Are You and your spouse Prepared to Have Another Baby

 

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If you’re considering another baby, it’s time to sit down and have a good, long discussion with your partner. If your first child is old enough, don’t. “If you’re ready to be a parent, it should be an ongoing conversation with your partner, but not one you’re broaching every minute of every day,” he said. “It’s fine to check in with each other about both the desire for children and timing, though.”.

The decision to grow your family is no small thing. The addition of another baby brings big changes—for you and your partner, but also for your older child. So how can you tell if you’re really ready? Here’s how other moms knew.

With a second pregnancy, you have a task that you didn’t have the first time around: preparing your older child. Says Leeson, “I like the analogy of a husband coming home and saying to his wife, ‘It’s been so great being married to you that I decided to get another wife. Assuming that you know your partner wants to become a parent, but you fear he may not be ready, you need to explore what might be holding him back. If you’re planning to be at home with the baby or to take an extended maternity leave, he may be feeling pressured to earn enough to support the family. Babycenter has some research on the best time to have another baby.

In terms of the family relationship: when your first is under 1 year old or over 4 years old. what is your family ready for. Are you thinking about having another baby, but just not sure? Or does your partner want one, but you’re conflicted?

Published October 1, 2018 · Updated October 1, 2018. Waiting two years before having another baby is the general consensus among most parents. For one, your body is ready, it’s had enough time to bounce back from the previous pregnancy. Waiting at least 18 months reduces the risk of complications, such as premature birth or low birthweight.

Your gut instinct will tell you a lot about your readiness for another baby. If you take the time to weigh these factors, you should have a pretty good idea about whether or not you’re ready for another baby. Are You Ready for Another Baby?

Debating whether you’re ready to face sleepless nights, smelling like spit-up and the endless sea of diapers again? Find out if you’re on your way to another pregnancy or if you’ve got some waiting time.

List of related literature:

I feel ready to have a child and I keep trying but I do not get pregnant.

“SADC Gender Protocol 2019 Barometer” by Morna, Colleen Lowe, Rama, Kubi
from SADC Gender Protocol 2019 Barometer
by Morna, Colleen Lowe, Rama, Kubi
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I worry about whether we should have another child, whether I’m too old, whether it will be too difficult, whether our family is complete or not.

“A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life” by Bethenny Frankel, Eve Adamson
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Right now, it’s not the right time, and my husband is totally understanding, although he wants kids a bit sooner.”

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Since beginning dialysis, we have thought about having another child, but we are not ready yet.

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My husband and I had just figured out our groove with family and business when I realized something big—I really wanted to have another baby.

“How to Live a Good Life: Soulful Stories, Surprising Science, and Practical Wisdom” by Jonathan Fields
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Hay House, 2016

I wanted very much to have another baby, but I was really worried it would lead to the same problems.

“The Passion Trap: How to Right an Unbalanced Relationship” by Dean C. Delis
from The Passion Trap: How to Right an Unbalanced Relationship
by Dean C. Delis
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I am young yet and I can wait for a while to have more children.

“Motherhood in Bondage” by Margaret Sanger, Margaret Marsh
from Motherhood in Bondage
by Margaret Sanger, Margaret Marsh
Ohio State University Press, 2000

Rose: Well, I have been thinking about this… things seem to be expressed in ‘do this or do that’ but I think when it is the right time for both of us, there is nothing to stop us trying for another baby.

“Communication Skills for Midwives: Challenges in Everyday Practice” by Carole England
from Communication Skills for Midwives: Challenges in Everyday Practice
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Then if we wait until the first kid is two years old before we try for another one, I’ll be trying to get pregnant at 38.

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by Jean M. Twenge
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We’re definitely planning to have another child, but we’re not sure how far apart to space them.’

“What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
from What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]
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Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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122 comments

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  • Thank you for sharing this! I’m stuck on if I want a second child or not but you gave me some good things to think about while I’m making my decision.

  • If someone is wondering why this video has so many thumbs DOWN… because it’s absolute negativity and toxicity. IF YOU ARE PREGNANT WITH YOUR 2ND CHILD please do yourself a favor and don’t watch it.

  • So how are people out here having 5 kids??? I actually grew up in a house with 10 kids, and my mom grew up in a house with over 25 kids. To me, having so many kids in the house growing up was not a big deal. Now, I have just one and I’m like….that’s enough ��

    I looked up “reason to have a 2nd kid” I’m halfway through the video and these are the exact reasons I haven’t been convinced to have another one.

  • Hi just a quick question we had a baby 5 weeks ago and won’t to wait at least six months before trying again if we both won’t a nother baby is it safe to try again this early had only vag births three twins 18 years ago single 15 years ago and the new one but we are in our late 30s.

  • My little sister was born 3 weeks after I turned 1, honestly before a certain age we wont remember ever being a lone child, i never felt like i came second or my sister came first in any way, i never experienced sibling rivalry or jealousy because we are so close.
    Now im expecting my second, im 20 weeks along and already have 9 month son, he is a joy, he has been sleeping whole nights 7-7 since he was 3 months old, no matter what i know that if this one is a bad sleeper my son will sleep and nights will be fully for the smaller sibling, and economy wise, in sweden healthcare is payed for with taxes so basically free healthcare.
    Point is, siblings are great, some parents struggle and some are lucky and have minimal struggles.
    Everyone is special in how the view things and anxiety is probably not what this video is supposed to make most of you feel XD

  • I watched this video in 2018 when my second was on the way now,
    I’m back to confirm that it’s soooo hard
    Three years and one year old living in an apartment ������ thousands miles away from my family.
    Husband in the office whole day long.

  • I love being mommy and playing mommy roll. The only thing I ask for is right after delivery allow me to rest for 1-2 days because delivery is exhausting lol. So daddy need to do daddy duties for the first 24-48 hours of baby life then I’ll be good. However, if that doesn’t happen then I might feel like “Man this is a lot of work!” Good luck to all the mommies out their!

  • I regret not spending a lot of time wirh my first born. I regret now that I worked so much. I felt like I didn’t take the moment, stop and enjoy every single moment. Now he’s 11 and I still have that guilt. It was like we rushed him with our work schedule. He had to understand time. Now over a decade later he will be a big brother. Only change is the doctor I worked for I no longer work for so I’m not swamped as before. So I will enjoy this moment.
    Thanks for your honesty ❤

  • My first baby is 7 years old. He was born and I never really struggled with my son. He never really had tantrums and always really listened to me. Not even while pregnant I had trouble, I didn’t suffer from morning sickness or stretch marks or any symptoms what so ever, I didn’t even feel my contractions! I am currently pregnant with my second baby, and I am terrified. Although it was planned I am still very terrified! I feel because my first born was so calm my second is going to drive me crazy! And I have zero patience for crazy. Also I am scared my first baby will feel put to the side and that he is not loved. I most definitely do not want the to happen!

    I know everything will be okay but I am ferried!!! Someone help!

  • Iam doing analysis lot… weather to have second baby or not… thought my husband is 100 percent sure with one kid.he is most lovable kid..he is afraid second one may be notorious

  • Also I thought because my son slept through the night at 5 weeks that my daughter was going to be a horrible sleeper lol. Nope she started sleeping through the night at a month old, my son only gets up at night to either go to the bathroom or fill up his water bottle.

  • Thanks for the video. I just had my 2nd a month ago and i needed this.�� i feel super guilty for getting mad at my toddler all the time but im working on it. Im overwhelmed sometimes but im working on it.

  • I started out 228, was 250 at the end of my pregnancy, then I got down to 220 [still at the same weight 2 years later]. I’m six feet tall and built like a tank, don’t judge. Now with a second baby, I’m terrified to gain a bunch…

  • Thank you for the honesty, I am preparing for my second baby and there’s so much i feel I’m not prepared for right now, I am trying to take it one step at a time but this video is really comforting and informative.

  • Your 2nd baby sounds a bunch like my first baby… no free time, waking through the night, overwhelmed, body doesn’t “bounce back “ My first baby was a boy so maybe that has something to do with that. I was all worth it but I don’t think anyone planning to have a baby should except their lives to be just how it was before, at least not for a bit.

  • Thank you so much. I’m a new mom to a 10 month old and i really appreciated the honesty and the last big point that things get better. I needed that. Sometimes i get so overwhelmed. Now to spend time with my first baby ❤

  • Read the comments first and saw not to watch if pregnant loool. Currently pregnant with second baby… and I’m glad I’m not freaking out haha.

  • We have 2 boys and I want to try for the daughter. I told my husband on our 1st date I wanted 8 kids. Now that we are married. I told him I would settle for 3 kids. My husband is now mentally ill. He thinks we are barely handling what we have. He has obsessive thoughts about the world’s impending doom and about the earth being over-run by trash.

    I’m not ready to let go of my dream. I’m going to be 39. It feels like it’s now or never. I’m so heartbroken. If he was still the man I married, he would do anything to make me happy. Now he is a fearful mentally ill person. Prayers his meds adjustment in December helps him get on board. I wanted to start trying in November. I was even reading about how to conceive a girl. This is soul crushing.

  • When she says it has helped her relationship with her husband, that’s her experience, babies won’t make UR relationship with ur partner better, if u r making a child ur shared distraction, u won’t find happiness

  • He needs to back off give her space n let her find her own way, stop being controlling, please allow her to develop because your making her insecurities worse n then baby will pick up on this xx

  • First of all he is abusive mentally. He pressures her into having a baby then bullies her. He won’t let her find out things on her own. He is a sick controlling man.

  • I’m glad ur honest bc a lot of moms fake it and arent honest abt how hard it is..i have 2 yr old twins and it’s been chaotic from day 1..what ur saying has been my reality since they were born

  • Here because I have a six month old baby and I’m having thoughts of having a second baby and I’m trying to convince myself not to ������ hi from another YouTube mom! Great video ❤️

  • To be honest there are times l wish l never had my second,it’s so stressing atymes..m nt going to have a third one coz l don’t get enough time to do my chores n l feel lyk am not the same anymore,l js feel different…l feel like my daughter no longer gets my attention shz 5 and the second one is 4months

  • My husband and I have just started talking about possibly having a 2nd one. �� maybe I should get my first one out of diapers he is 2

  • I told my husband when my second was born that he needed to get a vasectomy or I would try and have another. He put it off for over a year! And when I started having periods again I told him he needed to use condoms start to finish �� and if he got me pregnant it was on him! Well….waiting right now to see if I am pregnant with number three.

  • The mom and the baby need space!! When he goes to work and travel, she is going to be with the baby, so she needs to feel secure about motherhood, and bond with her child. He is insecure and is scared that the baby may love her more than him, so he is trying to do everything so the baby likes him more.

    And it was disgusting when he said he was ready and would squeeze the baby out if he could. wtf

  • Great video btw, it’s just the reality, we’ll get over it. Still one of the happiest days of my life, being a mum. LOve it so much!

  • You are disgusting, pushing your own expecations onto somebody else even your partner, is the most disgusting thing you can do. If you want kids but they don’t just break up no???? The fuck is wrong with you

  • Having kids is a complete blessing. However, Instead of giving my daughter a sibling I’m giving her a healthy mom… mentally, physically and emotionally.

  • god let her figure it out herself a bit, just a bit. she needs some time alone with the baby, she needs to connect. She needs to figure out Vaseline and breastfeedingand she is tired. I am tired of hearing about you being tired. Let her connect with her baby for gods sake man, I appreciate your help. I appreciate you wanting to do stuff for your baby… but god man, please back off her.

  • None of your persuation tactics is going to work with me.

    I’m kidding… I’m actually infertile so even if you managed to convince me or make me want to it just wouldn’t work.

    Again that was a joke. I’m not infertile but I’m willing to have the surgery so she won’t have any hopes of having children with me if she stays.

  • I fear I want have as much love and connection with a new baby I’m so torn any advice would be greatly appreciated I hope you respond.. thanks

  • I am pregnant with my second (a little boy)…my daughter is turning 2 in Feb. She just hit terrible 2s in the last month or so and doesn’t wanna sleep. I am stressed about having a newborn and my daughter that doesn’t wanna sleep.

  • Hello beautiful
    When i heard you talking about postpartum depression i had tears in my eyes
    I really feel you because i lived the same hard moments and I would love to share my experience with you

  • I am sorry your first born didn’t satisfy that carnal desire to be a parent, as for me all I can say is that I am so blessed that my fist born (and only) did, and still dose, many years later! She simply completed my desire for offspring….

  • Thanks for sharing:) I think the most obvious things aren’t said, but totally need to be! I was so naive when I had my first, didn’t event THINK about what recovery was going to be like. So happy to see that someone is addressing the “obvious” you had some great points:) hope your family is doing great!

  • I want a second child but my husband doesn’t. I think he’s being selfish. He’s only 2. We’re older parents so only small window left but he won’t change mind, we even went for counselling. Trying to accept it now but think it’s been forced on me. I feel huge resentment towards him because of this but realise 1 is a blessing when some can’t have any. But discuss this before marriage, we didn’t specify/state numbers ourselves tbh just said were wanted kids & to me that was always 2. Sure they are expensive, less time, more pressure, harder with 2 but to me anything worth having is hard. Compromise & sacrifice are part of life. Nothing I hear will put me off wanting a second.

  • My first son is a brute and we have not slept through the night for the last year. I am expecting the next kid to the be the polar opposite ����

  • Man..:( This was not encouraging at all, it actually fueled every fear and anxious thought I already have in my 3rd trimester with my 2nd. I know you did’t mean it that way, and I’m sure it’s all true, but do you have another video on how you actually deal with the challenges and anxiety? Does anyone have a more positive/practical video recommendation to watch alongside this?

  • Lol everyone is getting mad because he is literally doing exactly what moms usually do but nobody has a problem with it vise versa. She said herself that she doesn’t feel like a mom and she doesn’t know what to do (just like most guys). I think he’s great and if he hadn’t taken charge she probably would’ve lost it

  • I don’t know why you’re getting so much piss from some of these people in the comments. I think you came off very compassionate in this video. You never once said anything about forcing someone to have children against their will or lying to your partner. You literally emphasized SO many times about being patient and communicating with your partner. It’s like these people just read the title and got butt hurt. Ignore them sweetie.

  • Kinda like useful, but like kinda also like dont kinda know, like kinda video that, like, kinda distracts me like… from the topic.
    #stayinschool ����‍♀️

  • Completely agree with your statement about doing things with your children, individually. That’s what my entire channel is devoted to!

  • Lol im pregnant with number 3 and they will be 2yrs and 10months apart. My 1st child turning 10 so having a newborn and a 7yr old was tough cause I didn’t want to make her feel left out. However it’s way easier now that she is older..Number 3 will be here end of March and now this scares me…Lol but thanks for keeping it real..

  • I change every day depending on my two year old mood. He is so strong willed and stubborn he is exhausting. I don’t know if i could even survive it lol

  • i have one baby girl and i am expecting for my second baby…bt my husband is strictly saying no…..im really worrying about this can u plz suggest me what to do….bt i cant jst adjst wkth one baby grl…i want one baby boy…..plz guide me and my husband is not at all willing

  • Early on in my relationship we discussed kids and were clear we both would like a family, been together for 4 years now and my boyfriend still wants to wait or basically will change the conversation. I’m so in love and don’t understand. I mean I understand the concerns and why to wait but I don’t at the same time. I don’t want to leave the life we’ve made together because I know I would be so sad. I love our home and we have a puppy and obviously him. I just don’t know how to stress it’s now or never. I also don’t know when to leave if he won’t discuss it with me.

  • My fiancé really wants another baby which is not a problem. That being said he hardly has two babies well one is 5 The other is two years old and they are buy two different Ex-girlfriend’s one is not in the picture because she decided drugs were better and didn’t want the responsibility. So he has full custody of her. Now here comes the problem the last girlfriend he had a child with did not even want the child. But she had her anyways and her grandmother is raising her this girl has made our relationship a living hell almost since the beginning. She has called him a deadbeat you name it she’s called him that not to mention the things she said about me. The only deadbeat is her. She is a vile disgusting person and this poor little girl doesn’t even know who to call mom. My fiancé is also paying child support to somebody that doesn’t even take care of the kid. She used to busy out finding men to pay her rent this is all factual because I did attempt to have a relationship with her I thought that was important for the kids and it went well for a while. Then she would change her mind. We currently have eight police reports on her she is also on drugs. And tells her family I’m the one that gave her the drugs which is completely false. It finally came to a she’s gotta go or I got to go. Because she has successfully driven a resentful wedge in between my fiancé and I. Now adoption has been brought up Crazy ex-girlfriend’s aunt and uncle that live in Canada and actually do have a good intentions they can’t have children of their own they can give her flight my fiancé in the crazy chic can’t. But it is killing my fiancé because he feels he’s not doing his part as a father. Keep in mind he works nights at Ford and has to sleep during the day she is the one with Call most custody. She tends to dangle the little girl over my fiancé Head to make him feel bad. We’ve come to the conclusion there will be no peace ever as long as she is in the picture I work days and there’s not much I can do there and I work six days a week. All He ever wanted was a wife and a family. And I wanted the same but this experience has completely turned me off of having another child with him my first child and it’s heartbreaking and the only way we can figure a way to keep her out of our lives is to give the girl a third option to a very good family. my personal opinion she doesn’t have a chance where she is now in life. And I am positive they will allow my fiancé to visit her whenever he would like. I’m disgusted by the court system we have been waiting for almost a year to go back and take the custody away from her because he’s paying her money that should be going to the baby but It isn’t. I’m not getting any younger and 35 just turned. I just feel like if things were worked out like they should’ve been. My feelings would be different so I’m the one that doesn’t want a baby. And I do plan on marrying him and it’s so bad I don’t have words. Should I give up? Should I say there’s no way we will ever have a child of our own? As of right now I can’t do it it’s so much chaos so much stress heartbreaking Anxiety. All because of one girl who wants to be selfish

  • I’m 13 in a relationship of 2 years like obviously like I’m not gonna have kids now but like I want kids I want to be a dad I’m just like scared that this is the right relationship and that we won’t have a discussion soon enough or we split like Ive been working for a Cupple of years in a family business saving almost every thing I would drop all of that for a child. Maybe I’m just super hormonal or something like that but someone please talk please (sorry for ranting)

  • Most of the comments says that husbands are not ready to have a baby. So the wives are convincing them.
    In India, the scenario is different. Exceptions are there.
    mostly a girl gets married, everyone in her family including her husband is obsessed to have a baby soon.
    It is like a machinery process.
    Dont they need to understand each other first?
    And most of the wives are put to shame if she doesn’t have a baby within 30yrs.
    Even if the wife is not ready to have a baby people force them to.
    The scenario goes so.

  • you people are nutz, I have zero interest in kids, why would I ever want to have this creature that prevents you from sleeping, from having a social life, from leaving the house when you want to, you have to wipe their ass holes, and pat down there bits with powder because they have pissed themselves. and when they get older they hate you, and you have you to tell them over and over and over and over and over and over the same damn thing ” please stop banging the pots” then when they get older they get can get pregnant at 16 and are stuck in your house because they can’t move out. because the world is expensive, and now your 60 an stuck with non-stop child help. I have never heard of not one single thing that was good about having a kid. nothing,

  • I think the scariest part for me, is to lose the bond with my first child, I don’t want to feel rejected by him and I also don’t want him to feel he’s rejected cause mummy has to breastfeed and spend more time with the newborn. Right now I’m struggling to put him in the other room, he sleeps in his cotbed in our room, I’ve no idea what to do and yes, I did have some meltdowns already thinking about him feeling rejected or me feeling rejected by him. It’s silly but it’s a real feeling. I LOVE him sleeping in my room, I’m just wondering if he will sleep well considering a newborn wakes up quite frequently and then everybody will be awake and have a horrible night, I need someone who can sleep better…at least my son and my husband…while I wake up more frequently because of the newborn. What a journey…I have a 2y4m boy and currently 37 weeks pregnant with my baby girl…so hard to make certain decisions, but I do know that everything will be alright.

  • It might be way too early to start discussing it but I’d like to have a family of my own. But my bf says they are noisy but I’ve been around them before. I’ll try my best to persuade him

  • Ive been with my BF for 9 years. I didnt really know what I wanted when we got together. Hes 11 years older.

    Now I want to have a bigger family with a child, but hes on board one day and sceptical the next.

    I dont knlw what to do

  • As far as I can see the finance problem is connected to insurance. Where I live we don’t pay for any medical procedures whatsoever, so I think the finance one is more so related to USA than to having 2 babies.

  • I have two kids 4 and three, I want another one he doesn’t. I’m a stay at home mom. We use the pullout method so I just pray he fails lol

  • My baby turned 1 a month ago. My hubby and I have been talking about having a second child we both agreed that we would wait until baby girl starts preschool.

  • Gina have more faith in yourself and trust your instincts. You appear to be an intelligent person and I doubt you’d ever forget to feed your baby.

  • This was really helpful. I’m in such a bad spot right now. We have been trying to conceive for two and a half years. Now into our first ivf cycle he dropped the bomb on me that he isn’t ready…

  • @lifewithchrista just something I notice… YOU REPEAT YOURSELF A LOT like around 11:00 mins in you repeated “It’s okay to be overwhelmed” 30 times xD

  • My fiance (we’ve been together 3 years) wants to wait until I’m around 28 to have kids (I’m 23 and he’s 28 now). We live together and are in a great financial place. But every time I bring up kids he is so indecisive, saying “I’m not sure” and stuff like that. Drives me crazy. I don’t want to wait until I’m 28 to have kids because I want more then one and have decided I definitely do not want to be having kids in my 30s (family medical issues.) What do I do!?

  • My baby’s 9months old, he’ll be a year and a half when I’ll be due �� he’s so chill and such a happy baby! I just really hope my 2nd comes out even just a bit like him, lol. #2Under2HereWeCome!

  • This is disgusting. Nobody has the right to convince their partner to make the most life-changing decision of their life if they either 1) Don’t want kids ever or 2) Don’t want kids now. Pressuring them to become a parent when they don’t want to will destroy your marriage.

  • I’ve been with my partner for 14 years now and we have a child together he’s 6yrs old. We tryed a few years ago and had a miscarriage and now my partner wants to try again but I don’t want any more children every time my partner brings up the subject I say we’ll talk about it later or I talk about something completely different

  • I’m getting married this September and last fall my fiancé told me that he knows I really want a baby and a family with him but that we needed to wait a little bit longer BUT that we could start trying this coming fall. About a month ago he told me no again. That he isn’t ready or sometimes he will just say he doesn’t want kids at all. And I don’t know what to do. It’s breaking my heart. I love him and I want more of him in the world but At this point I don’t think he will ever be in a place where he says he wants to. I literally don’t even know what to do at his point.

  • My wife needs convincing but I can’t force her…she has one from a previous marriage though. Before we were married it was a maybe but a couple of years later it’s a no.

  • My fiance have already 2 kids from previous relationship, and i dont. He doesnt want anymore and there’s no negotiating on that. I love him to pieces, i dont have kids yet. He said he doesnt want to go through the process again, also money probably. It’s hard to be on different page.

  • Hi Kristin, thanks for a comforting and nice video. I’m not married, no where close, but starting to get more serious in my relationship with a partner thats a hard no on kids. We both love each other and want to make it work and make each other the primary focus and see what happens, but I do get anxiety now and then. I’m still in college and graduating soon so I think it’s important I learn to live independent and not rely on my parents, as well as live with him for a while before I even consider this. But again, it’s something I’ve always seen myself wanting 10 years from now (I’m 23). My partner is 28. He seems to be rooted in fear of not being able to live his full life and also he fears being responsible for someone else. He said it feels trapping for him. But your video is helping me come up with ideas to make the conversation more comfortable for me to approach so I can’t thank you enough. Happy Holidays!

  • 3rd or 4th?! I’m trying to get him on board for a 2nd!?�� Need my sis in laws to “write nice emails” lol. They’ve already bullied him half his life, I don’t want go that direction!

  • Damn I inherited three step sons in my marriage and we have full custody and then after being told I couldn’t get pregnant ended up pregnant with our babygirl and when I was still pregnant my mother in law was asking me when we were gonna have another one…like what??? If we were rich I would def have another one but I feel it’s just not fair to the kids so that I could experience pregnancy again and have another biological child… I don’t want my boys to suffer.

  • My second baby is 5months now and my husband already talking about wanting a third child. I on the other hand had 2 c section and not want to go through that again, plus it’s hard with just two kids. But secretly I kinda do want a third child but scared…

  • I’m glad I fell on this channel! Both of you are hilariously honest! This channel will be my new go-to for advice and a few laughs. In my mid 30’s and planning on my first in a few months. I thank you!

  • You guys are blessed!!!! My husband and I have been married for 7 years and still fighting to have our first and me having PCOS doesn’t help either. SMH

  • I wanted a huge family when I was a kid. But as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first I knew two kids was my limit. Pregnancy is not for me. I had my tubes tied the day after giving birth to my second. Lucky for me my boyfriend was totally on board with it. Because if he wasn’t I told him he could find someone else to have another one with. I love my two kids and its perfect for us. I applaud you guys for going after the number of kids you want. Mom’s do the majority of the work, it should ultimately be up to us:)

  • Omg please help me �� my husband is giving me a hard time, we argued yesterday I don’t want to leave him for another, please help I feel ready

  • We just had our second and now have a girl and a boy. A part of me doesn’t feel done, but I have my doubts about adding another eventually. What pushed you two over he edge to just GO FOR IT?! I go back and forth and not sure what it’ll take to tip me over the edge. Is it just insane with 3 and 4 kids..?

  • BIG topic in our house right now! We have two boys who are 9 and 6, so it would be a total do over on the whole baby stage! Any thoughts?!?

  • I just asked you this in two post before (sorry for the spam)… but we are both on board and both with doubts, so I think is really the moms decision because we are the ones that have more work to do… I will wait for your thoughts

  • My husband wants to have 9 kids! Yeah 9. And right now I’m pregnant with my third and we have my two stepdaughters with us full time (mom abandoned them). So, I guess we are almost at 5. And I’m going to stop here. 3 is more than enough for me

  • *Youtuber “If your adopting then obviously this wouldn’t apply to you”…
    Of course the adoptive parent won’t go through the effects of pregnancy..
    They know this! Its breaking their heart not to have a kid of their own. It totally is obvious, so there wasn’t any reason to bring it up.
    Also adoptive parents who want newborns will still go through the same stuff with a second newborn baby.
    Some adoptive parents sometimes stick around to help the biological mother with what she needs for recovery so the part about what happens to the body after pregnancy is something that the adoptive parent and biological mother will go through together hand in hand. Adoptive parents shouldn’t be excluded from this information.
    They Shouldn’t be told, if your an adoptive parent then this wouldn’t happen to you, so you don’t need to worry about it.

  • I felt for her so badly at first when he was being so rude about things she didn’t know! He could have gone to a “class” as he called it with her!
    I am proud of the her for standing up for herself and for the confidence she gained! She is 100% right that she’s not her mom and can learn from what she didn’t have in how to raise her baby!

  • Him trying to say the baby “has” to be lying with her head angled down to breastfeed. No, the baby doesn’t have to sit that way. Back off of her a little and let her be a mom.

  • Oh my gosh….the things he say would just tick me off….he would have to give me some space to figure it out…..he is like a helicopter……and he just downs her so much…..I dont see how she put up with it…. but she does seem like it dont bother her….so if she happy so am i……but wow

  • I’m here to tell you it’s all going to be okay! My first never slept and was up every half hour. He Still doesn’t sleep in his bed (he’s 2) They will grow out of it or you can decide to sleep train. Personally I love the snuggles!!! Don’t worry what everyone says you’ll know what works for you. He didn’t use his swing but he did like his bouncer. I think including him in everything I did wore him out so he napped longer eventually and learned how to behave in public places. He went through phases with food. Switching up soaps or toys isn’t a huge deal. I love different little personalities. After first baby I did not naturally bounce back my body totally changed I was about 35+ lbs overweight. I dieted and worked out and look even better now with baby number 2!!!!! Honestly after working out carrying a baby around was so much easier and way more energy. I work out at home no gym so you can too. I think she was overwhelmed when she made this video. Not everyday is like this! It’s rarely. Especially in the beginning. You will adapt! Don’t even worry about baby weight right after just focus on baby, sleeping and self care. It all falls into place. When youre ready to workout or diet you’ll know. I waited until my baby slept through the night to consider.

  • I feel bad for her. She needs support, not this competitive “I’m better at being a mother than you” business from her husband. He should be helping her bond and learn! She is such a good momma!

  • Gina is in a severely emotionally and mentally ABUSIVE relationship……I pray she gets her husband into long-term and intensive counseling to help him change into a caring and supportive partner (if she chooses to stay in this marriage to a controlling, narcissistic oppressor).

  • Lotsa red flags here. Control freak narcissistic and determined to dominate. I hope she learns to stand up for herself plus I felt it a bit worrying about how he will be with his daughter if he has such a strong desire to “win”. That trash talking the new mum to his daughter was disgraceful. It’s a partnership guys.

  • He is so awful to her!! Omg! The poor woman didn’t even want a baby and now she has one and he acts like she does everything wrong.

  • This poor girl wasn’t mentally prepared for a child. The husband is sexist, controlling and he sounds like the rudest guy out there.

  • If this was my husband I’d leave him. Even if it were reversed roles this is definitely unhealthy. He is terrible. His attitude won’t ever force her to become a mother if she said she wasn’t ever ready. You don’t force people who aren’t ready into any situation.

    I’m currently pregnant and even though I know I’ll be ready I know that as of right now I’m more terrified that maybe I’m not ready enough. And don’t even get me started on my husband, he’s frantic but he knows all of what needs to be done with our child.
    But we would never attack each other like this we communicate with each other and voice our concerns and see how we can both help each other.

  • I feel like every mother is different, from our daily routines to our patience and how much we can handle as a parent. Don’t get me wrong being a mum is hard but honestly I always feel like it’s worth it. My son can drive me crazy but then it doesn’t take me time to realise that he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m forever grateful. I don’t know if it’s just me being naive but I have a toddler and expecting another and I’m so excited! I know it’s not going to be easy but I feel like my son has made me used to motherhood it’s a familiar thing now not like my first pregnancy where I didn’t know what to expect at all and getting into a routine was hard. Motherhood is not easy but I feel like optimism helps ��.

  • I’m glad I’m not the only one who immediately got a strong reaction to this husband. This woman needs to get a sense of identity and stand on her own two feet because she’s letting her husband control waaaayyy to much.

  • I’m 38+3 weeks pregnant with my little girl and this guy makes me sick! If my husband dared talk to me like this I would snap! He’s narcissistic!

  • Thank god my husband wasnt like this man, my husband was never or is delittling me or making me feel like a bad mother, he left me to bond with all three of our daughters, he helped me through my labours with all of them and helped me with our first child as we were both learning but he never just took over but he was there in case I needed advice or help. With our other two daughters he let me bond with them, I had a fast and easy labour at home with our last daughter which is a wonderful experience ever for me my husband and my little baby who is 14 weeks old now. But let a mother just adjust to being a mother she will get there in her own time and way. I would love to smack him one.

  • This mom seems like she just needs to whine… lol 2 kids is not that hard… i dont get why she makes it sound do hard. One of her kids is in school all day long ��

  • She let’s him, that’s why he does it. If my husband came between me and my kid, he’d have lost a limb, that’s how strong hormones are at that stage.

  • Wish I could finish this episode but this man is so horrible to his wife, I can’t. He wanted someone he could control & he got it. I wish I could hug this mama and tell her “none of us know what we’re doing!”
    I wouldn’t be surprised if he got her pregnant on purpose without her knowledge.

  • He’s a real piece of work. She needs to run. He thinks and basically openly states that he is superior and belittles her. Dude, stop complainimg about her, YOU PICKED HER. Get over yourself.

  • You really shouldn’t convince people to have kids….. There’s a good chance that if they have them because you asked them to that they won’t actually bond with the child. And eventually the child will be able to tell

  • Our mum left our family when I was 3, I had two children now they have there own children.
    I found it very difficult never knew how to look after my children my resent me I tried my best, its hurts so bad when she was younger I thought we where best friends but apparently she says we weren’t.
    My heart is broken
    If mum is feeling on edge and worrying the baby will feel it and if hes standing watching its unnerving her so dont stand watching go do something else

  • Her husband reminded me of those movies where the husband kills the women to have custody of the child. Omg he actually gave me chills he is evil, and I hope that this women sees the show and reads the comments and gets the strength to leave with her daughter.

  • Omg if my husband treated me like this I would feel like slapping him in the face.
    The “Mumma should have taken a class” comment made me see red! ��

  • I dont think hes controlling at all. He just seems to be a really hands on dad in a time when the mum seems to be a little lost with her baby. One thing I will ask tho is what did they mean by sugar water? That sounds terrible? Is that really a thing that people give babies or did they just mean formula?

  • Look how choked up she got when he almost complimented her parenting. She is dying for some kind of affirmation from him. I just want to give her a big hug!

  • Having a supportive and involved partner is really wonderful, but there’s nothing worse than someone who thinks they are always right. The narrator had it spot on, this dude is exacerbating her insecurities as a mother.

    Gena it’s a learning process, some people aren’t given wonderful mothers to begin with and learn from. That doesn’t mean you can’t be a good mom! You care enough to be there and keep trying, be kind to yourself.

    That man isn’t a very nice partner. He’s not good for her self esteem.

  • This poor man, he needs a real woman. She has no idea what she is doing. He does need to be a little less cocky, considering he is the man…but with the wife, maybe he needs to be forward. How did they even wnd up together?!

  • god just let her figure it out without lingering over her shoulder every second… also the dog is just too cute!! standing at the side of the bed curious!

  • Well, I am glad I read the postings first because I have to agree with everyone. This appears to not be a healthy relationship and this poor woman was more or less appeasing his wishes and failing to acknowledge how she truly feels regarding having a baby when she is not emotionally prepared. There also seems like there is no lack of bonding between mom and baby. I hope things have changed for this family.

  • I think this woman made a HUGE mistake in agreeing to have a baby JUST to please her man. Babies can be wonderful. They can be very fulfilling to a couple. But if Mommy didn’t want the baby yet, she could start to RESENT the baby and her husband. Who seems slightly sexist and narcissistic and DEFINITELY controlling of her….particularly when it comes to the baby.. When she was changing the diaper and he was hovering over her saying “we need to teach Mommy this stuff” I was like OMG, man, just let her bond with her baby”. And she might have especially negative feelings if Dad is being “Mr. Mom” and showing off how good he is with the baby and she’s not bonding so well with the baby. I was actually really proud of her when she said she finally stood up to him and said “Wait a minute, I’M the baby’s mom, and you need to treat me with respect and give me a chance to bond with my baby”.

  • Too familiar with my first born I delivered c section birth caused by a torn placenta, at 32 weeks. Gave birth to a beautiful angel (TimNay) weighing 3 lbs. 7 oz
    five years later i had my son c section birth. 10 VERY QUICK MONTHS LATER GAVE BIRTH TO MY THIRD CHILD ( TEAH) C SECTION BIRTH…YES I HAD NOT 1 BUT 2 C SECTION BIRTHS IN 10 QUICK MONTHS.. MY BODY IS STILL NOT RIGHT TODAY 10 1/2 YEARS LATER OK. NO JOKE VERY PAINFUL AND STRESSFUL. AFTER MY THIRD CHILD I HAD MY TUBES TIED,CLIPPED AND BURNED…….

  • In my opinion she is useless woman and I don’t know why did he pursuade her instead of just having another woman. It is a bad decision to take all parenting and house chores on to yourself.

  • Im so happy you made this video, so honest and brave:D but super helpful. I wish there’d be more of the honesty video like yours <3

  • This man is a bully who wants to act like a martyr. He is such an arrogant man and is literally smothering her and trash talking her.���� I hope she stops letting him push her around.

  • What a toxic douchebag. The kind of guy whos own experience is also everyone elses no exceptions. Commenting that parenting is simply “common sense”. So what then, when your wife is struggling because of her own moherlytraumas and parenting a newborn like so so so many people do, that she doesnt possess common sense and is being somehow stupid or without it? He will take any confidence that women has so that she doesnt leave and becomes a prisoner.

  • How are you suppose to learn when he does most things and doesnt let her figure it out. There would be no way I could handle that dude.

  • Thanks for information..madam please give some information about my next baby because I have already 3 years old baby bat another problem so what I do I did spand 2 months with my wife but not result..because I am liveing in dubai the wife is not with me..she is in Pakistan..can you help me..thanks

  • This made me really emotional. We have a nearly 3 year old and we are soooo indecisive of whether we should have another. To be honest we are only considering having one just for my daughter and not because we really want another. The financial implications, the stress, the relationship constraints, the time.. what to do:-(

  • I had my 3rd csection in october of 2013 4 months later I got pregnant with my 4th child…yes I was scared getting pregnant so soon after a csection but I had no complication whatsoever and the delivery went splendid I was so relieved

  • The way he was hovering over her was almost like he didn’t want her to learn on her own. He can’t Breast feed the baby so step back and let her mother her I could scream while watching this

  • Hello! You are so good at hitting each question on target. I have a six month old who will only drink about 4-5 ounces every 3 hours and about 20 oz. in a 24 hour period. He won’t drink more than 4-5 oz. and if he does on a good day drink more than 6 oz. he spits it up. Is he just not able to drink more? He has recently started sleeping 10 hrs a night so we don’t want to disturb his sleep or ours during night time so we try to give him the recommended amount of milk during the day but he just wont take more than 4-5 oz at a time in 3 three hour intervals. Also, he only likes to drink his milk only when he is about to dose off to sleep. We try to feed him while he is awake but he just won’t drink no matter what we do, he hold his mouth tightly closed until we give up. So this is really two questions, how do we get him to drink more milk during the day and how do we get him to drink while awake. Thank you so much for reading this and look forward to hearing your answer.

  • No importa video Unidos en Estados Unidos te pregunto porque quiero que hagan un video videos de Luis Enrique ya bebé pero no por favor