10 Methods for Adults to Heal From Childhood Bullying

 

Men Respond To Their Childhood Bullies

Video taken from the channel: As/Is


 

Childhood Trauma Symptom In Adults

Video taken from the channel: Live On Purpose TV


 

Overcoming the impact of childhood bullying as an adult

Video taken from the channel: Associated Psychology Practice Penrith


 

If You’ve Ever Been Bullied Then Watch This | Russell Brand

Video taken from the channel: Russell Brand


 

Can being bullied as a child lead to depression as an adult? #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

Video taken from the channel: Kati Morton


 

Does childhood bullying have long term impacts? | Jennifer Fraser | TEDxLangaraCollege

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


 

Bullying Exerts Psychiatric Effects Into Adulthood

Video taken from the channel: National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)


Childhood bullying effects do not vanish as you grow up. As a matter of fact, studies show that adults who experienced childhood bullying have a high risk of having suicidal thoughts, and suffering from depression and anxiety disorders. Nonetheless, you are not hopeless because you can recover from the effects of childhood or teenage bullying. B ullying doesn’t hurt you just when you’re a kid.

In fact, the impact of childhood bullying can haunt you long past school years and well into adulthood. Recent research shows that bullying can cause social anxiety, shame, anger, and low self-esteem in adults, and as a result, individuals who were once bullied may continue making “safe” or “defensive” choices instead of choosing bolder. Become aware of sensitivities that may arise or triggers that remind you of something from your childhood. This can be a good indication that the bullying you felt as a child is still a big trigger for you. Consider Therapy.

Especially if the bullying that you experienced was severe, it is important to get yourself into some counseling services. Talking and mourning the sadness and humiliation you felt as a child will help. Perhaps you experienced these or other types of childhood bullying, or bullying in adolescence or adulthood. You can recover from bullying.

You can improve your self esteem and confidence despite negative experiences. Whether you experienced mild bullying, such as occasional teasing, or severe bullying, you have the ability to recover. Childhood bullying can leave mental scars that affect you long into your adult life. Fortunately though we can recover.

There’s enough neural plasticity in our brains to undo the damage that bullying does, provided we’re willing to face the emotions that we were forced to suppress when the bullying occurred. How Therapy Helps Heal the Scars of Childhood Bullying; as an adult and not a child, and resettling those emotions into a place that makes it. If you suspect your child is being bullied or your child has reported bullying, take the following steps: Ensure safety. Support your child by explaining that you want them to be safe and that you will take steps to protect their safety and end the bullying.

Learn details. Ask your child to describe what happened. Keep a record of details. Keep.

While life can get better, the repercussions of bullying don’t leave victims unscathed as adults. Countless research studies have supported the tragic long-term outcomes of childhood trauma. A recent Iowa State University study found that childhood bullies may very well grow into adult bullies.

Of the participants, those with a history of childhood bullying were six times more likely. Look at the symptoms of bullying that have affected your health; Now, it is time to look after you. So have a think about any health issues such as depression, anxiety, phobias, insomnia, PTSD, confidence or self-esteem issues and make a plan for recovery..

This might include a visit to your local doctor, an appointment with a psychologist, a short course of anti-depressants, taking up yoga or.

List of related literature:

Increase adult supervision in places where bullying occurs.

“Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age” by Robin M. Kowalski, Susan P. Limber, Patricia W. Agatston
from Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age
by Robin M. Kowalski, Susan P. Limber, Patricia W. Agatston
Wiley, 2009

Interventions to reduce bullying.

“Handbook of Social Work Practice with Vulnerable and Resilient Populations” by Alex Gitterman
from Handbook of Social Work Practice with Vulnerable and Resilient Populations
by Alex Gitterman
Columbia University Press, 2014

Until we see bullying as the attachment disorder it truly is, our remedies are unlikely to make much difference.

“Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers” by Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté, MD
from Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
by Gordon Neufeld, Gabor Maté, MD
Random House Publishing Group, 2008

• Have a zero-tolerance policy toward teasing and bullying in the OT department • Teach children and adolescents constructive strategies to stop any bullying they experience.

“Pediatric Skills for Occupational Therapy Assistants E-Book” by Jean W. Solomon, Jane Clifford O'Brien
from Pediatric Skills for Occupational Therapy Assistants E-Book
by Jean W. Solomon, Jane Clifford O’Brien
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2014

Research into the attitudes of children towards victims of bullying (Rigby & Slee 1991) indicates that the majority of children studied (approximately 80 per cent from year 4 to year 10) were supportive of victims.

“Child, Adolescent and Family Development” by Phillip T. Slee
from Child, Adolescent and Family Development
by Phillip T. Slee
Cambridge University Press, 2002

Victim strategies to stop bullying.

“Bullying Scars: The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships” by Ellen Walser deLara
from Bullying Scars: The Impact on Adult Life and Relationships
by Ellen Walser deLara
Oxford University Press, 2016

There are many additional programs available that purport to decrease the incidence of bullying.

“Encyclopedia of Adolescence” by Roger J.R. Levesque
from Encyclopedia of Adolescence
by Roger J.R. Levesque
Springer New York, 2014

These programs have had variable success; some have had little impact, while some have shown success in reducing bully and victim prevalence rates by up to 50 percent (Smith, 2019).

“The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Human Behavior” by Lance Workman, Will Reader, Jerome H. Barkow
from The Cambridge Handbook of Evolutionary Perspectives on Human Behavior
by Lance Workman, Will Reader, Jerome H. Barkow
Cambridge University Press, 2020

Bully–victims were at greatest risk both in childhood and as adults for depression, anxiety, and suicidality.

“Psychiatry” by Allan Tasman, Jerald Kay, Jeffrey A. Lieberman, Michael B. First, Michelle Riba
from Psychiatry
by Allan Tasman, Jerald Kay, et. al.
Wiley, 2015

Bullying can also carry into adulthood with hazardous results.

“Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” by Judith Orloff
from Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life
by Judith Orloff
Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale, 2009

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
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Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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176 comments

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  • My bully was my father. It happened everyday as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning. I wasn’t able to stop this bullying until last year after my Mom died. I’m 50 years old and am finally free. The scars have left permanent damage to my brain and body. I had cancer at 19 years old and severe endometriosis, I’ve had 10 surgeries, 2 of which were life threatening. I have had a life time of physical and emotional pain. I’m a survivor, but at times I barely hang on, it is still hard, the abuse is trapped in my body. I am lucky that I have access to a great therapist and a loving husband. If you are suffering and abused you are not alone, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Please reach out for help, there are good and caring therapists and people out there.

  • We don’t choose our parents..We don’t choose when were born..We don’t choose where were born..We don’t choose how we look…and We don’t choose when we leave…knowing this is true for every soul on earth, enjoy every moment you have because We don’t choose how many moment’s we receive. Share the positive freely with all..and refuse to let anything or anyone take it away

  • Thank you for answering my question it really helped but I have another question.. Can people be triggers? For example I just fell out with my bestfriend but when she ignores me or I see photos of us both it automatically makes me want to self harm, what should I do?

  • Read Vincenzo Russo’s self-published book “Keeping in Touch with Cheryl: A Memoir”.   Peter Goers O.A.M., ABC Adelaide Radio Night Presenter described the book as a “Fascinating story of immigration, redemption, love, grief and solitude”.   The author recalls the various struggles, include childhood traumas, over a period spanning some 60 or so years while contending with an ever changing world. Regardless of what the experience, one always felt alone and it always seems that their inner voice was screaming out but, no one was listening or paying attention to them.   Visit: VincenzoRusso.com.au for details.

  • As a therapist, I’d be particularly interested in your point of view on the bullying I just experienced from a physician. She used a mental health condition that was wholly irrelevant, and shamed me and dragged me, using it as a weapon. Horrible behavior and from a physician. If you do end up checking out the video I made (not likely) please feel free to send a bill ��

  • Ah… Russel.. you are an inspiration to me. I live with Bipolar I and it…it’s hard. So hard at times. Thank you for being you, being authentic, and just speaking the truth. Thank you �� Love and peace be with you

  • I asked that question about losing weight in december 2013 and you were right… I have relapsed and now it’s worse than before.
    I didn’t realize that I could really relapse, I believed that I was just getting more in control.

  • Hi kati, i love your videos.. i was wondering if u could help me.. im living with my mum and brother.. they are both always mentally bully me. always putting me down comparing me with other ppl.. like im worthless.. i feel wortherless.. i cant even move out because my mother uses emotional blackmail to keep me here.. im 28yrs old.. i tried talking to them telling them how i feel and wat making me hurt andgry and suicdial.. they say ok and keep doing it again and again.. now i just mostly stay in my room when im at home.. on my bed watching youtube.. plz help me..

  • I used to get bullied since I had a blocked tear duct and they said “ha, crybaby “
    they are now one of the worst kids in my school academically

  • What can someone do if there is no financial possibility to be in therapy after being tormented for about 15 years?
    Of course I am asking God for His help but it is somehow difficult for me to cope with church because the abuse I went through was done by religious people who were holding the Bible and were using verses from it as a mask for their darkness.
    I know it is my responsibility to do whatever I can to fix myself but it seems not to be possible at the moment.
    Is there a way to be healed
    without any counseling at all?
    The best thing I have discovered to do for myself is forget about it and leave it in the past but it keeps popping up in several areas of my life.

  • The kids at my school so rachet like damn they bout to beat you up just for defending yourself (this might just be me being dramatic)

  • Hi Russell! I dreamt of you last night, it was really weird and spiritual. My mission was to not get distracted by ego whilst passing different ego challenges.

    I feel our connectedness when listening to and look at your videos. It’s easier to feel like it more with some than others, atleast in this state of my trancending journey.
    Thank you for being a great teacher both in my awaken state and when dreaming.

  • After being in a job for 2 years new management came in and slowly but surely one by one the staff dropping like flies. Bullying, segregating, and no one to go to when support is needed. I handed in my notice. I didn’t make it to the end of it. I quit last week. DON’T LET PEOPLE FK WITH UR MENTAL HEALTH! Namaste!

  • I was a very overweight child growing up, I was bullied by classmates and received so much criticism from my mother that even after losing 200lbs, having a beautiful girlfriend and lots of friends who tell me I’m a handsome and nice person, I still deal with so much insecurity and low self esteem. My self worth has gone up significantly. I’m aware of what I can do. I suffer from ADHD and was recently prescribed medication that has helped me focus a bit, but I still have obsessive thoughts about everything “wrong” with myself and my life and everything I “should” and “need” to do. These past few months I’ve felt very detached from my emotions that aren’t negative ones. I know this is going to be a long battle, I just need to vent somewhere.

  • This is less about informing ppl about symptoms. I appreciate what you’re doing and focus on being a survivor and not the victim is 100% but this felt very patronizing and void of helpful information of which the title suggests. This almost down plays the painful symptoms ppl experience after trauma and how important it is become knowledgable about why you hurt. I wouldn’t recommend this to persons who are in the beginning phases of their healing process but those already knowledgeable and well on their way. I’m sandwich complimenting now, but I do respect the positive message about lesson to be learned and the importance of developing yourself as a survivor rather than victim.

  • Hi Katie!! I love your videos and have watched every single one of them, and i was wondering you could make an ORTHOREXIA VIDEO since the last and only one that youve made was like 3 years ago! thanks for everything!!

  • Absolutely love your videos, very knowledgeable and i am learning a lot (i love learning). Thought i might share the moment ive been waiting for (and still am) all winter. Im anxiously waiting for the new riding arena (horses) to be built so i can train my 3 horses and better myself as a rider/horse looker afterer. Ive spent every second of the last few months daydreaming about how im going to train each horse and fit their training into their daily routine. The arena is almost done and im so exited to be able to train my boys again (currently have nowhere safe to train my boys due to uneven ground and field being under 3ft of mud) Im most exited to watch how my horses change shape duren their training and gain muscle. EEEKKKK!!!!

  • I have been bullied for 2 years cause me to have breakdown sever anxiety and lost lots my boyfriend my friends and I lost time with my daughter after all this they made me redundant because my sickness this is have to stop ✋

  • The thing with bullying is that you never notice that your “friend” or”friends” are bullying you until someone maybe a bystander tells you that you’re the victim. You become shocked and think “no it can’t be me, why me?” but the reality is that it happens to most people. Anyone watching this, if you’re a bystander TAKE ACTION DON’T LET THE ABUSE HAPPEN because it would affect the person for the rest of their life and even cause suicide. Mental health is not something to be joked with, it is an issue that the majority of the population faces sometime in their life and if they are experiencing problems, they should talk to someone who they trust or a professional psychologist. I had a friend who was autistic and she was bullied by friends and family because she was an easy target and could not read the warning signs, the things that those people said to her, changed her for the rest of her life as she experiences depression and low self-esteem because those STUPID people kept kicking her when she was down. She was a bright student. She did not think she was smart and as a result, her marks in school began to decrease as the abuse kept happening. Please don’t repeat the same mistakes she made, if someone is either being a manipulative or a full-on bully please tell someone don’t keep silent because that will make it worse and it never solves anything.

  • According to medicinenet, bullying is a risk factor for clinical depression. Furthermore they say that both bullies and those being bullied have risks.

  • @ live on purpose tv do you have any recommendations on books to read? Assessments to possibly take? How to overcome the trauma? My personality is very jacked up and I’m close to losing my family

  • Hi Kati,
    How do you get over the feeling of people leaving you/ not caring about you. When my past 2 therapists ended my sessions with them I ended up just not going back and I don’t really know why, I just felt the need to.

  • One of my best friends( we were much closer a few years ago but changed since she was in hospital a lot)suffers from a disease called HAE and developed chronic pain from that. She is suicidal and depressive and she also sees and hear things, for example the voices made her scratch all up her arm and she has no control over this. Her family, doctors and counsellors all know but I was just wondering what I could do as a friend to support her, also I am slightly scared that the voices in her head will tell her to hurt me.

  • I don’t care if people don’t like me.
    I want to learn how to get over the times people have been incredibly unkind to me, the hurt i feel.
    Even the anger (which comes from hurt).
    This is from childhood on into adulthood.
    Because people are assholes.
    I have been in many abusive situations with bullies in workplaces.

  • Depression is not as simple of going to a therapist & processing trauma. First of all, most people who suffer from severe depression do not have the money, education, motivation, or access to talk therapy. Second, the success rate from talk therapy is very dismal! Third, most people or therapists cannot pin depression down to an event in ones life. Depression often “just occurs”, & is a symptom of a vastly complex cognitive malfunction. We know less than 0.001% about the human mind.
    Periods of remission are possible, for some people, with different modalities of treatment, but the disease is progressive & there is no cure

  • Hi Kati I need your help. I’ve been diagnosed with an eating disorder a few years ago and during one of my sessions my therapist decided to go over the criteria with me and told me I don’t fit it anymore but rather disordered eating mostly because I’m within a normal BMI ( hopefully saying that is allowed sorry if it’s not). My nutritionist says otherwise saying that I’m still in the early stages of recovery and it has to do with the strong Ed voice. Why is the label so important to me that when she says disordered eating I get upset. Maybe it’s because I feel like I’m not doing a good enough job at it anymore. Was it wrong for her to go over the criteria with me. My nutritionist wants to speak with her but I don’t want my therapist to get mad. I love your videos Kati!

  • Like everyone else..I’m so happy you’re coming to the UK just wish you weren’t 400miles away. Still nice to know you’re close:-) thanks for all you do and have a wonderful time in bonny Scotland! x

  • It can damage so badly childhood abuse it can ruin rest of one’s adult life meeting further abusive people in relationships and can take rest of one’s life to get over the grief can last a lifetime

  • I got bullied growing up it got worse in junior high and in high school escalated and led me to develop depression at 15 and also other issues. I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 1 at 19. I have anxiety sometimes too.

  • Hey Kati. I’ve been really sick lately (stomach ulcer my doctors believe) causing me to lose my appetite. It’s made it hard for me to eat because I can’t keep food down but now my parents think I’m forcing myself to throw up like I used to. This is not the case! I also lost some weight but it’s because I’m sick. What do I do? I don’t want to keep eating food to please my parents only to not be able to keep it down.

  • i was bullied throughout my school years for reasons that i dont even know. apparently my big bro had always stood up for me. when my brother moved to another school, they started attacking me physically. i had no personal boundaries for 5 years. they even targetted my siblings. all that because of an accusation that they made without any proof. they accused my dad of being a snitch, telling their parents about what happened. i swore when i graduated school to never see their faces again nor hear their names. it scarred me until now. i am just insecure, paranoid and suspects everyone as a bully.

  • Kati, Can you explain your understanding of touch therapy and its effectiveness? When do you think it is appropriate to use in therapy? Is there any information or resources out there about touch therapy concerning PTSD or OCD? Not much therapy like massage but maybe recalibrating understanding of good touch bad touch to minimize a persons reaction to everyday people touches…

  • I’ve been emotionally bullied by an ex lover and his friends, that scares me far more than the mobbing I got through at work. I would love not to be so terrified of them and walk freely around the city, but I seem I cannot do it. I feel ashamed I didn’t react (I froze in fear and shame) and that after all this years I am still traumatized and afraid of them.

  • bullying can impact you for life. here are some ways:
    Your low self esteem from the bullying will make it harder for you to make friends later in life
    You will get bullied at work and therefore not be promoted, likely to quit jobs
    You will always feel ugly no matter how many people tell you otherwise
    You will not feel worthy of love and end up in an abusive relationship
    You will suffer mental health issues like depression, panic disorder, anxiety, agorophobia
    You will suffer physical health conditions related to ongoing stress or distress
    You will “relive” the bullying at times even decades later
    It can make you angry for life

  • I was a big kid who was bullied. When I defended myself, I was a bully. If I did nothing, I was a pussy. I wanted to fit in. Instead I stood out.

  • Hi Katie, I’m having trouble at school and at home at the moment. I feel that I have; social anxiety, depression,OCD and maybe an Eating Disorder. I’m 13 and at School an  Im getting severely bullied at school. I go to my school counsellor but I haven’t told them about the condiotions above which I think I have. I really don’t want my parents to know about this as I feel that they won’t trust me with anything or give me much less opportunities. Is it possible that you could give me some advise, and send it to [email protected] or just leave  it down here. Thank You so much and I’m so glad I’ve  found you.  Alisha xx

  • I’ve been bullied in the workplace throughout my adult life. In different places. It has had a snowball effect. It has made me nervous and insecure, which I in turn carry into the next job, where a different group of people pick up on my insecurities and target me. I take it personally, have really bad mental health problems, and either leave, or, occasionally, complain to management. It’s usually denied by the bullies. Sometimes it stops. Then I go somewhere else and it starts all over again. I wish I could snap out of it.

  • Did you make any videos about treatment of these problems? I have a soon to be ex-spouse (if she keeps running away) who has run from people and relationships constantly. She didn’t get married until 35 the first time in her life (to me…yeah, I didn’t expect the mess I inherited so I made lots of mistakes). She keeps blaming everyone else for her reactions but is so flighty and paranoid she won’t get professional help because she sees those helpers as “out to get her and label her”. She admits she was sexually abused at least twice as a teen and from sounds of her horrible family life she was likely abused by someone else at much younger ages as well. She knows she was neglected at minimum. She admits her sister was abuse at much younger ages, who is her same age. Please help with any videos I can send her. Maybe she’ll listen to them in hiding and stop wrecking our family. Thank you!

  • I was bullied in elementary and high school even though I was confident and smart some people just did not like me for reasons that do not concern me. It was tough to overcome, but I did it. The past made me this strong, blessed individual with wonderful potential. I know I am loved by those that matter and that’s all that really matters. God does not make mistakes and he has already dealt with those bullies. Sometimes the bullies lives sucks even more than ours and that’s why we should forgive them and just send love their way. What happened to us is not our fault and I hope we all heal from things that should no longer haunt us ❤❤❤

  • Sorry, pastors, churches are NOT therapists. They do NOT have the skillset or the training to help people process bullying. They may like to wish and think they do, but they don’t. That’s why they can only call them counsellors, and they always counsel with church teachings, even if it does not help. So please, do NOT go to any religious group. They always do more harm than good.

  • I mean when ur sister says something mean it’s not bullying just your sister being a little mean but honestly that’s what sisters are supposed to do annoy you

  • My mom showed favorites. My younger sister was the black sheep of the family and my mom absolutely hates her and still hates her to this day. To get myself out of trouble when I was younger, I would deflect the blame on my sisters so I wouldn’t get a beating cuz I was terrified of my mom and when I was growing up, I would despise my sister bc she would cause my moms anger and to this day I absolutely despise my sister as much as my mom does.

  • By chance i was listening to the force theme while watching this, i dint its uist it very well!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb2zuegwcwk

  • I have an older sister who struggled with severe anorexia when she was about 20 and it was extremely painful for me to watch and I could not understand why she would do that (I was about 15 at the time). When I was 18 I developed anorexia. I’m currently almost 21 and doing minnie maud recovery and have gained about half of the weight back already.:) Anyway, do you think that subconsciously I could have compared myself to my sister’s thinness even though at the time it was so sad and awful to me? Kind of a confusing question, but I’ve heard a lot about genetics in eating disorders. I also know other things such as perfectionism and control contributed to my eating disorder, but I never quite understood how I could let this happen to me when I saw how awful it was for my sister. Thanks!

  • Cyber bullying is really bad. Since I’ve started subscribing to some YouTube channels and some news channels on fb, I’ve been hit hard. I only comment on the material but others seem its ok to lash out at me. I’m not use to this because I grew up at a time if someone had the guts to say something nasty to someone else we would lash back or get it straightened out then and there because it was in-person. But this cowardly egregious behavior is unbelievable. But I won’t stop commenting, I refuse to let these faceless people stop me ��

  • Thank you for sharing your story, but I’m not a fan of this video. The upbeat personas and weird body behaviors, made me feel this video is just a Sunday school therapy session.

  • I guess it depends on the severity of the bullying.

    Every kid will experience the occasional name calling, being ditched by “friends”, or gossiping, some point regardless of their social status. Even the the supposed “cool” kids deal with fights, gossiping, fake friends, etc! I don’t think I’ve met anyone who DIDNT experience these situations. Which is why high school fights break.

  • I was bullied at school and abused at home all through out my childhood and even basically considered the laughing stock of the playground I had a disability and they called me pee boy and I was bullied at all 5 schools that I went to and physically abused and emotionally abused repeatedly through out my childhood by my mom and both my stepfathers and after I constantly told my teachers and even told my mother and they didn’t listen so I ended up becoming a bully myself yah my childhood was pretty traumatic for me and sometimes it makes me feel so numb thinking about it I was abused by traumatized monsters bullied by troubled kids got constantly denied by adults and even sort of at 1 point made me become a traumatized monster myself

  • I was bullied for a straight decade (from elementary school all the way to high school, i.e., ages 7 to 18)), and due to poor experiences with therapists in the past, I have the innate belief that any therapist I genuinely open up to will either openly or secretly judge me and ridicule me in front of fellow colleagues or friends when I’m not around.
    How would I manage making therapy effective if I feel so afraid to genuinely open up? When I went to therapy in high school (17/18), I would just sit in the corner in silence, to afraid to speak.

  • The girl who scratched my arms up (I ended up having scars, but I guess they weren’t real scars since they faded and are gone now) doesn’t even remember me, or ever doing so. It’s difficult to forgive but I will eventually

  • Brilliant video!:) Iam Scottish, and I was bullied in school all the time. People used to call me ‘Mong’ because of my ADHD. Ever since then I have felt that I am a stupid person and that I will never achieve anything. Oh, and I love that you pronounced the word Scotland right lol. No offence to Americans, but they usually pronounce Scotland as ‘Scatland’ when they talk about it. I would love to come and meet you if I had the chance, but my Anxiety is that bad I would probably have a panic attack if I tried to travel to Elgin.

  • I was bullied for looking like a baby when I was in middle school because I had not hit puberty. I did not hit puberty because I jumped up a grade. My response is,” at least I don’t look like a person who bullies people, but I look like the smartest girl in the school who is the youngest!”

  • Kati you need to come to DC!  I saw this quote on tumblr and I really liked it: “You never know what’s around the corner.  It could be everything.  Or it could be nothing.  You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.” (Tom Hiddleston).  I really like this because it’s like recovery.  You don’t know what to expect but you have to keep moving forward until one day you realize you’ve done it!  I love your videos!

  • I feel bad for all of them, people can be amazing but people can be harsh, unpleasant and caring and I feel like bullies just don’t understand that others have to feel bad so they feel better but they don’t know whats the answer to make me feel better

  • remembering back 40 years ago to running home from school every day so i didn’t get beat up and listening to my parents and the principle tell me it must be something i was doing to provoke it, well I cried for the first time today and i dont even remember the names of the bullies nor do i care who they were.

  • I was 9 which is now. I had a bully that my friend’s brother was friends with he called me a b word I was so sad I told my dad he told the principal he was attacking more but when the 3rd time he stopped. But my friend became my new bully. She called me weak. And said I smoke and she cyber bully me she said the f word she put a wink face. I think she thinks it’s funny but I don’t. Then when I told my viewers I stopped Animating she say thank god you stopped being a weeb weeb is actually someone who loves anime and she’s the weeb she loves anime. I blocked her. But I’m scared to go to school help me plz

  • Good video. Society tolerates that childish behavior. In Professional sports, political arenas and in the workplace. Lack of respect has hit a new high. How have we “Progressed” as a society when lack of decency is at its current state?

  • If you’ve being bullied, ignore them and act unbothered. A bully’s goal is to make you upset so if you are not they will lose interest in you. Karma will get their filthy soul and they will rot in the lowest level of hell. ❤️❤️❤️

  • First of all Asian eyes are cute af and pretty af and I want them and this is the first time I actually realized how small his eyes are but it’s one thing that makes him him and it looks great!!!

  • Hello, here is a link to my tale of abuse, bullying racism and discrimination in a racially segregated South Africa. Please look and share. Thanks  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Coloured-Full-Flight-PART-barracks-ebook/dp/B07B47P193

  • I would love for you to do a topic on “Letting new friends know about your struggles” I’ve been working at a new job and I’ve made amazing new friends and they’re actually all related to each other in some way. I feel closer to them everyday that I see them. I have these scars on my arm (from self harm) and many other things I wish to tell them but feel ashamed about it. I’m still deeply depress d which not even my mother knows about..I want to open up to someone in my real life and not just on the Internet.

  • I was bullied at work about a month ago because i have shaved my head and during the meeting they start calling me names and stuff. the whole team was on it. instead of having a productive meeting, they always returned back on calling me names whenever anyone think of a new one. Honestly it really hurts. I was there to work and shaving my head makes me feel better. I really don’t know the minds of these bullies and right now I just don’t want to work with that team. I’ve felt that I’m just their laughing stock.

  • I was bullied/abused not only by my peers and teachers throughout school but also by my relatives, there was no escape from 24/7 exposure to bullying. I have since ostracized myself from the human race and developed a phobia of people. Despite having gone to university 3 times with 2 masters, I still have those negative thoughts running me down every day (I AM STUPID, etc) and I find I just cannot relate to anyone. I’m starting to think if there is any healing as counselling doesn’t seem to help. Having looked at FB, I feel angry that said bullies show no remorse and are even advocating the BLM movement after the way they treated me who is an ethnic minority. When I try to explain, people just don’t understand or don’t care. Can victims/survivors truly recover from decades of ingrained bullying and abuse?

  • I won’t be bullied or abused anymore

    I’ve had it my whole life

    I’ve a good person

    I’m a nice man

    I am angry about what happened to me

    I keep falling out with others

    I have conditions

    I have a brain injury

  • I was bullied on a daily basis throughout middle school, and I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, and avoidant personality disorder ever since (I’m 43 now).

  • Thank you for posting this video! I’m so grateful for what you both shared. There are some statements and tips here that have literally turned on a lightbulb, that will immensely help me on my journey to healing! Thank you!

  • Yeah it’s interesting how people say that we should be tough enough to handle rudeness, but how about the weakness of those being rude? Maybe they’re not emotionally resilient enough to be patient and kind to others when they’re under stress.

  • bullying managers are inadequate, shallow, superficial people who pit staff against each other, divide and rule. and more often than not look for and target any perceived weakness and are often narcissists, who like to heap on the negativity (lets them off the hook).  narcs rarely change, think they’re always right, have poor social skills, nil empathy. and silent treatment is controlling behaviour.  its saying, if you don’t do what I want you to do, I will make you suffer and punish you with silence, don’t buy into the ‘game’.

  • I would not take the responsibility for our behaviour out of the hands of individuals and place it in the ether. We certainly are responsible for our response and it is our personal responsibility to know ourselves, our boundaries whether they are being respected transgresses and how we react to that.

  • 嗯,其實幼众也相信大佬以功抵罪責,而善助,从大陸一直助貶助貶至流浪,SO,沒有孫文,袁鄧毛,柯受良,228閩少,水扁,經國組,星云,及鱷魚王,蛇王族人之心,而呼口號众,只有美國老大哥直升機,而作直升機小弟,再收其他想直升機的国,再召作小小弟,皆成致友,愛敵人(大屠殺大屠鯊族)学吏役而,即殖民地殖种多代,So,即枕邊人不是午夜雨衣狼群就是狼群或外交战狼,So,会不会是禿鷹轉移焦點(不知),但,有碼头舞館新立号鳥鳥桃幫,和美國直升機小弟,,,SO,??。
    對丫,美國有飞狼,而大陸說狼群為战狼??,是午夜狼群文謅謅美其号名,??,不知,,,??。
    SO,,,。

  • Hi Kati, here are some topics I think would be interesting for others to learn more about: DNMS (Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy) and/or the control paradox in relation to eating disorders. On a side note: it would be awesome if you participated in the #DearMe  YouTube video campaign/project.I hope all is well!:) 

  • So excited you’re coming to the UK! I live in England and am SO going to try and come meet you! I’ve been watching your videos since literally the beginning and you’ve helped me come soooooo far, I could never thank you enough. What you do is amazing and I appreciate it

  • I get bullied ALOT for being short but no matter what you will do you will stay that you!!my bff who I know for five years she would stand up for me but they would continue and now idc what people think ��

  • I gotta disagree with the ED answer. A LOT of doctors don’t know shit about restrictive eating disorders (anorexia/bulimia/etc) so the comment from the doctor about setting a target “healthy weight” is probably unhealthy. YOU know that weight does not equal health, but not very many doctors know that. Also, it’s possible to be “overweight” and be restricting and have an eating disorder such as ARFID. Not all “overweight with an eating disorder” cases are going to be BED. Practically all crash diets encourage disordered eating, and I’m sure there’s many people who go on crash diets that do have the mental disorder component of an eating disorder, but are brushed off or don’t realize they have a problem because they’re overweight. THAT myth and stigma really needs to go away.
    Sorry for my semi-off-topic rant there. This turned into a longer response than I originally intended.

  • Hi everyone, thanks for your comments and sharing. I have uploaded a 2nd video on this subject. Please click this link: https://youtu.be/vd-DwjnFkG0

  • kati#FAQ kati I was wondering can you develop PTSD form being bullied? I don’t know because it does seem strong enough reason to have PTSD. My my therapist says thats what I have but im just not sure about that.  

  • Russell, I think the fact that our culture
    in America, is the first in history to not have a true initiation as an acceptance into being an adult in society, an answer to your question.
    Thanks, for teaching me so much, Brother!

  • Thank you so much from speaking so much truth on this very painful subject and helping us very hurt ppl both lost and confused in this venmous world unfortunately ���������������� your freaking brilliant. A light on this topic so freaking helpful. Thank you thank you thank you

  • I’m just getting over a very long time of anxiety due to a work situation. Russell’s tutorials have helped me so much and in the darkest moments he may have saved my life Thankyou.However a new neighbour is now bullying me by squandering me to other neighbours.She shouts out loud so I can hear everything she says about me.There are at least 7 cats other than my own 3 but she keeps accusing my cats of using her garden as a toilet I know in fact that 2 of mine use their own garden.I had to endure again yesterday while she blasted me to the neighbours and called me” mental “.I have only ever been nice / friendly to others around me and I live a quiet unintrusive life simply caring for my garden and cats when I’m not working with kids who have special needs.At the moment my anxiety is sky high and I’m afraid to bump into the neighbours.This is adult bullying and I feel afraid and sad but thanks to Russell’s lovely words of enlightenment and peace, I shall continue to meditate and follow my own path.Love and peace to anyone who has read this and not judged me

  • Responding with “I dont believe you” is a really great response actually. The bully wants to offend YOU. If you say you dont believe them, theyd thing “what was the point?” Not only that, by saying that (even if you do believe them) you can actually make yourself not believe them by repeating that.

  • Hi Katie. I have ptsd cause of being bullied as a child and I never did process it all until now. I have alot of anger issues too. Am just glad am seeing a therapist

  • “Ever heard of legolas?”
    Me:YESSSS HE IS HOTTTTT LOTR IS MY FAV TRILOGY xD.I am fangirl of Orlando Bloom.

    HOW COULD EVEN SOMEONE BULLY YOU BECAUSE U HAVE ELF EARS????I ALWAYS WANTED SOME TO BE LIKE LEGOLAS!

  • Thank you for covering the bullying/depression/social anxiety topic
    I recently started therapy and had no idea how much i hadn’t healed from being bullied when i was 13!
    i’m now 21 and during my 3rd session it was brought up some how and i just cried… talking about it really hurt! which i never realized it caused serious social anxiety i thought i was just a weird shy/awkward kid that didn’t like people (lol) but now we know! 
    Also question about social anxiety ‘Why is it i have extreme social anxiety everywhere but at work?, I’ve worked there for 4 years, although never go to staff parties i’m quite comfortable at my actual job why is that? O_O

  • is it normal to barley remember being a child,  i have had problem with selfharm and some stuff and i feel like i can’t feel anything at all 

  • How do you stop yourself from self sabotaging? Every time my life is going well, my behaviors get really bad to screw it all up. I’m moving to Spain soon for study abroad, and I really want to be well enough to go? Any tips?

  • Sir Thank you for raise my spirit I grow up in Haiti I been bully in school after school when I walking to go home people shout me crazy.To this day sir I’m struggle with low self esteem I can’t have good relationship.My life is sucks.

  • Lmao people in class don’t even wanna bully me cuz I have literally no reaction. I would litterally stare at them, dead in the eye and say “ok”

    So that kids, is how you get people to stop messing with you. 😉

  • I’ve been called a “brinjal” all my life cause I’m way too short… It depressed me when I was little… Now I don’t care… Cause, brinjals are tasty

  • Though I differ in spiritual beliefs, I so much appreciate his intellect and his counsellor style communication. Very much like abundant awaken philosophies of life.

  • Personally I find that I need to remind myself of a few things before I go outside, firstly I remind myself that I’m just me, i’m 50 years old with 3 wonderful amazing children and I have a deep depression that i’m not going to pretend I don’t have, i’m nor going to try and hide it, its part of me and makes me who I am as much as any other aspect of my life. I think being honest with ourselves makes us strong.

  • If my bully ever was in the street, couldn’t walk, dying or something, I would help her but i would show up at her hospital bed and let her know this: “Tienes suerte que no te odio bastante a dejarte muerto porque de como me trata en el clase de espanol porque realmente lo pense:)” and leave

  • Hi Kati Could you offer some thoughts on dating while dealing with depression/anxiety (also used to SH). I’m currently doing well but get super insecure when meeting people and thinking of trying to date. I’m almost 30 and have only been in one relationship about 11 years ago. It wasn’t a healthy relationship as he was a teenage alcoholic, had an abusive father and threatened to take him life when I ended things. That along with my own issues turned me off dating for quite awhile. I’m at a point in my life where I would really like to trying meeting someone. But the concept of dating is terrifying, as well as the eventual conversation about my scars that would have to happen if things got serious. And at what point should that conversation happen? I feel guilty bringing someone into my life when I can’t guarantee that something wont happen down the road leading me to self harm again or having suicidal thoughts and all that jazz. 
    Hope your able to address this. I know you get lots of questions. Thanks!

  • I was bullied by my father until the age of eight, then I was bullied almost every school day until I was 16, then by my mother’s boyfriend for eight years.
    I was born autistic but I believe my schizophrenia was caused by decades of bullying, both physically and psychologically.
    Still no addictions though.
    I’m not a victim, I’m a survivor.

  • I was bullied at my workplace. He paid me less than what I deserve, less hours, and overworked. Every meeting—instead of discussing the business—I was constantly criticized, belittled, humiliated, disrespected, sometimes even in public places.

  • I know in my heart that I have an eating disorder. But here in the UK there is little support for BED and I don’t quite meet the bulimia criteria. I’ve managed to get referrals to counselling and a dietician for other reasons so I’m hoping if I tell them about it they can help. But it’s been7/8 years of keeping this to myself and I really wish I could talk to a friend about it. Only I am afraid that I won’t be taken seriously because of my weight. I’m not thin and I don’t purge (very often) so people won’t see it as an ED. I don’t want to confide and be trivialised but trying to recover alone hasn’t worked so far. I wish my issues were taken as seriously as anorexia or bulimia. I don’t even have the professional support to back me up (although I was diagnosed with an ED at one point). But if my food issues have caused severe depression, self harm and a suicide attempt how can that not be an eating disorder right?
    My friends are all much thinner than me. I’m scared they won’t believe me.

  • Heyyyyyyyyyy Kati, fab video as always:) 

    Just a wee thing, Elgin is pronounced with the GI in give…rather than like Gin & Tonic x

    Love you videos, and as always…

    …Stay Safe, Stay Beautiful <3 Xx

  • TOPIC VIDEO
    I would LOVE for u to do a topic video on the effects/process of a criminal crown court case for childhood sexual advise. If u recommend it, and why, what u think about having PTSD from going through the actual court case itself. And the fact that there’s no justice in this world (uk anyway!) I’m from London and the uk justice system is so corrupt. I am so fucked up because half of me is desperate for a retrial to do it again to get justice and the other half of me is so petrified and damaged from it but I need justice. Plsssssss do a video Kati omg I’m so messed up from this court case the fact no one believed me and I was humiliated in front of everyone for 2 weeks in front of ppl and had to face him and I thought if u told the truth u would get the result/get justice. How wrong was I. Why did the jury or judges not believe me? Why did they believe his lies?? X

  • If, you need a broke comedian to tell you this! Because the only fame he ever got was because he laid a famous chick & needs money! Watch this!

  • Spot on Russell. We have become commodities under the current socio-economic system, they use us to create their surplus value, their profits. That’s all we are to them. Bullying is an integral part of capitalist society. How could it be otherwise when society is structured hierarchically, top down, rather than from the grassroots upwards as needed.

    They need to dehumanise us to enforce their horrible ideology, and bullying is used as a way to target people who for whatever reason don’t fit in to their worldview. It should be no surprise to see the same behaviour used by those lower down within their power structure. However we do have the ways and means to challenge and subvert their ideology. Read widely and watch vids like this with an open but critical mind. And of course learn to meditate in whatever way works to free your mind from these temporary constraints.

  • The weak plead for mercy and beg not to be bullied.
    The strong know there is no backing down in life.
    The bullying ends when you fight back physically
    and verbally. You don’t have to win, but bullies
    pick on those who don’t defend themselves.

    Life is a very difficult road. A person who is weak
    will never live completely and it will be in for a cruel
    journey. It’s not about winning or losing it’s about
    holding your head high within the storm.

    Don’t back down to bullies. And don’t back
    don’t to life. Only the strong survive and that’s
    not about physically strong it’s about having
    courage to face pain and living with dignity and
    righteousness.

    I would be very upset with a child of mine who
    bullied the weak. But I also would be upset with
    a child who didn’t fight back.

  • My best friend got bullied ever since she was 6 and shes 13 almost 14 now
    Shes afraid of people
    She thinks everyone hates her
    Shes scared to be alone she thinks they’ll come for her if no one is around
    I only try to help her nothing works everything that they did ruined her life forever I think she’ll be scared of people for ever

  • Don’t buy the bully psychobabble at all. Bullying is just simple attempt at mindless pecking order. You get bullied because you simply don’t stand up for yourself. Doesn’t have to be physical, a quick retort can make a bully think twice of bullying you again and sends a signal to everyone not to pick on you. Fight fire with fire and then try to gain their friendship later on.

  • What the hell is on her hand? Lipsticks marks? Weirdo. And why are they sitting so close to each other? Akward. They are both odd and akward. I’m out.

  • What wisdom from a person who suffers a mental disorder himself other mental retards flock around him and they all cause less trouble to the more mature and responsibly! God bless them all!

  • I was bullied from elementary to middle school. It was the worst in 8th grade. It wasn’t just one person, it was a lot of kids who just wanted to dump their shit on me. Every now and then it comes back to haunt me.

  • Hey Kati hope you see this. I don’t know if you already have a video about it but you think you could make a video on quitting smoking? I would like to hear a more clever look on it. I’ve been trying to quit….for…a month. Not going so well. I’ve been struggling with depression lately, and every time I tell myself I’m going to quit smoking in overcome with anxiety. I feel like the cigarettes help, but I know they don’t.

  • No one owns up to being a bully or abused its disgusting there lies I’ve owned up many times to me bullying others alot of abusers don’t my parents did alot of abuse to me as a kid don’t own up to any of it nothing I own up to things basically because I want to do everything in my power to not be like my parents admit to things not hide it or make excuses it’s ridiculous

  • So exciting that your coming to UK!! wish u were coming London tho!! I am seriously considering driving up to meet u….. But i dunno. Xx

  • Social media is a playground for bullies far too often. Adults are just as vulnerable as children. It’s too easy for online bullies who are effectively cowards to hide inside the internet. Get off social media folks we don’t need other people’s validation or judgement. Spot on Russell. ❤️

  • I think this video does a really good job describing bulling from the perspective of the perpetrator and the driving forces of that. One thing that I think might be missing is bullying as a dynamic as opposed to just victimization. I do think there is something to be said for that we attract some of our external circumstances to reflect our internal feelings. I used to be bullied a lot and feel entirely victimized by it, until I realized I was being shown how I truly felt about myself and what I needed to heal. This does not excuse the actions of the perpetrator as they must be hurting and out of touch with their soul to be hurting other people in that way. I just think this is empowering and sets people free from the victimization, along with attracting dynamics of this sort. It also contributes to collective healing.:)

  • @***** I think the last time I asked this question it did not post.. Is a child who is constantly picking scabs more susceptible to self harm in teen/adult years? Thank you for your time.

  • I am currently receiving treatment on a weekly basis for ptsd and severe depression, which I have had for close to 20 years. I’ve had to take a semester off from school because I lived in constant fear of being bullied by college classmates for my physical appearance and the fact that I have not lived a perfect life. What I mean by that is, a lot of the students there come from very privileged backgrounds, and I do not. When I was a teenager, I was constantly attacked and harassed because my family did not have much money or live in the right neighborhood. I’ve wanted to end my life numerous times as an adult because I don’t feel like I deserve to live.

  • There is something about you Russell Brand that I like very much! I can feel that you are genuinely interested in helping others reach their full potential.

  • it’s common knowledge that long term bullying and/or abuse of any kind can cause all kinds of health problems, mental and physical. what is sad is that nothing is done about it and victims continue to be blamed or disbelieved

  • It starts within..inner work means we delve right into our dark shit..our nasty stuff..now this requires courage..those who lash out haven’t yet been able to connect with their inner shit..their trauma..feel it..to heal it..and if someone you live with won’t do that..then boundaries are essential..Be kind but take no shit!.

  • We’re primates. Dickheads can thrive unchecked, where there’s a scarcity of other Dickheads in the group willing to compete with the biggest Dickheads & defeat them. Nature raises bullies as a challenge to overcome. Smashing a bully is a short lived satisfaction. But what a rush.

  • Seriously, i mean Seriously. I must have missed the memo, are you saying adult bulling is a new thing and here i thought at 46 that i had witnessed it all my adult life. I must say, thank you Russel for setting me straight and showing me that this is a brand new phenomena. ” pun intended”

  • Oh wow, I’m sitting here in tears. The part where you discuss looking at what you’ve learned. I feel like I can get so much power out of that!

  • You got to learn to get over it I’m already starting to get over a whole childhood where I was mentally verbally and physically bullied all throughout my childhood at both home and at school you got to learn to get over you’re few times where you were bullied at school and most of the time those kids who bully you often to them they often didn’t know what they were doing they were young and thought it was all a joke or alot of them probably thought it was propper because that’s how they saw there own parents do to people so they learned from experience and I’ve seen kids who were bully’s before but are totally changed now don’t do it apologize and even help people who go through the same struggles some people do change some don’t some learn from there mistakes trust me me being a person who was bullied at all the school’s that I went to plus all the crap I took at home if I believe that all of them were doing it unperpously and that no one ever changes then honestly I would say that everyone in the world are just horrible people because well nearly everyone in my childhood truly were being horrible so I would never trust anyone but I know that some change some don’t for the ones that don’t change whatever I don’t care not my problem learn to let go for the ones that do change and admit to there wrongs good for them keep it up if you don’t want to be friends with them than don’t though but just learn to let it go get help if you’re struggling stop holding grudges

  • We will never stop children bullying UNLESS we deal with the adult bullies that teach them. Traumatized people traumatize people, especially little ones.

  • When you mentioned the journal topic, it reminded me of this video: http://youtu.be/ahv_1IS7SiE. It’s a bit quirky since it was filmed at Burning Man, but watching it always cheers me up. And thank you for the videos. They are fantastic!

  • We have a bully at work a small woman who looks so fragile but turns to be manipulative, angry and aggressive towards anyone who does things differently than her. As a result seven people want to leave the workplace and our lovely team is split in half beyond repair…so sad. I am glad I had the opportunity to tell her in her face that she had crossed the line…so sad and disappointing…

  • Do you really think I will get better talking to a therapist? I’ve been mentally bullied a lot and I’m now 18, I feel like I can’t be myself around anyone because I’m so scared to be judged and I’m so scared that someone’s going to try to mentally hurt me. I’m tired of feeling like everyone in the store is judging me. It’s very weird tho because some days I feel very good about myself and the next day I feel scared to even speak.

  • Off-Topic (yet sort of similar) SUGGESTION for a video:
    Would you at some point consider doing a video either by yourself or with a guest speaker about how scandals such as, the ‘college-gate’ bribery incident, the Weinstein / Epstein sexual encounter matters, or the decades old Natalie Wood mystery death affects Hollywood, either positively or negatively.
    Do you think that such negative publicity helps or hurts the well-oiled Hollywood ‘machine’? Does it make the mechanism that we call ‘hollyweird’ more powerful, more insular as they protect their own, or do you think that such trysts and daillances with morality only serves to inevitably boost ticket sales? Sad to say. However, some would argue that this is true. I’ve been enjoying your other videos. You’ve got a lot of great lessons you’re putting out there. Keep those (video) “cards and letters coming”. Everyone in your listening and viewing community is learning a lot. To anyone reading this give a thumbs up if interested in this idea.
    Thanks for considering my suggestion.

  • Do you think ‘bullying’ comes from some primordial thing in our brains. I say this because I see it in ‘ape’ communities in wildlife programmes a lot. In nearly all species of ‘ape’ you see bullying behaviour to establish and maintain dominance in the group. Dominance means more mates, therefore potential to produce more offspring, expand your genetic pool, etc. If it is innate within us to either bully or be submissive, then it’s a part of life we need to navigate with skillfulness. Humour is a great disarmament for a potential bully. Make em laugh, make em laugh (singing)����

  • I’m only 14 please make a video more on self harm & suicide as you said you are talking about it in your meet ups glad I found you:)

  • I was a highly sensitive person as a child, i never hid my emotions and was always socializing with others. I had group of boys as friends from nursery when i went to preschool, but they started..bullying me for a reason i didnt know. I tried changing myself, to fit in, but they still continued in. I always had to deal with hearing shit behind my back, by different people and i would oftenly just have fights with them. I felt so betrayed,and emotional i couldn’t anymore act normal around them. Towards them, i acted cold/angry, i was scared they’d only to come up to me to bully me again, which they did. I thought alot of things to say to them, but i ended up saying none. This continued for years and years until i had it and isolated myself. Even my closests friends didnt come looking for me, i mean why would’ve they have if i was the one who always did embarassing things and was clingy (because i was afraid of them to leave them behind). Maybe they were really relieved to have me go away is what i thought. I didn’t speak much, i always hurried to eat only to go to silent classroom and be alone there. Whenever i saw people entering the class i pretended to be busy reading a book or drawing. I was avoiding being social, because i was afraid i’d be bullied again. I also had a girl bully who was extremely inappropriate and bullied me for a stupud reason. And i had a few people who werent kinda bullies, but still talked about me badly behind my back. Only place i was accepted was in internet, and at home. Now i’m like 15 and i have been dealing with stuff for 9years. I havent healed any bit, i’ve lost my social skills, i’ve lost my humorous happy personality i used to have, i avoid going outside, i avoid looking at anyone’s eyes especially at boys eyes until i have to talk to them. Only time i feel alive is when i am hanging out with my friend out of school, i feel so happy and myself, but when i return back home i feel empty inside. I’ve had this empty feeling inside me for years and i cant seem to get rid of it until i am alone with my friend with my house, or her house. I don’t feel any happiness in school, i feel uncomforable and paranoid, unsure and everything possible. I don’t know why, but i want it to stop i want to stop being so weak i want to know myself but i dont know what am i or who am i really.

  • U can have symptoms of suicidal overwhelm from child abuse and long lasting effects that last well into adult life and one’s own future family it’s no walk in park what one can suffer actual terror feelings from the overwhelm of what was done

  • im sorry if this sounds sexist but women should not have too much power or authority in the workplace. The majority of jobs I have lost was due to some woman who did not like me cuz even tho I can be very nice and hard working i call them out on their bullshit or will not take them on much if I see them gossiping about others. My last job was predominantly women and right off the bat I spotted 2 or 3 snakes of which I got fired for petty shit. never had a problem in an all male environment but ended up getting laid off 2 jobs that were with other dudes….women can be very bullying towards blokes and we cant just punch their face in….that would cause a lot more problems, Iv been ill with depression and anxiety since and feel helpless at times. I have went MGTOW and know many other men who have had this experience. The deck is stacked against men but were are conditioned to believe we are the oppressive ones…..Guys don’t work in a place which has too many women!!

  • Society has become alienated, isolated, dislocated. We don’t know those who live around us. We become polarised, unable to understand the other.
    The ‘Other’ becomes an object which has, therefore, no feelings.
    It is a broken society which, speaking now from 2020, is clearly needing to be completely changed, starting with de-industrialisation, and including altering the fear of death.

  • I was bullied in high school by a girl. 40 years later I saw her in the grocery store. I was friendly towards her although she caused me a great deal of pain. Inside I have a ton of verbal vomit I’d like to spew at her. I’m too polite to do that.

  • I finally tried to “get back” at one of my work bullies recently. It left me feeling unsatisfied with myself and rather… unsettled. I am going to continue killing her with kindness and searching for strength.

    & for others being bullied/gaslighted at work… the best I can say is find ways to validate yourself. Understand your side of reality is TRUE. If you believe in yourself in this way, it will slowly build up the inner strength to overcome this adversity.

  • Yall talking about it like its so minor, but its not that minor I see people around me thinking Im just a loser but I have already tried everything and therapist just downplay it and say its not happening anymore

  • Thank you for bringing this out to light. I’m learning that a lifetime of bullying really has affected me, but I don’t want to live “there” anymore. Either way, God has always protected me and led me to the right resources for my continued healing. God bless everyone egos been thru it and ready to see the light.

  • I’m sensitive too, Russell, this characteristic is a double edge sword as I’m a nurse, I get bullied at work by the hierarchic-all powerful senior members of staff. Bless you thank you for your message I will learn to meditate ������

  • I started crying the moment that you mentioned being bullied. I an 52 and still have a problem. I still subconsciously think that what they said was true and have a very limited experience with really succeeding. Depression has just always kept me back. Believe me, I have been to counseling for this and have cried many times. People who don’t go through this for years just can’t understand. They say, why don’t you get over it? It helps just to remember that I am not the only one this has happened to, and many people are going through the same thing I am. I hope there is a solution to this for me. I am glad you don’t let the ugly trolls post on this site. I’m so sick of seeing posts like that.

  • I was bullied during the mid 90s at school by these 2 boys who seemed to be in every one of my subject classes. They said some pretty horrible horrific stuff to me. For example I should go and kill myself & my parents should be sued for letting me be born. Also told I will never have any mates or a girlfriend when I grow up and get older. Was repeatedly called gay as well as occasionally having my stammer mocked. I was only about 15 at the time. Like I didn’t do anything to deserve all that abuse. I was only a young innocent boy trying to learn in class. The weird thing is that one of the bullies was also trying to be my friend as well as calling me names at the same time. I have now come to realise that these 2 lads were having a lot of problems at home and they weren’t getting on well with their families. So they came into school and took it all out on me. I was an easy target.

  • I love that book! It was actually introduced to me in the last EDP I stayed at, it has such a good meaning and I still keep mine where I can see it daily to remind myself that not everything works out but sometimes they do but realistically everything I believed when I was interacting with ed behaviour is simply not achievable.
    I now try to strive for realistic things like keeping my body healthy so I can be part of life again!

  • Dont believe in Victimhood!
    Use the situation as a learning experience and let Love and forgiveness show the bullys in your life a different path of existenceI have seen it workwalk that path of Christ.
    Aloha

  • I think the practices of the American job market set you up to bully or be bullied. Like if you put in your two weeks notice mangers will give you the silent treatment.if ppl want you to quit they will go out of there way to get you in trouble so there friend can get hired.it’s the way the games played and it sucks.

  • Hi Katie. This is actually my first time writing you a question.  I’m a bit nervous, and I wasn’t 100% where to write it so I wrote it here.  Hope that is ok.  I am recovering from an eating disorder.  Everyday is still a struggle, but I’m a fighter and refuse to give up.  My question is:  If I am around the minimum ideal weight for my height, why does my nutritionist want me to gain more weight?  My loved ones still feel I look too thin, but I am not underweight.  I am confused.  Could you shed some light on this?

  • Being a nerd, I get picked on a lot. I always wish I could use this sick comeback I found. It says:
    ‘You called me a nerd? I’m sorry but I prefer the term smarter than you!’

  • Hi Kati! I am SO proud to be a part of this wonderful community, it’s amazing how fast we’re growing and I can’t even imagine where we’ll be in another year or two!

    PS. I would love to see a Monday video on co-dependency!

  • Whenever I was in a playground at school I would have to play by myself, but I preferred it that way to the point where I had so much fun playing by myself that I legit wouldn’t play with anyone else because I was having so much fun, am I weird?

  • I experienced bullying in school as well as parental abuse. It has affected all of my relationships and has left me seeking therapy.

  • Can you talk about how to deal with having a parent or anyone else close to you having a mental illness. My mom is bipolar and it can be really hard sometimes, and I think it would be helpful to a lot of people (including me) if you made a video about that!:)

  • Hi Katie, it looks like I found you at the right time. I suffer from seasonal depression, ADHD, and severe anxiety. I am a VERY sensitive person…

    I was bullied as a child and definitely felt like I didn’t matter at times. Now that I’m a 28 year old adult I have a hard time with people leaving me or disliking me… Is this because I didn’t heal from my past?

  • I am experiencing unprovoked bullying at the moment. I consider myself a person of morals and I just wish all people realised that there are only two rules needed for humanity 1. Treat others how you would like to be treated and 2. Live and let live. That’s all

  • I think it’s shocking how this is considered as bullying when people in this world get horribly relentlessly bullied to the point where they give up on there own lives…

  • brilliant! Rumi, seeing a negative feeling, one that is making me feel suicidal today as a rotten house guest that will leave! thanks Russell, I feel today like NOBODY not even spouse or therapist would care if I did off myself. Namaste

  • https://youtu.be/UGeIeO9E68MI lived the stations of the cross, a nightmare before christmas (fell on a wheel chair that was friends with Slipknot and the merry psychopaths). The “camp”, fascists and nazi MCs and supporters in the infinity and eternal restart and cycle of the curse of christ and good people in the downwards spiral. The Maze… I killed the minotaur but Aryanne is still there with Diogenes de Sinope and she runs Circe… Everybody becomes fascist narcissistic pig and you never sleep with the tenatious “D” (dé in french= dice and D, pronounced dey or they) and the pick of destiny plus the one ring! You get weird clients and an eternal haunting with room mates in the cockpit and the attic. I went Psychosis 4 times but those are misguided awakenings. The they declared me Schizoprenic after kissing me a rose that made me always talk to myself when people would be nearby and really look schizo when talking to evaluators. Psychiatry is (we have to say”was” to everything we don’t want anymore cause reality is what we speak, i would be reactivating the new world order by evoking it.) a cover for the old new world order the victims all being helpful fondamentaly good water fountains that heal and fix that are honest and innocent. They are the narcissists target, the “good night” on Harley Quinn’s bat means “good knight”. Sme with women beraters and pedophiles, it’s narcissistic mental manipulation and chains that link things ate the whrong place example stress with when your girlfrien talks and a flashin cheek and her being anoying with something they manipulated like noize ends up loosing controle and going for the flashing cheak slap! No go to jail to get beat by inmates poor good knight, and they can also link his sexual chakra to little girls having him feel something sexual when kids move and talk and even goes to manipulating what they speak about and what words they will use like come a lot. Pedophiles were all fondamentally good to start with and priests too… It’s sometimes demonic possession. Here i talk for christ as ii am a One and maybe the one cause oasis jus went on special the other day (my favorite) when i got broke… Just kidding… I’m a little subjet loosing and plot forgetting when I speak but I think I got use more than a lot and had traitors and hypocrites after me all my life, fell on a wheel chair that beat me and fucked around. I got the treatment of christ it was always me! They crush it stomping feet… And you loose all your friends don’t make any new ones, are left alone, nobody talks to you except the 3 red heads Mcdonald’s, Chucky and Pennywise.

  • The worst thing about living on this planet is being bullied. I would sooner be punched, stabbed, starved, burned, and have it over quickly than be bullied and have it drag on some 40 years. Knowing it is about the other person, not me, doesnt make it any easier to bear. It just reminds me that they dont feel the hurt, I do.

  • Good work Russ this is the kind of thing that I think you are hitting the mark with, miss the Trues though, why not do many things as well as keeping up the political attack and keep trying to change the world f**king needs it mate.although meditation won’t sort it,Russ and it might be them, but if you are on the other end of it, you will not fell like it’s them, it will f**k with you and your confidence, pray to God, if you believe or not give it a whirl, it’s free..you will get a result if you do, just do it, no amount of it’s them will work, you need help, pray and if it’s in work, get the union involved, don’t take it, you will not see a result by meditating, to quote Malcolm X, your days will only get better if you make them, or words to that affect, you need to do something..but be careful, weigh up the options and see what works best that won’t make it worst and rebound on you..

  • You couldn’t pay me enough to go back to my childhood years. Spent a few years imagining myself encased in layers of rock as a mental shield. Took some special friends in high school to bring me out of that shell.

  • I keep forgetting as I get irritated with some people’s choices, to ask myself “What if it was their last day in this earth? Would I still be this upset?”

  • I believe that in spite of our ugly behaviors, we are really in essence just pure love trapped in a physical state that is in opposition to love. When we feel hurt, it is the love feeling the opposition to it. Maybe the physical state is the problem. It seems to be opposed to the spiritual state. Interestingly, the spiritual state just wants to love everything and everyone, even the physical state that is of a different nature.

    I don’t think bullying can be eliminated from society easily because bullies do not tend to be people who feel a need to work on their own characters. The physical part of this world is based on everything and everyone causing suffering to another to prevent his/her/its own suffering just to survive, going right down to microscopic beings. Because a person can suffer, there will always be others with a sadistic side who will cause suffering. A large part of bullying stems from fear. I have noticed that people have become accustomed to criticizing each other. They feel safer if they can deflect the downcast onto someone else. Society is not acceptance based. While I have been a victim of bullying, in my own thoughts I have also been a bully. I used to be disgusted by someone having imperfect teeth, or by being associated with someone others were bullying. It was mostly just fear that drove me to avoid others who seemed socially unacceptable. Also, I have noticed that bullying can stem from people empowering themselves at the expense of others. Some of the worst bullies are narcissists who have no ability to feel empathy. To be empathetic can be painfully draining for a selfish person. If someone has been raised to view gentleness or kindness as weak or phony the bully may react to what they fear is unnavigable or not genuine. Mistrust and fear mainly seem to attract bullying. But, I have noticed there is a natural social dynamic where people bond over a common enemy, even if they must create one and victimize them. People like to feel safely included or special in their cliques and what better way to accomplish that than to magnify flaws or awkwardness or even just make it that someone is left out. Voila! The people fitting in feel special because someone else is not.

  • Once I told my bully I hope everything in your life goes down hill and ya know what he’s now a druggie a homeless druggie begging for money

  • If you had stayed on at the University you were at you would have had time to understand that a mindless 9 to 5 routine and a mindless screen evening are not the cause of bullying. That’s just where it festers and incubates. It is ambition and mindless pursuit of a career and the fantasy of being better than everyone else and then being rewarded for being better than everyone else, and wearing a hat and gown and a job at the end of it. It is greed and ambition that is the cause of bullying, but more importantly the failure to stop it in institutions where abuse is institutionalised. It is pure ambition and greed that is being peddled through work and study and its insidious effect down into schools to the smallest children who become bullies. Cue Gabor Mate to insight the phenomenon of greed and ambition, which was the cause of one of the greatest bullying exercises on earth, COLONIALISM, embodied by one of the greatest bullies on earth CHURCHILL, who is revered for his ambition and bullying, never mind his aggression and hatred of natives and fakirs which he openly espoused against Gandhi, and the devastation he caused to colonised people. Cue Gabor Mate to explain Churchill’s strange resemblance to a baby and the British public’s adoration of him. How dangerous and genocidal he became is not taught in British schools. No wonder bullying and abuse is covertly rampant in British institutions and work places. I now see that the perpetrator who originally bullied / harassed me began to unwind when after proving he was better than everyone else all his life in a successful academic career, he simply could not accept that I might become as good as him. It was his own fear and fantasy, it never occurred to me, it was his aggressive ambition which made him a bully. It is amazing how many people joined in the bullying / hate against me, adults with successful careers in the University, Cue Gabor Mate. Please remember there is no excuse for bullying, harassment, which is a crime and often precedes violence or abuse if allowed to continue in individuals and institutions.

  • I can’t stop crying… I don’t want my babies to be picked on because some self hating bully decides to punk up. All these MEN are amazing, handsome, and kind gentlemen that deserve the best in life.

  • Not to sound bitter or be degrading over their experiences, but someone saying you had elf-ears and it sticking with you is something I wouldn’t define as ‘bullying.’
    I know several people that were beaten and spit at daily, tormented by the same people, over and over, and thát is what I call bullying.
    Again, sorry if it comes across mean, you’ve got every right to be upset over it but I wouldn’t define it as bullying if the intention was a friendly; ‘Elf ears.’

  • It’s not just in workplaces. I’ve been deliberately ostracized by my sister and daughter which lead to being unfriended and blocked by over. 236 people on Facebook.
    This includes mainly ‘mutual friends’ of my sister and I dating back 40 year ago school friends. I’ve been cut off from my nieces, nephews, other siblings and my precious grandchildren who I gave up my career to look after. It was awesome. It was a DECADE ago.
    I don’t have birthdays, Christmases, mothers days or get to meet new people as I first had a crushed sciatic nerve in 2012, then I severely broke my tibia and fibula right at the ankle requiring extensive surgery four years later when finally walking again.
    I was scammed my life’s savings of $100K US hy a man who worked on me for three years using a fake wife and two fake kids who’d skype me and told me that they were my, ‘new family’. I was able to withdraw $5K US of my initial ‘investment’ and a new iPhone 6S plus prior to handing over my half of the proceeds when the family home was sold after an incredibly painful divorce so the ‘trust’ had been established. It’s left me with nothing.
    My husband of 25 years left when my leg was paralysed and joined in on the isolation and being totally ignored since.
    My life is a living hell of which there is only one escape. I’m heartbroken.
    If your own family can’t see any worth in you, how can you possibly see any yourself?
    My crime with my sister? Defending my father for moving in with my Mum’s best friend who’s late husband had been Dad’s best friend.
    I would not accept her repeated accusations of our father already being with Mum’s best friend before she died.. By defending them, I lost EVERYONE but he has them all.
    it’s been a decade since then and my father’s now too old he claims to remember what happened and gets upset if I try to reach out. He refuses to discuss or acknowledge what I lost in defending them.
    I’m 1400 kms away from any friends and can’t see my way out of this. I’m a ghost in society. Not known by anyone or can they see the heartache that just never leaves.
    It ‘s soul destroying. I was legally ‘killed off ‘ ‘murdered’ and the perpetrators have carried on with their lives as if I NEVER EXISTED.
    If only I could walk in to any hospital where someone’s fighting to live surrounded by a loving family begging hat they don’t lose them as I’d give them my life in a heart beat but life doesn’t work that way.
    Am I selfish to wish with all my being that I was dead or if I took my own live? Christ, I don’t even have anyone who’d claim my body…………��

  • Hi Kati,

    Ive been diagnosed with bpd and depression. I’m at university, which is obviously quite hard to get through with my condition, but I’m in my second year, and I’m doing okay:)! Today I was having difficulty in the morning, which lead me to be 10 minutes late for my exam, my university is fine as they know my situation, however a girl in my course was angered by my being late, saying i distracted her, and I’ve ruined her chances of a high mark, she said as im not in class much (due to my condition, I work at home) that I shouldn’t even be in university. This angered me/upset me, as I often doubt my academic abilities. My question is how can you deal with judgement you get from others due to a mental illness, and in a situation like this, what should I do?

  • I would love to see a video on how to explain anxiety to people who don’t think it’s real. I’ve been dealing with social anxiety, g.a.d, and panic attacks for almost 4 years, and my parents think I’m making it up and doing it for attention. I’ve tried explaining it to them, but they just make jokes out of it. I want them to understand why I can’t go some places, why doing the simplest tasks is almost impossible, and why people terrify me.

  • Hey Kati! 

    I would love to see a video about how to deal with anxiety connected to making choices. I think it is sometimes called “The Doubting Disease”, also linked to OCD but mainly focusing on extreme anxiety about making a choice, for example choosing a life partner, a job, and where to live etc. All of that resulting in passivity and destructive coping, are there any strategies, insights or therapies you can recommend that’s helpful? I hope you know what I mean:)

  • I get ignored often, particularly by women at my workplace because im not somebody they can a) suck up to, not being a manager or b) someone they can manipulate into doing their job for them and c) uninterested in gossiping about other people. I do like a bit of drama not involving me lol but i refuse to play workplace politics and just get on with things. The younger women in particular seem to think i’m not worthy to talk to. Im there to do a job, not get involved with bitching or play huggy women to face and slag off behind back. Not my style.

  • I would like to see a video about how people who were bullied in the past are in relationships as adults. My ex usually blame me for our problems (cause I open up myself about the traumas from my alcoholic parents) but he never admitted he has issues from the time he was bullied.(He even tried to suicide at that time). I would like to understand more. Thank youuuu

  • All the people who bullied me in elementary school are now in middle school with me and do drugs. People tell me I wasn’t truly bullied because I’m just being sensitive. And people tell me “hun it’s your bedtime” if somehow these people are able to get drugs, this isn’t the 3rd grade anymore, we need to worry about those who are being bullied today.

  • Hey there is a great book idea. Check it out.
    Taming Toxic People: The Science of Identifying and Dealing with Psychopaths at Work & at Home
    by David Gillespie

  • I’m also pigeon toed and in fact I’m going to the hospital today because of it. As corny as it sounds I’m thankful to hear that there are other people all around the world with talipes. Thank you �� ��

  • mr russel have you ever read the Quran?you might find what you’ve been loking for or hear Dr. Laurence Brown he is an A merican dr who converted to Islam

  • Dr described my situation as complex childhood and complex adulthood. In short my life has been sh*t, on tablets for depression, neurpathic pain and narcalepsy. (lived undiagnosed for 50 years) I have been encouraged (again) to seek out talk therapy to process grief and loss. I usually give the therapist a brief outline, and then start asking for ideas to help deal with this stuff. I always give up when they start asking loads of questions as though they are writing their thesis. I’m 65 now and exhausted, I just want to have a quiet life without all the side effects from pills…brain fog, co-ordination probs, falls. I’m still depressed even though I take the meds, and there has been many changes to tabs and doses I dont enjoy art, reading,gardening anymore, all I do is watch tv or surf internet. I walk about 1 km a day, but mostly to look at the gardens in my area, and help learn to keep balance better. NOW that has been reduced as I have had falls in the street, twice whilst crossing the road. Doc knows, switched meds, but still same.
    Why do I still feel depressed when I take anti-depressants?
    I’m not suicidal, but I wouldn’t argue with God if he wanted me to “go home” right now. I am divorced and my only child has grown up and moved to another city with friends, we have twice year contact even though I send hello emails and tell him of the activities of his cat. Last Christmas I adopted 2 kittens of my own and love their daily antics. I did this because I could feel myself slipping further into depression.

  • Okay what if the shit things happened to us and somehow we get over it are there any chances those things will hunt us in the future?

  • Oh and the guy with the wisdom hands, at first I was like “how bad could his hands be” and then when u saw his hands I was like “omg his hands look hella cool to me how can people make fun of that” but people always have to pick things out to do when they’re bored and do not have and eye for cool looking things

  • There’s a lack of mental health care in public schools. There should be more counselors available in public schools because poverty affects a lot of people physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.

    The bully and the person being bullied should have a professional to talk to.

    We have to teach children(while they’re young) to speak up when there is a problem to prevent emotional wounds and further conflict.

  • I don’t Understand.. Why Cant You just Brake The bullies nose? That’s what I do and they Come crying to There Mommy lol (I’m not a Bully. I just pick on the bullies lol)

  • I am also over wait and everyone would say that if I was beef I would be able to make 1000 Big Macs and at the end of the day I would always be taunted by that and now my self esteem is low and I don’t know what to do… I am in high school and this is putting pressure on me and I already have lots of things to worry about so, I… don’t know what… I can do about this… EVERY single person I meet laughs at me and teases me about my weight.������