The Reason Why You Should not Overindulge Your Son Or Daughter

 

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Researchers at the Overindulgence Project have identified three types of overindulgence: Giving too much. Whether it’s too many toys, too many activities, or too many electronics, giving a child too much can Over-nurturing. Parents who do too much for their children prevent them from learning the. Activities Your Child Can Delve Into!

By Jenny Wise, Guest Blogger for ParentTalk; 12 Reasons Why You Do Not Want To Overindulge Your Child By Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson, and David Bredehoft; Parents Which Wolf Are You Feeding? The Evil One or The Good One? By David Bredehoft; Mom, Dad Are You Ready to Pony Up $1,000 For Your Child. Helping your child become a valuable member of society. By giving your children opportunities to help and serve each other within the family, you’re preparing them to take care of themselves and go out and serve society.

Now that I’ve asked you not to overindulge your kids with their wants, I want to encourage you to overindulge them with. It comes from a good heart-a parent wanting to do the best for his or her child. It can harm kids by setting them up to fail and can cause pain. It’s not just about too many toys or too many privileges-it can also be too much attention and too few boundaries. Activities Your Child Can Delve Into!

By Jenny Wise, Guest Blogger for ParentTalk; 12 Reasons Why You Do Not Want To Overindulge Your Child By Jean Illsley Clarke, Connie Dawson, and David Bredehoft; Parents Which Wolf Are You Feeding? The Evil One or The Good One? By David Bredehoft; Mom, Dad Are You Ready to Pony Up $1,000 For Your Child.

That’s what you’re trying to train your children to do. They shouldn’t be like the nation of Israel that walked by sight and not by faith. Kristen: Right; and I think, for our family, we hold firmly to a passage of Scripture that is incredibly important in our family—it’s 1 John 2: 15-17. While you shouldn’t ever limit the amount of love you give your children, you do need to watch the ways you express that love. If your love leads you to overprotect, overindulge.

For example, if your child suddenly has unlimited access to sweets, stays up all night, and sleeps all day, you’re going to see more meltdowns, moodiness, and bullying. Loss of structure during. Waarom u u kind nie te veel moet oordink nie Deur Amy Morin, LCSW Opgedateer op 5 Augustus 2019 Joey Boylan / E + / Getty Images Meer in dissipline. style; strategieë; Dit kan lekker wees om geskenke vir kinders te koop.

Parents shouldn’t overindulge any child, it gives a sense of entitlement and leads to “spoiling”. Indulging a child is fine, paying attention to a child’s medical needs is fine. Teaching them they can have/get away with anything is not.

List of related literature:

Because toddlers are inquisitive and curious about their environment, they are prone to accidents that can cause injury to the child.

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Parents should be interviewed regarding the child’s behaviour, especially in relation to scratching, irritability, and sleeping patterns.

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Because of the persistent belief that babies become overstimulated and overtired with too much activity and social contact, parents are often told to stay at home and to get into a better routine if their baby is unsettled.

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Some parents feel anxious, responsible, or helpless when their baby is fussy, and that is unnecessary.

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Avoid allowing the infant to sleep in a prone position, overheating the infant, or letting the infant sleep with another person; provide a firm sleeping surface; allow no loose blankets, pillows, or stuffed toys in the infant’s bed; avoid smoking during or after

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Infants are easily startled by loud noises and attracted to pleasant sounds (such as a warm conversation between mom and dad).

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Infants acquire a sense of trust as they learn the feel, sound, and smell of their parents.

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Some parents are overly anxious or overly attentive or, at the other extreme, may not give the infant the attention he or she needs.

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Parents should be instructed to allow supervised tummy time when the infant is awake and should be cautioned about the

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Parents need reassurance that such behavior is healthy, desirable, and necessary for the child’s optimum emotional development.

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Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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49 comments

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  • Hi Doc, I’m at my breaking point and just googled or youtubed how to get your child to obey and came across your channel and after watching half way through this video I confirm I was raised all screwed up and I feel damaged and there’s just so much frustration and I don’t want to carry that cycle onto my kids, any chance you may help, I can’t take it another day more.

  • I’m wondering if it is the same in weight for a mom always feeling too skinny and weak looking? I’m always fighting to eat more and to add things in that will gain for me and I am constantly sad or whatever if I see myself because of how small I have gotten! I am wondering if that is why my girls are eating so much and getting big? I see here that the I’m in a dirt thing isnt great to do so I assume the same with being upset about being too skinny! I always corrected everyone growing up and as a young adult saying practice makes better! They would say what so I’d say it again and explain it keep pray ticking and you get better at it every time you try! Also the be careful I’m a broken record with my kids be careful be careful and no dont do that! Although I am already at them trying to protect them from getting hurt as I say it I dont just tell them from across the yard if I’m worried about something bad then I’m in top of my kid to save or protect them or at the very least to help them if they do almost get hurt! Thank you for these videos they have already been of help for our home I am grateful

  • haha I was always conscious of saying “be careful” I always felt like it was a little overprotective, I’ll definitely do the spotting next time and keep quiet:) thanks doc.

  • Hello, I want to teach my daughter mindful eating, I am having difficulties because she sneaks food without me noticing. Also, how can I teach my two kids not to lie and do things behind my back. I have a 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I read social stories and talk to them about the importance of honesty. They are just unmotivated sometimes and they get excited at the moment for their reward then get bored or unmotivated again. I just have some expectations that are not met, I try to give them choices and be as flexible as possible, but I just feel like I failed. I still have hope to be a better mom. I go to school, cook, clean and take the kids to school, pick them up and do everything, sometimes it feels impossible to have patience. I want to work on myself to improve my relationship with my kids and help them become responsible, honest, hardworking and kind adults.

  • nice video, is # 6 reminds from Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad… “How can we afford that” instead of “We can’t afford that”/

  • When I was young, my mom told me not to talk to strangers. Then one day I was talking to a man that we both didn’t know. Later she told me “I told you not to talk to strangers.” I replied with “he’s not a stranger, he’s just a man.” Lol

    Thanks for the tips. I could definitely use improvement!

  • I have two teenager kids they don’t take their online classes don’t give time to studies they don’t listen to me at all how do I persuade them for studying

  • Wow Im doing a lot of things wrong!! Thank you for this video. I’ve been so saddened lately, I want to be a better Mom and make my kids feels secure. I will be watching more! Thank you for this:)

  • One time I wanted to be a stripper I never told my mom or dad they taught it was a bad job I think they might disown me if I tell rhem

  • OMG that “dont talk to strangers” approach was the best one.You see thats my constant anxiety the moment i became a father,what happens if my kid gets lost, what am i supposed to teach him if she finds herself in a situation like this!!!Thanks Mr Jenkins

  • These are some great points. What we say can simply shift our children’s whole mindset. I touch base on this topic as well. Check it Out!
    https://youtu.be/Bcl2vE1er_U

  • Omg this is a little ridiculous… We are going to raise a bunch of entitled brats. If I asked my parents to talk to me like this when I was a kid, they would have said.. You need to grow up and stop whining!!!

  • My mom, aunt and uncles whenever i wasn’t in the honor roll they always said ‘what did you do at school this semester that you weren’t able to be one of the honor students?’ And they said that they weren’t dragging me down by saying it instead they were motivating me but i feel so bad whenever they said that to the point i always blame myself even i already did my best. I feel sad for myself.

  • My twin brother can’t talk and I always upset because they don’t understand what are they doing and they always broke everything in our house like tv, electric fan, fridge, broke glass cabinet until pieces and always jump on sofa,chair,short wood cabinet and table.And they always call everyone that they’re met……………mommy.��☺️

    There are more things that you don’t have to know.��

  • Hey, great job on this video. Let me help you with this advice: For your next video, just remember that to make it better, practice makes perfect. But don’t worry. You’re okay. Just be careful when you talk to strangers.

  • I think that your ways are to soft and wrong for instance when you compare a kid whit another kid they will try to be better than the other kid

  • Me: I wish my life was better
    Other people: you should be grateful with ur parents!!
    My parents: Does everything that the video says not to

  • My Mom:
    You don’t want THAT! Her favorite when she doesn’t want me to have something!
    Practice makes perfect
    Hurry up
    We can’t afford that
    If you want that you better work hard! You will have to make your own money!
    Oh, that’s just a STORY! She loved to use that one when I learned it from someone she didn’t know well.
    Well, some people may do that but WE don’t!

  • Absolutely love your advices! You and your wife are such caring people:) Wishing all mom’s and dad’s an amazing time���������� Learning how to deal with the most important people in our lives feels like heaven! Keep up your amazing work ��

  • Toddlers are good and fast learners. My 3 years old son shouts exactly the way I shout on him because sometime I cant hold my self after trying several times politely to make him understand to not to do something… Such a looser I’m:(

  • PLEASE never EVER call your child stupid, worthless or good for nothing or anything insulting like that!!

    I grew up constantly being berated by a very strict Father who was cruel. Our Dad had a very strict father who didn’t show him any love or affection. So our Dad was an total emotional cripple.
    He didn’t know how to love, communicate or be affectionate or loving. He did learn eventually, but it was when he was an old man & it was too late by then.

    Our Father had desperately wanted sons, but he ended up with 3 daughters instead. Well, we were never allowed to forget what a bitter & huge disappointment we all were. Our whole childhood, all we heard from him was
    • You’re just useless girls.
    • You’re lazy.
    • You’re stupid.
    • You’re good for nothing.
    • You girls are stupid & worthless.
    • Why weren’t you boys.

    Hearing this my whole life was soul destroying.
    I grew up with no self esteem, no self worth, no confidence. I truly believed I was stupid, I believed everything he shouted at us girls. We learnt to apologise constantly and for everything. “Sorry Dad for being a girl, sorry Dad for disappointing you, sorry for not doing it properly, sorry for everything”.
    Until this day, I still over apologise for absolutely everything in life. I even apologise for things that are completely not my fault. Then I apologise for apologising.

    So when I had a child A Son, (who naturally finally pleased my Dad!!)
    I praised my Son for everything. The closest I ever came to saying the dreaded word “stupid”, was when my Son did something a bit dangerous one day & I accidentally said to him ” that was a stupid thing to do” & I immediately saw the hurt in his eyes that I had caused & obviously I profusely apologised. The hurt on my son’s face killed me that day & I wondered how on earth MY father could ever continuously say those horrible things to us.

  • I disagree with the part of don’t talk to strangers people may have a degree in a certain area but it doesn’t mean that they are right. Because there are cases where a person who may seem like a police officer or a store clerk, that turn out to be a kidnapper that is just one example so I disagree with the part of telling children don’t speak to strangers. However I don’t use that particular phrase but what I do tell him is that not everyone is nice so becareful with who you speak to. Now behavioral things on this Earth for a lot of studies in institutions are based on science but we need to mostly focus on God and the fact that when we connect with his spirit we get that instinct within us to know if someone’s spirit is good or bad.

  • Please post more videos like this. This video was very helpful and I appreciate it. Mom of an almost 8 year old. The hardest part is getting him to sit down, focus and understand and do his homework.

  • Omg your damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you listen to everything you guys tell us how to talk to our kids. They will all be locked up. I have raised two very successful children on my own. And there well balanced and I have used all those phrases. Every child is different with alternative needs. My motto as a mother. Speak and talk to your child how you think fits there understanding and interests

  • Very nice video, and very helpful. Although it might be wise, for the reasons mentioned in the interesting video, to find a possible, alternative expression instead of saying to a child “great job” after he/she comes back home with a good grade (Btw… how old is the child? that makes a difference) still emphasizing with the child’s feelings might be very important. There is a way to emphasize with the child WITHOUT making her/him dependent on the parents’ approval or affirmation. This, because although it is very true children should not depend on parents’ approval/affirmation, still they need parents to share their own feelings, specifically when they come back home with a good grade. It is very wise to help children to explore their own feelings, asking them “how do you feel about that?”. Still, ending with a “wonderful”, after the child’s response/exploration of his/her own feelings, might be a valid addition to what the speaker wisely mentioned. That means emphasizing the (hopefully positive) feelings of the child regarding the good grade, creating a SHARED emotional, positive space between the parent and the child, WITHOUT stressing approval/affirmation, implicit instead in that more common and too simplistic “great job”.

  • “We can’t afford that” I Always hear that.

    I needed $16 to repair my phone We can’t afford that
    I needed A PC for online school We can’t afford that
    I needed $1 to live We can’t afford that just die OK
    (edit I forgot to mention they tell me to save money but they steal it ALL THE TIMES to the point where I just spend every money that I have just so they won’t be able to steal it

  • My brother kid age three is out of control. When she demand something n if u try to take it away or stop them from doing. They scream n make life unbearable. She stop house work or some normal daily stuff. We have to give her attention n everything or she will make huge mess.
    How to teach this needy kid to stop this behaviour

  • U ever notice how kids are incredibly worst than ever?its because of people like this guy I watched the first minute of this and realized the problem with the kids around me,are parents like this.

  • This is only for people who are mature and already know the basics of never saying “you are…”, comparing them w people, etc etc.. I hope everyone can get those basics down then grow and work on these too!!! Thanks for your awesome videos!!

  • I would’ve KILLED for a “great job” on my report card. Instead I’d get “You need to do better. You’re supposed to get all A’s. Pay attention to the teacher.”

    Keep in mind I DID get all A’s…except in math, because even if the answers were all correct, not finishing a timed test was worse than filling in all random answers. Curse my desire to actually do the tests, I suppose. -_-

  • On number 6. How do I explain finances to a 4 year old, I’ve always tried to engage him in grocery shopping but is now starting to fuss and demand extra toys and/or candy we can’t afford. How do I make him understand?

  • This reminds me of how lucky I am to have had a patient, devoted, compassionate, highly intelligent woman bring me into the world and raise me. She cared enough to independently study parenting best practices and infant development, saving for her kids’ college before she was even married. As a single mother later on, she persevered against debilitating circumstances where many would have truly given up. She was not perfect, but she was extraordinary, and the most brilliant human being I ever knew, to this day. God love and help us all to be the best we can for our children. ��

  • I think my mother doesn’t believe me when I say I hate myself, because if I say that I hate myself or I say I feel so depressed, she will just say “Good!” Or “we all are!” It makes me feel alone and like I shouldn’t tell anyone because they’d say the same thing.. It also makes me more depressed than ever..

  • Gsus! I bet this guy has no children or never spends time with them. Somebody defined a business consultant like this: ”99 ways of making love but no woman.”

  • I definitely had to subscribe, you speak so much sense. Especially reading through the comments, they got me laughing really hard particularly the ones watching to know how to treat their husbands, lol

  • Yep I have a 3 year old and these are all great to put into practice, I’ve used all these phrases and I would love to use this advice and change things up. It’s all about perspective, I don’t think it would make kids too soft, in fact, if anything it will help them to be more independent, think for themselves, be treated with more respect, and teach them important life skills, thanks for the reminder that our words can be more constructive and less passive ��

  • I never said to my kids kids good job and all this even when they were little I always felt the risk of making them dependent on me. However now that they are 11&14 they tell me I am not a very encouraging person. I think deep inside of them they want to be our heroes. I am sure there is a balance more towards being excited for their achievements but I am not there yet.

  • my mom would always talk about how fat she thought she was and how she always needed to lose weight. she was probably in the 140s-150s not even that bad.. but i remember being so afraid of being fat all my life and i became anorexic in highschool.. im recovered now but being overweight is still a big fear of mine. i dont mean to put all the blame on her but i know its had an impact to some degree

  • HI im 8 years old

    999999999999999999999999999999.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 % are kids or 100%

    Like and reply if you are a kid

    i am a kid

  • A comet for a children for getting a good grade on the report card like an a my comment would be I see you got an A on your report card I’m very proud of you I always get a response on that they’re very happy!

  • I dont agree with this. I’m not a word kind of parent. I like to have long conversations with my kids and break stuff down and show them all aspects to life..You can say practice makes perfect to strive your kid to do their best. as long as you get out their and practice with them. Are kids mean the world to us, we want the BEST for them. should I not say I want the BEST for them, should I say I want the mediocre for them because more than likely they will just be mediocre.You out of your kids what you put into them.

  • I was waiting to hear where this guy lives…on the corner of marshmallow Rd and bubble gum trail…. baby your kids like this guy says and your in for trouble.

  • We just always should value our child’s, they are like our best friends, they have their own life, they are independent, we are a TRUE BEST FRIEND of them who will lift them up and make them successful, just like see, for example you TRUE friend will always love you just as who you are, will Always comfort you, will always be happy for you, will always have a lot of interests on you, and lift you up, will always encourage to ve independent and to create your own life, so A mother is a child’s TRUE best friend just like that..
    a child understands a lot, we always Should say everything to them, like, a mother is a child’s best friend and a child is also a mother’s best friend, it’s like we are cooperating and sharing our lives and ideas…
    a mother, a child
    two different persons,
    cooperates each other
    shares ideas..
    etc, just like a TRUE FRIEND….
    we should always make our child our best friend ❤️

  • When you don’t get something your parents get and you ask them why, they shouldn’t say because I’m special that makes the child feel like they’re not special. I don’t know what they should say but if a child asks why you get chips and they don’t you never say because I’m special!

  • #2 is correct when my mom says that…….. i expect getting scolded at home…….. sometimes after getting scolded at,I sometimes try packing my things up and plan an escape l,_l

  • I really get tired of people that beat up on their parents, my parents weren’t perfect, but they taught me to think for myself, work hard and be independent, and my dad taught me to trust my instincts, thanks mom and dad ♥️

  • My mama never cared about me�� so I know no�� one cares about me, I’ve been depressed sense my best friend moved�� from school�� and my mama was happy about that happening, and she thinks that I’m depressed because of looking at screens,that isint the reason, the reason is cuz my best friend moved from school�� and I miss her, I’ve always been neglected�� and whenever I try say something like�� “You like�� my sister more than me” she just says I’m lying�� when I’m not at all I’m just trying to say how I feel��. I also think if anyone sees his comments no one will care it’s not like anyone cares about me in real life������

  • 100% right. No parents can teach their child dicipline by beating them like crazy instead the child will literally get more and more stubborn.

  • I think this makes sense. There are other ways to discipline a child. You can ground them for 1 month, and if they are that bad, maybe even a year. Putting your hands on your child just causes PTSD for a child and makes them hate their parents.