10 Dos and Don ts Every Mother Needs to understand about Mother Shaming

 

HOW TO BE A HAPPY MOM! ��How to Deal With Mommy Guilt & Mom Shaming!

Video taken from the channel: A Place to Nest


 

How to NOT mom-shame (a handy tutorial)

Video taken from the channel: Kristina Kuzmic


 

Being a Single Mom By Choice 20 HARDEST THINGS

Video taken from the channel: PARENTING CHOICES Auntie Amy


 

Anxious Parenting 101 (How to be a MORE Anxious Mother -PARODY)

Video taken from the channel: The Parenting Junkie


 

Most Illogical Things Parents Do

Video taken from the channel: On Tap Studios


 

Mom Truths: How To Stop Worrying About Your Kids | TODAY

Video taken from the channel: TODAY


 

Single Mums NEED TO KNOW These Things When Raising A Boy! (r/AskReddit Top Posts)

Video taken from the channel: Reddit Master


10 Do’s and Don’ts Every Mom Needs to Know About Mom Shaming By Staff Reporter, Parent Herald March 01, 11:39 am TAG dos and donts about mom shaming, mom-shaming, moms, Mothers. People 10 Things Every Working Mom Needs Mother’s Day is almost here. Looking for something that will make a mom’s life easier?

We asked the experts (working moms). 7. A good mom doesn’t nit-pick or worry about the little things that do not matter. 8. A good mom doesn’t judge other moms.

9. A good mom doesn’t push herself or her children too hard. 10. A good mom doesn’t let others bring her down. A GOOD MOM DOES. 1. A good mom does give lots of hugs and kisses. 2.

10 THINGS EVERY MOM NEEDS TO KNOW Don’t forget to share this with the BEST moms you know! Danielle is the owner of Today’s the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day!

Today, we’re honored to have special guest, Lindsey Bell with us sharing 10 things every new mom should know. I recently ‘met’ Lindsey through cyberspace and found out that not only do we have the same agent, but we also have the same heart. I know you’ll love her heart as much as I do!

So, sweet moms, go grab a cup of coffee and sit back and enjoy reading some. 5 Things Every Mom Needs to Do For Herself Everyday health, mom tips, motherhood, self-care. At first I titled this post 5 Things Every SAHM Needs to Do For Herself Everyday. But I didn’t want to exclude work from home moms. And just including moms that stay home excludes mothers who work outside of the home, and I didn’t want to do that.

10 Things Every Mom Needs To Know Meet Kid President, Robby (age 10), he has Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) a brittle bone condition which has resulted in him having over 70 breaks since birth. But Robby doesn’t let his condition define who he is. It’s okay to need a break. When you’re caring for a little being 24/7, things can get intense! It’s okay – essential, even – to have some time to yourself.

You will be a better parent for it, I promise. 10. They really do grow up fast.

There will be a time, when you’re so sick and tired of poop and pee and leaky boobs and fussy. 12 Homeschooling Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know About. April 28, 2020. She shared one piece of useful advice every experienced homeschool mom gave her: and how I would know if my kids were doing okay or not.

I spoke with several veteran homeschool moms and they all had the same advice. Have fun with your children, enjoy the time while. Last year, I had a layout published in which I dispensed some parenting advice that I had gleaned over my years as a mom.

I’ve managed to keep my kids alive up to now so I think all of that advice still has merit and in my 4.3 minutes of allotted down time per day, Twenty Things Every Mom Needs to Know Read More ».

List of related literature:

Some mothers are embarrassed or find it difficult to ask for help.

“Breastfeeding Management for the Clinician” by Marsha Walker
from Breastfeeding Management for the Clinician
by Marsha Walker
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2016

Encourage mothers to think of themselves as a patient and not to worry about showering, dressing, or cleaning the house for a visitor.

“Counseling the Nursing Mother” by Judith Lauwers, Anna Swisher
from Counseling the Nursing Mother
by Judith Lauwers, Anna Swisher
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2015

It is not valid to assume that most mothers are aware of abuse, or even that they are “unconscious abettors.”10 Indicators that become obvious in hindsight are not at all obvious before abuse is revealed.

“The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the Church's Response” by Pamela Cooper-White
from The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the Church’s Response
by Pamela Cooper-White
Fortress Press, 1995

On the other hand, although mothers in a study by Browne (1989) reported improved self-esteem after 96 hours of instruction over a 24-week course, they also reported increased endorsement of physical punishment and increased inappropriate expectations.

“Prisoners Once Removed: The Impact of Incarceration and Reentry on Children, Families, and Communities” by Jeremy Travis, Travis, Michelle Waul
from Prisoners Once Removed: The Impact of Incarceration and Reentry on Children, Families, and Communities
by Jeremy Travis, Travis, Michelle Waul
Urban Institute Press, 2003

Variables such as her immaturity, definition of a good parent, or low self-esteem might affect her self-perception as a mother.

“Transitions Theory: Middle Range and Situation Specific Theories in Nursing Research and Practice” by Afaf I. Meleis, PhD, DrPS (hon), FAAN
from Transitions Theory: Middle Range and Situation Specific Theories in Nursing Research and Practice
by Afaf I. Meleis, PhD, DrPS (hon), FAAN
Springer Publishing Company, 2010

Fortunately some of the same modes of communication by which mothers convey dysfunctional views of dieting, body image, etc., such as modeling and direct verbal discussion, are also used by some mothers to teach their daughters healthy attitudes toward body and dieting (Ogle & Damhorst, 2003).

“Family Communication” by Chris Segrin, Jeanne Flora
from Family Communication
by Chris Segrin, Jeanne Flora
Taylor & Francis, 2011

And a final word about mom’s restraint of Tanika: Although play therapists should not engage in physical restraint, it is a natural part of parenting for parents to sometimes restrain their children.

“Advanced Play Therapy: Essential Conditions, Knowledge, and Skills for Child Practice” by Dee Ray
from Advanced Play Therapy: Essential Conditions, Knowledge, and Skills for Child Practice
by Dee Ray
Taylor & Francis, 2011

Mother states that she refuses to wear pull-ups and will soak through underwear and clothes 1 to 2 times per week.

“Campbell-Walsh Urology 11th Edition Review E-Book” by W. Scott McDougal, Alan J. Wein, Louis R. Kavoussi, Alan W. Partin, Craig A. Peters
from Campbell-Walsh Urology 11th Edition Review E-Book
by W. Scott McDougal, Alan J. Wein, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2015

Specific questioning of the mother about abuse with active listening and accurate documentation of responses In a careful review of the mother’s records, look for a history of abuse, depression, substance abuse, psychological symptoms, or a pattern of repeated visits for injuries, chronic pain, or other issues.

“Intrapartum Management Modules: A Perinatal Education Program” by Betsy B. Kennedy, Donna Jean Ruth, Elizabeth Jean Martin
from Intrapartum Management Modules: A Perinatal Education Program
by Betsy B. Kennedy, Donna Jean Ruth, Elizabeth Jean Martin
Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2009

‘My mum tried to cling on just by doing things like making my bed, going into my room and tidying it, hassling me about what clothes to wear and to brush my hair.

“The Making of Men: Raising boys to be happy, healthy and successful” by Dr. Arne Rubinstein
from The Making of Men: Raising boys to be happy, healthy and successful
by Dr. Arne Rubinstein
Xoum, 2013

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

View all posts

96 comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • I can’t get past half duration of this kind of videos ’cause I get sooo mad. I mean WTF I just want to slice someone’s throat right now.

  • I don’t have kids yet, but we are going to start trying. I fear the mom shaming so much, because I already know that I will do things differently than most everyone I know. I never voice my opinions about other people’s parenting styles because it’s their kids. But I know those same people will be the ones to judge and question my parenting style. Perhaps it’s the fact that they see you’re doing things better than them, and they question and interrogate you as a way to justify why their way is better when they know it’s not.

  • If your not a mom insert yourself when she says kids:) Great video Becky there are a ton of people telling you what you “should” be doing but your right you have to stand firm in the choices you make for yourself especially if you feel good about those choices.
    These things can be about anything even the clothes you wear, what tv shows you watch, what haircut you get, if you wear makeup or not, it’s so annoying when people try to make things that aren’t their business their business.

  • Excellent video Becky!! I think it is okay to be different too. We have to protect our children as much as we can these days. The society we live in gets darker and darker. For example The movies, commercials, magazines, etc. are so sensual and inappropriate. Or like you said, dropping our kids off with people we don’t know. As a Christian, we are stewards over our children and we have to take that seriously and not drift with the culture. Thanks for sharing!

  • You are taking the words right out of my mouth. Everything you said is exact how I feel. I live with people trying to tell me what is right or wrong about homeschooling. About what to do and not to do. I hate it. I believe in the words of the bible and people even judge me about religion. I wish that people would respect other people’s decisions. And pay attention about their own lives and focus on their own stuff!! Thank you for being honest..

  • God, my mum is HORRIBLE, she yells at me whenever i make a mistake and bought $200 shoes but refused to pay for my sisters hospital bills

  • That it’s okay to defend yourself if a girl hits you.
    I know it sounds bad but many women think it’s ok to hit men and because they’re female, nothing will happen to them. You ARE allowed to defend yourself.

  • Single moms raise babies to children, Dads raise childtens to adults.

    @ 9:37 good luck with that. With the number of SM addicted to drama and bad boys.

  • Hi!! I’m a new subscriber. I’ve really been loving your channel. I totally agree with everything you’ve said in this video. I am also a homeschooling mom and deal with a lot of these same things. Thank you for making this video!!

  • I feel pressured to homeschool my kids, but I work full time as the sole breadwinner, and my oldest is a Junior at IU studying psychology, my youngest graduated high school in May, and wants to be certified to be a daycare director. I feel that I am not qualified to homeschool them, because my field of study is different than what they want to pursue. Are there college level homeschool programs? Also my oldest qualified for 21st Century Scholars, which I don’t think covers homeschool. I feel that my kids will get a better education at an actual university.

  • LOVE LOVE LOVE!! I’m with you on this…I always get negative comments about homeschooling and the way I parent, specially from family. “ I’m to over protective” “I’m to old fashion” I don’t care! God entrusted my kids to me so I’m going to raise them the best way that I can…I have already grown thick skin.

  • My mom literally took away my socks and still hasn’t given them back it’s been about 8 months now. I have a pair of bomba socks and a pair of camo socks that’s it

  • Amen Becky!! Thank you for making this video! Thank you for speaking the words that often weigh on so many of us moms hearts and minds!��

  • If I could like this video more than once I would! I totally agree, I don’t feel comfortable leaving my child at strangers houses either. That is part of the reason I have a tough time finding a HS co-op that doesn’t expect you to just drop your kid off and leave. This video has to be one of my most favorites.Thanks for sharing! ❤️

  • I love what pastor Charles Neuman from abundant living faith center in el paso says. He was not a cool dad or his wife a cool mom but their fruit is amazing. Both their kids are grown with children serving God.

  • Thank you for this video. I’ve always wanted to he a single parent since I was a child. Now that I’m s grown women I’m ready to start taking steps foward towards it. This is great insight to think about. Thank you.

  • I needed my 4 wisdom teeth out abs braces and my mom said we had no money then had ten thousand in cosmetic dentestry done on herself

  • Can I ask, Amy how old were you when you started IVF, how many rounds of IVF did it take you to have your first baby, how many eggs were retrieved per cycle?

  • I’m not a mom, however, I have seen this stuff and It’s horrible. It’s constant judgment. You do/don’t eat well enough. You do/don’t do public school. You work/don’t work as a mom. You don’t have kids/You have too many! You spoil your kids. Everyone has a different life. We don’t understand their situation, and it’s none of our business.

  • I’ve got a tip.

    Teach them to control their aggression and how to focus it constructively. I took care of both a little girl and a little boy that belonged to another family. One day, the boy kept messing up with a lego rocket ship he was building in the kitchen and got visibly upset. Having the same reactions I do when I get mad or pissed off, I knew exactly where to cut him off from toxic anger and turned him towards the constructive side of it. I told him “Find out what you did wrong and why it was working and try and fix it.”. He does and hugged me for helping control his anger:D!

    Nah I made that last part up but it did get finished and the rocket looked awesome!

  • I am not a parent, but my husband and I see that with both our friends who are parents, and also experience that pressure on ourselves about our decisions. That pressure is out there regardless and it’s important to be confident in your choices and in who you are. I think too many people miss that message and are hurt because of it.

  • I’m glad I’m not the only 1 who gets driven crazy by shit my parents do… I mean, I’m not the sharpest tool or brightest bulb, but holy shit…

  • My parents are sticklers for being on time. If something started at 11:00 and we live 15 minutes away we left the house at 10:30 to get there at 10:45. That’s not the crazy part. The crazy part was if they said we’re leaving at 10:30 and I was ready at 10:32 they’d yell at me for at least 10 minutes, making us leave even later than we would’ve. And so we’d either be only a little bit early or on time. Then they’d be mad at me for that too as if my 120 seconds was the reason we got there 10 minutes after they planned to �� like ig they have a right to be upset bc I was late but I don’t think it justified being yelled at for 10 minutes. And if they wanted to yell at me that bad they could’ve done it in the car on the way ����‍♀️

  • List of things I was criticized for by my family:
    -Giving him a pacifier at 3 weeks old
    -Having lactation failure after post part preeclampsia
    -not giving my son enough sun exposure before 6 months of age
    -not taking him out enough
    -taking him out too much
    -that it’s my fault he has GERD
    -that how could I let him catch a cold
    that he has not gotten enough colds
    how much diapers/pacifiers/clothes I buy (I bulk shop because it’s cheaper)
    what I feed him (too much/too little)
    -endless other petty things
    At the end of the day all I did was feel like an absolute failure because everyone always had something negative to say. Looking back and I realize that I am a great mom. My son is loved, fed, clothed, and mostly a happy little dude. I love him with all my heart and try the best that I can. I am far from perfect but I do give it my all. Mommy judging is ridiculous and hope people realize how mean it actually is.

  • My mother doesnt understand how my job works. Sure, she never worked as a landscaper, but she doesnt want me to do things the way theyre meant to be done.
    Sure i could fell a tree with an axe or a chainsaw, but no those will destroy the tree for good, so i should use my handsaw thats 5 inches long and meant for branches, to cut a 25 inch tree, thats 70 years old.
    We later had a 4 hour discussion, in which i had to explain to her why i wont use that handsaw, and why i will use an axe or a chainsaw.
    Note: it was a very old, small but wide apple tree, and should be replaced with an Oaktree.

    And one time she wanted me to handcraft her a pretty and revolutionary looking night stand, using sandpaper only… even tho i had the tools needed.

    Its always things like these. She wants me to do stuff for her, in the most illogical ways possible…

  • I live with my bf of 8 years and he’s the father of my 4 kids and I have to still do everything like if I was single. Then I’m better off being single.

  • This video was so encouraging! My oldest is 8 and is starting to get very social and I know we are going to have some battles ahead of us due to our boundaries. I am dreading them because I am a former people pleaser (I still struggle!), but my kids safety must come first. Thank you for posting!

  • I currently have three kids: the first two are twins and they are 11 years old, and my last baby is 2yrs old. I tried to do my best to be a good mother and wife, however their dads decided the grass was greener on the other side. Now I want to complete my family by having 1 or 2 more kids and I am seriously thinking of doing it on my own. A man can decide to leave you when ever they want, therefore I am just going to do it on my own.

  • I always imagined having my own children, no man, since I was a little girl. Next year I will be buying donor sperm, and I am excited to start the process. A little worried about incest, but when they are of sexual age I will have a conversation with them about it and to be very careful, and that’s all I can do.

  • My husband has terminal cancer and we really want to have a baby together while we have time. I am researching as much as I can about solo parenting. Your video has been really helpful. I would love to find other like-minded young women who are going to be parenting solo.

  • I am planning on becoming an SMC eventually (if I can ever get myself better) mostly because of being Aromantic Asexual and not desiring to have a relationship with anyone… but I am also picky and wouldn’t work well with essentially a stranger anyways lol… I am so glad you are doing this channel and am almost sad to say that this channel may just be better than LF8F… but as you own both… that isn’t a problem lol ��

  • Becky, this is one of my favorite videos! I wonder who hasn’t dealt with some form of shaming. I think anyone who has homeschooled for a while has been through it. “My kids went to….and they’re okay.” (25+ years ago!) “Why don’t you_?”
    Two rules of thumb we live by is: 1) We would rather get to Heaven and have the Lord tell us we could have done (whatever) than to get to Heaven and find out we shouldn’t have done it.
    2) We have to give an account to God of our actions, so the only One I need to be concerned with is Him.
    Does that make it easy? No. It’s hard to hear all the “You need to….” That being said, we just stand firm. So many who know us, just don’t even ask anymore. We deal with mostly with activities.

  • As a fairly new parent, I understand getting mad at people for using the bathroom after it’s been cleaned, and I can tell you a secret….if you clean up the bathroom behind you when your done, and leave it clean like you found it your moms wont be crazy about it anymore lmao

  • I LOVE this whole video! Agree %100 with the entire thing and it is SO good to hear someone talk about following the Bible! It’s so rare to hear this. Thank you. God bless you and your family!!

  • A lot of stories and of them all, only 3 were dad-centric craziness, 5 were family-centric craziness, and the vast majority were women who are just crazy. Make of it what you will.

  • This video was fantastic. I am in the planing process of becoming a single mother by choice, and you raised some very good points some things I hadn’t even considered such as bias from family and not having anyone to share the milestones with. I’m still dedicated to this journey, just a little more aware. I’ll definitely be checking out your channel!

  • This was so beneficial for me. I’m starting my own research into becoming a single mother. I have fertility issues that make my window for conceiving very small and as a single woman I don’t have much time left. This video helped me to see some of the issues I need to consider and think about as I move forward. Thank you!

  • Honestly the biggest mom shameers are your parents and grandparents…they know it all, and whatever you do is just not good enough.

  • the my mother yells across the house to get me to go over there. i became a lazy sheite and got a loud as megaphone so there is no reason she cant hear me… She frikin hates it

  • Thank you a lot for the video, you said a lot of interesting things:) Right now I’m collecting all information I can find for this topic, cuz if I don’t find a husband until I’m 25 I’m going to have kids on my own (I’m 19 at the moment), I can only imagine how hard it must cope with everything on your own, but still I do think kids are the most important thing in life and it’s worth it

    #3 This is the best thing about beeing a single mom:D You don’t have to make compromises and can raise a kid according to your standards and values

    #20 honestly I’ve never thought about that, it must be incredibly hard:(

  • Me: (gets C) OMG!! I need to do better.
    Other student: (gets a C)
    Me to that other student: GOOD JOB!! You did your best!

    This video made me realize I hold myself to standards I don’t hold other people to. For the mom in her PJS one, I wouldn’t care if I saw someone in his or her PJs. If anything I’d think they look amazing and comfortable. Plus it’s not my business to judge them for being in their PJs in public. But I’d be embarrassed to do it myself wondering what other people think of me. Because I don’t care what other people do I just care what I do.

  • My children are older now, but I never let them go to anyone’s home that I never have met…even if it was a birthday party! I enjoyed this video very much!!! Great advice!!! By the way, do you still associate with any of the women that told you what you should or should not be doing with your girls? Janel in NJ

  • the move the car thing at 16:38 happened to me. exept it was my brother he did it picking me up from martial arts.
    safe to say the game stoped when i had been out there in the rain for 10 minutes and I no joke just kicked the car. ( had to replace the damn right fender)

  • I’m almost 18, but I have some serious baby fever. I don’t want to be in my late 20s or early 30s when I have a kid. I’m hoping to maybe have a baby at 18 or 19. I’m not planning on being in a relationship, so what age do I have to be to be eligible for something like artificial insemination or IVF?

  • My dad would scream if I ever left a light or fan on in my room when I left it, even if I was just going to the bathroom. He’d scream if I took too long grabbing something out of the refrigerator. He was paranoid about the damn electric bill. He sleeps with a TV on.

  • I have come down to the point of just posting this video to any comments on facebook statuses telling other women how to raise their babies or telling them how to take care of their babies.

    As women we should only be worried about boosting each other up not tearing them down.

    Thank you for making this video it’s become quite useful for dealing with Mom-Shamers.

  • Girl! You Got Me Laughing Too Damn Loud In Public!!! You Are So Ridiculously Good At What You Do! I Don’t Know Where To Begin! I Am Addicted To All Your Videos! My Love For You Knows No Bounds!!!
    You Are So Freakin’ Awesome!!!!
    Just, Thanks, Girl! Thanks!��❤����
    #realmomgoals,
    #shekeepsitreal, #sisterfromanothermister,
    #letssticktogetherladies,
    #momssupportmoms

  • The one where the mom and the other immediate female family members showed up after the story writer didn’t answer the phone should actually cut them out for a period of time with a no contact/very little contact by phone order. (If that’s even a thing)

  • Thank you for all the time and energy you put into creating, editing, and uploading your videos. Your message is always so positive!

  • 15:19 My Mom also thinks the same…
    And the only console I have is a NES so I am forced to play it on a 20 year old CRT…. Duh….

  • As a dad seeing the daily struggle and being shoulder to shoulder with my wife. Parenthood IS tough and we need to support each other. Thanks for posting this. Sub’d.

  • My mom liked to do this thing where she had to be married even if the only kind of guy who would marry her instantly after a divorce was incredibly controlling and abusive to her and her kids… I live with my dad noe

  • Did anyone else have a gag reflex triggered by the “poop butterknife”? Jesuseffingchrist.

    Is it just a bunch of crazy boomers? Because whenever my friends or I did something weirdly illogical-usually some habit we picked up from our boomer parents-the others would stage a gentle intervention. One of us would, in the most non-judgmental way, gently ask, “um…dude? Is there a reason you completely scrub the food off the dishes, then soak them in hot, soapy water for an hour to sterilize them, and then hand dry them with a towel BEFORE loading them into the dishwasher? Because I’m pretty sure the dishwasher will handle most of that for you, unless the food is, like, really dried on the dishes; look, the dishwasher even has settings for ‘sterilize’ and ‘dry’.” And whichever one of us did the odd thing (none of use was exempt) would open his or her mouth about to launch into a spirited defense, then stop, look around, think about it for a minute, and say something like, “you know, I’m not sure. It’s just how my parents always made me do it so I never questioned it.”

    Sometimes there would be more discussion, and occasionally what one of us did that seemed illogical to others actually did have a justification: I insisted once that it was a bad idea to install shelves directly over one’s bed, particularly in the area where one’s head rested when sleeping because I grew up in SoCal with earthquakes, and having items on a shelf over your head is just asking to wake up to a concussion or broken nose/teeth. I moved from SoCal in high school to a place that didn’t get regular earthquakes, so none of my adult friends had experienced one, but the area was known at to be susceptible to them, and anyway, things may fall cause stuff to fall off a shelf, so the rule od “nothing that could fall hanging over the bed” became a widely adopted, sensible safety precaution among my friends in their homes. Most of the time though, the behavior that was called out as weird and/or illogical was, in fact, very much so; the person doing it admitted as much, thanked their friends for the perspective, and altered or ceased the behavior entirely.

    So again, how do people get to be middle-aged, home-owning, ostensibly responsible, adult parents doing weird shit that makes no damn sense, like buying expensive food no one is allowed to eat, then complaining when it spoils, uneaten. Or believe so strongly that some electrical device is going to set the house ablaze in the night that no one is allowed to be on a powered up smartphone, let alone plug in and run the air conditioner? There’s a hint of logic in that one: maybe 70 or 90 yrs ago, before grounded plugs, good circuit-breakers in houses and built into devices themselves; before smoke detectors and flame-retardant building materials and household upholstery, an appliance might short-circuit, which might cause a fire, which could potentially spread and become deadly if unnoticed in the night. But that hasn’t been a danger for decades. How are people allowed to live for so long with unchallenged delusions that significantly impact the comfort, convenience, and actual safety of others? Shitty friends? Shitty personalities that can’t handle even the most kindly, well-intended critique? Wtf?

  • I have some questions to ask you:

    1. What about single fathers? Would they have different issues as opposed to single mothers?
    2. What is the deal with sperm donation? Would you have to worry about your children when they get married, have children, or whatnot because of the potential for the spouse to be their half-sibling!!?? BTWThis is why I do not believe in sperm donation!!!
    3. What would they think of you if you conceived a biracial child through sperm donation!!?? Would they look differently on you because your children do not resemble you at all?
    4. Here in the USA, our foster care and adoption system are not that good of a system. Foster children tend to land in trouble later in life. What are your thoughts on this?

  • Love your video!! Once my daughter was invited to a birthday party and a sleepover. It was a little girl in her glass at school, and I didn’t know her or her parents. I allowed my daughter to attend the party, but I explained to the the mother that I would be picking her up before the sleepover. I was so glad I trusted my instincts. When I went back to pick her up, there were a lot of adults in the house and all were drinking alcohol it appeared that some had already had a little bit too much to drink. I know I’m old-fashioned, but I was appalled at adults getting drunk at a little girl’s birthday party!

  • Hi Amy
    New SUB here.
    I am also a Single parent by Choice via a Kind Donor to a 5 month old darling girl.
    We vlog our lives on our channel Eve & Artie. I am currently in the mindspin of deciding whether or not to have another child but unfortunately I might not be able to get the same donor.
    100% agree with No.7!
    Thinking No.9 will come once my girl is a little older.
    Thank you for sharing this ����

  • All of what you are saying is valid. I have had similar experiences and was also a teen who dared to be different and im a mom who chooses to do the same

  • Love this video! I respect you for staying true to what you believe!
    I’m not a religious person and may have different views opinions on certain things, but the overall message of this video is wonderful and encouraging!
    Much love to you!❤❤

  • I was totally shocked when I learned recently that it’s apparently common to drop off young children at a birthday party at someone’s home without having ever met the host parents. I would not feel comfortable doing that. At the same time, I’m like you, I’m not going to bash anyone who chooses to do something like that. It’s just not for me.

  • Still experiencing mom shaming at work as a mom of an 18 and 22 year old, even though I have great kids. Thanks for doing this video. It helped me in my moment of hurt.

  • The teasing thing is so true!! I’m a woman and I still won’t talk to my parents about any potential interests/boyfriends. I gate being teased and they always blew it off when I said so.

  • 100% agree! When I was a kid in the 80’s and 90’s, we would have been called “overprotective”. These days…it just makes good sense. The world is vastly different now. You only get one chance with your children…life is not a dress rehearsal! ❤️

  • Hi! I’ve loved watching this and you are spot on about it all! I’m a Solo Mum to two kids. I would love some more (at least one, maybe two) as I always dreamed of more kids. I’ve never come across a Solo Mum with more than three. How is it being a Solo Mum of 5? Besides the obvious financial implications of that, how do the. Kids feel about it and what reactions have you had to that from others? I have frozen embryos waiting, so having more is a decision I have to start thinking through thoroughly even though my youngest is only 4 months.

  • I have been so thankful I haven’t had to deal with too much negativity about homeschooling or my decisions with my kids. I assume people know me well enough they better not say anything to me lol. I have a 19 year old and a 5 year old. I adopted my son in my 40s just out of the blue. We had no expectations or plans to ever adopt. My daughter was 16 at the time and I was almost finish raising her. I have had 100% support then gasp ������ we decided to homeschool because I just frankly don’t feel like putting up with the stuff I was beginning to have to deal with in public school. Every time I say I’m homeschooling him I cringe a little expecting some kind of comment but so far I have only been encouraged by everyone except for one person who believes I “need a break” but even this person was very cautious and was just “trying” to be helpful. We do live in an area with a large homeschool population so maybe that has been helpful. We had our first doctors appointment today where the dr asked if he had started kindergarten and my son said proudly “Yes, I’m in kindergarten and we are homeschooling” lol the doctor just said that’s great. I just keep holding my breath I know it will come eventually but I’m very good at the whole “Aren’t you glad you got to raise your kids how you see fit, I know I’m glad I get to raise mine.” That usually shuts people up really quickly. I’m fairly confident in my decisions and when it comes to my kids no one, and I mean no one will ever convince me to change anything that I firmly believe that is best for them. When my daughter was in school I was very picky as to why she could stay with or even visit. I made a point to be. Rey involved. Everyone knew me at the school and I usually met her friends parents working there with them. I had the confidence of the teachers and I could talk freely with them.I often got to know most of the kids and kids can be very open and they tell a lot of stuff on their parents �� you just learn to watch and listen.

  • Dad used to put me and my brother inside a large water bucket if we cant correctly remember some random fact from school textbook. We stays in the bucket with lid slightly open for air while he watch tv until we remembered and be let out or be slapped after he’s bored watching tv. 10 years later he kept questioning why none of his kids likes him, since he’s such a swell dad. I dont hate him, but my body kept screaming danger everytime he’s within my 3 meter radius.

  • My mom seems incapable of logical thinking (Example: Keeps piling trash on top of can until the overflow is as tall as the can and calls us over to tell us to help her when she puts a second bag on the top and flip it all like a fricking sandcastle because she thinks that the second bag will hold more somehow)
    but flips out when we tell her she is wrong. (Me: Just put the extra trash in the other bag. you won’t get all that in one bag just because it’s not in a container.
    Mom: “STOP GETTING AN ATTITUDE AND LISTEN TO WHAT I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU!” goes back to explaining her plan of “I’ll hold the bag, you flip it upside down so it goes in and we’ll tie the two bags together so one of the guys can carry it out”)
    She also gets mad when I, a twenty-something old woman, buys something frivalous to treat myself because she thinks I “can’t afford to just keep buying things” but insists that I redecorate the kitchen and bathroom every couple of months like she does; she does so because she gets bored of seeing the same stuff everyday.

  • Thank you for this. Great encouragement for the day. I saw a sign yesterday, “Heaven: don’t miss it for the world.” Seems fitting here. Fairly new subscriber. Glad I stayed.

  • This is so sad. I have a wonderful husband who works during the day and helps me in the evening plus grandparents. I don’t know why anyone wants to do that to themselves. Extra 100k a year, love, help why would anyone refuse of that willingly?!

  • Good for you! I completely agree. I live to what makes my home loving, safe and happy. If we were in the position I would definitely home school. I believe in it wholeheartedly and good for you for your strenth. Thanks for shating with us.

  • If i still had Facebook, thia would be shared daily. But I’ll share on Twitter. Because Twitter needs this.
    When i was recently pregnant with my 5th (6th pregnancy, 5th delivery, 4th we’d get to bring home), you’d be AMAZED how many told me “aren’t you done having babies?!?” Umm, none of your business. No, it wasn’t planned, but just because it was a surprise blessing doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when you talk to me like that. Just like commenting on my big belly (you deliver babies that are nearly 8 to almost 9 1/2# and see how big your belly is), commenting on how rough i look and all, it HURTS! I don’t care if she looks like she’s been hit by a fleet of buses. Tell her she’s gorgeous and doing great!

  • Awesome video/advice. Everyone needs to hear this message whether religious or not. I felt you were talking straight to me. Thank you.

  • about the diaper…
    ..its not that cold air hits and they pee. just loosen the diaper and leave the front part down and wait. it’s that the pressure of the diaper makes it harder for them to go pee.

  • ANOTHER fabulous video, Kristina!! ����
    In the situation with the kid acting up I usually try helping the mom. Or just ask if she needs help. Sometimes just distracting the kid from its tantrum is enough to get the child to obey the parent.

    Funny story I was determined when my daughters were young ( I’m talking 4 and 3) to teach them empathy. I’d point out things going on around us and ask how they think the people felt.

    Well we’re at the mall once and there’s kid being a tyrant to his mom. Even hitting her. My 3yo gets up and runs over and says “you’re bad!! You’re making your mommy sad! You say your sorry!!”

    The kid was floored. His mom was floored. And my 3 yo was triumphant.

    The mom wound up thanking me cuz her son was still so confused like 15 min later.

  • I am a Muslim and what you have just said sounds so familiar that’s what’s taught to us by my parents n grandparents that you have to stick to your faith in my case it’s QuranMajeed. N no matter what’s the world is telling you have to believe in God teachings. Coz he always have better plans for us.

  • Great points! I think the problem with feeling guilt mostly comes from personality types. I admit I do have a bit of a people pleaser personality, but the stronger D personality (that doesn’t care what people think) has become more dominant over the years. I am blessed to be married to a man that is also D dominant as well so that helps when it comes to parenting. I can’t say that we have received any judgement for homeschooling (I was homeschooled and heard it all the time though!) our kids, but have over parenting. I have a friend who lives in another state and I can say the homeschool group she hangs out with are very judgemental and vocal, not only about homeschooling, but everything in life you can think of! My homeschool support group is not like that at all. We are what society labels helicopter parents, but I am proud of it 😉 I am not even comfortable with cousins coming over to OUR house for sleepovers. Statistics show that the majority of children that are molested are by family and close friends. I don’t care how well I think I know a person or how “great a Christian” I think they are, people can still hide deep sin and until my children are 18 years old I am responsible for protecting them to the best of my ability. I have read too many stories of children also being molested or exposed to pornographic material by other children and it happens in a blink of an eye….. even at church! We are at every church activity with them and any other activity we do (we don’t do many for several reasons). I know my husband has received negative comments from family about our parenting. If I had any said to my face I would tell them to shove it though lol! It is important that parents set boundaries to family or friends that keep crossing those lines. I highly suggest the “Boundaries” book for anyone that needs the encouragement and strategies to take control of these situations in their lives.

  • You look just like Gypsy when the kids were little! Your such a great mom! You look like you’re feeling better and I hope you are:) Thanks for sharing these cute clips of the kids!
    I have a family friend (church) that’s a single parent, the “father” lives halfway across the country (USA) and is a bartender. She has no weekends/summers off and no monetary support since he works mostly for tips. Her son has febrile seizures (lots of ER visits) however theyve lessened now that he’s older. Her family isn’t happy that she’s a single mom with a deadbeat dad (they say “I suppose you think we’ll raise him”) so she distances from them. We offer to babysit alot but she is doesn’t take us up on it. Her son is such a well mannered appreciative boy. I think she could relate alot to you. I don’t understand why ppl wouldn’t appreciate that your doing this on your own especially being a parent themselves…at the very least least for your kids. God bless you and your family!

  • This is so helpful, thank you!! I am planning to have a baby on my own by age 35 (in three years). I want to be prepared as much as I can.

  • I love everything about this video! What you are doing is so incredibly unique, important, and inspiring! Thank you, and thank you again!

  • My mother refused to get a dishwasher because, “I have you” and sure enough, as soon as I moved out she got a dishwasher! There were still 3 kids living at home who were never expected to wash dishes or even to load or unload the dishwasher. Whenever I visited guess who had to wash the dishes ny hand☹️

  • My children have friends of which are mostly other homeschoolers or church aquaintances. We do not allow our children to stay the night even with friends…who knows who can stop by for a visit even if you truly feel peace with the parents. I also feel that my main job as a mother is to build our home and the relationships within and teach our children to be a blessing. I personally could not do that priority if I was chauffeuring my children all over the place to activities and friends houses. I am sure some moms are more extroverted than me and doing those things are enjoyable for them, but I find it so draining that I would be worthless at home.

  • I love you So much you give me so much hope. Thank you. I wish I lived in your state would love to have toddler play date with our 3 year old. It would be so much fun. You life my spirits up every time I watch your videos.

  • Amen…Amen….
    I wish I can give you a million likes!
    Personally, I don’t give a rotten banana about how people lead their lives. We are a conservative family who loves and worship God above all. My daughters love homeschool, and I love spending time with them. It’s an amazing bond we have thanks to homeschool. I am sure God wanted me to do this. This is an amazing video Becky, You took all the words out of my mouth. Listening to you it tells me that there’s hope in the world. God bless you!

  • Thank you, thank you for making this video!! I agree 100%
    Being a parent these days is hard enough, but add christian homeschoolers to that…
    It is an uphill climb, but absolutely worth every step.
    I love the Lord and I love my kids. And I also love the freedom that comes with living in the US, we’re allowed to homeschool and teach our kids the way we see fit. Despite what society might tell us.

  • I think you’re right about it being easier to go from already being a single parent (by accident) to being a single parent by choice. Family is definitely a tricky issue to navigate, especially when they’re conservative and like everything to be as traditional as possible. Perhaps in time as awareness grows, this will get better.

  • Thank you. I love this so much. This climate of women shaming each other needs to stop! We are all doing the best we can. It takes a village in this world and we should all come together to create that village!

  • people makes me feel that way too! they think that something is wrong with me for doing home schooling, different or unique is great! God Bless you ��

  • I feel the same way. I feel like other people don’t agree with some of the decisions we have made for our children. Even some of my family members weren’t big fans of our decision to homeschool in the beginning. Some of them think I should be working instead of being a stay at home mom. I feel like staying home with them, educating them, and providing a Christian foundation for them is my purpose in life. I have lost a lot of friends because I put the needs of my children ahead of my own. But that’s my choice. I would rather stay at home and take care of them than to go on a trip with my friends without them.

  • Realize that you just really fucked up your life and your child needs a father proper father figure to understand logic and self growth.

  • My mom calls my name, says to come there, I’ll ask why and she gets pissed and says ” BECAUSE I ASKED YOU TO!”

    There’s literally no reason for her to do this, it’s not like I’m just gonna say no, I just wanna know what the heck she wants from me

    Half the time it’s trivial things like asking for something that’s sitting like a foot away from her, or to tell me something she could have just told me from where I was.

    What’s so terrible about just saying “I wanna tell you something” or “Can you get me X?”

  • And also don’t use words like too tiny, “is that healthy”, etc, when describing her belly, because there are a lot of thin women out there with “tiny” bellies during their pregnancies, who have healthy lives and healthy babies, and you don’t know if it is due to some kind of special exercising and dieting, or that’s just the way they are and they can’t do anything about it, which is often the case.

  • My mom used to do this thing where if I got a call from one of my friends to hang while we were out doing errands or the like I would ask her how long it would be until we got back home. I’d ask how far we are, how many mlre things there were to do, how long she though that would all take, etc. Then I’d tell my friends and say I would be there in an hour or whatever. Then the momment after I hung up she would turn the opposite direction fo where we were going because all of a sudden there were 6 other things that needed to be done now that didn’t need to be done 30 seconds prior and I end up being 3 hours late. This stopped after I got my own license amd refused to let her drive anymore. She would still try and do this sudden extra thing but because I was driving I would always put my foot down. She hated driving mlre then she liked to inconvenience me so I eventually won out.

  • Amen amen! I honestly could give a rat’s patootie what the majority of people or parents are doing with their kids or even just themselves. Why do people even care about what someone else is doing?! Focus on yourself ��! Anyway, great video thanks!

  • Hi Becky, I homeschool my kiddos and I even have family members who don’t like that I homeschool. But I do not like the public school system, I myself do not drop my kids off with people I don’t know just can’t trust a lot of people these days. Someone always has something to say just because lol.great video