Speaker: Denise Gottfredson, Professor, Department of Criminology and Criminal Justice, University of Maryland. Date: April 2, 2015. Description: Dr. Gottfredson focuses on the broader aspects of school climate, such as teacher and administrator engagement and understanding of children’s behaviors in the school context.. Mini-Conference Webpage: http://peabody.vanderbilt.edu/research/pri/miniconference.php. Follow Vanderbilt on Twitter: https://twitter.com/vanderbiltu, on Instagram: http://instagram.com/vanderbiltu and on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vanderbilt.. See all Vanderbilt social media at http://social.vanderbilt.edu.
Webinar presented to help schools create a safe and kind environment for their students. Experts explain how to measure and understand your school environment and use the science of kindness to motivate students to stay engaged. Also discussed is a one week initiative to unite schools through kindness.. You’ll hear from experts from:. Kids for Peace http://www.kidsforpeaceglobal.org. The National School Climate Center http://www.schoolclimate.org. The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation https://www.randomactsofkindness.org
The CSRA Saving Our Students group is teaming up with the Richmond County Board of Education to tackle the bullying problem, and provide a healthy school climate.. .
“Bullying is a problem everywhere. The elders are being bullied, there’s bullying in the workplace. So of course, there is bullying in schools,” says the groups founder, Annettea Mills.
MAKE YOUR OWN WHITEBOARD ANIMATIONS. CLICK THE LINK! http://tidd.ly/69da8562.. This is an affiliate link. I earn commission from any sales, so Please Use! SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL:. Help keep me going with a tip or contribution. https://paypal.me/frankavella?locale.x=en_US. TEACHERSPAYTEACHERS STORE. Classroom Posters, Courses, Lessons, Presentations, and More. https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Teachings-In-Education. TEESPRING IN EDUCATiON. Stickers, Dress Down Gear, Phone Cases, Coffee Mugs, and More. https://teespring.com/stores/teespring-in-education-2. FOR PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT & ON-SITE TRAININGS. CONTACT: [email protected] SOCIAL MEDIA. https://www.linkedin.com/in/frank-avella-404b59b5/. https://twitter.com/frank_avella. School climate is fully explained in detail for teachers, students, parents, educators, and more. The video begins with a quick overview of school climate. School climate is broken down into warm and supportive or cold and toxic atmospheres. The video will go into detail onto the importance of school climate as it relates to a variety of different individuals associated with the school. Some of the reasons as to why school climate is so vital include its affect on bullying, engagement, academic success, and much. The video continues by listing the steps that one should take to build a positive warm school climate. Building a positive school climate is explained for a large portion of the video. Next up is the additions of utilizing school climate surveys. These climate surveys are used to assess the current climate of a school. Overall this video is meant to give people an insight as to how school environment can actually affect the quality of life at an organization. This video is part of a teachings in education playlist that is meant for teachers to build a culture in their classroom that is reflective of an overall culture.
School personnel tend to intervene logically by educational means. Themed days, bracelets, sweaters, posters… We understand here that educational interventions are essential to reduce bullying at school, but impossible to think that they will end it! We learn the role of the teacher when comes to intervene with a situation of intimidation and how to detect, intervene and act as a trusted builder rather than a safety officer. I have the privilege to speak full time on bullying.. -I get to travel accross Canada every year to speak in french and english.. -I have different speech directed to reach the younger and the older students from elementary schools, high schools students, parents and teachers.. -I speak to more then 100 schools every year. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
Bullying is a serious problem that can affect children’s mental health. But with these psychology strategies, teachers and parents might be able to prevent bullying at school.. Hosted by: Brit Garner. -- Support SciShow by becoming a patron on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/scishow. SciShow has a spinoff podcast! It’s called SciShow Tangents. Check it out at https://www.scishowtangents.org. -- Huge thanks go to the following Patreon supporters for helping us keep SciShow free for everyone forever: Avi Yashchin, Adam Brainard, Greg, Alex Hackman, Sam Lutfi, D.A. Noe, Piya Shedden, KatieMarie Magnone, Scott Satovsky Jr, Charles Southerland, Patrick D. Ashmore, charles george, Kevin Bealer, Chris Peters. -- Looking for SciShow elsewhere on the internet? Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/scishow. Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/scishow. Tumblr: http://scishow.tumblr.com. Instagram: http://instagram.com/thescishow. -- Sources: https://search.proquest.com/openview/737f1c16dca0d963a442bb2c80c9d97c/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=48217. http://njbullying.org/documents/Ttofi2011.pdf. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2435211/. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/amp-a0039114.pdf. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.4073/csr.2009.6. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/12789140_When_Interventions_Harm_Peer_Groups_and_Problem_Behavior. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s42380-019-00019-5. https://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/uk/17/03/schoolwide-sel-prevent-bullying. http://www.episcenter.psu.edu/sites/default/files/news/Durlak%20et%20al.%20(2011)%20meta%20analysis%20SEL.pdf. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/259452909_Effectiveness_of_the_KiVa_Antibullying_Program_Grades_1-3_and_7-9. http://www.kivaprogram.net/program. https://phys.org/news/2017-10-bullying-finnish-wayin-states.html. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Stevie_Grassetti/publication/319417778_Teacher_factors_contributing_to_dosage_of_the_KiVa_anti-bullying_program/links/59e3b3f70f7e9b97fbeb028f/Teacher-factors-contributing-to-dosage-of-the-KiVa-anti-bullying-program.pdf. Image Sources: https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/three-gm172213345-3282688. https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/caucasian-guys-and-mix-raced-girls-meeting-outdoors-gm1166760647-321520315. https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/young-woman-in-counselling-session-gm541118054-96739243
The President and First Lady Michelle Obama discuss how we can all work together to end bullying as an accepted practice and create a safer environment for our kids to grow up in. March 10, 2011.
Improving School Climate to Help Prevent Bullying WHAT is school climate? School climate refers to the quality and character of school life. 1. The more positive school culture is, the better kids. will be able to learn. 2. i e valuing each person as a contributor. A y l e s. d l by adults for students engaging everyone e involving students.
Building a positive school climate. School climate can be difficult to define, though possible to measure. It is the “felt sense” of being in a school, which can arise from a greeting, the way a problem is resolved, or how people work together; it is a school’s “heart and soul,” its “quality and character.”.
Bullying harms kids in nearly every way imaginable. It disrupts their learning; it causes them to suffer anxiety and depression; and it undermines their feelings of safety and connection to school. New understandings of bullying are based on relationships and connect directly to the growing appreciation of the role of the social climate within schools and its connection to bullying. Bullying can occur for many reasons.
Some children are more likely to be targeted, for example, based on disability, 23 sexual orientation, 24 gender identity, 24 weight, 25,26 race or religion. For instance: A recent national survey of school climate found that more than 80 percent of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth reported some form of bullying or harassment at school. Build a Safe Environment A safe and supportive school climate can help prevent bullying. Safety starts in the classroom.
Students should also feel and be safe everywhere on campus—in the cafeteria, in the library, in the rest rooms, on the bus, and on the playground. School climate is a broad, multifaceted concept that involves many aspects of the student’s educational experience. A positive school climate is the product of a school’s attention to fostering safety; promoting a supportive academic, disciplinary, and physical environment; and encouraging and maintaining respectful, trusting, and caring relationships throughout the school community. To effectively prevent bullying, schools need to understand positive school climate, use reliable measures to evaluate school climate and use effective prevention and intervention programs to.
When a student is harassed or belittled, be it in school or online, that abuse not only affects their personal outlook, it also often impacts the climate of the entire school or school district. Often a poor school environment becomes a breeding ground for bullying and other safety and discipline issues. The way that a school responds to bullying incidents leaves a lasting impression on the victims, the bullies, the parents of students and the surrounding community. There is a wide range of possible responses, many poor, which is why it’s important for a school to have a well-thought-out plan in place before a bullying incident occurs. BullyBust: Promoting a Community of Upstanders.
The National School Climate Center’s BullyBust: Promoting a Community of Upstanders is a nationwide campaign that has reached 4,500 schools.BullyBust provides free supports to schools to help students and adults become part of the solution to end harmful harassment, teasing, and violence in our nation’s schools.
List of related literature:
Establish a climate that encourages bystanders to speak out against bullying behavior.
By creating a climate in which students learn positive behaviors and problem-solving skills, in which they have meaningful interactions with adults, and in which they feel fairly treated, schools can reduce student misbehaviors.
It is designed on the premise that proactive enhancements to school climate can reduce incidents of bullying and empower students, teachers and families to prevent bullying behaviour (Cross et al., 2012; Pearce, Cross, Monks, Waters, & Falconer, 2011; Smith, Pepler, & Rigby, 2004; Ttofi & Farrington, 2011).
The first proactive step you can take is to assess the level of cyberbullying occurring in your school and the impact it is having on the student body and educational environment.
Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.
Getting picked on from infancy by one’s own parents who blame the infant for all of their stupid, miserable adult mistakes (despite being born years into the marriage) is far far worse, because the worst bullies of all are waiting at home for the poor kid.
In elementary my school tried to teach something called “a bug and a wish,” aka this bugs me and I wish you’d stop. It did nothing but make it impossible to use that phrase ever. I’m in high school now and last year someone in staff who tries to resolve student issues suggested that to me and it left me speechless. The professionals can’t even tell when their system is broken.
In early teenagerhood, my little brother got repeatedly bullied, teased, his things stolen, his bike broken. My mother took an appointment with the school headteacher to report the bullying. Reaction? “Oh, we know… it’s a problem… but also… I mean, look at him!” Same when I was bullied myself and went to the head monitor’s office. “Of course this is happening to you, young lady, look at you!” I’ll spare you the part when the teachers proceed to list in detail everything wrong with our appearance (not even behaviour, except maybe shy/submissive body language that was obviously DUE to being harassed every single day). (And no, we weren’t dirty or scruffy, or anything ostentatious in any way). Good luck fighting bullying when teachers actively take part in it…:(
I’m a teacher and the hardest part of bullying for me is recognizing it. Are they playfully teasing or are they bullying? I crack down hard when I detect it.
Hm. There was (almost) no bullying when I was a kid. (I live in central Europe.) The children spent the majority of time with their families. (Parental leave can last up to 4 years.) The teachers were not responsible for teaching social skills, they simply focused on their subjects. We had a few “mean kids” who were somewhat on the bullying side but nobody liked them. Bullying was simply not a popular behaviour, you weren’t considered a hero for being mean to others. (It may be different these days though). Maybe it’s about the parents, not teachers I think the vast majority of families still teaches young children to be nice to each other. I see it everywhere like if a child punches someone on a playground, the mom intervenes and says “no, how would you like it if they punched you?” etc.
I’ve never had a bully everyone was my friend I mean they did fight with eachother but not me I think this video doesn’t apply on me lol Lucky me? (Nah man srsly I really wanna be bullied so I can fight back I’m getting bored) (I rarely fight my friends when they take things too far but after that nothing happens they are afraid n stuff…)
I don’t understand why doesn’t this society forbid this? I grew up in Latín societies and never experienced or witnessed this type of cruel harassment. Why doesn’t the schools have a no bumlying policy? I I don’t get it.
Learning and training empathy sounds like a really good strategy and is so important.
My understanding is that bullying (or mobbing) is a kind of reproductive strategy. The strongest bully gets the best mates. That is why the social darwinists in charge don’t really want to change it unless their own child is affected. Then they want their child to toughen up and climb up the pecking order instead of creating a more egalitarian and peaceful society. I mean just look how underfunded schools in many countries are. I believe long term we as a species have to adapt to our changing environment though because we simply can’t afford to be a society of wolfs any more. The stakes are getting too high. I’m not sure if that can be done through culture alone or if long term we’ll need to filter out genetic traits like sociopathy and raise the emotional and technical cognitive abilities so more people are able to learn and understand our increasingly complex society.
“Children who were bullies have a higher chance of growing up to have lower self-esteem and a higher risk of depression.” Hey, hi. I hear you talking about me.
Teachers in the US are so badly underpaid & overworked, with a crap-ton of things expected of them that should rightly be on the parents. Expecting them to intervene in bullying? Good luck, especially if you’re dealing with a school in a very conservative area that victim-blames.
I was in elementary school when bullying formally became illegal in ohio. they sat us all down in the gym and explained the law (as best as you can to a bunch of kids). All it really did was teach the bullies “as long as your bullying/harassment can sidestep this narrow definition, we won’t stop you.” Things got significantly worse after that school assembly.
Being bullied sucks. In the first grade I was bullied verbally and sometimes physically, although the physical bullying was only done by one specific boy.
It hurts real bad, and the teacher didn’t help. She was honestly just as big as a bully as most of the other students were.
Mostly they teased me about being weird and traits that I know recognize as being apart of my autism and ADHD, but I didn’t have a diagnosis back then. They called me an elf because I was short and said I was as pale as a ghost. They never did any of this to my face but I could hear them. They were only 2 feet anyway and their whispering and laughing wasn’t quiet at all, and I very sensitive hearing.
My teacher was just as bad. I got in trouble for rocking back and forth in my seat and other fidgeting that I did to help myself pay attention, but she never noticed the girls whispering mean things about me to each other and laughing.
Someone who I was friends with in kindergarten had left me to hang out with the kids that were new to the school that year who also happened to be the ones who started the bullying. I wonder if she realized how much those people were bullying or how much that hurt, even if I don’t really blame her. I didn’t ask though. I didn’t know how to.
I had a point but I no longer remember what it is. Regardless, bullying sucks and some kids are more likely to be bullied then others. Younger me didn’t know how to stand up for myself, and communicating that there was a problem was hard for me because I didn’t know how to do that. Saying “tell someone” is all well and good, but it really is easier said than done. I didn’t trust my teachers to do anything, and I didn’t feel like there was a point to tell my mom and dad because they couldn’t go to school with me. Even when I tried people didn’t understand what I was trying to say. “Just tell them to stop”, like that wasn’t one of the first things I tried. Telling them to stop made it worse. Ignoring them didn’t make them stop either. I can think only one instance where someone got in trouble for hurting my that year. Once even though it happened the entire year.
My family moved to a different part of the state the year after that, I went to a school were people were a lot nicer, although I still struggled making friends the students and staff there were kind.
Bullying sucks, and kids like me are more likely to be affected by it. Look out
Like teachers really have the time to hand hold all the kids. What about getting the parents involved. You know, the ones that think their little angel could never be a bully.
When I was in grade school and again in high school, I was bullied by some of my teachers, and other school administrators (over 20 years ago). This was knowingly done. And when I was in high school, the school refused to do anything about it. They chose to blame, and punish me (and the other victims) instead. What is the suggested way to combat that type of bullying? It can’t exactly be brought to anyone’s attention.
Teachers in the US are overworked and underpaid, so it’s no surprise that any study would fall flat. And that seems to be by design to starve the beast and push for more privatization.
There are also cultural influences that you have to keep in mind. In many places in the US, police and teachers sometimes harass and bully students of minority races. People with different sexual orientations and gender identities face legal discrimination that rewards bullying behavior. So it’s bigger than any intervention
Mabye teaching psycology to kids in school could make victims & bullies realize why the bullies are bullying, and mabye stop it. It’s alot more important to for society to learn psycology than history, imo.
‘The Social Animal’ has some interesting points about bullying. Basically you could exploit someone’s self justification to make them think the never enjoyed being a bully to begin with if you can cause them enough cognitive dissonance by making them stop bullying but not for a super obvious/scary external reason (so for a very mild incentive instead of to avoid a sever punishment or for a major reward… that’ll only work as long as they’re being watched).
I was bullied all throughout school and there was only one thing that helped me, and it sounds super cliche and a little crazy, but laughter. When people verbally harassed me I would retaliate by laughing at them and leaving. Or I would comment on how they could do better with their insults and turn it into a game. Or I would pretend I didn’t hear them and walk away. I also dressed very goth/punk since gr.5 onwards, so that probably helped make me look a lot more intimidating, so physical bullying seldom happened.
I also had to stand up for my friends a lot (who all had bad home lives as well). Teachers would rarely do anything and the men were the worst! They’d always say things like, “He just had a crush on you” or “Kids will be kids”. Essentially teaching these children abuse is okay and equals affection/normalcy. Ugh. No wonder my mom was constantly fighting teachers/principles. At least I had a mother in my corner. I can’t imagine how I would have been without her, so many of my friends struggled…
throughout my education from 1st all the way to collage.. everytime time when a bullying incident happens the school/collage steps in to fix the situation and prevent it from happening again. so the solution is within the school.. but in the other hand the school personal should be well trained to handle these issues.
We had to pull my daughter out of school because the bullying was so bad (8th grade). The tipping point was when we found out that her teacher was contributing to it. Now she’s in a school where the teachers are proactive and every negative event is taken seriously and dealt with immediately. She feels safer and there’s no systemic bullying.
Most effective way is just to beat their faces in, telling makes it worse doing nothing keeps it the same, I’ve been to 12 different schools all the same things, pick on new kid new kid crys bullies go harder I beat their faces in get suspended for 3 days don’t got worry about bullies at that school anymore I might be emotional but I can sure as heck fight
Sometimes nothing you can teach a bully will make them stop, they’re doing it because they want to be cruel, they want the feeling of power over others. The only thing you can do is fight.
when I was in elementary school it was around the time that schools were implementing a zero-tolerance policy and I kept to myself and didn’t really have many kids because my dad was unfaithful to his wife which everyone knew and my mom was hurt by it. seeing her cry like that killed me inside and I just kept to myself. one day some kid started just hitting and kicking me and I just stood there and took it because I knew if I fought back I would get in trouble not to mention I couldn’t stomach hurting someone else like I got hit and I was a strong kid and had to watch my temper. I did nothing and ended up with bruises yet I get punished with getting suspended and lectured by adults that thought I did anything. kids are wickedly cruel but adults are worse, you look to them to protect you or help you but they never do and in fact, cause more harm by locking kids in windowless small rooms because you were “disruptive”, alone and feeling guilty and not knowing why.
compassion is so needed in our society it just sickens me that we treat each other so bitterly over the dumbest stuff… one thing that stuck with me being raised by cartoons pretty much was from the show Doug, when his dad said to him “show me a man that resorts for violence and I will show you a man who has run out of good ideas.” I understand when people are at their wit’s end that they give in to their frustrations and lose their sanity for a moment and can do what in normal terms would be thought of as unthinkable… but given the frustration and not knowing what else to do you just want it to stop and you end up smacking the back of your child’s head so hard that their vision goes for like 10 seconds, it’s what my dad would call a “tuneup”. I don’t hate him for it but he showed me how to never treat another person. we are all flawed creatures and forgiveness is important.
kids start out dumb but it is our teaching them and being good teachers that can mean all the difference to a kid… they learn quick.
congratulations to whoever actually read this long comment! and if you or someone you know has gone through similar things, know that you are not alone and there are good people out there <3
I don’t even know what bullying is at this point. I was ostracized and reviled for most of my childhood for a multitude of reasons. But, because I was a girl with an obvious physical disability… it was never physical. I had next to no friends growing up and people were very mean and scheming… trying to bring the “teacher’s pet” (me) down. I didn’t think it was “bullying” I thought it was part-and-parcel of a cut-throat world. I stood up for myself and fought back I never saw myself as a victim. So was that bullying or not? I came from a community very different from the US… I don’t know what to make of anything. Sometimes I wonder if I was just asking for it all…. other times, I wonder why everyone was always so apprehensive and unstable around me. I have trouble trusting anyone now. Also have pretty severe depression and anxiety. Correlation or causation or none of the above? Idk. Idk what narrative I must tell myself when someone asks me about my childhood.
You are wrong. I was bullied as a child. The only thing that reduced the bullying was people standing up for me and me standing up for others being bullied. I also made friends with other kids who were outcasts and bullied. It seems that bullies avoid groups of people. There is safety in numbers. Telling teachers never did any good, very few did anything to stop it.
Most of the bullies picked on people who they know they don’t have people who can defend them, say parents or teachers or whoever, so they can get away with it no matter how many times they do it.
Thanks for making this. Now the big thing is, how do we get more teachers to have access to social emotional learning strategies and training? It’s almost like it could use a free source of quick info that could also include videos to spark class discussions.
“Unknowingly harass” yeah, right. Teachers know full well what they’re doing. I hold more contempt for the teachers who encouraged and initiated the bullying I received as a child than the children who joined in. Kids learn from the behavior of adults.
The things is though… A bully usually seeks out the weakest of the ‘prey’, and in a human society scenario, that means the ones that won’t fight back or won’t tell, aka no consequences. And those that don’t fight back or tell probably has parents that have problems of their own.
Kids often think that any kind of problem the adults have is because of them. “If I were a better daughter/son/child.” “If I weren’t such a burden.”…etc; (Even though it’s not the child’s responsibility to keep a family stable, safe and healthy, they would still think that.)
So…When a kid senses something wrong with the adults, even if it’s a minor thing, they will try their best to not be a burden. So they WON’T tell their parents or teachers, and the bullies that instinctively take advantage of it will continue to bully. It’s not as easy as telling a child “Just tell us.” Because the last thing they want is to give you or any adult more trouble.
Confidence and skill are the solution. A confident kid is less bothered by bullying and bullies don’t feel very powerful when their words don’t have an affect. Second, skill because bullies can be physical. I grew up bullied and martial arts gave me the confidence to not let it bother me and the skill to deal with anything physical. Finding a good group of friends can also help because they you might be a loser, but you are not alone.
Bullying starts at home and then gets compounded by the school environment. Age-segregated, lockstep, classroom-based education distances children from both the freedom and guidance they need to meet their potential to grow both intellectually and socially. Bullying is a problem that shouldn’t even be able to exist. Abolishing the educational system in its current form, and in turn educating parents and communities to better guide and accommodate the needs of children, is how this problem gets fixed.
I have an idea, why not rely on social engineers for strategies to prevent bullying instead of psychologists? We tend to be better at changing someone’s behavior.
I expected a generalized piece of bull** and got a well-differentiated take in under 5 minutes. I keep expecting the worst and am again and again pleasantly surprised. This is what we need.
When I was a kid, the teachers would actively tell me to stop “tattling” on the kids bullying me. I was told to stand up for myself, but in the event I ever did (even just verbally) I got in trouble, but the kids bullying me never did. The teachers responding or caring in any way is the main thing that can make a difference, which is why these programs fail in America. Many teachers treat bullying like it’s just an annoyance to them, with no concern to its affect on children. If it’s more effort than ignoring yelping children, then they won’t do it.
It’s what the author of the book “the body keeps the score” says: there no such thing such as a trouble child. Not to justify the action any bullies, but a bully is someone who is calling for attention by the wrong means. Unfortunately, maybe because it was the only “efficient” way it found for. By doing so, it’s too bad it hurts others.
I was bullied in elementary school. It all ended with afew fights. Basically a developed a backbone and they backed down. For afew other people I went to school with couldn’t and/or wouldn’t take the same path. I dont believe there is an end to bullying but I do believe it can be reduced greatly. I still live in the camp of if you can stand up and not back down do so but we should find ways to help those who can’t confront the issue head on. Also from my experiences it seemed the bullies had emotional problems that they learned to take out on other classmates because they could. Doesn’t justify the bullying but insight on where this is coming from could help. This is kinda why I think this will always be a problem. Its something that will always manifest itself.
I endured nearly all of elementary school with kids bullying me and most of the teachers backing the bully. I would be told by the grown up not to tattle, or if I responded to the bully, the teacher would fuss at me. When I told them what happened, all I’d get was “You don’t have to do it back.” As an adult, however, I understand better how well some of the bullies can hide what they’re doing. I certainly don’t want anyone going through what I did, but when the bully is sneaky about it and then acts all innocent when they’re reported, it’s difficult to know what to do. I think ultimately it’s a matter of adults respecting children and showing every child that they are valuable. When the grown up values you and treats you with respect, who the heck cares what the little kid next to you thinks? I look back and realize that was my problem. The adults, the people who I looked to for guidance, were effectively telling me, “They bully’s right.”
I’m 66 years old, and to my surprise simply listening to this episode made my pulse go up and my chest feel tight. (If I believed in such things, I’d say I needed a trigger warning but it wouldn’t have done any good, because my reaction was unexpected.) I was teased in school and teasing is now folded into bullying (when I was a child they were considered completely separate teasing was verbal, bullying was physical) and I’m not over it, and I’ll never be over it. And from my perspective, I have no idea what this episode meant. Do they teach these strategies to the bullied? Is it just another version of “don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing that it gets to you; they just want a reaction, so if you don’t react, they’ll stop”? (That was the advice I got as if I could avoid reacting to having my heart ripped out and stomped on, even metaphorically.) Do they teach them to the bullies? As if the bullies will listen, as if the bullies think there’s a problem that needs solving (they’re WINNING, why would they think there’s a problem?) or there’s anything they need to learn? The biggest problem I have is that you kept referring to it as a conflict. BULLYING IS NOT A CONFLICT. IT’S AN ATTACK. Calling it a conflict suggests a symmetry, a competitive fairness, that does not exist. Conflict resolution does not help when someone is telling the class you eat your own excrement or making fun of your odd name. What is the conflict supposed to be in that? What resource is being competed for? What do both parties want but only one can have? It’s not conflict. It’s assault. Tell me the social strategy you teach someone to make them no longer enjoy assault or no longer be injured by it. This episode makes me angry because it promises false solutions to the wrong problem.
When I decided to become a teacher, one of my goals was to do something against bullying. Now I am a teacher and let me tell you: this is not as easy as I thought and many of the people here in the comments think. Ok, I am shocked by the many comments that say that a teacher joined in the bullying. I would never do that and the colleagues I know wouldn’t either. But the majority of us do care! We often just don’t know how to intervene. From expereance (as a student) I know if a teacher does tell bullies to stop, it continues after school… And first we have to see it! It’s not always easy. How am I supposed to hear, when someone is wispering mean things? I’m not a super-human! And if I become aware of conflict, it is often not clear, if it is bullying, or a conflict on even ground. I try really hard and continue to improve my skills in that matter. I am in mutual exchange with my colleagues and a child-psychologist. We DO care! Please don’t blame (all) teachers for “everything”.
the way I see it is we’re all capable of bullying because humans are mean we’re animals afterall. just depends on the person, some of us are more selfless than selfish.
Feeling like a victim can be worse for mental health than actually being a victim. We also each experience our life relative to our past experiences. What people in school experience may seem rough, but many of us live each day in much more difficult circumstances and without a second thought that we may be victims. As good as it is to try and prevent something bad, it may be worse to create a generation of people who make themselves victims because they are aware of every small offense. I was bullied in school but never thought of it as bullying. This “bullying” behavior doesn’t end as an adult either. The difference is that we’ve learned how to deal with people who are being dicks, and that’s what we call them. Not bullies. They’re dickheads. We’ve learned how to deescalate aggressive behavior and how to escape it rather than feed it. Also, you never label a person as a bad guy. You label a “bully” as a bully and they will assume that role. They will become that person. They will get worse, and you will call yourself even more of a victim. Labels are very dangerous. It’s unfortunate, but most people will be bullied in school. That’s the way it’s always been and you’ll turn out better if you don’t make a big conscious deal about it. Wearing pink shirts and making pseudo-psych classes about your feelings isn’t how you deal with the problem. The ability to create and enforce relatively mild consequences is. Most of all, an instance of bullying is remedied by time. It’s not something we can change.
This one time at school I stood up for a classmate of mine who was getting bullied and I got bullied by my teachers and other classmate cause I stood up for her for the rest of the school year:/
We just started a great program for SEL at my school called “Second Steps”. It does a really great job teaching younger kids those basic behavioral skills.
I don’t know if this is something that quite fits with the Channel topic, but I personally would love to see some more videos on bullying, such as the aforementioned effects and coping methods for after the fact. Please and thank you.
i keep thinking i learned alot from being bullied, specially by why others pick on me, if you stand out too much they seem to feel a threat so i did my best to not stand out at all, but that’s not what you wanna teach in school that being different is going to get you bullied (or maybe school do want to teach you that?) i think with bullying there is an important factor, how human culture sees different ppl and how it value them. if someone stand out for being smart or not too clever, or for the way the dress or talk it seems the intimidate reaction of some kids and teens is to press on that to make that person very self aware that they are different and as such not following the norm like they are
There are different types of bullying to consider, too. For example, when I was in elementary school, my “best friend” would make fun of me for my height. I was always the shortest person in class, which was fine until the person I trusted started making me think that it was a terribly embarrassing thing. She’d call me names like dwarf, shorty, shrimp, among others, but I would explain it away, thinking that she was just teasing me in a friendly way. We eventually, naturally, grew apart, and I’m still sensitive about my height (even though I’m the same as everyone else now). Sometimes, even the student getting bullied can’t recognize that they are. Sorry for the paragraph
There’s also a big cultural difference between the US and Finland. The US pushes extroversion to the extreme, but in Finland, the opposite is true. They have a very quiet and introverted culture that sounds a lot more restful than the one here.
Sooo… the secret to fighting bullying, is to be a part of children’s lives, and raise them. Shocker. I make it sound pathetic, but it’s really just pathetic that answers like this never come to anyone’s mind when it matters. Left to their own devices, children will do what’s natural; aspire for dominance in a clique! It’s what animals do, peck and poke at eachother until you’re top dog.
Even more shockingly, this evolutionary standard doesn’t work out so well when natural selection is taken out of the formula. Normally, the losers would die off and the winners would breed, but for some reason society seems to demand that the losers just kind of, pick themselves back up, and stop being losers. How silly.
Well, duh. I’m a dog behaviorist, and rewarding positive social interactions in a pack of rescue dogs works better than punishing poor behavior, and the dogs are more likely to work well with other animals and find a forever home.
Do any of these programs help the kids who ARE bullying? I definitely bullied kids in elementary school because my mom was at times verbally abusive. But I was punished and told I was a bad kid. Kids aren’t evil and when they lash out at their peers, 99% of the time it is because they have a ton of emotional issues themselves. Bullying programs won’t work if they don’t intervene so the bullies don’t grow up to be abusive themselves.
I know one strategy that works with a very high frequency vs bullies. Punch them in the face till they are down. They usually stop bothering you after that. I know several teenagers who were bullied at school, including myself. When they finally stood up for themselves and took it to the next level…… no more problem.
Not saying this is optimal strategy in the least but it is a last resort.
I will do everything to avert violence and I tell my kids to do just that. But I tell them if they feel cornered by some some bully punch that kid until he asks for mercy and claim self defense. I always have their backs if they get suspended. I emphasis kindness, empathy, and compassion for the less fortunate. I help the people around me.
I have very bad eye sight since birth. Wearing 1000plus degree glasses per eye. Above 3k for both eyes. I am always picked by bullies for my thick glasses.
When I complain to my form teacher regularly she got pissed and told me off, asking me why those bullies only chose you to pick on and not others. U are such a complain queen and even join the bullies in calling me “4 eye frog” in Chinese.
Schools are a horrifically unnatural social environment, created in just the last 200 years, that we’ve seemed to just accept as normal and proper. Schools ARE the cause (or exacerbation) of a great deal of mental illnesses.
Uh if you sit down with the principal and they tell you to stop bullying are you going to do it? Not a chance. They can’t hold you accountable. You’re just going to make fun of the kid for asking for help.
What works for adults will probably work for kids effective investigations and punishment. Kids know they can’t really get in any serious trouble so why would they behave.
New idea: Teach the Victims how pathetic the Bully’s life must be that he/she needs to put others down to maintain their identity/power…. Then grab the Bully and offer to listen to why they do what they do. Maybe they need help. Maybe they don’t even know it. Maybe they will tell you to go eat yourself…
In both students, though, you’ve planted the seed of doubt. The Victim now doubts the Bully’s actual power/social/familial/confidence position, and the Bully now doubts his own motivations… Win. Win.
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Thanks for the video. Will you publish other videos in the near future that would be helpful to school leaders? If yes, what are some possible topics? I truly find your videos helpful. Thank you.
Getting picked on from infancy by one’s own parents who blame the infant for all of their stupid, miserable adult mistakes (despite being born years into the marriage) is far far worse, because the worst bullies of all are waiting at home for the poor kid.
In elementary my school tried to teach something called “a bug and a wish,” aka this bugs me and I wish you’d stop. It did nothing but make it impossible to use that phrase ever. I’m in high school now and last year someone in staff who tries to resolve student issues suggested that to me and it left me speechless. The professionals can’t even tell when their system is broken.
In early teenagerhood, my little brother got repeatedly bullied, teased, his things stolen, his bike broken. My mother took an appointment with the school headteacher to report the bullying. Reaction? “Oh, we know… it’s a problem… but also… I mean, look at him!”
Same when I was bullied myself and went to the head monitor’s office. “Of course this is happening to you, young lady, look at you!”
I’ll spare you the part when the teachers proceed to list in detail everything wrong with our appearance (not even behaviour, except maybe shy/submissive body language that was obviously DUE to being harassed every single day). (And no, we weren’t dirty or scruffy, or anything ostentatious in any way).
Good luck fighting bullying when teachers actively take part in it…:(
I’m a teacher and the hardest part of bullying for me is recognizing it. Are they playfully teasing or are they bullying? I crack down hard when I detect it.
Hm. There was (almost) no bullying when I was a kid. (I live in central Europe.) The children spent the majority of time with their families. (Parental leave can last up to 4 years.) The teachers were not responsible for teaching social skills, they simply focused on their subjects. We had a few “mean kids” who were somewhat on the bullying side but nobody liked them. Bullying was simply not a popular behaviour, you weren’t considered a hero for being mean to others. (It may be different these days though). Maybe it’s about the parents, not teachers I think the vast majority of families still teaches young children to be nice to each other. I see it everywhere like if a child punches someone on a playground, the mom intervenes and says “no, how would you like it if they punched you?” etc.
Why am I watching this?
I’ve never had a bully everyone was my friend I mean they did fight with eachother but not me
I think this video doesn’t apply on me lol
Lucky me?
(Nah man srsly I really wanna be bullied so I can fight back I’m getting bored)
(I rarely fight my friends when they take things too far but after that nothing happens they are afraid n stuff…)
I don’t understand why doesn’t this society forbid this? I grew up in Latín societies and never experienced or witnessed this type of cruel harassment. Why doesn’t the schools have a no bumlying policy? I I don’t get it.
Learning and training empathy sounds like a really good strategy and is so important.
My understanding is that bullying (or mobbing) is a kind of reproductive strategy. The strongest bully gets the best mates. That is why the social darwinists in charge don’t really want to change it unless their own child is affected. Then they want their child to toughen up and climb up the pecking order instead of creating a more egalitarian and peaceful society. I mean just look how underfunded schools in many countries are.
I believe long term we as a species have to adapt to our changing environment though because we simply can’t afford to be a society of wolfs any more. The stakes are getting too high. I’m not sure if that can be done through culture alone or if long term we’ll need to filter out genetic traits like sociopathy and raise the emotional and technical cognitive abilities so more people are able to learn and understand our increasingly complex society.
“Children who were bullies have a higher chance of growing up to have lower self-esteem and a higher risk of depression.”
Hey, hi. I hear you talking about me.
Teachers in the US are so badly underpaid & overworked, with a crap-ton of things expected of them that should rightly be on the parents. Expecting them to intervene in bullying? Good luck, especially if you’re dealing with a school in a very conservative area that victim-blames.
I was in elementary school when bullying formally became illegal in ohio. they sat us all down in the gym and explained the law (as best as you can to a bunch of kids). All it really did was teach the bullies “as long as your bullying/harassment can sidestep this narrow definition, we won’t stop you.” Things got significantly worse after that school assembly.
Being bullied sucks. In the first grade I was bullied verbally and sometimes physically, although the physical bullying was only done by one specific boy.
It hurts real bad, and the teacher didn’t help. She was honestly just as big as a bully as most of the other students were.
Mostly they teased me about being weird and traits that I know recognize as being apart of my autism and ADHD, but I didn’t have a diagnosis back then. They called me an elf because I was short and said I was as pale as a ghost. They never did any of this to my face but I could hear them. They were only 2 feet anyway and their whispering and laughing wasn’t quiet at all, and I very sensitive hearing.
My teacher was just as bad. I got in trouble for rocking back and forth in my seat and other fidgeting that I did to help myself pay attention, but she never noticed the girls whispering mean things about me to each other and laughing.
Someone who I was friends with in kindergarten had left me to hang out with the kids that were new to the school that year who also happened to be the ones who started the bullying. I wonder if she realized how much those people were bullying or how much that hurt, even if I don’t really blame her. I didn’t ask though. I didn’t know how to.
I had a point but I no longer remember what it is. Regardless, bullying sucks and some kids are more likely to be bullied then others. Younger me didn’t know how to stand up for myself, and communicating that there was a problem was hard for me because I didn’t know how to do that. Saying “tell someone” is all well and good, but it really is easier said than done. I didn’t trust my teachers to do anything, and I didn’t feel like there was a point to tell my mom and dad because they couldn’t go to school with me. Even when I tried people didn’t understand what I was trying to say. “Just tell them to stop”, like that wasn’t one of the first things I tried. Telling them to stop made it worse. Ignoring them didn’t make them stop either. I can think only one instance where someone got in trouble for hurting my that year. Once even though it happened the entire year.
My family moved to a different part of the state the year after that, I went to a school were people were a lot nicer, although I still struggled making friends the students and staff there were kind.
Bullying sucks, and kids like me are more likely to be affected by it. Look out
Like teachers really have the time to hand hold all the kids. What about getting the parents involved. You know, the ones that think their little angel could never be a bully.
When I was in grade school and again in high school, I was bullied by some of my teachers, and other school administrators (over 20 years ago). This was knowingly done. And when I was in high school, the school refused to do anything about it. They chose to blame, and punish me (and the other victims) instead. What is the suggested way to combat that type of bullying? It can’t exactly be brought to anyone’s attention.
Teachers in the US are overworked and underpaid, so it’s no surprise that any study would fall flat. And that seems to be by design to starve the beast and push for more privatization.
Finland: All white people: anti-bullying program works, of course.
USA: People from different races: anti-bullying program fails miserably
Ethnostates proved once again theyre the best, as always.
There are also cultural influences that you have to keep in mind. In many places in the US, police and teachers sometimes harass and bully students of minority races. People with different sexual orientations and gender identities face legal discrimination that rewards bullying behavior. So it’s bigger than any intervention
Mabye teaching psycology to kids in school could make victims & bullies realize why the bullies are bullying, and mabye stop it. It’s alot more important to for society to learn psycology than history, imo.
‘The Social Animal’ has some interesting points about bullying. Basically you could exploit someone’s self justification to make them think the never enjoyed being a bully to begin with if you can cause them enough cognitive dissonance by making them stop bullying but not for a super obvious/scary external reason (so for a very mild incentive instead of to avoid a sever punishment or for a major reward… that’ll only work as long as they’re being watched).
I was bullied all throughout school and there was only one thing that helped me, and it sounds super cliche and a little crazy, but laughter. When people verbally harassed me I would retaliate by laughing at them and leaving. Or I would comment on how they could do better with their insults and turn it into a game. Or I would pretend I didn’t hear them and walk away. I also dressed very goth/punk since gr.5 onwards, so that probably helped make me look a lot more intimidating, so physical bullying seldom happened.
I also had to stand up for my friends a lot (who all had bad home lives as well). Teachers would rarely do anything and the men were the worst! They’d always say things like, “He just had a crush on you” or “Kids will be kids”. Essentially teaching these children abuse is okay and equals affection/normalcy. Ugh. No wonder my mom was constantly fighting teachers/principles. At least I had a mother in my corner. I can’t imagine how I would have been without her, so many of my friends struggled…
throughout my education from 1st all the way to collage.. everytime time when a bullying incident happens the school/collage steps in to fix the situation and prevent it from happening again. so the solution is within the school.. but in the other hand the school personal should be well trained to handle these issues.
We had to pull my daughter out of school because the bullying was so bad (8th grade). The tipping point was when we found out that her teacher was contributing to it. Now she’s in a school where the teachers are proactive and every negative event is taken seriously and dealt with immediately. She feels safer and there’s no systemic bullying.
Most effective way is just to beat their faces in, telling makes it worse doing nothing keeps it the same, I’ve been to 12 different schools all the same things, pick on new kid new kid crys bullies go harder I beat their faces in get suspended for 3 days don’t got worry about bullies at that school anymore I might be emotional but I can sure as heck fight
Sometimes nothing you can teach a bully will make them stop, they’re doing it because they want to be cruel, they want the feeling of power over others. The only thing you can do is fight.
when I was in elementary school it was around the time that schools were implementing a zero-tolerance policy and I kept to myself and didn’t really have many kids because my dad was unfaithful to his wife which everyone knew and my mom was hurt by it. seeing her cry like that killed me inside and I just kept to myself. one day some kid started just hitting and kicking me and I just stood there and took it because I knew if I fought back I would get in trouble not to mention I couldn’t stomach hurting someone else like I got hit and I was a strong kid and had to watch my temper. I did nothing and ended up with bruises yet I get punished with getting suspended and lectured by adults that thought I did anything. kids are wickedly cruel but adults are worse, you look to them to protect you or help you but they never do and in fact, cause more harm by locking kids in windowless small rooms because you were “disruptive”, alone and feeling guilty and not knowing why.
compassion is so needed in our society it just sickens me that we treat each other so bitterly over the dumbest stuff… one thing that stuck with me being raised by cartoons pretty much was from the show Doug, when his dad said to him “show me a man that resorts for violence and I will show you a man who has run out of good ideas.” I understand when people are at their wit’s end that they give in to their frustrations and lose their sanity for a moment and can do what in normal terms would be thought of as unthinkable… but given the frustration and not knowing what else to do you just want it to stop and you end up smacking the back of your child’s head so hard that their vision goes for like 10 seconds, it’s what my dad would call a “tuneup”. I don’t hate him for it but he showed me how to never treat another person. we are all flawed creatures and forgiveness is important.
kids start out dumb but it is our teaching them and being good teachers that can mean all the difference to a kid… they learn quick.
congratulations to whoever actually read this long comment! and if you or someone you know has gone through similar things, know that you are not alone and there are good people out there <3
As a teacher, I appreciate this. I’ll look into my own practice and see how much of that I do, and try adding more of it if needed!
I don’t even know what bullying is at this point.
I was ostracized and reviled for most of my childhood for a multitude of reasons. But, because I was a girl with an obvious physical disability… it was never physical. I had next to no friends growing up and people were very mean and scheming… trying to bring the “teacher’s pet” (me) down. I didn’t think it was “bullying” I thought it was part-and-parcel of a cut-throat world. I stood up for myself and fought back I never saw myself as a victim.
So was that bullying or not?
I came from a community very different from the US… I don’t know what to make of anything. Sometimes I wonder if I was just asking for it all…. other times, I wonder why everyone was always so apprehensive and unstable around me.
I have trouble trusting anyone now. Also have pretty severe depression and anxiety.
Correlation or causation or none of the above?
Idk.
Idk what narrative I must tell myself when someone asks me about my childhood.
You are wrong. I was bullied as a child. The only thing that reduced the bullying was people standing up for me and me standing up for others being bullied. I also made friends with other kids who were outcasts and bullied. It seems that bullies avoid groups of people. There is safety in numbers. Telling teachers never did any good, very few did anything to stop it.
Most of the bullies picked on people who they know they don’t have people who can defend them, say parents or teachers or whoever, so they can get away with it no matter how many times they do it.
Thanks for making this. Now the big thing is, how do we get more teachers to have access to social emotional learning strategies and training? It’s almost like it could use a free source of quick info that could also include videos to spark class discussions.
“Unknowingly harass” yeah, right. Teachers know full well what they’re doing. I hold more contempt for the teachers who encouraged and initiated the bullying I received as a child than the children who joined in. Kids learn from the behavior of adults.
The things is though… A bully usually seeks out the weakest of the ‘prey’, and in a human society scenario, that means the ones that won’t fight back or won’t tell, aka no consequences. And those that don’t fight back or tell probably has parents that have problems of their own.
Kids often think that any kind of problem the adults have is because of them. “If I were a better daughter/son/child.” “If I weren’t such a burden.”…etc; (Even though it’s not the child’s responsibility to keep a family stable, safe and healthy, they would still think that.)
So…When a kid senses something wrong with the adults, even if it’s a minor thing, they will try their best to not be a burden. So they WON’T tell their parents or teachers, and the bullies that instinctively take advantage of it will continue to bully. It’s not as easy as telling a child “Just tell us.” Because the last thing they want is to give you or any adult more trouble.
Confidence and skill are the solution. A confident kid is less bothered by bullying and bullies don’t feel very powerful when their words don’t have an affect. Second, skill because bullies can be physical. I grew up bullied and martial arts gave me the confidence to not let it bother me and the skill to deal with anything physical. Finding a good group of friends can also help because they you might be a loser, but you are not alone.
Bullying starts at home and then gets compounded by the school environment. Age-segregated, lockstep, classroom-based education distances children from both the freedom and guidance they need to meet their potential to grow both intellectually and socially. Bullying is a problem that shouldn’t even be able to exist. Abolishing the educational system in its current form, and in turn educating parents and communities to better guide and accommodate the needs of children, is how this problem gets fixed.
I have an idea, why not rely on social engineers for strategies to prevent bullying instead of psychologists? We tend to be better at changing someone’s behavior.
I expected a generalized piece of bull** and got a well-differentiated take in under 5 minutes. I keep expecting the worst and am again and again pleasantly surprised. This is what we need.
When I was a kid, the teachers would actively tell me to stop “tattling” on the kids bullying me. I was told to stand up for myself, but in the event I ever did (even just verbally) I got in trouble, but the kids bullying me never did. The teachers responding or caring in any way is the main thing that can make a difference, which is why these programs fail in America. Many teachers treat bullying like it’s just an annoyance to them, with no concern to its affect on children. If it’s more effort than ignoring yelping children, then they won’t do it.
It’s what the author of the book “the body keeps the score” says: there no such thing such as a trouble child. Not to justify the action any bullies, but a bully is someone who is calling for attention by the wrong means. Unfortunately, maybe because it was the only “efficient” way it found for. By doing so, it’s too bad it hurts others.
I was bullied in elementary school. It all ended with afew fights. Basically a developed a backbone and they backed down. For afew other people I went to school with couldn’t and/or wouldn’t take the same path. I dont believe there is an end to bullying but I do believe it can be reduced greatly. I still live in the camp of if you can stand up and not back down do so but we should find ways to help those who can’t confront the issue head on. Also from my experiences it seemed the bullies had emotional problems that they learned to take out on other classmates because they could. Doesn’t justify the bullying but insight on where this is coming from could help. This is kinda why I think this will always be a problem. Its something that will always manifest itself.
I endured nearly all of elementary school with kids bullying me and most of the teachers backing the bully. I would be told by the grown up not to tattle, or if I responded to the bully, the teacher would fuss at me. When I told them what happened, all I’d get was “You don’t have to do it back.”
As an adult, however, I understand better how well some of the bullies can hide what they’re doing. I certainly don’t want anyone going through what I did, but when the bully is sneaky about it and then acts all innocent when they’re reported, it’s difficult to know what to do.
I think ultimately it’s a matter of adults respecting children and showing every child that they are valuable. When the grown up values you and treats you with respect, who the heck cares what the little kid next to you thinks? I look back and realize that was my problem. The adults, the people who I looked to for guidance, were effectively telling me, “They bully’s right.”
I’m 66 years old, and to my surprise simply listening to this episode made my pulse go up and my chest feel tight. (If I believed in such things, I’d say I needed a trigger warning but it wouldn’t have done any good, because my reaction was unexpected.) I was teased in school and teasing is now folded into bullying (when I was a child they were considered completely separate teasing was verbal, bullying was physical) and I’m not over it, and I’ll never be over it. And from my perspective, I have no idea what this episode meant. Do they teach these strategies to the bullied? Is it just another version of “don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing that it gets to you; they just want a reaction, so if you don’t react, they’ll stop”? (That was the advice I got as if I could avoid reacting to having my heart ripped out and stomped on, even metaphorically.) Do they teach them to the bullies? As if the bullies will listen, as if the bullies think there’s a problem that needs solving (they’re WINNING, why would they think there’s a problem?) or there’s anything they need to learn? The biggest problem I have is that you kept referring to it as a conflict. BULLYING IS NOT A CONFLICT. IT’S AN ATTACK. Calling it a conflict suggests a symmetry, a competitive fairness, that does not exist. Conflict resolution does not help when someone is telling the class you eat your own excrement or making fun of your odd name. What is the conflict supposed to be in that? What resource is being competed for? What do both parties want but only one can have? It’s not conflict. It’s assault. Tell me the social strategy you teach someone to make them no longer enjoy assault or no longer be injured by it. This episode makes me angry because it promises false solutions to the wrong problem.
When I decided to become a teacher, one of my goals was to do something against bullying. Now I am a teacher and let me tell you: this is not as easy as I thought and many of the people here in the comments think.
Ok, I am shocked by the many comments that say that a teacher joined in the bullying. I would never do that and the colleagues I know wouldn’t either.
But the majority of us do care! We often just don’t know how to intervene. From expereance (as a student) I know if a teacher does tell bullies to stop, it continues after school…
And first we have to see it! It’s not always easy. How am I supposed to hear, when someone is wispering mean things? I’m not a super-human! And if I become aware of conflict, it is often not clear, if it is bullying, or a conflict on even ground.
I try really hard and continue to improve my skills in that matter. I am in mutual exchange with my colleagues and a child-psychologist.
We DO care!
Please don’t blame (all) teachers for “everything”.
the way I see it is we’re all capable of bullying because humans are mean we’re animals afterall. just depends on the person, some of us are more selfless than selfish.
Feeling like a victim can be worse for mental health than actually being a victim. We also each experience our life relative to our past experiences. What people in school experience may seem rough, but many of us live each day in much more difficult circumstances and without a second thought that we may be victims. As good as it is to try and prevent something bad, it may be worse to create a generation of people who make themselves victims because they are aware of every small offense. I was bullied in school but never thought of it as bullying. This “bullying” behavior doesn’t end as an adult either. The difference is that we’ve learned how to deal with people who are being dicks, and that’s what we call them. Not bullies. They’re dickheads. We’ve learned how to deescalate aggressive behavior and how to escape it rather than feed it. Also, you never label a person as a bad guy. You label a “bully” as a bully and they will assume that role. They will become that person. They will get worse, and you will call yourself even more of a victim. Labels are very dangerous.
It’s unfortunate, but most people will be bullied in school. That’s the way it’s always been and you’ll turn out better if you don’t make a big conscious deal about it. Wearing pink shirts and making pseudo-psych classes about your feelings isn’t how you deal with the problem. The ability to create and enforce relatively mild consequences is. Most of all, an instance of bullying is remedied by time. It’s not something we can change.
This one time at school I stood up for a classmate of mine who was getting bullied and I got bullied by my teachers and other classmate cause I stood up for her for the rest of the school year:/
Do you think that playing games where reading other people would have an effect? Games where you have to bluff like Coup or other card games?
I was bullied when I was a kid. And yea it lowered my self-esteem but it also made me do my best to prove em wrong and outclass em.
TIP: Give non-bullies guns
We just started a great program for SEL at my school called “Second Steps”. It does a really great job teaching younger kids those basic behavioral skills.
I don’t know if this is something that quite fits with the Channel topic, but I personally would love to see some more videos on bullying, such as the aforementioned effects and coping methods for after the fact. Please and thank you.
i keep thinking i learned alot from being bullied, specially by why others pick on me, if you stand out too much they seem to feel a threat so i did my best to not stand out at all, but that’s not what you wanna teach in school that being different is going to get you bullied (or maybe school do want to teach you that?) i think with bullying there is an important factor, how human culture sees different ppl and how it value them. if someone stand out for being smart or not too clever, or for the way the dress or talk it seems the intimidate reaction of some kids and teens is to press on that to make that person very self aware that they are different and as such not following the norm like they are
There are different types of bullying to consider, too. For example, when I was in elementary school, my “best friend” would make fun of me for my height. I was always the shortest person in class, which was fine until the person I trusted started making me think that it was a terribly embarrassing thing. She’d call me names like dwarf, shorty, shrimp, among others, but I would explain it away, thinking that she was just teasing me in a friendly way. We eventually, naturally, grew apart, and I’m still sensitive about my height (even though I’m the same as everyone else now). Sometimes, even the student getting bullied can’t recognize that they are. Sorry for the paragraph
There’s also a big cultural difference between the US and Finland. The US pushes extroversion to the extreme, but in Finland, the opposite is true. They have a very quiet and introverted culture that sounds a lot more restful than the one here.
Sooo… the secret to fighting bullying, is to be a part of children’s lives, and raise them. Shocker. I make it sound pathetic, but it’s really just pathetic that answers like this never come to anyone’s mind when it matters. Left to their own devices, children will do what’s natural; aspire for dominance in a clique! It’s what animals do, peck and poke at eachother until you’re top dog.
Even more shockingly, this evolutionary standard doesn’t work out so well when natural selection is taken out of the formula. Normally, the losers would die off and the winners would breed, but for some reason society seems to demand that the losers just kind of, pick themselves back up, and stop being losers. How silly.
Well, duh. I’m a dog behaviorist, and rewarding positive social interactions in a pack of rescue dogs works better than punishing poor behavior, and the dogs are more likely to work well with other animals and find a forever home.
Do any of these programs help the kids who ARE bullying? I definitely bullied kids in elementary school because my mom was at times verbally abusive. But I was punished and told I was a bad kid. Kids aren’t evil and when they lash out at their peers, 99% of the time it is because they have a ton of emotional issues themselves. Bullying programs won’t work if they don’t intervene so the bullies don’t grow up to be abusive themselves.
My schooling experience:
Student: gets bullied
Student: tells teacher
Teacher: tries intervening
Student: gets bullied harder
Teacher: gives up
I know one strategy that works with a very high frequency vs bullies. Punch them in the face till they are down. They usually stop bothering you after that. I know several teenagers who were bullied at school, including myself. When they finally stood up for themselves and took it to the next level…… no more problem.
Not saying this is optimal strategy in the least but it is a last resort.
I will do everything to avert violence and I tell my kids to do just that. But I tell them if they feel cornered by some some bully punch that kid until he asks for mercy and claim self defense. I always have their backs if they get suspended. I emphasis kindness, empathy, and compassion for the less fortunate. I help the people around me.
I have very bad eye sight since birth. Wearing 1000plus degree glasses per eye. Above 3k for both eyes. I am always picked by bullies for my thick glasses.
When I complain to my form teacher regularly she got pissed and told me off, asking me why those bullies only chose you to pick on and not others. U are such a complain queen and even join the bullies in calling me “4 eye frog” in Chinese.
Schools are a horrifically unnatural social environment, created in just the last 200 years, that we’ve seemed to just accept as normal and proper. Schools ARE the cause (or exacerbation) of a great deal of mental illnesses.
Uh if you sit down with the principal and they tell you to stop bullying are you going to do it? Not a chance. They can’t hold you accountable. You’re just going to make fun of the kid for asking for help.
What works for adults will probably work for kids effective investigations and punishment. Kids know they can’t really get in any serious trouble so why would they behave.
New idea:
Teach the Victims how pathetic the Bully’s life must be that he/she needs to put others down to maintain their identity/power…. Then grab the Bully and offer to listen to why they do what they do. Maybe they need help. Maybe they don’t even know it. Maybe they will tell you to go eat yourself…
In both students, though, you’ve planted the seed of doubt. The Victim now doubts the Bully’s actual power/social/familial/confidence position, and the Bully now doubts his own motivations… Win. Win.
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Thanks for the video. Will you publish other videos in the near future that would be helpful to school leaders? If yes, what are some possible topics? I truly find your videos helpful. Thank you.