Strategies for Speaking for your Kids Concerning the fact That You are Dating


When is the right time to meet your boyfriend’s kids?!

Video taken from the channel: Jamie Scrimgeour



Video taken from the channel: Kati Morton


PARIS HILTON’S DOCUMENTARY: 5 Traits Of A Narcissist You Need To Copy | Shallon Lester

Video taken from the channel: Shallon Lester


How To Talk To Your Teen About Dating

Video taken from the channel: Rewire Me


Kids Give Adults Advice on Dating

Video taken from the channel: Facts.


How to Talk to Your Child: The Best Strategies for Effective Communication

Video taken from the channel: tvoparents


Child Psychology: How to Date Someone With Children

Video taken from the channel: eHowEducation

Affirm your own personal commitment to your children. Consider writing each child a letter expressing your feelings and hopes for their futures, as well as your own. Realize that your children may be afraid. Kids may be scared of being or feeling abandoned as.

Most parents talk to their kids about sex at 11 or 12 years old; yet by this point, most kids already know what sex is. In fact, 42 percent of children ages 10 to 17 have seen porn online. Be sure to let your teen know you support him or her in the dating process. Tell your teen you can drop off or pick up him or her, lend a compassionate and supportive ear when necessary, or help.

For instance, a backyard BBQ with friends and your new man. You should introduce him as a friend and give your children the chance to get to know your guy in a fun, relaxed, no pressure atmosphere. A group setting allows children to feel non-threatened. It’s best not to show affection during these first five meetings.

“The talk shouldn’t be heavy and pressure-filled,” says Andrea Syrtash, dating expert and author of He’s Just Not Your Type (and That’s a Good Thing). “If you want to tell them you see more. Start conversations about what to look for in a romantic partner. Help your kids form realistic and healthy expectations for their relationships. Talk about opposite-sex and same-sex relationships. When you talk about sex and relationships, don’t assume that your teen is only interested in opposite-sex relationships.

JM: Make sure your child knows that if they make the wrong choice, you’re still there for them. Kids should know that “I can talk to Mom or Dad at any time,” they have the skills to do that, and you, as parents, give them the opportunity for that. If you put all three of those things together, you are more likely to get what you want.

By talking to your child about vaping, you may help them choose to not vape or to try quitting. Before you begin this important conversation, look for opportunities to discuss vaping with your child in a calm and reasonable way. When you think about it, there’s likely no shortage of ways into this conversation.

Look for news stories, letters. Make it clear that you’re not shaming their behavior. It’s likely that your child is going to feel embarrassed if they’ve been masturbating. If they feel like you’re shaming them, they may learn to hide their sexuality or may believe that natural urges are wrong.

Tell them that you’re only talking to them so they have the right information. The fact that your child identifies as a different gender does not mean they will take on all the stereotypes of that gender. Your child is an individual, so let their individuality lead the way.

List of related literature:

Introduce Your Family Standards About Dating When She’s a Tween I recently worked with a mom who was distraught that her son was “dating” a girl in middle school.

“Six Ways to Keep the
from Six Ways to Keep the “Little” in Your Girl: Guiding Your Daughter from Her Tweens to Her Teens
by Dannah Gresh, Fern Nichols
Harvest House Publishers, 2010

One important way is to listen when your kids tell you about the qualities they like in the person they date—their values, so to speak.

“How to Talk with Your Kids about Sex: Help Your Children Develop a Positive, Healthy Attitude Toward Sex and Relationships” by Dr. John Chirban
from How to Talk with Your Kids about Sex: Help Your Children Develop a Positive, Healthy Attitude Toward Sex and Relationships
by Dr. John Chirban
Thomas Nelson, 2012

date as “a friend” or, if your kids are prepared, call them your “date.”

“Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love” by Ron L. Deal, Dennis Rainey
from Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love
by Ron L. Deal, Dennis Rainey
Baker Publishing Group, 2012

Being actively and appropriately involved in our children’s dating life is one way we can keep the lines of communication open.

“Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids” by Greg Popcak, Lisa Popcak
from Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids
by Greg Popcak, Lisa Popcak
Ascension Press, 2014
from an early age, talk to your daughter about deep subjects and keep the conversations going as she gets older.

“Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe” by Meg Meeker
from Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe
by Meg Meeker
Regnery Publishing, 2019

Your children will understand the idea of Mom and Dad being on a date, and in later years, they will highly value the fact that you spent that time alone together and they will want to model such behavior in their lives.

“The Book of Romance: What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy” by Tommy Nelson
from The Book of Romance: What Solomon Says About Love, Sex, and Intimacy
by Tommy Nelson
Thomas Nelson, 1998

Introduce your children to your date in a casual way,as one of your friends.It helps if the introduction is done in a more public setting the first time—at church or a picnic—so the kids don’t feel on the spot.

“Single Men Are Like Waffles—Single Women Are Like Spaghetti: Friendship, Romance, and Relationships That Work” by Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel
from Single Men Are Like Waffles—Single Women Are Like Spaghetti: Friendship, Romance, and Relationships That Work
by Bill Farrel, Pam Farrel
Harvest House Publishers, 2008

If they are nervous, tell them what your child’s current interests are so they will have some safe topics to discuss.

“The Transgender Teen” by Stephanie Brill, Lisa Kenney
from The Transgender Teen
by Stephanie Brill, Lisa Kenney
Cleis Press, 2016

We enjoyed telling our two sons stories about our early days of dating and marriage.

“What a Wife Needs from Her Husband: *Physically *Emotionally *Spiritually” by Melanie Chitwood
from What a Wife Needs from Her Husband: *Physically *Emotionally *Spiritually
by Melanie Chitwood
Harvest House Publishers, 2010

For single parents, dating presents particular anxieties, as young children often “screen” their parents’ dates.

“The Encyclopedia of Phobias, Fears, and Anxieties, Third Edition” by Ronald Manual Doctor, Ada P. Kahn, Christine A. Adamec
from The Encyclopedia of Phobias, Fears, and Anxieties, Third Edition
by Ronald Manual Doctor, Ada P. Kahn, Christine A. Adamec
Facts On File, Incorporated, 2008

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • girl heres a reality check since u dont get it very often….u dont know shit… you were an editor in star magazine… not vouge…not W or QH… and u talk as if u have a psychology degree… please go make kids before its too late or something geez

  • The best way is to NOT DATE her. SHe failed already, she made the wrong choice by allowing the wrong guy to impregnate her, that child will NEVER be your child, you get a part time companion while she will demand FULL TIME attention, the best way is to AVOID them.

  • Thank you for this! I’m in a counseling master’s program seeing my own therapist and the part about not dating to complete you really spoke to me

  • Don’t ever date anyone with children, unless you have children too! Children are a lot of work and money, and you deserve your own children! You’re better off alone than dating a single mom or dad.

  • Life is too short. Why date someone who has children if you don’t have any of your own. Plenty of fish in the sea. Save yourself the drama.

  • Hi my ex partner has moved on with another women and they are moving in a couple of months and the my ex partner girl friend is ready to meet my son. This is a new s situation for me and my ex partner does not communicate with me in any way does not want to talk to me but he wants her to meet my son what shall I do. can you give me any advice please it’s making it really difficult for me make that decision when she should meet my son I feel there is no respect there on the ex partner side he just talks to like a piece crap when he does talk me.

  • The interviewer is annoying �� as they are talking she’s like “ ok yea mhm right okay “ but not in a I’m interested but as in hurry up and finish talking ��.. but they gave great advice ��

  • Dear Parents, Want to Raise Brilliant Kids? well, trust me, nothing worth fighting for if it wasn’t for your children. Invest in your child’s future by teaching him/her to read in early age in a very efficient scientific way using a guaranteed exclusive program. You won’t loose anything. Watch those typical instructions and don’t forget to share with your loved ones:

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  • #KatiFAQ regarding childhood sexual abuse, do you have much experience of inner child work? I really feel that my ‘inner child’ is the suicidal one. is this normal? thank you!

  • Kids need to get disciplined and rewarded based on the level of the action Plan and simple they need to understand the importance of the different levels of wrong. I don’t beat on my kids but I will whip them as a last resort for server action. I will fuss at my son if he reaches out with his left hand, stand or sit too eye level when communicating respect women children and elderly x2 loyalty and respect

  • Shallon is so brave and I know she will get a lot of hate for this video!:) I’ve been learning a lot about Jungian psychology and how suppressing our “bad” side leads good people to do very unhealthy things. A good person needs to integrate certain “bad traits” in order to become whole and thrive in this messed up society. Otherwise, your talents will go unnoticed and all the attention seeking, wicked people will get all the credit.

  • I appreciate & like those videos in which an old & young meet to share things about life. BUT this one here is really BAD!
    I don’t think these questions are supposed to be asked to kids!

  • Ummm I get the point about learning from the Narc but this video Is kinda insensitive to the survivors.I was with a Narc and Is not something that I would want to be AT ALL.

  • I think the documents was good. Do I think she is a genius? No. She is a smart brand marketing person and Now she is reinvent herself because being dumb at 20 is cute but looking dumb at 40 looks sad..

  • No issue with interviewer at all. Where can I move to, to live around all intelligent and beautiful women/people? It appears wherever mean faced, over weight people live, the mean faced and over weight people make unnecessary issues with the intelligent/beautiful people. The mean faced and over weight people are not capable of understanding and should not be allowed to speak or live around civilized people who have higher standards because the mean faced and over weight people trash communication and decent societies.

  • This is a parents perspective of communication with their children. Teachers can learn a lot from this & it’s pretty straight forward. Teacher, coach, principal parent no matter, anyone can learn how to listen better & have more empathy for others. Those who work with kids should all illustrate this type of behavior modeling.

  • I parent my nephew because my brother has to work in a different city, and believe me… These skills REALLY work.
    This video has been so helpful, I really wanna thank you:)

    Greetings from Colombia

  • Do not do it. Everyone warned me. Everyone, but nope I thought I could make it work. Kids loved me. After a 6-year LTR it ended up with her threatening that she’d go to the police if I contacted her again. STAY CLEAR of this situation fellas. Stay clear.

  • I loved her documentary, why? Because it shows a side of her that kind of explains who she is, her multiple selves, her hardworking, and how tough she is with the guys who are not supportive of her work. The director is great, picked up all the right elements.

  • Good luck when you’re dealing with an adolescent boy with narcissistic tendencies. They don’t want to hear anything from you except YES, and OK. The word NO is toxic to them.

  • my tip is dont date its a waste of time but thats just the best advice i can give to somebody until they figure it out for themselves

    it took my friend in college 35 years to figure that out and she ended up being single with 3 children to take care of before she came to that conclusion

  • I’m an lonely extrovert that gets attached easily, and im dating an extreme introvert. Some days we text several messages, some days it’s 1 or 2. He told me at beginning this is normal. How can I get over it? He’s not doing anything wrong, its just very unique from past expereinces. with video dates he is very attentive, and during text his responses include questions and looking at me as i talk but i feel lonely.:/

  • Paris handles scandal better than anyone. The Kardashians had their reality show to whine and cry, Paris didn’t. She just kept it moving. When they found the herpes med rx in her storage unit, she never spoke about it. When she got busted with drugs in another country and she said it wasn’t her purse? Then they proved she posted the pic of that same new purse on social media, she never batted an eye. She just stands tall and keeps it moving. Absolute Queen. �� Loves it!

  • What about those of us who have never been in a relationship (or it’s literally been decades since being in one), and don’t really want to put in the effort to be in one?

  • How I wish,there will be punishments that will be implemented about bullying,racial discriminations since it is mentioned in these topics as examples.

  • After watching the documentary of Paris Hilton, I am totally convinced her days as a happy and healthy human celebrity is numbered and she will be dead within the next 5 years.

  • Took the red pill and avoided single mothers since high school.
    Also had a vasectomy. Happy knife,happy life.
    Best thing I’ve ever done.
    Not having the court system control my life no way.
    Today guys are even getting hit with child support and back pay for kids that aren’t even theirs.
    I’m also immune to divorce rape and weaponized child support.
    Can’t complain.

  • Great tips! You will know in your heart what the right timing is! You are right that one size does not fit all! Think about the kids! Great advice!

  • man: where would you go for dinner if you had to bring someone on a date

    me: whispers Mcdonald’s

    boy: Mcdonald’s

    me: Aye * fist pumps air*

  • One of the wonderful times and ways I knew I loved things about my then boyfriend (now husband of 14 years) was when we went to Octoberfest together. It was fun neither of had ever been to an Octoberfest event before. But the main thing was we stood and watched people doing the polka for awhile. He asked me if I wanted to try it since neither of us had ever done it before. I mean how hard could it be right? We were terrible we bounced into other couples and seemed more like we were imitating a pinball machine then dancing. But he laughed, I laughed and we kept right on going. Other people I had gone out with first would never have tried it second the minute it was clear we were terrible he would have stopped. Mike didn’t care that we were probably making fools of ourselves we just enjoyed the moment and went with it. I’ve dated soon many that were not that way and that’s probably one of the things I find so attractive about my husband. So yes, once you’ve dated a bunch of people that are all the same you KNOW when you see something different and decide if you like it.

  • I’m not sure but,if anyone else    is searching for  
    how to talk to your children so they will listen  try Awsomic Toddler Method (do a google search )?  Ive heard some unbelievable things about it and my brother in law got cool success  with it.

  • I once befriended a married woman whose only dates with her husband were at Taco Bell. Even when her husband deployed to the middle east, she sent him an empty hot sauce packet with a pun about being hot on it. Apparently he still has it over 10 years later. The key to long-lasting love is always tacos.

  • I have the only dating tip you’ll ever need.

    Don’t date. If you need sex, there are easier ways. If you need friendship there are easier ways. I don’t get this great wish to combine the two.

  • Humans are by nature interdependent and the whole point of attachment theory is… attachment so I like the major tenants but living yourself first is a bit misleading. We do rely on others for certain levels of wholeness otherwise we would remain single en masse.

  • you were so on point with #1 #3 and #6 I never realized those ones! pretty cool that you did this video Kati, thank you!!! you’re so freaking awesome and I love getting notifications of a new video from you!!!

  • ADDED your video to my QTV ♥️ Quarantine playlist ��Do You �� Uplifting �� Diverse mixed humoured TV? If so ❗ Click on Alien QTV 8hour + for your Bigger Screen. New playlist ready each & every Friday for OUR weekend TV Xtra watch �� Enjoy. Hopefully we’ll get through covid. Keep optimistic. ENJOY ������ SUBSCRIBE IF YOU LIKED MY WEEKLY PLAYLISTS ��

  • interesting points,if anyone else wants to learn about how to discipline toddlers try Panlarko Teaching Toddlers Planner (just google it )? Ive heard some incredible things about it and my mate got amazing results with it.

  • Do you have any tips on how we could meet actual dates besides online? I know there’s singles groups but they seem a bit overwhelming. I’m an introvert and obviously I have a lot of anxiety too. I’m scared I’ll never meet anybody.:/ Also, I love your advice about dating different types of people. I think if I wasn’t so picky about physical appearance I wouldn’t have any problems. Is there anything we can really do that could psychologically change our dating preferences?

  • dating is impossible as a mentally ill person. the boyfriend I have now I lie to about it. plus I have to “aim low” with men so they will feel like I’m better than than so will be more likely to deal with my crazy. my real best experience is to just never let them find out you are crazy. best thing to work so far for me.

  • I really liked this video. I’m terrified to go on a date because I’ve had bad experiences meeting new guys. I was raped by one, the other guy I met was all touchy feely moving his hands all over my body…. I ended up having a panic attack. Or guys want to meet me at 10 or later, I don’t feel comfortable going out past 10 with someone I don’t know or just starting to know. How can I get over my fear of meeting new guys and where does one look in order to meet guys. I’ve tried Tinder and the guys don’t respond. I tried meetme and all the guys wanted was sex. I tried plenty of fish (POF) and thats where I met the guy who raped me. So I don’t trust meeting guys from online. HELP

  • i have to stop listening because that interviewer is not listening shes just preparing her next interjection. its very annoying i want to hear the speakers.

  • @shallonlester I saw the Paris Hilton documentary & cried! I cant believe how much she went through. Also, her mom looked like she was going to cry when Paris showed her the picture on her phone & spoke about the trauma she has, but I saw no tears. She hid her face but no teas when she removed her hand from her face. thats was weird. My mom would have been crying.

  • These videos help me so much when I’m in a bad place and help me while I’m with my therapist I always think about things you say in your videos lol lovee your videos ����

  • Here’s my two cents. If you’re having trouble meeting someone and you’re a man, whatever you do, avoid online dating. Any trace of self-worth you have will vanish. After several years of everything from Match, OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble, etc., I have met no one meaningful. You will craft a decent profile and post nice pictures and everyone you message will either not open your message, or not respond. People will tell you to change your profile or, “post a picture with a puppy/guitar/baby in it” and you will try every version of everything and I promise you, any woman that you’re interested will still cast you into the abyss. Try to be funny, try to be smart, try to be serious, none of it works. Everyone has all the answers for you, but none of it matters. Who are these women dating? This has ruined my entire view on humanity and women. Every woman I have approached in person has rejected me and the rest of the world seems to be in some kind of relationship. Madness.

  • My mom finnally stop asking me questions about my school day or lunch in highschool. But in middle school was so terrible and lunch they would force feed us and I take meds so I couldn’t that much. So I thought how was your day and what did you eat was really rude.

  • I usually enjoy your videos but you need to slow your roll. I do not agree with you. She is not a narcissist. She clearly explained why she created the life she hasit was all as a result of what she endured. It is not her fault she, unlike the other survivors, had the money to come out of that a bit better. So very firmly, take that narcissist finger and point at self right nowyourself. Have some more respect for others, and their journey. You’ve completely diminished and discredited her bravery to come forward and talking about her personal life, goodness gracious!!

  • The truth is African Americans are the people of the Bible, do you wonder why they call him Jesus even though J didn’t exist even in the original 1611 KJV, I will show you the Hebrews and the truth by these scriptures, Deuteronomy 28:68 says that the people would be taken on slave ships to other nations with yolks of iron upon their necks and be sold unto nations they do not know, Revelation 1:15 says that the most high has wooly hair and is burnt like bronze(black), as well in 1 Samuel 16:12 it says when describing the king of Israel, that David is ruddy, or red, if you have ever seen red dirt, or a red cow, that is but very dark brown, as well in Isaiah 11:12 says that only in the end of times will he gather the people from the four corners of the Earth, meaning that the Jewish people there now are not the people, but also by the Atlantic slave trade chart they went to the four corners from Africa, as the path clearly shows, we also follow the commandments, as it says in Revelations 14:12 that only those who keep the commandments will get into the kingdom, it also says in 1 John 2:4 you are a liar if you do not follow the commandments and do not know the most high, even so other religions point to a single people, in Quran 10:94 it says follow Israel for they came before you, do you question why you worship a graven image und crosses of wood or other such, though it says as a commandment in Exodus 20:4 not to do so, even so in Deutoronomy 29:17, if you want to know more text me on messenger at Timothy Israel, and check out our YouTube Israel Noww Cincinnati, we stream every Shabbat(Saturday) at 4:30PM Eastern and gather at the synagogue at 270 Northland Boulevard Cincinnati Ohio, and have many videos up to answer questions, Thank you, HALLELUYAH

  • My ex should watch this video. In no time at all after we broke up, where she basically saw me as the entire issue because how much I wasn’t willing to drop my life to do what she wanted, she got married. I’ll admit that her treatment of me has left me permanently scarred about the possibility of future relationships.

  • @ 8:05 “It also locks you into this track of greatness…you will not fail..” Nope. When a grandiose narcissist fails, they just become a covert narcisssist, blaming everyone and everything but themselves for said failure. Having heathy self-esteem, positive self-talk, and life goals is one thing, but having narcissistic personality disprder (NPD) is quite another. Have a look at Dr. Ramani’s (excellent!) channel to learn more about narcissists and the psychological damage they often cause to those around them.

  • Amazing insights and helpful tips to help improve communication and relationship with my kids from early years to teenage,to adulthood.

  • Thanks for the video, Kati! Those were some great tips! I have a question/topic…I’m 23yrs old, I just got out of a 3mth relationship (my first one ever) about a month ago. I feel like I’m ready to date again and I’m on dating apps like Tinder/okcupid but no one seems to be mature enough to want a real relationship. Are there other things I can do besides the dating apps? I don’t really go to many parties but I do enjoy indoor rock-climbing.

  • I’m honestly surprised Shallon didn’t mention how Paris’s trauma seemed to have ‘stuck’ her at the age she was traumatized. Does anyone else notice how Paris owns / wears certain things a preteen would? Or how some of her hobbies are similar to a young girl’s?

  • I like how pragmatic your suggestions are, as opposed to the usual tiresome platitudes. It actually makes me sit up and notice. Some. �� No, really, it’s good.

  • Watched the documentary as soon as it hit available today. Took me the whole day with quarantine, family and WORK to get through it but I loved it!! Keep em’ coming, Shallon. �� Good stuff

  • I’m a 12 year old girl so here’s what I think about what to do on first dates
    I think you should do something too out there like maybe just go to a nice cafe for lunch and get to know each other better maybe see if you share any interest talk about your goals in life and what u look for in a relationship and then on the second date go fancy go to a nice restaurant for dinner and then third date go for something fun so they see your romantic side and your fun side but after each date tell them something to make them want to find out more about you kind of keep them guessing a bit so they actually want to know more and that’s what I think about dates

  • i really need a date for military ball this year to carry on the tradition of battalion commander starting all the dancing with a waltz but im horrible at asking someone. literally last year when I asked someone it was through a note and I still practically ran out of the room and had a panic attack in the restroom. How do i get over the fear of asking someone or at least hide my inner fear?

  • Hey. Kati, I’m honestly really scared and confused about how I should move forward, what to feel and think and ultimately what choice to make in this surreal situation I found myself in. I’m going to try and keep it short, but that might be hard. English is my second language, oh and so sorry for the spelling mistakes. I honestly don’t know where i can submit questions?

    I have PTSD, it came about a couple of years ago after a very abusive relationship(mentally, emotionally and physically) and abusive childhood. However 3 years ago I met this guy, he would constantly treat me good and invest all his time and effort in me, he made me feel loved and safe again. Around our 1 year anniversary, we got in a really bad fight while drinking on my birthday party, and i did a mistake of getting really angry with him and deleting our facebook relationship status. And we did have some issues with arguing over small stuff around that time also, the day after that incident, i called him and apologized, i had too much to drink that night, and was over emotional. He didn’t answer my calls or messages, i told him I had made a mistake and would never drink to that point again, and i have kept my word. We didn’t see each other for about 2-3 weeks. We got back together 3 weeks after and i asked him why he didn’t answer and what had happened, i asked him if he had met someone else, he said no. he missed me and wanted me back.

    We did not live together, but On January 2016 we made the big move of renting a house together, and that’s when things got scary. so one day after a party, he says he don’t remember that incident, he had a lot to drink and he takes drugs, he hit me real bad and gave me a concussion, I had to go to the ER, the next day he says he can’t remember a damn thing, I forgave him which i NEVER thought i would forgive something like that, but I care too much about him. And thought maybe he had some form of psychosis because of all the hard drugs he had taken, then a couple of months ago, he would disappear after every single small thing that would come up, a small petty argument or something like that, he would disappear for hours and hours at night and come home really under the influence of drugs, and say nothing i would text, cry and call all night he was away, he would never answer me back. during that period, after asking him multiple times what the hell was going on, i found out he had been addicted to smoking heroin for the last 2 years, he tried it 2 years ago, he said, but really had been smoking it once a week since we moved in together, but first he lied about it several ways, and then he blamed it on me many times also.

    Which is what Frustrates me the most, i cant even begin to explain how much he denies and lies about so much…it Kills me.

    I forgave him in the end, after involving his family and getting him into therapy, he has been clean for the past 2 months, but 3 days ago, I found out from a message some girl had sent him on facebook some time ago, she seemed really angry and hurt, she said he was a real asshole for doing something to her, I asked the girl, and she told me, he had an affair with her, that 3 weeks we didn’t talk, they had sex and everything. I confronted him, but he denied it, lied again so many different ways and got upset and went out drinking that same night i found out, he turned off his phone and drank the whole night.

    He finally admitted it yesterday, that he did have sex and everything, but after 2 years of lying about everything and each time he says he will be honest, something comes up, and i catch him in a lie. he said that he was afraid to tell me because he didn’t want to lose me, but the lying is just killing me, I’ve asked him so many times, to tell me the truth if he ever cheated, and he lies about almost every little and big thing:(

    I don’t want him to leave the house and go and do bad stuff, we have a contract and we have to live together in this house out January 2017. But at the same time i am really hurt and angry, when i argue with him or catch him in a lie, he says all the things he did is because i am difficult and tries to blame it all on me, but when im not angry, he literally begs me to stay with him, buys me flowers and promises me so much, i just have a hard time with all of this, sorry for the long message:( Im torn, because i really care for him, and want to believe he just made bad choices because he has ADHD and he is 4 years younger than i am. But at the same time, i dont think i deserve being treated like this, its affecting my health and im so scared of being lied og cheated on again. I have no Idea how to approach this situation, i cant seem to know if he had serious mental issues like sociopathic traits and maybe compulsive lying or if he really just makes bad decisions and then is to coward to confess them.

    And i feel really stupid for forgiving him and being played like that over and over, its hurting my self esteem allot, and my confidence, but the moment he gets angry and leaves in the middle of the night, thats when i cant stop calling him and crying and getting scared

  • i watched the docu, and i found it to be some poor excuse to try to make Paris more down to earth when I don’t think it did that for me. It looked like the “traumas” she goes through are trivial, in the eyes of real people. Ive been through more than that and I don’t wallow in it or try to get people to feel bad for me. This to me, was nothing but a poorly timed attempt to transition Paris to an adult persona, so she can continue to appeal to her aging fanbase. She can’t be a dumb ditz anymore, and her team knew that at 39, it was time to change it. I don’t think she’s brilliant and I don’t think that it was hard to “build her empire”. When someone has millions of dollars of capital to invest in herself with, that should be relatively easy.

  • “Date a variety of different people” easier said than done. I personally have never had a date, I’ve never been asked on a date and I’ve never asked someone out on a date myself. I don’t even know where I can find people whom I can, in theory, date. Where do you find these people??

  • There was no dating scene where I grew up only drunken hook-ups that sometimes led to a relationship. I was part of that and years later when I got separated and was too old to for the old habits I had no idea what I was supposed or allowed to do. That’s now 21 years ago and I still don’t know how to express that I’m interested.

  • I always wondered if Paris’s desire to be seen more than the ditzy, “that’s hot” party girl was not just cause she really isn’t that but cause of her sister. Nicki always played second fiddle to Paris during the early days, but Nicki became more than the Hilton name. I mean she’s a freakin Rothschild now, but she’s a mom, businesswoman, and she’s respected

  • Sometimes this channel is depressing.

    Paris Hilton: makes a candid documentary about being abused


  • I finally fully disconnected from my last toxic relationship (I only held onto it for years because of abandonment fears). And it was amazing to feel that this was the last time I will ever be in a toxic relationship again.

  • its funny how you’re the same age as Paris yet looks 20 and u literally look 50. its the narcissism in u that’s rotting u alive or jealousy who knows

  • Kids come from school give them space to rewind. Then ask about their Friends and not how was school. What subject is harder this year? What’s the hardest, is it the teachers?

  • I didn’t know people could still be as ignorant towards mental health as you are. I refuse to watch this video as I am only commenting on it as it’s the most recent therefore the most likely to be seen… That being said from the videos I have had the displeasure of watching I have become completely and utterly repulsed by you. Many of your comments are complete lies while others are only based in half truths just so you can keep some shred of credibility, but doing so is incredibly dangerous and morally wrong, especially the comments you made recently about Johnny Depp where you essentially blamed him for being in a relationship with an abuser which not only hurts him but also viewers of your channel who might have that stick with them and use it to blame themselves if they get abused in the future. Not to mention what you said about Pete Davidson and the “something must’ve happened in that house” his father died in 9/11 that’s his trauma you have no right to say lies like that and accuse people you don’t even know of giving him a personality disorder. This is also in combination with the fact that you implied that people with incurable mental disorders shouldn’t date ever, as someone with an incurable mental disorder ideas like that are incredibly harmful to us and make the disorder worse by making us feel undeserving of love. I have no idea how people can support you or your ideas I just hope that you and your viewers bring your understanding of mental health into the modern day. I doubt many people who see this will give a shit and I doubt my comment will do anything but if you do choose to read this all the way, thank you very much wether you agree or not.

  • Kati, at some point in the future, would you be willing to talk about limerence? I have crushes on men, but they’re older than me and I feel like I do it because I want that paternal love. But limerence really warrant its own video?

  • So funny to see a sexy blonde talking about another sexy blonde. ��

    Paris has started a lifestyle called Sliving and I think Shallon is truly sliving.��

  • ❤ Love you Shallon. Feel so positive and motivated after watching your videos. I’ve been going through a tough time not really feeling hopeful about anything but your videos are helping so much. Thank you.

  • I used to HAATEEEE her (Paris) back in the day!! But now I love her:D I honestly just never knew enough about her to form an opinion, I just formed one based on gossip magazines and stuff. She always seemed very materialistic, but as a child I had no idea that someone can be materialistic BUT STILL a good person underneath it all. Also love your videos and all the topics! <3

  • i don’t really see you nor paris as narcissists based on the learning and research I’ve done about them because of dealing with a narcissistic abuser myself and you guys are nothing like what a narcissist actually is and most people wouldn’t want to be like one. it’s someone who basically has nothing going for themselves so they prey on others for attention and feed off of them and drain them. but i guess that’s an extreme example. i recommend dr. ramani for more on this. it’s fascinating. this is good advice tho for ‘light’ narcissism people with high self esteem but maybe aren’t abusive.

  • Shallon, I have a question in regards to hurt lockers. When you explain them you state hurt lockers as being people you want to become or emulate in your life, but wouldn’t it be a positive to want to date them considering why would you want to date someone that you wouldn’t want to become or emulate some of their good qualities in a way?

  • Shallon
    Thank you for being unapologetically you. Thank you for being as brave as you are to speak freely under the microscope of critics. Your videos genuinely make my life better.

  • Narcissists lack empathy…������
    The purpose of the documentary was to call a ligth on victims of teenage / child “abuse “… so I guess that depends on the type of Narcissism.��������

    (I believe she may have narcissistic traits ) totally instilled by her Parents and Grandmother…
    She was 100% ” grommed”,
    and if you pay attention to whole the documentary you will notice that her void is actually for her Parent’s love and “attention”, she was emotionally neglected by them.
    ( of course the Traumatic experience at Provo School played a huge part on her behavioural change).

    Deep… deep down part of her success and drive is to please her family name so she can somehow receive that love” back.
    Some Parent’s screw up their kids and Paris is a great example it runs in her Family.

  • God I feel so bad for Paris… this documentary explains everything…
     @Jenny A  Her parents completely traumatized her to a point where she couldn’t trust them with her life, she was physically & emotionally ab*sed (probably s*xually too if you listen to the documentary) at a boarding school that was essentially a locked-ward psychiatry, she got into a relationship with this guy who pressured her into recording her s*x tape which he released against her will, her grandfather was so embarrassed that he disinherited her and the whole world began to shame her for being a “sl*t”…… and she developed this stupid persona as a trauma response:(

  • ive been single for 7 years and am 26 years old. only dated and kissed one person in the meantime. i really feel like i’m missing out compared to my peers. i’m actually afraid to be alone forever. is that a specific phobia?

  • Someone commented on the documentary that she probably feels like she NEEDS to make 1 billion dollars bc her grandfather disinherited her because he was so embarrassed embarassed of her after her horrible ex boyfriend released the s*x tape against her will… seems like Paris feels she has to prove her worth as a human being to her family, even though she is TECHNICALLY the victim in many ways:(

  • After my first breakup ( a 5 years long relationship), I felt so empty! I took a year and a half to work on my life before considering dating again. It was a really great move!!! I feel like my new relationship is a lot more balanced because of that:)

  • I think the term narcissist (in a clinical sense) is thrown around too much. Dr. Kirk Honda has a podcast about how rare clinical narcissism actually is, and how being “self absorbed” actually has nothing to do with it.

  • Narcissist never go back to their exes??? So… You’re just going to take The Hoover out of the love bomb-discard-hoover cycle? I fear that anyone watching this would get a gross misrepresentation of narcissism. Narcissism shows itself the most in close relationships, where people are props and supply to feed the narcissist’ s ego, and where a cold-blooded lack of empathy allows the narc to chew people up and spit them out.

    This video had nothing to do with the core traits of narcissism. You made some great points, but I think you misrepresented Paris in a way that’s actually kind of mean. I understand the difficulty of what you do, and I don’t want to come across as judgemental, but I do think this should have been a rough draft and maybe not what you put on the channel.

  • The way you talk is very, very warm. I literally swam over the internet and all i could find were pretentious people fishing for views and likes, you are not one of them. You are the sole reason that I haven’t killed myself as yet. You are my personal savior. There are a lot of things I would like to talk to you about. Maybe, message me Kati?

  • There are things she says that I disagree with, sometimes strongly disagree with, but I do agree as well, with many things she has to say and I take so much wisdom from them. I mostly have resolution moments where I’m like wowwww this is helpful! wowww I have never thought about it like that, but now I should. Even when I disagree with her, I learn. So: You don’t have to be 100% with what she have to say, but I believe you can take some important notes from her.

  • Like child sexual abuse, by mom’s new boyfriend turned step father? Mental abuse by the step when bio parent isn’t around. Bad mouthing the child so to remove child from the family?

  • I get a lot of females asking me out for a date, but i just dont have the confidence to go through with it. I feel like every other male in the world is better than me in every way possible. im 26 and never had a relationship but have had plenty of offers. I guess when you hate yourself how could you imagine anyone else liking you….i always want the best for people and i always feel the best is not me, but hey lifes hard

  • This woman Alicia is mental basket case.I used to work as an au pair in Chroleywood where she and her 3 children lived.She used to beat her middle child and pick only on him.She was going once a week in London to seek psychiatric help.She verbally abused me and was knocking on my door at 1 in the morning,crying because I left small space between the curtas and also didnt put the glasses in order from the biggest to the smallest.Her ex was alchocolic and would turn at the door sometimes and arque.I got thumping heartbiting from stress and I was only 19.Someone told me she had 9 au pairs in that year.I left and saved muself after 3 months there.It was hell!! She even said I eat a lot and Im only 53kg….She is not fit to work with children at all.Her poor son,sometimes I could think of his screams in his upstairs room.Burn Alicia in hell

  • I feel like i realy need more examples to write the story about oneself. I feel like it could help me but… i just wished i had more examples ��

  • good morning. please. I want to teach a two year old child shapes and fruits in English and Arabic. Are there books I have in Oxford like what I mentioned to you? Thank you

  • How can dating be fun? Job interviews aren’t fun. Actually, to me dating is even more stressful than job interviews, but they both suck.

  • I hate that stupid annoying weirdo looking like Paris woman. She clearly lives on a Paris planet and one too many people naively believe the hype she created. She needs a reality slap, be sent somewhere to volunteer or something

  • A big box of chicken nuggets and some conversation?


    Also, life is really expensive so McDonalds may be all I can afford right now.

  • My struggle is that no one wants to date me for more than one date. Going on 33 and just getting worse not better at this life thing

  • Hi, Katie, ive been watching you for a while now and I really like your videos, they help me a lot. I’m in a relationship right now, and it’s not going well. The main issue is communication, my partner doesn’t communicate with me well even though I try my best to always be there for him. This relationship I’m in right now is by far the worst, I know it’s borderline emotionally and mentally abusive, and my friends don’t like him and they want me to leave him. But for some reason I keep telling myself it’ll get better? Will it? I always try to compromise or fix problems but I don’t know…it’s like he’s not trying sometimes. But I found out that my university counselor office offers couples therapy, so my partner and I booked an appointment for ir. I don’t know to expect and I’m a little frightened, do you have any advice or tips on how to prepare for the first meeting?

  • Date a variety of people…. lol, try doing that when people you just talk plainly tell you things like “I don’t care ugly guys”, “I like you but my girlfriends would laugh at me for going out with someone who looks like you”, “you need a face transplant”…:-D

    I never walk away….
    I’m not overweight, unsporty,…
    36 by now… single for all my life, not for lack of trying…

  • Shallon I remember you said your hurt locker is a hocker player (“one of the best”) named Syd…. Do NOT tell me you dated Sidney Crosby!?!? GET IT WOW <3

  • Kudos for the Video! Apologies for the intrusion, I would love your initial thoughts. Have you tried Trentvorty Kids Science Theorem (search on google)? It is a smashing one off product for becoming an excellent parent without the hard work. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my m8 after many years got excellent success with it.

  • IMO #5 is key for men to avoid wasting time on a vapid or mean or shallow but otherwise beautiful woman. If you LISTEN, I find that you can figure out if she’s TRULY worth your time, or if she just looks good.

  • The whole ” can’t love others unless you love yourself” always makes me uncomfortable because does that mean my love is automatically less just because of a mental heal problem which affects how I view myself. It’s way easier to love other then it is to love yourself and I often find others help bring the best out in me and help me maybe not love but like myself a bit

  • Yeah, I’ve been told repeatedly that I deserve the best, but not everyone can logically get ”the best”. I’m almost 20 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship. That’s not because nobody was interested in me, but because I wasn’t really interested in anyone that has been around me. My friends could handle their boyfriends being pretty, boring blank slates or self-centered jerks, I just couldn’t.
    A couple of times some boy would hit me up, I would sense something weird or upsetting about him for some reason, I would reject him and then I’d find out through friends that he’d gone out with one of my friends and he was a real abusive asshole all this time.
    Now, on one hand when I think about it I don’t regret rejecting assholes, but I am still a little conflicted about the “love yourself” thing. Is it possible to love yourself too much? I’ve always had such clear, precise and high standards for what a boy should be for me, that no one has met those standards yet. I don’t think this is what is meant by “loving yourself” in all those self-help books and videos.

  • The main difference between the rich and the poor is that the rich KNOW that $ can not buy happiness. She has “everything” but yet has nothing. I feel sorry for Paris Hilton after watching her Documentary. She seems broken DEEP down inside. Both of her parents are HUGE narcissists. No wonder Paris feels she can not trust. No wonder she likes having pets, she was treated like one by her parents. Mom justifies abandoning her at those “Emotional Growth” schools and even pats herself on the back by claiming it was good(?!?!?) for her.
    Unfortunately, I know this scenario all too well myself. My step mother and her family are rich and the same stuff like Paris has played out similarly in my half siblings. They live unfulfilled lives with constant self indulgencies and they are empty, distrusting, and miserable people. I guess the best way to explain it is it is like gravity. It is good and people need it to be strong and healthy. When astronauts go into space for prolong periods of time they get weak because their bodies do not have to work as hard as on Earth. Being independently wealthy is like antigravity. People need resistance in life to be happy.

  • Thing is, if you’re admittedly a narcissist yourself, it’s very hard for you to tell the truth. You’re giving a perspective of a narcissist through your eyes, a narcissists eyes…meaning it’s not accurate whatsoever. Narcissists always go back to their exes (unless they have experienced a serious narcissistic injury), they need supply to feed their ego, whether it’s good or bad attention. If anyone wants an educated explanation of what a covert/overt/malignant narcissist is, ask a professional, or their usual targets, empaths.

  • That sucks pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • As someone with anxiety and depression who is trying to navigate a serious relationship at the same time, I appreciate this content. Thank you!

  • This is from a mothers perpective not a teachers. Confusing, this is great information, but quite difficult for a prospective teacher.

  • Hi Kati! So this isn’t related to the topic of the video, but I have three questions for you.

    1. I have a friend who right now wants to transition from a girl to a boy. Her parents, from what I have heard, are not the most supportive. She always comes to me for advice, thinking that I always know what to say. I have never been in this situation before, so I really never know the exact right thing to say. She has talked to a councilor before, but I still feel like she pours all of this onto me. It’s very exhausting, and even kind of annoying a lot of the time. I will even avoid to respond to the text for a while because I just don’t want to have to deal with that. How do I deal with this?!

    2. I deal with anxiety, and right now, I am diagnosed with GAD. But there is a problem: I don’t worry over something specific. When I have anxiety, or anxiety attacks (when the anxiety comes out of nowhere and can get very out of hand very quickly), it just comes for no reason. But I don’t always have a full blown panic attack. In fact, I have had only mild panic attacks where I can get them under control myself, and they don’t happen so often. Does this still mean I have GAD? Just wanna make sure so I am not mis diagnosed:)

    3. I have been having anxiety more frequently in my knees. It basically feels like having anxiety in your stomach, chest, ect, but in my knees. Breathing techniques don’t always work for when it’s there, and it’s very hard for me to get it under control. Any advice on how to get rid of it? Moving around/taking a walk helps, but I don’t want to feel like I always have to leave class at school to get rid of it.

    I know this was so long, but thank you SO MUCH for reading this!!! And thank you for all you do. You have truly helped me and so many other people out and we cannot thank you enough for that:)

  • Hi Kati! Great video as always! Thank you! I wanna watch that TED video u mentioned at the beginning but couldn’t find the link. Would u pls share it in the reply? Also what was the email where I could ask a bit more personal question about my relationship?

  • Kati, I was just wondering what role chronic pain plays in mental health. I know that they do go together but I was just wondering if you could explain the correlation.

  • I tried to date and she thought we were just meeting as friends and I later expresed my fealings she said she did not like me that way and she just wanted to be friends

  • I love that shallon has been putting up more videos, this is inspiring ��!!!! I find myself wanting to be more accountable lately due to the shallange and shallon herself being accountable, thanks girl!!!

  • hi everyone,if anyone else    wants to uncover  
    how to tell a toddler  try Awsomic Toddler Method (search on google )?  Ive heard some incredible things about it and my brother in law got great results  with it.

  • Hello, Kati! I was diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder, and my therapist told me that I need to be completely honest and open with her so she can help. However, opening up is hard. When I was first diagnosed, I even cried, and that embarrassed me tremendously. How can I push back the anxiety of opening up and be able to tell her exactly what I am feeling during therapy? Any suggestions? Thanks!

  • It’s true what you said about being ready to find a partner. I wasn’t ready when I found the love of my life… we had a rocky start. Now I’ve grown as a person and we are both happy. I could have lost him so easily, I had a lot of luck on the way. Relationship won’t cure your mental illness, you will ne just as depressed as you were before the relationship. Yes, having the right people to support you on the way helps a lot but just keep in mind that it’s not their responsiblity to make you happy. Unfortunately mentall illness has been a really big problem in my relationship but talking about it openly and really taking my time to make him understand that it’s not his fault has helped us a lot. I’ve learned a lot along the way

  • I believe that we parents must make sure that we are being a positive role model to our children. Let our children know that we love them no matter what.I think we should not assume for one minute that children know this innately. Don’t feel bad if you child questions it, take it as an opportunity to sweep them in your arms and tell them how much you love them and how incredible they are.

  • thx for this interestingly ha bisky vid i say just make a list of things you want in a guy and make sure they make most of the list so that way you arent getting into a relationship that wont go anywhere

  • The only relationship I’ve ever been in was an unloving one. Well I loved him but he never said he didn’t love me. Now I’m terrified I’m unlovable

  • Regarding #1: I get the idea of loving yourself and caring for yourself, but don’t we also depend on the love and care of others? It baffles me that I should first be perfectly in touch and peace with myself before I enter a relationship. How the f*ck am I going to find a relationship this way? I am 22 right now and it will take me at least until I am thirty before I “love myself”. I am not trying to mock the idea, I am totally with you on that, but is it really necessary to do that before dating?

    In my opinion, nobody’s perfect and nobody ever will be, so why should I be perfectly clean with myself before starting to date? Isn’t dating and being in a relationship actually a place to LEARN about your flaws and issues and work on them? We are interdependent beings and depend on love not only from ourselves but also from others. And this person must not be friends and family, but it can also be a girl/-boyfriend, even though I see the danger, if you spend most of your time with your gf/bf, to emotionally depend on them, and maybe that is the point you are trying to make. Maybe you first need to establish a certain baseline of self-love and self-trust before entering a relationship to not become a couple who needs each other, but decides to depend on one another.

    I am not sure if I got you right, Kati, but I believe that you don’t have to have a perfectly established relationship with yourself before entering a romantic relationship. In the relationship or after the relationship you would realize what is wrong and search ways to deal with it, i.e. build a loving relationship to yourself. Still love your videos, Kati, just my thought on your first point.

  • Easier said than done, I don’t meet a lot of people I’d like to date. If I meet somebody I’m atttracted to, they are usually already in a relationship. Plus people my age act like they have one foot in the grave. They see me as childish because I’m obsessed over a “silly” bicycle (I mtn bike 1-2 times a week). Show me people my age & I’ll show you beer guts, diabetes, & hypertension. None of which are words that describe me. Match & eHarmony have wasted my time & money. I’ve emailed 110 women & Ive had Zero dates to show for it (not that I’m bitter). Maybe I give bad email? Maybe I’m just socially awkward AF?

  • How about the interviewer let them finish their response instead of interrupting? There’s an effective way to ask your questions and not come off as rude or impatient.

  • Speaking of dating,,could you do a video for dating while having mental illness? I run into a ton of issues with my boyfriend. I have ED, PTSD (abusive relationship in the past), and a few other diagnoses. Like, how to have conversations with your SO when you’re triggered by their totally normal behavior. Haha. Thanks!

  • Hey Kati,could you do a video that focuses on dating with Mental Illnesses such as depression and more specifically Anorexia Nervosa? Thanks for the great vids!

  • My favorite video clip on communicating. I found this to be very helpful not only with communicating with children but with adults as well. Looking forward to reading both of your books.

  • Great advice Kati! One important thing that I’ve learned is that romance doesn’t have to fit in a box it can take many forms. I’m in kind of an unconventional relationship right now and I definitely feel awkward explaining it to people sometimes but it works for us. Right now it is happy and healthy. That’s all that matters:)

  • Kati, I watch you all the time, but this video was exactly what I needed. After a long term relationship ending and venturing into the dating world at an age that can come off as old, I need these basic reminders. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again.

  • interesting points,if anyone else    is searching for  
    how to get your toddler to behave better  try Awsomic Toddler Method (Have a quick look on google cant remember the place now )?  Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my work buddy got great results  with it.


  • i don’t think she’s a narcissist. not at all. what i would love to know is how she has not aged a day since 2004. she looks all-natural to me.

  • Kiss
    Ok so it should be after a few dates maybe after a night at the movies and your standing outside at night telling each other u had a great time then look into the other persons eyes will telling them you like spending time with him/her then look at that persons lips but only for about 2 seconds then back at their eyes and if the mood is set lean in for a kiss but not too aggressive just a nice tender kiss not too long and it u kiss again try to match your partners pace and figure out if they want to go aggressive or keep it simple (I know this stuff cause I’m the lovey dovey type and I just automatically know this)

  • I’m very sorry but could you repeat? I didn’t listen. 😉
    My advice to all daters: When you’re dating just be yourself. Be confident and relaxed but don’t pretend that you are someone else. The true you will emerge sooner than you may think.:)

  • I believe i have anxiety issues and it gets worsts when i have to face people (as in presentations etc),
    I feel uncomfortable in large groups but it depends on my mood.
    I am having trouble figuring out my OWN feelings. i am blank.

    I just realised something, since y parents have been divorced(I was a lil child) until now, I am 21 years old, I do not and CANNOT ‘feel’ much about my parents’s separation, I am blank about it. I do not understand why and maybe this explains why I am blank today… sometimes.

    Also! I have trouble putting my thoughts into words if i have an argument… i get blank again.

    I hope to get a reply Xx

  • This is great and so helpful! Could you talk about dating with mental illness specifically? I’ve found myself dating and in relationships with people who have very similar issues and it doesn’t work and I find it impossible to help them… Do you have any advice for making this work or should we just try to find someone mentally healthy? Xxx

  • Damn that hurt locker hit me. I once read the following quote that reshaped my thinking: NO amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.

  • The dialing down your empathy is CRUCIAL ladies!!! Seriously….it will change your life. You have to stop, that’s where so many women’s misery truly lies.

  • I am a single father with an 8 year old. I have a very question about a very, well I’ll just say it’s beyond my level of knowledge. I would prefer you were a woman responding to this question. seeing as I have a daughter.

  • Love the advice, Katie!

    I’m a 29 year old guy and have been single for 1 year now after coming out of a really quite nasty relationship.

    The year has been amazing, just me being me again. I have recently started to “date” again… I wouldn’t call it dating as I don’t like the connotations that the word brings with it, the whole 1 on 1 dinner/interview scenario that all to frequently happens is just nooooo fun for anyone. Unless you have instant chemistry, neither person truly enjoys that back and forth pretence. As you mentioned, go outside!:) I often invite a girl to come for a walk with me and my dog. It’s just so much more relaxed, there’s no intensity, you get to know each other and of course my dog will act as an instant distraction from any natural awkward silences.:)

  • surprisingly, that finding a silly person is very true lol, especially if they’re silly AND caring. It’s a good match for someone who doesn’t have a lot of self confidence because the other person would be able to reassure them that they’re also fun to be around since they are able to be comfortable enough around the other person and kinda feel at ease and genuinely have a good time together.

  • The girl said I should go on a romantic date so the person definitely sees me in a romantic light.
    I’ve been to like a dozen museum trips with my male friend and got puzzled why nothing is happening.
    Thank you, 10 y.o. girl.

  • Hey kati! love it. I’m in a long distance relationship and it’s really hard. I recently got drunk and kissed someone else. but I think it’s just because I’m so used to always having someone around to count on. it’s so hard keeping the relationship being far apart. what do you think?

  • Most importantly, if the Dictator is your style of parenting be sure to give the reasons and answer the “Why” questions. Give reasons and make them understand why youre grounding them or telling them “No”. But there has to be balance. The Dictator parent can only last for so long.

  • Not certain about the points made but,if anyone else wants to learn about dealing with toddler tantrums try Loctavan Teaching Toddler Strategy ( search on google )? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my mate got amazing success with it.

  • I thought this was awesome kati. My mom said that I’m the reason I have no one that’s why I’m now living with my sister who works with kids who have behavior problems like me and she is the only one that can make me take my meds even though I don’t want to take it and so my sister and the home support have to restrain me to make me take my meds which is so traumatic and I dunno how to deal with this as my doctor wont let me come of my meds help what could I do another reason they restrain me is coz when they force me to take my meds I Lash out at them and myself I don’t mean to I just get frustrated and struggle to vocalise it. how can I stop them from having to restrain me or they doing the right thing. It’s just traumatic for me how could I change this.

  • A miscommunication happened with my daughter a few years ago that brought on a tantrum because I wasn’t listening to her. I misunderstood what she was asking, I said yes then when it came time for her to do what I had agreed to I said no. She was trying to talk to me and I didn’t listen to her. I relived the situation in my mind and came up with a solution. I told her, remember when this happened? I don’t want to upset you by making you think about it but I realized that I wasn’t listening to you. And if you tell me to shut up and listen of course I will get mad. (She smiled at that in agreement). So, how about we come up with a password that if you say that word I’ll know I have to stop and listen to you? That what you are trying to tell me I’m not understanding? She was really happy with that. Our word is banana because she doesn’t like bananas.

  • Yesterday i had a date and she was so boring and had this attitude that just pushes me away so i was just like you Kati when you said dont be like that and listen to them… woops ��

  • I have a (trick?) question. Sex is extremely important to me and something that is what I’m looking for in a relationship. Pretty early in your video you state that one should not start a relationship with the goal of finding what’s missing. Could you, please, elaborate on “looking for sex” in that regard?

    Here’s my question, restated:
    If what I’m looking for in a relationship is sex (which is important to me) and sex, as we know, is like tango it takes two to have one, how do I reconcile that desire with the advice of not looking for something I’m missing?

    Or does that fall under “you need to work on your strong sex drive” categories and the solution is for me to have lower libido or attach less importance on my desire for a pleasure (to be clear “sex” to me is more than just an intercourse, it is the feeling of intimacy, it is to sleep naked, embracing your loved one, it is to feel wanted and desired, it is to give and receive pleasure, it is to share to the fullest)

    Thank you


  • this Jennifer Kolari is very aggressive in her conversation style: she jumps to answer first and every single time she has to top what the other woman is saying like she has to have the last word and what the other one said is never good enough or not as nearly to the point as she thinks what she has to say supposedly is! She needs to apply some CALM technique to herself! Easy does it, lady!

  • i just want to say that besides the clear cut info, the entire layout of your video is awesome! questions and answers that go right to the point. keep up the work on the back end, this is the best “informational” video that I’ve come across. You’re clearly knowledgeable on the topic, but its the way you put the video together that kept me watching. I don’t even have a boyfriend with kids lmao. so, again, wanted to say good job!