How you can Know If You are a Helicopter Parent


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Here’s how to tell if you’re what’s known as a helicopter parent. What It Means to Be a Helicopter Parent The term “helicopter parents” is often used to define a group of parents who engage in the practice of over-parenting. Helicopter parenting is not the same as intensive parenting One reason I am so confused about whether or not I am a helicopter parent is because the definition of it is unclear.

But some common signs of helicopter parenting include: Doing your child’s schoolwork – You don’t necessarily have to be writing your child’s essays for them to be doing too Fighting your child’s battles – You may not be duking it out on the playground. Helicopter Parents may also feel peer-pressure from other parents, seeing the tendency of others parents to intervene often can make them feel they need to do the same for their kids. Signs You’re. Here are 5 ways to tell if you’re “helicoptering” (doing too much) and what to do about it: You give your children a task and, because they don’t do it well, you do it yourself or fix it. You are on the phone weekly (if not daily) because your children are missing assignments.

If you think you may be suffocating your children, here are some signs that you’re a helicopter parent who needs to get their anxiety in check. 1. You Pick Out Your Kids Clothes It’s okay to pick out your children’s clothes for the first few years, but if you’re still picking out your preteen or teenager’s clothes, you need to stop!Helicopter parenting has various causes, and sometimes, there are deep-seated issues at the root of this style. Knowing this can help you understand why someone (or yourself) has a. Like most bad habits, breaking out of Helicopter Parenting hasn’t been easy.

But I’ve come a long way enough to consider myself a reformed Helicopter Parent now. Here are a few things that helped me – 1. Take stock. The first thing I did was to look at what I was doing for him that he could and should be doing for himself.

Here’s how to tell if you’re a helicopter parent, along with expert advice to curb the hovering. By Kate Bayless Updated December 05, 2019. How do you know if you’re a helicopter parent?

If the following items describe you, then you’re probably overmanaging your child’s life: You are in constant contact with your child. Cell phones have led to frequent communication between parents and children.

List of related literature:

There is even a term for this: helicopter parent.

“What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication” by Ike Lasater, Judith Hanson Lasater
from What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication
by Ike Lasater, Judith Hanson Lasater
Shambhala, 2016

In fact, I was the opposite of the helicopter parent.

“Beyond Soap: The Real Truth About What You Are Doing to Your Skin and How to Fix It for a Beautiful, Healthy Glow” by Sandy Skotnicki, Christopher Shulgan
from Beyond Soap: The Real Truth About What You Are Doing to Your Skin and How to Fix It for a Beautiful, Healthy Glow
by Sandy Skotnicki, Christopher Shulgan
Penguin Canada, 2018

Over the past few years, researchers have begun to systematically study helicopter parents.

“Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective” by George W. Holden
from Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective
by George W. Holden
SAGE Publications, 2019

This doesn’t mean you have to be a helicopter parent and monitor your child’s every activity, but if he or she expresses an interest in something, and if there’s a way to show your support for that interest, it’s probably a good idea to do so.

“Relentless Spirit: The Unconventional Raising of a Champion” by Missy Franklin, D.A. Franklin, Dick Franklin, Daniel Paisner
from Relentless Spirit: The Unconventional Raising of a Champion
by Missy Franklin, D.A. Franklin, et. al.
Penguin Publishing Group, 2016

They’ve been labeled helicopter parents, because they hover over their kids and make sure they get everything they need all the time.

“Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes: Removing Cultural Blinders to Better Understand the Bible” by E. Randolph Richards, Brandon J. O'Brien
from Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes: Removing Cultural Blinders to Better Understand the Bible
by E. Randolph Richards, Brandon J. O’Brien
InterVarsity Press, 2012

Many times when I speak publicly about the independence-dependence dynamic, I get asked about “helicopter parenting.”

“Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up” by Vanessa Lapointe, Dr. Laura Markham
from Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up
by Vanessa Lapointe, Dr. Laura Markham
LifeTree Media, 2015

Ever hear of the phrase “helicopter parent?”

“Mindsets for Parents: Strategies to Encourage Growth Mindsets in Kids” by Mary Cay Ricci, Margaret Lee
from Mindsets for Parents: Strategies to Encourage Growth Mindsets in Kids
by Mary Cay Ricci, Margaret Lee
Sourcebooks, 2016

You’ve probably heard the term “helicopter parent.”

“Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free” by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Elisabeth Elliot
from Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free
by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Elisabeth Elliot
Moody Publishers, 2018

Don’t be a helicopter parent.

“The Empath's Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People” by Judith Orloff
from The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People
by Judith Orloff
Sounds True, 2017

They show up in our households: Are you a helicopter parent or more laid-back?

“Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: Tight and Loose Cultures and the Secret Signals That Direct Our Lives” by Michele Gelfand
from Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: Tight and Loose Cultures and the Secret Signals That Direct Our Lives
by Michele Gelfand
Scribner, 2019

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  • I never wanna be a parent like this. My parents were real nice and they gave me freedom but if i did some dumb shit they let me know.

  • What happened to these parents when they were younger to make them act like this? My parents were extremely strict on the “no-dating,” thing with me (among MANY other things).

    But come to find out my mom liked attention from boys had her heart broken many times. And my Dad liked to sleep around in his younger days. So I guess they were trying to protect me. I just wish they would have been more honest with me about why I couldn’t date and not just a resounding no.

    I also found out with my dad’s previous marriage, he was very lax and didn’t care what his kids did. The second time around he decided he was going to be more involved by being overprotective.

    I’m not saying the parents have a good reason to be helicopter parents, but there is a story as to why. I only found out all this information after I married. I feel bad for all these kids/adults being watched over by over zealous parents. It breaks my heart, because I know the feeling of loneliness and the boredom that accompanies it.

    Now that I’m a parent, I’m trying to find the line of being overprotective and letting them figure things out on their own. Like, yes you can go over to the neighbors house to play, but I don’t know their parents that well, so please play outside.

    I do second guess myself though. Like is that being overprotective? Was my explanation not enough? Too much? Did I discipline too harshly? Too lightly?

    To all those kids who were or are overprotected, it gets better once you out from under your parent’s thumb. You will be able to think and do things for yourself. It will take time, but you will be amazed at what you’re capable of.

  • I was given a huge amount of independence as a child, my business was my business and I took care of it. I can’t really imagine family telling me what to do. It just wouldn’t compute. I never had a curfew and there were no rules. I didn’t have friends and I loved studying so it all worked out I guess. I wish they had helped me more with things that I struggled with, like getting homework done on time and remaining dedicated when work is tough or dull. But I became very confident at my ability to solve my own problems.

  • Yes they r, these ppl r creating sjw freaks n ruining our civilization with weak minded fools who run to the Democrat side n become blm protestors or more than 2 genders ideots who r so up in their own bs they cant even c that they r the problem

  • TLDR: lots of resentment and the second they are out of sight they crash and burn because they do way too much of what they were denied their whole life.

  • i never knew i had a helicopter parent. my mom looks through my phone. only got me a phone to track me. doesn’t allow me to delete apps. i’m only allowed to get a’s and b’s or i get my phone taken away for 2 weeks. doesn’t allow me to go anywhere without her or texting her very half hour. cuts off my phone at 8pm. and had slots to eat and if we don’t eat in these slots we don’t eat. i don’t know how to self regulate. and i don’t know how to cope with anything and be independent due to this

  • Yes definetly it is part of common sense. Overprotection might create excusses parents to give their childern everything which creates a narcist. Narcist are mentaly ill.

  • I have helicopter parents. They don’t let me go anywhere alone, not even for a short walk around the house, but at the same time they complain that I’m always at home. They also say, that I can tell them everything, but if I do they judge me. My parents make decisions for me, that I don’t want and control my life. I don’t have any place where I have at least a little bit privacy (We live in a small flat, I share my room with my brother and when I’m finally alone, they come in every 10 minutes without knocking to see what I’m doing) Strict parents have good intentions, they want their children to be safe and study a lot, but instead they simply raise sneaky, good liars.
    (I know it’s old and sorry for my English, it’s my third language)

  • My parents and my older siblings constantly want to know everything I do, who I hang out with, who I know and what I do on my free time. I can’t have a boyfriend (im seventeen) but when I can have a boyfriend he needs to be from the same country as me, needs to have the same religion, a good family and if my family doesn’t like him I have to break up with him. I can’t wear what I want, I can’t speak how I want, I get judged for almost everything I do.

  • Parents who spank their children are teaching their children to hit. All parents should pledge to never hit, slap or spank their children. Talk to them with respect and with love. Whipping children with paddles, belts, branches or any other device is “child abuse” and you should be arrested. These beatings leave big bruises. See my Facebook page “School Paddling is Child Abuse.” Dallas Morning News reported that beatings of children still go on in rural North Texas schools. 31 states have banned school corporal punishment but 19 including Texas still allow it.

  • I’m a helicopter parent. My daughter doesn’t know it. Because i am uniquely subtle. Sometimes i laugh because she wishes I was…a helicopter parent i mean…Hahahahaha.. I don’t know if anyone understands.

  • And when the parents are on their death bed, they will stare at the ceiling and think “Oh God, what have I done? I raised a child, and not an adult. How will they cope without me?” They will plead with God “Please! Take me back! My children cannot survive after my death! Let me go back and I will teach them as I was suppose to!”

    And, if such wish was granted, those parents would go back to their helicoptering ways. It is in their mindset, it is in their blood, they cannot help it. They are such characters that for them to helicopter it is the same as being an alcoholic spending his children’s savings.

    Some children will go above that and become even more independent than those that were given it, for they also acquired the skills to resist tyranny. Those parents, they will not have to suffer a regret they otherwise would’ve faced. But for the rest, such parents will close their eyes for the final time blissfully unaware of their faults in raising the children.

  • Everything is clear in this video but for one thing. A true parenting, to my mind, is not only in enabling our children ‘strike out on their own’ but in returning to us as friends with whom we will walk in life till the very end. This is what such videos usually fall short of telling. The image of ‘an all-responsible absolutely dependable successful doer’ is being promoted anyway and widely enough. Perhaps, that is why the weak and elderly parents, the weak people in general, are pushed aside and die lonesome in the old people’s homes. What cartoon should be made to promote an image of someone who is not directed at ultimate success at all costs?

  • Now that I’m eighteen i can see the way I’ve been raised has affected me negatively and i am trying hard to break out of it however when you have no clue where to start off it’s even more difficult

  • It depends on the child’s ambition to develop skills to become independent my mother was a helicopter parent she forbidden me to wash on her washing machine but eventually my older sibling helped me learn how to wash.

  • My mom had this potential. She was extremely overprotective of me and I felt like I was imprisoned when I was in high school. I got a job and my senior year, I drew the line. I had a job, I was responsible, I had my own money and I was determined to hang out with my friends. So I did. I had to learn to lie very well though. Strict, overprotective and helicopter parents produce very good liars. When I turned 18, I basically laid down the law on my mom. It was a tough time for all of us at the time because my grandfather (her dad) was sick with leukemia and passed away a year later. My mom was dealing with his illness and going to school to be a nurse, but somehow still found the time to check up on me in college. I had to lay down the deal for her and it was hard on both of us. That said, I’m glad I did. She backed off and though she still crosses the line once in a while now (I’m 49, married with 3 kids, 2 of whom are adults themselves), she knows she has to back off when it’s brought to her attention. It’s hard, you will feel like an asshole, but you MUST get out from under that and your helicopter parent MUST be told and held to their position.

  • First story.

    “Sorry, ma’am but ‘yo’ didn’t get the position ‘your’ son was applying for.”

    Second story.

    Sorry to hear it.

    Third story.

    “a nervous ball of wax.” Weird all the balls of wax I see, seem stable and seem to just ‘roll with things’

    Fourth story.

    ‘Focker’ HA! More then you know, ‘poor guy’ indeed.

    Fifth story.

    “You didn’t answer my calls.” Well mom it was probably becuase I was asleep after work, which tends to happen after work and need it continue to function properly at work, SO FUCK OFF!

    Sixth story.

    “Your wife’s mother told me to pick up your daughter and walk away.” And you listened to someone a thousand miles away? Well you know what, okay. The police will be by shortly to arrest you and you can tell them what you told me and that will be used for a judge to restrict their rights.

    Seriously, this story has so many ‘legal issues’ attached to it. Especially the ‘someone picked up my child from work and no one told me about it.’

    Seventh story.

    “Lying was the best way to get out of anything.” Ma’am… do know what ‘DNA’ is, right? And ‘security cameras’ and ‘eye witnesses that happen to also be cos’ are, right? You killed the guy.

    Eighth story.

    Honestly, breaking up with someone like that may be the best wake up call for people with Helicopter parents.

    Ninth story.

    “Waited outside until the class was in session.” So what? What was going on through that woman’s mindset? He child would have been stolen or something?

    “Mom and dad sold their house and moved where baby is going to collagetwice.” Okay, make a fake ‘acceptance’ letter and ‘move’ to the town where that collage is, then double back and go to the actual collage that allowed you in.

    “The helicopter baby is becoming a helicopter pilot.” And getting further the fuck away from her parents.

    Tenth story.

    I would have continued ‘teaching that woman’ for her sake. I didn’t hear a ‘fired her for incompetence’ or make a simulated architect project but told her it was real. She failed, scold her for her ‘blatant stupidity and how are you going to explain your lower intelligence to your parents?’ The ‘parents’ part would have caused her to cry and as she was crying made an offer to learn.

    Eleventh story.

    Yeah, now I’m thinking some Helicopter parents are ‘corporate spies’ if the offspring won’t keep anything ‘confidential’… that would be a ‘long game’ to get information on a rival company.

    Twelfth story.

    “I’m a doctor” Of……what? Again these parents don’t understand that ‘doctor’ isn’t an ‘occupation’ it’s a ‘title’. Obviously ‘medical’ but he could have been a ‘doctor of art’ or ‘doctor of archeology’ and he would still be a ‘doctor.’

    Thirteenth story.

    “they regard her as a failure.” Well then you need to cut contact or put your foot down more. It sounds like the wife needs some breathing room.

    Fourteenth story.

    The mistake I saw, the ‘cooking and cleaning’ don’t cook and clean, force him to learn by means of starvation as the ‘resenting them’ part sounded like a moody teenager. He was ’57’ and needs to grow up.


    A good friend would do this, “Hey, can I speak to your mom……Hi.” Hangs up, “There, now lets play some damn video games.”

    Sixteenth story.

    “Dose that stop her from guilt tripping me for not seeing her for her birthday? Nope.” Well mom I do feel guilty, that I missed out on another birthday without hearing it will be, your ‘last’ birthday.

    Seventeenth story.

    Good parenting.

    As for the video as whole, what do these paretns think their offspring will do when they’re gone? I mean, they are going to die someday and are going to leave behind a dysfunctional member of society that is of no value to others?

  • As someone who is trying to adult, not gonna lie. It’s hard. And that four step method? That got me through (believe it or not) two years of highschool shop class. More people need that method than anyone else. It helps.

  • My mother always likes to know what I’m doing. 24/7. All the time.
    They also veto clothes that have no reason to be vetoed, as they cover up my skin in the required places and have no offensive symbolism or imagery on them. Most of the time their reasons are just dumb.
    My mom always likes to reprimand me about how I should be happy to live in a well-off household.
    I have depression and symptoms of bipolar disorder. I am afraid to tell them about it since they were so terrible to me when I was going through rough times.
    I am not allowed to have many things. I am not allowed to text friends, and if I am, they have to read them. I have to do everything in secret.
    I want to cry all of the time because of my frustration with them.
    “You can’t wear this, it’ll draw negative social attention.”
    “Lay low and blend in with the crowd.” “So no personality?” “Yes.”
    My mother assumes I like all the things she likes. I do not. I like gothic clothing, but she does not, so obviously I must wear what she wants me to wear and look how she wants me to look.
    She asks questions I cannot answer. She bombards me with questions if I’m not ‘talkative enough’ or ‘absent from the conversation.’
    I cannot dye my hair black simply because my parents believe it will draw ‘negative attention’ and don’t like it. It’s literally black. One step down from brunette.
    I am not allowed to spend MY money on things I like. It must be approved by them.
    I have secure browsers on all of my devices.
    I have found every loophole known to man on my devices. The day they catch me is the day I’ll confront them about their obsessive tendencies and then stand there as I get grounded for being ‘ungrateful.’

  • Idk if this would classify as the american standard of helicopter parenting, but i am from Albania and this subject really touches me deeply. Albania has been a patriarchal society our whole history and helicopter parenting has been the norm for centuries. Some people are old fashioned, fanatic and very very big on honor, to the point that they will commit honor killings. I’ve known countless people being chased by relatives to find out what they’re doing or if they have a secret partner, I’ve witnessed people being beat up for it, girls being abused for not obeying their parents and family members, girls being killed for dating, going out to a party once (this happened in Australia), coming late from their fiancé etc. Just endless examples of not only the parents being horrible, but even relatives especially maternal uncles bc in our culture they are held very highly. Not only will they behave like this, but in some rural areas they will even marry off their daughters, pick their husbands and if the girl chooses to wait to marry they will allude that she is “stuck at the door” expression for she can’t find a husband, she has no value.

  • And it sucks because there is no one to blame, my parents were just a bunch of scarred people trying their best to raise a child yet unsurprisingly they failed and badly.

  • This is why ANTINATALISM IS THE BEST WAY…. Stop having kids, stop being a burden on the planet and STOP the overpopulation and giving birth to little brats that will only go on to trash this planet and become an even bigger scourge on society.

  • Honestly, my parents are both helicopter parents and reasonably worried. I think they are doing that whole back out of the picture thing, just much more slowly with me due to disabilities. I understand this and won’t complainI don’t think I am ready to be on my own. I’m 20. I’m not that old. I have plenty of time to move out and all that jazz, just rn I am in college and it just isn’t the best idea for me to rush to be 100% independent.