The Initial Struggles and Benefits Older Parents Face

 

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The Unique Struggles and Benefits Older Parents Face Financial Security. The first is financial security. Older parents who’ve waited to have children have probably spent More Time to Spend With the Kids. With financial security can come more time to spend with the kids. Those countless A.

The March of Dimes states pregnant women over the age of 35 could face potentially dangerous complications, such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia and high blood pressure. There are also many. Change happens out of struggle and in moments of accepting responsibility for our actions.” Watching my child struggle without stepping in to fix things for him was one of the hardest parenting challenges I’ve personally experienced as a mom, even though I knew it was the best thing for him.

Parents face many challenges. When an aging parent develops dementia, it is easy for a long time companion to take advantage of the confusion that exists. The family trust will have a successor trustee appointed on it. If that.

Family commitments can also suffer when parents juggle classes and homework with their children’s school events, medical appointments and sports. Add responsibilities for elderly parents. Death, divorce, and separation rob parents of the joys of companionship and sharing of responsibilities. Here are a few single parenting issues and single parent’s struggles along with some single parenting tips and solutions to single parenting.

1. Loneliness. You have to deal with the loss of a partner and the gap they left in your life. As we get older, so do our parents and other loved ones.

Difficult as it is to consider, they may one day need our help just as we once needed theirs. The Rumor: Children should always care for. Most aging parents know just the right buttons to push to get you going. Some, enjoy the family drama.

Many seniors act out, create drama, push buttons so, that, you the adult child and family caregiver will back off. This does lead to crisis management in the future. This throws off the parent-child dynamic, and you know that kids, especially teens, are going to use this to their advantage. With regards to school, parents often feel disappointed to see their children struggling to keep up in class, and many parents report bullying and discrimination as a result of cultural differences. As parents get older, attempts to hold on to our independence can be at odds with even the most well-intentioned “suggestions” from our children.

We want to be cared about, but fear being cared.

List of related literature:

Yet although the potential for this phenomenon has increased greatly because more parents are living into old age, the experience of caring for dependent parents and children simultaneously is not typical (Martin-Matthews and Rosenthal, 1993).

“Family Ties and Aging” by Ingrid Arnet Connidis, SAGE.
from Family Ties and Aging
by Ingrid Arnet Connidis, SAGE.
SAGE Publications, 2001

Childless older adults are now more likely to live on their own or in institutions, as compared with parents who are more likely to live with spouses or children.61 If they live at home, they are more likely to use home-help services.

“How to Be Childless: A History and Philosophy of Life Without Children” by Rachel Chrastil
from How to Be Childless: A History and Philosophy of Life Without Children
by Rachel Chrastil
Oxford University Press, Incorporated, 2019

Younger mothers appear to benefit the most, whereas older adolescents seek more autonomy in the decisions that they make as parents.

“The Development of Romantic Relationships in Adolescence” by Wyndol Furman, B. Bradford Brown, Candice Feiring, Willard W. Hartup, Carolyn Shantz, Nancy Eisenberg, Robert Emde, Lois Hoffman, Eleanor E. Maccoby, Franz J. Monks, Ross Parke, Michael Rutter, Carolyn Zahn-Waxler
from The Development of Romantic Relationships in Adolescence
by Wyndol Furman, B. Bradford Brown, et. al.
Cambridge University Press, 1999

These social changes have led to a decreased ability to care for older parents at home.

“Health Care and Public Policy: An Australian Analysis” by George R. Palmer, Stephanie D. Short
from Health Care and Public Policy: An Australian Analysis
by George R. Palmer, Stephanie D. Short
Macmillan Education Australia, 2000

Even within families who moved from larger cities to smaller ones, the younger child who spent more years in a smaller metropolitan area tends to have greater upward income mobility than the older child who spent more years in a larger metropolitan area (Chetty and Hendren 2018).

“Handbook of Population” by Dudley L. Poston Jr.
from Handbook of Population
by Dudley L. Poston Jr.
Springer International Publishing, 2019

Older parents, on the other hand, improved the odds of being recipients of support with each additional adult child.

“Aging, Society, and the Life Course” by Leslie A. Morgan, PhD, Suzanne R. Kunkel, PhD
from Aging, Society, and the Life Course
by Leslie A. Morgan, PhD, Suzanne R. Kunkel, PhD
Springer Publishing Company, 2011

With increasing life expectancy, higher costs of living, and inadequate Social Security and pensions, we can assume that the responsibility of caring for an elderly parent, for a large percentage of families, will ultimately fall on an adult child.

“Current Controversies on Family Violence” by Donileen R. Loseke, Richard J. Gelles, Mary M. Cavanaugh
from Current Controversies on Family Violence
by Donileen R. Loseke, Richard J. Gelles, Mary M. Cavanaugh
SAGE Publications, 2005

Young adults and the elderly tend to live as independent households more Often than they did a few decades ago, and the rise in the divorce rate has resulted in more single-parent families.

“The Canadian Encyclopedia” by James H. Marsh
from The Canadian Encyclopedia
by James H. Marsh
McClelland & Stewart, 1999

Similarly, while adult children still receive care from parents in various forms, they may also take on a new role as a provider of secure-base support for their parents as they grow old, or in late life.

“Handbook of Life-Span Development” by Lawerence K.W. Berg, PhD, Esq., Karen L. Fingerman, PhD, Toni C. Antonucci, PhD, Jacqui Smith, PhD, Cynthia Berg, PhD
from Handbook of Life-Span Development
by Lawerence K.W. Berg, PhD, Esq., Karen L. Fingerman, PhD, et. al.
Springer Publishing Company, 2010

Similarly, some characteristics of ‘‘young unwed fathers’’ may reflect the influence of economic deprivation on family obligations, rather than the direct effect of paternal immaturity (Speak, Cameron, & Gilroy, 1997).

“The Role of the Father in Child Development” by Michael E. Lamb
from The Role of the Father in Child Development
by Michael E. Lamb
Wiley, 2010

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • Well apart from other things this story should also have covered the situation that how this 16yr old girl was pregnant and how can her mother was so much Oky with it. Being pregnant at that age is also a life threatening condition. How can she be so cool with it. And how come this documentary didn’t paid attention to it. Both the condition were worse.

  • Help me i’m so stressed out live with my toxic lil brother and dad. My dad always let him to do anything he wants even that’s wrong, and i cant escape from this situation, it kills me slowly. It’s enough to live at hell for years.

  • I have APS. It did not turn out so well for me. Lost my daughter at 29 weeks. Had 2 other children but was on very strong blood thinners. So happy for her that it was caught before she had worse things happen.

  • it’s really an unfortunate thing to be in a country where you can’t be cured because of lack of resources and unless you have the money to save your life. My cousin went through eclampsia, the baby was saved (premature) but my cousin is in coma from day 1 of having emergency CS because of eclampsia. Until now, she is alive still in coma and does not give any response. So she never had a chance to even hold her baby girl. ������

  • I can’t move out yet cuz I’m still a college student. But if i can then I will. I’m tired understanding their toxic mind-set. I have this sister who’ve hurt me physically just because I correct her wrong behavior and the worse thing is my grandmother and uncle got angry at me and they scold me. My mom wants me to say sorry but I don’t get it, why would I say sorry if I’ve done nothing wrong. My sister hurt me and i didn’t hurt her as a payback, but why do they see it that I’m the one who did wrong? And after a month she said sorry to me through text but i didn’t accept it cuz why would a person say sorry in a text? It’s not genuine and after two days she’s acting mad again. If she really wants my forgiveness why would she act in a way that will make me mad again? Argh! She really frustrates me. And you shouldn’t expect that a person will forgive you just because you said sorry.

  • Wow that man is 40 now. How time flies. When I was younger I wondered how people could live up to their 40s, 50s, 60s. Doesn’t it get boring? Lol.

  • I’m 12, Almost thirteen. And all baby faces will understand the “try to look your age” stuff. And I HATE when we are at restaurants. And the waiter says kids menu? My dad says YES cause he thinks it’s funny. ��

  • I felt like i need my family. As sort of an anchor, but everytime i deal with my brother he finds an opportunity to betray me. I think he’s jealous of me. I never say or do anything to stress him. I got to a point that hes affecting my self confidence. I cut him off but dont feel any better, because now were all divided. It seems like my mother enjoys hearing the frustration, but doesn’t say anything. Im surrounded by succubuses, energy vampires. It seems like they’re intention is character assasination. I need to step away. Im 45, but it seems he thinks hes still allowed to bully.

  • I have a dilemma right now… My older brothers are sooo toxic. Because of pandemic, we are all in our mother’s house,we’re a broken family tho. We grew up separately but we meet up occasionally when there’s family events like birthdays or christmas. They both hate our mother so bad and no one is trying to speak up with them. I tried a little bit and I can sense that I’m also becoming the target too.

    One of my older brother’s partner is also a narc. She’s two faced because when my bro is off work and alone with us with my nephew, she has a confident aura without respecting personal boundaries and not doing housework. But when bro’ s in the house she’s acting nice and hardworking and always play the victim. I can read that she also uses my nephew to get what she wants urgh ��

    All in all their are 3 Narcs in our house right now and I feel I want to vomit �� Its also hard ‘coz I can’ t cut them off…

  • I have too much toxic family
    My parents destroyed my childhood and feeling emotion
    They manipulate me very much
    They always take my happiness from me
    And my siblings also help them
    I am least priority in this family
    They tortured me very much
    Problem is that when I tell this matter to anyone people also make fun of me and don’t give sympathy and support
    I feel very lonely
    Every time they do something that all my friends and relatives left me alone

  • My whole family is toxic and yet I still live under their roof because I still haven’t graduated college. I need to be free and out from their lives.

  • Whoever is reading this, I’m your girl for advice, spill the beans if you want to, we don’t know each other so……? What’s wrong?

  • My mom till this day she keeps telling me negative, insulting stuff that makes me sad and down to the point that all i want is to cry and feel not loved by her.

    I have step brother and sister and so from my point of view since they were born she put them 1st, laugh with them,joke around with them, buys them stuff and not STRICT on them. But when shes around me its not like that at all. Maybe when shes looks at me she sees my dad and hate me for it.
    My mom has done lots of things to me even hitting on me, suddenly pulling my hair inside the car just because i answered her back while we were arguing about something. Funny thing is she never admit she did so. She just care about herself, talk about herself, she dont like me wearing or using her stuff. Even shopping with her is like shopping with a sgranger.
    Sometimes I just envy my step siblings

  • How to remove toxic people when it’s you’re mom even tho it hurts im really tired. I cannot leave the house im a minor and now we have pandemic I can’t im so drain��������

  • Your better off cutting ties with everyone that shares the same last name as you. Blood family is toxic. They will always be the most toxic, manipulative, selfish people you’ll interact with. You cant choose the family your born into, But you can choose your real family. Family is not blood. Its Bond.

  • I know the fact that my mother loves me a lot. But the thing is if things don’t work the way she wants she starts abusing and comparing me with the neighbors children. It’s ok because most of the women do that to vent out their emotions. But in my case it is going up a little bit. My mother has Vitamin D deficiency and low BP too so, my maternal side blame me for her condition. I just passed 12th and percentage is not goodm So I am very afraid that if I don’t get a regular college how will be I able to tackle this situation.

  • Some of my Family Members try to control me but speaking about thing s that aren’t true to manipulate me. I just want to move away it this point:(

  • this woman seems to be very angry at children raised by older parents.

    Could it be she was actually jealous of her younger sister, who obviously had a more privileged childhood than her? (taking a stab in the dark…I have no idea why she is so passionate and angry with these women ��)

  • This quarantine has been hell on earth for me! Stuck with these awful entities 24/7. I contemplated even killing myself just anything to get away from them. They force me to stay in the house and completely destroying any good energy I manage to build up. They love embarrassing me and shaming me, and yelling for no reason and I hope that they receive all the shit they put me through but 10x worse.

  • It’s hard to avoid toxic siblings, when you live with them. I think most of my problems are due to my older sister. No matter what I say, it’s not valid.

  • I admire the analogy you made with the poison ivy. However I feel like I touch the poison ivy, clean it and recover, and then go back. It’s a cycle.

  • Its worse when you have a child-like voice. Im 20 and people still think im 12. At least I can eat of the kids menu and get a meal with dessert and drink for cheap

  • My mother lives in a victimhood, my both brothers regularly fighting with my mother, they break remotes, cups, chairs, shout, daily… They don’t relax for more than 1 hr…
    I m dropper and preparing for exam, I m continuesly failing from 4 years now.. Now I want to kill my self and I can not go out, I m not able to study… Its too much now.. And my father is narcissist who continuesly blames my mother and us.
    That we are failures, we are just for money..
    I am just going to end this.
    I can’t live more
    Sorry god.

  • It’s hard for me but my family is toxic and I want to leave but I don’t know why I still want to stay i hate my family they never give me a break I even said I have depression they don’t care I feel like im useless games are my happiness but my family takes it away I feel the world is unfair I just want to be alone with my games if I can just do it but my family controls me way too much

    Thank you for listening how I feel

  • I used to wonder why some people choose to live out in the boonies in the middle of nowhere and not talk to people. Now as an adult I understand

  • I cut my brother off because he has a very narcissistic attitude & a sociopath. He’s very strange and constantly wants his way (which I don’t understand). Even when I’m talking to someone about a certain subject he gets upset and wants his way. I cut him off completely and I just moved on with my life. He has internal problems he has to deal with I know nothing about. We had our last fall out because I wouldn’t tell him how much I paid to have my sink fixed ����‍♂️ (yes this is true). I feel a lot more better than I’ve felt in a while.

  • Having hard time dealing with my uncle his so you should do this do that do the chores even is not paying the bills in the house he is just like an empty can making all the noises sometimes he makes us feel we are the problem but in reality we are the ones who is helping my other uncle paying the bills in the house

  • I have a lot of toxic family members they take a lot of advantage cause I’m a part time worker and college. It’s best to avoid them.

  • I had a baby face and everyone underestimated my age until I got piercings and tattoos and dyed hair now people actually get it right ��

  • My nickname is (Miguel), im 13 years old, my brother is toxic, my sister and my other big brother doesnt even talk to my toxic brother, and i thought, “im not going to help my toxic brother, even if he begs to me, ill only help my big brother and my sister and my mother”…

    I just want to live a happy life with my family but this “toxic idiot brother” keeps getting in the way.

    Just please, end this.

  • I’m having to deal with them whilst in lockdown, having no friends (support system) and no job is tough but i keep praying for positive change!

  • Doing things like removing yourself from the environment, preventing, distancing yourself from future potential toxicity is looked down as THE MOST selfish thing by my parents/siblings. So, when I stay quite with an intention to keep the situation neutral they still see it as something negative… I swear I just dont know what to do coz they have this POV that I’m this disobedient child who’s always sensitive when they dont even look at the way they treat me ya know… Sometimes all I want to hear them say is “I’m sorry”… I’m just waiting to get out the house.. I pray it happens soon. I pray.

  • I have a family member I no longer speak with because of their toxic and abusive behavior, but now I am no longer in touch with my young nieces because I decided not to associate with this family member anymore…�� which is very unfortunate.

  • Thank you for this. I’m living with my husband and his in-laws. It’s been two years and I’ve been having more and more bad interactions with my dad-in-law. He’s an uncensored Archie Bunker and recently said some homophobic stuff towards what I bought my hubby (that hubby wanted) that made me super angry. I want to move, but was pressured into signing the lease renewal for another year. Hubby and I are definitely moving next year, but I’m going to try to use your suggestions to survive until next August.

  • Can you explain “toxic” people? What about those who are trying to change? Who have trauma and who hate the way they react or respond. Practice makes perfect, but only when you are taught the right way. Some toxic people don’t realize how they come across. Or is it more the “broken”?

    Can you please define “toxic” vs. “broken who has created walls and defenses they need (and want to) stop. They want to learn better ways to cope and/or respond.

  • My parents use me as show off(my grades/awards etc) for our family and friends. I’ll choose colleges in a few months and they told me that I couldn’t go anywhere and that the only way they could “afford me” was if I go to the nearest by chance one of my favourites college and according to them that is the best option because im gonna be able to come home whenever I want.They have always been really strict n when I leave the house they call me at least 4 times. They are old-fashioned.they think that because I’m a woman I’m unable to take care of myself. I have never had something to own.Ive never had my own room, or cloths or anything. I couldn’t wait to go to college but now damn I feel like I can’t. I wanna do soooooo many things and I feel like I can’t.

  • i have a mom who hurts me to death and she acts like i am the one who hurts her these days my brother hurts me physically and i told why she didn’t say anything to him abt what he does so she hollers at me i can’t wait to leave them but i m still a college student nd i am so ambitious i wanna stay strong

  • I have a brother that didn’t treat me well in the past, later he came back in my life because it was something he needed me for in a situation a new women but still he never really kept a positive relationship with me everytime he calls me which isn’t a lot its always him screaming at me about his life and how he is fed up its all about him never is it hi how are you is your life going well…never has he cared to ask me about my health or my life, so one day I lost it and I blew at him and told him off about the past and the now, I feel bad because he is my brother but its never a positive loving conversation and I can’t do it anymore, is it still normal though to miss him he is the only sibling I have left but its such a negative relationship….

  • The worst of all is, moving away from a certain toxic person results in the way where the whole family thinks that you have attitude problem even though u haven’t even stood up for yourself or said a word that hurts them..