Discipline Your Son Or Daughter’s Behavior, And not the Feelings

Discipline your child for inappropriate behavior. If your child breaks her brother’s toy when she’s angry, give her a consequence. Make it clear that she won’t be punished for her feelings, but she will be given consequences for breaking the rules. Don’t allow your child to use emotions as an excuse.

If your child says she can’t do her homework because she’s sad, don’t. Discipline your child for inappropriate behavior. If your child breaks her brother’s toy when she’s angry, give her a consequence. Make it clear that she won’t be punished for her feelings, but she will be given consequences for breaking the rules. Don’t allow your child to use emotions as an excuse.

If your child says she can’t do her homework because she’s sad, don’t. Instead of trying to disciplining your children’s emotions, you should discipline your child’s behavior that would help them in becoming a responsible adult of the future: Separate Emotions from Behavior; The first thing to do is differentiate between how your child feels and what he does. Anger is a feeling, but hitting is a behavior. What Is Discipline?

Discipline is the process of teaching your child what type of behavior is acceptable and what type is not acceptable. In other words, discipline teaches a child to follow rules. Discipline her behavior but not her emotions. Say, “You are going to time-out because you hit your brother,” or “You are losing this toy for the rest of the day because you are screaming and it hurts my ears.” Validate Your Child’s Feelings Sometimes parents inadvertently minimize a child.

It’s normal for kids to repeat their mistakes from time to time to see if a parent will follow through with discipline. But, it’s not normal for a child to exhibit the same behavior repeatedly if you’re applying consistent discipline. If your child continues to exhibit the same misbehavior regardless of the consequences, it could be a problem.

For most parents, behavioural problems in their 5-year-old child can easily get on their nerves. Being angry and hitting your child is never the right way to discipline him. No child acts out of malice.

Try and figure out the reason for his behaviour and you would have solved half the problem then and there. Discipline Your Child’s Behavior, Not the Emotions. By Amy Morin, LCSW 5 Ways Your Anxiety May Affect Your Parenting.

Medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD How to Use Emotion Coaching With Your Kids. By Amy Morin, LCSW The Difference Between Punishment and Discipline. By Amy Morin, LCSW. When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn’t stop. Remain calm and don’t look angry.

If your child goes on misbehaving, calmly take. the next time your child has a meltdown. Discipline techniques that involve a physical or even emotional disconnection can actually cause major problems in the long run, says Vanessa Lapointe, Ph.

List of related literature:

Acknowledging feelings and validating them makes the toddler more emotionally healthy and will lesson and help him resolve those feelings.

“Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery” by Judy L Arnall
from Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery
by Judy L Arnall
Professional Parenting Canada, 2012

Acknowledging the feelings also helps the child learn tension regulation: After you validate your child’s feelings, it is much easier for him to move past his distress and regain composure.

“What Babies Say Before They Can Talk: The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings” by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner
from What Babies Say Before They Can Talk: The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings
by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner
Touchstone, 2009

• Help children learn how to manage their emotions by remaining emotionally neutral in the face of negative behaviors and expressing positive emotions to positive behavior; teach\ children how to identify and express their emotions in a safe context.

“Social Work Practice with Families: A Resiliency-Based Approach” by Mary Patricia Van Hook
from Social Work Practice with Families: A Resiliency-Based Approach
by Mary Patricia Van Hook
Oxford University Press, 2019

Ultimately, children will learn how to self-regulate, to identify a feeling and manage the actions appropriate to that feeling, and will thus “outgrow” the temper tantrums of toddlers.

“Pediatric Primary Care E-Book” by Catherine E. Burns, Ardys M. Dunn, Margaret A. Brady, Nancy Barber Starr, Catherine G. Blosser, Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks
from Pediatric Primary Care E-Book
by Catherine E. Burns, Ardys M. Dunn, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2012

Parents holding this philosophy actively teach children about the causes, features, and consequences of emotions, and help them to regulate and deal constructively with difficult emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness.

“The Routledge Handbook of Family Communication” by Anita L. Vangelisti
from The Routledge Handbook of Family Communication
by Anita L. Vangelisti
Taylor & Francis, 2012

Second, parenting practices directly related to the socialization of emotion also influence the development of emotionally dysregulated behavior.

“The Oxford Handbook of Emotion Dysregulation” by Theodore P. Beauchaine, Sheila E. Crowell, Sheila Elizabeth Crowell
from The Oxford Handbook of Emotion Dysregulation
by Theodore P. Beauchaine, Sheila E. Crowell, Sheila Elizabeth Crowell
Oxford University Press, 2020

Gradually, the child internalizes these divisions between feeling and acting:The child begins to learn that emotions can be separated from behavior.”

“Emotional Intelligence: Key Readings on the Mayer and Salovey Model” by Peter Salovey, Marc A. Brackett, John D. Mayer
from Emotional Intelligence: Key Readings on the Mayer and Salovey Model
by Peter Salovey, Marc A. Brackett, John D. Mayer
Dude Pub., 2004

Training will help the child practice selftalk and behavior change, without focusing to a great extent on emotion.

“Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Clinical Social Work Practice” by Arthur Freeman, EdD, ABPP, Tammie Ronen, PhD
from Cognitive Behavior Therapy in Clinical Social Work Practice
by Arthur Freeman, EdD, ABPP, Tammie Ronen, PhD
Springer Publishing Company, 2006

Another task for parents of toddlers is to help them learn to regulate their emotions.

“Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective” by George W. Holden
from Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective
by George W. Holden
SAGE Publications, 2014

Parents who coach their children’s emotion help them express it appropriately, regulate them, and reduce their need to act aggressively (Jones et al. 2002).

“Practitioner's Guide to Emotion Regulation in School-Aged Children” by Gayle L. Macklem
from Practitioner’s Guide to Emotion Regulation in School-Aged Children
by Gayle L. Macklem
Springer US, 2007

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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