. It’s up to the parents to spend the money and the time to help the child navigate through the learning process and understand the educational system. I have taught my children to understand education system and they work through it plus I help them show other types of ways of learning and accept who they are. There’s nothing wrong anyone really there’s no such thing as a norm it’s because technology is gone High and other tot of means of supporting or not emphasize like farming different types of art and social gifting.

  • @sunshineinspirations I’m am so curious to know how those people reacted to your findings. I suspect we are going to find out the same thing about our son next month during his evaluation. Nice to have ammunition.

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    Btw, it’s FREE to any school anywhere in the world

  • Parents can protect and nurture their gifted child by homeschooling. I know it’s not possible for all families, but it is an option for some.

  • @iPledgeNoAllegiance You fail to see the point.

    Just because you fail a class doesn’t mean you aren’t gifted. Sometimes we fail classes because we are bored or have issues on the side (Depression, social issues, etc.)

  • I was tested as a child and told that I was NOT gifted, because my hand-eye coordination didn’t measure up.  Turns out I have a spinal condition and an IQ of over 140.  I spent most of my life so bored in classrooms that I fidgeted or read.  Because I understood the subject in less than half the time it took other students to learn it.  And I wasn’t allowed to work on assignments until the teacher was done talking about them. and at home I couldn’t do homework because of other issues.  I got D’s and F’s in school because when they tested for giftedness I failed because my brain is gifted but my body isn’t… 

  • @iPledgeNoAllegiance And we are on the same side for that part, but you said that person wasn’t born good at physics, but through research, we obviously know that is not true, and that your traits are via inheritance.

  • I am just confuse about my son. He learn easily things if u teach him. He likes music and he likes also dancing at a very young age. I heard him singing twinkle twinkle little star but in different tune, and sometimes he change the lyrics while signing the song he was just 2.5 yo. He is now 4 years old and always want me to stop in the place where there’s a lot of musical instruments. He likes to play musical instrument when he has an opportunity. We are very poor that I cannot afford to buy him a guitar which is always wanted at mall shop. I keep thinking he might be gifted but not supported. Even at school he is very attentive and likes to sing… Any idea please tell me.

  • Thank you for understanding. I can relate to being picked on like that, mostly verbally though. For example, if I would ask for help on a math problem (I teach myself everything) then everyone would make me feel bad the rest of the day by saying stuff like, “The ADVANCED kid needs help? Is the world going to end?” It really makes me feel bad sometimes.

  • I was misdiagnosed by my dr with developmental disabilitys like ADHD autism and I never had it but he diagnosed me with that based what my mother told him witch most of it was stretched and some lies the only things that I really had and still have is because of what my mother and her boyfriends did to me like depression and PTSD not the disability it sucks being recognized as being disabled they see me as never doing anything that a normal person can do and it’s awful it is so terrible on my self esteem people want to just step in and help me because they think I can’t do it it’s so annoying and ridiculous

  • my parents are dumb as a box of rocks and i’m like a friggin einstein and shit yo!
    i’m a brainiac fo shizzle my nizzles! i can break dance circles around my bro and sister, shit they be asshats when i’m around, i be doing physics and stuff and they just stoopid, i can barely put up with they ignorance and stuff. i must of just been born smarter than everyone, sux knowing everything tho! lonely here at the top.

  • I don’t understand why the two black lines at the end of the screen, are not always the same size… (sorry for my english, I’m french)

  • Studies on genetics not conclusive how much of our intelligence is due to our genes and environmental influences.

    A book published by Chinese-American author Amy Chua: “Battle Hymns of the Tiger Mother”. A mother satisfied with nothing less than an A in test scores who pushed her older daughter to play piano. With daily practice sessions that every note must be perfect before dinner & on vacation eventually led to her Carnegie Hall recital… the possibility we can succeed by working hard.

  • While you are correct in stating that anyone can become a musician with enough determination and effort, I believe it is a gross oversimplification to suggest that passion is the only thing a “gifted” person is born with to separate them from the norm. Individuals are born with certain innate predispositions toward particular skills. While it still takes countless hours of focused practice to hone those skills, it will not take as many for a person gifted in that area (music or otherwise).

  • Gifted is not the same as talented. Gifted refers to being above the norm, whereas you can have plenty of talent at the average level. And as far as the initial question goes, being “made” in this sense, refers to developing and culturing “giftedness” as a child grows, rather than possessing those innate qualities from birth.

  • I’m not sure why you’d acquaint me with Gnosticism but I must make something clear, I don’t believe that there are a sub-race of humans who are automatically better than others at something. Nothing is accomplished without practise and training. But I don’t believe that there aen’t people born with that edge, or passion, that exceeds mpost. I’m just against calling every kid a genius becuase they do something you wish you had the determination to do.

  • @quickmantan Listen to what he said. He said that ANYONE who started at his age with his level of training and work could be at the top of his game. I disagree. My mother was one of those born with a native talent for music as well as perfect pitch (which very few have). My brothers and I all played musical instruments, but none of us so well that it became our career, and we all stopped at a certain level. Yes, gifted people ARE born.

  • This this this! My parents put me on meds and all that, I played that game for years! But they only cared for me, exactly as you said they did not know what else to to with my interior pressure building. The only thing is I dont know how to get people in those system’s to listen, unfortunately the people in control of these things seem to be either close minded. Or totally obedient to the rules and procedures.

  • I know psychologists who think the exact opposite as this psychologists. Musicians are made, they’re not born. The only thing these musicians were born with was the passion and dedication. That’s the only thing, other than that, as long as you do not have a learning disability, you can be a musician. In fact, there is no such thing as a tone def person, they simply never learned relative pitch because of their lack of interest.

  • Bullshit you’re not “losing” anyone to these diagnosis’s. I was tested at 7 years old and I had an IQ of 136 and was sent into gifted classes until seventh grade when I decided to quit because I was failing that class. I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until a year later and I show a majority of ASD symptoms as well. Gifted classes are shit because most gifted students have learning needs that are different from most people, the best thing to do is put them in private classes. All gifted classes do is make the instructions harder to catch/follow(most were verbal and I hated it because it went right over my head) and they’re usually a whole school group ahead (I was doing highschool work in 7th grade), which makes things even MORE difficult. Also I’m an art prodigy and draw better than the majority of kids anywhere close to my age(I’m 13). You’re not losing kids, they just have a higher chance of future success if they have a specific thing they’re good at, like how I’m good at art. If their smarts only help in school then it never mattered to begin with because afterwards they’re just like everyone else.

    Stop putting so much goddamn pressure on us and stop treating ADHD/ASD like some sort of tragic disease. “Misdiagnosis” my ass. They think differently and can adapt in ways neurotypicals can’t. You should be proud of your kids no matter what.

  • My highly gifted son has social anxiety disorder and selective mutism. I’ve had psychiatrists tell me that that giftedness is not related to the anxiety. As the parent, that seemed rediculous to me! When you have a child who is reading at the 6th grade level in Kindergarten and pretending that he can’t read to fit in with the other kids, it is obvious to me that the giftedness is at least adding to the anxiety! He’s a freshman in H.S. still stuggling socially. Still brilliant and so kind!

  • It’s half and half. One has to be born with the ability to learn. Let’s face it, if two water-heads with a collective IQ of 90 have a child, odds are the kid is not going to be the next Beethoven, because they didn’t have much to drawn from. The other half is entirely nurture-based. If you have a child with innate intelligence, but it isn’t nurtured, and they’re not encouraged (even forced) to learn they’re still not going to amount to much except a bitter and underutilized adult… Exceptions no doubt exist, but then they always do.

  • @djkidtich Sure, some of us are ignorant, but so are a lot of non-gifted people. Most of us, however, keep to ourselves. Some of us even try to hide our true identity during our pre-adulthood years, so morons like you don’t judge us before you actually meet us.

  • With all due respect, there is a great difference between giftedness and skill. Yes, most people who work at a skill or study a subject can “get better” but few reach the level that gifted individuals achieve. I am a ballet teacher and have many students who spend the same amount of time in the studio but few will ever be good enough to become professionals, let alone famous, no matter how much they try. Each person can improve by work, I will never be a mathematician no matter how much I try.

  • It is impossible to say that either of the statements are 100% true (G&T’s are ‘born’ or ‘made’). From the evidence that I have perceived and my own experience, I can say that whether a child is born or made would generally be based on personality. Some will naturally have a high ability in one or many fields, while some may be trained or learn to have a high ability in one or many subjects.

  • There’s no such thing as gifted people. No one is born with innate skills that do not take thousands of hours of practise to become remotely acceptable. People call others gifted as an excuse for their own failings to do what they truly want with their life.

  • This makes me so sad. My son’s 2nd grade teacher told me he had ADHD (She said, “I’ve been a teacher for many years, and I know ADHD when I see it”), I made an appointment with the pediatrician, and he was prescribed Concerta. He took one dose, and zoned out so badly that I was shaken to the core. That was it. No more. Instead of fighting for more testing, I took him out of school and he learned at his own pace. He tested off the charts on the 3rd grade standardized testing, but I thought it was pretentious to assume he was gifted. He wasn’t tested for giftedness until he was 15. I feel like so many years were wasted. We had no advocates. My family and friends knew he was smart, but I thought every parent thought their kid was the smartest one. Fortunately, he has learned and done a lot doing online research, watching countless documentaries, and doing his own projects. Now, finally, he has a math tutor who helps him at his accelerated pace. I’m just very sad that I didn’t recognize it, and that no one helped me to identify his gifetedness before he was a teen.

  • I have been regarded as gifted, but from my own gathering of knowledge the human brain can restructure and be developed in amazing ways… we are the direct product of our environments with a mild influence by genetics so I can see that our western culture is in a way giving a social disease to kids in result having them believe and know only of materialistic incentives, the average schools condition kids into working beings,,, they don’t normally encourage creative innovation… hmm…

  • I cannot thank you enough for this video!!! This is a topic that I care very deeply about and suffering from similar feelings myself, I feel we need to stick up for these kids. As parents we need to know that we are completely capable of raising our kids and it’s our RIGHT. WE know best, NOT the experts. All children are gifted and we need to start listening to them, they’re wiser than we’d like to believe. The adults are the ones who’ve lost confidence in themselves (out of fear). it’s the kids who know better, that’s why they act the way they do. We need to stop panicking and start listening. It’s not right to push our fear onto them.

  • @TheUltimadum I may be biased, see as I’m gifted, but whatever.

    Cut the crap. Gifted children should deserve the most attention and the best facilities.

    Most of these children will grow up to become great pillars of society. Scientists, businessmen, lawyers, politicians (Somewhat less), etc., and they should be pushed on early to succeed later on in life.

    Don’t even dare shove the “God created equal” crap in my face, I’m agnostic so I don’t care.

  • How did you know that you are gifted? As a child i never showed any signs, but now, i started to noticed some signs ( im european ), and in english classes i m the best, i can see a full english movie without subtitles, the same thing with science. I found that the classes are boring. And in english i was often bullied and i couldn’t even raise my hand.

  • You could define “gifted children” however you like, you could even define “intelligence” as just being “smart” meaning: know stuff, do the “right actions” and so fourth. The best/most useful definition, especially also because it is this phenomena which is the most curious and which one should refer to, is the synonym between “gifted children” and “highly intelligent children”. Highly intelligent children tend to learn ANYTHING faster, unless there’s a disability in some specific area.

  • I’m a gifted child and believe me, It’s hard to sit through classes with “normal” kids and I feel so misunderstood. I often feel like there is no where else that I feel safe and comfortable besides my gifted class. I’ve heard that they’re going to take mine away, without it I fear that I and the rest of my T.A.G. class will feel even more alone. I’ve seen great minds ruined and it’s not a pretty sight. This video literally made me BAWL!!!! Some of these things I can even personally relate to.:(

  • @quickmantan Me too..I learned piano by ear..my dad is not a gifted guitarist but he can accompany anyone..and we play covers in English and Spanish..but the most important element in a band is the singer..no stinking drummer.whats he gonna do bang on it all day..bass..no..though he is essential with the drummer..but the singer..now if you sing and play thats a bonus..but anyone can sing..technically speaking.but not everyone has the interpretation..so that people lean on your emotion..

  • @quickmantan Giftedness is a born trait..I know countless muscians..some guitarists who are really prudent..and have high technical ability..but they can’t sing…now I am a piano player and sing..and have no formal education..I play by ear..can’t read a note..but when I sing and play it seems I attract more attention..it is the interpretation one has to stimulate the crowd..that and countless times singing top 40..so it depends on a lot of talented and devoted musicians..Gifted only a handful

  • @xander7ful Giftedness is a born trait..I know countless muscians..some guitarists who are really prudent..and have high technical ability..but they can’t sing…now I am a piano player and sing..and have no formal education..I play by ear..can’t read a note..but when I sing and play it seems I attract more attention..it is the interpretation one has to stimulate the crowd..that and countless times singing top 40..so it depends on a lot of talented and devoted musicians..Gifted only a handful.

  • Here is my take on this since I personally am a gifted child myself and have studied #transpersonal    #psychology when I am in college. If one were to look at it in a different way, one will find that gifted children are the result of both #nurture   and #nature working in alignment towards a healthier self. That means the environment that supports the genes that enables stronger cognitive development prevalent in gifted children must be there along with the things that the parents and grandparents do that activates the gene to allow it to express itself in the future generations (according to the principles of #epigenetics, if one were to provide the right #environment and lives a harmonious life, then the genes they expressed that are good for the future generation will be turned on and the child will be gifted). Another thing is that in order for that child to sustain that #giftedness, the child must also have a nurturing parent that fosters the child’s growth at age 2-4 (which is the golden age for child development since 95% of the child’s potential are developed the best at that age). When I mean by this, the parent must involve in doing things with the child in all aspects of life and learning to participate wholeheartly to the point the child began to take interest in the things that is learned or began to learn it completely on its own. So the question is not whether #gifted children are made or born, but instead of what has been done prior to the conception of the child?

  • My mother was a gifted child accordionist and pianist, but she was forced by her mother to practice four hours per day as a child and was not allowed to play outside with other kids for fear she’d damage her hands. She went on to win a Fulbright Scholarship in college and has played with symphony orchestras. So I disagree with this dancer who says anyone can attain his level of ability. It takes parents who both support and push you in order to go far.

  • It pisses me of that it makes it sounds like parents are anxious to have their kids diagnosed as ADHD or whatever else. The reason why parents are so desperate is because school is not working for their kid and there are so few other choices. Not all parents can homeschool. WE NEED TO CHANGE OUR SCHOOLS.

  • Discarding children. Couldn’t possibly mean they’re gifted. It’s resentment. Do health professionals even think of gifted people? Or do they think it’s really that rare? It can ruin lives.

  • Gifted doesn’t necessarily mean academics. Dr. Webb addresses this throughout all his books and presentations. This discussion is more about gifted kids in academic settings. I aLways love the quote (which it escapes me whoM ’tis attributed,) “Smart kids answer the questions, gifted kids question the answers.” For those who are searching for answers, have schools or Doctors say your kid has adhd etc., check out SENG, Hoagies gifted, etc. Having a “gifted child,” is not an easy thing, quite the contrary. Look for support, because schools are not a great resource. IMHO

  • I’m here because I’m investigating how to survive a bossy leader she uses a strict commanding voice to tell people what to do, if you’re lucky tags a ‘please’ to it in the end, talks to you without using your name, remains cool and distant from the team, uses language such as ‘you want to do this now’ (how does she know what I want?) bossiness is what makes our world unfair bending down to those who are above you and walking over those who are below you bossiness is maybe a much too kind word for that what it truly is…