How you can Bully-Proof Your Junior High School Daughter

 

How to help your daughter deal with school bullies

Video taken from the channel: Howdini


 

How to Bully Proof Kids by Role Playing

Video taken from the channel: BratBusters Parenting


 

Naomi’s 1-Week Transformation (Gracie Bullyproof)

Video taken from the channel: GracieBreakdown


 

Luis’s 1-Week Transformation: “A Gracie Bullyproof Bounceback”

Video taken from the channel: GracieBreakdown


 

How To “Bully Proof” YOUR Kid

Video taken from the channel: Youth Speaker University


 

Bully-proofing your kids

Video taken from the channel: Michael Grose


 

How To Deal With Girl Bullies In Middle School

Video taken from the channel: Live On Purpose TV


Build your daughter’s self-esteem. A healthy self-esteem is one of the best ways to prevent bullying in your daughter’s life. 1  Be sure you are doing all you can to help her feel good about herself because middle school can do a lot to unravel a girl’s self-confidence.

Understand that the social hierarchy changes. Build Your Child’s Confidence The better your child feels about himself, the less likely the bullying will affect his self-esteem. Encourage hobbies, extracurricular activities, and social.

You can also ask direct questions about bullying, whether it occurs at school and whether your child has witnessed or experienced it. If your child says she is being bullied, thank her for having the courage to tell you. Be a good listener, tell her it’s not her fault, validate her feelings, and ask her what would help her feel safer.

My daughter defended herself, crying, as the other girls continued to taunt her. Searching for answers, I came upon the work of Izzy Kalman, a school psychologis. How to Bully-Proof Your Middle School Daughter. By Sherri Gordon 11 Truths About Friendship Every Girl Needs to Know.

By Sherri Gordon 7 Skills Bullies Need in Order to Change. By Sherri Gordon Signs Social Media Is Ruining Teen Friendships. By Sherri Gordon 8 Things Kids Should Do When They See Bullying. Bullying How to Bully-Proof Your Children by Building Their Resilience How to protect children against the painful effects of bullying. Posted Dec 06, 2011.

The best line of defense starts at home. In order to bully proof your child take an honest look at your family dynamics. Ask yourself: Do you bully yourself, beating yourself up for mistakes you make?

Do you bully your children, over-criticizing them and correcting everything they do? Do you bully your spouse or does your spouse bully you?In Bully-Proof Your Child: How to Deal with Bullies it states that bullying in schools has become a national epidemic.

A study published in the Journal of School Health found that 19 percent of U.S. elementary students are bullied. In my opinion, bullying is a problem that needs to be solved as a family. Our son was bullied in middle school and high school. We were living in a small rural community where he went to elementary school.

The elementary school was terrific. The teachers were very aware of all the kids and very attentive. In some ways, it was an ideal school. In a few months, my daughter is going to middle school, and I wonder how I got here so fast. I wonder how my memories can feel so fresh, and yet so far away at the same time.

I wonder how it’s possible that my tiny girl is actually old enough to go through all these same things, and what I’d want to say to her as she goes off to middle school.

List of related literature:

As she approaches the table, Kay (the bully) says, ‘I can’t wait until recess, because I hate you, and I am going to beat you up.’

“Child and Adolescent Development for Educators” by Christi Crosby Bergin, David Allen Bergin, Sue Walker, Graham Daniel, Angela Fenton, Pearl Subban
from Child and Adolescent Development for Educators
by Christi Crosby Bergin, David Allen Bergin, et. al.
Cengage Learning Australia, 2018

Start sweeping her up through the years, bringing up every age of girl from that school until you get her completely away from those mean kids…

“Easy Ego State Interventions: Strategies for Working With Parts” by Robin Shapiro
from Easy Ego State Interventions: Strategies for Working With Parts
by Robin Shapiro
W. W. Norton, 2016

This brought up the subject of how her father could help her by taking up with the school the issue of bulling.

“Case Studies in Child and Adolescent Mental Health” by M. S. Thambirajah
from Case Studies in Child and Adolescent Mental Health
by M. S. Thambirajah
Radcliffe Pub., 2007

Indiana mom sends son to school with stun gun to confront bullies.

“Facebook Nation: Total Information Awareness” by Newton Lee
from Facebook Nation: Total Information Awareness
by Newton Lee
Springer New York, 2014

If she does nothing, then you go to the abuser’s parents with proof in hand and talk with the bully’s parents without the girls present.

“Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe” by Meg Meeker
from Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe
by Meg Meeker
Regnery Publishing, 2019

Bully-proofing your school: A comprehensive approach for middle schools.

“Classroom Management: Creating a Positive Learning Environment” by Ming-tak Hue, Wai-shing Li
from Classroom Management: Creating a Positive Learning Environment
by Ming-tak Hue, Wai-shing Li
Hong Kong University Press, 2008

Seems to me she needs to be reminded of what happens when she starts fights, calls other kids names, and forgets how to talk to her teacher.”

“Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them” by Ross W. Greene
from Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them
by Ross W. Greene
Scribner, 2014

When you speak with her while her mother is out of the room, she confides that she is being bullied by several girls at school.

“Swanson's Family Medicine Review E-Book” by Alfred F. Tallia, Joseph E. Scherger, Nancy Dickey
from Swanson’s Family Medicine Review E-Book
by Alfred F. Tallia, Joseph E. Scherger, Nancy Dickey
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2016

Her parents sued the school to stop the bullying and harassment.

“The Law of Public Communication” by William E. Lee, Daxton R. Stewart, Jonathan Peters
from The Law of Public Communication
by William E. Lee, Daxton R. Stewart, Jonathan Peters
Taylor & Francis, 2019

Talk to teachers about her behavior at school.

“The Healing Power of Play: Working with Abused Children” by Eliana Gil
from The Healing Power of Play: Working with Abused Children
by Eliana Gil
Guilford Publications, 1991

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
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69 comments

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  • It’s good that you guy’s helped her and many other’s. Some people need the help and you guy’s are awesome for providing them with that much needed help

  • Naomi is now an official trained killer. I could watch these bully Bjj videos all day. I hope they do a reality show. Hope she never has to use it too. She’s also extremely hot. Haha Girl should be on the cover of SI.

  • This is why I do fight training so I can deal with multiple opponents armed or unarmed, cause most kids at my school claim to be tough but if they fight a person they don’t do it one on one, they always bring friends.

  • I do appreciate your videos a lot, but in this one, I do not understand the focus on girl bullies. The sentence “Girls can be even worse than boys” is unfair and sets the stage to women bashing. And I don’t know if it is relevant or useful to compare them. Many of the cases of bullying I am aware of were by boys on girls, and pretty destructive ones. So, I would have preferred that the video focuses on bullying, period.

    Thanks for sharing your knowledge. It has been most useful to me and my family.

  • BJJ and all grappling arts are the best when it comes to 1v1s. Muay Thai for 2 or 3. The best thing to do would be to run away from anything above 3. In the case you can’t run, just hope your Muay Thai or boxing can knock them out.

  • I have a teen daughter and a teen son, and it’s been hard raising my daughter. She’s extremely aggressive and becomes irritated easily and so do her girl friends. I always tell my daughter chose your friends wisely because you could become like them. Thanks. Happy new year.

  • While it’s awesome that she trained with the Gracie’s and got confidence from the experience. Let’s be realistic, BJJ wouldn’t have worked in the original situation. It wouldn’t have saved her.

  • Assertiveness does not help when the bullying is lead, promoted and/or permitted by teachers who use it as an excuse for harsher punishment. We ended up homeschooling because the teachers were all into “girl empowerment” and intersectionality and my little white, male sons were an obvious target of hatred and bullying. What I didn’t understand at the time was that an entire generation of boys was going through this the same as my sons. The cruelty of girls and women is far more toxic than little boy roughhousing (and then becoming best friends) or holding open doors for women (something my older son has been yelled at so many times for he refuses to do any more). Why is this so politically incorrect to talk about? The whole warrior princess model for girls will bring down our civilization.

  • Oh my gosh. I love you videos but this is the one who said to me: “Get your as* off the couch and take classes in BJJ.”
    I actually started crying if Luis got the choke on Rener and thought, wow that’s a self confidence coach like no other.
    I wish I could ever take a class at Gracie University( I am from Germany).

  • He’s now got two big brothers, Due to spending some of my childhood in Japan due to my dad’s employment, judo is on the curriculum as part of PT and they don’t seem to have this bullying epidemic, partly because for the most part BJJ and Judo doesn’t seem to attract the meat heads.

  • Haha nahhh fack those rules they only exist cus no one would let these caindof places where u can lurn to fight exist if it weren’t for those rules. people don’t play fair and they don’t cere if u want or don’t want to fight. People never forget

  • You live in a fantasy world and your ideas will ENCOURAGE bullies! Kids get bullied because they lack self confidence all this emotional based “feelings” will just get them attacked more. Put your kids in a Judo or Brazilian jiu jitsu school to help build their confidence and the ability to defend themselves. No one bullies a confident kid who is unafraid to defend themselves and has the skills to back it up.

  • As a Human Development and Families Studies (HDFS) major, we are constantly looking at how the child’s environment effects their development. As a kid who was bullied, I wish I had learned this when I was in elementary school. I will definitely be spreading the word.

  • I wish this was around when I was a kid I was bullied through elementary,middle and high school. I am 56 now and still have nightmares from getting beat up.

  • Wow, I had never seen Wayne The Rock Johnson so emotional!

    Just kidding, awesome video, you did an incredible job, that video was some terrific shit…

  • brooks gibbs thank you sooooooo much i just faced bullying today and i have to meet the same people in next few days hope ill be able to face them now

  • Gracie what you guys are doing is beautiful…. plus 10……I have learned from you….. as a 1st responder gun toter and as a infantry war man veteran…… hey….but I have also learned that train the attitude before the physical skills……. weak scary minds of a client will always defeat their skills

  • The worst form of bullying I experienced was years and years and in school of being told to “shut up” its not as black and white as your examples. its more long term and subtle, making someone feel like everyone hates them. how do kids deal with that?

  • I have been bullied a lot of times…
    When I reached Grade 11 I went to a new school… we start preparing for Entrance exams(NEET) and stuff.. So I became less active in sports and other stuff.. Because I was in the Hostel.. My 1st roommate picks the fight sometimes.. I had a hard time.. And on one day as Master Rener says ” sometimes the fight picks us” He went to push hard.. I really am a proud guy.. So I didn’t want other people think that I’m weak.. I pushed him too….He took me down.. I didnt want to continue the fight But I was totally upset…One of my older friends in my previous school was like’ get lost.. You pencil boy’… I was unhappy about that a lot of times…
    Another day my old school friend pushed me… I couldn’t do anything.. He pushed me to the wall and then infront of everyone told me to eat something and get bigger… I was so unhappy because I was getting bullied for nothing and I couldn’t do anything back.. ���� During this lockdown period in India (Kerala) I watched Master Rener Gracie’s Basics of Jiu Jitsu in the ‘Art of Manliness ‘ channel His words really gave back my confidence.. And I am not going give up the next time….
    My parents have never known these bully stories.. Because I never like to.. I want to Learn Judo /Jiu Jitsu for being strong as to defend myself.. Can you tell BJJ /Judo centres near me… Location Kerala, Calicut..
    With lots of love and Respect…
    Roshan

  • I have experience been bully… Since I kid they alway bully me when saw me… I scared but when I getting grow up… I saw my bully in middle school… I know what I do… I challenge him fight one on one… And won that fight…

  • wow i cant believe how severe the attacks were i will not call it bullying it was a straight up assault. its awesome the gracies are doing this for these kids

  • The only problem if you look at the racial make up of their classes while their art is absolutely tremendous it’s so expensive that it’s only a certain group of people that can afford Gracie jujitsu it’s just so expensive so a lot of the minority kids they get picked on couldn’t qualify for that kind of self-defense

  • I LOVE what you teach so much I enrolled my five year old granddaughter in the Bullyproof Program immediately. Offering gratitude for what you and your family has brought to us! I hope to bring Alana to the University in the future to meet you!

  • That ain’t shit lol that’s like a tap on the forehead out here in LA still doesnt make it right but damn those girls got some anger issues

  • That’s disgusting how someone would be able to do that I could not even watch that let alone do that to someone I was crying like crazy ���� it’s sad to know that this world �� is filled with negativity but the ending was good great ��

  • This kid is gonna do just fine. The minute I saw his parents’ and I saw the way that boy walk into the gym with his head up and how he shook Rener’s hand like a strong, proud young man.

  • Thank you Dr Paul. This tips help not even for bulling it’s a great course for life. I have two daughters, they are still young, right now they are in the teasing phase but one of my girls still gets hurt from it, this is extremely helpful, I have the fortune that I can get to practice all of this before it turns into the extreme form of bulling.

  • Empower your child? learning experience? cut the psycho babble and start protecting the bullied by punishing the bullies. when this goes on at the work place companies get SUED people get JAILED let the same happen at school, and yes I was bullied

  • When i read about stories of bullying in the world specially japan i was like wtf! This is some serious shit. I was really shocked. When i was a kid i was very shy and inconfedent i was always laughed at cz of my lazy eye. But nothing physical at least not like this, the stuff i read about bullying is on another level. I believe the real cause is failure of parenting.

  • it’s caused many suicides. it’s cause my daughter to have anxiety n depression to the point of no longer liking school n needing therapy. BULLIES NEED TO GET PUT OUT OF THE CONMUNTIY. PUT AWAT AND TAUGHT HOW TO ACT

  • Its been 3 years since i want to learn Gracie Jiu Jitsu. This is the reason why i want to learn it!!❤ because its unique from the other martial arts

  • Yep make them emotionally strong because you cant contol people or their thoughts, so the only way to slove the bullying issue is teaching kids to be strong and lovable.

  • What you did for Naomi, and some other kids, is nothing short of amazing. I’ll bet the mere fact that there a lot of complete strangers out there who care meant a great deal to her. She looked like a natural to me.

  • I know this was a few years ago, but that was just unacceptable for those girls, they don’t deserve to have a boyfriend, they deserve to be single forever

  • 0:52 Facking hell look at those knees to the stomach facking scumbags.
    i just wana know if it whas a 1 on 1 thing or whas that kid holding him from behind.
    Like i got into meney fights with my bullies when i whas in school but i never got attacked by 2 people at the same time it was always 1 on 1

  • You guys have no clue what your talking about the only way to stop being bullied is to stand up for your self you either have to fight back or you have to tell an adult if that doesn’t work you should then tell the police and if it gets worse beat that bullies ass I was bullied and had to switch schools the kids then followed me for a program at my new school that they didn’t have at there school the kid got in my face i laughed at him it got worse all I had to do was put my hands on him once and now his gang and him don’t even look at me now

  • to my mind the best this is the best thing, someone has done for Naomi after that horrible experience…it will empower her mentally the most

  • Acredito que as artes marciais servem pra isso! Dar confiança, e te fazer perseverante, sem medos, e com orgulho, de si.Te coloca no controle, você não está mais em um barco a deriva…

  • Bullies lack love. And when you show it to them genuinely, they get to the state of confusion. And the more you stand your ground in love they will eventually back off because you are not fitting in their game or play by their rules.

  • Who every those girls that beat her up if they meet again just look at those punches last time I checked you punch with your knuckles not the back of your fist

  • Naomi is well spoken, beautiful and after seeing that last jumping armbar… athletic. When those girls assaulted her, that is the reason… jealousy. And now they have more to be jealous of. The best revenge is living well.

  • How can people be so cold hearted, invite someone over saying your their “best friend” or even being best friends but turning on her and gang bashing her 5 v 1 people like that need to go to the second lowest depths of hell, the lowest is for people who make ads with fake x’s on them

  • I absolutely love how genuine the Gracie family is and how they don’t just teach the victims bjj, but also take the time to connect with them and their families outside of the training sessions.. it makes my heart so happy

  • Just to think about how many other cases of bullying happened before surveillance cameras were around in schools. It’s very sad to think about. You guys give me hope for the future of humanity. Thank you for being true human beings, and inspiring others, including myself, to take bjj classes.

  • I would love to see a follow up on this girl like you did with Austin! I wanna know if this girl stayed with BBJ or any other Martial Arts because I can’t put my finger on it, but she has something special! She’s a natural

  • My heart goes out to Naomi and her family. Glad to see she is getting her life back together stay strong Naomi were with you. what happen to the bullys and their familys were they ever charged?

  • Man, she’s so beautiful! I don’t doubt jealousy had something to do with it, seeing as the attackers where not as… naturally gifted…

    It’s amazing to know she regained her confidence and hopefully she’s more aware of her potential and her qualities.

    Indeed, never let anyone put you down or make you feel unworthy. Everyone has a right to live and no one has the right to trespass our space, both physically and/or mentally.

  • I hope Naomi Johnson and her family get the justice they deserve cuz if they don’t get justice, then they should take the law into their own hands and serve out the law and justice and Naomi should hire a crew of her own new friends that all have extreme martial art backgrounds and should be armed with bats,brass knuckles,kendo sticks,and nunchucks when they hunt for Naomi’s attackers and to deal,assist,and help Naomi with getting payback on the attackers and they should all go on a hunt for the attackers and they should hunt for the one that filmed the entire attack as well and attack, assault,and beat him severely and offer none of Naomi’s attackers and the one that filmed the attack no sympathy at all and Naomi should get all of her attackers into one room and should have her crew just come out of nowhere and start attacking, assaulting all of her attackers and that they can’t even get up as well and they should have Naomi film her crew attacking and assaulting the ones she thought were her friends that assaulted her and the crew and Naomi should all laugh as they brutally assault her attackers as revenge for the attack on Naomi, Naomi and her family deserve justice that they truly deserve

  • wait, bjj can help if it was like 1 bully… but how would bjj help if 4 girls were attacking her like what had happened? I ask as a blue belt in bjj lol

  • Good job Gracie family for helping and teaching those abused by others.
    Hope more martial artists, masters of martial arts would do the same

  • I can’t believe how people in this days can do this kind of things to a person. Thank you guys for teaching her how to defend herself. I hope now this won’t happens again.Thank you one mor time for all your hard work guys.

  • thosw trash digusting pieces of shits are disgusting. Dare i see or hear someone even just talk bad to anyone i love oh the devil in me sure will takeover and fucking rip heads apart. This makes me mad.

  • Thrawn and Anakin from star wars were picked on by thier fellow peers, Thrawn was racially discriminated because of his Alien origins, and Anakin because he was a slave, and trained as a Jedi at age 9,

  • I Hate Seeing Shit People Be Doin Now If I Was One Of Her Friends I Would Of Handled All Five Of Them Girls Being A 1st Degree Black Belt In Karate And A Blue Belt With 2 Stripes In GJJ

  • If I was there when “the best friends” knocked her unconscious I would of beat them one by one. Secondly them girls are probably watching like oh no we are doomed. Thirdly I’m sorry but 1v5 that unfair and if them 5 girls are looking in the comments you 5 are a burden to humanity fourthly you did a 1v5 cause you god damn know if it was 5v5 you would be in the floor unconscious.

  • I appreciate your insight! As a pediatrician, I advise my patients to watch Brooks’ videos. I have one suggestion…consider changing “mean people” to “mean behaviors” because I question the utility of defining people by their worst behavior. Thank you for all that both of you do!

  • I have to agree girls and women can be pure nasty…. and it all comes down to jealousy or the bully not being happy…can I ask… what age is middle school I don’t understand the school system ages in America…

  • Much, much respect from a Qigong instructor and nine-year Tai Chi student. o\

    By he way, what happened to those girls? Their actions range from grievous bodily harm, to attempted murder. Were they arrested? If not, who’s to say they won’t succeed in killing the next kid?

  • That was my kid i would smack his arse so hard he wouldn’t do it again, then he would be dragged in front of the boy & made to apologise

  • Oh such bad bad advice. Here is simple advice from an ex bully/victim. If you are a child and you get money from your parents order some pepper spray from amazon with a visa gift card. Use it on the bully…. instantly solves fights.

  • Abusive parents MAKE bullies out of their kids most of the time. These bullies are so angry they want to make the world suffer. Often they do with success. Abusive parents can also make their children afraid and withdrawn. VICTIMS of bullies! I have been in BOTH situations. Most parents do not care that their children are getting bullied. I know some do, but they are few and far between. If parents would STOP abusing their children, there would be far less bullies and far less victims. TRUTH

  • I was bullied by a girl in middle school. It actually started when she asked me to go on a date with her. She was popular, but I didn’t want to because I knew she could be very mean. I asked my parents how to tell her “no” without hurting her feelings. The day after I told her my decision, her friends (4 of them) would regularly scream and call me names. The girl started spreading lies about me. Her older brother began stalking me on my walk home after school. My friends didn’t support either. Because the girl was very developed they would tell me ‘you’re an idiot for saying no”.

    It was a rough time, especially when my father told me he was embarrassed I was being bullied by a girl.

  • I was Louis.
    Thin bones, no social balancing interest. Got bullied a lot, for my smart mouth and general contentness.
    The bullying stopped after I’ve gotten myself into some bad situations where I learned by trial of how the bullying operates why it exists.
    Now I am the operator of that. I like to get into shit that’s happening and not related to me — to defuse it. I’m looking out for it.
    Later I got into demanding physical work and gained weight and core strength. Now people just don’t try to start shit.
    It shows that I can flip a guy twice my size, you can see it from across the street.
    I can be comfortable being gentle without seeming weak, and kind without looking like someone’s bitch. 99% of potential fighty situations just resolve themselves by the fact of my physical presence.
    It took me to be 27 years of age to get to were Louis is with his confidence.
    This kid has a higher IQ than I.

  • I don’t like ju jisu because it looks nasty and gross like if your trying to hump them or rape no offense I am not trying to offend anyone but I do tae Kwando and I feel like you could get someone on the ground faster then ju jitsu but it’s still good to give your kid any self defense because bullies will not stand a chance

  • So glad this family didn’t turn to violence after this attack. Instead you all loved one another and took preventive measures. Love you guys. Great video

  • parents to victims of bullying can only do so much. parents to the bullies themselves and the teens that just stand by need to enhance virtue in their children.
    think about their later live: it’s hurtful to look back and realize that one themselves could have been better at being a human. and it’s even worse to never grow up and stay a bully.

  • Can I use your advice and translate to Arabic in my kids school? Especially my daughter has just been bullied due to her skin rash..

  • I LOVE what you teach so much I enrolled my five year old granddaughter in the Bullyproof Program immediately. Offering gratitude for what you and your family has brought to us! I hope to bring Alana to the University in the future to meet you!

  • Your situation sounds individual. She’s talking generally we’re not going to get rid of bullies everywhere. There are just more strategies for situations and resilience training. The tactics that you used clearly work in the situations you’ve used them in, but they may not work in every situation, and they’re not going to suddenly make bullying behaviour go. But I think it’s a good thing that you tried. As someone who was bullied very badly young, I didn’t have a group of friends to back me up..