How to approach a young child Who Constantly Complains

 

How to deal with Chronic Complainers

Video taken from the channel: ManTalks


 

How To Deal With A Person Who Always Complains?

Video taken from the channel: Mahatria


 

People Who Constantly Complain Are Harmful To Your Health

Video taken from the channel: will be GooD


 

How Complaining Affects the Brain and General Health

Video taken from the channel: Psych2Go


 

Deal With People Who Always Complain

Video taken from the channel: How To DIY


 

What Can You Do If Your Child Is Always Negative And Complaining? (Raising Children #26)

Video taken from the channel: Elizabeth O’Shea


 

How to Deal with a Child Who Constantly Complains

Video taken from the channel: Gyan-The Treasure


Indeed, having to deal with a child whose main form of communication is crying and/or whining is a draining experience. If you’re reading this article, you can relate, and I can relate to you, mama. All you want is for her to ask for her cereal in a “regular” tone, and generally just say something that doesn’t sound like she’s suffering.

Educator and developmental psychologist Becky Bailey says that when whining does occur, parents should take a deep breath and remind themselves that the child is not trying to be irritating. The. No matter how vociferously they complain, continue to be calm and pleasant as you walk them to the door.

Just as you’re consistent with your students, you must be equally consistent with parents. You’re the teacher and the leader of the classroom, and that’s just the way it is. Start by asking yourself if your job is to make your child happy or to help him prepare to cope with life. If it’s the latter, then you can answer with, “I’m sorry.

Receiving complaints from parents can be stressful and make you lose confidence in yourself, especially if they’re leaked to other parents or fellow teachers. Worse yet is when a parent goes over your head and complains to your principal. The best way to handle parent complaints is to listen politely, and then take action. Fix. Hold people accountable for proposing and following through on actions to remedy the issues.

Establish that it is culturally inappropriate to complain behind the scenes. Engage and observe. Effective managers focus on both engaging with their team members and observing behaviors in a variety of settings. It’s also helpful to reiterate what the consequence will be for dishonesty. But focus on teaching responsibility and honesty, rather than on blaming or shaming your child.

Keeping your tone calm and compassionate also helps. If you are angry, yelling, or threatening, your child will feel less comfortable coming clean. Then consider some adjustments to his routines that may help curb whining and other negative behaviors. 2  Try spending some time with your child just hanging out and reading, riding bikes, or cooking together.

Call out the whining. Your child may not even realize that she is whining (this is especially true for younger children). At that point, it can take all of an adult child’s energy to keep such a death wish from wreaking havoc — making the child truly wish that a parent takes a turn for the worse and is closer to. Children do not need to cry, to be hurt, to be shamed, or to shout “uncle” in order to learn the lesson you are trying to impart.

The discipline (from the Latin root word which means learning or teaching) that is needed should be just that the lesson that teaches not to do that again.It is a lesson that cultivates self-discipline.

List of related literature:

• Do a nightly review of positive behaviors noted during the day that the parent wants to be repeated.

“Principles and Practice of Psychiatric Nursing E-Book” by Gail Wiscarz Stuart
from Principles and Practice of Psychiatric Nursing E-Book
by Gail Wiscarz Stuart
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2014

Give the child positive feedback for improvement.

“Current Management in Child Neurology” by Bernard L. Maria
from Current Management in Child Neurology
by Bernard L. Maria
BC Decker, 2009

If your child’s whining continues even after you’ve taught her how to express her wants nicely, let her know that she has the right to have feelings and frustrations that only whining can relieve.

“Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems” by Jerry Wyckoff, PhD, Barbara C. Unell
from Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems
by Jerry Wyckoff, PhD, Barbara C. Unell
Meadowbrook, 2010

Often, teachers request that play therapists address some aspect of this behavior, such as getting the child to pay more attention, sit still, stop disrupting class, or many other problems.

“Advanced Play Therapy: Essential Conditions, Knowledge, and Skills for Child Practice” by Dee Ray
from Advanced Play Therapy: Essential Conditions, Knowledge, and Skills for Child Practice
by Dee Ray
Taylor & Francis, 2011

Teach the parents to reinforce positive behavior with feedback and intermittent rewards.

“All-in-One Nursing Care Planning Resource E-Book: Medical-Surgical, Pediatric, Maternity, and Psychiatric-Mental Health” by Pamela L. Swearingen, Jacqueline Wright
from All-in-One Nursing Care Planning Resource E-Book: Medical-Surgical, Pediatric, Maternity, and Psychiatric-Mental Health
by Pamela L. Swearingen, Jacqueline Wright
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

For a younger child, try a “Whining Chair” (every time she whines, she sits in the chair—one minute for each year of her life) or send your child to the “Whining Room” where she can whine, complain, and vent aloud as much as she likes.

“The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries” by Michele Borba
from The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries
by Michele Borba
Wiley, 2009

If your child complains, usually just listen.

“The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships” by Michael P. Nichols
from The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships
by Michael P. Nichols
Guilford Publications, 2009

By not reinforcing the whining and crying, the parent begins to extinguish this annoying behavior.

“What is Psychology?” by Ellen E. Pastorino, Susann M Doyle-Portillo
from What is Psychology?
by Ellen E. Pastorino, Susann M Doyle-Portillo
Cengage Learning, 2011

• Teach positive self-talk to repeat to themselves (aloud softly or silently) when they feel frustrated or upset, such as “I can deal with this.”

“The ADHD Book of Lists: A Practical Guide for Helping Children and Teens with Attention Deficit Disorders” by Sandra F. Rief
from The ADHD Book of Lists: A Practical Guide for Helping Children and Teens with Attention Deficit Disorders
by Sandra F. Rief
Wiley, 2015

Behavior modification for the child and family counseling may also be helpful.

“Bratton's Family Medicine Board Review” by Robert L. Bratton
from Bratton’s Family Medicine Board Review
by Robert L. Bratton
Wolters Kluwer Health, 2012

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

View all posts

74 comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • There is a massive neurological impact that results from complaining. Its like an avalanche and has constant negative impacts for us, thanks for highlighting this!

  • Its sad but alot of times this ppl are,a waste of yime and energy my solution stay away my peace of mind and well being are more important to me sorry there misery is not my responsibility is theres end of story

  • I find that when something bad happens and I start complaining, it is more likely that I will not cope with it efficiently, however when I make happy thoughts and take deep breaths, the tension within me lowers and I generally do better.

  • Its funny how many people are making comments to just cut complainers out of your life because they’ve been dealing with a complainer for years now. So your not even following your own advice because you haven’t cut the complainer out of your own life after years. Ironic…
    Alot of other people are complaining about complainers. Also ironic…

  • I find people complaining about prices of tech saying that “I say yes but my wallet says no” when the prices aren’t even that bad. One of the most powerful gaming desktops on the market is the Alienware Aurora R11 Gaming Desktop and the starting price is $929.99. I’ve seen people complaining about its price. That’s a good price. Not overpriced

  • Ok so im a dialysis nurse. I spend 5hours in close proximity w each patient. Most patients are vulnerable and need/want validation. I neither agree nor disagree, yet, just reflect what i heard from their perspective…..Mr J: “This hospital food isnt fit for dogs!��”…. Me: “wouldnt feed it to your pup huh mr J”… mrJ “NO ��id rather go hungry”… me: “an empty stomach would be better than whats in the lunch tray, huh?…. MrJ… “ yes… �� its just, i get so mad i have to eat the same food every day��”….me: “i totally GET that mr J…. meal times can sure get frustrating when you see the same food items and flavor over and over”… mr J: “…… im sorry for yelling at you…… ��….. know the kitchen staff does the best they can”……..(i take quiet moment to hold hand before setting up my machine)…. mr J: “pam?…. i wish you could be my dislysis nurse every day��”

  • The election of Trump is the best thing that happened in this world since I was born. Only Satanists and socialists cry their ass off.

  • I really like your videos and they’re very helpful to me:) but the audio quality really could be improved.. I belive that then your videos would be even more addicting and interesting to the viewers than they already are ��

    PS: Sorry for my bad English I’m not native haha ^^’

  • I have 2 pain in the ass friends that every single phone call there is a complaint, and they never stop talking!! I found myself putting down the phone while doing something else and they don’t even realize that I am not listening anymore!! They tell me all their aches and pains, the therapy the doctor gave them the medication they are taking, the blood results if not theirs it’s about their husband or even their dogs!! I just let them talk while I do something else with the phone on my desk, I never say a word yet they don’t realize I am not even there!!

  • It’s ok to complain if you keep storing all those negative emotions and feeling I can get really worst it can also call depression trust me I’m a complainer it’s not good to stores your emotions in if you don’t like something say it and change it

  • Can someone show this to the systemic YouTuber that complains about almost everything ( youtube.com/pkrussl) I think he needs to watch this video and don’t subscribe to him because he complains about every single thing you get to mad I think he needs this help

  • I have been dealing with a complainer for years now and they love to complain nothings right Period RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN FROM THEM!!!! You can not save them do not engage repeat do not engage!

  • Mr: I hate people who complaining
    Others: why iam not rich, i dont like this food, my car suck, my gf cheating, iam fat,
    Me: just STFU already��������

  • I’m almost always positive and grateful for all I have…. and of course the “negative nancies” of the world are often really quick to point out that I have a good life and everything to be grateful for, but that wasn’t always the case! I live on a boat with my husband and we own our own business and make very good money, however, not even 3 years ago, we were both homeless and we actually met at a homeless shelter!!! In the past, I’ve been addicted to heroin, had my kid taken away from me, had my fiancé die (when our baby was only 8 months old too!), then my mother (whom I was very close to) passed away not a year later, I spent several years off and on being homeless and living out of cars, tents or homeless shelters…. BUT EVEN THEN AT MY LOWEST POINTS…. I was still grateful just to have a tent or a vehicle or ANY bed to sleep in!!! Mind you, I have spend many nights alone in the woods without any of these things so just to have a tent, a warm sleeping bag and some cans of food to cook over a fire we’re the absolute greatest comforts to me in those moments that I was TRULY GRATEFUL. And perhaps that’s just it… since I have lived thru such hardships and endure such immense heartaches in my life, that it allows me to fully appreciate all that I have now. So whenever I hear people complaining about things that I see as just plain ridiculous and insignificant, I just wish that they could have experienced just a fraction of all I have just to help them put it into perspective, ya know??? Like IT COULD CERTAINLY BE WORSE!!! Right??? AND despite everything I’ve been thru, rather than complaining about it, I am actually grateful for the hardships because I wouldn’t be who I am today without them and I also don’t believe I could be quite as grateful and genuinely HAPPY without experiencing all of it. Seriously. But I certainly just wanna scream, “OH MY GOD PEOPLE! FOR CHRISSAKES!!! SHUT THE F UP ALREADY! AND STOP YER DAMN BELLY-ACHING!!!!” ��

  • My boyfriend complains so much it’s very irritating and i try to talk to him about the problem all the time but then he brings it back up all the time and it’s just making me very depressed because i feel like I’m the problem and when we are done with the problem he complains about something else idk what to do anymore….

  • I preach to my mother to choose her battles, that she’d actually be a semi-happy person if she stopped bitching about every little thing. Then she complains about me complaining to her. She is a vicious cycle.

    Some people cannot be helped

  • Everybody complains about everything these days. Just look at the comment section on youtube. Under every single video there are hundreds of bitchy salty comments.

  • Every problem that happened there’s always worse, negative parents bring up negative children, so it’s up to us to change our mindset, if I can deal with it so can you and I’m a female.

  • How can student face current situations which is going on tell us about that??? plsss… That all institute are closed schools colleges…��������������������

  • The validation point is very key, I notice as soon as I say “your right, I don’t know how you deal with it” it shuts up the complainer.

  • I drive for a living. My job is to look for hazards and use techniques to reduce the risk of a collision. I talk about safe driving and use examples of poor judgement to explain what I see on the road. Many people have said I am complaining and negative all the time. I disagree. I think others don’t want to admit they’re actions are dangerous and just tell me to shut up, or simply being ignorant. It’s not me who is complaining; it’s the drivers I am using as examples. Sometimes I sound condescending, but again, my words are conveying and observation of facts.

    It’s cold.

    Stop complaining.

    I am not complaining; I am simply sharing how I feel.

    Then g inside of you are going to bitch about it.

    Geez, why is your problem?

    You! You are so negative! I am a positive person and you are killing the vibe. I am going to yoga practice.

    OK. Enjoy your yoga.

    Ugh. Shut up!

  • My friends and I have a discord chat and one of the channels is a vent channel, and typically we are good at keeping it controlled so that it doesn’t result in impulsive and prolonged complaining

  • How do you deal with someone that complains about the same thing everytime you visit? Or when you both agree with a solution and then they change there mind. Example: My Dad moved from California to Idaho. He says he hates ID complaining it’s too cold. Then he wants to move to Texas; oh it’s too hot. Then he changes his mind to live in Idaho. Then complains he should have stayed in Calif.. Then he tells ppl how happy he is living in ID..a big fat lie…drove me insane when he could never make up his mind. Never satisfied with what he has..this would be the same everytime I would visit so I set my boundaries and stopped going over!! Best decision ever!! I have my mind clear away from negativity!

  • Yeah no I give my 7 year old son things and give him what he wants but won’t throw the trash away when asked after he got multiple things and so on

  • I am so hateful of my life now. Lost desire to live. I have anhedonia and it is death. Hard not to complain. I feel stuck. Cannot even make phone calls or cook. Just buy food from drive thru because i hate dealing w people.

  • I have a friend who complains non stop all the time. It frustrates me so much that I find myself going home and complaining to my husband about my friend complaining! It’s true that negativity breeds more negativity. Best to avoid these people altogether.

  • Horrible advice my wife and I have been dealing with this for thirty years with a friend we have always bent over backwards for her and enough is enough. Just walk away from these types of people you are not responsible for someone else’s misery on a daily basis. At some point you have to think about yourself your life energy and vibe. Kick them to the curb!

  • One idea I’ve encountered and try to implement frequently (with varying levels of success): If I complain about something, I should come up with a solution to make it better. Remember that part about thoughts becoming ingrained patterns? If my primary reaction to a bad situation is to look for a way to make it better, I’m focusing on the good things AND (hopefully) making a difference to someone. Even if it’s just myself.
    Example: I’m trying out for a solo in choir. Let’s say I don’t get it. I can gripe about how “I lost”, or I can seek out the director, find out what I can do to improve, and have a better chance of nailing the solo next time.
    (Edit: I didn’t get the part. But I’m learning how to “push down” to hit the high notes better.)

    I’d love to hear replies about other Youtubers having done something along these lines. What have you complained about, but turned into an opportunity for improvement?

  • You can bring improvements to your life by being physically, mentally active & by steering
    clear of unhealthy foods, negative influences,energies & especially, toxic people.

  • No way, stay far away from these people! Once you give them any attention they will continue to use you for their complaining! I am currently going through this now. Complainers don’t care about getting better, they only care about finding people that they can latch on to. Complainers are energy vampires, no need to give them any attention at all or your mental health will suffer.

  • I used to be a very positive kid but now i’m always angry and resentful towards my family now. my only escape is when they are at work.

  • I personally feel that people that are constantly complaining are not good to be around. It feels like their ungrateful for everything and brings my mood down. I’m not saying complaining/venting isn’t a bad thing but do it constantly is tiresome.

  • this makes so much sense to me and i try to tell people that complain or get angry around me that you have to just let the little go and it seems like nobody really gets how getting angry and complaining can affect others and their own person health. it honestly is sad.

  • Your power is in your FEET. You can’t change anyone. Don’t try to “save” the whiny ass chronic complainer! Just go the other way when you see them! Once NOBODY wants to hang around them they MIGHT decide to stop whining about everything!

  • What if people are complaining 24/7 around me. How do i not complain about that. I cant knock them out lol that’s illegal, but how the hell do i just think positively when all i hear is wah wah wah wah in the background nonstop? Lmao

  • Hmm, then I probably shouldn’t be in highschool any longer. Literally EVERYONE whines about EVERYTHING, honestly it’s all depressive thoughts and they’re very contagious. Once someone starts complaining, the whole room starts complaining too.

  • The other day I found out I wasn’t able to get insurance, I started to complain and stopped myself told me everything happens for a reason and it just wasn’t meant to be yet. Besides I need to save the money so I can move.

  • i know that i really shouldn’t complain after watching this video, but for me is really hard because i’m constantly surrounded by this kind of people and like you said in the video, i get influenced by their behavior. despite this i’ll do my best to be grateful for now on, thanks for this beatiful video 😉

  • Me showing any form of gratitude won’t repair the 4-6 years of schooling I missed bewteen middle school to high school. Nor will it fix my parents or our current situation in both the physical and mental aspects. I am greatful for this explanation because along with the suffering I’ve been diagnosed with pof/POI so things have been crazy stressful with medications and all… My blood pressure and blood sugar levels being out of sync due to all this and avoidance of food had also started causing me to faint etc. I’m incapable of doing too many things and find that “venting” is my only way to communicate anything aside from the litle I know to any one. Especially since the stress is what prohibits me from correctly/successfully writing out my feelings, thoughts, or specific struggles under the skin. So is it possible that the venting itself is doing more good for me than bad??? I really want to know…

  • (This is not related to the video but I’m still curious)
    So, I have never had any violent tendencies/actions and I’m even against it, but I have had many violent “stories” (idk what to call them) with characters I made up. Does this mean anything? (If you all ready answered this please leave a link or something)

  • Psych2Go could you do a video about the signs of “Chronic fatigue syndrome” or something related to explaining what it is?
    One of my friends had recently thought that I may have this syndrome due to my consent low energy, but I can take in information by reading and your videos have helped me understand myself a little as I process information better a visuals.

  • With years of persistence practice, still it’s hard to control our own mind, then expecting others who lack any practice, is immature on our part. Intellect knows for sure not to react to such situations but ego( emotion) works faster than intellectual. Just like light travels faster than sound.It’s already sometime too late before we come back to our normal senses. The problem is not the other person, it is our own self, which guilty after all the knowing, video, nevertheless a meditation practices.Thank you ji, still not sure how matured reaction/ response, I m going to use next time.

  • Seriously, when you are surrounded by people who complain or reprimand or bully all the time, you tend to absorb their negativity and it only frustrates you and you too start complaining about so many things in your life, if you stay in that environment.
    It’s best not to allow people to steal your time, in general and not to allow people who constantly complain, in particular.
    This behavior is contagious.
    Very nicely made video.

  • My husband is obsessed with complaining about pain. Seems like every month there’s something different wrong with him and he will complain about it every week every day every hour on the hour. One month is his elbow another his knee then his finger, hand and so on. something’s always hurting him. He’s also obsessed with thinking that he may be getting Alzheimer’s. He’s fifty-five mind you. I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I’m a afraid to ask him how his day has been. Cuz it just opens up a whole can of worms for him to start complaining about something. Oh he Complains about his job a lot too, but does nothing about it to change that. HELP!!

  • been in trouble for almost 6 years, been through addiction, homelessness, hopelessness and even suicide…. im still here today, anyone who thinks they cant handle no more…take hold of the rope and have faith in the lord, you will come out on top and it will all make sense in the end. god bless

  • Holy shit, this was actually really good!
    One of my favorite pieces of advice was to AVOID giving the complainer adviceI’m guilty of this! I just want to solve their problems, so I offer advice without asking if they want it. I’ll ask now… less energy wasted for me.

  • Omg this is so true. I have a friend who is a constant complainer and I didn’t realize that I started becoming like him and complain even more than usual. Now I started distancing myself from him. However, with the fact with the existence of covid19 when I write this comment, even though I’m in quarantine and social distancing from my friend, he keeps texting me and complaining every single day anyway. I’m losing my patience so I ignore him and by slowly cutting off the friendship

  • Sir, at work if someone is dng wrong and it’s getting repeated, and if complain Abt the person until he is corrected… Then in this case is the person complaining has no maturity level and he or she is complaining?

  • This was actually really helpful. My sister will always complain to me and I always have to listen to her and sometimes after she just goes on and we argue, I’ll just cry bc she stresses me out. I can’t deal with it so this is just a really good guide because I would’ve gotten migraines if she complained any longer

  • Thanks for this video. I’m a chronic complainer and it’s becoming detrimental to my mental health. I’m on a war against complaint. Thank you!

  • Happy Saturday everyone! Can you guys support us by buying a moon from us to keep us producing more educational psychlogy content? https://www.introvertpalace.com/products/enchanting-moon-night-lamp You can buy one of these enchanting moon for yourself or a friend as a gift.

  • Real question, if I chronically complain about the same thing over and over. For example my gf cleaning up after herself, but SHE NEVER DOES, does that make me a chronic complainer or an I justified in wanting her input in the relationship too?? Oh by the way, she don’t work so she’s home all day and I walk into our house after my 9 hour shift to the house looking just like it did before I left. When I get home my philosophy is to do at least 1 productive thing before I sit and rest, like throw away trash or some laundry. All the while she’s on the couch eating and netflixing. Am I crazy to complain about this or is she just lazy and entitled and trying to manipulate me in thinking I’m just an asshole?

  • Bruh i sometimes ask questions about food. For example, what does this have in it? Or, When did you make this? And so my mom takes it as a complaint and starts raging:/ and that happens almost every day

  • Terrible advice, they are going to continue going to you and draining your energy. Your advice obviously comes from the humanitarian point of view, people who look for this kind of videos are trying to stop the complainer or get out of the situation politely

  • I am so tired of the one person in my extended family complaining. It has affected my partner’s health. It has spilled on to my immediate family. I am so done with this. It’s draining.

  • had a coworker in a previous position that complained constantly so negative it was ridiculous… miserable bat. So Glad I’m no longer there

  • Very interesting! I have to deal with so many negative people everyday, it’s very stressful sometime. I would like to say what you think but you can’t because they would not understand,m. I’ve always been an optimistic person and I’m scared that all this negativity might bring me down eventually one day.

  • This is so true. Me and my best friend were both going through a break up with our bfs at relatively the same time and we both started complaining to each other ALL THE TIME. Then after a few months I felt the both of us getting SICK of each other and never wanting to hang out anymore. Now that I’ve moved on but she’s still stuck on her ex I’m going to do my best to put nothing but positive energy out there. Hopefully she can mirror the same feelings and slowly get over him:)

  • I stay away from this type of ppl if i can dont need negativity in my life its a waste of time but if its someone i care about ill lisen and then stay away

  • My boyfriend’s mom literally does not stop complaining once she comes home from work. All of the words that come out is complain after complain. Like i understand she may be stressed out about work but she doesn’t even mention anything about work. She just says things I could do better, she only sleeps 6-5 hours daily (which is normal for an adult?). And then she never understands why she is stressed out. She never takes the time to just relax.. Even if the house is clean she finds SOMETHING that is not clean for example the bathroom and cleans it (even though she just cleaned it yesterday) while complaining that we have to do this and that. It’s stressful. She really just will find anything at all to complain about.

  • I´m grateful for lilyloo. Her voice has a painkiller effect, that goes along perfect with the content of each vid.
    Her channel is also sweet: I love her Piano covers.
    To all Psych2Go team, thank you so much.

    ¿Would you consider doing a vid of how music, affects the mental health? ¿For good or worst:)?
    I use it to fight back depression.

  • A lady friend of mine cannot carry out a conversation without it being a complaint into all the things wrong in her life. It is exhausting. Toxic. I’ve affirmed, placated, and even begged her to stop the “Woe is me” attitude. I’ve exhausted my tact and it’s become too tiresome to continue.
    I’ve recently started to distance myself from her and every few days she will call me and start to complain. I have hung up several times telling her “I’m not going to listen to you complain”.
    At this point I send her to voicemail and delete the voicemail without listening to it. I won’t sit and be a drain for her to pour her toxicity into. Because that’s exactly what she is using me for.

  • Complaining is important to combat complacency. I only care about things that matter, as in things that can be changed, not things outside of people’s control like weather.

  • Or maybe the researchers confused correlation with causality yet again? I feel grateful that I can complain a lot and people tolerate it.

  • Thank you so much, please, allow me to ask you one question: I have a guy and he always make quarrels with our neighbour ‘ boys. How can we find or tackle him to calm down? His old is 12 years. once again thank you indeed for your instructions.

  • In my experience, if you feed a vampire, they will keep coming back for more blood until you’ve none left to suck. Then they’ll leave you for dead and seek out the next victim.

  • This method doesn’t work if someone is a chronic complainer: validating them will just add fuel to the fire, they will keep on draining you forever and use you as a trash can for their verbal vomit. A chronic complainer is not interested in moving through their pain, they only want to use you as an excuse to stay in it. This method only works with people who need to vent occasionally and are interested in feeling better.

  • It is extremely difficult to change a person. It took me 4+ years of paying attention to rid myself of my temper. Some high conflict individuals (perhaps described as emotionally blind in this vid) spend stunning amt of time and energy into blaming everyone else and everything. The people that I dealt with in the past had conflict with just about everybody in their lives: coworkers, bosses, neighbors, the mailman, friends, best friends, significant other, relatives, parents, siblings, little kids, etc. The conclusion I made is that whatever I say to them is eventually used as ammo to try to hurt me. Usually, they twist facts to fit their narrative too. It seems foolish to hand out more ammo to people who are not in charge of their thoughts and emotions.

  • So kids! If you find out that something is making you feel bad, do not complain! Just sit on that thought and try to think of how people have been gracious to you okay?

  • If complaining is bad for your brain and health, then it’s sure that mankind will be brainless and in very bad health condition for the next 1 000 000 000 years. Just look at the cardiovascular disease charts. Where did the decades go?

  • Stop validating someone that doesn’t have the mindset to change whatever it is they are complaining about. It’s pointless and exhausting…

  • My mom is OCPD and a chronic complainer. It’s so challenging spending any time with her. I just focus on my own life and let her work out her own issues.

  • I am nearly always happy and never complain about problems if I can’t change them (if I can I will). So basically I am living healthier with this attitude? (also if I complain about something for a longer time I get headache)

  • What do you do when you validate their experience but they just keep on doing the same things over and over that is causing them to complain? How can you show empathy towards someone when you can tell it’s their fault and they are bringing it on themselves? I feel like my patience is wearing thin.