How you can Manage Defiant Behavior


How To Deal With Child With ODD

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Recognising and managing oppositional defiant disorder

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder & Conduct Disorder

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Tips for Managing Oppositional Defiant Disorder | Animated Video from Brain Balance

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Here’s the Perfect Strategy for The Child Who Has Oppositional Defiant Disorder!

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What can be done about Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

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How To Deal With A Stubborn Defiant Child

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How to Manage Defiance in Children Set Expectations. Make sure that you’ve been clear enough about the rules and chores of the house, and that they are Get to the Root of the Behavior. Look for causes and triggers and try to keep track of your child’s defiance.

Is there a Set your Child Up for. Managing a defiant employee isn’t easy. To get the best from them, try three tactics. You might be able to adjust their job responsibilities to leverage their strengths.

Parenting that works for ‘normal’ children does not work for defiant children or teenagers. First, be kind to yourself; this is hard. Get enough sleep, maintain your supportive relationships (spouse or partner, children, friends), schedule breaks and getaways, and guard your physical and emotional health.

Left to fester, defiant behavior can grow and lead to resentment and frustration among staffers. Address insubordinate behavior as soon as it arises by counseling the problem employee. In some instances, a staffer might be unaware of how his behavior is perceived by others. Set up expectations ahead of time and allow your child to earn privileges for following those expectations. This is much more effective for encouraging compliance than punishing your child or taking away privileges when they don’t do what you want them to do.

Let your child have a say in what they want to work for. In an attempt to control, they engage in negative behavior, which is defiant, disrespectful and designed to make the authority figure loose his temper. Dealing with an adult with oppositional defiance requires a well-thought out action plan and careful monitoring. The best thing you can do to prepare for defiant behavior is to have a strong classroom community. This classroom community will reinforce rules and norms, encourage each other, and make defiance less likely.

Steps to Help Lessen a Child’s Oppositional Behaviors Self-Care. It may seem odd to put self-care first in this list of steps for improving your child’s behavior, but Delay Your Response. Defiant behavior can take a toll on even the most patient of people. In moments of frustration, it Catch.

Do Try and Identify the Trigger that Causes Behavior Change After spending some time with a patient who has dementia, caregivers may be in a position to identify some of the things that make dementia sufferers yell, get physical, or change their mood. For some, it may be something simple such as taking a bath or even getting dressed. of hostile and disobedient behavior.

If you identify four or more of the following behaviors in your child that cause problems at home, school, and other environments, which have lasted six months or more, take your child to a therapist to see if he fits a formal diagnosi.

List of related literature:

Defiant Behavior Defiant behavior can create conflict.

“Management and Leadership for Nurse Administrators” by Linda Roussel, Russell C. Swansburg, Richard J. Swansburg
from Management and Leadership for Nurse Administrators
by Linda Roussel, Russell C. Swansburg, Richard J. Swansburg
Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2006

Defiant behavior can create conflict.

“Introduction to Management and Leadership for Nurse Managers” by Russell C. Swansburg, Richard J. Swansburg
from Introduction to Management and Leadership for Nurse Managers
by Russell C. Swansburg, Richard J. Swansburg
Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2002

Defiant behavior 3.

“Paediatric Dentistry: Principles and Practice” by Muthu
from Paediatric Dentistry: Principles and Practice
by Muthu
Elsevier India Pvt. Limited, 2009

Review the list of eight oppositional defiant behaviors listed in the form that appears above.

“Your Defiant Teen, First Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship” by Russell A. Barkley, Arthur L. Robin, Christine M. Benton
from Your Defiant Teen, First Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship
by Russell A. Barkley, Arthur L. Robin, Christine M. Benton
Guilford Publications, 2008

The test methods follow the arrange/act/assert pattern to create, test, and validate one aspect of the overall behavior.

“Pro ASP.NET MVC 4” by Adam Freeman, Steven Sanderson
from Pro ASP.NET MVC 4
by Adam Freeman, Steven Sanderson
Apress, 2013

Design an aspect that adds assert(sane()) to the beginning and end of each public function.

“Why Programs Fail: A Guide to Systematic Debugging” by Andreas Zeller
from Why Programs Fail: A Guide to Systematic Debugging
by Andreas Zeller
Elsevier Science, 2009

Keep track of everything you need to perform the behavior as well as the

“Essentials of Public Health Communication” by Claudia Parvanta, David E. Nelson, Sarah A. Parvanta, Richard N. Harner
from Essentials of Public Health Communication
by Claudia Parvanta, David E. Nelson, et. al.
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2010

Defiant behaviour iii.

“Qrs for Bds IV Year, Vol 1E Book” by Jyotsna Rao
from Qrs for Bds IV Year, Vol 1E Book
by Jyotsna Rao
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2017

Identify defiant triggers.

“The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries” by Michele Borba
from The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries
by Michele Borba
Wiley, 2009

Once a new pattern of behavior is tried, multiple and positive reinforcements (e.g., through point-of-care reminders or audit and feedback) may be necessary to establish fully the new behavior.

“Textbook of Pharmacoepidemiology” by Brian L. Strom, Stephen E. Kimmel, Sean Hennessy
from Textbook of Pharmacoepidemiology
by Brian L. Strom, Stephen E. Kimmel, Sean Hennessy
Wiley, 2013

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

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  • As a mother of a rather strong-willed 16-month-old, I find it particularly difficult when neither of the choices I give her are acceptable in her eyes. For example, If I offer two different shoe options, she might swing her arms and say, “Noooo!”. At that point, do I make the choice for her or let her get in the car without shoes and just put shoes on her when we get where we’re going?

  • Guy with the big hair is an idiot. Teach defiant kids they make the rules. Good job. That’s how they got that way in the first place. These “experts” these days are helping with the downfall of our children through entitlement

  • I have this kind of kid in my class, i think lack of attention from his parents is what adds much to his problems. He talks back to me, sais im bad teacher and stuff like that but in other moment he is always next to me, trying to get my attention by saying things inrelated to class, like stories what hapned to him and such. He is too extreme in showing his emotions like if he gets good grade he will throw himself on the ground and yell as he won world cup, and as soon a tiny thing is not his way he will get agressive and talk back.

  • That second guy obviously does not have kids with severe odd and if he does they run his house!!! He is a quack you give a kid with odd any type of power omg he will run with it and expect power in everything!! And if they don’t get it then now you have more daily battles on your hands

  • The 2 choice option helps a TON!!! Love that! Thank you for amazing advice! I noticed my kids calm down as soon as I give them a choice

  • Most of the time, children with behavioural problems have parents who have the same problems. Tacking parents may be more effective than tacking children. Mind you the adults are more difficult and troublesome. Instructors need lots of patience and also courage to ignore their stubborn and controlling nature. The best solution is dampen them in the jungle, and let them make their way back to civilization. Don’t spoil them, or treat them with special care. Guide them as if there was nothing special or defective about them.

  • What you don’t control is the kid’s likes and dislikes. No one controlled yours, however, your parents sometimes made the choices for you. Yeah and keep those consequences going. My take.

  • 2nd doctor is wrong, his theory is only negotiating with someone that shouldn’t be negotiated with. It “solves” whats happening at home, but not outside the home. People with ODD have problems everywhere they go in life by their negative self destructive attitudes and just being assholes overall. My dad and little (adult) brother have this and they cause problems with seemingly every opportunity, it’s insane, even the most simple things in life end up fights.

  • That’s very worrying. Because they seem to be with out natural empathy and social responsibility.
    There is a women on talking on you tube about getting help for that from a native American shaman. I’m not recommending it.
    She was also saying that the thoughts Christian players(exorcism) was not helpful it made things worse.
    I wonder if systemics or projection have a part to play.
    The whole family is so Lilly white and well adjusted family members that they need a place to put their dark deviant maladjusted side.
    I know it’s a bit black and white
    But it’s a theory.

  • A lot of kids with odd, adhd, and other disorders in the same category have sleep disorders as well. I have adhd and my insomnia was so bad as a child that i never fell asleep before midnight even when my parents would put me to bed at 8pm. My brain was just “awake” and I was so hyper that no matter what anyone did I could not simply fall asleep. I don’t think regulating sleep schedules would be a simple task for parents of these children.

  • I’d love a video about younger kids (preschool age, for example) who have difficulty with transitions. I have 4.5 year old twins, and one generally handles transitions well while the other is so focused on whatever thing he is doing at that exact moment that he fights almost every transition, from putting on shoes, to sitting to eat a meal, to going to school, to getting in the car, to doing an activity he requested like going to the playground. It’s exhausting, because something as simple as walking out the door and getting into the car requires typically 5 stages of transition (put shoes on, put coat on, go out door, go down stairs, get into car), and he fights every single step because he picks up something to do between every single one (ex he will run circles around the car and look at the leaves in the driveway instead of getting into the car). It’s exhausting, and extra hard when I have two kiddos to motivate yet one takes 100% of my attention.

  • Marcella, as with any strategy, not everything works every time with every child.  I’d like to recommend that you read Lost at School by Dr.Ross Greene.  It’s an amazing book with fresh insights to behaviors.  I hope this helps!

  • This relies on rewards to motivate. But they know what you want them to do so they will chose that. Plus, if you do use this, you have to be ok with them not doing the task.

  • Is he serious! 2 people working together to solve a problem….. First thing, a child with ODD doesn’t always get triggered by a problem. Often the meltdowns happen with no warning. Yes there are time afterwards that you can look back and pinpoint what it was that set them off and then you can sit the child down and have the most rational conversation where they are giving good feedback and solutions can be discussed and agreed upon but within hours the same exact thing is happening. The child, especially a younger child can not control themselves. I have physically held my down to keep him from hurting me, his mom and himself while he is screaming and begging me to help him stop. Secondly, this usually develops when the child is very young. In my son’s case he was 3 when we started see it. Has this man ever sat a 3year old down, ODD or not, and tried to discuss “problem solving skills”?! Unfortunately, there isn’t a one size fits all solution or magic pill that can help families dealing with this. However the man being interviewed first definitely knew what he was speaking about. Routines absolutely help. And to hear him speak of the parents needing a break is so true. Parents of children with ODD go through hell. They feel isolated, alone, helpless and exhausted. Thank you for recognizing that Mr. Jordan. To the second gentleman, I wish you could spend an entire week, night and day with a child with ODD. Then let me know how your “problem solving skills” worked out for ya!

  • I do this with my sometimes opposition defiant stubborn 3 yr old daughter & it does work. Its made a huge difference & she is much happier. She is learning fast, how to make her own independent positive beneficial choices & is becoming much less stubborn. More than 70% of the time, l reward her with a hug & really praise her for making such a great choice, which boosts her confidence in choice making. It does not have to be a material reward. We are both much happier, now that she gets to make some independent choices herself. Much better than me ordering her around all the time as she is growing up & much better than her rebelling from wanting a little independence. She realises that Mummy has to make some choices for her, to keep her happy & safe, we have talked about that, & often she looks for reassurance from me in her own made choices anyway. The rebellious part of her has almost disappeared thanks to this method! ��

  • I’ve done this and doesn’t work. They start to tear things up. I teach with three children like these. And I’ve done every strategy I can find. Nothing works. I wish I could find help.

  • This isn’t a disorder, it’s a consequence from allowing your child to do what he wants then being upset when they don’t behave anymore

  • Trust me, I feel your pain. My daughter is 15 and so difficult. My cousin referred to her as a “gremlin” today and I think he hit the nail on the head. There are moments when she is so lovable and doing things a typical 15 year old would do, but most of the time she is just rude, defiant, and dishonest. She doesn’t follow rules. She answers to nobody. She refuses to do school work, she leaves the house in the middle of the night, she lies incessantly. It’s exhausting.

  • i think rebelling is good. i dont want to raise an obedient slave. sure unwarranted aggression is not ok but a healthy disrespect for authority is ok. respect has to be earned. an example may be someone who obeys a policeman only to find they are corrupt and then is sexually abused them in custody. had they have questioned the authority they may have avoided the situation.

  • One teenager and one preteen. It is all day every day. Stressing myself every day just trying to get them to stay on track: keeping their rooms clean, doing homework….It is so frustrating. Stubborn isn’t even the word. They think they should do whatever they want and not the things they should be. Thank God I found you.

  • I have my doubts about that bc my 7 yr old, when i tell him he wont get a sticker if he doesnt follow directions, he replies he doesn’t want a sticker. Or if you dont have enough sticker as rewards you wont get to play outside. He acts like he dont care

  • Sounds like child jusr testing some boundariesmy miss 9 will just keep doing as she pleasesno care for reward or consequence..

  • No son of gun.. you nurture. Tap in a mimic tone, cover more with nurture.. did you forget that chest to chest with the newborn fetus helps it heal.. it works with EVERYBODY.. so self absorbed. Love is simple. We just cannot manifest it inwardly out.. if i can’t predict or sense how a individual is a being like family then they are malnourished in the soul..

  • 6 daughters my 4th is ODD, all girls had routine and early bedtimes. We were unable to go places because of my 4th child’s behavior. Her diet was healthy meals at the table every evening, I raised her just as the others, but she was different, demanded alot of attention, and created anxiety within me that she would kill herself or one of her siblings accidentally before she was 10. She was diagnosed at 13. By then her controlling behavior had taken away alot of happiness from the family. She is now 16, expelled from school attends an adult college, had a job was fired for stealing. She is extremely impulsive, constantly making loud noises and shrieking, trying to make arguments. I have found a very passive approach to parenting now has made things alot more peaceable in the home. She stays in her room alot but makes the effort to be social and it can be pleasant now. So sometimes not trying to enforce yourself or rules etc over the child can be beneficial. But in saying that I am not cramming 16 years of an ODD child into a few sentences… just something that is working for us now…

  • My son knows the psychological games adults play unless it is coming from a totally authentic place i,e, honey, can you help your mom with putting away MY dishes? Or can you help your mom bring in MY bags from the car?? Anything I ask him to do for ME he will gladly oblige. But if I ask him to do something that is technically HIS responsibility he will procrastinate, dilly dally and even outrightly say I’ll do it later. When I say you can either do it or not it he will gladly not do it! If I take away privileges he doesn’t comply because he knows it’s power and he would rather go without than be manipulated. I’m at a loss!!

  • There is no perfect strategy. This would not work on a regular basis. Clear consequences and consistency are key. There are some kids who do not change from day 1 to last day of school. All you can do is keep trying. (Aide in middle school special education)

  • This is a good way to frame it. particularly in adults, and relationships i think. it takes the focus off of the back & forth “shutting down” i get all the time.

  • Hiiiiiiiiiiiii..Remember me? lol
    I’m happy to report that my darling 8.5 year old has come a long way. We have not medicated him I really didn’t want that for him and wanted to try other methods (no needles or pins lol). I’m no expert but I just think that as he matures (yes, he’s ‘muh-churr’) he’s learning to self-regulate. When he has to turn off his electronic device because our time is up, or it’s time for our bedtime routine, there isn’t the whining and pouting and freshness that used to ensue. Now I may hear a quick “aww” but that’s pretty much it. I tell him, I know you’re not happy but we need to (fill in the blank) and we’re good to go. He’s a very smart little boy at times too clever!! lol Thanks Dr. Paul.

  • One kid? Are you kidding me? I will try it, but I don’t see how this would work on my students or my son? If I gave him a choice he wouldn’t do it. He could care less about incentives.

  • What a great alternative! Thank you, you are really working with their brains with your option! I felt so discouraged until I found parents saying pragmatic alternative solutions like yours. Now, I feel hope! There’s one couple succeeding with sharing parenting right! They do a lot of YouTube videos. Maybe there’s benefit in you working together? Their free 7 day Parenting Challenge is at:

  • Terry, You’re welcome!!!  We all need a sense of humor in our field!!!  It helps for stress relief and helps us to come back for more the next day!!!  Loved your feedback!

  • The underlying assumption is that the reward will reinforce the positive outcomes, however for some children or are oppositionalthe reward isn’t as important to them as being oppositional

  • I like when kids have their own thought however when they become arrogant or agressive this is where the old fashion discipline comes out.
    It always work

  • Nurtured heart approach can help if do early enough…the mood may be less extreme. Never give in let your non mean no and your yes be yes, structure and consistency a must..

  • Ok but what happens when they DONT do it….. I’ve done this. My child doesn’t care and will always make the bad choice…. so please…. tell me…. what do I do when he chooses the “don’t do it”

  • I have a friend who along with her husband is an amazing parenting team. All of their children are happy and well-adjusted, except for the one boy who is always causing trouble. They told me he was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I spend much time with this family and also watch the kids. While i think they have great parenting skills i am seeing them do all the right things and the boy just doesn’t respond.

    I have never heard them make demands or say “do this now” or “because i told you no” i try to deal with the kids the same way they do, as to stay consistent. much like the advice in this video, they and i always leave the choice to the boy.

    They say it’s all up to you, it’s your decision…would you like to have a good day and play at the park, and watch a movie, and have treats? or would you like to have some quiet time by yourself, or do you have another suggestion? The boy will just throw a tantrum smash things scream and hurt people. Even when we give him the choice he always chooses the one that only serves to hurt himself. I tried talking with him calmly and asking what would make him happy, what he would like to do that day, and he seems to have no preference. I tried explaining “hey i don’t care if you want ice-cream or not, i just want you to have the choice and do whatever decision you feel good about” he will just glare at everyone and lash out.

    There in no consequence that bothers him and no reward he strives for. on halloween he hurt a baby and was told he had the choice between not hitting people and keeping his candy, or misbehaving and losing his candy…he just went and dumped his whole bag of candy in the toilet. It did not even phase him to lose a whole bag of candy he didn’t want a single treat. If you ask him if he wants to have a birthday party or friends he says no. he doesn’t care what reward he could have, or what he loses….what do you do with a kid, who seems to have no reward system or pleasure centre in the brain? He does not respond to rewards or fun things at all. If you give him the choice to have anything he wants in the world he will go sit in the timeout chair and refuse to eat. It concerns me that there is nothing he wants or strives for. he doesn’t care about toys or fun activities or deserts. We always leave the choice to him and he always seems to choose the self-defeating ones.

    Sorry i know this message is long, i’m just trying to describe the situation the best i can….anyone know what to do with children who act this way? all the other kids are happy and polite and use their words, and the one boy is just dangerous to them it seems.

  • Is he joking!?! It takes 2 people who WANT to come together & find a reasonable/rational resolve. Why does he assume that this avenue hasn’t beet taken, many time’s? If it were as simple as that, then this man would be sh!t out of business.

  • i started doing this this morning….before i saw this video…and only because i was so overwhelmed by trying to make my kid into a productive kid…i finally just said…listen, you are going to make these choices….and i said do it or dont it…i honest don’t care…..i probably shouldn’t said i don’t care….but whatever i won’t do it again…and she did it…..which totally took the pressure off me….if i didn’t start to distant myself from the chaos and fighting and pain this was bringing me and my child…i was going to lose my bloody mind…if i haven’t already….i’m glad this techinique works so good….now i just need to refuel myself…arguing with your kid, convincing the school it’s not my parenting making my kid act like the devil is in her, dealing with drs, social workers and god knows all the times i couldn’t take my kid out….right now she has a giant hole in her school because I CAN NOT take her to the store….i live my life like i’m in a cage….i don’t want my life as her mother to suck! i want to enjoy her childhood and give her happy memories, not crappy memories where she remembers me always angry or frowning…..i started crying the other day…and i felt big alarms were going off… am i going to live like this….not only was i in a living hell, but i was getting like no support from anyone….and if i did get any help it was from people looking at me with PITY or something…..not understanding…which is bullshit too. but whatever…..i can’t have people over, i can’t do anything…’s been like so bloody awful……i have a 6 month baby and he is like a dream…..i feel bad i can honesty smile at him him and i can’t do anything but fake a smile around my kid……so now i have this technique….do i have to do this shit for the rest of her life? do it or don’t do it?

    Do I have to do this technique forever? I can share it with the school but they act like they know everything. I hate them.

  • it’s true that my son has issues with adults asserting their will. i havent found a psychologist or anyone yet that can show me how to deal with it.

  • What great tips. The second one to praise the defiant girl is a great ways to turn her defiance around. Loved the “Do it or Don’t Do It.”

  • Excellent!!!!!  I love this Idea. I’m even going to write “Do It or Don’t Do It!” on my board for all the staff to remember.  I would also be interested in a strategy for if they choose NOT to do what is asked.  Go back to the rewards or no reward?? If you do it, get reward…if not no reward?