How you can Educate Your Son Or Daughter to consider Responsibility for his or her Behavior

 

How Make Your Child Take Responsibility 3 Powerful Strategies

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What To Do When Your Child Won’t Take Responsibility for Their Behavior

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Teach children to take responsibility for actions

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How to Teach your Child to Take Responsibility! Without Reminding!

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Taking Responsibility for Your Actions | Behavior Management

Video taken from the channel: Jessica Diaz


 

Stop Making Excuses & Own Your Actions

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Responsibility for Kids | Character Education

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Praise your child for telling the truth or taking responsibility for his behavior. When he says things like, “I wouldn’t have hit her if she didn’t make me mad,” gently remind him that no one made him do anything and that he chooses how he behaves. Then, when he’s calm talk about what he can do differently the next time. To help the lesson stick, turn it into a challenge.

Tell your child that she’ll begin the week with 5 points, and each time she makes an excuse or tries to. Enforce the rules. Your kid relies on you to set boundaries with them, which includes enforcing the rules. You can’t expect your child to accept responsibility for your actions if you continually make exceptions for them. Holding them to the rules helps them realize that they must own up to things they’ve done.

Take a deep breath between your child’s behavior and your response. Rather than overreacting, forcing them to apologize, or take responsibility immediately, give everyone time to calm down. Make it safe to come forward with honesty. If/when your child does take responsibility, skip the lectures and resist the urge to pile on the punishments. Instead, acknowledge how hard it can be.

If you’ve been making excuses for your child’s behavior, you need to be straightforward in addressing the problem. The “Alternative Response” method in The Total Transformation Program is a helpful guideline to this kind of conversation. Sit down with your child and point out that whatever it is you’re doing now isn’t working any more.

Babies learn by watching you and by your response to their needs. Toddlers and older preschoolers can do some self care. Give your preschooler a few jobs to do each day. Celebrate your child’s milestones with praise and occasional rewards. You teach your children to be appreciative for what they have.

It is through the Executive Role that you hold your children accountable for their behavior, and that in turn, fosters the development of a sense of responsibility. To successfully train your kids to take ownership, you need to give them four things: love, rules, choices and consequences. They need your love to be able to tolerate the pain of learning responsibility.

They need rules – house rules, conduct rules, and social rules –so that they know what is right and wrong. Teach your child to be responsible for her interactions with others. When your daughter hurts her little brother’s feelings, don’t force her to apologize. She won’t mean it, and it won’t help him. First, listen to her feelings to help her work out those tangled emotions that made her snarl at him.

Require your kids to follow through with what they start. Help your children own age appropriate tasks and chores by enforcing consequences if they go undone. Help your kids learn to problem solve and ask questions when they feel powerless.

Discourage self-pity by having them think outside themselves. Don’t become the referee.

List of related literature:

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FORYOUR ACTIONS The first step in teaching our sons and daughters to apologize is to lead them to accept responsibility for their own behavior.

“The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships” by Gary Chapman, Jennifer M. Thomas
from The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships
by Gary Chapman, Jennifer M. Thomas
Moody Publishers, 2008

Continue stressing the principle of “positives before negatives” (rewards before punishments) when designing a behavior change strategy to use with their child.

“Defiant Children: A Clinician's Manual for Assessment and Parent Training” by Russell A. Barkley
from Defiant Children: A Clinician’s Manual for Assessment and Parent Training
by Russell A. Barkley
Guilford Publications, 2013

Behavioral guidance is done in this stage by clearly outlining the child, what to do or how to behave and then reinforcing it positively.

“Paediatric Dentistry: Principles and Practice” by Muthu
from Paediatric Dentistry: Principles and Practice
by Muthu
Elsevier India Pvt. Limited, 2009

In their book, Your Defiant Child: 8 Steps to Better Behavior, Barkley and Benton (2013) provide a step-by-step guide for parents to correct problem behaviors and explain the functions of such behaviors, stressing consistency, and use of praise.

“Principle-Based Stepped Care and Brief Psychotherapy for Integrated Care Settings” by Alexandros Maragakis, William T. O'Donohue
from Principle-Based Stepped Care and Brief Psychotherapy for Integrated Care Settings
by Alexandros Maragakis, William T. O’Donohue
Springer International Publishing, 2018

When a child begins to regulate her own behavior, she begins to rely on internalized value and reward systems.

“Functional Movement Development Across the Life Span E-Book” by Donna J. Cech, Suzanne Tink Martin
from Functional Movement Development Across the Life Span E-Book
by Donna J. Cech, Suzanne Tink Martin
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

In summary, with difficult behavioural patterns in children, the basic principles are the same; make rules, stick to them, keep calm and cool, do not give in (i.e. be consistent once the rules have been established) and take the child to a separate place to have ‘time out’ if necessary.

“The Complementary Therapist's Guide to Conventional Medicine E-Book: A Textbook and Study Course” by Clare Stephenson
from The Complementary Therapist’s Guide to Conventional Medicine E-Book: A Textbook and Study Course
by Clare Stephenson
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

Frequently, required parenting skills include the following strategies: (a) listening reflectively, (b) defining problem ownership, (c) recognizing the goals of misbehavior, (d) setting logical consequences, and (e) encouraging.

“Partners in Play: An Adlerian Approach to Play Therapy” by Terry Kottman, Kristin Meany-Walen
from Partners in Play: An Adlerian Approach to Play Therapy
by Terry Kottman, Kristin Meany-Walen
Wiley, 2016

Sometimes the provider’s task is to help the child begin to simply acknowledge the consequences of their behavior without assigning responsibility.

“Treatment Planning for Person-Centered Care: Shared Decision Making for Whole Health” by Neal Adams, Diane M. Grieder
from Treatment Planning for Person-Centered Care: Shared Decision Making for Whole Health
by Neal Adams, Diane M. Grieder
Elsevier Science, 2013

• Praise the child for positive behavior when he or she is not having a tantrum or provide a reward system (i.e., sticker chart).

“Wong's Essentials of Pediatric Nursing: Second South Asian Edition” by A. Judie
from Wong’s Essentials of Pediatric Nursing: Second South Asian Edition
by A. Judie
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2018

Step 2: • Identify a behavior or two that the child might like to work on.

“Coaching Students with Executive Skills Deficits” by Peg Dawson, Richard Guare
from Coaching Students with Executive Skills Deficits
by Peg Dawson, Richard Guare
Guilford Publications, 2012

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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6 comments

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  • Crux of the video:
    Assign responsibility
    Make them earn opportunities/luxuries etc.
    Make them responsible for their actions and respect their decisions

    Kindly guide me if I am on rigjt track.

    Thank you for sharing this video.
    Very intriguing!

  • I was just looking for something to tell my girlfriend she’s outrageous and just blames other people but this is such a good idea to make and done well

  • So stupid And it didn’t get into my heat. So if a baby was born dead.. its his fault? He has nothing to do in it..
    Sorry but there is a place to stop.. sometimes Its not your fault.

  • So, hipetheticly If I were to let a kid look at my toy, then thus kid destroyed it for no reason than to upset me. Even though he said he only wanted to look at it, I’m the one who should be punished and not him? How exactly does that make any sense?

  • Alhumdulila,very very very helpful tips, from de day one I saw the changes in my kids, alhumdulila summa alhumdulila….point to remember is,when we change our self we will feel de changes in kids…jazak Allah khairan. Bro

  • Helo sir, it feels very nice to see your videos. It inspires me a lot……..
    Could you make videos on how to make my employees engage in work instead of letting them doing timepass in office. They skip the work. They teach us back. They say they will work as per their salary….. I am a team leader. I am of soft nature…. I find it hard to make my work out of them…..
    Request you to please make a videos on this topic.