Using Positive Discipline Techniques

 

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How to Use Positive Discipline Techniques Build a Positive Relationship. Positive discipline uses an authoritative approach, where a child’s feelings are taken Use Encouragement Liberally. Positive discipline focuses on encouragement over praise. Instead of praising kids for a Problem-Solve.

Positive Discipline is a method where parents clearly communicate what behaviors are appropriate, which ones are inappropriate, and what the rewards for good behavior and the consequences for bad. The Positive Discipline Parent Education and Classroom Management models are aimed at developing mutually respectful relationships. Positive Discipline teaches adults to employ kindness and firmness at the same time, and is neither punitive nor permissive. The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include: Mutual respect.

Positive discipline techniques 1. Maintaining a sense of responsibility is key. You must clarify to your child that, from now on, things will start to work differently. Positive guidance and discipline are crucial for children because they promote self-control, teach responsibility and help them make thoughtful choices. The more effective adult caregivers are at encouraging appropriate child behavior, the less time and effort they will spend correcting misbehavior.

Effective discipline uses many different tools, like positive reinforcement, modeling, and a loving and supportive family. Sometimes, punishments are also an effective tool-but that doesn’t mean. Because human beings act consciously or unconsciously based on their beliefs only. Children always have a need to connect and belong. If they don’t get it, they try to get it by misbehaving.

Positive discipline is based on finding solutions to children’s problems with mutual respect, kindness, and encouragement. Positive Discipline Techniques: Use the Raw Power of Presence & Beingness and See Your Kids Empowered Positive discipline techniques are about being. By practicing positive discipline, parents can get through tough moments while creating a stronger connection with their child. Take a look at these seven suggestions. Positive Discipline Strategies Positive Discipline can provide an anchor of constructive behavior that can take a disruptive class from barely functioning to highly functional in no time.

The following strategies can be used the next time you encounter discipline issues in your classroom or pro-actively implemented during the first day of school.

List of related literature:

These techniques focus on positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, punishment, or a combination of all three.

“Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nursing: Integrating Psychotherapy, Psychopharmacology, and Complementary and Alternative Approaches” by Joyce J. Fitzpatrick, PhD, MBA, RN, FAAN
from Advanced Practice Psychiatric Nursing: Integrating Psychotherapy, Psychopharmacology, and Complementary and Alternative Approaches
by Joyce J. Fitzpatrick, PhD, MBA, RN, FAAN
Springer Publishing Company, 2012

For positive reinforcement, we add something positive (praise, reward) to increase a desired response (wash the dishes, earn good grades).

“Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy: An Integrative Approach” by Elsie Jones-Smith
from Theories of Counseling and Psychotherapy: An Integrative Approach
by Elsie Jones-Smith
SAGE Publications, 2014

All discipline strategies should be used after first working to develop a foundation of consistently positive and loving relationships and in concordance with positive reinforcement to increase appropriate behaviors.

“Principle-Based Stepped Care and Brief Psychotherapy for Integrated Care Settings” by Alexandros Maragakis, William T. O'Donohue
from Principle-Based Stepped Care and Brief Psychotherapy for Integrated Care Settings
by Alexandros Maragakis, William T. O’Donohue
Springer International Publishing, 2018

Using techniques such as positive and negative reinforcement, punishments, contracts, response cost, token economies, extinction procedures, environmental manipulation, and stimulus control, parents and teachers can be taught to exert a positive influence on behavior.

“Handbook of Medical Neuropsychology: Applications of Cognitive Neuroscience” by Carol L. Armstrong, Lisa A. Morrow
from Handbook of Medical Neuropsychology: Applications of Cognitive Neuroscience
by Carol L. Armstrong, Lisa A. Morrow
Springer International Publishing, 2019

A third way to keep discipline as positive as possible is to point out what our children did right.

“Raising Children Who Think for Themselves” by Elisa Medhus M.D.
from Raising Children Who Think for Themselves
by Elisa Medhus M.D.
Atria Books/Beyond Words, 2011

Positive and negative rein­forcement both aim to strengthen behavior but do so through different mechanisms.

“Case-Smith's Occupational Therapy for Children and Adolescents E-Book” by Jane Clifford O'Brien, Heather Kuhaneck
from Case-Smith’s Occupational Therapy for Children and Adolescents E-Book
by Jane Clifford O’Brien, Heather Kuhaneck
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Skinner proposed that positive reinforcement is the most effective approach for longterm behaviour change and that punishment is not particularly effective.

“Psychology for Educators” by Wilma Vialle, Pauline Lysaght, Irina Verenikina
from Psychology for Educators
by Wilma Vialle, Pauline Lysaght, Irina Verenikina
Thomson Learning, 2005

Positive behavior support approaches focus on creating positive learning environments and teaching alternative ways of behaving.

“Learners on the Autism Spectrum: Preparing Highly Qualified Educators” by Kari Dunn Buron, Pamela J. Wolfberg, Carol Gray
from Learners on the Autism Spectrum: Preparing Highly Qualified Educators
by Kari Dunn Buron, Pamela J. Wolfberg, Carol Gray
Autism Asperger Publishing Company, 2008

Discipline can be positive as well as negative as discussed below: 1.

“Managing Human Resource And Industrial Relations” by Tapomoy Deb
from Managing Human Resource And Industrial Relations
by Tapomoy Deb
Excel Books, 2009

Positive reinforcement and reward charts can be useful tools for managing oppositional, defiant, or regressive behavior.

“Handbook of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Pediatric Medical Conditions” by Robert D. Friedberg, Jennifer K. Paternostro
from Handbook of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Pediatric Medical Conditions
by Robert D. Friedberg, Jennifer K. Paternostro
Springer International Publishing, 2019

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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89 comments

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  • Hi doctor…this is the first time I am watching your video…can you help me…I have 2 toddlers just a year apart…so it really gets difficult and I am guilty of losing my cool…and I also feel that one of my kids is having it a lil tough time with his studies…as a result the school has volunteered to take extra classes for him…this has made me feel very depressed and I feel like a very bad mom…can you give me tips as to how to explain the extra time in school that he will have to spend…

  • Thank you so much for this. <3 I "accidentally" happened upon this video and I am so glad I did. I think you are so spot on about all of these things and I am looking forward to trying to change my mindset and the way I approach my 2-year old daughter. You have a new subscriber here!!:)

  • thank you thank you for taking ur time to help teach other parents a new, better, loving & more effective way of parenting. i grew up with yelling and threats and spanking.

  • Everything you’ve described as a No-No I’m doing on a daily basis���� I’m goi g to start implementing these strategies as soon as my kid wakes up in the morning

  • I work at a daycare that uses positive discipline. I will tell you that this DOES NOT work for every single child. There are children that no matter how much redirection, explanation, telling them the correct way to do things etc they do what THEY want to do anyway. I’ve had kids scratch, bite, kick, slap, and throw furniture at me. Positive discipline will not work for these types of children plain and simple.

  • My husband literally does all this and I dont. I need to more:( I can attest this works! My sons listen to dad, he never has to yell or make threats (of you dont listen I’m taking away your 1 he of screentime)

  • I lost structure and kinda let my children do whatever now I believe out of guilt of being afraid of me not being a good mother in the end but they have autism

  • Thank you so much for this video. I work with children and these techniques can do wonders. Besides that I do inner child meditation with myself from time to time, and I do the same things that you have shared here. Thank you for sharing these.

  • I am really enjoying your content, super helpful. I was hoping you could help me understand how to get my 3 year old to sleep. Sorry if you have already covered this.

  • I have a 2 year old and a 1 year old, thank you so much for these videos!! Im going through your videos and literally studying, im implementing all of Montessori, you have no idea how much you are helping!!

  • Super helpful! I’m a nanny to nearly 3 year old twin boys and we have been having a lot of BIG emotions at the same time recently. I’m a big believer of not punishing them for having emotions. I think it’s so important for when they’re older to recognise these emotions within themselves and be able to go to someone for help if they need it. Really love the idea of the walk to the end of the road I’ll have to use it when I’m back at work x

  • Hooray!!! My mom has taught Montessori since before I was born! It is truly the BEST!!! ���� (Almost all of my education has been Montessori!)

  • I’m 100% an advocate of positive discipline and gentle parenting… But begging and pleading with your child to do something doesn’t show them that you’re the calm, confident leader that they need in order to feel safe and stable. In addition, when they say they’re upset and then you distract them with play, you’re teaching them to ignore their emotions rather than to sit and feel those very valid and emotions and process them in a healthy way before moving on. I really love Janet Lansbury’s approach and how she explains these types of situations in her books and podcasts. Highly recommend checking them out, for anyone who has children and reads this. ❤️

  • Hi SJ, recently found your channel and I’m loving it! Due to have our first baby any day now and it’s so refreshing to see and hear your gentle parenting approach. Definitely something I’d like to work on as we grow as a family x

  • https://youtu.be/MiTXDm_zdDM
    Ideas to keep kids away from mobile and indulge in Fun Activities.
    Let’s give ideas to kids to enjoy their childhood in modern world.
    Please Share and Subscribe the channel.
    #braindevelopment #ImaginationOnTop

  • I’m so glad I stumbled on your video. The way I was disciplined was very old fashioned I’ve noticed it’s having me lack in some of my very important mommy roles. I don’t ever want my kids scared of me like I was if my mom. Now they are getting in the older older toddler stage and wanting to be more disobedient. So I want to go about this in the right way. Thanks for this definitely subscribing ������

  • I needed this
    I am feeling so frustrated with my 3 year old daughter
    She will not stop getting into things she has flooded our bathroom two times today.
    A month ago she pushed a chair up to our stove and we keep our salt and pepper and spices on top of it and she dumped them all out everywhere and then last week she dumped out all of our scent boosters for our laundry ( I thought they where high enough out of reach, i was wrong)
    She is constantly stuffing stuff in the toilet.
    And ive yelled at her over theses things and ive spanked her and i hate it so much I feel like im getting no where with her and part of it is that she is jealous because I just had my second daughter in July and these things happen when I’m busy with baby sister and ive gotten completely exhausted.

  • Never even thought of some of these. Definitely going to start introducing them to my 14 month old son as he gets a little older. Thank you!

  • My 2 years old daughter is recently having lots of tantrums and mood swings and shes super clingy.. shes teething and spending lots of screen time:( ive been dealing with the whole situation all wrong everytime shes upset i either yell at her or turn on the tv for her to just shush.. damn i feel like am i horrible mother. Thank you for this video

  • I was raised to fear. I feared getting yelled at, mocked, hit. I think it is a direct result to my shyness. As an adult I work really hard to be outgoing and to speak louder. And I remember as a child I tried to be as invisible as I could. It wasn’t that I was abused, I think I was only hit once. But just the thought of disappointing my grandma or my mom, the thought of them scolding me or telling me off for my clumsiness or something I did wrong was extremely frighting for me. By staying quiet and shy I was praised for being a good girl and well behaved. But really I just conditioned myself to lay low. I don’t want my children to grow up on fear, but I don’t want them to misbehave either. This technique sounds like right up my alley! Thank you! Subscribed!

  • Im still shocked by how many subscribers you have… with all your informations and facts that are so helpful… thank you for all your help. ��

  • Love these videos! Very helpful, but it would be great for some explanation of what to do when the example you give doesn’t work out all happy. Like, when you tell your 6 year old that we are leaving in 3 mins, and they can choose to go themselves or by you taking them. When you leave, and force them to go, and they are freaking out, what then??? It would be awesome if they just chose to go on their own 2 feet, but that’s probably not gonna happen the first time, and then you will try to give them more choices while they are losing it, and it’s gonna be a brutal rest of the day.

  • You beautiful wonderful soul:) thank you eternally for putting all of these priceless parenting examples in one video��blessings and love=]

  • My child is pretty good so discipline is something I need because my kid isn’t “bad” but shes a kid and sometimes stubborn. So im here to learn!

  • I have a 1.5yr old who makes a fist to hit us or bangs his head on his floor (thus hurting himself) when he’s upset. What do you recommend doing with him? So far we’ve been saying ‘no hitting’ but it hasn’t really worked. If we try to hold him, he doesn’t want to be held unless he comes to us himself to be held, after which he may try to hit us again:( Any ideas? THANK YOU!

  • Idk how my mom was so patient with us. I have to older sisters and a twin brother. She said we were just really good kids but idk man. Lol! I really wanna be like this with my kids. They are trying to drive me nuts ��

  • I loved this video! Very informative! I do want to make a suggestion. Saying “hm I see a toy over there” is hint dropping. Hint dropping growing up can make people grow up always second guessing themselves. Instead of knowing that if my mom wants me to do something she will tell me. And she can be honest with me. My father hint dropped and it’s affected me tremendously.

  • Thanks for the video. I will surely check out the other ones soon. My toddler has started having tantrums and I do not know how to handle them well. I was raised with love and respect and thought that I will have no issues raising my own kids like that some day. Now that I am a mother, I found that I am much less patient than I thought I was. And my husband is on the verge of starting to spank our son. I need to find a way to take over and calm our boy before this happens. I will try the strategies mentioned in this video and hopefully they will work. I just want to enjoy the time I spend with my son, without the stress.

  • The part about “it looks like you drew a purple circle”is true BUT never assume what a child is drawing-if you guess wrong it can deter them from using their imagination. Instead use prompts like “can you please tell me about the drawing you made?”

  • thank you for the great tips! I will definitely try them out. I usually just have a hard time when it’s meal time. THey will eat for the first few minutes, but will start talking or my 2 yr old will run around. I’m annoyed at myself for constantly reminding and telling to go eat. How can I teach them to focus and just do what needs to be done?

  • Ever since I found your videos, I watch them daily! It’s amazing how after putting these to practice, in even a day or 2 I began to see changes in my 2 toddlers as well as myself. Thank you SO MUCH!! Any tips on my preschooler who was perfectly fine on her first day and has meltdowns the following days/every time I mention school? I know eventually she’ll get into the routine but for now it’s so hard for me to calm her down

  • Hi there! FTM,,question on praising. For the FIRST time, everything is awesome to witness. My heart wants to praise! Is first time ok?? I take this is toddler content not baby but does this apply to babies, too? Mine is 2 mth old.:)

  • I enjoyed this. Just what I needed to help me with my difficult pre schooler. Do you have any tips on how to disciple a child who is cheeky?

  • Thank you. My son started hitting and pulling hair. He thinks it’s hilarious when I say no. It’s hard not to smile but I know I can’t. I just am scared if I can’t get him to stop laughing at the word no he’ll become a booger

  • I have no kids but I want to one day and I often worry about be disciplining portion. This method seems great! I’ll probably try it with on my friends ��.

    The problems I have is (1) I need to toughen up and not feel hurt when I see kids sad and (2) I’m soft-spoken and I don’t believe I’ll be assertive enough.

  • Hi Hapa family, thank you for your great video, naturally I am already doing a lot of stuff I saw in your videos, but there are a lot of things I can change in interaction with my daughter, one can never learn enough. I have a question and I would like to hear you advice. So my daughter is not 1 yet (almost 11 months) and she loves children and pets. However, being. so small, she does not know how to “cuddle” them and instead she hurts them…What would you advice to tell her in this moment? I just want that she is nice and gentle to other children (or animals), obviously she does not “understand” fully when telling her to be gentle..Thank you!

  • I’ve been looking for a good video on positive discipline as soon as I found out this was a thing! And I can bkt wait to start.
    When I was a kid all my mom did was yell and I ways said I never wanted to be like that and my 3 yr old just doesn’t listen but now I understand I need to get on her level and understand why, I felt hurt when my mom would yell and I just never understood ��.
    You definitely just gained a new subscriber and thank you so much for breaking down this for me ��

  • Very interesting video. Well presented and simple to understand/apply. I have a 3 years old and I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant with our second baby. I’ve been watching your baby names videos but had no idea you had gentle parent content as well. Happy I found it, keep those videos coming! ��

  • I never comment on any videos, I just love this so much, your videos are definitely helping me to start positive habits with my 15 month old. Thank you! xx

  • Your video’s are wonderful please keep making them, I adore your parenting methods & apply them with my own 2 year old little boy x

  • Thanks for this. I just stumbled across this video and it was the perfect time. I needed some inspo for helping my 2 & 4 yo girls through their big emotions. I love the line that all feelings are valid, but not all behaviours are permissible.

  • Once my kiddo didn’t want to dress up for preschool and I said to him, do you want to dress yourself or you want to go in your pajama? He looks at me confused for a while, didn’t say nothing and get dressed because that day they were going to outside walk in park and he remembered that �� very very powerful. I was totally ok that he will go in pajama and he saw that.

  • Hi. Im a new follower. Just found your channel & love the idea of gentle parenting. I have an 8 year old & 2 year old. My 8 year old gets angry & upset & i would like to be able to handle it better when he does. Xxx

  • Super interesting. Could you do a video about building your child’s resilience? Learning to be ok with things not going the way they thought/wanted. E.g losing at games etc. Great video! Will check out the other one now!

  • Thank you for this helpful video.
    Do you have any experience or advice on hitting? My usually calm 17 month old daughter has taken to hitting me, our cat and sometimes herself. When I tell her not to, or saying I won’t let her hit us etc, she just has a meltdown! I can’t seem to find a way to stop her or to get her to learn that it’s not acceptable behaviour.
    Any suggestions? Or do you know any resources that may help?
    Thank you! X

  • Hi.. liked your video… Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with tantrums in a 15month old who can’t really understand what we are saying fully. Most posts and books I read are advising after the age of 2. My LO is really throwing tantrums and will usually sob and lie on the floor wherever he is. Even outside. And won’t let me pick him up. And he’s heavy now!

  • I’ve been watching for awhile and now I’m a new subscriber.������ I work in a Womens Shelter and I practice the same positive and gentle methods with the children there with AMAZING results.����⚘ Loving your vlogs/ videos. Thank you for educating us all! Blessings!��

  • I’m a pregnant mama of three girls but I never had to calm them down, they never screamed just because of our connection. They always knew that their identity is known and cherished!

  • Hi SJ, my son is 17 months old and he’s taken to smacking and he laughs and thinks its funny, how would you deal with this? I don’t know what to say as I tell him that hurt mummy and made me sad etc but he just thinks its all hilarious? Worried he will do it to another child when we can go back to playgroups etc? Thanks xx

  • It is really good video but how to discipline a child that has really challenging behavior do to a traumatic experience that happened at early ages….??????

  • This is such an inspiration to me. I can’t wait to put these techniques into practice. My partner feels it’s a “namby-pamby” way and that parents should be firm and authoritative (he’s a little old fashioned, perhaps haha) but I vastly disagree. Do you and your husband have different styles of parenting? X

  • Came here because today we (my 4yr old daughter and myself)had a huge meltdown. She woke up super early and was just not in the mood to do anything. She lost it when i was trying to shower her she wanted cold water and i kept explaining to her the we couldn’t do just cold water, she kept crying and i just lost it. I cried my eyes out, it was so much because she’s been crying the whole week. I often feel like im a lost mom or just a lost human being. ����

  • Daniel Tiger is brilliant. We watch it a lot in our house. When you want to roar count to 4!
    Brilliant video. We’re practicing this with our now 2 year old who is quite headstrong and fiery! ��

  • Thank you so much for these videos I’m getting so much from them! I’m really going to work on the patience thing with my almost 3 year old. I’m struggling at the minute as I have a 3 month old too and it’s hard he has to wait sometimes and it can easily escalate into a tantrum and I feel awful about it but these tips are brilliant! X

  • This is amazing, YOU are amazing! I have a 22 month old and a 5 month old and I really struggle to be patient and empathetic with my toddler when my baby is screaming ��
    I’m definitely not the mum I planned on being, but I’m getting there thank you! x

  • Does this work for older children? My almost 5year old is a very sensitive little girl and often becomes frustrated/overwhelmed and this results in tears. I struggle with how to positively support her without getting frustrated.

  • I love this video, SJ. I’m a teaching assistant (and parent) and there are a few practices here I could definitely use in the classroom.

    I throughly enjoy and value all your gentle parenting content. You should start a podcast tackling different issues/listener questions you’d e excellent. Like a British Janet Lansbury! x

  • Oh SJ another fab video about gentle parenting, really needed these tips and tricks. You need to write a book. You should totally do a positive parenting podcast! I can’t see the name of the book you recommend and the link isn’t working which book is it? X

  • I’m so guilty of yelling. I’m trying to figure out a way to eradicate this from my home. My son does great with positive parenting. Which doesn’t come to me naturally at all. Any tips to keep yourself calm and remember how to deal with situations?

  • Thank you SJ, I found this video so helpful, especially the clear examples.
    We have 3 children 5 and under, and have been following the RIE approach to parenting, your gentle parenting videos compliment RIE beautifully. I can lose my ability to connect rather than correct and parent the way I want to sometimes, especially when I’m tired to navigating through a global pandemic! Do you ever find yourself going off piste with your parenting methods and if so, how do you help yourself regain where you want to be? If that makes sense! X

  • I always love these videos. I’m not a parent but I enjoy gathering this information and learning before I have children. This way, I can implement these techniques immediately! Thanks SJ☺️

  • Omg you’re in Sweden??? I’m Swedish but live in Los Angeles, California! My son is Swedish-American, I’m struggling with keeping up my Swedish…How do you guys do the bilangual part in your family? xoxo

  • Love this!! Thanks so much for sharing your methods, I will be using all of these! My little boy is 1&1/2 has only just started having meltdowns and before this video I was still unsure of how I’m going to handle them when they get really big. Thank you, thank you! ��

  • I’m using this for babysitting �� it’s difficult not being the mom because you did not raise them, and they usually have problems solved by just having mommy there. Learning slowly!

  • Thank you so much for this series… It’s really my favorite on your channel! I check regularly to see if you’ve added to it, so today I was really pleased to see a new video! The way you explain PD is so relatable and your presence is very reassuring. You’re like my virtual mom mentor! Just wondering if you have any tips when the feeling storm goes on for a while. It happens occasionally with my 2 year old son and validating/waiting it out with him doesn’t seem to help. Usually it coincides with being exhausted but it’s really hard to reign it in with him. Thanks again!

  • Honestly if and when I hopefully become a mum, I want to be just like you. You seem like such a gentle and caring mother but I love how you are realistic about motherhood. Gentle parenting isn’t always for everyone and it doesn’t always suit every Child but I would love to practise it as a mothering technique when I older. Your kids are so lucky to have you as there mum and you and Henrik have obviously raised them well as they are super kind and lovely. Love you ❤️❤️

  • Love this blow out the candles technique I will definitely use this. I have two little ones (5 and 2) and I find these tips so helpful. I’ve also made a few videos on my YouTube channel about some techniques that we use for tantrums. So many big emotions for such little ones! �� Thanks for the fab video SJ �� �� Xx

  • Thank you for your gentle parenting content!!! It’s not natural to me, but I’m really working on growing for my girl. She’s almost 2.

  • Hi SJ, I know you have done positive parenting videos for various ages but I wondered if you could do some
    regarding those transitional ages/stages e.g. from toddler to nursery/reception age. Pre-teen to teen etc. Thank you

  • I have twin girls that are 21 months, and we have definitely started in on some big emotions. I love the phrase. “All emotions are valid, but all behaviors are not permissable.”

  • I love these techniques! Will definitely try them when a dance student has a tantrum! Sorry to be cheeky just wondering if you remember where you got your bedside drawers from please? It’s exactly what I’m looking for!:) xx

  • Thank you so much for these tips; i will surely be using these. I have a five month old child, and i wasn’t looking forward to the days that they will get unruly. The tips were clear and simple. Thank you

  • This is true because I will tell my son to brush his teeth and he will not want to, but when he sees me grab my toothbrush, he looks at me and copies me while I brush ��

  • I was raised with belts and beatings. As a 21 year old, growing pass that and looking back I am thankful for it. It has made me respectful and keep me in line as in pertains to authority. This help me in jobs and get a lot of recommendations for my work ethic because you don’t have to tell me twice I listen the first time and I’m not easily distracted.
    That being said my parents were never good at being there to handle my emotions and I was force to deal with that on my own. So I think some of these things can be used to form a balance without me letting go of the beating method. I use a mixed method with my baby cousins. I explain to them what they did wrong. Beat them if they outright disobeyed and put themself in danger. That’s important to me. I have seen a lot of kids die over the years from drowning,serious burn and even falling over railings. Not because it was a freak accident (those are different) they just didn’t listen when the parents said stay close to the shore, don’t go into the kitchen, don’t touch that. It’s not as rare anymore and when it comes to that I rather beat my child and have them listen the first time…then to speak to them over and over and their curiosity lands them in the hospital. Just last week my neighbor’ kid finger got entangled in a exercise bike chain. He turned it on even though she warned him…he wait till she was out the room and now he lost two fingers. That’s not okay. You can’t protect your child from everything because you won’t always be there to do so. They might not understand the danger but they will understand if I touch this, I will get beaten and that hurts so I will play with something else.

  • I so so so much appreciate that you acknowledge some parents have a hard time handling emotional meltdowns. I don’t but my partner does. We have a 15 month old girl and we’re learning every day. Your videos are so helpful.

  • I saw a video where you mentioned the Montessori course you took where you learned everything and I don’t remember what course or even the video you mentioned it. If you wouldn’t mind commenting back I’ve been wanting to take that course!

  • I know this is an older video and I don’t know if you will see this comment but with the 2 choices I am having trouble getting my 4 year old to pick one. Sge just says “I don’t know” and gets upset as if she’s overwhelmed then when I default she looses her mind and throws an hour long tantrum.

  • Thank you so much you are great helping me alot can you do more videos about toodler 3 y old like what to except them to do, what they development expectation

  • Have you ever read Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus? I’m a teacher and use it sometimes to help children understand why I sometimes have to say ‘no’ and also help them understand their stages of getting to a meltdown. It’s also very funny which helps! They have to respond to the book by saying ‘No’ every time the pigeon asks to drive the bus. He goes through 5 stages which are evident in the pictures. So you can talk like ‘are you at a 3 right now? Let’s try and work back to a 2’ and so on.

  • Brilliant as always. There is something funny that happened to me with my kids when I was using the strategy of two choices. Not long after they started using this strategy on me, something like “Mom, you have two choices -or you are going to by us this toy or you are going to buy an ice cream “.Hilarious…

  • Hi dr., When we give them 2 choices as in either get in the car seat yourself or i can help u in, (in our case a stroller, not car seat)… Our kid starts to yell and cry that she wants dad to carry her the whole way to the bus stop. Bcz she doesn’t want to sit in the stroller. How do we handle this? Should we ignore her crying and put her in the stroller?If we do that, she will keep crying for atleast half an hour i guess.

  • Hey Dr. Paul… I love your videos, they have been so helpful to me. One of the issues that I continue to have with my 6 year old is following simple directions… more like daily responsibilities. I’m very aware that my responses sometimes have been an issue, which your videos have helped me out soooo much in how I show up for these situations. My problems come in that I’m finding it hard to discipline my child in an effective way because he is so laid back, naturally helpful, and loves chores face palm Can you direct me to one of your videos that talks about this?

  • the 2 options is the best advice I ever got as a parent. I have an autistic boy and a very strong willed boy. They sooo diferwnt but the 2 options works everytime for both of them. I feel like a super mom every tine! Thank you so muchhh for that tip

  • Could you do more videos on preschool age children? I feel like I need to repair my relationship with my preschool age daughter she is 4 in February. After suffering from post natal depression and having another child before she was 2 I feel like I have lost my temper and even yelled at her way more than I have wanted. I feel terrible and i just want to repair my relationship with her to be a better parent.

  • It is very interesting that nobody said anything about how the children are going to know or learn about consequences. Because once they go out in real world without our protection even if we have a parent and children connection is going to be horrible for them. I also didnt hear any teaching about respectful to others.
    I have seen so many parents telling to their kids ” say sorry” after their kids bit, hit, spit, or even kicking other children without even talk to them about the gravity of what they did. I just smile and turn around and tell myself, not wonder why there are so many killings at schools because of bullies.
    Connection is extremely important for parents but respect for others is even more important.

  • When I face a challenge in parenting and I am struggling to think of an appropriate response I come to your videos to help jog my memory of what would Dr. Paul and Vicki do.

    Thank you!

  • Hi thanks for sharing. Could you give some examples of positive things to say to your kids when you want to avoid the whole good job thing??

  • Thank you so much! The series is helping me be a much better mom, I was feeling lost and guilty about the relationship between my preschooler and myself. I’ve been trying to practice these tips and I already saw results! Thank you again to all the contributors on this channel ����

  • Excellent video. Great refreshers here. Thank you both.

    Stay calm and parent on is fantastic. But my favorite one from you is “Your job is to love them no matter what, and even if..” I’m often chanting that in my head… ‘no matter what, and even if.’ ��