How to approach Teasing and Subtle Types of Bullying

 

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How to Cope with Being Teased

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Video taken from the channel: Workplace Bullying Institute-WBI


If you are experiencing teasing or subtle forms of bullying at work, at school, at home or online and you want it to stop, here are some ways to address it. Ask Them to Stop A good indicator of the intent behind the teasing is how your friends, family, or coworkers respond when you ask them to stop. Look for signs that they empathize with you. How to recognize the subtle forms of bullying through teasing? There are many ways where teasing can turn into bullying and normalize the discomfort just in the name of fun.

This can involve jokes related to body shaming, slut shaming, hurtful taunts, derogatory name-calling, humiliation, making fun of weaknesses, commenting on sexuality. Bullying and teasing is one of the most common problems children face. Although some forms of bullying is obvious, it can result in negative consequences if left undetected for long periods of time.

When you think you have a plausible reason, talk to him about it. Be clear that while he gets a few laughs for himself or from friends (some friends!), you feel demeaned and hurt by the man who supposedly loves you. Then suggest that you both attend counselling to deal with the teasing and its cause. Whether obvious or subtle, bullying is extremely damaging to a workplace. To address it, managers must clearly define what bullying is, what the behaviors are, and provide clear examples of.

Teasing, as the word is usually used by people who study peer interactions, is different from bullying, at least from the perspective of the perpetrator. Let me say that again. Say, “What all three of these things teasing, bullying, and harassment have in common is that a person is being made to feel bad and it. Concentrate on Instilling Empathy.

Talk about the consequences of bullying. And be sure your child takes the time to really think about how they would feel if they were the one being bullied. When kids learn to see things from a different perspective, they are less likely to bully again in. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage.

Verbal bullying. Verbal bulling includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target. Social bullying. Subtle signs of bullying – 8 examples Being set up to fail – setting impossible targets or changing expectations when a task is already started or nearing completion.

Can also include purposely keeping information from the victim or omitting to.

List of related literature:

However, it is important to remember that if the teasing doesn’t stop, or if it escalates into physical bullying, the school and professional help need to be involved.

“Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents” by Ronald Rapee, Ann Wignall, Susan Spence, Heidi Lyneham, Vanessa Cobham
from Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents
by Ronald Rapee, Ann Wignall, et. al.
New Harbinger Publications, 2008

The first option is to tell the person to stop, but if this does not work, and neither has ignoring the person, nor reporting the situation to an adult, then the only option remaining for the child with Asperger’s syndrome is to engage in an act ofexplosive aggression to end the unbearable teasing and tormenting.

“The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome” by Tony Attwood
from The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome
by Tony Attwood
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2007

Aspies often have trouble distinguishing between teasing and bullying.

“Been There. Done That. Try This!: An Aspie's Guide to Life on Earth” by Debbie Denenburg, Paul Isaacs, Henny Kupferstein, Ruth Elaine Joyner Hane, Karen Krejcha, Temple Grandin, Stephen M. Shore, Richard Stirling Maguire, Larry Moody, Lisa Morgan, Liane Holliday Willey, Qazi Fazli Azeem, Garry Burge, John Makin, Yenn Purkis, Mary Robison, Steve Selpal, Charlene Devnet, Lars Perner, Patrick V. Suglia, Alexis Wineman, Craig Evans, Anita Lesko, Mitchell Christian, Bob Castleman, Tony Attwood, James Buzon
from Been There. Done That. Try This!: An Aspie’s Guide to Life on Earth
by Debbie Denenburg, Paul Isaacs, et. al.
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2014

Help school-age children deal with teasing (as a result of being “different” from their peers) by allowing them to express their feelings and guiding their response: ignoring the remark, responding with a joke or good-natured tease, or educating the teaser.

“Lippincott Manual of Nursing Practice” by Sandra M. Nettina
from Lippincott Manual of Nursing Practice
by Sandra M. Nettina
Wolters Kluwer Health, 2013

Be an Army of One Bullies often get away with their behavior because no one is willing to step forward and say “Stop!”

“The Boy's Body Book” by Kelli Dunham
from The Boy’s Body Book
by Kelli Dunham
Cider Mill Press, 2013

If you are being singled out for regular and persistent tormenting, this is no longer teasing – it is bullying.

“Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger's Syndrome” by Sarah Attwood
from Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger’s Syndrome
by Sarah Attwood
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2008

Even though you may not be able to definitively label a situation as bullying, teasing, or just being mean, the good news is that you can still respond effectively.

“Bullying and Cyberbullying: What Every Educator Needs to Know” by Elizabeth Kandel Englander
from Bullying and Cyberbullying: What Every Educator Needs to Know
by Elizabeth Kandel Englander
Harvard Education Press, 2013

Give the bully feedback on the behavior by saying things such as, “You seem very angry about this.

“Job Readiness for Health Professionals E-Book: Soft Skills Strategies for Success” by Elsevier
from Job Readiness for Health Professionals E-Book: Soft Skills Strategies for Success
by Elsevier
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2020

We know that bullying and teasing eventually stops when it does not get a reaction, because the bully is trying to hurt the victim and get a response.

“A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children” by James T. Webb, Janet L. Gore, Edward R. Amend
from A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children
by James T. Webb, Janet L. Gore, Edward R. Amend
Great Potential Press, 2007

I have never actually been bullied physically but the teasing has sometimes gotten to me.

“Equality and Power in Schools: Redistribution, Recognition, and Representation” by Kathleen Lynch, Anne Lodge
from Equality and Power in Schools: Redistribution, Recognition, and Representation
by Kathleen Lynch, Anne Lodge
RoutledgeFalmer, 2002

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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192 comments

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  • Today I’m doing a search for videos on Workplace Bullying and found this video. I had a very stressful call with a new supervisor yesterday that lasted over an hour. This person is a long time federal government employee and just was selected for this position. This call was classified as a “meet and greet call” but quickly turned into a session of aggressive bullying. One of the duties of this person is to take over any conflict management for the branch which the branch chief used to handle. This individual wanted me to tell my thoughts and observations on any conflict in the branch and where I thought it originated from. I felt very uncomfortable so I said that I would not comment on that topic but I would prefer to focus on positive work and accomplishments. I then discussed several positive accomplishments and activities but I could quickly tell this was not what my new supervisor wanted to hear. Then he started saying in an increasingly aggressive way, “Come on, you are a senior experienced staff member, why can’t you tell me what you have seen and observed in the branch.? Why don’t you trust me? What are your observations and thoughts? Do you think changes need to be made and if so what changes? Are there any issues with leadership?“ This went on for over an HOUR. My stomach began hurting and when the call was close to an end, my supervisor said he wanted to continue use the conversation another time. The call ended and along with a severe stomach ache I also was surprised to find myself crying. I will be sending a very professionally worded email to him to document this but what the heck? He is having these calls with the entire branch. I’m in my mid 60s and I will not be a part of anything like this in any future calls or meetings. He needs to STOP!

  • And when the Bully is the Owner… Also had a The 2 headed snake experience and when I exposed her, it blackballed me. The more I listen… Yup, I have experienced ALLLL of them. I thought that was just the Corporate Culture…

  • i have seen the one. exactly what other guy has described in the letter. and i say you are amazing how you describe him coz here we also have built this perception that he only attacks weak person. many strong befittingly confronted him and he stays away from them

  • I am dealing with a bully at work,who also bullying someone else (women) with the full support of my boss. The man is really a psychopath. I am about to leave my job 4 years short of my pension. He is just too evil and ask way too much energy to deal with this. He is not my bosss but he is influencing my boss.

  • word to the wise: people of color can do no wrong in the eyes of the EEOC, our modern-day updated Freedman’s Bureau. Short of workplace homicide, they will always prevail. If you’re targeted by a black person at work, start looking elsewhere because you’re done!

  • Hey here in 2020. Appreciate this because it really made me see the truth. I was working in the ER as a PA. I was surpassing the the prior more experienced ER PAs and getting bonuses and accolades. When was asked to present at the supervisor’s office I thought I was going to be commended for getting the door to doc time down but instead I was told that I did not know how to treat common disease such as hypertension and COPD. I was asked “ to do the right thing and quit”. I was told that a very common medication that treats hypertension wasn’t unused to treat hypertension. Crazy! And the patient was on the medication for hypertension. I was so confused and shocked! It has been over two years since that has happened and I’ve questioned myself everyday. Before this and after I’ve seen and treated numerous patients successfully but to this day I still feel inferior, incompetent and belittled. However, given this information in this video things seem a little more clear. Thank you

  • There’s this one guy at my job who you would call the “class clown” when I first met him he seemed fun to be around and cracked jokes all the time, but over time you begin to realize what people like him are like.

    I thought he was just the funny, sarcastic guy, but one day I caught him talking about me behind my back and felt pretty betrayed that he pretended to like me, so I stopped laughing at his jokes and stuff, he eventually caught on and starting making it out like I was the mean guy and trying to make me feel bad that I wasn’t talking to him or laughing with him, since he has been there much longer than I have and I’m the new guy, I can’t simply call him out because he is basically respected by all the other guys there, know he just intimates me like when I meet him walking down a hall he will refuse the step over the other side and pretend he doesn’t see me, we’re I would have to go sideways and pin my back against the wall for him to go by like it was something that I did to ruin our friendship, watch out for people like that, they are twisted and will always try to seem better than you just because they know their not…

  • Hi Ben, thank you very much for your advices and excellent video. One thing that I have notice is that these poeple serve very well the bosses, since they are the ones acussing and surveilling everybody, hence their presence is desired in many companies. It is very hard to unmask them in public or bring this situation up, in front of someone in a higher position. I believe that in these countless cases, the only solution would be to find another job.

  • When you’re told by boss that they will fire you for your own opinions and retaliated all day yesterday then you give them the benefit of doubt,I won’t lose my job due to his stupidity of wanting to fire me over an opinion hire up said so I work everyday day hard always

  • If you can’t stand it..just dump it!….If it’s just one or two cases of bad incidence..just ignore it. This upper positioner might not own the organization but he can throw his weight around. If you are vulnerable….there is no two way about it. Why work for toxic people….making your life miserable…when you think it is a dead end…❄️..a new opportunity to work for you will come.��������

  • Always write down what’s happening dates and who you spoken to any witnesses,email or voice mail, need a paper trail take a video put in pocket or purse if possible police report if threatened find a lawyer and Prayer ��
    Send it:U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
    EEOC Headquarters
    131 M Street, NE
    Washington, DC 20507
    202-663-4900 / (TTY) 202-663-4494

  • I’m currently being bullied… it sucks because I’m in the heathfield have dont nothing wrong and yet again my job on line but it’s on the line because of a bunch of lies brought on by the bully and I also think the supervisor is also involved….

  • Yes but what are your tactics to deal with these people??? I’m trying not to give this woman energy or mind but it’s difficult when u work closely

  • I was bullied and harassed at work for 4 years. The guy worked for 25 years. He was a covert bully. I reported him to my boss and HR. They talked to him, and 2 days later he quit. My boss said I was one of the best workers, and he had no idea why he was harassing and bullying me.

  • I think I’m going through this right now. I’ve deleted people on my facebook account and now I’ve deactivated it. I think I just need to buy some time. update my resume. And then get out. But it’s still frustrating. And it still hurts.

  • It’s horrendous especially when no one listens to you the bully is so sneaky and manipulative you actually can’t believe what is happening….

  • Your video is great! I agredreallye with almost everything. There’s one thing I heartily do not agree with, however. I’m an “early hugger” and I do that because I genuinely care about people. My students, their parents, and the volunteers who come into our classroom are amazing humans who enrich my life. Hugging is something that I do. However, I’m a balcony person, a cheerleader, and an encourager. That’s who I am with my students, with my co-workers, with my outside-of-work friends, and with my family. Just because I’m a “hugger” doesn’t mean I’m deceptive, though. I hope you’ll at least take this into consideration before making a generalization next time.

  • I noticed that these people have perfect timing when cutting you off in traffic and causing near collisions which is questionable. Possibly demonic.

  • Withholding resources. I came across this for the first time about 4 years ago when I was remote working in an administrative role. You were paid by how much work you produced and this person started to withhold work while claiming that the work was there. I felt gaslighted, but later found out through an online forum that I wasn’t the only one receiving this unprofessional treatment. I’ve only discovered today that the term for this kind of person is ‘Gatekeeper’. Also, a few years ago in my last on-site office work I was working with a girl who at first was withholding work, telling me and another temporary worker we were not competent enough to do the jobs, but then later she insisted on giving us several jobs and then essentially refused to give us adequate instructions on how to perform the work, but then later reprimanded us for not knowing how to do the jobs. It felt like gaslighting 101.

  • My whole workplace is against me even the boss. All are bullying me cuz they wannt me to quit and they are so mannipulative and sneaky the boss for example told my parents i have to show courage and stand for my self and i dont have to let me treat this bad by my kolleges but if my parents arent there the boss tells me, theres nothing i can do against this bullying im a victim and i will be forever in this workplace. I love my job but i live in a really small place and have at the Moment no possibility to change the workplace cuz i have no drivers license im working on it but im stuck in this poisonous place

    Where evryone is trying to make me quit.

  • My boss cussed at me because i was trying to state my point during a conversation. He is in denial of letting people speak, what bully would that be

  • I was bullied by rogers communications in canada. Chinese boss only employed Chinese. Being none chinese I was eventually out numbered by them and due to their jealousy I was fired when I complained about the team only being chinese. I forgive them and will let karma take control. My lesson is though, dont work under the chinese if you are not chinese. They impacted my career and my 4 year old sons activities as i had no no money to support him. Bullying is an evil human behavior that is sign of insecurity and weakness. The nice guys are often the ones who are bullied. Hr departments do nothing about it, hr are there just because an organization needs a hr department.If you see yourself getting bullied, get out before they fire you. The positive part is I left rogers telecommunications as a customer and went with a competitor and realized how much better the service is. I recommend everyone to the competition now. This is how poor hr practises impact profit, good talent leave and word of mouth spreads about poor organizations that allow this to happen.

  • Deep down bullies knows they lack some of the key skills to be a good boss, so she/he is trying to defect her/his incompetence by “highlighting the mistakes of others”, however petty it appears. Everyone knows that a “constant critic” is poor when it comes to “time-management”. Say for example, a “constant critic” is trying to “find” an error/ mistake in a person(s) work, in yet they found nothing the end result is that they “wasted time” trying to find these “errors”. Thus, this shows that he/she is not utilising his/her time effectively, that would have otherwise be benefited the department e.g. planning meetings, work on projects, keeping control of the dept’s budget and making sure stock items are kept up to date, from which such Bullies often overlook! Unfortunetly, I had a boss who acted ALL 4 of these categories, he was kicked out of the police force in his past role. More or less explains everything!

  • Thank you for this I find a lot of my clients spend a lot of energy identifying all the characteristics of their bullies. I think giving them a simple way to clump the traits together into a “type” will be useful and relieving to them. Then they can focus on their actions their responses, their self-care, and strategizing their next steps.

  • You are spot on with this. These professionals in Michigan better get wiser. I want to discipline them for their mistreatment of me. Im very professional, valuable, and innovative…one day they will see they need me.

  • Unfortunately 4 of these are in my workplace as in most are like this. Very few are ok. I work with a #1 and #4 combine,It’s hell, I’m about ready to deck him in front of everyone and be done with it.
    I’m dealing with physical issues and it only makes it worse when I have to call because of it.

  • I had to go to my government official who is pretty high up. And that’s how I got action with my situation! Hallelujah! Thank You Jesus!

  • The happiest moment of my work life was to see the two bullies who constantly harassed me fought each other one day. It all started with a heated argument which later turned to a fist fight in office. I was watching all this and laughing inside my mind.

  • Replying back saying something like “was that supposed to be funny” might make them want to strike back again, and then it would just turn into a huge argument.

  • Thank you so much for this!!!! Nc stage 3b survivor workplace bullying and discrimination. Crying as I type this. All of them!!!!!! And isolated. Excluded. Has me so messed up. Where’d all the good people go??

    So scared and mad. Big entity. EEOC involved. Poor so no attorney.

  • I feel for that employee going thru..I wish I would be for them when they’re upset. I would take care of that guy if he was doing it to someone.

  • Brilliant. Managing a new team with a history of bullying managers. They have overreached and their deck of cards is collapsing now. Been so stressed for a month but light at the end of the tunnel now. This has helped as I have 3 at least of these characters on my team.

  • Excellent video clip. I’m here because my best friend without warning started to be remarkable with girls. He went from a no-one into being outstanding. He pretended he didn’t notice. He then explained it to me while he was wasted on Tequila. He said he learned from the Jake Ayres Master Attraction Formula. Google it if you’d like to know about it… He’s dating a stunner…

  • Hi I worked in a call centre for 3.5 years the gentleman in the video has described exactly what happened to me but mine was a lot more extreme persistent bullying which infact led to a severe form of PTSD. I took my case to an employment tribunal in UK but here we live in a culture where bullying and harassment is encouraged in the workplace!

  • My overweight cousin managed to make the hottest pole dancer I’ve seen in my life fall for him as he ran the Cupid Love System (Google it). It’s bad but I wish I found myself pleased for him but I want such a beautiful young lady to fall for me. I am incredibly jealous. Does that make me a lousy human being?

  • Most jobs out there are junk jobs where people accordingly are mishandled and bullied like garbage. Most employees hate their jobs, because the jobs themselves are pointless.. and the managers therefore behaves like sadistic egomaniac freaks because they dont need to show shitty valuable performance at all just pretending doing something hanging around

  • Even worse, when you boss sides with a corrupt, hateful, well-connected bully who is abusing you for political reasons. You are a much better person and good, dependable, competent worker but she just does not care about you because it is about her advantages.

  • If someone at work is extra nice to you and says they have your back, beware. Sometimes the nicest people get the job you should have had. Work is very competitive; and sometimes you cannot trust those who seem like they are your good friends. Haters are adept at disguising their hatred. Competition for jobs and money has separated lifelong friends; and other work colleagues, when one tosses the other under the bus. Like the old song says, smiling faces tell lies.

  • All of the people whom I’ve come across in the workforce who wanted to be bullies had been plain stiffs using little Mickey Mouse jobs of theirs to delude themselves that they got to be wealthy and successful business executives and to power-trip. Some of the most common ways that they go about doing these things is by making believe that other workers lay down on the job and are too stupid to know how to do something that a six-year-old could do and that they don’t know what work to do.

    They were all way below average in intelligence. They thought that they were as much of an authority figure to people as kings were to peasants in the days of yore and some of them thought that they were this much of an authority figure to people whom they weren’t the bosses of at all.

  • I have come to a conclusion that bullying is contagious and should be quarantined as soon as possible. If it isn’t, the bully creates a toxic breeding habitat and gives birth to more little bullies. This results into further three groups:

    1. The bully and his gang.
    2. The resistance with conscience/competence; who have less to lose and take the risk for a better working environment.
    3. People who sit in the corner, with no hope or struggle for change. They can be those who may have been a part of the resistance, but lost their shine and resolve.

    Summarizing, if the management fails to take actions against the bully and his self made cartel/rules, then there is no light at the end of this tunnel. This also explains why there is a significant probability for corporate CEOs and top level executives to have psycopathic tendencies.

  • I am experiencing bully by my Ph.D. advisor in economics Ph.D. from
    Syracuse University as an international student. Feel hopeless.

  • I am experiencing bully by my Ph.D. advisor in economics Ph.D. from
    Syracuse University as an international student. Feel hopeless.

  • It is getting so that if a person wants a position in a work place that cares for its workers a person has to do research on the company first. Thank you for warning people with details on what to look for.

  • I feel like my foreman is a mix of all of these other than the one that yells. But you dont need to raise your voice at all to have the exact same results. Definitely a 2 headed snake, he likes to take turns who hes mad at or who he feels like glorifying, like an alternating favourite child. Cant joke around with him because every single thing you say is turned into ammunition in some kind of exaggerated way around people to shame you. But he will say ridiculous accusations as “jokes” and say you gotta learn to take a joke buddy. It ends up with just this quiet tense atmosphere that he tries to rule and just shuts down anything you say and you feel like you cant be yourself, not talking and just agreeing to instructions gets you by for a while until he needs to scratch the itch again. The worst part is that sometimes it’s okay and i let my guard down just to be something to laugh at again and I dont really have a support network other than these people I spend 8 hours of every day with

  • For years {23 YEARS ALMOST 24} i went to work living in fear as a psychiatric nurse having panic attacks and was treated abusively and with a great deal of disrespect called names was yelled at and was accused of being abusive towards patients relentlessly Despite going to the union umpteen times the behavior of the toxic staff was enabled repeatedly and it seemed like I was being pulled into the Human Resources Office with complaints/concerns about my behavior It was so bad that the once powerful Head Of Psychiatry lost his posting and came onto the unit that I was working on and after checking for any potential eye witnesses (no one else was around) went on a 30 to 40 second rant about how I was responsible for him having lost his job and how no one was listening to him Unbelievably this individual walked within 2 feet of my body stuck his finger practically in my eye and tersely told me that I was manic!This psychiatrist was a living nightmare for me to work with and had poisoned the workplace with one of his patients who happened to be another healthcare professional (this individual was the former Head Nurse on that unit) who also told staff and our clients that they both suffered from mental illnesses the psychiatrist is Bipolar Manic and the other health care professional (had huge boundry issues)I can’t comment on

    It was never ever brought out directly in the open why I was the source of hostility and anger because of the years of sabatoging and backstabbing by people who I had held in high regard at one point in time I could go on about a lot of unfair and very unpleasant experiences but I think you can get the idea

    All that I can say is that I am slowly putting my life back together and I am so very thankful to be out of that place and retired I am proud of myself for the way that I handled my last year at St.Paul’s Hospital and to this very day I can honestly say that I walked out of that extremely dysfunctional place with my dignity intact and my head held high

  • I ended up having words with my supervisor after a build up of tension between us, his constant remarks and talking to me in a belittling way came to a head when he lost the plot after me asking if I could just borrow his pen on his desk that wasn’t being used just to write a clocking out time, anyway I said in a sarcastic tone I was so sorry and I would never touch his pen ever again.
    We ended up exchanging home truths until I told him it was my time now and im not gonna waste it arguing with him, the next day he came in all cheerful and good morning ( Schizo ) the weird thing is all the men in the Office were really nice and the women gave me the cold shoulder.

  • I used to work in a company where the supervisor(bully) accused of me of going home 30min earlier.

    When I said I didn’t, he said, “Do you want to tell the truth or shall we go to the CCTV?”

    I said, “CCTV”

    He shouted, “This is insubordination!”

    LOL

    I resigned the next day. No regrets.

    Last I heard from an ex colleague, he left the department.

    Provisions/Salary belongs to God alone. Don’t let this a***holes win.

  • Lol wow I was rejected a lot! Tuition reimbursement and even medical care. I was forced to come back after an accident. These people are disgusting!

  • If you want to be free 0f stress, you need to jock down notes (day, time and so on). Have a witness to be your support. I followed all the steps, and got the bully to quit 2 days after I reported him. One thing bullies, and harassers despise the most is to be exposed for who they really are.

  • You are only INFERIOR if you allow yourself to be…or report to HR then wait for the response…then when HR doesn’t do jack then you get a lawyer to put together a Cease and Desist letter and serve it to them as a SURPRISE! and sit back and don’t look like a scared dog but a Wolf… take a stand or sit down and deal…I take a stand…

  • I was bullied at work by the person I report to. He wouldn’t even address me by my name. The first thing the admin lady told me when I walked into the office building 3 months ago was that he can be a little grumpy at times. I didn’t get it then.

    Then I slowly realised what that meant. As days went by, I got really stressed about going to my workplace and facing this man. He never treated me with respect. It was as if he was never happy with whatever I did. Always dissatisfied and frustrated. I am a graduate engineer and when I was hired I was told I would receive a lot of training in this position. I received nothing, and in fact he was so busy that he expected me to just share his workload. I learnt a newly released software on my own which he wasn’t even very familiar with. I did my best to learn and deliver at the same time. I was working overtime (which I wasn’t paid for) as he never had time to review my work until 5:00 p.m.

    And I decided to quit. A week ago I gave my resignation. He became worse. The director of the company who was present at my interview with my line manager gave me a surprise visit and pulled me into an office room without notice. At the end of the conversation, she told me very “nicely” that I could talk to my manager and leave early if I wanted to. I did not take the hint. I was being dumb.

    Since my resignation, there were two instances he picked to point fingers at me but I ended up being right in both. He never apologised. And just yesterday morning, he walked in grumpy saying he thinks I am not interested in this job anymore and I can bring my final day forward to yesterday.

    He also hinted that the company is wasting money on me. So it was clear. The management just wanted me to leave. I wasn’t going to stay after this. I sent an email to the HR confirming yesterday as my last day. He just said good luck for future. It’s a shame that I didn’t have anything to tell him. I was speechless. So I just left. No goodbyes at all.

    I came home feeling relieved. Last night, I had the best sleep I have had in a while.

    I don’t know what I am going to do. But I now know that dignity, self-respect and mental health is more important than anything else sometimes.

  • If I’m going to kill myself over some person bullying me, you damn well bet that I’ll murder his kids, his wife, his mother, his father, his siblings and torture HIM before I attempt the act. If I go down, everyone goes down. In fact, I’d look forward to dragging them all to the hell they so callously created for me. The thing is, you’d never see it coming.

  • Me: ” If you don’t stop now, I’ll make sure everyone knows your mother is sleeping with our coach in gym class. ”
    Teaser: shocked* ” What? ” ��

  • Nice description. Responding with snark may work in some situations, but I had to deal with this aggressive type guy who one time I snarked back like you describe and he got more aggressive and got in my face because his ego was hurt so bad. He started trying to find one up things to get me on and got louder in front of everyone. I would have prefered to defuse him in a calmer way

  • I watch these people you describe everyday on MSNBC and CNN. They are disgusting people who can only elevate themselves by tearing everyone else down. It’s sick to watch.

  • what if person makes fun off me which affects my personality.. also when that person teases someone all others will be focibly laughing and forced to be friends with him otherwise he could make fun of him.. what to do..please help me

  • The reason I’m friends with everyone is because I’m really short for my age and when people tease me about it, I make a joke of it.

  • I think there are two main components to teasing. 1) The teaser, as opposed to teasee, is reacting from a place of hurt or discomfort. 2) Recognizing and honoring boundaries whether you understand them or not. We focus on IQ at school, but equally if not more important is EQ (Emotional Intelligence). If we gave our kids tools to recognize discomfort or hurt ASAP inside of themselves, and then use that realization to help them soothe their own hurt, I think most of teasing would stop. Negative emotions unchecked spill over to those around us—often in mean ways. Learning how to handle one’s negative emotions, and whether they really need to be acted upon or released, is the most important skill we can teach our kids.

  • I watched this video in advance of my meeting yesterday with HR. It really gave me strength and I represented myself well. I’m super grateful that you make this information easily available.

  • The one about the compliment only woks if the bully isn’t ugly, if the bully is, then when he teases you, just say something about them you dont like, but keep the racism to yourself. (If you cant think of a physical flaw about them then you should be nice, dont call them stupid or mean, calling them stupid makes you sound like a nerd and calling them mean makes you sound like a kindergartener) remember kids dont care about whats on the inside only about how you look.

  • What happens inside the human brain is that serotonin is boosted when you feel better than another person. Cortisol happens in the victim when they’re attacked, humiliated, what have you. When this happens in a group Cortisol happens to the viewers of whatever incident. That’s frightening enough to induce submission in them to a large extent, for fear of being hurt by Cortisol in a similar way. Cortisol actually slowly kills people, so although it’s not a bloodbath it sort of is, it literally hurts and kills other people. That’s why responding in kind doesn’t work if you’re a moral person and snark is just a tiny bite out of your fellow human being’s neck. The question is how to stop the abuse without becoming a murderer, not by just crushing the opponent.

  • I was harassed by my manager at work, my boss literally scolded me with twitched red eyes as if she was in rage only for the reason I messaged her after work hours and then two weeks later i was fired!

  • Wow! This is an amazing video wonderful response! I have been bullied at work…I did end up quitting my job and am now beginning a new one. Thank you for your insight!!!

  • Your images and references are mainly of women. That’s not okay. I think this pushes a subliminal message of women that’s unhealthy. Then add to the fact that your wife isnt in the video…the points were received but the delivery feels sexist.

  • Step 1. If being teased, say this: Huh? Where’s that sound coming from? Can’t see anyone talking to me….
    Step 2. I usually do this, so you can just say and do this: I’ll show you humour, (ten you can kick or punch)

  • Step 1. Try to be as annoying as possible but only use these tactics: Copy what they say and do, Say random words, change the subject alot or repeat this line: ” Your fleas are stupid ”
    Step 2. Carry on your chosen tactic until they get physical.
    Step 3. Dont fight back, just run off giggling.
    Step 4. Shout this line when you reach a group of friends: ” Hi! ”
    Step 5. Stare at the teaser once they caught up with you.
    Step 6. Say this: ” Is this a friend of yours? Anyone? “

  • You will need

    A computer

    The Internet

    A room with a bed and food.

    What to do
    1-Go into room with computer.

    2-Boot up computer

    3-Go on internet

    4-Profit.

  • I work with girls who are alot younger than me, and one is friends with my boss. They are in a clique, and you guessed it, I’m not apart of it. My lead is an overt narcissist, and I am a quiet push over who doesn’t have boundaries…perfect target.

  • …No. This wont work! I’m in high school and I need to know how to cope when people talk shit about me! Also if I try to rebel or talk trash too, I’ll get my ass kicked!

  • How to Cope With Teasers (My Version)
    WARNING: DO THIS AT YOUR OWN RISK
    Step 1: Get a Gun
    Step 2: Shoot the teasers in the ass
    Step 3: Move to another country
    Step 4: Change your name
    Step 5: Have a great life!
    Did you know that you can’t get away with this?

  • i know 1st go to someone that hates you then distract them because they will say somethhing or do something you hate. 2nd run to the teacher on yard duty but pretend that your actully doing it3rd they will apolligise

  • If you find yourself in a situation with these types of bullies, it’s very important that you DOCUMENT EVERY SINGLE INCIDENT. A lengthy documented work history can prove invaluable when you report the harassment, or the bullies attempt to report you. Secondly, keep your personal life and all personal information about yourself PRIVATE! Do not socialize with these people, block them on social media, and only communicate with them as much as you have to in order to do your job effectively. Keep your personal life completely separate from the office, and don’t let them get into your head. Bullies crave attention, and by denying them that you take away a lot of their power.

  • Step 1: Glue a quarter to the middle of the road.
    Step 2: Drop your change on the road while they’re around.
    Step 3: Be patient.
    Step 4: Peace and quiet.

  • I work for a family company. The boss son and his friend are doing shit that’s going to get them fucked up I’m tired of they bullshit and when you say something the overwhelming visceral hateful shit coming from office his family I’m at my end.

  • Step 1: Grab a Gun

    Step 2: Aim at them

    Step 3: Watch them run like a little baby

    Step 4: If a teacher gets mad at you aim at them as well

    Step 5: Watch them run like a little baby also

  • My State doesnt have workplace bully laws in place unless you are a protected class. I am presently being a bully and feel like quitting my job in this economy because I’m at my breaking point.

  • Once bullies are identified at the workplace, there should be projects in place to correct their behavior similar to jails or prisons, but with rehabilitation. If this behavior continues our youth will not want to work! I don’t want to work after experiencing some of things I have. It really rips your ❤️

  • I’m nearly in tears with how accurate this is. I’m dealing with a covert bully at work at the moment and it is absolutely crushing my spirit. His behaviour is almost word for word how Ben describes it in this video. I am the only female in an all male office of only 10 people. Everyone in the office knows that I am being bullied but nobody has ever stuck up for me because it would mean that the bully would turn on them as well. He is a big, overbearing grumpy man. We don’t have any sort of HR Department and my 2 bosses cannot deal with any sort of conflict. I just wish I knew what to say back to my bully when he is horrible to me or tries to micromanage me even though he has nothing to do with my job. I know that he has the issues and not me. I am fairly unproblematic and I am a really friendly girl and I do my job really well and I’m well liked in the office but the bully drags me down every day. Thanks for the video Ben. I do feel somewhat better being able to put a label on my bullies behaviour and knowing that it is in fact bullying and not me being oversensitive.

  • Sad thing is their are several that I work with. I’ve become just as nasty and mean to them to knock them doen.
    No go on management, work at a family business where the manager is a part of the family and turns a blind eye. Should I go? I’m about to, physical and mental health is being affected.

  • I worked at a large retail store, the bullying started with two or three but spread to others and they were sabataging my work, making my job miserable.

  • Step 1: Say I like pickles over and over again until they are annoyed. Step 2: get a piano and smash it over their head. It kills them. Step 3: steals a tiger from the zoo, ride it, and bring it to school. People will think you are insane. Tip: scream in their ear. Step 4: Blackmail. It always works, trust me. Step 5: if you’re teaser is a girl, slap her…. HARD! If its a boy, kick him in the balls. Either why get a knife in chase them. Did you know: boys who are teasers get kicked in the balls

  • I’m getting followed by bullies and there buddies non stop. They are very sneaky and do it when I’m alone and it’s been very hard to prove. Most people say I sound crazy. But my wife has seen it first hand. It’s happened outside of work as well.

  • Thank you for bringing this topic to light. I’m going through harassment. I brought up this issue to managment. My mind is stressed out and makes me want to flee. I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of destroying me

  • Ok WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR PEOPLE. What I would do is talk to a teacher and WARN them that I will fight back if they make me mad. THEN WHEN YOU GET TO YOUR HOUSE START WORKING OUT until he gets you mad again. And then when you get into a fight they, they won’t get you in trouble it’s simple.

  • I would of told her that I’m here because I was asked. Then I would ask her why she asked me that, it would make the women feel award for asking then. I would ask her if everything is OK and that I’m here if she needs to talk lol

  • I distanced myself from someone at work because I wasn’t receiving the proper training and I politely asked them to demonstrate a task. Instead of suggesting I ask someone else, they had to be dramatic and aggressive about their demonstration. I did not stomp away or become negative. I simply distanced myself but said hello and spoke about work-related tasks with no indication that I did not like them after the incident. Next thing I know, he’s trying to turn everyone against me. He mowed TOWARDS my car and VERY CLOSELY to my hood, leaving a disastrous amount of clippings on my car. There were lines in the grass that showed how incredibly close he got to my vehicle. Everyone else’s vehicle was fine. I also had a closed protein drink in the fridge at work and it seems like someone tampered with it and caused the top portion to become dirty. He’s done several other things as well. He has tried to convince people at work that I do not know any better and decided to stop speaking to me altogether. Like someone else has said, working at a small company is difficult, especially when they’re all in each other’s business. I thought I was working with grownups but I was sadly mistaken. I was actually warned by a customer that there is a high turnover rate and now I know why. This guy also waits around for people to mess up a task that so he can run and tell my supervisor. Oh well. Thank you for reassuring me that I’m the sane one.

  • My best friend is constantly touching me and undodes my bra in public but its okay since I do those things to her and we just laugh about it

  • Great video. I am dealing with this problem unfortunately right now until I change to a night shift. The best thing is to work alone at night with less people.

  • Good information, but the sound is poor-volume very low-my speakers both on computer and video set at highest level-I can hardly hear video-my hearing is good.

  • Again I ask.. how did YouTube know I am dealing with this
    I have dealt with this and severe micromanaging and the HR would rather put me down and appease these people then hear me say… this is wrong…
    Prior to this job I worked in a small office where I experienced a overt bully who lied…screamed..manipulated… tampered… deceipt her way through my time there… until one day she pushed me too far…. needless to say I am pleased to repeat that she was curtailed like the spineless creature she is… pity it took me leaving for management to see that…
    I have realised that I experience bullying because I am not a clique person… cliques dont like people who are not afraid of them

  • What if the bully is not your boss boss but just someone your boss has let lead the office, should you go to your actual boss and tell her that you have been treated this way for over a year now?

  • My HR also couldn’t help. But my manager left when he felt he was exposed all around. Into our department and also the teams that sit nearby and he has run out of all sort of tantrums that he had in his power to try

  • That’s one of the reason on why I can’t make friends at work as an adult. That’s why I only have acquaintances and like to socialize, but not to the point where a close friendship is developed. My school days were better because I had close friends that were sincere and reliable. But later as an adult, people were beginning to change. As soon as I entered the professional world, I realized that it was very different now. I was nice to them all the time but they never returned that kindness back. I know it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong to them. It’s them that isolated me and sabotage my success. Now I keep my senses sharp to detect any form of bullying.

  • And it doesnt even matter if your the best good worker, if they dont like you your most likey at risk for bullying or and getting fired. So sad. Do your job,refrain from speaking on your feelings or thoughts TO ANYONE! Save money, plan A-Z and pray!! God bless good luck! ��

  • I reported one of the work bullies to HR and all they told me is that I had to talk to the manager about, which I did and the manager arranged a meeting with me and the bulley, yeah that went well, everyone knows Iam being bullied even the big boss and they do nothing about it they told me they can not make people like me. I just want to be treated civil nothing more. I have done nothing to deserve this I guess they have to pick on someone

  • Yeah, but what do you do if you have been so bullied much that you can’t even speak straight? VP hates the person. Even good relationships turn sour. The person is smart, capable, and gets bullied. This person now thinks they are dumb and unlikable. Which is untrue. Project managers, managers, and up all bullies.

  • I was being sexually harassed at my job and my dip shit manager told me it was just a joke seriously the weather why he told me this at my job so he can defend the coworkers and coworkers are best friends with my managers he doesn’t want me to file a lawsuit against him well guess what I am

  • To the b** that’s been trying to bully me because she’s jealous well you may win the fight but you’re not going to win the war because I’m working on taking my power back and when I do you will be reduced be reduced to nothing I refuse to quit my job I will see you tomorrow

  • What form of bullying is it when your manager has you do something (like a procedure, task) then when it doesn’t turn out the way it should be you get dinged for it? Or if he dinged you for menial things and writes you up for it (that could lead to termination).

  • One thing about covert bullies is after meetings at work they intimidate in the hallway by harassing you where nobody sees the action.

  • someone tried to make fun of my haircut during a class once and i was like really? yo mama seemed to like it last night! fucker couldn’t say shit to me

  • I just started a new job left a great job for what I thought was a better opportunity. The only apprehension I had was what if I hate it�� And omg I am shocked at the brazen bullying. I have a pretty tough skin but it’s 8-10 hours of it.

  • I work at an airport, my supervisor is a fucking dick he keeps giving me the hardest tasks. He sent me to another station because we had an overload of flights where I had to work 12 hours a day (anything above 8 hrs is not paid) for a whole month. Now when there’s no more pressure there, he sent his brother instead of me to just work 3 hours a day since flights have been reduced.

    So I went today to see him, he smirked and said are you prepared to work here now? I said no I’m prepared to have a vacation, his face turned red. I called the girl responsible for the ticketing in front of him and she gave me a free ticket just to piss him off because she knows he’s a dickhead. His reaction was priceless:)

  • I work in a daycare center and I recently started at a new one about 2 weeks ago. So the room I work in has two classes in it but we separate with a room divider for some parts of the day so the kids won’t run to the other class. Basically I noticed the teacher for the other class is a sociopath worse then any other employees I ever met from all my jobs. Her class is older and more well behaved so she doesn’t do as much work as me and the other teacher do because our kids are younger. This week I was sick and didn’t feel so good and we had a new boy who is giving us a hard time because he cries and won’t nap. So me and the other teacher don’t get to rest as much as we usually do during the time the kids nap for 3 hours. I noticed she’s always watching me from across the room. Last week I went to the bathroom and I heard her say to the other teacher why is using the bathroom for so much… she isn’t in charge of me or has any authority. She needs to look at her own kids instead I feel like she is watching my every move as much as she can. She’s sneaky and takes advantage of the other teacher also. Also she won’t offer to help you if she sees u struggling with something. She doesn’t have empathy. I also heard her muttering under her breath last week and she said something about me I asked her to speak up cause I didn’t hear her. But I did hear what she said and just wanted her to repeat herself but she didn’t look at me and acted like she didnt hear me calling her. Yesterday In the morning we opened and were waiting for kids to show up and I was on my phone looking at new ideas for some art projects for the class and was talking with my teacher about it. Then a boy from our class showed up and she muttered under her breath smhh she sits on her phone. It’s not her bus’s I was what I do at all and there weren’t any kids from my group yet until that boy showed up. Last week I was more assertive if I saw her act up so she didn’t bother me till a few days ago again and since I was sick I felt more tired and didn’t have energy to speak to her because also the new boy is a handful and is interfering with our break I couldn’t rest like I normally do. Since she won’t help us when she is not busy at all she enjoys her full 3 hours sitting and eating and taking a nap also. Me and the other women only got 30minutes because of the new child. Instead of offering help she criticizes. Also we take turns cleaning up in the kids bathroom and it was my turn yesterday and I closed the door during cleaning so I won’t wake any kids up from noises she does the same but yesterday she walked in on me cleaning and was going to keep the door open but I told her that I wanted it closed since I making noise from moving things. It was weird that she walked In and was trying to even have the door opened. It wasn’t locked and we all don’t monitor one another I don’t care what she does and how she does it. We are all equal there! I don’t understand why she is trying to get involved in what I am doing and these two she has been doing it more. If I need help I can ask her or my other teacher. But she is going out of her way to monitor me. Then later during the day I asked her were the bandages were for a girl and she told me the bathroom. So I went into get some and only found tiny ones so I was checking In other spots around the supplies in our bathroom in our cubby area. She then walked in the bathroom since I didn’t lock the door and saw me almost look in this plastic bag that was near other supplies and she said oh that mine. I said oh sorry I was just trying to find bigger bandages. It was a plastic bag she lead standing there since we leave stuff in the cubbies also but it wasn’t a big deal I didn’t open the bag even since she walked in on me. But once again this is the second time she walked in on me doing something of my own business which is part of my job! Next time I will always lock the door even if I
    Not using the bathroom because what if she walked in on me using the bathroom. She needs to back off and mind her own business. I was to sick and really not feeling good to talk to her about it but I will the next she does anything I don’t like. She doesn’t need to try to invade my space or monitor me but she is and I think she is developing some sort of obsession in watching me. It seems like she wants to have control over me and doesn’t like when she can’t see what I am doing. That also makes sense why she made a comment about me using the bathroom for a long time last week which I heard through the door. She doesn’t pay attention to me when the bosses wife is helping with the food. So she is doing it when there is no bosses in the room. I need to make sure this doesn’t continue because I can tell it’s going to get worse if I don’t say something to her again. And make it clear. I don’t need her to monitor me but I know she might still stare from across the room. But what should I say to her because I can tell she isn’t going to back off right away. I already told her last week. She saw that I wasn’t feeling well so she took the opportunity to make things harder for me. I don’t care if she stares at me till eyes bleed but I won’t let her give me suggestions on what to do from across the room. She is cold and angry I haven’t seen her show genuine affection to her class or smile genuinely. I don’t know why she would work in a daycare center if she has zero emotion I haven’t seen anyone like this from other jobs. Even walking past her you feel coldness she has a dark negative presence around her. It’s almost like she’s not fully human. I’m not even joking. She does communicate with parents and the bosses wife who brings food for the kids. So she tries to act more involved but still you can see that she’s doing it for her own benefit. She told the boss that I went in her bag later when he came in but he didnt mention it to me. He knows that she is crazy so that’s a good thing because if I mention it to him then he won’t be surprised. He doesn’t like her but he doesn’t act rude to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was alittle afraid of her honestly because she was yelling at the other teacher two days ago also and it seems like she has control because she takes advantage of the other teacher also. I like working with kids but I have never met an employee this bad. She’s a women in her late 50s and I’m 25. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with her because now that I am not sick anymore I have to make sure she falls back but it won’t be a one time conversation I can tell. I don’t pay attention to her and do my job that’s all. What made her want to start trying to have power over me? If she spends a lot of time watching me I feel like she can also go and try to tell the boss things so he won’t like me. She already tried to say I touched her bag when she knew it was an accident because she said it’s ok to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if she already said something to him when I wasn’t around about me. The boss likes me so far and she probably doesn’t like that. She seems to be trying to have him dislike me because if he doesn’t like me as much anymore then she can try to have more power over me. And I said “try” so I can see what she’s trying to do. She is one crazy bitch! I could feel her hate when she I see her glaring at me also. Its not normal to stare at someone for thar long. And she also says things under her breath. I can tell she’s smart tho because she doesn’t get the boss ever talking rude with her but he does act mean to the teacher from my class. So she managed to find a way to take advantage of the other teacher because when our class is combined my teacher works with her kids but she takes a chair and sits on her fat ass. She made her fear her I guess. She probably also wants me to become afraid of her so she can have take advantage more. Thats why she is probably angry since she still didn’t gain control over me. That is why she is staring at me to study my work habits and find my weaknesses so she can try to use against me. Also I don’t need to look at her directly to see if she watching me. I saw from the corner of my eyes too. I know I wrote a lot sorry lol but she is a new type of bad.

  • There is one person who is exactly as you describe. He is loud, gregarious, very smart and verbally adroit. Everyone seems to fear him and I know that he has caused mental anguish to the point where people have stoppped coming in to work. At the same time, he can be really funny too. He has everyone eating out of the palm of his hand but he has also been passed up for promotion because no one at the senior level wishes to work with him. There is a veritable change in mood when he is not there. I wonder why no one has spoken out.

  • All I can say is leave your job if you’re being bullied, get another, it is not worth the stress, those nasty, vindictive, jealous people will meet someone just like themselves one day, I thought I would be letting people down if I left, I let myself down by staying! thankfully I’m now free.

  • Think there can be a mixed bag inside one or more of these type bullies. Thanks for this insight. Narcissistic behaviour seems intermingled from what I’ve read…nasty beings. Wish more organizations would hire “hidden” sociopathologists to quietly bring these types to the light of mgmnt who will DO something!

  • These are good points. We hope that these topics are continuing to be discussed and addressed. There are various ways that workplace bullies try to justify their behavior and even reward their behavior of going after persons who are usually doing good work and who are transparent about their work efforts. Ironically, the work place bullies have very strange skills of turning things upside down and to make appearances favor the bully.

  • I recently moved seats in science and the people I sit next to are always rude to me, for example: if I try to talk to them they say “We’re not talking to you” or “I’m not talking to you” Even when we’re supposed to. They also keep teasing me on my work quality, I made a video because we needed to and they said “Your video was cringe ” I know it’s not bad but it hurts because it was only me. I just don’t even want to do my work because they’ll just make fun of it.

  • All these happened to me for many years. And now I had to sue the company them to stop the crap because I got stressed, got sick physically and mentally. One guy seeing all the time the other were abusing me, and one day, this guy said: “Welcome to heaven”, and I said “If this is heaven, give me hell” and he laught.

  • The female manager in my department is the covert leader who encourages others to bully me and recrouts the new comers to join their team. It’s very stressful and my boss is too dumb to notice.

  • Nice Video… I also recommend the below link on ��
    https://youtu.be/Dzr_OKOtuAA
    Dealing with Bad Boss… there is a Entire Series of 5 Types of Bad Boss and how to Identify them

  • I was bullied for four years and then I just walked out as I got so ill from it. I looked like a walking corpse, it was horrible. I’m waiting for karma to catch up to them.

  • I have been in this situation for 10 years, to label me a professional victim is not helping. My only option is to leave as this now includes a Vice President too. This has affected my sleep, who I am, and my health. None of this is worth anything, build up your self confidence and leave. Such work environments have redress processes in place and even where they do, HR will mark you as a trouble maker and you will face further retaliation from the supervisor, because the bully is their best friend who gets things done. Bullies are psychopaths who have no consciences and therefore appealing to their higher angels is 9f no use, they have none. Pray to God and work on changing your situation.

  • This is a great topic, however the sound was too low, and I couldn’t hear everything you say. Please update this video with better sound, or write on a blog to read. Love peace, light!

  • Dear Ben, You are fabulous and kind….I am grateful and appreciate the way you care and share your knowledge and wisdom, so that we may free ourselves and others.
    Best wishes dear fellow

  • But it’s my teachers who tease my class mates rarely…

    Once my classmate yelled I NEED A PENCIL and my math teacher said well I need a million dollars, so give me that first.

    Then my writing teacher said if she threw your homework away, why didn’t she throw you away?

    SO WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!

  • I started a new job about 4 months ago and from the first day I was made to feel unwelcome by a couple coworkers. One in particular, who would be sweet one day or moment and basty the next. I let a lot of things just roll off my back because i try not to take things personal. It got to where she aggressively got in my face about some percieved slight against her, it was out of the blue and i could not make sense out of why she was behaving in that manner to me or what i could have possibly done to set her off. I did talk to the manager, who admitted there had been problems with that employee in the past for similar behavior. Management spoke to her and she apologized the next time i saw her, although it felt forced and insincere. Shortly after she had rallied another coworker to her side, someone i had been able to talk to and never had any problems with who after would ignore or make smirks or faces whenever i came into the room. I have started to notice little things being done to mess with me…for instance my towel warmer was mysteriously turned off when i checked my room before my last client (i work in a spa) and all my towels were cold, i have found oil spilled on my floor and weird little things of that nature. I just spoke to the supervisor to let her know what i am experiencing. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it or mistakenly accuse anyone of shady behavior but there are too many weird things to be a coincidence. I feel as if i am being sabotaged somehow. I have never dealt with things of this nature before. Any advice on or insight into my situation would be greatly appreciated.

  • What about overt lying?! Because I don’t become subservient to his ‘manage by demeaning and criticism ‘ Manager, he has begun a smear campaign lying in fictional assaults on my performance, casting me as incompetent. He NEVER gives commendation or encouragement, just criticism. I’m emailing HR on Monday and copying the Dept Head who is conducting 3 classes trying to fill all the Call Center slots she has. I’m asking to be transferred to another Manager bc I’ll be fired if I continue w him.

  • He’s describing black female bosses. Actually I can think of females of other races who are like covert bullies: forming cliques, gossipers, playing the blame game, hyper sensitive,…

  • I just join a new company though out my 1 month under training with the manager, she is indirectly manipulating me using words… And holding information… What should I do?

  • i am currently working with a workplace where there is a supervisor that makes it her natural born duty to create havoc, and division among coworkers. She makes snarky remarks behind your back, rolls eyes, speaks ill of other associates to customers, dislikes you with no valid reason, and the worse thing of it all her son her works within this environment and seems to have been given the same personality traits. So not only do you have one bully, but you have two, in which they both are capable of ganging up on individuals. She has been caught in two situations where she was seen on camera sticking her middle finger up to an associates back and i remember a person of leadership saying that it was “funny”. slap on the wrist #1 Where i work it is known that associates are not to receive paid merchandise specifically tobacco and or liqour products. She was caught by another associate watching her receive tobacco products (mind you they were not a gift, because she gave the money to the customer to buy them) from the customer. She was to be suspended for 6 weeks but management at the time was able to swing her out of that. slap on the wrist #2 its almost as if she is untouchable because she has the 30 plus years of service.

    she picks her victims and makes it damn near unbearable for you to want to come to work. she likes to pick the ones who she feels wont stand up to her, in fact that makes her job all the more fun when it comes to being a bully. makes it more enjoyable. and due to her lack of leadership skills we have a high turnover rate. once new associates come aboard and realize the person they are working with it doesnt take long at all for them to realize its not for them. honestly i dont know i have stayed as long as i have. its unfortunate when you feel like you only have one option and your stuck because of a paycheck. why do these type of people exist?

  • Any tricks for dealing with the professional victim type? Where you are set up to look like the bad guy and their feelings are the only oned that matter? Can’t look at themselves… And possibly deliberately bate you?

  • ITS NO USE GOING TO EEOC BECAUSE EEOC ALMOST ALWAYS SIDES WITH THE BUSINESS SAME AS JUDGES SIDE WITH APT MGRS. IF YUR A REGULAR PERSON JUST TRIENG TO GET BY THEN YOR NOT IMPORTANT TO THEM AND THEY DONT WANNA UPSET THE APPLE CART. THE ONLY TIME YOULL SEE A PERSON USE THE EEOC OR LAOBORBOARD AND WIN WILL BE A POLICE OFFICER. SO THE GOVT SHOULD BE HONEST AND SAY HEY GUYS………….WE HAVE RULES AND COURTS TO USE BUT ONLY COPS MATTER. IT SHOULDNT BE LIKE THIS BUT IT IS AND IT WONT CHNGE UNLESS MORE PEOPLE START THE IDEA OF A NEW GOVT AND ELECTING OUR OWN PEOPLE THROUGH THE INTERNET. USE THE CAMERAS AGAINST THE MGRS AND WHEN A ELECTED ADMN WATCHING THE CAMERAS AT WORK AT EVERY JOB CATCHES A MGR BULLYING OR BELLITTLING A PERSON AT THE JOB THEN THAT ADMN HAS THE RIGHT TO FIRE THAT MGR AND CLOCK HIM OR HER OUT AND SEND THAT PERSON HOME. I SAY THATS WHAT WE NEED NO COURTS. NO JUDGES. SIMPLY ADMNS LIKE CHATROOMS HAVE.

  • I like that he came right out and stated the two pieces of advice you’ll always hear (going to HR, or confronting the bully) will not work. Very astute as well to point out the bully is like a bacterium, who needs the favorable environment of perceived weakness to express his toxicity. Sadly, the perceived weakness may be nothing more than someone coming from a different line of work, or a different culture or society, and may need some support, not the sledgehammer of the opportunistic infection.

  • My being bullied situation was nightmare. I lost my job and even after that the bully and rumor still affected on me to find the job in the same field. After 8 month’s unemployment, I found the job in a totally other industry and started as a beginner. I experienced all the things mentioned,got isolated, rumors, all mistake counted on me, designed traps, assignments of the tasks out of my competency, minimized me, not allowing me to add value on the job, double faced, made me to carry over the others mistakes, gave me wrong indication and when the problem happened, she started to lie that I did it willful without listening her prevention. All because she wanted to introduce her friend in to take over my job. And one time my husband talked something to defend me and irritated her. She complained me for my husband’s behavior to HR with exaggeration and false wording and threaten me to quit. I suffered a lot of that time, sleepless, helpless, cry, lost a lot of hairs, depressed. I won’t forgive this person even one day she dies.

  • Well explained and best advice ever in this vid! For anyone bullied out there the other thing is dont start thinking it is something wrong with you. It is a lack of power and influence that causes bullying and mobbing. Bullies will try it on with anyone around them all the time because they are scared it will happen to them.

    From what i have seen a bully will often pick on someone intelligent with a sence of integrity but lacking confidence. They are often jelous of their targets or simply dont like them for being different in some way.

    These are the steps are from a book i read to combat my workplace bullying and they worked for me.

    One, you are at War. These folks are Not your friends. They have lost respect for you and their preditory side is prevailing. Go to ground. Do not engage in unnessary conversation and at all costs do not share your troubles with anyone in your workplace as it will be used against you. Be pleasant and walk away from any bs from anyone. Practice. Dont beat yourself up if you dont quite feel strong enough to do this. You dont have to be nice/polite/good. The next time it will work.

    Two. After work take some time to write down the strengths/weaknesses of people. Then right down alliances. Work out how the power base sits within the office. Most get a feeling of this. The strongest alliances often will have the most influence. Those at the top are not the bullies they are the go-to-people/take it or leave it folks that are invited to things by many people.

    Three. Give the impression you are supportive/in the confidence of those in power. Make others question the status quo. Eg. Take time out to quietly go and work on a ‘special unknown project’ that the boss/their boss has asked you to do. Drop a subtle hint to someone who is a gossip. Dont go public. If anyone asks be noncommittal and change the topic to them. Its about the impression. Their mind will do the rest like a horror film where you never see the whole monster.

    Four. Attack phase. Systematically undermine the bonds of power between the bullies attack dogs and the bully (think mean girls). Identify things that they want/need from the bully. Remember they were subjected to bad treatment from them at one stage and lost/became scared of them. They are not friends as there is a power imbalance. Give them the impression that they are out of favor and next to be treated poorly.

    Be kind to those that are percieved as weak or lower on the ladder. Look for integrity and strength of character. Create private alliances with these folks and gain information about your bully/ies Catch up out of work. They will be your eyes/ears but do not create public alliances with these people yet. Timing. There will be a time when folks question the competence of their assh#$l bully leader. Strike by Fanning the flames of doubt in their supporters to overcome their fears. Dont attack directly, but let them know you are not to be messed with by them.

    Lastly, create your own network that can rival your bully. Get in the position where your bully will need to come to you because of your influence. Treat them like a snake handler with a pet snake. Remember bullies have picked you because you are percieved as smart but weak. Use that smartness stategically and things will change.
    And Never Never go to HR unless you are using it to move jobs.

    Good luck ☺

  • I’m dealing with workplace bullying as we speak, they hired a new girl and we’ve only had her for a month and she thinks she’s the manager and is after my manager’s position and is already telling me what to do, micromanaging me, criticizing everything I do complaining just generally and it’s stressing me out because if I quit I am so scared of losing my apartment and everything that I work hard for ☹️ I dealt with this before many times and I’ve had many bosses that put me down mentally or cut my hours for me to quit, this new girl is having her friend be hired by my manager and I know it’s going to go sour real quick because the favoritism is going to take over and I work at my other job and my current manager is very flexible with my other work schedule and when the new girl takes over as manager she will most likely have no mercy with my work schedule because she doesn’t like me to begin with… I’ve been crying a lot the past few weeks and I am so scared of losing my apartment and everything that I have worked hard for��

  • Great advice! My plan was to quit my job in March, but then Covid came and I had the opportunity to work from home. It was a really good situation for me because I didn’t have to be around my Narcissistic boss. Now we’re back in the office and her and her flying monkey’s are back to their old routine in tormenting me. All I want to do is quit, but there’s a pandemic and I feel completely stuck. Everyone is saying to stay strong, but I’m back to crying all the time. What do I do?

  • Get out!!!!!!! Run for your life and don’t look back. Sometimes it’s better to walk away than to stay. Its a strength not a weakness. Places like this will suck the life out of you. These people are sick and demon possessed. Narcissistic leadership is debilitating. If you’re not careful and wise enough to get out, you’ll become one of them.

  • i clicked this video because im in a pretty bad bullying situation at my company and ive been trying to figure out what to do to change my situation… and oh my gosh, i cant believe I’ve been doing everything right so far, i naturally get along very well with other top management on several topics both personal and cross team projects. im in the weird place where im flawless at my job, my top management in our original french company, adore me… my only issue is my craaaaazy superior. im sure it’s partial jealousy, and im very aware they’re (of course they have a click against me) projecting their stuff on me. Even if, i gotta say, my “come close to power” did not make the bullying stop. In some cases (jealousy) it made it way harder for me. But i ignored it as i could.

    wow im happy to know my “have close access to power” is a good tactic (even if it happened unintentionally for me). Good intuition i guess:)). I’ll be sure to keep it up. Thanks so much for this!

  • Hi Deniz,
    I’ m new to workplace but I noticed a coworker gave me bad hatred looks, and speak from a distance saying hey u didn’t do this or that in front of others in a belittling way and she would criticize me in front of others and say nonsense comment; how can i deal with her?? Thank you

  • psychopaths are more common than we think, especially as the world becomes more over-populated, there’s more competition now for jobs.

  • I feel like crying, my coworkers are bullying me EVERYDAY since one of our coworkers were fired, and even before that, but now it’s worse because I have to deal with some problems at home too and it’s really overwhelming…I try not to react to them but I’ve gotten to the poiny where I feel like crying everytime I think I have to go to work and spend 7 hrs with them, I feel sick, worse of all is I can’t even quit because my mom and sister depend on me

  • I had a former boss who was a screaming mimi and ironically she became the director of sales because she was in tight with one of the directors. Office politics

  • This is the best advice i have ever heard on the subject. I just went thru an agonizing office situation. I am older…much older than some around me..and i do know my job very well having done it for over 20 years. I got thrust into a new environment and have been treated like crap from very young managers for no reason. I was clearly targeted. I chose to retire earlier than i planned..infact this very week. I left my job at the absolute worst time for anyone who needs to learn it. I took the high road and gave ample notice and left survival tools in place for anyone who needs to know what to do. But they will be absolutely slammed and overwhelmed. If they had even treated me nicely for one day since ive joined them a year ago i wouldnt be leaving at all much less sticking it to them in this way. But karma is a bitch and they are about to find that out.

  • It is the pyramidal structural system what makes it be like this. Finding alliances does help heaps. If you look you will find someone I’m sure. Don’t be afraid also to speak your truth and defend your self. That will give you satisfaction in the long term when you look back.

  • I think the problem shouldnt be seen as a way to boost ones own ego. A bully is someone who is struggling with something and doesn’t have the correct way of articulation for those feelings. We should be showing them the correct way without turning it into a battle.

  • I am experiencing bully by my Ph.D. advisor in economics Ph.D. from
    Syracuse University as an international student. Feel hopeless.

  • I am experiencing bully by my Ph.D. advisor in economics Ph.D. from
    Syracuse University as an international student. Feel hopeless.

  • I am experiencing bully by my Ph.D. advisor in economics Ph.D. from
    Syracuse University as an international student. Feel hopeless.

  • I just want to say. I have lived that. I mean it looks like harassment but it’s not that. That’s really basic bullying. Some people are just evil.

  • They do it in different ways. My partner is ex navy officer and MBA columbia. Smart but also very tough physically (weight trainer and endurance races) so all the bully’s know they can not cut it normal way. Only way they can do it, is not talking to him and try and hold back certain information.

  • My problem is that i work in a small firm (family owned) for about 15 yrs, now for a number of reasons, things are getting very quiet.. And the bullying will get ever more intense now the orders are getting less & less.. I think it will come to a head soon. But there is no where for me go within the firm..

  • I just got promoted to a manager. But my subordinates who were my peers have become very hostile towards me. I have power both professionally and personally: top level management value me and everyone knows that. I’ve always been kind supportive and patient to my subordinates. But they are bullying me non stop. They would gossip, exlude me, yell at me, correct my documents. What can I do? Please help me. I worked day and night sacrificed my whole life to get where I am today

  • Im currently going to hr to make a report about my general manager as of this past 24hrs and i know your only responding to ur email/letter but now i feel more nervous and scared on going thru what i am going thru and now im freaking out��

  • Agreed, join and sign up for committees or join groups that have high level execs… access to those in power!!! Yes, great advice!

  • HR may not be helpful, but it is a paper trail that may be needed down the road, so HR is important. But in most instances, I agree with you. I think if you don’t show reaction, it scares them, but ultimately finding another place of employment is important. Peace of mind is more than $.

  • My boss just sabotaged my transfer to another location. He said I am rarely ever there (I took some days off at the beginning of the year due to the flu, having a 100 degree+ fever, etc.) The other day he slapped my ass (not sexually but to be “funny” and to humiliate me). When I had returned from being sick, he asked me, “is your vagina still hurting or do you need to go home again?” He will never let you stand up for yourself, is a narcissist, and makes a lot of money to basically walk around and make jokes all day. I bust my ass, and he criticises every little thing I do. He keeps getting promoted and nobody seems to dislike him, but I need this job. Very frustrating, as he is in control of my livelihood and is really messing with my self esteem. He is very unprofessional but the higher-ups like him because he is a jokey “funny” (not in my opinion) extroverted guy. I’m quiet and subdued, and my introversion counts against me. Okay, end rant lol

  • My current work all my my coworkers is this kind of people who constantly judges even small mistake they comprises screaming mimi,two headed snake, and constant critics.I used to think am i not good enough?i usually heard them laughing so hard and used those words that really question my identity like talking shit and say the word ” fool ” to me i dont know if i could stand it anymore…I file for resignation but they refuse to accept my letter because of complicated situations like few employees..hope someone will suggest anything.what would i do this time sorry for my english

  • When I went and befriend hirer ups I got called in and said I was going above and not respecting my manager and circling around her!

  • I got bullied I volunteer my colleague was bullying me because off my accent I reported him and after a couple of weeks it got sorted and the colleague apologised

  • Everything you just mentioned in the video is what’s happening to me. It’s to the point where I can’t even have a good night’s rest. You have a new subscriber.

  • I work in a school that has therapists and teachers. My boss (the principal of the school) is also a therapist and never was a teacher. He favors the therapists and ALL of their decisions, including how we should do our classroom schedules and allows students to miss class if their therapist wants them to. I’ve been bullied for trying to change the power imbalance and it’s caused me a TON of physical and emotional pain. I literally have a pounding headache right now. I don’t know what to do to get justice. “Bullying” isn’t considered illegal so I don’t know what to do or who to go to. I’m so absolutely disgusted with my boss’s behavior. Other teachers also don’t like it but nobody says anything because they are made to believe it’s unprofessional and immature to not just accept whatever we are told to do without complaining.

  • I was bullied by mostly girls at college just because they were jealous of me. They gave backhanded compliments. Told me I couldn’t sit with them. Criticise me for dressing nicely telling me I’m overdressed and a tryhard. One chick would poke me hard for making perceived mistakes and for wearing new clothing. They’d insult me in front of then. Cyberbully me by trying to get me banned on Facebook. I was apparently showing off. They would often exclude me. Lie to me tell me they were dressing casual and then they didn’t. They told me to my face that I always “steal ” their limelight. They broke my chair in class and hoped that I would fall off it. it’s not funny because I have hypermobility and scoliosis and various mental health issues. They would tell me I’m only an amateur when I’ve had more experience than them.

  • I’ve never had a problem with a boss. If I had a boss that was a bully, I’d quit! Easy decision there! Its the fellow workers that I get the most problems from. What if its just another worker who is the bully?

  • Yes you’re right HR are not that helpful. I’ve worked with this kind of manager. No matter how hard you work, he always has bad things to say about me. He went around and speaks ill about me to people outside his team. When he sees me give my best effort at work, the more bad things he says about me. Thanks for the video, Deniz. I believe many people can benefits from this.

  • 75 000 views at the moment I’m watching your video, you deserve much more. Finally someone who gives practical advice that makes sense and actually works! Thank you for the insights.

  • Yea but how to do you deal with victimization from a lectuerer for failing you for not attending his classes furthermore he is a lectuerer at a campus you are just writing exams at�������� Please help

  • I’m the kind of HR that get the verbal bullying from my director. �� It’s a small company. Director is above us all. There’s only 2 HR, and there no one else can help:’)

  • #1 Bully at work today are women. Specifically, White women. Since the 1980’s, these females have been on the march. My sister has told me many instances of such by females. I suffered prejudice from these women since the 1980’s. I dropped out of the workforce and had to start my own business. A friend had discussed Accounting Services with a White broad, and she gave him a tongue lashing. He nevered retained her services, becuase she had demanded that he provide all purchase documents. He did not like her attitude. I had been rountinely called the “Puerto Rican Pimp” in the office.

    Other White broads would make negative statements about Puerto Ricans all the time. Management heard this crap and never interjected. Another man, an Italian was bullied too, and he would have great comeback lines. I am not Puerto Rican. It is good to test people.

    Once I was asked did I bring back the cocaine from Miami by an Irish Mic. The Irish man got to be supervisor as time went on. Then I was told by the same dude that I was not promoted, becuase I make fun of the stupidviosrs. He makes racist statements and gets promoted. Life if focked up. I never had problems with Black women or Asian women in the workplace, and I am a Caucasian man. I forgot, I did have problems with two (2) Jews. A Racist and a bully.

  • I love your video. thank you. Have you any for employees who aren’t supervisors or managers? And do you have any advice for the best school and workplace anti-bullying policies? it will be referenced.

  • I received death threats from an employee a much more aged person for no fault of mine, I’m really scared, he always used to abuse me physically, push me around, hit me, threaten me, insult me verbally, please help

  • All that sounds like the last job I worked Christian Church and I’m white and other staff there are none christion black racists especially the husband I’m a lady they’re supposed to be running the program for people that need help that I got junk there and beat up to so a lot of times when they say the Christian they’re not they’re Lucifer’s children

  • My case is similar. Today i got bullied by my chief officer. The guy literally asked me to draw and write whatever i see in my way. On deck and in Galley. I feel it’s humiliating but i should have kept a cool head!

  • I confronted the bully.. I flashed on him and didn’t bug me no more. Then when we were out on strike, I was asking him if he wanted to say anything on his mind. He was terrified as I stood there. He was out of his element.

  • This is my exact current fight at this very moment I feel for this person there is no help in Australia even the fair work ombudsman won’t help

  • I’ve noticed colleagues turning on me. eg our team goes to a meeting. ‘why do you always sit beside me!?’ I reckon the boss is talking about me negatively. She once said a colleague was off, then said ‘maybe ‘I’ should get addicted to drugs bet I’d be a lot happier’. My work is full of mentally ill people. One team I was in of 8 people, ALL, myself included were on antidepressants! That says something!

  • Narcissist feel like they have
    No emotions

    U need emotions to hate someone
    They alll are retarded
    Trying say they have no emotions
    The emotions is backwards Like
    The mirror is fake
    Like the ones who try to mirror u
    Or fake

    And that’s how you know
    A toxic person trying to hate

    U cannot trust them

  • They never do anything about it
    And the laws is falling apart

    and trying to fix a robot that is
    Like the narcissist is not possible

    and narcissist lie
    All over the place with their
    Monkeys nearby they
    Always acting like they look normal
    Have u ever seen people stare at u
    For no reason since when can 1 billion people know about u
    Talking to them is like talking to a clown who wants to be king or queen

    No wonder why no one wants
    To work for someone above
    Them

    Before u know it every one
    Goes sick from dealing
    With this sick in the head bosses
    They all hide behind a desk
    Narcissist psychopaths they
    All have the nasty disease trying
    To control u ��

    And some love to get
    Brain raped and feeding
    The narcissist but that
    Narcissist boss or mangers
    They all work like robots

    They work over time and drink
    Coffee over time
    They all have the famous attraction addiction

    How can people not see this
    Narcissistic behavior
    And still allow to let them control
    Them

    And still feel empty and toxic
    When they see the one above all
    They trying to be human again

    I be alien and be happy until the end ��

  • Step 1: Grab a Gun

    Step 2: Aim at them

    Step 3: Watch them run like a little baby

    Step 4: If a teacher gets mad at you aim at them as well

    Step 5: Watch them run like a little baby also

    Did You know: Homework sucks

  • That was fantastic material. I’m here as my best friend without warning turned amazing with women. He started getting chicks magically. I was astounded. He pretended he failed to notice. Then he smiled and told me when he was drunk. Turns out he uses the Jake Ayres Master Attraction Formula. Google it and you’ll find it… He’s seeing a beauty…

  • I’m being bullied at work because I told owner that all the other butchers should stay after 4 to make production better,I was threatened by boss he told me if I ever gave my opinions about butcher s working over and hours being changed extended,that I would be fired next time,over my opinion over private conversation with owner son,I was yelled at told I never keep case filled harrassed, and my conversation with owner son is no one’s business, yesterday was the worse day I’m telling you the truth,I’m always told different when comes to me doing my own job after being trained by African American months ago,they never bother the other guy who is African American

  • When u have a work bully the supervisor knows about its been happening and nothing gets done.someone has to really start re cording taking pics complaining its time to go its sad

  • You gave the best answer!!!! This is the most practical answer in the web! Other say, “you should confront the bully” which is total BS!

  • I beat the lazy unreasonable bully who kept moaning and demanding to me…I showed her how loud and tough i was verbally and had an argument with her….Since she saw me getting feisty during arguments and im not going to back out because I had 2 colleagues who will take sides on me because i was right….THE PATHETIC LAZY ENVIOUS BULLY stopped bullying me since then and started being nice to me…but i never trust her shit kindness to me….Just do the right thing…

  • I’m an adult. My friend keeps teasing the people around her, including me. That made me uncomfortable, because I don’t like her remarks about appearances, relationships, behavior or personality. As for my part, there’s no irking teasing for the past 2 months, because she suddenly singled me out from the rest of the crowd, ignore and cut contact with me. It hurt either way to be with such a friend, her talk to me or her don’t talk to me.

    I hope I will have a better defense mechanism for her, and the likes of her, soon.

  • Nobody asks if they can touch someone anymore or at least where i live. When i’m at school there’s this girl who sits behind me in math class and she sometimes pokes my hair. There was this girl in 6th grade who would squeeze and hug her younger cousin and other younger kids without their consent. I wish more people could watch this video

    Edit: Let’s not forget that one time in 5th (or 6th) grade where that one boy just went to me, touched one of my b00bs and then ran away…

  • I have lived the hell of workplace bullies. Power hungry magets, that want to look good to the boss, who is a bullying Narsassistic douche bag himself. He favours the ass kissers and tosses aside, those who do there job and are kind even to difficult customers… May they rot in hell…!! Karma will get them…!!

  • Thank you so much for the bit about consent also applying to touches and hugs. I get uncomfortable when people touch me, to the point that when I’m touched without permission, I often feel like I’m going to vomit. I don’t know what exactly what causes this discomfort, but I really appreciate that you touched on the topic. I’m constantly touched by people without permission, and as I said, I get so uncomfortable that I want to vomit. I wish more people understood consent beyond sexual acts.

  • The way I handled this was being direct with the person. I told the bully everything that needed to be said especially if they are lazy. The bully may not like it, but it doesn’t matter it made me have POWER!! The bully NEVER again said anything to me again!!

  • Most of these bullies are narcissists. 70% of workers say they ae being bullied in the workplace… I found just totally ignoring and being moved across the office from the bully was the only way… If I wasn’t as good as I am at sales I would’ve been fired and I defended myself not to her but to the owner… but she never totally stopped…just kept upping the game….so eventually I stopped fighting her and just did my job well so her leverage was diminished…But it was a soul sucking experience and made me introverted… She was about as bad as it could get she did everything you mentioned and more… I left there 5 mos ago and couldn’t be happier I would recommend people get out and find a different job or situation…it’s not worth it.

  • My “friend” does this… He gets me in an armbar and threatens to break my arm alot. My friends and I have told him to stop quite alot but he still does it. He makes fun of me and one of my friends who is also LGBT joking around but it is still kind of hurtful. I only stick around with him cause he has no other friends really. What should I do.

  • I just found this channel and have been watching with my young daughterthis kind of video is super helpful when talking to her about these hard topics. I appreciate your videos so much!!

  • I got my period during Science class, and I had an old man as a sub, he was like “do u want me to help u?” And than I said “hell no” because he was a god damn old man asking to see my FACKING vag

  • In that situation my response would have been “Yes, I’d heard you were confused about the project.” My go to, and ruder, comeback is. “Well, your mother told me you’d say that. At least I think that’s what she said, she had something in her mouth.” Y’see, arguably too rude for these comments

  • i had an english teacher that picked on me all the time, she looked round the class and nearly always picked on me to read out some poem i was meant to write, in the end id had enough and sat there without doing anything. At the end of the half hour, she said i want you to read out your poem and guess what her gaze fell on me. i said guess what i couldnt

  • Or you can confront the person about their behavior, like an adult. Who tf has time to prepare snarky comebacks at the office? Besides, you are just turning into them. Using snarky lines and sarcasm is being passive agressive.

    Stand your ground, keep your cool and simply tell them that they should take their snarky behavior someplace that tolerates snarky behavior, not at the office.

  • Why are you even here?
    (amused smile) Wine, of course, and…the, uhm (look at the person up and down), pleasant company. Excuse me.

  • It’s never fun to tease people even if they are a different gender my friend Ethan teased me and called me. A girl which I hate….and he even said my drawings and ainmations are werid….

  • That sounds like a kindergarten would say but I would say if that person would ask me why I’m here I would say same reason you here and by the way go f×××× yourself