How you can Stop Blaming Yourself to be Bullied


Abuse Recovery: 3 Keys to Overcoming Self-Blame

Video taken from the channel: Dr. Craig Malkin


Sadhguru on How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Video taken from the channel: Sadhguru


How To Stop Blaming Yourself & Let Go Of RegretIts Not Your Fault.

Video taken from the channel: A Helpful Earth


Self Blame After Abuse: WHY We Turn to Self Hate

Video taken from the channel: Trauma Talk


Get Over Your Ex and STOP Blaming Yourself Terri Cole Real Love Revolution 2018

Video taken from the channel: Terri Cole Real Love RevolutionTM


How To Forgive Yourself How To Stop Feeling Guilty

Video taken from the channel: Noah Elkrief


Guilt is why we FAIL How to Stop Blaming Yourself

Video taken from the channel: Dr David Maloney Psychotherapy

And it certainly won’t keep you from being bullied in the future. Self-blame is just another form of rejection. So stop blaming yourself for the bullying and let the situation go. Instead, focus on your healing and what you can learn from the situation.

Learn how to reframe your thinking. How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Being Bullied at Work Many people blame themselves for being bullied at work or at least think they must have done something to warrant itand have a hard time holding the bully responsible for their aggression. Stop the cycles of self-harm and pain with a new thought pattern. When you talk to yourself differently, your brain starts to create new thought patterns, and in this case, replace the negative ones with more positive thoughts. 5. Start Loving Yourself.

Showing yourself self-love and self-care also helps to prevent you from blaming yourself excessively. Examine how you spend your time. Ask yourself whether you’re devoting enough energy to your hobbies, your passions, and your well-being. Many people simply drift into a pattern of meeting the needs of other people. Anyone can experience bullying in their lives.

Never blame yourself for what’s happened. Don’t mentally accept the nastiness just because a bully has directed it at you. Deal with any irrational feeling of blame by writing down how you’re feeling, drawing how you feel, doing exercise, or going out for a walk.

Direct Your Anger Positively. If someone blames you for something you have no control over, you need to ignore the actual content of what’s been said, identify the type of abuse. Examine your role in the bullying.

There may be a chance that you unintentionally pinned yourself as the victim. Maybe you thought ignoring your sibling’s behavior would cause them to stop, but it actually encouraged it instead. Or maybe you have played along hoping that by seeming unfazed, they would lose interest.

Taking away the blame without taking away the responsibility keeps us accountable to ourselves and the world around us without setting us up for. If you know who’s bullying you, bring along a trusted witness, such as a co-worker or supervisor, and ask them to stop — if you feel comfortable doing so. According to Namie, “ You can’t stand your ground as readily, since there’s a power dynamic,”.

Also, Namie suggests that “ You need to break the silence with co-workers. Chances are you’re not the only person [being bullied], and you can use your collective power to mobilize as a group. ”.

List of related literature:

It’s normal to blame yourself and to start to feel that it’s your fault that you’re being bullied, especially if it’s happening repeatedly.

“The Spectrum Girl's Survival Guide: How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic” by Siena Castellon
from The Spectrum Girl’s Survival Guide: How to Grow Up Awesome and Autistic
by Siena Castellon
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2020

First of all, remember that getting bullied is never your fault.

“The Boys Body Book: Fifth Edition” by Kelli Dunham
from The Boys Body Book: Fifth Edition
by Kelli Dunham
Applesauce Press, 2019

If you believe it is the fault of the bully, you may have aggressive feelings.

“Bullying Scars: The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships” by Ellen Walser deLara
from Bullying Scars: The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships
by Ellen Walser deLara
Oxford University Press, 2016

And remember, it’s not your fault – no one deserves to be bullied.

“What's Happening to Me? (Girls): For tablet devices” by Susan Meredith, Nancy Leschnikoff
from What’s Happening to Me? (Girls): For tablet devices
by Susan Meredith, Nancy Leschnikoff
Usborne Publishing Limited, 2013

Recognize that people who are bullied are not the problem.

“Fitness for Life: Middle School” by Charles B. Corbin, Guy C. Le Masurier, Dolly Lambdin
from Fitness for Life: Middle School
by Charles B. Corbin, Guy C. Le Masurier, Dolly Lambdin
Human Kinetics, 2007

Instead of reacting defensively, mindlessly, when that bully shows up, try to remember that he doesn’t speak the truth, only a distorted version of reality that goes out of its way to find fault with you.

“Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn't Teach You and Medication Can't Give You” by Richard O'Connor
from Undoing Depression: What Therapy Doesn’t Teach You and Medication Can’t Give You
by Richard O’Connor
Little, Brown, 2010

The same advice would apply to you as to any bully: try being nice to your victim, see the positive in them, talk to them calmly and privately.

“Asperger's on the Job: Must-have Advice for People with Asperger's Or High Functioning Autism, and Their Employers, Educators, and Advocates” by Rudy Simone, Temple Grandin
from Asperger’s on the Job: Must-have Advice for People with Asperger’s Or High Functioning Autism, and Their Employers, Educators, and Advocates
by Rudy Simone, Temple Grandin
Future Horizons, 2010

Never think it is your fault in any way, whatever the bullies might

“George and the Blue Moon” by Stephen Hawking, Lucy Hawking, Garry Parsons
from George and the Blue Moon
by Stephen Hawking, Lucy Hawking, Garry Parsons
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2017

It’s very important to remember that it is ALWAYS the fault of the bully, not the person being bullied.

“The Awesome Autistic Go-To Guide: A Practical Handbook for Autistic Teens and Tweens” by Yenn Purkis, Tanya Masterman
from The Awesome Autistic Go-To Guide: A Practical Handbook for Autistic Teens and Tweens
by Yenn Purkis, Tanya Masterman
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2020

f Whenever you feel that a bully’s comments are getting to you—that you are actually starting to doubt yourself—remind yourself of your accomplishments in life.

“ADHD and Me: What I Learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table” by Blake E. S. Taylor, Lara Honos-Webb
from ADHD and Me: What I Learned from Lighting Fires at the Dinner Table
by Blake E. S. Taylor, Lara Honos-Webb
New Harbinger Publications, 2008

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • This was very brave thank you so much for making this. This was eye opening to me. I’ve been struggling with self built blame and guilt as it’s always been my reaction after years of abuse and new forms of abuse recently.

  • U dont control thoughts that come into ur mind but u can cast it out as soon as it comes read the kjv bible��
    We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,(A) and we take captive every thought to make it obedient(B) to Christ.

  • I have done bad stuff and no one knows what I did, I will never tell anyone but only I know and I can’t ever forgive myself for what i did because I feel like what I did doesn’t deserve forgiveness and now I have really severe anxiety, Depression, and depersonalization. I’m realizing what I did was wrong at the time I didn’t think it was but now that I’m educating myself I realize what I did was awful and disgusting, I’m coming to terms that I can’t take it back but only learn from it and get better but I feel like I deserve to suffer and I don’t deserve anything but to suffer. Idk sometimes i don’t think about it but then I say to myself “ hey remember what u did,why are u happy u don’t deserve this, u are worthless “. Well idk I’m just sorry… so, so very sorry ��

  • Really random, but i wanted to share the gospel with anyone who is reading so you understand salvation, which is something many do not know: Many are clearly so confused also about the gospel, so let me help you as well as God permits me to:
    if i asked you the question: “how do you get to heaven?” Would you answer me that being a good person can earn you the happines of God and you will enter heaven? The Bible states that no one is good: we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, you have very probably at least once in your life lied, or stolen something even if it was small, probably you have often used God’s name in vain (as in omg) which is called blasphemy, you have for sure had sexual thoughts about someone, so to sum it all up: you would be a lying, thieving blasphemus adulteror at heart, which is only 4 of the 10 commandments and you probably have broken them all. And for this we deserve hell! One single sin is enough to send you to hell.  And by doing good deeds, like loving everyone helping people ecc… we can not possibly cancel our previous sins and gain the favour of God. The only way we can get to heaven is through the Lord Jesus! I will explain that better: God has His Holy and just wrath prepared to fall upon all sinners, and we completely deserve that, but in God’s infinite mercy He sent his only begotten Son to live a perfect life on this earth (something we could not possibly do ourselves) and to finally die on the cross bearing our sins and taking upon Himself the wrath of God that was supposed to be for us! True conversion is realizing that we are completely lost and putting our whole trust in the Lord Jesus and we will be cleansed by His blood, because He already bore our sins! In this way The Father will see us as pure through Jesus! As proof of our salvation we will automatically start hating the sin we once were slaves to and we will love God and His commandements! This doesn’t mean that we won’t be tempted by our past sins but if we get overcomed by temptation we will still hate the sin that we fall into. That is the gospel! And that is the only way you get to heaven and a few understand it. Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God not by works, so that no one can boast

  • Great encouragement to begin identifying and acknowledging emotions. However, I would NEVER reveal them to a narcissist. They will only take the info and use it to put you down, control, or hurt you in some way.
    Expressing your feelings to a narcissist is asking to be gut punched.

  • I did something terrible. I hurt the person I love most i always will feel like the only way to give them justice is to kill myself but they said they didn’t want that on their consious. idk man I feel like I’ll never forgive myself.

  • Excellent video, Terri! So straight and assertive and as always the message is delivered in such a loving way. Thanks for sharing!

  • I had to put up with abuse for 10 years in complete solitude and isolation. No one believed me that I was in that terrible situation and no one helped me. Living in foreign countries and being at his mercy to even get a phone to call my family or going out, didn’t leave me any chance to put up with the abuse, until God gave me the courage to either die and live in the street or stay with him and die in solitude and I left accepting to die in the street than being with him under one roof. Lord delivered me and saved me and regardless of him trying to kill me I’m still alive and finally separated. But I’m dealing with PTSD now and I hope that I can get back on my feet and overcome my emotions and regain willpower to live daily life. He is out and I know I’m safe but I’m still suffering. I tried even antidepressants, but I went through the most terrible serotonin syndrome condition that still after 7 months my brain is not recovered and my tremors did not go away. I wish you could give real technics, how to deal with PTSD and overcoming abuse and how to get back to life and how to love sunshine again and how to overcome fear of human.

  • I feel guilty because I had a fight with some friends and I said I would delete the apps and talk to them later so I can “install a game” and now I’m just gonna let the fire die down

  • Thank you for this -I had one nagging regret about a relationship from many years ago, that left me not only in bad shape emotionally at the time, but not really sure of what went wrong. By looking at it from your perspective and from the distance of all these years alter, I realized that for me, it didn’t feel like real love, but we both wanted to make something work, that just didn’t-so now I can let it go. I held on to it because some psychic told me I should, but it was not meant to be, evidently. But I did blame myself for years, for not being better at communication, tolerance of bad behavior ( like so many women are), and many other things. I can forgive myself at last.

  • To anyone who is in this comment section and feeling guilt and panicking, Relax, even if you did do some horrible things we are all human and we all make mistakes, you can learn to change in the future but you can not change the past, give yourself a break, Please Some random guy in the comment section

  • Because some people’s seem a bit worse that mine, I think I can say it. I had this guy that was bullying me in sixth grade right? So he kept telling me that I was fat (which made me stop eating but that’s no what this is about) and I looked up ways to stop a bully and there was a thingy that said tell him something false about you that he can bully you about without you caring. The next day I told him a was dyslexic and he snickered. I didn’t care but he spread the rumor and it became a thing. I felt so bad. Also ANOTHER kid was bullying my best friend and I told him something absolutely horrible that I can’t say here but he told on me and I was known as “the good kid” and denied it and I apologized to him a million times. That lie has followed me. I’m going into 8th grade. Help.

  • How can you trust your future relationships if you’ve attached negative resentment towards the parents for the ole “blind eye” thing they used back then? Thanks in advance.

  • You know… life is bigger than romantic relationships a lot of you guys need to quit being lazy with topics like this and talk about self blame in other areas of life. People have narc parents to raise and manipulate them to think in self blaming terms thats taken out into all areas of life, work friendship etc. I hate when everything is spoken about only in terms of intimiate relationships because those things are mostly choices

  • I can’t live with what I did. It’s been a year and a half. I was starting to come out of it only to find out a friend that was involved in situation came out publicly online to say I’m a POS and a F’n liar and everyone should stay away from me. Now I’m back to hating myself and wishing I could just die because having everyone looking and pointing at me in disgust is more than I can bear.

  • I hurt the person who created me his life and in the worst possible way, it sometimes feel that everything worse I did in a short span of time knowingly unknowingly covered every good faith and will I had within myself. Regrets are the worst feeling

  • Oof I’m literally here for the most stupid reason qwq. I said to someone I learned how to swear so I said for example, Mother Ducking Azz Bish. And now I realized how stupid that was ��. He said, okay now that just sounds dumb because it sounds like you are trying to swear. I was so embarrassed and also I don’t actually swear ��☹️��

  • I did something really bad while playing a game. I’ve tried making myself forget, changing my avatar, updating my status to apologize, literally anything possible. Idk if I can forgive myself. Sorry to those I hurt in Eviction Notice.

  • I liked my guitar teacher, he also liked me, and proposed me, but I said him no, because I knew we could never be together because my parents would never accept him in the future and I’m not gonna go against them so I did that and never told him that I always liked him.
    It might have made him feel like, his love was one-sided, but that was not the truth.
    I’m regreting now beacuse I said no and might have made him cry,but I did that for good for both of us.

  • Now I understand many go through this terrible guilt, I am not the only one, although this video is convincing, my soul is so adamant that says me to suffer, I prefer to suffer miserably with my thoughts than to forgive myself, gosh I live with this misery/ thoughts 24/7 my karma, very unfortunate

  • I’ve reconciled that what was done to me was done TO me and I had no power in it. That’s not why I hate myself. We are in control of our own actions and reactions. My reaction once I was free of the abuse was to abuse myself and self-sabotage. Once the abuse was gone, I couldn’t re-adjust to live a healthy life and still torment myself daily. I hate myself because I’m not strong enough to care about myself. I hate myself because I consistently act against my own best interest almost like an addiction. It feels completely involuntary but at the same time I know I’m choosing to suffer. Fuck me. I’ve earned what I’ve got at this point.

  • Who is guilty for going on a site from a vid then finds something that’s really bad but keeps watching it and then now you wish I could unsee it and you hate how you kept looking into it

  • WONDERFUL INTRODUCTION, but the missing bit that should have followed, is the description of the cutting edge, that we need to direct, being PERSPECTIVE, with the leading point, being the smallest, narrowest point, where perspective is formed. When mind is directed, along perspective, towards that smallest point, mind becomes stable. And thereby we become able to function, mentally, to learn, to discern truth, and the best way to do things. And ABOVE ALL, when directed within, able to identify the root of mental stability TRUTH “the kingdom of heaven, within” the, “iron rod”, the, “silver cord”.

  • I spent £50 behind my moms back. It may seem like nothing but I just feel so bad about it and I’m nervous to wake up and tell her what I did:(

  • It hurts because i don’t even know the person that i did the thing to. He could be fine but he could be hurting right now and ill never know

  • I always had this well-defined idea of who I was, and that was completely shattered as a result of me making that mistake. My trust for myself went down to zero, because I lost sight of what kind of person I really am.

    But…watching this video, I’m starting to think that maybe I gave too much credit to the me in the past. After all, what defines us can change so easily. So why do I think of the past version of myself(before the mistake) as some saint? She was more oblivious. More ignorant. More careless. I’ve gained so much more clarity after my mistake. The guilt is paralysing, yes. But I think I need to stop speaking of myself as a lost identity. And realise that I’m right here. In this moment. Ready to be defined again. And again. And again and again, as I make more mistakes.

    Each mistake gives me a chance to redefine myself. I think…I think I should stop being so scared of that.

  • Im getting past a relationship that has ended. This helps me a lot. And it has affirmed the things, the steps that I have been doing to ensure that I will heal and that my responsibility for healing is progressing. Thank you

  • Who else feels guilty about eating your single mom’s chocolate, your a sibling to 2 so she has to work 2 jobs to put a roof over our heads ����

  • I do think you should mention that studies prove that people view women as objects when they show more than 40 percent of their body.
    Its horrible but i think it should be shared. Use it or not. It could be useful to know

  • I just watched some Islam 5 year old get his head chopped off I’ve been on the verge of crying all day the guilt of the kid and his last movements

  • I can’t forgive myself��once I visited someone’s house and there was a baby and her big sis so I held that baby and I slipped my foot and the baby was hurt a lil bit and her sister was seeing me with anger but still she was asking that r u ok? After a while baby was coming back to me and then his sister took him away with seeing me with anger,so I can never forgive myself����

  • Hey, I’m a 14 year old, and I watched innapropriate videos. My parents have an easy way to access my history (I think) but haven’t said anything. I don’t know if they know but I’m scared to tell them

  • Excellent let this be a lesson for everyone life is so short forget anger. love and forgive quickly and apologise straight away. Because tomorrow isn’t promised. Peace out.

  • In always love ur talks sadhguru, thanks for reminding us of our intelligence, I’m masters in Neurological Disorders and I know how brain works, interesting to listen u

  • I’m feeling guilt cuz I made a cringe account when I was younger, and someone called me a loser on one of the videos. And I made a fake hate account out of myself. I forgot the passwords to all the accounts so pls help

  • Thank you. This explanation of self-blame helps me understand at a deeper level. The idea of flipping the question, “What did I do wrong?” Or “What is wrong with me?” is so brilliant! Instead ask “Is there something wrong in the relationship?” So helpful.

  • Thank you so much for making these videos. I have been power watching them. They are very, very helpful. I am going to order your book. Sending you good wishes and a lot of gratitude.

  • Sahdguru, I was doing the most, living my best life. Then ish got cray.
    What I do boo? -Her question translated for common teenagers haha.

  • I have done something really bad and I feel really guilty. I normally tell everything I do my mom, cause I know she won’t judge me for it and always says that it’s fine. Tho i feel like I also have to realize myself that it’s not actually that awful and I have to forgive myself, without always telling what I did other people. And that’s what I’m trying. I feel really depressed but I don’t wanna give up. Tho it’s reaaaally hard.

  • Whats fucked up about me is that i do everything i posibly can for my friends. Help them with money, food etc. Knowing that i lack on these suplies. I feel dumb for doing this but thers no chance for me to stop. I feel stupid for the people that i helped and in the end they talk bad about me. I feel like its ny fault.

  • i think what he is really saying is that there’s one voice you should listen to which is the voice of your intuition and your true self by honoring it exactly you will no longer have the need to satisfy or listen to anything else, you will be centered, self care!
    peace to every living soul❤️

  • I just hate and cringe of the mistake’s i did. I find it difficult in getting over it. It’s like I only realize it later on and I fully take on the blame since it is true it’s just that i find it difficult in apologizing since I’m not a well spoken type of person, i just stay quite and stutter if the person expects an answer.

  • After millions of years we got the complex brain to understand the world but with that brain we are understanding each other to defend ourselves.

  • Ive wasted so much of my life due to self hate and inaction. I hate myself for that. Ive hated my self for 10 years. I dont know how to stop being lazy and insecure

  • Last week me and my friend stole a toy from a kid that use to bully us and we smased it and painted it black then left it at there porch and every time my friend says something about it I want to through up I wish I did do it….

  • Your other video opened my eyes up to depression, and now youve saved me from drowning in guilt aswell.
    You’re incredibly smart and right about this. Thank you so much.

  • Microchip implants are real and serious. They are used to control the minds of intelligent people just to keep them docile from what they want to do and to the worst to destroy them. This is the truth!

  • The simplicity of what He says so logical so deep and so difficult to train our minds to make it this simple. Thank you Sadghuru for sharing your wisdom. I wish everyone focused on improving themselves instead of trying to change people and things around them.

  • It is hard not to blame yourself. I’ve had a alcoholic dad who died and also abused me verbally. Had some toxic friends so it went down and down. My mind tells me to isolate myself from who upset me and just keep blaming myself.

    Have a good day lovelies

  • People often call me disgusting (they used to call me cat instead). They say that I need to get help, well they aren’t helping. People are such hypocrites. No one understands that I’m extremely mentally unstable.

  • I have been blaming myself for being an overly emotional and highly sensitive person. I tend to get hurt easily so I have been experiencing many broken friendships because I tend to express my hurts out to them since I don’t wish to hold on to any hard feelings. However, I failed to consider that people dislike confrontation so they blamed me for how I reacted instead of apologising to me. Eventually, I became the one who apologised to people. I couldn’t bear the blames that people have put on me so it makes me feel like it’s all my fault. People have been criticising me and judging me of what kind of a person I am, making me feel like I don’t deserve a friend. I feel so devastated and depressed. It seems like everyone hates me.

  • I dont own a television nor do I participate in social media. I watch YouTube so that I can choose what I am exposed to. I prefer to watch your videos instead.

  • Memories are horrible if only you could truly forget everything and move forward. “But as soon as you close your eyes the darkness welcomes you back from the light.”

  • Thank you! Sometimes even seemingly small traumas can feed self blame loops, helping understand why we do it is a great way of making them stop and reclaiming our power!

  • i apologised to the person i hurt and they excepted it, yet i still feel so bad. i know i made them feel upset, and i dont want anyone to feel that way.

  • Alot of times people who continue to date / hook up with abusers in general is because they subconsciously seek validation from them, generally very empathic people tend to fall for this and are what the abusers look for. Do yourself a favor especially if you’re young and just starting to date so you dont end up traumatized. You dont need validation from anyone!! Find someone whos gonna strive to make you the best version of yourself! Also study people closely and look for subtle lack of empathy in people / how manipulative they are

  • I betrayed my parents’ trust and I told what i did. I can’t stop feeling guilty. I cannot sleep normaly. I am trying to fix my mistakes.

  • Sadhguru who is the inner guru, higher self, UNTAR YAMIN and THE RULER WITHIN?????????????WITHIN OUR TINY UNIVERSE WE HAVE IN OUR BODY???????

  • Anyone having a hard time accepting the fact that everyone isn’t proud of something they have done and you feel like you’re the only one who makes mistakes?

  • Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,

    Phillipians 3:13

    The past already happened. You cannot change the past, but you can change in the future.

  • I do let things bother me. And Annoy me. I always have. I shouldn’t be that way. I don’t want to be that way anymore. Those issues I think are there probably isn’t. I guess that’s where insecurities come in. I want to change that. And feel Peace and Love. I need you.

  • i messed up and no one is listening to me. i have no right to cry since i did this to myself. i made such a stupid mistake and i don’t think i’ll ever forgive myself

  • Thank you for your video.  This really resonated with me.  However, I have found it difficult, no impossible, to connect physically with my husband and have any sexual intimacy because of his behavior.  I rarely get affection.  He says he would give affection if we had more physical intimacy.  Do I have a sexual issue or is this another ploy at gaslighting?  I’m trying to keep an open mind.

  • I’ve been such a horrible person and a bully and I hate myself for it. I can’t sleep anymore because of stuff I’ve done in the past

  • When instart listend to saghuru inalways apply to aply or say to myself insaid i only do the right things bcoz right thinhs nothing happen to you when i always out that in my mind i lost my fear.. my fear that how if oneday i regret wjatbis my dicission.. but when i start to apply myself thay i only do the right thinhs i feel 80% I WONT REHRET IN THE FUTURE IF WHAT i dicide i wont fear anymore..

    And day by the i always say to myself that whatever happen to my life even good or bad i said to my self i will accept it and appricaiye it and tahnkful always to God even good or bad happen..when i apply that to kysel to my mind i less worry amd i feel become a positive slowly hy slowly bcoz iam the person that many worry many fears and very negative thinker hut when i start to.listend sadghuru my life is slowly change day by day bcoz of sadghuru words..

    Thamk u sadghuro yoi chanhe my life slowly by slowly in a positive way.. bcoz of sadghuru words i learn to love and appriciate the nature which is make me feel heal and feeling positive.

  • I once told someone what someone else had done to me and they basically told me I should have had contol over it. So I suggest you would have to be wise in who you share information to when getting help. So ultimately after that I looked for reasons, but now I know how to say I had no control over the othed persons actions.

  • ok this might be stupid, but i stole a hat that i wanted from my step brother he didn’t look like he was wearing it but i still feel like i hurt him

  • I hurt a family member that I was very close to, and it’s also kids involved that’s what makes it worse.. it’s been Harding accepting what I did was wrong.. I felt so cold-hearted.. I basically told my family member they could move in with their kids and 2 days later I asked if they had somewhere else to go.. and they left. I’m a person who just went through homelessness was sleeping in my car all type of stuff that’s why it’s really messing me up I’ve been in tht situation.. and I also argued with my family at first instead of admitting my wrong. Since then I have apologized and forgiven myself but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it, wishing I had done things differently �� I feel beyond terrible.

  • I feel guilty because i tried to stop myself for doing the mistake. But my reasoning weaken and while i did the mistake, i was happy. If possible, i was the most happiest in my life. But what i did was wrong. There is no looking behind it.

  • Thank you for this video! You said hard hitting truths that I needed to hear. It’s been two months since my first break up and I’ve been filled with so much regrets, blaming myself or having thoughts of “what could have been.” I could have easily accepted that my ex cheated on me and I’m the victim, but I decided to look deeper into our relationship. I saw a not so perfect union filled with codependency, lack of self-respect, and constant people pleasing on my part (my 50%). Sadly, thinking about all my wrongdoings or my faults wasn’t getting me anywhere and I just hated myself more about what I did.

    Then I found your video. I learned to look at my wrongdoings (gems) as lessons that I needed to learn from this breakup. These lessons taught me what I need to work on to be a better version of me. After this video, I already forgave my ex for what he did to me and let him go. I learned to not hold onto things that wasn’t holding onto me. Now I’m starting to forgive myself and treat myself kinder because I didn’t know any better and I’m doing the best I can do with what I know now. Thank you for your wise words, advice and please continue making more videos! You’re helping broken hearts out there!

  • This video resonates with me so much! I wouldn’t have realized what was going on behind the scenes of my life if it hadn’t been for my best friend and her husband moving here and starting to kind of point out weird things, things they found odd or strange about my relationship with my parents. A great example is that I was never comfortable receiving gifts from anyone because it always carried a sense of heavy obligation to that person with it. When my best friend and her husband came into a little money and splurged on me as well as themselves, I was in a state of shock and so my best friend asked me, “What’s going on? Are you okay?” I replied with something to the effect of not knowing and being nervous about what I’m going to owe them for this. She and her husband both dismissed that as ridiculous, explaining what giving a gift means to them, which was the same definition I got verbally but the actions behind those words communicated the exact opposite. It never occurred to me that my family was different from other families, or to question my own definition of love from a perspective outside of what I’ve experienced.

    When I was with my ex-husband I had an epiphany like this, too, because the accusation was so ridiculous that I couldn’t accept it. It would not compute, so to speak. We had gotten in an argument and I decided to go for a walk. When I came back, he had carved the word “pain” in 2-inch letters on his left forearm with a knife and he said, straight-faced, “Look what you made me do.” I was so confused at first that I wasn’t sure how to react, but it wouldn’t stop bothering me. I thought about it and thought about it, and the more I did, the more ridiculous the idea became that him carving into his own arm while I wasn’t even there was my fault. It was a good turning point and led to a more accurate perception of what was really going on. For the first year or so of our marriage, I blamed myself for everything. His outbursts (if I didn’t have dinner ready or there was laundry left to fold, for example), his violence, his drunkenness, his waving a loaded gun around and talking like a gang banger even though he was military, all of it. I thought I was doing something wrong as a wife. How ridiculous!

    I hope to now work through some of the less extreme aspects of this, the more subtle layers of epiphany, so to speak =). Thank you for shedding more light on this topic!


  • I just feel like my past makes me feel guilty and I don’t deserve to be happy and just wish I could of known better at that time but I didn’t

  • I feel like such a asshole to my dad. Hes done so much for me when I was younger and I never appreciated it. I cant stop crying. Help

  • I was refusing to let go and get over it because I wanted her to come back, stop hurting me, fix it and heal me. I didn’t even want to be with her or get to know her again or even try. I just wanted her to be sorry and come back and fix it. Love me and find me worthy so didn’t have to feel unworthy. I feel a bit silly.

  • I just traded a level 80 zamazenta without a rusted shield from a throw away profile to get a level 100 zacain with a rusted sword and I feel very bad for it

  • My divorce was in 2007. My husband slept with a friend who I let live in our home because she said her husband was being abusive. I had to go out of town because my mom was having surgery. While I was gone my husband called and told me what happened and asked if I could forgive him and I said yes we would work on it. After I got home I found out she had gotten pregnant by my husband. I couldn’t stay. I moved back to CA, he called several times to ask if there was some way to make it work. I couldn’t do it so she moved back in with him and once our divorce went through they got married. I still hold a great deal of anger and sadness that I was betrayed by not only my husband but, a friend I tried to help. We had a good marriage and I realize he made a mistake however, I couldn’t live the rest of my life worrying about them cheating together. He and I had no children together so he had a connection forever with this woman that he and I didn’t even have.

  • Sir, if you reply, my question, If I just remember the stuff in the past, and learn my lesson, may that make it better? Second question, If I just think it through an always get the right position or right thing, we’ll that help me improve?

  • Regret is inevitable

    I have been stuck in all my previous relationships I have actually not gotten over any of them. Def avoidance. Changing is key and formgivning yourself for the ones you have hurt and the ones who hurt you bad.

  • Is there a way to get my mother into therapy? I’ve been begging her since I was 17. She did finally see a psychologist w/ me once in 2007, but the psychologist was somewhat confrontative with her, and my mother’s response was to say she wasn’t coming back and then walk out. My mother then continued therapy w/ this psychologist on her own and then told everything that the psychologist told her I should have been an only child. I was also seeing this psychologist on my own, and when I heard this, I contacted the psychologist to ask her if she said this, and she said she absolutely did NOT say this. My mother is still going around saying this. My mother has been emotionally abusive my entire life and has scapegoated me and cut me off for years at a time bc I could not attend my sister’s bridal shower because of a schedule conflict. I believe my mother is also a functional alcoholic. I have a sister who is her golden child, who is essentially a clone of her. The psychologist I / we saw at that time (I’ve been in therapy to cope w/ her since college) told me that my mother compares herself to me and feels inadequate even if I’m not even around or if I’m around and am not even saying anything.

  • I am a guy, so it is not easy taking relationship advice from a woman. Especially because I have been taken for granted in every relationship I have had with WOMEN. But Terri is RIGHT ON! What do I gain by staying STUCK? Nothing. I want to move on, but the “world” seems to come against it. I have been hurt by narcissistic women and control freaks because I have lept into “unsafe” relationships…all to divorcees with baggage. I wonder when MY turn will come to find the love of my life where it is a genuine TWO WAY STREET. I have given so much in my life and gotten little in return. I will watch this and other videos from Ms. Cole and see if I can’t get to the bottom of it all and move on. Thanks, Terri!

  • i just made a insensitive joke online and no one really saw it but i still feel guilty. i apologized, deleted it and instead of worrying about my guilt, i’m going to learn from it and realize that the joke was offensive and why, and not to joke about it again. i’m not a bad person, i just said the wrong thing.

  • I’m moving on out of a relationship. Deciding to forgive and restrenthen me. Turn into like a sibling that’s not in the same setting with the toxic people but with others and a different schedule. I feel that my power is returning and that fresh outlook I had. I like this episode. Coaching is great! I’m also trying that Epsom Salt type bath to relieve stress. It really work.

  • I keep blaming myself for what happened, and It makes me feel really bad. I am doing EMDR and i am starting to work this with my therapist. I hope i process It correctly. Thank you again for sharing. It makes me feel less alone and gives me hope seeing you work through the same issus. I admire you! Sorry for my spelling, english is not my mother language.

  • I’m watching this with tears in my eyes n I really want to thank you I’ve not been able to get over my ex we broke up not bcoz he cheated on me or I was unfaithful but the problem was that I told something which has hurt him very badly but he instead of talking to me about the problem told that to his best friend (girl bestie) she called me n blamed me for everything she was just yelling at me as if I was the worst person on earth n that his friend did ntg wrong they made a plan to fool me when I called him to have a talk he told me that he got married after our break up n he didn’t even talked to me he asked his fake wife (his girl bestie) to talk to me he must’ve thought that I don’t even deserve to talk to him it tore me apart after hearing the news about his marriage I can’t just explain how bad it felt

  • Holy holy. I’m so grateful for these videos! I was abused by a narc parent for 10+ years and am in a really good marriage now. I about started crying again. I hope that with these tips and watching more I can improve my relationship and start healing the hurt child within if you will. For me it’s more like “how am I really feeling? How do I communicate this feeling constructively? How do I reprogram my thoughts to be constructive instead of self-destructive?” Because when I feel like I’ve failed I self destruct completely and I don’t want to self destruct anymore. Thank you so much!!

  • Hi,so interesting topic.
    Have been looking for someone to clear my mind. My wife is so strange I have been living for 8years in total confusion.her childhood was not good.she is from former eastern communists country. Am from Black Africa.she was raised by an abusive dad and (now as i understand a codependent mum)and submissive mum.she has an elder sis who is so wife was the one who fought off her drunken dad from abusing her mum or big sis.
    Now she is so scared of everything. Every sudden movement around her sets a panick attack.she wakes up at night in nightmares that i have run away.this is for all these so confused bcos she is also very aggressive and defensive if under accusation or challenge she doesn’t abuse me but she tried when we started but I am a very strong personality.I was raised in a middle class household with everything i needed as a child and went to the best schools.but she had the opposite of that as a child so i try to always help her.we kkve each other to optimum(dont jnow what that means)we have a 4 year old daughter who is picking her traits and thats when i started looking for help and came accross this video.
    I just need help to make me understand her educational background dealt with some child psychology so I thought i handled it but am now lost.she is also very detatched with some situations whereby everyone else will crumble.she says its to protect her mind which i thjnk its true bcos she deals very badly with trauma.doesnt watch anything with violence and above all doesnt want help.never met abyone who smokes a cig every 5mins or 10mins.not kidding. Drinks heavily but has reduced since we had my daughter.couldn’t even stop smoking during pregnancy. This caused me nightmares bcos I am Versed in the effects of smoking while pregnant.she admires my understanding of life and the way i approach things with calm but says she cant be like that.
    Very nice person deep down but am so worried now as we age bcos she has not calmed down with tge fears and anxiety.and doesnt open up easily. Took me 4 years b4 ever telling me her father was abusive.lost also her parents in a space of 5 years both to cancer.
    Sorry for the length.its a desperate soul crying oyt for help.
    Best regards to all.thanks

  • The day I started listening to Sadhguru, my life changed for the better. I am now understanding the state of BEING and living Consciously. Thank you and lots of love from Kenya ������������

  • I was watching something when i was like 12 and it was a video of people getting trolled by names in like shortcuts and i did it to someone and didnt think of what i said and it was terrible and they said “wtf is wrong with you” and i thought about it and felt so stupid and bad and said sorry and they blocked ne from their stream and it was on my brothers account and i dont want them to look at me a other way i was being stupid i just feel bad.

  • The little bit with “if it had happened to someone else, whould you blame them?” Made me stop and think about things. This is a good question to ask.

  • ive lost the best friend ive ever had. ill probably never meet someone like her again, and it hurts so so so badly. i just want to hear her laugh again, to play video games with her again, but that’s almost definitely never going to happen. im so broken and hurt, i don’t know what to do. i dont deserve to hear her laugh or to spend time with her. i made such a huge, massive mistake. ive never regretted something more in my whole entire life. i wish it wasnt this way, but it is. i just hope one day, i can make it up to her. she showed me kindness when no one else was there. she brought me hope and happiness when i was just empty and angry. now im just overcome by rage, self hatred, guit, and overwhelming sadness. im so very alone.

  • Every time I think bout what I did I feel really guilty because I quit the baseball team and I was important to the team and after I quit my coach disbanded the team. I feel so sorry for what I did. There were so much passionate people on the team and especially the coach but I just broke it up��

  • My reason for being here is my brother was making a map in Roblox and I asked him to save just to be safe but he accidentally loaded his save and lost an hour of progress… he broke down immediately and I still feel so bad about it

  • You’re advice is lovingly given and very understanding of how it should be.
    It is difficult to do/see and feel it in that way. That’s a long trip but neccesary to heal inside.
    Everything you don’t heal inside you take with you.
    A wound stays a wound and is asking for healing.
    So if you not heal it it stays open. Life for me is about healing yourself. If the inside is a puzzle of how do i work. You go look outside for the pieces that fit you’re puzzle. Everybody has got something for you but you should be a finished puzzle inside. So if you meet someone and it goes that should be ok because the puzzle stays ok. We are a puzzle and we all look for the pieces outside. Try and make a puzzle out of you’re life. Maybe one day you like you’re own puzzle and it will finish and you can create a new puzzle. Life changes every single day. Nothing stays the same. Learn to let go and learn to keep what you have. Each person is a mystery. One big puzzle��

  • Ive been watching these videos from old to new and there is always some nugget if wisdom that stops me in my tracks and makes me think /feel, alot of times to tears. What hits me hardest in this video is that thorough all the therapy, self help books Ive plowed through, never do they say “Hey, this is hard and requires maintenance.” So i self talk myself into blaming myself for the abuse, all the percived failures of the tools i used, and the fact that i can’t seem to stay out of the hole. You gently remind me that it isn’t my fault and it’s OK to be where i am right now and it is a struggle. Thank you for helping me validate myself and not feel so alone.

  • So helpful! I went to the dentist yesterday and she was so rude and dismissive to me. I walked out thinking “why do I repulse people”…”I dressed nice, I look ok… I have been doing this for years. Thank you!

  • That is absolutely the case for me. This is how my internal argument goes every time:

    “What happened to me was my fault.”
    “No it wasn’t.”
    “If I had never gone there, it never would’ve happened.”
    “You didn’t know that was going to happen, or else you wouldn’t have gone there.”
    “True, but after it became a pattern, I still just kept going.”
    “That’s because you believe the good in people. Also you were 14, naive, and didn’t know what to do. This was basically all you knew and if it’d been your fault, you wouldn’t be in therapy—you’d be in jail.”
    “But I still feel like it’s my fault. I know I didn’t want what happened, but I could’ve told my someone.”
    “Just because you kept it to yourself for a while doesn’t change things. Let’s say you told Mom after the first time it happened. You’d still be blaming yourself for that one time, when none of it was your fault.”
    “It’s just hard to believe the good about myself.”

    And this can either continue on for a much longer time, or I make it stop, it just depends on how I’m feeling and doing that day. It’s absolutely a control thing, because I never feel like I have control over anything and that saddens me

  • This made me wonder, what is a healthy approach and time frame to let yourself heal from heartache, if it is in the more recent past?

  • there’s a massive knot in my stomach whenever i think about the past. i cant get over it and now things will never be the same. its all my fault and i can never get it back.

  • Thanks Teri I really needed to see this video and do the questions and then figure out wot my answers mean ☺️ could you please do a video on why as dumpees we must focus on letting go and getting rid of resentment before my ex dumped me it was Him that couldn’t want to rekindle due to the resentment and baggage he felt with me and all the negative emotions.

    I’d tell him I’m willing to forgo all the bad stuff in our marriage wipe it clean but we look at our mistakes as learning and development areas for both of us so we figure out our trigger points and how to resolve conflict more effectively. I wanted to resolve old hurts so we could heal together but for him he felt no willingness to do so and preferred doing it on his own or to rather shove it under the rug I think.

    So how true is it if I’m saying he can’t let go? He couldn’t stop resenting me? He feels by him leaving he is doing that forgetting the past not wanting to hold on and move on whereas I feel now I need to accept his decision and move on but always feel he was the one that couldn’t let go? So before I could let go and he couldn’t?

    Now he left and got what he wanted (to end the marriage) and I can’t let go of him not wanting to let go in the first place? It’s a horrible cycle but one I won’t get so now I turn to videos to you so that one day I won’t be like the woman you spoke about 20yrs down the line. Tho I think I have done a lot of work on myself, ito grieving and figuring out why it ended, my role and therapy tons of books and courses and trying to become a better version of myself. For me to start fixing myself and having the best relationship with myself.

    To love myself, regret but forgive myself for my mistakes by owning it and learning from it so I don’t ever do it again and ensuring my pain isn’t in vain.

    It isn’t easy when I still have to see him and realize he’s in same stagnant space still playing victim as if I was this super evil wife who took advantage of him.

    It was only his experience and his hurt that mattered no one ever questioned me about my pain and my hurt because everyone was together with me trying to save and fix things since he was the one walking it had to be me and my fault right? Even I believed that so much of myself because his opinion of me still matters so much and I still seek that validation at times from him.

    I realize just what an injustice I did to myself and how much respect I held for myself when he was going through the break up process. The funny part is while I still hurt and the pain will come in waves and I can manage my thoughts better I try to do so by being empathetic towards him. On the objective side I realize he probably feels so angry at himself for also valuing himself so little that all he did was to seek his self worth and approval from me and when I didn’t give him wot he wanted he felt he was giving giving his all in this marriage wout getting anything back.

    I realize now he resents me so much coz he projected so much of wot I had no clue about from his childhood on to me. But when I keep trying to tell him to let it go and see me in a different light he won’t he cannot let go of his resentment towards me which is his pain associated with me which is I’m a constant reminder to him of how little he valued himself he lost himself. Now he had to leave to go find himself and start a fresh new chapter. I feel tho he never wanted to get to therapy to deal with his pain or his resentment for me ��.

    Hope to see more videos ��

  • An incredible video one of the best on YouTube! You did an excellent job talking to your audience in such a calm, considerate and professional manner. Everything you said are true particularly your last comment about how people prefer the ‘safety’ of being stuck instead of moving on and change! Hope you are well and safe x

  • I have a very unhealthy self blaming condition…. I literally blame myself for every single thing in my life…. But this helped a bit

  • This reminds me why I stopped listening to sadhguru: He didn’t answer her questions. He just made jokes and pretty much said that people have highly sophisticated technology(the Mind) but didn’t give her a solution to her mental torture! She has a light form of psychosis. Most likely from some form of trauma coupled with self image problems!!!

  • This truth is one I’ve been dancing around ever since the fall out after the aftermath syndrome started. my psychotherapist hinted at it… I’ve seen it in my subconscious but I didn’t think that that really would be the root seemed too simplistic.. I was afraid to look at the lack of control as an issue I was afraid it would make it seem like I was the narcissist. it seemed like it would be something deeper and crazier like some horrific scene from my childhood but even the narcissist does what he does because he must have control so now that I’ve experienced the pain of the loss of it.. I can understand why he does what he does… I still hate him and want him to burn in hell… I’m so glad I found you video to confirm that maybe the deepest fear I had wasn’t true and this is something while horrific. I can live with & come out of. Blessings & thank u

  • hate, rage, revenge are not girls (and nice good boys) stuff! they ‘re labeled as negative to criminal!

    switch from yoga, ballet spa’s, beauty salons to martial arts,shooting club, hunting defend yourself!
    (you don’t need to stop yoga ballet classes and spa’s!)

    Revenge doesn’t mean killing them!
    Hit them financial or legal!

    we freeze because of not having a marines combattraining! Girls, nice boys geeks and nerds! the only selfblame is!? he or she doent be in a state of R.I.P. or in jail!

  • i find your videos very informative thank you. I’m currently struggling with mental health issues i believe to be closely related to long term mental abuse from my narcissistic parents. I’m dealing with ptsd and gad like symptoms and trying to stay off drugs while living under the thumb of my parents. My mental state has deteriorated and being self sufficient and social is a difficult prospect rite now. Unfortunately my parents seem to thrive off my mental anguish and want to do everything they can to keep me suffering and in their possession. To make matters worse my mom is dying of cancer and I’m torn between trying to spend time with her and withstand her torment or leave her alone until she dies and live with the potential guilt of that. Every day is a fucking a struggle to keep sane man its tuff. And of course my Life development coach “helping” me get sober is being manipulative and triggering me, and has npd like traits. BUT recently do to videos like these I’ve finally come to the realization of who these people are and my only goal is to be free from this shit and be mentally stable… i wish these people would fucking die I’m consumed by hate… anyways sorry for the ramble thanks again

  • Was contemplating whether I was gonna leave this comment but what the heck. The things I did were so bad and I hate myself for doing it. I was 16 when I did them and now I’m 19. I get anxious and panic attacks from thinking about it (and even had some suicidal thoughts in the past because of it) and the worst part is that the person I did these things too doesn’t even know I did it and they are my friend. I just hate that i wouldn’t be feeling this way now had I not been such a stupid idiot. I’m not sure what to do except pray about it (I am a Christian). I wanna tell my friend and ask for forgiveness but what I did is so weird to admit to:/ It’s for this same reason that I can’t tell other friends about what I’ve done when I want to seek advice about my feelings. I just hate myself so much for doing what I did but there’s nothing I can do about it now. There is a chance I might be magnifying what I did but it was still wrong af and I just hate that I did it because it’s so out of character for me ��

  • The girl just has low self esteem because of school and family running her down. She has been thought to expect that things will fall apart when things are going well. My mother was that way. His answer is broader.

  • Why do I have to feel bad about doing things that I Love. I feel like I have to stop doing them to make others happy. Why the heck do I feel that way sometimes?? Why…..I am suppose to make myself Happy am I not???����Angry at myself. Not going to feel bad anymore.

  • Once again Sadhguru did not answer the question….Was this question funny???…..I don’t understand why a set of dump people are clapping on that…..I want a straight answer….Can anyone give me a clear straight answer???

  • Everyone in the comments are feeling guilty for really bad things they did. But I’m here because I cut a bit of my hair of and I think my mom is gonna give out ��

  • 8:17 This reminds me of a time I was on a long drive to Los Angeles. I was alone on the open road in my ’79 El Camino, & feeling miserable.
    I decided it was up to me if I was going to have a good drive or a bad drive, so I threw in a Bob Marley CD and started singing and dancing with the windows down, wind blowing my hair. Soon enough a car came up and we were roaddogz all the way to L.A., letting each other pass and waving at each other, smiling. That never would have happened if I hadn’t decided to let my hair down and be joyful for what I had

  • I enjoy listening to Sadhguru. I don’t know a lot about his spiritual beliefs, though. Does Saghguru consider himself an atheist? Or does he believe in God, but your life is your own making? Thank you.

  • I hurt the love of my life, and when I think about the horrible things I said to her, I just question who I am. When I think of it all I feel is pain.

  • I very much enjoy Sadhguru and his teachings, especially the ones written in Inner Engineering. Some of his answers though go so astray, away from the question imo

  • I did so many mistakes in the past, esp. to my friends / relatives whom I had misunderstanding with. I know it’s my fault, tho I was hurt because of them but I accept the fact that most of it was my fault.

    Now, those memories were haunting me. I want to ask for forgiveness, but I’m shy because it happened long time ago. I should’ve ask forgiveness years ago…

    I really don’t know what to do. I’m always thinking about it �� I’m anxious and depressed

  • i’m angry at myself because i made stupid decisions that hurt me and my self esteem, and it makes me feel guilty because i did it to myself. but at the end of the day we all make mistakes because we aren’t perfect. and we can’t turn back time but we can prevent these mistakes from repeating in the future. all we can do is forgive ourselves and learn from our mistakes.

  • ….the outcome seeming “bad” isn’t what makes the act ok or not. there is right action and wrong action. wrong can create relatively “good” outcome, and right actions can even lead to seemingly undesirable outcomes!


  • I Hurt someone i Care about, she didnt do anything i lost my temper and lashed Out at her since she didnt have the Same Feelings i Had for her. Now she doesnt want to have anything to do with me anymore. It hurts a Lot, i apologized but she wont have it. Im depressed, i didnt want to Hurt her Like this, but i did and cant make it better

  • As a child survivor of Domestic Violence and the mother of 2 children who are survivors of sexual abuse I have been crippled by fearful response to everything. I’ve lost jobs, relationships and peace in my life because of how triggered I become as I develop fear from anything. This video helped me understand the guilt I carry because I wasn’t there to protect my children.

  • I made a decision so bad it ruined my life and made me a social pariah and honestly i just want people to forgive me and i want people to know that i will never make mistakes that bad ever again i was a naive and dumb teenager and young adult but i want to try to move on from my past and not feel this hurt anymore.

  • This sounds silly but i feel guilty for missing my bus…i should be at school now, but i’m not because my bus came earlier today and so i missed it….the problem is that i’m not sure if it came earlier or not…so i’m feeling more nervous than guilty because if didn’t came earlier and my watch was just off, i’ll get in big trouble so yeah…

  • I lost many Chances that might make my life happy Because I didn’t think well. I am trying to forgive myself so desperately Because I can no longer bear this feeling anymore

  • When lost soul don’t like to born in body and flesh and the baby born the rope that gives food to baby tie it neck that’s why pregnant women drink bitter melon too because Satan witches don’t like the baby born to transfer lost soul to a body. But our midwife always know how to turn it.

  • Thank you for your perspective. I think you are absolutely right. If I may be permitted, I’d like to expound on this a little further by describing my own situation. I believe when we blame ourselves when we shouldn’t (for situations let’s say involving another person), we are assuming the blame because we know (even if it’s not conscious) that we cannot change the other person. We know we can only change ourselves. In my situation, I experienced the loss of a romantic relationship. My girlfriend behaved in ways that she even admitted were “crazy” at times. She wanted me to accept her behavior as understandable… even justifiable. Yet, she really didn’t extend that courtesy to me. At least, I feel, to the extent that communication shouldn’t have broken down, and the relationship simply discarded. The funny thing is (though it’s really not funny) she never apologized for the HURT she caused me. In her words, she only apologized for “mistakes” she made with me. I felt she really didn’t take responsibility for how her behavior hurt my feelings. I know some will say, no one is responsible for our feelings. I understand that position, but I respectfully disagree to an extent. I feel…if she hadn’t behaved in the way that she did, I wouldn’t have reacted the way that I did, and not feel what I felt. I think certainly our actions DO influence other’s reactions. I think we CAN hurt other people’s feelings. I think we all know this. I think that is part of human nature. I believe she should feel some responsibility for how her actions affect my reactions. I think this is also true regarding me to her. I don’t think it is a natural response to say that someone can treat another like crap, and it is simply up to the other to not react to it, and let it not hurt them. I feel sometimes that is asking too much out of someone. I think we need to realize our behavior can sometimes be very damaging to another, and we need to be sensitive to that. It comes back to accepting responsibility for our role in a relationship. She went so far as to tell me what I was feeling… what I wanted… and what I had failed to give, and do for her. She didn’t even ask me how I felt. She just proceeded to TELL me what I felt… as if she knew what was inside of me. Everything was about her needs, and wants. I started to question everything about my behavior. I certainly felt a total loss of control of my reality. Because I wanted to “fix the problem”… I didn’t want to lose her… I started believing everything I felt about myself was wrong, and everything she said about me was right. I did this even though I knew this way of thinking wasn’t true! It was totally bizarre! As a result, I placed myself under a tremendous amount of emotional stress. I began to feel a real sense of helplessness and emotional pain. I wanted this pain to go away so badly, I was willing to go to the extent of erroneously accepting ALL the blame. My “self talk” became awful. Because of this, I rationalized… if she can’t see what is obvious to me, there must be something wrong with my point of view, and nothing wrong with her’s. It must ALL be my fault. By accepting all the blame, I now have a chance to fix the problem, because I can only fix myself. But, now I created a path based on a faulty premise: I was entirely the problem. I believed, if the relationship had had any chance, everything that needed to be fixed concerned only me. I now know this is not true. Yet, I was willing to believe this because I wanted to regain control of some sense of what I believed was real. It’s been a long, tough road, but I hope I am back on a better path. Thank you for listening.

  • I feel like a hurt myself, like drug and drinking too much, I just keep thinking of something to do to help my self in some way, like drink a lot of water or eat something healthy. Or do something productive like clean up, crappy feeling, ugh. And now I can’t sleep, makes it worse cause by not sleeping I feel I’m not being healthy. I’ve spend my money foolishly. Addiction is hard. Feels better tho now that I’ve talked about it, nice video.

  • Brooo I accidentally left someone by accident after I said I would give them about a diamond pickaxe for a diamond chest plate I could no Give the pick axe cuz I lost connection and I feel bad

  • I feel guilty because.. I told my dog to shut up.. and I feel like my mom thought that i told her to shut up. I saw her face sadden up a bit. (We were kind of arguing beforehand) She does so much for her. And the last thing I want her for her to come home annoyed because of me and my Siblings constantly arguing. I feel like this is dumb LMKA srry ��✋��

  • I find the internalisation of that abuser’s voice to be more damaging as it can go underground… into the background… unnoticed.

  • I feel guilty because I lost my phone and hid the fact for 1 week and my parents asked me about my phone I asked my little brother if he has my phone and then blamed him for losing my phone and he doesn’t understand what’s going on and it was very recent

  • I feel guilt for every aspect of my life.When my fiance says i don’t get enough time with you, i blame myself even though we are on lockdown and i didnt order it. When my mum ignores me, i blame myself for not being her ideal daughter.i could go 36 and from a broken home.I believe that I’m kind but i never knew how to be proud of me.I go on and on about how stupid i am, how unworthy. My life is so lonely and i don’t have friends to talk to.Ppl look at me like i do like I’m fun and the life of the party.but no if i look at my phone, i don’t have any one i can call to talk to.If i don’t go out with my fiance, i sit at home alone.My world is so silent.even when there is noise and crowds, i could feel the silence crawling on my skin.

  • In the Summer of 1993 I got assaulted twice and a third time of Christmas that year. This a was a false friend at my house in my room. Another person constantly harassed me in high school and touched me in places I didn’t want to be touched. He also used a slur towards me even though I’m straight. I feel so ashamed and started saying I hate myself.

  • yall are traumatized while im here guilty for accidentally said a bad word in roblox 4 years ago…

    i dont play roblox anymore im just scared

  • Oh man a Doc. I have a very serious question about something. Its a smell. I have known 2 people that posses the same smell on a bad day for them. It’s not a joke it very scary to me. I’m 9 years into this marriage and just now learning about personality disorders. the other person I knew was a co worker but it is the exact same smell accompanied by a certain look on their face. To much of a coincidents to not have an explanation.

  • I think step one is identifying and understanding of what happened to me. as a child I did not recognize it as abuse it took over 8 years before I was able to identify by putting each traumatic incident by each traumatic incident together and when I realized it was intentional it was devastating