6 Ways Bullying Impacts the household

 

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6 Ways Bullying Impacts the Family Feelings of Powerlessness. Because bullying is a choice that is made by the bully, there is very little that parents and Physical Symptoms. Parents often report being physically ill when they learn about the bullying their child is enduring.

Anger, Agitatio. 6 Ways Bullying Impacts the Family. By Sherri Gordon 5 Myths About Victims of Bullying. By Sherri Gordon The Effects of Slut-Shaming on Teen Girls.

Medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD Why Victims of Bullying Often Suffer in Silence. By Sherri Gordon 6 Ways Bullying Impacts. 6 Ways Bullying Impacts the Family.

By Sherri Gordon 5 Myths About Victims of Bullying. By Sherri Gordon The Effects of Slut-Shaming on Teen Girls. Medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD Why Victims of Bullying Often Suffer in Silence. By Sherri Gordon 6 Ways Bullying Impacts. The best way to deal with bullying is quick intervention.

If bullying is not stopped and is continuously overlooked, it can become a serious problem and cause a lot of damage. Therefore, bullying within the family or bullying anywhere can. The Effects & Consequences of Bullying Bullying Assessment & Intervention Bullying at School Cyberbullying Even the most sensitive parents may routinely act in ways that encourages marginalization of the “others” in our society. This section will explore the different ways parents can critique their own behaviors, because even those readers.

Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience: Depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood. Effects of Family Bullying Once the initial confrontation between bully and victim has taken place or has been suggested, the element of threat of further aggression exists. Both the bully and the victim know that the bullying will continue and that it is unrealistic to expect that a bullying encounter is merely a single event.

The impact of bullying is not only on the child. Unfortunately, when thinking about the impact of bullying, it is not only confined to the child involved. The family of those involved in bullying can also find themselves being heavily impacted.

Maybe they will also have feelings of anger, guilt and stress. Often, they have a feeling of helplessness. Taking action helps to stop bullying, prevent bullying and ensure that a person being bullied gets the necessary support.

Encourage your child to: Model inclusive, empathetic and kind behaviors. Sit or walk with kids who may be a target of bullying. Question the bullying behavior when it happens. Enlist friends to question bullying behavior as.

Bullies are more likely to skip school, drop out of school, smoke, drink alcohol, get into fights and be arrested at some point in their life. 60% of boys who were bullies in middle school had at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24.

List of related literature:

I did find a slight (but not strong) effect for family size and vulnerability to bullying.

“Bullying and Cyberbullying: What Every Educator Needs to Know” by Elizabeth Kandel Englander
from Bullying and Cyberbullying: What Every Educator Needs to Know
by Elizabeth Kandel Englander
Harvard Education Press, 2013

Families promote emotional and behavioural resilience to bullying: Evidence of an environmental effect.

“Handbook of Parenting and Child Development Across the Lifespan” by Matthew R. Sanders, Alina Morawska
from Handbook of Parenting and Child Development Across the Lifespan
by Matthew R. Sanders, Alina Morawska
Springer International Publishing, 2018

Family dynamics of low parental involvement, poor warmth, minimal family cohesion, and single-parent homes are all linked with an increase in bullying behavior.

“Swanson's Family Medicine Review” by Alfred F. Tallia, Joseph E. Scherger, Nancy Dickey
from Swanson’s Family Medicine Review
by Alfred F. Tallia, Joseph E. Scherger, Nancy Dickey
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2008

For example, Roberts and Morotti suggest that bullying behavior stems from abusive, chaotic home environments in which families bully the child, who in turn bullies a peer (i.e., a ‘‘kick-thedog’’ phenomenon).

“Encyclopedia of Applied Psychology” by Charles Spielberger
from Encyclopedia of Applied Psychology
by Charles Spielberger
Elsevier Science, 2004

Furthermore, bullying within families among siblings also occurs (Berry & Adams, 2016).

“Health Promotion Throughout the Life Span E-Book” by Carole Lium Edelman, Carol Lynn Mandle, Elizabeth C. Kudzma
from Health Promotion Throughout the Life Span E-Book
by Carole Lium Edelman, Carol Lynn Mandle, Elizabeth C. Kudzma
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2017

Ideally data on bullying should be collected across settings of the home, school, community, and lab by multiple informants (observers, children, peers, parents, teachers), using multiple methods (home observations, lab tasks, classroom, playground, questionnaires, interviews) (Swearer and Espelage 2004:4).

“The Hidden Life of Girls: Games of Stance, Status, and Exclusion” by Majorie Harness Goodwin
from The Hidden Life of Girls: Games of Stance, Status, and Exclusion
by Majorie Harness Goodwin
Wiley, 2008

Influence of family therapy on bullying behavior, cortisol secretion, anger, and quality of life in bullying making adolescents: A randomized, prospective, controlled study.

“Marriage and Family Therapy: A Practice-Oriented Approach” by Linda Metcalf, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S
from Marriage and Family Therapy: A Practice-Oriented Approach
by Linda Metcalf, PhD, LPC-S, LMFT-S
Springer Publishing Company, 2011

As parents give their children more independence and privileges (e.g., cell phones, less restrictive Internet access), the opportunity for bullying increases.

“Encyclopedia of Human Behavior” by Vilayanur S. Ramachandran
from Encyclopedia of Human Behavior
by Vilayanur S. Ramachandran
Elsevier Science, 2012

A cross­cultural comparison showed a significant relationship between parents’ harming a child physically and the child victim’s bullying behaviors (Dussich & Maekoya, 2007).

“Family Violence Across the Lifespan: An Introduction” by Ola W. Barnett, Cindy L. Miller-Perrin, Robin D. Perrin
from Family Violence Across the Lifespan: An Introduction
by Ola W. Barnett, Cindy L. Miller-Perrin, Robin D. Perrin
SAGE Publications, 2010

Frey et al.’s(2009) Steps to Respect program, forexample,targets both individual andenvironment factors to reduce school bullying.

“The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Childhood Social Development” by Peter K. Smith, Craig H. Hart
from The Wiley-Blackwell Handbook of Childhood Social Development
by Peter K. Smith, Craig H. Hart
Wiley, 2010

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • I have had verbal abuse from my parents and grandparents, they also acuse me for stuff i didnt do. So that makes a me very sencetive and a overthinker which cause a lot of strees. Ik they love me and talked to me after but they never notice wheres wrong. They thought it was just me being navy.

  • I am 57 yrs. old and was sexually abused as a child and bullied in Jr. high. I suffer from PTSD, depression, anxiety, and OCD. I’ve been addicted to speed, weed and alcohol and still “disassociate” to escape reality when reality becomes unbearable. I would disassociate to escape when I was being abused. As I got older I called it, “day dreaming” or “spacing out” when in reality it was disassociating. As I have gotten older I have “flashbacks” of things I forgot. I realize now why these flashbacks occur now that I’m older because I am able to handle them better now as an older wiser adult. I now know the reason for my communication skills being so bad. Because I was raised in the generation where kids were to be seen and not heard. I was always told to “shut up” and “quit crying.” Being abused as a child has many different affects on us and we struggle with them everyday.

  • I was psychologically abused at home and bullied at school…..
    Today I am facing many psychological issues….I have extreme distrust of people, inferiority complex, I cannot deal with people….I am uncomfortable when people are around…….I lack self esteem, I am over conscious about my self and I face social anxiety…I get panic while talking….I get anxiety attacks and many times suicidal thoughts….I want to tell my situation to someone…but I can’t…
    Today my parents love me and are fine with me…they are not like that they were before…but remnants of my past are damaging me….������

  • thank you, first video from your channel ive seen. the science and stats help me so much to understand what happened to me and why my family members are the way they are. i look forward o exploring your channel. Subscribed.

  • My shame left me when my mother finely died,and i left my narcissistic family of 8siblings.My life bloomed. Getting beaten for going to uni,i was some what strong,and not stupid, im so alive these days,5years and growing stronger.��������

  • Can you please make a video about Body Dysmorphic Disorder. ��Thank you in advance..
    PS. thank you for helping with everyone’s mental health. Finding this channel is a blessing��

  • This is my mom. She stopped my biological dad from seeing me and he’s no longer here:’( I missed a relationship with the man who loved me. Yesterday I went insane, I told my mom and stepdad EVERYTHING about themselves.. even used the word NARCISSIST!!! And they told everyone I’m mentally sick! So now my family think I’m mentally ill and have shunned me. I now see myself going down that route with my kids.. I’m scared I’ll end up like her. I know this is a long process. Thank you for sharing the tools to be free xx

  • My childhood?
    -mentally abused by my family
    -got into tons of drama making me want to die
    -faked my death
    -called myself toxic and junk
    -told that when im older ill have real problems to deal with
    -therapy didnt help
    -went to the hospital due to stress
    -doctors made me take sleeping pills even though sleep isnt my problem
    -doctors didnt help
    -called a brat multiple times
    -called selfish
    -fake friends
    -only real friends called me selfish
    -believing im an attention seeking toxic brat (still believe it)
    Eh its not that bad

  • Thank you, Lisa, for producing the program. When I was a young boy I was the parent. I realize this was structured so I could be blamed for my parent’s poor parenting. My parents talked to me with jokes and sarcasm. I am a self deprecating person as a result. They have tried to destroy my relationship between me and my wife. I realize this has happened because they didn’t want my wife to reveal to me that I was neglected by my parents. I had good clothes and ate well, when I was a young boy, but I was certainly emotionally neglected to a tremednous degree in the ways you described in this program. I am 61 and my parents have made every atttempt to control me exactly as you have described in your parentification summary. I am grateful to your for this program. It is nice not to feel like a horrible person and your program is the only time I have had my side of heard eventhough it is through your words.

  • For me it was the opposite I started working out and taking boxing classes and people stopped bullying me and I realized the stronger I am the less likely I am to be sexually assaulted bullied or abused again and I worked out so much but I had a massive spike in blood pressure and almost caused myself to have a heart attack being swolo won’t help you if you’re dead

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  • So my mother! I thank god for these videos everyday xx it’s changed my life and thinking, it’s nice to know for sure it wasn’t me and it wasn’t my fault x

  • 30 years old and can’t parent my child with my father around and feels at times he distorts reality and Will call her my name and me my mother’s name. Like hello I am not your ex wife. And wonder if at times he distorts the reality we are currently in. And he was my daughter’s primary caretaker as I worked and went to college ft. And now after my 2nd relationship and having a 2nd child w a narc or type of emotionally unavailable person I have now learns so much but feel to late to help my daughter s she now wants to feel like a child an love with her father which I get but I really wanna get us help and heal all of mine an my parent’s projections onto her before she actually moves and as you said the attachment trauma and making sure she does not have the infantilization parentification swop the words lol aka heal all damage I can at least admit to her and make sure she is enough and her feelings do matter before she if still then chooses to live with her father so before separated a bond can begin to be created. If that all make a sense. Is there any videos you can recommend for an 11 years old though I do know therapy is needed. Living together or not.
    Thanks if so and thank you for all the videos you have provided so far!

  • If you’re going to talk to your mom as an adult and not a child, call her by her name.

    You before the idea that you are still a child by calling her mom, by her title, by her status.

  • You can either seek help for your issues of take all of your traumas out on an innocent child. Hell, that’s what all of the adults in my family (except me) have done. Every adult will shorten an innocent child’s life all to make themselves feel better. Ironically, my KARMA doesn’t play that shit. Catchem and killem KARMA. I love karma, She knows how to destroy CHILD ABUSERS. ��

  • I was abused too. My life is like hell. In fact, it is not life but survival. I have PTSD, depression, anxiety… I have been fighting for 15 years, but I don’t see any results. I don’t know how to proceed

  • I’ve felt hell so much that I am not scared of God (I am a Muslim) or Hell, nor the Devil. NO ONE can heal me! Can I open up to you reading? If so comment “Yes”.

  • My parents expected me to be in the forces, like my father and brother. When I joined the police the only alternative acceptable to them (they had a photo of me in uniform) and then left because it was not for me and I got engaged, they kept telling people that I was still doing that job long after. The treated me like dirt after I left. The fact that I was unhappy doing shift work and did’t like living in police accommodation,, witnessed sexism didn’t matter to them at all.

  • My Mom hits me with the belt and slipper very hard and I cry and I run to my room and she follows me in and I lock the door and says open the door and I open it and she hits me

  • My mom has done so much damage to my childhood. I feel scared and anxious most times. I detach myself from people to cope. She tries to cripple me under her grasps because I’m only 19. Whatever she could do or say to make me feel bad about who I am, what I do, or what I dream of then she’d do it with no remorse. She believes everyone around her is a problem except her. She never listens to me. For 10 years she’s had my sexual offender living with us and she never left or called the police despite what happened. Her excuse was that she needs love too. My 2 sisters moved out of state and barely call. They are +26 years older than me and they found a way to get away. She tries to dictate and the decisions that I make on my own, she makes fun of and downplays. Even when I would have emotional breakdowns and cry hysterically, it’s only fuel and she won’t stop. She’ll threaten me if I have a breakdown. I had a breakdown last night because she wouldn’t let me get rest after finding out about 3 family deaths in one day (one on her side and two on my father’s side). I asked her for a nights rest because I haven’t had more than 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days. I told her I could kill myself or runaway and she opened the door. She then kicked me out and told me that my sisters and I could go to hell. My mother is 61 and I ran away to Alabama for college (from Illinois). I tried to be her savior child and have a relationship with her. But I’m on the edge. Either I leave her alone or I keep riding this rode of depression and low self-esteem. I’m already alone. My brother killed himself and my family members are older and are passing away around me. My dad’s girlfriend keeps him (my dad) away from me and she is an alcoholic and an addict to crack cocaine. I have 2 more weeks of this before I go back to school. I wish I knew what to do.

  • I just play video games all the time trying to deal with my own childhood trauma. I’ve been dealing with this shit for 30 years and I’m 38 now. I’m a black male who is an introvert and I hate being around large groups of people. To keep it short alot of shit happened to me from every category. I don’t feel sorry for myself, but I do hate me. I hate everything about me. It almost feels like i was selected for abuse from when i was born. Some of this shit doesn’t make any sense. I do the best I know how to make it day to day. Video games get boring sometimes so I just close myself off most of the time. For the past couple of years it seems like child abuse is the talk everywhere I go forcing me to recall my childhood experiences in situations where I respond poorly by turning to alcohol or whatever I can to not speak or think about it. But I think I’m nearing a point of FHITO. Fuck how it turns out. I never talked to anyone all these years in fear of embarrassment, shame, etc. My favorite group is KoRn and I never knew what Johnathan was talking about until last year. I been listening to them since the late 90’s. Their music takes me to a place of anger where I can control it, and subdue it. Some songs I cry, others I laugh, others I’m angry. And now I am stressed so it ends here. Be strong, I guess….

  • My father was emotionally unavailable and I bottled all the abuse up and I was lucky enough to be good at soccer so I released it through that instead of drugs but when I stopped playing And after I went into a toxic relationship I have fallen into anxiety and I know that it’s because of that trauma so now I have to conduct myself and be the person who I know I am because I have always been social but my parents made me feel like I wasn’t because they didn’t let me go out with freinds who invented me but now ima do everything to become a social butterfly and reach the perss as in I knew I was supposed to be

  • This sounds like the mother, she would tell me how ugly I was or how fat I was ask me if I was ashamed in the way I looked how no one would ever love me Ect mean while telling my brother and sister how wonderful they where how they can do what ever they wanted to do in life, I was never allowed to tell the “family” what went on in our house but if I was ever bad or did anything she would tell everyone and then they would all tell me how bad I was and how horrible I was to my poor mother! I hate her �� I have tried to get along with her but the sister is now one herself and will cause trouble an the mother will side with her always, the last straw was when I found out she messaged my daughter and tried to cause an argument between me and my daughter naaaa she’s now GONE I hate her with everything in me and never want too see her again.

  • I had grew up with both abusive parents that are also fighting with each other and family members. I was ridicule in front of everyone for being benched at youth football, beaten for years as a little child for small mistakes, a lot of things unimaginable that I would not wish upon anyone to experience. I moved on once I had become an adult and cut off toxic relationships with my parents. I am currently raising my son to the best of my ability letting him be happy and discover himself with tons of support and constructive parenting.

  • I’m not 100℅ if this is abuse, and I don’t wanna call it abuse without knowing if it is or not. My mother has narcissistic personality disorder. She disregards everyone else for her own needs, and thinks she’s above everyone else. Her only forms of punishment to me are hitting or making me feel bad about what I’ve done. She always says things like “you shouldn’t of done that, it makes me feel like a bad mom”. And stuff like that. I don’t blame her for her problems, and I know it’s not her fault. My father is also very critical of me, especially when it comes to grades and school. Whenever I set a goal for school or get a grade like A-, instead of wishing me luck he focuses on what’s not done. If I get an Aor B or something he’ll say “why didn’t you get an A+?” “You’re just not trying, do better next time or you’re getting your phone taken”. I like to think it’s just high expectations but I know I’ve done my best, and I don’t know how to please him. My mother is less critical of me, but always comments on small things like my hair, clothes, weight, large waist, things like that. It’s caused me to be very insecure about my body and looks, as well as constantly trying to be the best and feeling terrible when I can’t do something right. Please, can someone explain what’s going on here? I love my parents to death, but I’d like to know if I’m just overreacting to my situation before I make any assumptions and call abuse. Thank you!

  • I know that exactly I was the slave, and my sister was the princess. I hurt so deeply because she was loved and I knew I was not. if I was ever hurt my mom would say get up your just faking it even when everyone knew I was hurt really bad. my sister and mom would make fun of me. and other people would say why are they so mean to you? I don’t go around my family anymore because they deny any abuse, and I am free today. who needs their crap?

  • yo I hate my dad dude buys my sister everything from any food TO 150 DOLLARS TOYS when he buys me nothing all he does is hit me I’m actually done with this he makes me hurt inside I wish he is gone.

  • This man sure knows his stuff fair play to him very informative peace from noeleen in my ireland where the grass is greener than green. Still

  • If I become a mother then I will not be like my parents but will support my children and he or she can talk to me about anything and Most importantly I won’t judge them no matter what will happen

  • One of the best things I’ve learned to get over learned helplessness is to take community classes & workshops. It teaches me how to do things for myself, & gives me a much needed confidence boost. Even free online courses like foreign languages. But most often I’m listening to guided meditations like yours, Lisa, to help rewrite the old programming. Thank you for doing what you do.

  • This video should be required watching for all high school seniors(to show them how childhood trauma effects later life) convicted molestors, rapists….. abusers….

  • I have epilepsy. Regular tonic-clonic seizures every 2-4 weeks. I have an ACE score of 7. I wish I had the opportunity to seek out counseling.

  • the other videos a few years ago about Amen was SSRI, ZOLOFT, ETC… and now he goes to finally talk what other ND’s have been talking about for 10-30 years: nutritional deficiencies

  • I definitely know how gaslighting feels. Not by a parent but a aunt who had custody of me. She has hit me in the face until my nose started bleeding and made fun of me cutting my self before but when I brought it up she act like I was crazy and that it never happen.

  • If you can’t express empathy & are unable to understand emotions of another, get help, before you ruin someone’s life. You are dangerous until you learn how to do this & IT CAN BE LEARNED!!!

  • Hi psych2go. If you read this comment can you help me. I used to let my emotions lose when my family is around but when they saw me cry once for something stupid they assumed that I would always cry for stupid things and stupid reasons and always mocked me. It kinda hurt me mentally. Since then till to this day I bottled my feelings. I am mostly surrounded by my family so I didn’t really let my feeling lose. So now I feel like a bubble waiting to burst at any moment. I don’t know what to do. Can you please help or tell me a way I can explain my family

  • All this suggests to me that bringing up a child to be healthy, both physically and emotionally, is a lottery.
    It is the luck of the draw and there are no certainties.
    The one human thing we should cultivate is a tolerance and sympathy for anyone struggling with their life.
    Why make scapegoats of victims?

  • i live in a society where the government agree that slaping and kicking and hurting by words is a part of the parenting so in shcool teachers can hit with a wood stick when you do any single little move in classe you should only breath no talk no nothing….so most the community is a psycho sick…Moroccan society……not once or 6 times my parents slaped me in the street or in front of my friends not twice or 10 times my brother when no one home or my sis is home kicked me and slapped me until my skin Even my thighs and feet became blue-violet from the beating and i got sexually abused by my brother friend and i didn’t relise that cuz i was 7 years old when i was 12 like one year ago i realized what was that amd i can’t teel my parents because they didn’t believe me…..i can’t say my opinion at most things, mom keep hurt by her woeds all the time cuz im 13 so im big enough to do housework cleaning and stuff all of that and she keeps hittingme and callingme a cow becausein quarantine my thingsgot fatter becauseof staying home…i wish i ahev my free own space or my own room….so yeah they say it’s part of your arab Moroccan childhood

  • Gone through emotional abuse and sexual abuse from my classmates and teachers in high school in my childhood. And with emotionally unavailable and manipulative parents. And through their humiliation.

    And cannot form a relationship in 25 years and a loving crush of mine getting married to another person which broke my heart.

    Now going with depression, anxiety and PTSD.

    Now thinking where did my education brought me. And I should had compromised some where with someone in the past even I don’t like them much.

  • why thank you mother.

    there’s a quote i read somewhere it went like this: no parent will love a child like the child does a parent.
    And it hit me hard cuz most people glorify their mother, portraying them as if they do no harm and their love is unconditionally (that maybe true for some) but that idea is damaging for those who go thru abuse. We still try to convince ourselves that this is their way of love, that they love us they way we do to them. But how many times have we have to win this ‘unconditional’ love? How many times have they tore down our self-esteem, beat us under the prétense of ‘tough love’?
    The truth is, we never needed to be strong, we just needed to be loved and safe.
    All this glorifying, just makes it harder to recognise the abuse. There should be recognition that mothers also have this capacity for abuse and that not all mothers are loving and caring that society says they are.

  • I feel like my mother’s made up stuff about me having health complications when I was a child to maintain some control or feeling of rejection I know that sounds crazy but I’ve heard of parents making up health problem in their childern to maintain some control over them. I don’t really believe anything or alought of the things she’s said. Her need to tell other people something is wrong with when I’m in a perfectly healthy situation and a happy living my life has always been over whelming is just strange and over powering. I could be working a job and doing perfectly fine and be in a happy situation for about 8 months and my mother will go into my work and out of the blue go to my work and tell people that something is wrong with me behind my back and will get treated deffrent because of it it feel like it’s out of the need to have control over a person. I’m curious if this is something a narcissist would do? I think it’s very easy to spot a narcissist aswell but they mask them selfs so well and make you the victim in every aspect possible like their ten steps ahead calculating your every move to maintain control over you it’s very odd and I spend much of my time thinking about it and I’m sure that’s what they’d like it make them feel powerful…….I say take control of you lives and be happy don’t let hateful bitter people destroy who you are.:)

  • I had to be stuck in therapy since I was 12 because of all the problems I had with depression, hypersensitivity, and anxiety. The therapists just thought that my parents were doing everything good, and that I just needed to ignore the bullies and just be happy because it gets better…

    In reality, the bullying and neglect that my parents and step parents caused me acting out in frustration, depression, constant fear, and crying. And so did all of the school bullying. Have you ever tried ignoring a bully? Seriously? If you have to legally be in the same place to learn every day, and then someone constantly seeks you out to make you miserable, and then adults do nothing about bullying?!

    And my parents, father especially are still adultist, conceited pieces of trash who treated me like I was ugly and can do nothing right. My father wouldn’t even let me move out when I was in college.

    I’m finally away from them, but I’m hermiting because I’m ugly and have no social skills. I learned that I was unlovable my whole life. And I was just forced to do chores without ever having proper modeling because my father had extremely high expectations and anger issues.

    So, anyone who says, “children don’t matter”, FUCK YOU.

  • Being a boy who is liked until his orientation causes old friends to push him away, and a few not to care, is trauma. I’m sick of people looking for explanations of trauma. It is so obvious. There are so many causes of PTSD and in my case it was not related to sexual contact. If anything it was related to lack of sexual contact until I was 21 or 22 years old except I wanted same sex contact. Humans including I, are nothing but primitive animals. Now, I’m old and the scars are so many. The abuse and distancing as if I am corona still continues.

  • Hey there it’s all temporary know your self stay healthy go burn the work and break records
    Your problem is solved since you realised it much love and hope for all of you talk to me if u feel lonely I am also ��

  • Well it’s true I can vouch for it, I was abused by my kindergarten teacher, she beat me repeatedly everyday for a year straight I stopped caring about school even till this day, so I ignore all school subjects and make no wish to make friends till I got to high school, and while at it my parents misunderstood my trauma for incompetence and laziness and they punished me for it, and my classmates treat me like some stupid person because I don’t talk much to them and they harassment me to no end. I went to see physiatrist few times but none successfully identify the issue, so my parents took that as assurance and blames me even more, never once I tell them the truth because they will never understand, i never thought of suicide only because of my stubborn will, however I used to think I won’t live till My adulthood cuz I think I will probably die somewhere in my 18th of age, so since feeling that I don’t have long to live, it actually made my life a bit comforting cuz to me it’s like make the remaining days count, since my elementary till the end of my school years, everyday I go to sleep feel hopelessness, rarely I lash out to them because I don’t want to be like that and part of me know that I know better than become like them, but there’s some uncontrollable rage inside and hateful words between the age of 15 till 20sh, so I never once cared about learning what school taught me not because I don’t like to learn, quite the contrary I always had a strong desire to learn so I spend countless hours in library to read for myself, and slowly I start to learn how to communicate with people simply because Im willing to share my knowledge, but I never truly connect with anyone, which force me to be independent mentally, After I start working I meet a girl I feel for but quickly reject, since the rejection it actually triggered something inside me, something awoken me, I start to meditate in daily basis and listen to music more often, the inner hate start to die down, and turns my resentment for others into understanding, soon I start a long lasting self inspiration, and spend far more time reading even than before, I start to forgive and those people and not remembering them for what they inflict on me instead of what they are nice to me, my inner outburst rarely happens now but it’s getting rarer by the days then weeks then month, I turned my past into my greatest lesson and proof that one of my belief is correct, I have a will no one in my life have, and I will make this into my relentless strife for productivity

  • Angels are manipulating the masses
    Guiding them to the fall
    They like when humans fall
    People listen and turn to god when they fall
    Exactly what the angels want
    Then they are in control

  • Ooff me to My mother went out never came back My father and uncle were worse then sateen himself and they have done so much wrong to me I would not want to speak of horrifying Disgusting awful things I can’t live like a normal person because of them I hurt so much people Because of them I

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  • It totally messed me up… I felt not like my peers bcuz i knew that what happened wasnt right and i became suicidal and cut myself so much and i became so confused and on top of that there was being physically hurt and i couldn’t even speak to begin with and i was scared of everything my whole life and couldn’t speak and then being hurt and id rather not say but even some friends would do this and just i dont trust ppl and I am totally confused by life and what ppl will do to one another idk what think about ppl and im still scared of them

  • NARCISSISTS PARENTS HATE YOUR INDEPENDENCE,THEY SEE YOU SLIPPING AWAY INTO YOUR OWN WAY OF REALITY WHICH IS. A THREAT TO THIER WORLD I DONT LIKE THAT SOS..THROW IT AWAY!…..

  • My score would be 8. Thank you for the confirmation and being able to listen to this spoken out loud. I am now 51 with no children, living in another country away from all of my family. I renewed my faith in Jesus last year and found my joy, while experiencing real unconditional love with Him. I have true peace for the first time in my entire life.
    God bless you all who are here for the same reason I am. Acknowledgement.
    May you ALL find your Joy and Peace.

  • For me:

    From the age of 4-6yo: my father would spank me if any task was not done.
    6-10yo: my parents would scold me and would yell at me for almost anything.
    10-12: my school grades suddenly became the most important thing. I am constantly being grounded and yelled at for the slightest flaw in school.
    I am almost 13 now and I have attempted to run away 4 times. Any kind of disrespect or disobedience leads to punishment. The last time I heard both my parents say “I love you” was probably when I was 7. Every time I leave for school my mom says, “love you”. But my dad just says, “bye have fun”.

    I know that there are so many people that have had it much worse than me physically, but mentally, it is worse than anything I’ve ever known.

  • I have a perfect example of gas lighting.. My mom took my keys to my car and told me I was too ADD. That’s why I couldn’t find my car keys meanwhile she had them the whole time. My grandmother had signed for me a car and my mom didn’t approve of it and made up some lies about me so that my grandmother didn’t want me driving. Thanks Mom

  • How do I get past having a mother like this so I can get the most out of my life? Growing up my mother’s behavior caused fear and frustration almost every day in my. I struggled with a severe eating disorder and suicide attempts to try and cope with having her in my life. After loads of family therapy I learned she was narcissistic. Now she is almost 80 and is still crippling me. I can’t just cut her out of my life because she is recently widowed and has many struggles right now. Most of the family believes she is a sweet little old lady and would crucify me if I so much as yelled at her. I have no siblings and my father just died, so there is no one who truly understands what I’m going through. She blames me for her high BP, her obesity, mental health, etc. I wish I could write a book for my family so they can all see what I had to live with and that I’m not the bad guy here. Thank you so much for your videos!! ��

  • Wow, I feel so bad for everybody in the comment section… Ive never been abused. But i’d recommend reading the Bible to settle you down, and if your stressed. Even if your not Christian, it could still work. Please don’t give me any hate on this comment. ;-; I’m just tryna help.:b

  • All I can think of when I have seen your videos is how pissed your family must be. I KNOW my family stalks me on line I fear being honest in videos about this.

  • No contact ever again at all costs!!! Excuses will lead to more abuses and they will never change. Abusive parents get off on causing harm. It is really sick and twisted. It gives them a sense of power. They know exactly what they are doing and they don’t care. They should pay for all the harm caused and be arrested and sued.-Period-THE END

  • Well I was a little bit shy because of my parents raising style, they’d always tell me that spending too much time on street is dangerous because someone might try to kidnap me.
    I was kinda avoidant but I was pretty fine considering the situation. When I first transferred schools back in 2005 I couldn’t get along with my new classmates at first, one day I had enough and cried at the class, I was feeling so insecure.
    But after that day my classmates changed their behaviors and I became even more socially active than before. It was hard at first but after starting to getting along with my classmates I had my best years back in 2005-6.:,) we were always playing together yes there was a couple of punks in class and school but it wasn’t a big problem.
    And than I had to transfer to a dumpste… cough school, I had to move to another school.
    And I was basically on my own in there.
    I was bullied a lot of times, I always tried to not to break any of the school problems but this behavior literally tied my hands. They kept doing worse things than before as I was too afraid to talk about it. One day one of them hit my eye, they were obviously planned that, they told me that they were wanting to talk and make up for their behaviors. And that was a lie. When I run into the management in order to get rid of them they yelled at me for asking for help.
    Vice manager hold me on my ears and told me that he didn’t want to hear any problems occurring. Well at least that’s what I think he was saying, I couldn’t hear it properly because he was pulling my ears so much, I remember reading his lips with fear and loosing all faith in them. That day was one of the worst days in my life. I was feeling so hopeless so afraid and uneasy.
    I always prayed to God every day I go to school for some of the kids that I had problems with to not come. I was always worried and afraid. When I finally graduated from that school at 2009 I thought that I was finally free from the emotional turmoil that I was having.
    But since I didn’t make any friends I was always reluctant about talking to someone. I was always saying hi but I wasn’t the person who keeps conversation going. I was socially inactive.
    One of my high-school friends was always trying to talk with me. She was so cheerful and bubbly. I was finally feeling normal around her. But then classic high-school stuff happened.:D our classmates are started to mock us by saying ‘are you two in love or something? ‘ even teachers were doing this:,D
    I didn’t payed attention much but after reconsidering my feelings I realized that I really had some feelings for her. But because she was one of very people who I was comfortable to talk with I was too afraid of approaching to her. I didn’t knew her thoughts about me and I was worried about our friendship would be at risk. But I think she had feelings for me as well. I still remember that warm hug she gave me back in 2012. It was the only time I had a hug from another person. I was on the verge of tears because of happiness. I didn’t knew how much it meant for me to be in a such intimate relationship (crush or Friendship doesn’t matter)
    I think she had a huge part in my emotional growth, until meeting her I was kinda scared of keeping conversations because I was always worried that they’d might be in a disagreement with me and this would cause them to abuse me.
    But in 2014 she put emotional distance to me, I guess I had made a mistake by putting her in to friend zone and she just wanted to end our friendship which affected me more than I thought back than. I couldn’t focus on interacting with the other people. Sometimes I wonder if she knows what she had such affect in my life.
    After 2015 i was finally feeling normal but I was too distant to the people.
    Now I still have problems with talking to people. My friends, professors at the college saying that I should be more engaging because I’m just a really good person to have a conversation, they always told me that having conversations with me was like reading a book or watching a documentary. They were getting inspired by me.:) but I can’t talk with people who just doesn’t share the same interests with me.

    Well that’s it:D my life.
    Good at start, terrible at the middle and uncertain after the 2015.
    I wish I could talk about these with people in real life. I just can’t find the proper company.

  • Anyone here experience sexual abuse by……. ummmm….. someone or people…. in… their family??? Coz reading the comments…. makes me feel alone… hehe….:”)

    Hang in there….. we can do it. We’ll live happily soon.

  • I thought I was fine UNTIL lately.did all the work, did all the “education” but lately my 95 yr. old mother with dementia is triggering the living daylights out of me….. what a miserable woman she has been her entire life..she still sticks the barbs into me & now plays the ‘helpless victim’………No wonder my brother 60yrs. has been an alcoholic since he was 11yrs. old………brutal household. All we ever heard was how SHE never wanted kids, how WE ruined her career prospects, blah blah blah. Drama Queen. Parents fought like cats ‘n dogs. Hated that household & I cringe when I do the token visits. You can care about your family, BUT you don’t have to like them.

  • This video brought tears to my eyes Lisa. Thank you for your compassion and understanding. Growing up I was told from conception I was born into sin. My Mother was there for me whenever I needed anything but emotionally not at all. She was extremely anxious person and due to some health issue I had she was always fearful of losing me. She smother Mothered me. My Dad was a good provider but a workaholic, perfectionist, cold, controlling, a covert narcissist and extremely religious. People would see his outgoing friendly personality and adore him. I was always told by others what a great Dad I had. My Dad would say some cruel things to me but my Mom would always tell me “Oh he didn’t mean that the way it sounded. Your Dad does love you”. I thought I was going crazy because there was no one I could talk to about this throughout my childhood so I always thought there was something wrong with me. At my Dad’s Memorial last year everyone who spoke made my Dad out to be this saint. Other than close friends and my therapist I still have no one in my family to talk to about this stuff. I have worked through a lot of codependency issues but since my Dad’s passing all this painful stuff is coming up again.

  • and dont b in denial SHE KNEW EXACTLY WAT SHE WAS DPING dont let her keep hoovering u as an adult, look at you makin excuses for her bullying A CHILD…. tiger dont change their stripes, betta beware

  • She.. Physical abuse… slapping, hitting…..

    Me.. what about using an belt and slippers for that ��

    …. Me… What!! She said apologize!!! They think it’s their right and my birth right to beaten by them.. ��

  • When ever I did something bad my mom would slap me as a kid. I’ve kinda pushed those thoughts away and I forgotten a good majority of them. But what I will never forget is when my dad called me fat and said, “do you want to end up like you sister?” when I was 5 or 6, all because I was eating a little too much. My mom told me to stop eating past a certain time at night because my dad didnt like it. This later developed into an eating disorder that I still suffer from. Thanks dad

  • It is beyond words how hard life is and all the little ways being unsafe as a kid shows in day to day life as a adult. My score is 8. I guess the good news is I don’t hope to live long I never felt a future is something for a person like me.

  • I’m a minor so I still live with my parents, my father fights with my mom and verbally abuses me, he brings me down every time. I’m planning on getting a job when I’ll be 16 and moving out as soon as I can.

    Side note: I’m so happy that I found this channel. I can find so many things I can relate to, in the comment section and in each video!

  • I know this will get lost in the comments and I need to get this off my chest. Even though I am commenting on a public YouTube video, I ironically don’t think anyone will really read this due to it’s sheer length. So here goes nothing. My father is a narcissist. Always has been one. My mother has been an alcoholic for nearly 5 years now, presumably because of my father, who has also been cheating on her for the past 7 years. To try and improve her addiction, my mom decided to get a job after being out of the work force for a long time to raise my brother and I. It worked for sometime to help her to stop drinking…but things went to shit once I graduated from high school. He has moved out to a bachelor pad with another woman and sent my mom divorce papers. He is trying to get everything he can out of the divorce, even with it being a 50/50 state. He leisurely spends several grand on whatever he feels like. Trips to go see women, buy them jewelry and lingerie, stay in a 5 star hotel, get a limo to be driven around in, furnish his new bachelor pad with outrageously priced things. Meanwhile, this is still half of what my mom will be getting out of the divorce. So my mom is still paying for my dad to do this sort of stuff. His argument? This marriage has been dead to him for a long time and he deserves all the money he is spending. But I’m just a kid, what do I know about quote on quote “adult affairs.” Maybe it’s perfectly normal for that sort of behavior and I am just brainwashed to view relations a certain way. So I’ll just still to the kid relations. He openly admitted that he failed as a parent. Nonetheless, that doesn’t stop him from calling me a disappointment. Why he calls me that? Because I am going to a community college rather than a school such as Stanford or MIT, which he pushed on me every moment he could. Because I have struggled with depression to the point of suicide attempts all throughout highschool and he didn’t understand because I just needed to “snap out of it.” Because I had become involved in having online friendships once I was bullied and pushed out of friend groups. Because I had given up on sports as I no longer found them fun but I should do them anyways so my resume looks better. I want to believe that he was doing what he did with good intentions, to push me to be my best self, but to me it just seems like he was trying to mold me into something I wasn’t. He wanted a different child, as he has proclaimed himself, yet he was stuck with me. A no good depressed teenager who can’t do anything right. And you know what I said in response to that? Fuck you and all your standards. I can do whatever I want and become whatever I want and I am going to be happy doing it. Rather than throw myself a pity party and beg for sympathy, I am going to push through all the shit he has dragged me through and come out a better person. Er well…that’s what I would like to think. But it’s not quite as easy as that. I DO depend on the sympathy and love from others. I find myself crying out about all the misfortunes that have fallen across my lap and having anyone acknowledge how crappy my life has been. It never helps though. I never feel any better and if anything I feel worse. So why do I keep feeling this urge to spread my story and get the pity of anyone that can hear me out? Is it perhaps this need of acceptance that I am lacking as a child of a narcissist parent? Or is it something entirely different? Who knows at this point. All I know is that I have a lot of psychological damage done and no clue where to start. I guess part of him has gotten to me though, I believe that my own psychological damage is just another thing wrong with me, another flaw, another crack. I have chosen to try and ignore it as I can only grasp at straws in attempts to patch up the damage. I have spent a few years with a therapist, who I was then forbidden to see as she had tried to tell my dad several times that he was wrong in hopes of helping me. I have been on countless medications to alleviate symptoms. I have talked it over with counselors at school, same situation as the therapist. I got a new therapist who I saw only twice as my dad decided it was too expensive for something that did nothing. Long story short, it’s been hammered into me that I am the soul cause of my problems and I believe that to be about 75% accurate. Why does any of it matter though? Can’t I just become the person I want and say screw what anyone else thinks? Put all this behind me and start over becoming the person I want…I wish it was that easy, but I don’t even know what a good person would look like. Sure I’ve seen enough movies and such to know who the protagonist is, but in the end it doesn’t really help. People say that you should try and become the person you admire and once you achieve that, become a person that they would admire. Sounds great and all, but who am I supposed to admire? The only people that strike a cord with me are people that are living off of doing what I love to do(gaming). But that is considered a taboo and causes you to become a social outcast. Not to mention the odds of actually making a profit off of sitting around gaming. It feels like my life has shattered, or really it was never together. And now that I have been thrown into the adult world I have no clue what to do with myself and I have no sense of self to cling to other than knowing what I like. It makes me angry just thinking that I could allow myself to become so unprepared for life. And so, like any angry teenager, I look for a scape goat, my dad and his narcissist traits. But in trying to pin everything on my dad (and my mom too in some regards) am I not just hiding from the harsh reality of life? Tough shit, life isn’t fair, grow a pair and go build your own path, right? I seek some sort of validity to show me what is right and what is wrong but I can’t even seem to make up my own mind. I read up on all sort of issues I face and consider both sides but I find myself agreeing with both sides. Everything is both wrong and right so how am I supposed to know what I stand for? Nothing is ever as it seems and I am left with no black and white area just a maze of grey to try and navigate my way through. Unlike the other kids who seem to have some sort of map, I am left with just trying to force my way through through trial and error. I can’t help but feel like I am falling behind in this imaginary race. But anyways…I think that’s enough rant for a lifetime. Maybe I should do this more often though, but in like a private diary or some crap.

  • The key is if your bullid in school then you take the mater to the teacher if thay don’t help you for some reason then you get a fue friend who were also bullied get the bully when he is alone and bet him up trust me revenge feels good

  • My mom does that. She once taunted me the day after surgery she had taunted me to the breaking point of a meltdown saying I was not in pain and Im just making it up.

  • They wanted me to ignore myself and respect them,really?They wanted me to support them during their old age even if they didn’t loved and cared for me when I was young.

  • Im antisocial i dont like big gatherings unles im with ppl i know i only pitty my kids i worry so much about them this behaviour can b delt with im healed i used to do things im bipolar with emotions but i try not to let them get in the way i have a wonderful husband i think messed up tho i waz verbaly abusive emotionaly abused alot inused to b suicidal but now im terified of dyeing im into jesus i just feel alot of ppl dont like being around me so i stay home alot i feel like ppl talk about me or stare to much i get angry sometimes im like why do u have to stare i get anxeity n angry in public sometimes so i stay home with my husband of almost 5 years im still dealing with stress n constant thinking

  • When no one else was around my mother would neg and harrass me until I cried or talked back then stand above me and smirk to herself before punishing me for “being too violent”. If my dad ever found out she would force me into my room, then cry to him about how “she tried to help me, but I suddenly got violent and started to hurt her”. If I to tell her about my issues in school she would insist others bullying me was me being oversensitive. At times she would talk about extremely personal, sometimes made up events from my life to our customers or guests and if I confronted her or denied it she would accuse me of lying due to embarrassment (“cue, it’s okay to be embarassed honey, i love you anyway) and then hurt me when no one else was around. Once everyone got back she would smile and say I got a tantrum and lament to them about having such an unruly child.
    When I had to get medical aid, both for physical and psychological issues in my teens and asked for her permission she refused to let me get help or a diagnosis because she “didn’t want a retarded child”.
    Naturally I started bonding more with my dad due to this, but she decided to get in the way of that too and accused dad of loving me more than her. I was forbidden to attend my own graduation party because “I should have gotten myself a driver’s license like Louise’s child if I cared so much”.
    I feel it’s pretty damn strange that the only times in my childhood that I remember having fun, playing games, spending time or bonding with my other family members was the times mom wasn’t around. Each day she was there all we would do was clean the house or sit and eat in silence while she watched TV. I only realized how wrong that was when I against all odds got to stay over at a friend’s house in highschool and saw how close his family was and then later when I turned 18 and it turned out my grandparents had conspired in secret, saving up money and waiting for the day I got independent, to move me to a better home. I ended up livi g with my grandpa’s sister for a year, they were like the family I never had and the amount of personal development I went through there was just amazing.
    I still have long ways to go, but for the first time I’m living without my depression, I’m able to make my own decisions and I can actually look myself in the mirror and say “I’m proud of myself”. I do however worry for the rest of my family that is stuck there

  • It’s not often that my parents snap. It’s only ever when I don’t study, practice or even not interacting with them for a day. But when they do…it’s not pretty. I don’t have any physical scars, but it’s been going on for 5 years and I really don’t know what to do. I’m only 14. It started when I was 7. I used to think abuse was normal until I got around to making friends. Now I’m trying to cope by binging the internet and my grades are dropping. Help. I really don’t know what to do. The police wouldn’t believe me anyway.

  • I had 9 aces my brother had 10 aces the only one I never went through was sexual abuse but I know my brother was sexually assaulted as a kid it can be adverse knowing that happened to a loved one on-top of me going through aces at home that the aces don’t talk about that me and my sibling went through was being bullied alot at school being bullied at school is often just as bad as being abused at home we had to deal with both at home and at school there alot of influences on poor health and well being this is a start but there’s many more childhood adversities that it should talk about

  • The problem is that the deviants all hold power positions and manipulate all of the gullible people around them and raise the children in an anti-Godly home, so then these abuse cycles just continue and continue throughout the generations. This world needs God!

  • I push everyone away that I love and care about. I know they still love me even though I’m very hard to love�� I wish I was a better person for them��

  • “children who are bullied by their peers were more likely to experience anxiety or depression as an adult” yeah… not that adults really care when you’re a kid… especially if you have school administration claiming you make yourself a victim as a child, thus invalidating the fact that you have practically the whole school messing with you

  • Thanks for making this video. I have felt this way my hole life. I’m Adopted into a How consistent family both parents alcoholics who didn’t love each other I don’t think they knew how to love each other. I’m left with a bunch of questions and the only oneStill alive is my adopted mother and we don’t see Ida high at all. My sister who is mentally challenged got all the attention and I got all the neglect until she was about 10 and then neglect was evenly distributed. It’s very hard being adopted and coming from a situation like this because I’m all by myself feels like I’m trapped it. It is almost ruined my life and I am glad I found your videos I’ve started a recovery program about a year and a half ago to try and make life better for myself. There’s just so much drama from my childhood that it seems impossible sometimes. Anyways thank you for the information that you’re sharing it’s really helps to boost my self-confidence and self-esteem.Much love and respect bye for now

  • I am so happy, proud, and fulfilled, by the simple act of being a good mother to my two children. I suffer extreme chronic illness, and as a result, severe agoraphobia. My kids know I’m disabled, but they don’t treat me like I am. I have never unloaded my baggage on them, they rarely see me cry; and I thank god for people like you, who help others to know they’re not at fault. My own mother, and my husband, were horrifically abused by narcissistic mothers, so I’m not a stranger to the effects. Much love.

  • Dr. Vincent Felitti’s name came up in the early chapters of ‘The Deepest Well’: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity’, written by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, Surgeon General of California. This book is a tremendous resource for understanding the science behind ACE, mentioned repeatedly by Dr. Felitti, which stands for “adverse childhood experience”. The book offers hope for treatments for not just the young that are suffering with high ACE scores but also adults who have had childhood traumas and now suffering from the health effects decades later. Go to the library and read this book, or buy a copy.and read. Learn the how childhood traumas and adversities effect the emotional and biologic health of children and on those same children who later age into adulthood. the best thing about the book is it offers hope and treatments that can help in healing those suffering from early childhood traumas and adverse experiences.

  • I have lots of these i wont find this helpful my parents and family will not care i get shamed called names slapped i just want to end my life so guys pls dont end like me only i deserve to die

  • My Mom did all this and more. She alienated my Father from age 6 months to 13. My Father is a kind loving man and she didn’t want me to have that happiness. I was in a few foster homes just to endure more abuse. My Mother was horribly abusive to me in every way possible. She beat, starved, put me down, depended on me, and shamed me day and night. I would sneak out of the house starting at age 3 & ask neighbors for food and water. I witnessed my mom and step-dad fighting with weapons. My step-dad was an alchoholic. He and my 10 year old Brother was shot by my moms brother and my brother was killed and I witnessed this at age 7. She played me and my other brother against one another. I had to look and act perfect on the outside. I was around men who molested me before age 5, but I only remember age 5 and up. I didn’t know my real first and last name until I was 13. I witnessed my step dad stomping my puppies and abusing other animals. I am age 50 and still hurt like it all happened yesterday. I have tried and just haven’t been able to get over it. What can I do to change?

  • my parents are mentally and little phiscaly abuisive my parents always called me a pig, fat, useless and have said things like “youre going to be nothing in life” its upsetting and whenever they get mad they slap me or hit me even one time i had a headache and i told my mom and she gave me a pill and water and she told me to swallow the pill i cant swallow pills so i just told my mom it isnt a huge deal, my mom then decided to grab my face and push the water in my mouth so i cna swallow the pill i was chocking. i will never forget that day idk if its a big deal but it feels wrong to me

  • Omg im crying hearing all u are saying because i understand what you are saying and all is happening to me now and now how to say to my parents that they are narcissits and i am be abused at 29 and afrid thet will do that to my son. Im right sepperted from my husband due to them making me see different and they dont let me live my life and i always have to what they say and want. Im goin so far now is trying to join the army to get away from them and take my son witj me alone but they are trying to have say as well which its a dream of mine to do. I dont know but i realy need help.

  • I’m starting to think that since I look like my father that’s why my mother mistreats me. She deals with death with anger and every other day she talks about how I act just like my father and how I look exactly like my father if he was a girl so I’m starting to believe that may be the reason because before he died she still wasn’t the greatest but she was doing her best and was nice to at least me but ever since he died it’s like she changed but for the worst

  • Ah the time where my mother was abused by my dad. And his family (especially my grandma). And got divorced by my dad and abandoned my mom. 7 year old me. My 3 year old brother. And my 1 year old sister. And my mom would throw tantrums at me for little things (like that one time I was talking about minecraft and my mom suddenly yelled DETECTIVE AMAZING I’M A GIRL I DON’T LIKE THINGS LIKE MINECRAFT AND THOSE THINGS YOU LIKE). Which made me never share stuff with my classmates and and of course my mom. While my dad married a girl that learned how to walk when he got his driver’s license. And then impregnated her without telling me a thing. Oh and I remember getting bullied by older kids getting beaten up making me look stupid doing mean pranks one me and etc. And much more stuff. So yeah as result I’m a weeb that only watches anime and play games. Never talk to my family (I’ve blocked my dad countless of times)

  • Him, I’m 11, and my parent are narcs, in different fields if that makes any sense. My dad has no empathy or sympathy, and expects me to follow his every rule, and he has a problem with my depression, and anxiety. say when I’m not doing very good in math, he’ll say things like “you just never learn” “you’re not retarded, you should be smarter”, and then he’ll make me feel better the next day by saying I’m so much smarter than everyone else, and then the day after, bring me back down. my mom on the other hand, likes to blame me for things; lets take a few months ago, when my dog got run over my a truck. She said it was my fault.
    I don’t really know point in writing this, like i have more narc family, but whatever I guess.

  • I’m watching this today because I’ve been aware and ACTIVELY working on healing from/overcoming childhood trauma. My ACE score is 7. There have been pockets of time where I feel strong and can live a “normal” life, but without fail I fall into a valley. It is discouraging to struggle with the same issues after YEARS of working on yourself. I feel like I’m fooling myself to think/hope/try to be something other than a childhood trauma survivor. Like, in the end, I feel like I can’t do it on my own yet there is no one to carry me when I’m weak…as usual.

  • As a child I was bullied for years, already showing signs of depression at 10. (Tw) at 13 I was suicidal and tried to kill myself. I still have anxiety but I’ve been ok for 3 years (I’m 17) and only been getting better (minor setbacks when some stuff happened but I always bounced back)

  • My possibly narc granddad treated my mother like a piece of garbage until she decided to move out when she turned 18. She didn’t even know about npd and still doesn’t but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to live in that environment her whole life. I guess that’s kinda good but she than attracted my narc father and started a new life in which she and I, their child, would be getting abused. But I will do it right and also not choose a narcissist partner since I’m lucky to have the knowledge now providedby many many people online. Thank you!

  • My asian parents: treats me well*, *dose’nt spoil me*, *let’s me explore

    Me now: independent*, *accepts what i have*, *loves my parents a lot

    Stop talking like having asian parents are bad they only care about you more

  • I wrote a novel about a young man who faces emotional (and some physical) abuse. He strives to find self-worth. He faces hardship, makes hard decisions, and reshapes himself to become a loving adult. WHEN THE COIN IS IN THE AIR is getting good reviews, check Amazon-I hope it helps. John Young

  • Sexual abuse sadly my uncle when I was 6 just thinking about it hurts, physical abuse I was thrown out my window 1st story I was 5, finally worst is mental being told I was a nobody a mistake getting yelled at that was how I got in my first fight my dad called me a mistake and I said Ik I am what’s your excuse and he punched me so I ended up beating his ass I’m 14 now I was 5 and a half when it first started

  • This is kinda random but, at my highschool I’m a freshman and they have this thing called Link crew groups which are meant to help freshmen adjust, I know because I did something like this at my old middle school for the incomib7th graders. Anyway, I realized that a person who used to bully me is in my group, I happened alonvtime ago back in 1st grade in fact, but they have always been one of those type of people who gossip and spread rumors…

  • Wow I’m a 19 year old currently going through an extreme scenario of narcissistic parents and I didn’t even know that was a thing till just now. It’s even worse because my whole family is either a narcissistic or too abused by it to do anything, I’m looking for help and trying to recover from this and I appreciate this video very much so.

  • Ever who came up with this study left out some things.

    If a person has a mental illness growing up.

    Dealing with bullieing at school,from stranger’s or family,or spouse family out side of the home.

    Mental abuse from spouse an there kids or both.

    Need to add this to it. Didn’t think of everything.

  • Lisa every time you say “its not your fault,” in videos, it makes me cry like I was never loved at all. Ive heard that victems of rape for example insist on it being thier fault, just bc its too painful to think that you were innocent and the world was cruel, it basically makes them feel more victemized and helpless, whereas if they think they deserved it in some way, they had some control in the situation. Idk if its the same effect but when u say that its like the biggest release of pain when i cry, but it seems like an endless cavern of pain. Is there a point where the pain starts to reduce? To process my childhood has been and will be a very long process I know, but god please let it get better…
    My parents guilted me when I cried, it was the opposite of what you went through, mine saw my happiness as a direct reflection of how good of parents they were, so to protect them i couldnt be upset about anything or they were bad parents and somehow they made that my responsibility…

  • Me being forced to kill a medium spider

    Me:cri cri cri bc I’m scared of spiders

    Everyone else that’s in the bathroom

    KiLl It

    Mom comes in

    kill it

  • I have basically heard of all of them, I have suffered majority, like Physical, Verbal, Neglect, Shaming and other things it is not great, if you are suffering from anything please call somebody, or talk to somebody about it you need to get help wether that is mentally or physically get help you are needed in this world ❤️

  • Yeah it’s really odd some peoples overwhelming need to make their kids not only look misrable but feel misrable aswell….I think some people use the term spotlighters a fantastic term being your off in a dark corner fighting somewhere with your head some where and they can go onto to look like this amazing person of some kind of course with out revealing you real self.

  • I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother. I was suspecting for a long time that my mother has mental problems and now I finally know that there is a diagnose for this. The sad part is that my father is her puppet and will always take her side. I shut any contact with them, because I am at the point where I feel I cannot keep it together anymore.

  • All the above experienced. My mother now is 89 years old with advanced dementia…it has been a blessing..she no longer knows who I am and my 56 year brother is completely Co dependant to her…it’s very sad…I needed to detach emotionally….thank you for your loving service…blessings and love xxx

  • True when covid 19 came and we had to stay at home. It was the worst and my anxiety and other things became worst but I’m getting better I think and whatever your going through it’ll get better.

  • After reading this thread it sounds like the narcissistic mother effects some sons in a more Freudian manner but the effects on a child are as diverse as stars in the universe. I would like to mention more about triangulation. The outcast/black sheep/bad seed/unloved child can be abused both physically and psychologically. The narcissistic mother may use them as a tool to have her needs met as Lisa mentioned ie: the pageant mom, or even Munchhausen. The mom can use the child as a pawn to control a spouse not caring about the effect on the child such as in parental alienation and also by projecting her own anger on that child. This manifests in many different ways as Lisa touched on. Remember the mother is the center of her universe, not the child. The child, esp the triangulated child, may be viewed as standing in the mother’s way of achieving her goals or happiness. The child will have a low-self esteem or no sense of self at all esp the neglected child. The narcissistic mother who neglects the child denies the very fundamentals of what makes a him/her feel secure and loved. (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs) a classic example would be the mother who would rather sleep-in than get her child fed, bathed and ready for school (her needs come first) In extreme cases of neglect there could be no structure in the child’s life at all ie: bedtime, meal time, bath time. The child may have no clean clothing to wear or clean surroundings to live in which would add to their low-self esteem. This child may be bullied or even bully a safe target. Professional help is needed for these children as early intervention is paramount. Teachers, Health Care Professionals, Social Work, please do your homework and know the signs and symptoms of this extremely at risk child. (*Narcissism is NOT always acting alone, it can be coupled with other personality disorders such as the *Borderline Personality Disorder, *Histrionic, *Passive Aggressive, *Passive Dependent *Sociopathy etc etc etc)

  • I’m trying to explain to my dad that he was, in fact, an abusive parent. He doesn’t see it and it’s hard to get people to realize that the ‘strict parenting’ was actually causing me phycological damage. I see it in my friends as well, just because they don’t hit you doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting you.

  • My childhood wasn’t the worst but wasn’t the best either. I still think my constant low level of confidence and self-esteem comes from the minor trauma I had during my childhood times.

  • Took me till I was 45, but I’ve spent 3 weeks alone with my cat. It’s feels good, I’ve been working on loving myself for years (15)
    and it works. It just took an extremely long time. (Amazingly) Now I’m off to find someone I belong with, while I still can. Wish me luck, and I wish you luck.

  • Great video! I’m just now realizing my mom is a narcissistic personality, she doesn’t have all the traits but damn close…lol..i realized i need to get away from her and my dad… it’s not ok for a 35 year old man to live with parents that still look at me as if im 16…. I’m just now waking up to fact that this IS going on!! And that my mom does have issues… your very good looking woman by the way ; )

  • I’m a survivor of abuse. My natural voice is deep as hell and I’m a petite woman. A fake a higher pitched voice to avoid mean comments.

  • You have described my mother and my father was also controlling but my mother made him out to be a lot scarier than he was which was sad. Unfortunately I went on to marry an extreme narc that my children and I fled from when he was hospitalised with extreme mania, it was the only way we could get away they will see you dead before they see you leave. This has been a very good segment thank you

  • There is no perfect life, perfect job, no perfect childhood, perfect marriage, and no perfect set of people who will always do what we expect them to do.

    What we have is a perfect God Who is able to lead us through this imperfect life with unfailing strength, incomparable wisdom and infinite love.

  • Awesome perspectives! I just finished up a Parenting Series on my channel that I hope inspires & encourages parents to dominate parenting by focusing on a child’s mental wellness, just like this video has. I hope our videos encourage parents to be proactive!

  • I wouldn’t exactly say I was bullied, but I was picked on in Elementary. That alone explains why I’m socially awkward and tend to seek out one person I can ask questions and become friends with in new environments until I feel more comfortable asking other people

  • I was touched when I was 9 and now 25.

    I have so many mental issues

    Depression
    Anxiety
    Suicidal thoughts
    Anger issues
    Overly emotional
    And was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder at 21 along with cutting my whole body with a knife.

    I dont think I will ever be normal.
    I cant form relationships with anyone it’s like I dont know how.
    I keep pushing everyone away but want people to stay.

    Has anyone went through this and made it out ok?

  • You know this entire video gave me chills. Im actually glad to be alive right now after attempting to take my own life 5 years ago. My own mother found my letter. Still slowly getting through every day slowly. You can too.

  • My brother who was 18 committed suicide when I was 7. I am 22 now and I feel like my childhood was not how it was supposed to be. Sometimes I feel like I am still that 7 year old wondering why and confused �� btw I love & appreciate this channel ������

  • what can be done about it? If anything can’t be done. Because im tired of living like this. This has got to end. one way or another.

  • This happened to me and I didn’t even realize it until a few years ago. My friends used to ask me if it bothered me that my parents loved my sister more. I just brushed it off but in my mind I knew this was the truth. I was adopted and my sister came along by surprise 9 years later. When I was 18 my mom got my sister to join her and call me names to the point that I got married just to get out. To this day, they favor her and her children. They were jealous when I bought a house that costs more than theirs. They wouldn’t let me talk about it at their house. I became a success in my field and they covertly put me down. My sisters kids are into an activity and my parents get mad if I don’t go to every activity of theirs. My sister can still do no wrong. I have married 2 narcissist and now I see why.

  • My bullies and my caretaker treat me better than my mom they are to busy to give me even I minute of attention
    And for that I never ate or used anything they gave me they just want to command me things I don’t know

  • I suffered
    body shaming and telling me to go die and cut myself,they always swear at me and call me names and they always forget about it because they were drunk
    -my dad tried to rape me, I think. He pushed me onto the floor and nearly took my clothes of but I started kicking and my mother heard and walked in and took him away. I dont know if that is sexual abuse but he sometimes touches me in ways I dont like and I’m scared that he wants to do it to me. I fear my parents and I dont feel safe.
    -The only time I see my parents are when they are drunk or back from a night out, that’s when it all happens and they scream and shout at me
    They always hit me and hurt me, drag me on the floor, hit me,push me and do way more when they are drunk but they don’t care that I fear them
    I dont know what to do because they can be nice at times than something happens and they go mad and hurt me so much.
    I’m scared of my own parents but I dont know if that’s normal or not.

  • Mom used to say I had a swimmers body nice long legs and broad shoulders, she will also comments about my best friends hair and help beautiful it was. I realized it was weird when I complemented my best friend on how pretty her hair was in a way that made her look at me like I was weird.My dad taught me that to hit someone on the shoulder was a sign of affection and when I would do that to other people they would look at me like oh what the hell! I tried to do it as hard as I could so he would be proud of me and not once did he say stop I was just doing what he taught me and I had to let the world teach me that was wrong, boy did I feel stupid LOL

  • My household was so abusive that even though I was raped when I was a teenager, the pain of having to endure my parents physical, mental, and emotional abuse everyday felt worse! It felt like everyday was a struggle to survive. Constant survival mode for decades! At least with the rapist I was able to survive the short incident and I never saw them again. But in that household it felt like a prison with no way out! I am now 37 and only just managed to free myself completely from them since beginning of 2016! Which felt like death because I was faced with two options: continue living in a cage feeling like someone’s pet, or face possible death by starvation and homelessness. I chose to face death and yet I survived! Much to their “surprise”. I am now on a path of recovery. I have PTSD, crazy anxiety, and sometimes I don’t even know if I will ever recover and get out of survival mode, but now I at least have hope. So thank you for this video!

  • I hate how a child can get beaten, and mentally abused repeatedly, grow up with no support whatsoever. And when that child grows up with sociopathy and kills people, they get even more hurt while the original abuser becomes unharmed

  • You claim to understand the human mind, yet you cannot figure out why I wear a diaper. You people are all the same, ignorant and textbook thinkers. You spew what you are told to spew to the public, and keep everyone stupid.

  • I have followed Dr. Amen since he was first on PBS, and I have since found him on You Tube. Thank God, I did, because it may save my 33 year-old son’s life. I am in the middle of trying to fight for his life, as I did for my own, but have to get the pieces of the puzzle together. In the meantime, until I can gather my thoughts, THANK YOU for your comments on meningitis and mold. I think this is the key! ��

  • I am going through healing, and I am happy I realize this at 17 years of age, but everything is so confusing but yet now clear, I was completely mind washed and thought that parents doing this was normal, when now I realize everything that they do is not right, but even accepting the fact that they are narcissitic makes me feel so guilty, when I know I shouldn’t because they ARE narcisitic and now my sister who is 21 is exactly the same she is like a third narcasitic parent, she has schitzophrenia, she threatens me, and it’s so difficult, I want to get into college far away so I’m trying to focus on scholarships, but it is so hard, I feel so used and lied to, I experienced every single one of your key points, every single one!!!!!!!! IT HURTS TO BELIEVE THAT THEY COULD BE THIS WAY TO THEIR OWN CHILDREN WHY!!!!!!????? I feel very stressed, can you please make a video specifically about not feeling guilty Please <3 literally whenever I even try to explain it to my sister she denies it completely and tell me that I am the narcisitic one, when literally they say, do, treat me and screwed me with so much, hit me and then told me it never happened?! I'm crying but I am happy that I found you and now understand this a bit more every day.

  • I have never managed to get over my unwanted childhood experiences even though I’ve made great effort to. It never really goes away does it? This video made a lot of sense to me and has helped me understand some of the effects it has on you and anyone else going through the same thing. Hope it’s done the same for a lot of people ��

  • Amazing that the birds outside behind you were fluttering around when you used birds as an example when talking about parents caring for their children.

  • You said something that really fit my past life. A parent “becoming a parasite”. Never thought of it that way, but that is what my mother was. She used guilt to manage her daughters.

  • Child abuse leads to CPTSD…COMPLEX PTSD…not PTSD. Mostly CPTSD is very different to PTSD. It actually changes your brains wiring, leaves you without a sense of Self, changes your amygdala and hypocampus, etc. ipIt’s much, much more damaging than PTSD which is bad enough.

  • How does one become NPD? Is this a choice, or is it as basic as my own mental health issues, some of which are just brain wiring gone bad? I wonder if they have the ability to choose.

  • learned helplessness is actually wen they learn to lie in order to play ppl into doin wateva sundry shit they want done for them by others AND USUALLY THEY KNO VERY WELL ITS WRONG TO PLAY DUMB but they dont care

  • When I was a kid the daycare that I was molested and beat by the man that took us to the dental service in his van he hurt a lot of children I suffered and still suffer now!! No child should be hurt like I was at 46 I still have trauma come back into my head even after therapy for many years

  • My childhood was not that good cuz I was getting bullied and people where racist to me for more then 6years:( but ur video’s makes me always comfy and relaxed so I won’t get a mental breakdown

  • Surprisingly I got therapist from someone i didn’t expect. She made me cried a lot and I hate that, because I recently find myself to feel uncomfortable with sympathy, feels like some people looked at me like I’m a weak or weird person. She’s not even a professional therapist…I mean someone with official licence. It doesn’t mean I’m being sceptisism towards her. I just…got shocked.
    Maybe also because I know she’s not angry with my uncertain and unforgivable behavior. Despite what I did, she still care even though she’s dealing with a crazy person like me. And maybe, she doesn’t hate me. I recently realise that I shouldn’t care if stranger hates me. but if for example it feels like my families begin to hate me, well…I have feelings myself…so, I’d rather ignore or keep my distance away so that I won’t have the same hatred, I’ll focus myself to my hobby. But it’s getting complicated, I don’t feel relax in my parent’s house just to avoid some uncomfortable situation. I myself doesn’t like to be like this, but This feeling is not a lie.

  • Just finding out through a series of educating myself that I am the son of a narcissist narcissistic mother, she has me here taking care of her an elderly age cuz she’s afraid of falling and if I loved her I would be here for her,
    Now she’s got me open bottles of water cuz your arthritis hurts too much

  • Im 24 and I’m still struggling from my childhood. My dad had bipolar and he was abusive, narcissistic and very controlling. I’m starting to work on myself now but it has taken me a long time to realize​ this, sadly.

  • In my childhood, it was beatings daily for no reason. Not allowed friends in my teens, not allowed to date. “if a man wants you,he will have to come here to my house and find you” was what she would say. Well guess what, despite her hatefulness, means, abuse all those years, my man didn’t find me, 29 years later, 2 kids and grandchildren. At 50, I’ve been no contact for a year. Best thing i ever did.

  • Whenever I expressed my feelings to my mother it always went back to her. If I was sad about something she wouldn’t allow me to have my own feelings. My feelings constantly were grouped into my mothers feelings. If that makes sense. I wasn’t allowed to be an individual with my own feelings. I wasn’t allowed to disagree without it escalating into receiving emotional neglect in the end. Example: she would drive away angirly in a state of rage or tell me that I should run away from home.

    I

  • If it weren’t for the love and grace of God saving me from complete destruction I would be one of those statistics/percentages. My relationship with him is the only reason why I’m not an alcoholic. Drug addict, 400 or 80lbs. The more broken you are, the more his love shines through. I’m no more special or worthy of love than you. If you haven’t before I encourage you to ask Jesus to come into your heart and save you from the evil that’s trying to steal, kill and destroy you from the inside out. Only he can heal you from your pain. God bless����

  • Do you see all comments? This is hurrendous. We need to give ourselves credit for being resilient and becoming empathic instead of becoming a narc. My 2 sibling are covert narcs. My parents both narcs. I can identify with you completely. You are a angel sent from heaven to help us. I feel I have no support system in n my family. That why I clung on to boyfriends too long and loved too much. God bless you.

  • This is kinda random but, at my highschool I’m a freshman and they have this thing called Link crew groups which are meant to help freshmen adjust, I know because I did something like this at my old middle school for the incomib7th graders. Anyway, I realized that a person who used to bully me is in my group, I happened alonvtime ago back in 1st grade in fact, but they have always been one of those type of people who gossip and spread rumors…

  • It’s not a disorder. It’s a different reality. Truth is the ones who weren’t abused as a kid could never understand how it felt. We live in 2 completely different worlds. And it’s not all the same. Its a spectrum of abuse. From incest, rape, covert incest, emotional incest, verbal abuse, physical, psychological, neglect..etc. People will tell you have a disorder when it’s not true. A disorder is relative to what you’re comparing it too. Truth is we have seen a dark place and have lived to tell about it, but truth is social media and the world can’t accept it. They put us on medication, label us handicapped, mental, too stupid.

  • Was born a middle child, I don’t have happy memories playing with my siblings, I was constantly bullied. My parents maltreated me as well. No one in my family really liked me, they all humiliated me even infront of other people. Until now I never see them sincere about me, I am also happier when I am away from them.

  • 9/10; 10/10 if you accept a technicality. Since I am a rampaging alcoholic and pretty much done with life, at 40, I guess I will prove the study correct. Oh well. I tried. Survivors gotta die sometime.

  • Try all 6! Try being a good person after all 6! And no one gives a shit! And the perpetrators are the people that are leaders and run this sick world! But the good people are left and treated like shit in this sick world!

  • I don’t remember nothing about my childhood, only know I was shy and didn’t have any friends. Didn’t make me sad or anything, I guessed I like being alone. Saved me from Elementary school drama, even though there was none��

  • My mom calls me names like usless and fat and Everytime I talk to her about this she says “I’ve come thru worst” like just bcs you went thru it doesn’t mean I have to go thru it to

  • My mom was a control freak. Didnt let me have friends, a boyfriend, or any relationship outside of family. She didn’t like it when i hugged anyone either. She kept me and my sisters on lockdown all the time in the house. She used us as her personal slaves to clean and take care of everything. She beat us when she wasn’t happy. She would take a belt and repeatedly hit me, i never cried or anything like my sisters did. She looked so confused when i just wouldn’t cry. She also controlled us using religion. Saying God told her this and that and God won’t be happy with us being disobedient to our mother. She tore me down verbally, threatened to kill me and my dad 3 times. I was deathly afraid of her. I ran away at 14. Very horrible horrible upbringing. But I am almost 100% healed of it and I’m only 19. I’m a strong person. I seek enlightenment and I strive constantly to be the best person I could be. I use my faith in God to help as well. He has helped heal me. I had issues getting along with friends and romantic relationships cuz I didn’t know how to have any due to how I was raised. I started displaying narcissistic traits as well. But I also beat that and I am truly an empath. Now I’m starting to live better but I still cant help but feel empty cuz I have no mother, or some of my sister’s in my life. I’m getting through. Holidays are tough. But I will make it through. Always.

  • This was a great video. I feel safe in my marriage to a wonderful person, to revisit my childhood many times. I did not have children because I felt as though I could not be a good mother. Also with a threat of my mother I did not want her around any child of mine. Because of the fact that she was so abusive mentally and physically. I feel as though that I have done a great deed to keep another child safe from narcissistic abuse from a grandparent. After all, they say the best reward for good parenting is a grandchild. And she gets none.

  • I’m 27, I suffered verbal and physical abuse, humiliation and excesive control. I still cry when I see this video. Ive developed anger problems and I’m working on them. When I loose my temper and hurt good people I love, I feel inmediately so ashamed (like rubbish), I ask myself why and this video reminds me. I don’t hate my patent, they did what they could and Ive forgive them. Unfortunately I have scars inside, those we all have and they don’t make life easier neither.

  • I watched my mother treat her last 2 kids by her 3rd husband wonderful! I watched her show affection to them in front of me all the time. It was as if I was watching what I wanted. She would say that I didn’t have a dad so I didn’t get many Christmas gifts while watching her kids indulged. She kept us(the scape goats) and her other 2 (the golden ones) divided. She died this week. Showing ME my final place in her life. Giving me 5% of her half a million dollar estate. I’m sure she wished I’d died. That was her last way to stick it to me. Yes it hurt me but so did all the other things she did. But because of videos such as yours… I know now what I was dealing w(she was covert so it was like pulling teeth to get anything out of her) and NOW I have the time to heal and be a better person that leaves this earth not trying to control my money or dividing my kids. Or whatever else she did. I went no contact off and on for years w her. This last year she had cancer so at the same time I was dealing w spine surgery recovery so I didn’t feel like being there for her(nor did she want me there). She had never been there for me in LIFE. Today as I sit here and drink coffee.. I don’t feel bitter. I feel better

  • i was raped by my father and i never got any medical help, i turned to God i haven’t seen my father since it’s hard to forgive but i’m proud of who i am today! i’m strong and beautiful!

  • Just to add another definition to Narcissistic Parents: If you think your parents love you but they really hate you they can lead you to hell on earth!

  • I grew up with my mother starting to spank me at 5 y/o. She still does it today even when I’m near 14. When they hit you, they say they are doing this because they “love” you. I grew up feeling nearly emotionless, loneliness, and not knowing what love is because I was always shown “love” through spanking. They all do it because their parents did it. I grew into severe depression and anxiety throughout the years since I was spanked throughout the years. Sometimes I ask myself, “Why does spanking exist and why do they allow it?” But the big question is “What the hell is love?”

  • My mother has forced me to do many things. I sometimes can not be myself because it is too dumb. I have to find a suitable mate. Someone for my convenience. Just to show it off. I bet. She compares me with other girls. Her friends’ daughters and all my life I’ve been so insecure.

  • I was beaten, spat at, starved, booted around the house name called and bullied by my carer as a child but I dont feel it effects me in any way is there something wrong with me or have I just got over it?

  • I suffered with abuse from my mum growing up so did my siblings I suffered physical abuse when I was younger emotional abuse she was always Embarrassing me shaming me infront of family members and friends for small things making me think that everything was my fault she made me believe I was cursed and god was punishing me verbal abuse she’d completely lose her temper with me for slight things and call me nasty names and threaten me neglect there was times we went to school with no food wouldn’t bother buying me new clothes or shoes or even washing them sometimes slavery she’d make me and my siblings do everything round the house and gives us no credit not even a thank you she’d also use me as her drug mule make me go pick up illegal drugs for her knowing the risk if I got caught she never showed any empathy or remourse for any of it instead she just manipulate us and everyone around us into thinking it was our fault she was evil

  • I absolutely loved this video wish there was a love button this helped me validate so may things! Thanks so much for posting! xoxo blessings!

  • Number 2. I will NOT let the relationship I had with my abusive parents affect the rest of my life. I refuse to! Sure, it’s hard to overcome the childhood trauma, but fuck telling people that they are doomed to attract crappy relationships in the future just because of childhood abuse that was not their fault.

  • Any links to help with a female that grew up with a narc mom, and now has her own children and wants to break/stop the cycle. And heal any damage that already has been done against the children of the narc abused mother. And narc gma has great influence and contact with grandchild(en).
    I hope this makes sense. And I pray there is help for me so I am able to stop the cycle and heal my children and protect and shield them from future narc abuse from narc gma.
    No contact with narc gma is Not possible.
    Sending this with hope

  • I don’t have even normal adulthood! My mother don’t let me have! I don’t do or say anything right and my mom threatens me that my son is taken away because I don’t love my son! I’m so tired and I’m 42 years old! �� All my friends are “alcoholics or psychopaths” and every man I see is killer or ugly… I just want to hit my mom sometimes and HARD! ��

  • My childhood so far (i’m 13):
    1. my mother giving me severe stress/anxiety about math, and I still have self esteem issues surrounding that
    2. Gender dysphoria
    3. Confused about my sexuality and gender
    4. feeling like I can’t be sad/depressed cause I have a relatively privileged life
    5. hating myself

  • I’m basically the one who is raised normally until I reach the point where I get whooped for crying or refusing to eat something like watermelon

  • My childhood? ok ok..
    Abusive big sister
    Online bullying
    Toxic ex-best friend
    Forced into a toxic relationship
    Dad who doesnt love me or my siblings
    Emetophobia
    cutting
    Suicide attempt
    Gramma calling me and my brother names everytime we get yellled at by her
    Learning my mom is transphobic (I’m pansexual and non-binary)
    Getting called names my whole life
    Death threats from mother and grandmother

    🙂

  • My parents are one of those ‘I can never be happy until’ folks. Both of them have a trivial desire to emotionally connect with me or my sister although they have plenty of energy to keep up the appearances for people who do not matter. You have to meet them in their matchbox of a perspective or endure the constant perfectionism they have to offer. My childhood was a facade. I tried to reflect validation and simplicity to them (which weren’t my job) as I grew up.. in hopes that maybe they would be kinder to themselves, but now I see that they are neurotic individuals. I actually feel sad for them; and for my wasted years and efforts. I am 31 now, and I only tried so hard to protect my sisters feelings. Today they had a big argument and she cried like a helpless child. It broke my heart.

  • If you are reading this Call the police right away please for the sake of your life trust me your not being a snitch if you don’t you will be like me i have anxiety loops and depression you could develop worse disorders like ptsd, bipolar disorder and many others AND MAKE SURE THE POLICE KNOW YOUR SERIOUS BECAUSE IF THEY DON’T THEY WILL TAKE THE SIDE OFTHE ADULT.

  • Holy crap. This hit closer to home than I expected. My mom sheltered me to the point of making me socially retarded, then flipped out when I graduated college & moved away…saying I was “too naive” to survive the world. Uh, yeah. Because YOU never let me live. Gaslighting, check. Triangulation, check.

    I have a feeling narcissism lies at the heart of parents not accepting their gay/trans/whatever kids…they make it all about THEM & how it will affect THEIR reputation. Just a hunch:)

  • I’m curious what years as a child and into a teenager and into an adult of watching Gore, murders, beheadings, tortures, suicides, humans doing horrible things to one another…all that messed up shit for years. Does it do anything to one’s psyche? I’ve come to think that the only people that should see that are the ones committing those horrible actions. If the eyes are gateways to the soul then what do those images do to a person? I’ve got quite a few issues and I’m curious if anything could be related, like giving yourself PTSD. Not to add that my life outside the computer was also abusive from my father for 15yrs..just makes me wonder. Any opinions?

  • Terminology. Psychiatry = psyche (Latin mind) + iatry (Latin treatment).
    So swap out psyche for cerebrum (Latin brain).
    cerebrumiatry & cerebrumiatrist

  • Damn I just realized I suffer some of these things, I just never thought about it, for I thought it was normal. Now, since my sisters and I are little bit grown, we don’t let anyone take advantage or hit us. Lol.

  • I want to have children, but I know that I may not be ready for a while. I watch my baby cousin alot and I’m really good at it so I think children may be a good thing for me later:).

  • Is there any chance that these listed narcissistic tendencies are common among parents? I’m struggling to think that other friends of mine didn’t experience abuse like this. I don’t talk about these things for fear that I might be stabbing my mom in the back by highlighting something negative about her, so I haven’t asked others about these issues.

  • I am mostly sad and in my father’s eyes crying is just a crime like all other feellings “surpass em all(feelings)be sucsesfull and have money people will love you and all other things are lie” how can i tell him his “absolute perfect” is an ” absolute failure” i musn’t became in my heart i belive nearly everything he sees as bullshit and he actually cares about how i act in front of other people or did i do a mistake against them more than me and it is destroying me someone please help me

  • In all honesty, I have been suffering from child abuse since I was 4. I have tried to ask for help but have failed. I’m also going through bipolar depression.. I would like to go deeper into it but I rather not say it on the internet.. let’s just say I suffer through all of these types of Childhood abuse. My school, Home, and even online are just a living nightmare for me..

  • “Mother is God, in the eyes of her child”. When a child is raised with an evil, satanic mother, they grow to view the rest of the world as being hell.

  • Why does the Bible talk about these problems in the last days and why does it talk about MEN and the sword they use which hangs on his inner thigh?

    Why does the Bible say…… So that they could devour the baby as soon as it is born

    And NOW you see the future because soon…. this will be the ONLY assurance that MEN have to make sure that they get their virgins!

    TRUTH is NOT always an easy thing to look at!

  • Yes My childhood was Rob. I listened to Vic Damon at the age of 3. I started invested in Stocks of the age of 5. I can not figure it out. At the age of five I said love does not exist so please throw away all my Valentine cards into the Garbage. I learn from my parents I have to be self reliant and never get marry. There was so much physical and emotional abuse at home. My dad was an alcoholic and a compulsive gambler. So I will be different than him.Suppress all my desires and live with less or close to nothing. No relationships,lack of money and no dreams. Amen������

  • I felt all these things as a child and youth and blamed myself. The pain I carried inside was behind my decision not to have children. I was convinced that I was far too broken and damaged to be a mom that any kids I had would be ashamed of me.
    Having a child is no longer a possibility. I wouldn’t want that child to inherit my legacy. At least now I realise what was done and that it wasn’t my fault.

  • Since childhood until now im dealing with domestic violence.but Thanks to God religion has stabilized me through out these years.and one tip from my sidedon’t care

  • I’m in the process of accepting I was bullied and manipulated by a toxic family. (Brainwash is indeed effective)
    Mother keeps telling me I need to take in that none of them ever intend to hurt or harm me.
    She also says my mental health issues are a huge strain on her conscioun. So it’s important to her that I get over the past.
    I feel awful for thinking this. But I am left with a sensation of my depressions and anxiety isn’t about me. It is about her.
    And yes, I get that they didn’t intend to hurt me. Still, I would like believe I was hurt…. Again, am I bad for not accepting that I got the situations wrong and shake off the hurt?

  • I was overweight when I was in school and would always be bullied. Even after I graduated high school I was still really hard on myself thinking that I was fat and ugly and had no control over any of it. I began losing weight in 2009 after I had a car accident. When I had my first back surgery due to the accident I came out of surgery paralyzed from the waist down. At one point I think I was down in the 130’s. That was the first time I got bullied for being too skinny. My husband at the time (he passed away on me in 2018), told me that I looked like a skeleton with skin. That actually hurt me the worst then being bullied in school. My highest weight was 315 pounds and I’m now around 155 pounds and feel like I’m at a good weight for my body size. Thank you for a very informative video ��

  • When I grew up I had very curvy body even as a a child so I suffered a lot of sexual abuse from a lot of men.And growing up I got used to men using me as a toy.Id blame myself if someone cried when they found out.And the saddest part is I’m 10 years old and I’m still suffering with those kinds of men.So to get through this I distract myself with technology and art and school.Thank you for reading and if my family sees this I’m sorry.

  • i had the sleeve my ex who encouraged me to have it cheated on me with his ex.he knew id been molested by a relative at age 15. it gets disgusting with people going around lying calling u the crazy one. the emotional abuse is the worse……i worked for the state one of my abused children ended up killing a women. she went into psychosis over her lust for the neigbhor…no joke she set them on fire. never underestimate the pain and lonliness of the sexual abuse. i have not friend left at this point. i even had great kindness and admiration for my abusers. its difficult to describe. they were all i had. u learn to just get through the day protect the other little of littlest. thats all i knew how to do. i did it very well i think.

  • Narcisstic parents create empaths, scapegoats and other narcissists due to how they parent each child according to how that child will fuel their narcisstic supply. They have no real love in their heart to give their children, they don’t love anybody as they are devoid of empathy for others. Empathy is what binds us together and forms healthy relationships. Their children are nothing more than fuel for them to use as they please with lack of regard of the harm they do.
    They have a twisted distorted sense of reality based on the whole world revolving around them. Everything is about THEM until they want to blame YOU for their wrongdoing, then it’s all about YOU. It’s like they are the total opposite of how a human being should function. They project onto you who THEY are and then attack you for what they blame you for and the blame is really theirs. They are seeing themselves through you and if you try to remedy it they despise you even more. It’s a crazy dynamic, it’s insanity yet they are not insane, they know exactly what they are doing and yet they will deny it at the same time.
    I think it’s one of the most complex forms of abuse because the logic is so twisted and distorted and extremely difficult to explain.

  • “You’re never going to make friends if you don’t talk”
    “Why can’t you be just as smart like your twin”
    “You’re never going to get anywhere in life if your so stupid”
    “I left your mother because she was weak”
    “Your mother is nothing but a idiot so don’t grow up to be as stupid as she is”
    “what a disgrace to the family”
    “Why are you crying I didn’t even hit you that hard so shut up”
    “The only reason why your scared of me is because I yell at you so grow up”

    All those words..all that pain..is all because of what my dad did or said to me
    I hate him so much.I can’t believe I really thought it was normal for a dad to be treating me like that but.Now as i’m older I understand everything now.IT’S A LIVING NIGHTMARE BEING AROUND THAT GUY.I don’t even call him my dad like a normal kid would.He doesn’t deserve to have that title anyways.To be honest I don’t know why my mother is still with him.All he ever does is talk shit about her when i’m around him.The only piece of shit here is him.I’m only 13 right now and I was around 4 or 5 when she would say those things to me not just that he abused me to.

  • When you don’t remember your chilhood even you are in your teenhood��

    A fucc oh yea i bottle up my situations so i never remember trauma.

  • I suffered these. ALL. It happened more when I was a kid. As a kid she would always physically abuse me for getting a low grade in a certain class because I struggled to ask for help or just talk to other overall. And ever since 2015, my mother has gotten her first phone which had more access to apps. Till this day she puts more attention to it and whenever I use it for a long time she gets mad at me for using it. Even though she spends almost the whole day in her device. Especially if we go visit relatives, I’m shy and am not able to go and say hi to them. If I dont because they’re busy, my mom will always ask “did you already say hi?” Even if I say that they’re busy, she HAS to say “impolite piece of trash” EVEN when someone that is not a family member will think bad of me. If I remember, I was 116 lbs when I first started getting abused. After years of abuse and excessive eating, I’m not 168 lbs, and my mom will always compare me to skinnier people in my family which had resulted in me self harming. After she found out she acted like the victim. I go to therapy and she swore to never hit me again. Been almost a year, and she still hits me

  • Even tho im still a child, this is what i do:

    Games
    Being Awkward When Talking
    Being Loud In Class
    Forgots things most of the time
    Barely succeed in exams (usually i get 58 95)

    And with the pandemic going on, maybe i have the most OK childhood:3

  • That moment when. A child is crying at midnight, outside and 2 boys can hear her but they don’t say anything nor care. They keep smoking. Then her mom comes back from strolling off and she goes inside with her, crying. And she gets beat up.

  • I have a question about self harm
    If you know or are someone who does self harm and you want help is there any places where you can text a life line. Instead of calling?

  • DEAR PARENTS,and TO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS:

    Please stop comparing your daughters and sons or how many children you have. THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION to know who’s smarter,more responsible,or who’s more beautiful/handsome. I get it that you love them equally,but comparing them to each other since child is not good. It can effect to their future. And that kind of parenting does not help them to be more mature or to be more independent. I get it that you want them to teach themselves but PARENTS GUIDANCE is also important,if you do that your relationship with your child will be harder. She or He will not let you know what she’s/he’s feeling nor opened up to you. And please if you angry and accidentally say hurtful things to your child,please apologize and explain them to them so it can’t lead to self-hatred or low-esteem(I mean it’s fine to apologize sometimes) And let your child to talk about what they feeling so that it will not lead to hatred. COMMUNICATION is important,I’m not saying that you need to be perfect parent,we’re all humans. I’m just sharing my experience since this kind of childhood still affecting my current life and I’m still struggling to increase my self-esteem.

    Thank you,hope you have a good day ^_^

  • pls answer this question
    im being yelled at by my grandpas girlfreind SHE IS NOT MY FAMILY but she still yells and creates drama and puts me right in the middile of it. what should i do? if i tell my grandpa he will think im lying and get me in trouble.

  • Dismissive? I think my mom has this.. i notice it now tho now that im an adult, thankfully i dont even remember anything when i was little, like i mean anything of her at all much, i just remember playing with my friends and those memeories, but apparently she was loving. I have other siblings who are 15 yrs older than me, & i am very much the baby. Anyways tho my mom just scoffs at my problems tho like, she doesnt take things seriously enought i have to cry and get reslly emotional before she gets it, also i had a few issiues bc with breathing, bc im asthmatic, she doesnt seem to get it, doeent think i need help unless im passed out on the floor, btw she has a mix of schizo and bypolar so i asume this is why she is the way she is,. This is why i hate telling her of anything but yet she is supposed to be the one who makes me feel ok and actually takes it seriously. When i mentioned about my gender identity, that i was confused about it and i thought i wanted to be a male, she got really defensive. My dad is more understanding believe it or not and theres actualy a trans in my imediate family who is my age, also when i freaken cut my hair & regretted it after, my dad just said ‘ its ok’ i did stupid things like that when i was your age. All my mom does it remind me of how awfull it looks, she does that with my other siblings too.

  • My mom blames and has blamed me for everything since i can remember and it has honestly destroyed my confidence which has never really existed in the first place. She’d pressure me. Make me feel bad about how i looked, degraded me, made me feel small, even things i did to the best of my ability were wrong. She doesnt care if i try she cares if it’s right. She thinks im obnoxious even though I’ve never talked after her. Aside from her not being able to accept my identity and her calling me homophobic, transphobic slurrs, she does many things that make it difficult for me to be happy. Like saying she cant support me because i am certain way. And I’ve tried to tell her that i didn’t chose the way I am but she doesnt wanna understand because she’s self centered as fuck. When I tell her I’m being bullied she tells me that it’s my fault and she would do it too bc the way I am is not right. At this point I am honestly hopeless. I have also had social anxiety since i can remeber. A reason for that is the fact that she made me feel bad about wanting to hang out with friends, go out and play or even have friends because if she doesnt like them it means i can’t. I have no social life I’m no where near gonna be independent. I am not trying to say it’s mom’s fault she is this way, but its very sad, that narcissistic parents don’t wanna understand what dammage its doing to their children. Thank you for this video. I hope some people will understand this:)

  • Yep that last point. Totally got my share of “nice” years back then and anxiety is my second name and got more computers than romantic partners. At least not all is f’ed up, I have my job and few friends, yet it is hard to fix the rest of the “disabilities”