Coping With Kids Who Won’t Attend School


The Parents Refusing To Send Their Children Back To School | This Morning

Video taken from the channel: This Morning


Child refusing to go to school: Why & Tips to manage it Ms. Hema Sampath

Video taken from the channel: Doctors’ Circle World’s Largest Health Platform


Help! My kid doesn’t want to go to school

Video taken from the channel: Maggie Dent


Is Your Child/Teen Refusing to Attend School!

Video taken from the channel: John Solano


Fines for parents who refuse to send children to school being considered BBC News

Video taken from the channel: BBC News


Parenting Tips | School Refusal Here’s What You Can do if your Kid Refuses to Go to School

Video taken from the channel: The Parenting Plan


My Child Doesn’t Want To Go To School

Video taken from the channel: Live On Purpose TV

1. Assess: The first step is a comprehensive medical and psychological evaluation. Given that school refusal is 2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: This highly structured form of therapy helps children identify their maladaptive 3. Systemic desensitization: Some children struggling with school. After a diagnosis of school refusal is made, it can help to: Make sure that your child goes to school each day, since the more she stays home, the harder it will be to get her to go Understand that even though your child likely doesn’t have a physical problem causing his symptoms, that doesn’t.

These issues can be addressed only if they are known. On the other hand, making too big a deal of school refusal may promote the child’s behavior to continue. Firmly getting the child to school regularly and on time will help.

Not prolonging the goodbyes can help as well. Many parents respond to their child’s refusal to attend school by yelling, screaming, and taking everything away. Other parents get worn down by their child and simply give up. Many parents of teens will just let their child become truant.

They’ve reached their wit’s end. Children and young people who can’t attend mainstream school are entitled to alternative provision of education in a different setting. This could be a separate unit within or outside the school, an independent provider, home tuition or online tuition.

Every local authority website should set out its Alternative Provision options. Reminding your child of positive memories from school or someone at school that made them feel safe is a great way to encourage them to try school again. Let’s make a plan together.

Refusing to go to school is often an outward behavior related to the flight or fight response system in our brains. Talk to your child’s teacher or the school principal for ideas and advice. Teachers have lots of experience with children who refuse to attend.

Ask the teacher or principal to refer you and your child to other support staff, like the student welfare coordinator, school psychologist or counsellor. They have no cognitive horsepower to deal with it. So they quit. The biggest difference being, you cannot legally quit school. You are required to obtain education up to a certain age, or parents can be fined and go to jail.

Save. For some families, they. One of the most important steps in dealing with school refusal is to understand why your child is having difficulty getting to school in the first place.

School refusal is often a manifestation of an illness like depression or anxiety, but it can also be the result of bullying or issues with friends or family members. Children with school refusal may complain of physical symptoms shortly before it is time to leave for school or repeatedly ask to visit the school nurse. If the child is allowed to stay home, the symptoms quickly disappear, only to reappear the next morning.


List of related literature:

What I had never dealt with before was that many of the children at this school didn’t want to be there at all, and rather than constantly exclude them, the challenge was to try to engage them and inject some enthusiasm into them for education.

“Straight Outta Crawley: Memoirs of a Distinctly Average Human Being” by Romesh Ranganathan
from Straight Outta Crawley: Memoirs of a Distinctly Average Human Being
by Romesh Ranganathan
Transworld, 2018

If the parents aren’t available during the school day, setting up a conference at an alternative time or location would work better.

“Relationship, Responsibility, and Regulation: Trauma-Invested Practices for Fostering Resilient Learners” by Kristin Van Marter Souers, Pete Hall
from Relationship, Responsibility, and Regulation: Trauma-Invested Practices for Fostering Resilient Learners
by Kristin Van Marter Souers, Pete Hall
ASCD, 2018

The only options these parents have are to either file a lawsuit, which is a very time consuming process, or continue to have a discussion with the school administrator, which invariably will end in the same decision.

“Pre-Service and In-Service Teacher Education: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications” by Management Association, Information Resources
from Pre-Service and In-Service Teacher Education: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications
by Management Association, Information Resources
IGI Global, 2018

Allow the parent some time to explain how they feel; avoid the temptation to immediately butt in and defend the school.

“Classroom Behaviour: A Practical Guide to Effective Teaching, Behaviour Management and Colleague Support” by Bill Rogers
from Classroom Behaviour: A Practical Guide to Effective Teaching, Behaviour Management and Colleague Support
by Bill Rogers
SAGE Publications, 2015

The first step in the treatment of a child refusing to go to school is to get him or her back into the classroom and, once that is accomplished, identify reasons why the child is avoiding school.

“Bratton's Family Medicine Board Review” by Robert L. Bratton
from Bratton’s Family Medicine Board Review
by Robert L. Bratton
Wolters Kluwer Health, 2012

Provide them with opportunities that work for them and will result in their feeling more connected to the school—and allow their child to see them participating as well!

“What Really Works With Exceptional Learners” by Wendy W. Murawski, Kathy Lynn Scott
from What Really Works With Exceptional Learners
by Wendy W. Murawski, Kathy Lynn Scott
SAGE Publications, 2017

If the difficulty continues, I tell the child they will not be invited back to class, and I will discuss this with the parent.

“Storytime Yoga: Teaching Yoga to Children Through Story” by Sydney Solis, Michele Trapani
from Storytime Yoga: Teaching Yoga to Children Through Story
by Sydney Solis, Michele Trapani
Mythic Yoga Studio, 2006

Let them know the school’s approach to conflict resolution and try to reach an agreement.

“What If All the Kids are White?: Anti-bias Multicultural Education with Young Children and Families” by Louise Derman-Sparks, Patricia G. Ramsey, Julie Olsen Edwards
from What If All the Kids are White?: Anti-bias Multicultural Education with Young Children and Families
by Louise Derman-Sparks, Patricia G. Ramsey, Julie Olsen Edwards
Teachers College Press, 2006

If a new child started school or somebody came back from holidays or from being off sick, I would attack them physically.

“The SAGE Handbook of Autism and Education” by Rita Jordan, Jacqueline M. Roberts, Kara Hume
from The SAGE Handbook of Autism and Education
by Rita Jordan, Jacqueline M. Roberts, Kara Hume
SAGE Publications, 2019

Set up a private conference with the school, day care, or playgroup so that the adult in charge is aware of the behavior and you all agree on the consequence (such as a brief time-out or going home).

“The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries” by Michele Borba
from The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries
by Michele Borba
Wiley, 2009

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

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  • This cannot be real. So your telling me the government is making families, even parents who are severly struggling money wise, pay money regularly because they want to make sure their kids dont DIE! The uk is literally f’d up. Im one of them families who cant pay for these fines. How will we cope?

  • Are they psychotic? Rumours now of a serious second wave during the winter time and rightly parents are hesitant and now talks of fines..beyond stupid

  • iam having persure of going to school and i never go to my exam pls help me what should i do how i stop this i want to go school pls.I will always find exuase that i am sick so that i can skip school help me pls you are my only hope please

  • So IF their kids should become subject to the virus…IF…what actions can the parents take??

    Boy this is real nonsense yes! These politicians dunce fuh so!


  • Grandson(11) isn’t very sociable, rather play with games. Today he begged to stay home so he would not have to go to band practice. I believe its fear of having to play infront of others. His mother is rather passive and has allowed him to stay home in the past.

  • Diagnosis before treatment is crucial. Listen to your child! I have 2 children with learning disabilities and ADD, and so when I started to listen to them, and we got appropriate help, school became much more doable. They weren’t just being lazy, there was a real problem.

  • Say a child does not die for argument sake…but they can carry the virus to someone who can. MPs must 1st gather in the house of commons like they did during MP expenses and once they can gather like that…uk is safe to send kids to school

  • My son just started headstart yesterday. He has never attended daycare or even been to a babysitter outside of our home. He is refusing to sit down during story time, follow directions or pick up his toys. He does all of these things at home. He smacked his teacher in the face yesterday when she insisted he stop playing and go sit down. I’m sure she was trying to force him. Today his teacher called jome saying he was refusing to keep his mask on and would have to put it back on his own face because they couldn’t do it for him because of germs. Its difficult for him to put it on his own face. He isn’t this misbehaved at home and I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t have behavioral issues normally and is being disruptive in class. I don’t know what to do! When I mention he is just 3 years old the teacher rebuttals with the statement that all the other kids are listening. The class has 3, 4 and some 5 year olds. My thoughts are that he has to stay and learn to behave and listen to the teacher and his new environment. I can keep him home for another year but I really feel that he can benefit greatly from being in school. Your advice would be greatly appreciated!

  • Thank you for your videos! I have been binge watching for 2 days. I have passed on your YouTube channel to my sister. I wish I had found you years ago. My twins are 18 and will be off to college, soon. I am taking lots of notes from your channel and I am using your ideas to help guide me parent our kids. You have been VERY HELPFUL! There is hope! �� A lot of what you are talking about is working!

  • Idiots!! This bloody government… it would help parents more if this bloody government had more idea regarding this ‘so called virus’
    For a start the TRUTH would be a good thing.
    Set of liars!!!

  • Yet Leicester have closed schools again because of the risk to children….. Are we really going to send them back if there is a rise in cases in 2 weeks? Are they just going to end up doing a U-turn on schools opening if cases start rising? But they’re still looking to fine us…

  • I don’t think they should be going back to school it is fair too soon and there is no sinence tific advice to tell us that it is safe

  • When it was my first day of school, my mother carried me all the way to school and I wanted her to stay with me in my first school, but she instead left and then I cried for her but the evil devil �� teachers locked the door so I cried as I wanted my mother with me. That was the worst school day of my life. Imagine if you were like 3 or 4 years old and you happened to be through this too.

  • Totally unacceptable! There are families with immunocompromised family members that would make it too dangerous for a child to go back to school where “germs” are way too easily spread, no matter how careful people are! My advice to concerned parents; prepare to homeschool your children if you’re too concerned to send your children back to school.

  • I’m in 12th grade and I still hate to go to school. Every thing is perfect but still I hate to go to school. And if there is a teacher who always tease u for not going to school it becomes more harder to go to school after 1 days absent. And if ur partner refuse to sit with u because I don’t like to go to school it makes me outcast! But still have to go to school because if there is not 75% attendence then a student is not allowed to sit in the exam. Full of rules and regulations and I’m trap in this all. Even though my parents understands everything but still due to all this rules we have to keep our mouth shut. If we tell our problem to people then they will only advice us to get me out of the school and read in private institute but that’s not worthy as school. After all this next day in the morning with a big unhappy smile I have to go to school! If I’m absent for some reason and though I have application but still I get panic attacks to go to that place. I hate to go to school everyday! ��

  • This was so helpful!!
    Thank you!!
    My daughter is afraid of being yelled at by her teacher.
    I know they are human,
    But yelling is so Unprofessional to say the least.

  • Been through all that medication was the answer which made it worse. No help for these kids. I feel home school should always be an option:(

  • Stop sending kids to school period. It’s just indoctrination, they are being taught to hate you and become marxist revolutionaries. Better off without it all.

  • F… YOU to your Bullshite FINE!!! Government wants to wake up?? My kids will be home schooled if that how it is!!! All coz you want money coming in… How about our future generations health and safety?? I know what I will be doing ������

  • Frighten people silly with the idea there’s a killer virus on the rampage and then expect people to return to school just because they say so? The fact is they should never have taken the children out of school in the first place, the risk to them was virtually zero, However the virus is not the concern now is it, it’s the stupid social distancing, children are being cajoled into behaving contrary to their nature which is to love and embrace on another. Making them think they cant get near or touch others, continual hand washing (OCD) all will impact on their mental health, badly.

  • So everything will be back to normal in September then? No chance of catching covid19? Does Mr Johnson and his cronies know something we don’t?

  • Iv Got Severe Anxiety, Paranoia, And Depression.
    I Keep Refusing To Go To School Because I’m Also Getting Bullied
    I Wish To Be Homeschooled But My Parents refuse
    Even though I hve suicidal though and have self harmed how selfless can u be

  • Symfau I don’t give a f*** about this sh****!!! I mom not going back oh it’s not even safe at all oh sh* hell no why the he** you’re sending that’s not fair and I don’t care if I get fined either because I don’t wanna go in a mother freaking pandemic so shut your as* up. It’s so dangerous there are freaking kids dying!!!!!! Die you government fine the government #dontreopen

  • No one can reassure. In this pandemic. No one! Parents need to realise that kids need education. We cannot simply keep them locked in forever. Its madness!

  • 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    Stop voting the tories in.

  • My Little daughter, Joy, is 5 y and started KG Summer school. It is good for her as it prepares her for the actual school.
    Every morning she cries and says ” I hate the school, I don’t want to go” although we have a discussion every night before bed time to encourage her and enthusiast her. She had the same problem last year as she used to go to Pre-school, until i had a meeting with her teacher and I requested to have a chart for her to encourage her. I had a chart for her at home as well and i used to give her stickers and stars when ever she behave. I’ll follow your advise and see how it will work.
    I’m open for any add’l suggestion.Thank you soooo much for videos! they have AWESOME ADVISE! ��

  • Until the trace of the virus is non existent, it is still not safe for children to even return to school and risk infection from anywhere. They may as well restart the whole year.

  • Parents, take courage even if it takes time for your kiddo to open up. My 15yo son is just now able to verbalize to me the deep reasons behind a school problem that started 6 months ago. We found some temporary workable solutions together but I’m confident this summer we will be able to more accurately address the root causes. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

  • I literally have asthma and my dad is within the age group of men who could catch it. Are you seriously going to force people like me to stay in school where kids won’t even listen to the rules and social distances properly.

    If you know what it’s like in hallways and dinner lines then you know where tf I’m coming from.

  • My little guy (4) has selective mutism, so he is very very shy and getting him to school has never been easy, but manageable. He has had a fear of fire alarms since he could Express himself. Around 2!! We don’t know why, nothing has ever happened, but he is. Just a few months ago we started making progress with him…
    Well yesterday at school the fire alarm went off. Not a test. There was a small fire in the gym. So NOW, he is TERRIFIED. It was a GIGANTIC set back and I don’t know what to do to help him work through this.

  • Genuinely disgusting have they seen how disgusting schools are id like to go back to school but I feel if the parents are anxious about how safe it is don’t fine them

  • Hi Dr, thanks for your information, I have that isue with my ASD child, every day he said I am not feeling well, I don’t want to go to school, I have been trying and doing the best I can’t but always the same, do you have any other strategies? Thanks you.

  • This has always been the law get them back to school good riddance it’s compulsory parents should be find if they don’t heed that warning I had to go to school ��������

  • Symptoms in children may not be severe, but there are some children who lose their lives because of this. Further, children incubate and spread diseases, this is not new information it’s a well known fact.

    If I were to put my child at risk of harms be it physical, mental, psychological or emotional social services would be involved and I’d be put on a section 47 (child at risk of immediate harms) or a section 17 (child in need); yet the government are now saying if we don’t send out children into a potentially dangerous environment we will be fined. It’s utterly ludicrous and I can tell you one thing, if it isn’t safe and there is no proper plan and communication with the public before schools open, explaining measures they’ve taken to ensure student and staff safety then by all means fine me. I will ask that it be reviewed under the same legal lens as Cummings’ round trip with Covid during measures he helped impose, and the law which allowed him to drive on a public road, unsure if he could see, putting unwitting citizens at risk of harm and his wife and child!

    I’m done playing games with this Government. I’m sick to death of the lies, the deceit, the bluff and blunder and NO STRATEGY to speak of. So fine me. Because if these plans are not announced and tabled for proper scrutiny, and deaths remain above 1000 a week; you can lock me up but I can guarantee my children will not be attending a school where there is risk of contracting and/or infecting teachers and staff and other children with this virus!

  • Bro parents are doing it to protect their children, wtf is wrong with you guys
    There’s still time for them to attend school
    Health first before school!

  • Are people aware that you can take your child out of school at any point and teach your own child at home. I did it for 7 years. Please know your rights.

  • Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

  • My daughter is 4 and this is her first week of school, at the 4th day she started to say that she doesn’t want to go to school because missed her mom, even she won’t eat her lunch. She begged her mother to keep eye on her when she in school, she wants to do everything with her mother. Does anybody have any suggestions? Thank you!

  • Any way to get money, there’s a bloody pandemic, and they previously said that they wouldn’t issue fines…. Hypocritical government, any way to get money

  • I won’t be threatened with fines, I’ am shielding with heart failure the school will not accept my children back as it’s within legislatures of risk. I will make the decision if it’s safe in September. Bullying won’t wash with us, people are already under tremendous stress with everything as it is,

  • It’s so strange how so many comments are so worried looool I suppose all of those comments are people who
    Clearly believed all the original lies of the plandemic and fear mongering clearly worked with them!! Mental slavery at its finest!!

  • I will refuse to go back while it’s still spreading if a lot of us refuse to go back till its safe they can’t do anything to us if we do that

  • yes you must allow us to experiment on our subjects, so our lives can and will be better. rolls my eyes. screw everything up from the get go resulting in thousands of cases, illnesses and deaths. now do as we say, again

  • I’m teenager and I love to do all my creative stuff in home. Shcool will take my time on things that makes me happy. I’m introvert I hate group works, I know how much bullies can hurt you, I now will go for the second time in the 8 class, because of the deppresion and suicidal thought. If Kids and teenagers will be more kind and open to others, problem I have will not exist. I’m scared of shcool, I’m scared that all will happen again.
    My parents yell at me when I say that I don’t want to go to shcool, but they don’t know why I don’t want to be in shcool. Parents want you to have good career and job, and family, but not all kids are the same. Some are introvert, some are shy, some can’t defend themselves and some highly sensitive peoples. And all this is in me what makes me different, I think different and because of that others bully me. But at least I’m proud of myself and I’m more stronger, I survived suicidal thought and I help others to go foward and get through deppresion.

  • fine parent for the safety of their children, and If my kid gets infected, whom I should fine? Are we in authoritarian system control by the Roman regime? Lots of Country like the US have what call home education.

  • Your always so encouraging to us parents �� thanks sooo much.

    There is so much good that comes from your encouragement of “calm voice, calm face, calm body”

    I so love the analogy of the hard / easy concept that you describe in this video too. It’s so worth doing hard things now to have an easy life later.

    I’m wanting to teach as many positive habits as I can to my children ����

    Thank you Dr Paul for being such a kind person with your tone of voice and how you put things ������

  • One way to make the, whole uk kick off. Threaten every parent that’s trying to protect their family. Please uk, lets take the power away from these pricks in parliament

  • I suggest the 99% start threatening the 1% and give them a little run for their money….just saying. And ive been home schooling my kids for 18 years….ive put them in schools taken them travelling ran away with a circus built our own off grid farm in the wild hills far away. We all get what we settle for. All the blessed ❤

  • It’s obvious parents are going to be a bit affraid to send their kids back to school….and parents who choose not too..should not be fined”

  • How does this fit with BLM’s, who state they are against the nuclear family? Why should people without kids pay tax for single parent families as a fashion? Defund the cultural Marxist multicultural state.

  • I don’t like to school because my math teacher treats us like slaves and when I tell my parents they call but the school doesn’t believe them she is like a bad in front of kids and good in front of parents

  • My four year old says to me every morning, “school is boring” and I have to argue with her every morning! She only goes for three hours, but tries everything in her power to not go!

  • A child not wanting to go to school is a warning sign for parents to know more about the reasons, because sometimes there is bullying going on, or other uncomfortable situation for the child. So many parents take the “I don’t want to go to school “ statement as an authority challenge. We need to refocus and think about the child’s needs and not some much what their behaviors make us feel