What’s Considered Sexual Assault

 

08-Sexual Assault Definitions

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Was It Assault?

Video taken from the channel: sexplanations


 

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Survivors Of Sexual Violence | Can Ask Meh?

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Things Not To Say To Someone Who’s Been Sexually Assaulted

Video taken from the channel: BBC Three


 

What Is Sexual Assault?

Video taken from the channel: AMAZE Org


Sexual assault is any type of forced or coerced sexual contact or behavior that happens without consent. Consent is a clear “yes” to sexual activity. You know and understand what is going on and what you want to do, and you’re sober. It’s OK to consent and change your mind, even after sexual activity has started. Sexual assault is any type of sexual activity or contact that you do not consent to.

Sexual assault can happen through physical force or threats of force or if the attacker gave the victim drugs or alcohol as part of the assault. Sexual assault includes rape and sexual coercion. Rape is often considered the most severe form of sexual assault, is considered a crime in every state, and is punishable by one year to up to a lifetime in prison. States have differing statutes of limitations for sexual assault that is considered rape (penetration without consent or by use of force).

The sexual assault definition is as any sexual act that violates the victim’s sexual integrity. Sexual assault is non-consensual and does not depend on any specific part of the human body. A non-consensual sexual act is anything that lacks consent—or the. There are many different types of sexual assault.

Below is a list of the various acts that are considered sexual assault and abuse, as well as a short description of some of the most common types of assault. Sexual assault includes: Rape—sexual intercourse against a person’s will; Forcible sodomy—anal or oral sex against a person’s will. Sexual Assault: Definition Specific laws vary by state, but sexual assault generally refers to any crime in which the offender subjects the victim to sexual touching that is unwanted and offensive. These crimes can range from sexual groping or assault/battery, to attempted rape.

The statute states that sexual assault is defined as a person who commits a sexual act upon another person by: Threatening or placing the other person in fear Causing bodily harm to the person Making a fraudulent representation that the sexual act is for a professional purpose. Some workplace conduct is clearly sexual harassment—for example, unwanted kissing, touching of breasts or genitals, butt slapping, rape, other forms of sexual assault, requests for sexual favors, making sexually explicit comments, uninvited massages, sexually suggestive gestures, catcalls, ogling, or cornering someone in a tight space. What is considered sexual harassment at work? And how does it differ from non-sexual harassment? Sexual harassment in the workplace is a form of discrimination that includes any uninvited comments, conduct, or behavior regarding sex, gender, or sexual orientation.

Sexual Assault. Intentional sexual contact characterized by the use of force, threats, intimidation, or abuse of authority or when the victim does not or cannot consent.

List of related literature:

Definitions may vary from state to state, but sexual assault generally refers to any deliberate sexual contact to areas of the genitalia, anus, or mouth, or manual penetration of the victim’s body by way of force, threatened physical abuse, or abuse of authority or when the victim does not or cannot consent.

“Emergency Medicine Secrets E-Book” by Vincent J. Markovchick, Katherine M. Bakes, Jennie A. Buchanan, Peter T. Pons
from Emergency Medicine Secrets E-Book
by Vincent J. Markovchick, Katherine M. Bakes, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2010

The term sexual assault often refers to the entire continuum of criminal sexual behaviors, including completed or attempted unwanted sexual contact that may or may not include force, such as intentional grabbing or touching of the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks.

“Encyclopedia of Gender and Society” by Jodi O'Brien
from Encyclopedia of Gender and Society
by Jodi O’Brien
SAGE Publications, 2009

Sexual assault is a broader concept, defined as attempted or completed attacks that include unwanted sexual contact; it may include coercion or force, fondling, or verbal threats.

“Investigating Social Problems” by A. Javier Trevino
from Investigating Social Problems
by A. Javier Trevino
SAGE Publications, 2014

Further, the presence of a weapon, two or more assailants, or incapacitation of the victim (whether unconscious, mentally disabled, drugged, etc.) constitute an “aggravated” sexual assault.

“The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the Church's Response” by Pamela Cooper-White
from The Cry of Tamar: Violence Against Women and the Church’s Response
by Pamela Cooper-White
Fortress Press, 1995

[171] A sexual assault is a major sexual assault where the sexual assault is of a nature or character such that a reasonable person could foresee that it is likely to cause serious psychological or emotional harm, whether or not physical injury occurs.

“
from “The 325”: The Supreme Court and Our Criminal Code and Ors.
by Lyndon Maither, CFE, B.Comm
Lyndon Maither,

Sexual assault is generally defined as unwanted physical sexual contact that includes a range of behaviors from unwanted touching of a sexual nature to nonconsensual vaginal, anal, or oral penetration (rape).

“Evidence Based Treatments for Trauma-Related Psychological Disorders: A Practical Guide for Clinicians” by Ulrich Schnyder, Marylène Cloitre
from Evidence Based Treatments for Trauma-Related Psychological Disorders: A Practical Guide for Clinicians
by Ulrich Schnyder, Marylène Cloitre
Springer International Publishing, 2015

Statutes have created a new offense called sexual assault, defined in Texas as follows: “a person commits an offense if the person intentionally or knowingly caused the penetration of the anus or female sexual organ of another person who is not the spouse of the actor by any means, without that person’s consent.”

“A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage” by Bryan A. Garner
from A Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage
by Bryan A. Garner
Oxford University Press, 2001

Sexual assault Conduct of a sexual or indecent nature toward another person that is accompanied by actual or threatened physical force or that induces fear, shame, or mental suffering.

“New Dimensions in Women's Health” by Linda Lewis Alexander, Judith H. LaRosa, Helaine Bader, Susan Garfield
from New Dimensions in Women’s Health
by Linda Lewis Alexander, Judith H. LaRosa, et. al.
Jones & Bartlett Learning, LLC, 2009

Types of sexual assault include rape (sexual penetration), sexual assault (intentional touching of a sexual nature) and attempted or threatened rape or sexual assault (assault with intent to commit a sexual offence).

“Textbook of Adult Emergency Medicine E-Book” by Peter Cameron, Mark Little, Biswadev Mitra, Conor Deasy
from Textbook of Adult Emergency Medicine E-Book
by Peter Cameron, Mark Little, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Aggravated Sexual Assault Sexual assault, in most jurisdictions, is raised to the level of aggravated sexual assault if serious bodily injury results, a deadly weapon was used, or the victim was kidnapped.

“Criminal Investigation” by Ronald F. Becker
from Criminal Investigation
by Ronald F. Becker
Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2004

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

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Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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207 comments

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  • @AMAZE Org  how long in prison boy who 21 years old who rape or sexual assault girl who 21 years old in the UK should life in prison for sex crimes in UK

  • I was actually sexually assaulted by my older cousin this year in April and I’m sleeping over at his house on Saturday because I’m close with his sister and I’m scared of him

  • I’m here because I’m wondering if what happened to me counts as sexual assault. It happened when I was 9 or 10 but I forgot about it and randomly resurfaced when I was 19. I’m now 21.
    I don’t know. I feel like it’s something small, but everytime I think about it I feel disgusted and I wish it never happened. The memory always comes back when I’m in some of my lowest moods.

  • Thank you so much for saying that our body reacts. I was assaulted and I always feel guilty about it because of how my body reacted to the assault. Hearing two women talk about how our body reacts is very reassuring. “arousal does not equate consent!”

  • I was sexually assaulted from the age 4 or 5 to about 11 years old by a family member and every time I have sex Ed in school I already blow everything that they’re talking about and I’m honestly scared for my first time having sex because its traumatized me for life

  • so i get that sexual assault includes unwanted, invasive touching but what if the intent wasnt sexual? its still equally as painful and traumatic, but im not quite sure their intent was sexual

  • so…

    i was sexually assaulted by my 8 year old cousin. and I’m 12. i was way to scared to know what was happening. im so scared to tell someone. i don’t think anyone will believe me

  • I once got sexually assuted when i was 8 or 9 at the end i did’t know cuz i was that pure and could trust a stranger but now that im older i don’t know if he got caught since the next day he wasn’t there so he ran i guess now i know about this and i pretty much am more reserved and can defend myelf but i don’t know if it applies that im bi and ase sooo ya remember that if u get sexually assaulted tell someone you can trust even if they threathen u still tell someone they have no right to do that to u but i have a question doesn’t sexual assultment applies to pedos a lot?

  • This happened to me when I was around 8-9 (by my sister who was 3 years older than me) and I had to live about 12 years with her and just started remembering all the bad memories recently.

    I got mad at her one day and it came out, which obviously caused a whole situation.

    In the end one of my other siblings justified her actions by saying that she “didn’t get her period yet” or “didn’t know what she was doing” and I feel stupid for saying anything…

  • I had a friend who was toxic to me and other people but thank god I decided to end our friendship. In 9th grade, me and three other people, were playing around and my friend said something to me (wasn’t anything sexual I don’t think.) and then started to groped my genitals. I wasn’t comfortable with her doing it. I tried pushing her back but that didn’t stop her from doing it and after that I just gave up for some reason. After that, she went back to fooling around the other two. She only groped me for a few seconds and that was it. I didn’t really wanted her to do it and I was uncomfortable when she did it. I may sound stupid when I say this but I didn’t thought of it as being a sexual assault at the time. I didn’t thought it was till I thought about all the stupid stuff that I did after I ended our friendship.

  • I feel so heartbroken after hearing all of their stories… Especially the ones with the yellow outfitI just want to go give her a hug, I’m literally about to cry.

  • Is it sexual assault if your friend tried to carry you from behind but he grabbed ur chest area? After he did it I felt scared and he didn’t seem like he meant it but it was very akward and I was in shock.

  • What about if your parent or caregiver playfully hits your butt, but you can’t identify whether it’s sexual assault or not because it seems playful?

  • I’m always really worried that this can happen to my friend. That’s why I’m always with my friend,and when I’m not I always check her phone when I’m with her. I’m not mean I just don’t want this to happen to her

  • I love some of your videos but your first question to this interview is infuriating. “Were you asking for it?”, really? NO ONE would ask for it. NO ONE would want to be humiliated and violated in such an unforgiving way.

  • I feel bad for men who have been sexually assaulted. When a woman reports her case, The police actually do some thing. When a man reports his case, police laugh in his face.

  • Keep in mind:
    SEXUAL ASSAULT/RAPE HAPPENS TO ALL GENDERS.
    Even though the percentage of women/girls getting sexually assaulted/raped is higher than men/boys, that’s not an excuse to ignore the sexual assault/rape of men/boys.

  • I am looking for someone to talk to for advice on making a decision of whether or not to take my case to court. I was wanting to find a way to contact the lady in this video but I dont think her name was ever mentioned.

  • IMPORTANT THING: Men can be sexually assaulted too! If you are a man or boy, don’t be afraid to speak upit doesn’t make you any less manly.

  • When I was 10, I was sexually assaulted. It was horrible, I felt trapped, as if I couldn’t reach out to anyone, but I did reach out to the teacher. But she didn’t do anything. That made it worse, I eventually got depressed, and couldn’t live with what had happened to me. That’s why I’m writing this, to help kids who may be going through the same thing, I just want you to know your never alone and there’s people who you can talk to and understand you, if you still don’t feel confident I recommend kids helpline. Sexual assault isn’t a joke.

  • my assault and trauma resulted in me becoming a hypersexual person at a young age. it always made me wonder if it was invalid. i always thought that i had to be sex repulsed and disgusted but unfortunately i turned out like this. to this day i still wonder if everything was all in my head and it never happened since it was so long ago. i doubt my trauma’s validity often due to this.

  • I remember one time this guy kept trying to touch me down there and I kept pushing his hand away but he wouldn’t stop so I decided to be honest and said I’m not comfortable doing stuff like that and he said” Why did you get raped or something?” Completely caught me off guard so I was like well actually yeah I did. He then asked how so I told him the story and his exact words to me were “ You should really think about what you say because you can make OTHER people feel uncomfortable” then he raped me later that night all because I froze up once I realized omg he’s not listening to me It’s gonna happen again

  • I think we all need a friend like Sarah. I feel like kids especially middle schoolers or younger feel uncomfortable or distant with conversations like these. Im in middle school and every day I hear people mostly boys make jokes about rape and sexual assault and it just makes me feel very uncomfortable.

  • You cannot take back consent in North Carolina. It’s horrifying but true. You are giving false hope to North Carolinians with this video.

  • i’ll write my own answers to these questions

    1. were you drunk?
    no. during all 10 times it happened, i was sober. keep in mid these are 10 different assaults, all done within 7 years. i’m 15 by the way.

    2. what were you wearing?
    8/10 of the times i was wearing school uniform. i’m from a conservative school. my skirt in school is soooo long.

    3. men can’t be sexually assaulted.
    yes they can. i was assaulted by men and i’m a teen girl, but i have friends who have been assaulted by the same gender.

    4. why didn’t you fight?
    i was conscious the whole time. bear in mind these mostly happened in school, when i was 7 for the first time. i was afraid my assailant (schoolmate and sick old men) would kill me. i didn’t want to die.

    5. you must have wanted it a little bit
    NO. i would never wish this on anyone. that’s disgusting. I WAS 7.

    6. why didn’t you report it?
    i didn’t know it was wrong till i was 10. after that, i was too scared. i didn’t want to see my attackers in court or ever again. i’ve never told my parents. only my friends know.

    resulting from these experiences, i have depression and ptsd. please tell someone before it’s too late. you may be too scared to scream, but please know you are loved no matter what others say. i love you all.

  • I hate people who ask these things because I have been taken advantage of by several people, no I did not want it, I could not fight back I was a 5 year old and it continued until I was 13. I had several people say I was making it up

  • a female friend of mine was also sexually assaulted by her uncle.
    She was almost penetrated but luckily her mom got home on time.
    That’s what she stated to me.
    And she was only 5 that year.

  • The sincerity and helpfulness of this video almost had me in tears and I haven’t even been assaulted. I’m glad you and others like you are here in the world.

  • This was very informative, thank you!!

    In 8th grade a boy did something to me that I didn’t agree with, and I wasn’t sure if it was assault. Through this video I’ve learned it was

  • Someone said to me
    You must dress well in order to prevent the atmosphere for that when I didn’t even dress badly

    It made me feel bad and thought it was myself

  • When I was 8 or 9 my “friend” we were the same age. She said we were playing a game and made me take my pants down and started touching me and put her finger inside of me and she made me so the same thing to her as well. I blocked it out for 10 years but a few after she did that I still wanted to be her friend but one time I saw her with her friends and she was bullying me and her friends was laughing At me. Even after I still want to be her friend I was friends with her for 3 years and she would break my stuff and steal it. When I was 13 I was sexually abused by a boy the same age as me at the school desk I was supposed to help him with math and then I felt his hand on my legs and he rub me and touched me everywhere I got up and went in front of the teachers desk I wanted to tell her what happened but I didn’t so I grab a pen and sat back down next to him and he started to touch me again. When i got home I acted like I was fine. The next day mum woke me up for school I was scared so I told her. The police didn’t get involved cause me and him had autism and there was any cameras so he didn’t get in trouble only a person watched him for a week. He lied and said he he only touched my leg. The teachers said it was just puberty. The only thing that made me feel better was my blade to cut myself with. I’m 20 now and I’m still struggling with all these memories.

  • “You must have wanted it a little bit”
    Totally, I totally wanted to be groped by my abusive ex boyfriend after being told that I didnt want it about 3 times. Absolutely LOVED being guilt tripped into showing myself on call for him

  • If it happened at university/by another university student, you can also report to the title 9 office! It’s a non criminal investigation. (Being undocumented doesn’t mean you can’t file with the police) but this option is sometimes favored by undocumented students

  • This is so so hard and disgusting you had to struggle so hard to get justice And to try to prevent it from happening to anyone else! I’m so sorry. I’m so disgusted that if there isn’t physical evidence there isn’t Anything they can do to precede to prosecute the abusers! Omg please help survivors!

  • Adult: “Well, what were you wearing?”
    Me in highschool: “Besides the words stop and get off?”
    A: “You were probably wearing provocative clothing. So, what were you wearing?”
    M: “My primary school uniform trousers, shirt, and jumper…”
    A: ������

  • Where do people get the “You must have wanted it a little” logic from?
    Kinda makes me want to slap them and say “You must have wanted to be slapped, at least a little. Else why did it happen to you?”

  • Something I hide from my parents. Ive never talked about my brothers sexually assaulted me a couple times when he was drunk. He was my big brother. A lot bigger. I couldn’t fight. I was 10. He was 14. I didn’t like it. I still feel disgusted by it. And I have ptsd so next thing you know since I’m trans and wore tight jeans was bending over to pick up stuff from my locker. The guy who was known for sexual harassment groped me and I had a flashback. Fight or flight kicked in and I couldn’t control my movement. I just kicked my foot back right into the crotch section. I got a suspension. The boy got a detention…

  • “Why didn’t you fight?”

    It was my brother. I trusted him at the time, I was 12.

    I didn’t even think about reporting it until he threatened to do it a second time the very next day when i tried to ask why.

    After his threat I fled the room and told my parents. At the time they didn’t know who to believe. My brother claiming “it was probably just a dream.”

    Even now years later, i have this sense of fear around him, and i get anxious around older men.

  • Attention seeker?……… Seriously people need to grow up they’re not the victim, grow up, we are. Proofs? We couldn’t record. Court? We wouldn’t have enough proof or like me I was tricked to give out consent.

  • I know I’m late, but my favorite had been (TW) “oh what’s your problem I’m not just somebody whose trying to r*pe you” as he then assaulted me

  • I’m so very sorry this happened to you. Sadly, your case sounds like so many others and as you stated, most perpetrators do not spend any time behind bars. You are brave and strong for sharing. Thank-you! ❤️

  • “Why didn’t you fight back?”

    After some unsuccessful attempts to block and me momentarily freezing once it started, I denied that this horror was happening by falling in love with my abuser and convincing myself that the person has a right over my body. I didn’t realize the truth and gravity of what happened until I spoke with a therapist 1.5 years after the incident.

  • Thank you so much for making this video so people can be more thoughtful ������

    “Why didn’t you fight”… That one was hard bc I was sleeping and I was 12…

  • The way I see it. Due to the assumption of innocent until proven guilty courts and police must stay neutral. But if you are a outside party and especially if you are close to the person. Just believe them. You aren’t a lawyer or a judge. Your job isn’t to investigate the case leave that to the police. Just be there to support your loved ones. And even if you are a police officer and you technically have to stay neutral don’t act mistrusting and like you don’t believe them. besides the obvious part about being a good person the more you seem open and believing the more the possible victim is going to open up and share facts that can help to catch the guilty.

  • I was sexually assaulted last year by one of my best friends… I was only 8. Now I plan on telling my friend’s mom about it and talk it out. If my parents don’t agree to that then I don’t know what to do. I talked to the principal of our school last month and we talked it out. My assaulter walked in and said she was simply “trying to get my phone” to call home when she obviously WASNT. She called it a joke at first then she said she was trying to get my phone. She’s lying and trying to avoid getting in trouble. I feel she should be punished for it but I don’t know what to do… everyone is saying/implying that I can’t get help because nobody cares about it. I just really need advice right now… if anybody has any advice please don’t be scared to tell me.

  • Wasn’t this very difficult to tell at first and I think these people should not be there saying those things unless these are fake people and if not there could be many out there that don’t want to say it that feel not or offended by them speaking to them about stuff that are like this

  • There was this girl that told her story how a old man harrassed her multiple times and said that she doesn’t feel comfortable around old men anymore because she’s obviously traumatized and then a girls said like ” but old people are so nice how can you say that” YOU CAN JUST SAY THAT that’s so insensitive and stupid to say.

  • This is such a great video to watch whether you are experiencing it, experienced it or know anyone who did. My bestfriend had just told me she is being sexually harassed/assaulted by her friend’s older brother and I want to help her anyway can. Also, if you see this comment and you have experienced it or know someone, can you give me advice on how to help her. And for all of you that experienced it, I want you to know that whatever happened was NEVER you’re fault, you are certainly a brave person and hope you doing fine. ❤❤❤����

  • So sad that people do this I hope these guys and girls are ok they are all great people with nice fashion so I hope they have a great life ������

  • The idiotic questions pple ask is one thing but the attitude they ask them with makes me dumbfounded. When clueless pple ask why we don’t speak abt it, it’s because we really don’t have the patience to answer such questions. What’s the point of telling ignorant pple and asking them to take our pov, when the first thing these ignorant pple do is judge just as we breathe.

  • Thank you for raising awareness. I got told most of this when it happened to me in middle school (still am in middle school) and I was severely bullied.

  • “Did it feel good though?”
    “You must’ve wanted it.”
    “What were you wearing?”
    “Were you drunk?”
    “Why didn’t you fight back?”
    Honestly, the audacity of people sometimes. I haven’t been assaulted and I’m so sorry for any man, woman, and child that has been.

    If someone I knew was getting attacked by these questions, I would’ve lost my temper and just shouted:

    “Well, I don’t know! Why don’t you try to put yourself in the situation where a person is forcing themselves on and into you!”

    I’d probably curse too, just, people don’t understand unless they’ve experienced it as well.

  • I was sexually assaulted. But I wasn’t raped. He didn’t put his…. in me. He molested me. By law here it’s considered rape. But I’ve had people tell me that at least I wasn’t raped….. wtf! I’m scared for life. I have sever PTSD now. He was a man in his 70s and I was 18! I did report it. When the police talked to him he said “She’s 18 she said it was okay.” And he got away with it! Why? Because I was homeless so I must have wanted it. Hell no! Im terrified of him. It’s been 13 years but I still am afraid of him. Especially since his intent was rape. And I don’t know why he stopped. So I’m fu*ked up looking over my shoulder thinking he’s going to come back and finish what he started! So scary

  • I tried talking to my camp leader about it since one of the leaders in training was asking me to suck his…. So I told her that but instead of doing anything she yelled at me for saying penis and punished me for saying that word. I don’t think anything was done about even now.

  • never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never
    Say “did you enjoy it?”

  • My sex life was Robbed before I ever had one by my mom’s pedophile boyfriend congratulations destroyed any needs or desires sexual needs at all ect stuff go’s

    Tell tell 3yrs ago I mange to get my groove back for the needs an want for sex again.! I’m slowly getting back into sex it took a while before hand sex to me was gross and disgusting I could not enjoy sexually related things because his disgusting gross ass took that away from me.. Looking at a penis was a deal breaker I would cover my eyes I didn’t wanna see naked people mating naturally weather it be porn or movie or in picks it was that bad

    I blocked from my life that was supposed to be the best time of my life turn out to be the worst time of my life I was traumatized as a child. Worse time for wanting

    To live like I ain’t shit just let me die already I’ve already had my pure innocence joy stolen from me let me go doing the time before anyone known that I was a RAPED VICTIM OF SHITTY PROBLEMS

    My big sister suggestion me to watch some porn I was not in to she didn’t know the dark secret why I didn’t care for anything sexually related. I didn’t but now that I’ve manga to try an tell to open up to some people sad part is my niece knows I don’t know how but she does I’m surprise she didn’t spell like milk she has a biggg mouth ive manga to get closure to my life step, closer to getting out it’s over along time ago but you never forget cuz it will always be there all you can do is move on
    he never got charged prosecuted or put in jail tf first person I told before anyone was my mom I was 18 the friction started the hate bashing jealousy etc you can name she didn’t even bat an eye when I said I was afraid!!!!!!! I got courage HUGE TO TELL HER IN A WAY THAT I KNOW HOW * she just looked at me stupid with confusion. And none Shalunt attitude like I don’t care if he raped you at 13 I’m going to stay with him regards no ones going to take him away from me I don’t give a damn if you’re my daughter deal with it grow up and move tf on the whole attitude I got no she didn’t tell me that I scene’s in her she didn’t even half to that morning she ask me did he cum? I said no I went on to school that was that. She never get me checked out to see anything like it never happened turned the other cheek she turned against me HOW YOU GO TURN YOUR OWN BACK ON YOUR BLOOD I’M YOUR DAUGHTER YOU BETRAYED ME TO STAY STAND STILL WITH A PEDOPHILE THAT CAME ON TO YOUR LITTLE 13 YR OLD GIRL DAUGHTER YOUR JUST AS DISGUSTING AS HE IS SICK FREAK!!!!!!!! ������������������������ boom you wanna disown me fine you can kiss my ass out of your life if I ever get right by gods grace* you will never see me again

    This was my discomfort pain to sex anything related, etc I promise to God I would start back to going to church change my life I’d stop believing the devil I come off of darkness edge an get right again an control my anger and bitter hatred towards my mom I was very depressed teenager in my life early adult hood. And suicidal I still am 0% courage an balls to go through its all good I have a long way to go..

  • “Why didn’t you fight”

    Because I was naive and I thought they were just playing with me����

    (I did at one point try to kinda fight them off tho)

  • I am so sorry you suffered I was sexually assaulted as a child n abused physically my whole life as a kid. I told the police n a teacher when i was a kid… no one helped me the cops told my dad what i said n he almost killed me as i swallowed my own blood i never told again.

  • It’s hard. There are some close friends who wanted to try to understand me, but they just don’t get it, especially it came to a point that I need to explain in details, it makes me feel that I need to “go through” it again, it’s tiring, it also felt very disrespectful when they started to say things like “maybe it’s not like that”. Worst part is there are some people will compare other’s sexual assault to yours and say yours aren’t that bad. Anything like this, should not happen, it’s wrong.

  • I recently had a vivid dream where I got sexually assaulted and it was traumatizing. I know it sounds stupid because it was just a dream but I remember it so clearly. My heart goes out to all girls who are sexually assaulted and hope they recover. Please speak up about it. <3

  • What the hell ever. I understand that there are women that truly have been violated but having a pig ouch your butt or boob or making rude comments is not a life altering event. Sorry, I only feel bad for women whole were literally raped or forced to do sexual acts. I do NOT feel sorry for women that had a choice and CHOSE to ignore all of the red flags and warning signs. Red Flag #1….. If there’s alcohol involved, it doesn’t make it right, but the risk of it happening increase. Red Flag #2….. If you think the person is a creep, don’t get separated from the herd. and… aside from that, most women are getting all dolled up with the entire idea of being seen, noticed and desired or else you’d all go to events dressed like a guy. Yes… it’s bait…fishing for the most successful guy, in your league, that shows promise of a decent lifestyle. It works in reverse too. I’ve had many women casually walk by in a bar and sneak a feel. I think she’s a cheap little (wh)…ore but I’m certainly not offended or feel the need to “talk about it”. Actually, she could have given me oral sex against my will and I still wouldn’t have been offended. If I HAD been offended, or if all dudes got so easily offended, half of you women would be unemployed, face plastered in the newspapers, registered as sex offenders and your lives would essentially be over. Bit of a double standard here, Ladies. I would say that women should stop with the prostitutes costumes and remedy most of the problem all by themselves. If it looks like a ho, dresses like a ho, talks like a ho, flirts like a ho, smells like a ho, hair like a ho, fingernails like a ho, makeup like a ho and acts like a ho……. logic must prevail.

  • It’s an instinct to play dead when danger arises that explains in some cases why people can’t fight back. The brain sees the rapist as a predator that wants to eat you and your body goes into lockdown, all the while you’re still awake

  • Why didnt I report it, because the first person, everyone loved, was the captain of the new cadet drill team in a school that holds jrotc in a really high light, and the second person was a dude, with medical problems and people sided with him because they thought he was vulnerable.

  • Hotlines won’t just leave it at a conversation. People don’t realize that ‘confidential’ doesn’t mean that it goes no further than the conversation it just means that they won’t publish it in the newspaper. ‘Confidential’ hotlines whether it be ‘Kids Help Line” or suicide hotlines, or drug hotlines, or assault hotlines etc always get the authorities involved. There is nothing confidential about them.

  • Im just in the comments to:
    say its stupid NO
    reply in mean ways NO
    respecting different people like transformers and thinking its cool being like that YES

  • Ladies, I see your point! You should be able to walk downtown at midnight, by yourself, wearing nothing but a thong bikini, without incident.
    Sucks that we live on the planet Earth, not the planet Should, don’t it?

  • I was five when I was raped. I was literally in Kindergarten and the lawyer apposing me was so aggressive that the judge had to step in.

  • The first person and third person… That’s my story.. the person I opened up to about my trauma..put me in the same situation again.

  • It was in middle school and the teacher was there and didn’t do anything and she saw. The first thing I got asked “why didn’t you do anything?” I was in sleep paralysis I couldn’t do shit.

  • Have you considered having a video talking about Military Sexual Assault? I don’t think I know a female veteran who doesn’t have a story. The process is terrifying and I was threatened with discharge if I didn’t make a statement regarding the assault of my roommate who did not want to report. We were later forced through a terrible court process that was entirely victim blaming and quickly disregarded due to “lack of evidence” even with a recorded confession. I guess I just think you’re a really great voice for those who have been hurt and most of us can’t come forward.

  • The “why do you talk about it” question seems valid imo. I mean if I went through something as traumatic as SA then I 100% wouldn’t ever bring it up, but then you see others talking about it. It’s more like a “oh I’m curious” than a derogatory question imo.

  • Women who show less skim are more likely to be targeted by predators. The assumption is that they’re not confident and will be too scared to fight back/report them. Literally no point in asking what they were wearing.

  • it was my uncle who assaulted me in 6th grade by touching my private part when i was sleeping and it was a stranger in a street who assaulted me by touching my private part in a crowd, people still tells me its not something to worry about and was my fault in some way? even my momma is like why didnt you tell me? dude i couldn’t even figure that out that something like that happened to me. how am i supposed to explain that?

  • We have to balance the argument because there are cases where women cry rape and drag the man through hell this should not happen to any person and the truth about be found regardless of who committed the offence be it male or female any one who makes a false accusation should face the same sentence as the person would of gotten if they had committed the offence

  • If you or anyone you know needs help, you may reach out for support:

    Sexual Assault Care Centre
    6779 0282 (Mon-Fri, 10am-10pm)
    sacc.aware.org.sg

    Oogachaga
    6226 2002 (Tue, Wed, Thu: 7pm-10pm; Sat: 2pm-5pm)
    Oogachaga.com

    #AimForZeroSG

  • Honnestly, I did not know that my boyfriend didnt want to do intercourse and stuff, but his body was responding positively, but he said nothing and just… followed the flow and then in the middle of the act he started to cry. He said he didnt want to. I felt a wave of guilt and disgust. I excused myself so much and now we are really communicating verbally if we want or not. Communication is important in a relationship… please please PLEASE ASK THEM IF THEY ARE REALLY INTO IT. DO NOT DO MY MISTAKE. ����⚠️

  • I was a 19 year old worker at a chain restaurant and saw a boss form another restaurant that I thought was friendly and relatively attractive for his age, around 10 years older than me. but when I started working under him, I realized fast that he liked younger ladies. said my butt looked good which made me self conscious of standing at the cashier affecting work, purposely squeezed next to me in a tight space which also made me uncomfortable when he’s around, and the straw that broke the camels back when I reached down to get something he kissed and sniffed my hand. I think that was like the okay this is making me really uncomfortable so I wanted to leave. but that wasn’t the only reason, tbh I shouldnt feel it since I think he did it to other girls as well, but I was flattered and sometimes even liked that he would compliment me or squeeze next to me. I think he got rather impatient overtime cos I wasn’t as efficient worker as others, so part of the reason I left was because he became less patient and more hostile. I also dropped a second hot bowl of soup on a customer. so I think I could have been easily sued even jailed for that due to me being weak / clumsy. so I understand where he was coming from, and the restaurant had to cover their the least to say inconvenience but I’m sure I had a hefty pay deduction.
    so I would think my accidental crimes were worse than his professional misconducts.

    if a girl / boy directly rejects advances tho whether through message or whatevr, a co worker especially a boss should be professional and stop so there’s no uncomfortableness or any further legal actions to take place. but of course a requirement to maybe his superior or hr so there’s threat of if he doesn’t stop what is making uncomfortable he would lose his job.

  • Nobody believed you when the Predator is had a Mask (be a kind Face but the trully is he is so rude)
    Crying and say the god will make karma is just make you little a bit more calm

  • I feel so angry for them. Being raped isn’t something you should be embarrassed, repressed, or normalized. It isn’t a se.xy thing to imagine. It’sgod. I can’t even believe that people are so disgusting.

    Edit: I just remembered that many people don’t think that a woman forcing a man, boy, or of any age to have sex with them isn’t rape. That’s just…

  • I think parents and teachers don’t just teach kids to protect themselves so they won’t be victim but rather teach them not to be the aggressors. It is so hard to live in a place where you don’t feel safe because you know most of the people blame the victim than the person who did the crime

  • Do not protect your abuser.
    I’ll say it again:
    DO NOT PROTECT YOUR ABUSER

    Because they won’t protect you, they’re just protecting themselves if they tell you not to tell anyone.

  • Okay, so I am not sure if this is called sexual assault or anything that is related to the word ‘rape’.
    When I was in kindergarten, I think I was 5yrs old that time(not too sure since it is a long time ago), my mom’s a teacher and she had to go to school that day. I was left at home, she called my cousin(male, 17yrs old) to babysit me. He was on his laptop, I got bored so I asked him, “Can you please play with me? I am bored.” And he answered something like, “Do you really want to play with me?” I guess he is hinting on something but me being naive did not understand it, instead I just nod my head. Then, he told me to lie down on the couch and asked me to close my eyes. I did as he told me. He pulled down my pants and start licking my pubic part. I immediately opened my eyes but he told me to closed them back. I asked him to stop. I didn’t remember what happen after that(like I said, it is 7 to 8 years ago and I was too small).I only remember that we did not have sex, he did not put his member inside me, which is a great relief to me now. ‘It’ happen in the morning, it take me a few hours to process the situation/incident, I only just came to realise that what he did is wrong(about the licking-pubic-part-thingy). When my mom came home, I just straight forward told her, “Mom, (cousin name) licked my pubic part this morning. My mom just stared at me with anger and confused emotions in her eyes, she told me to repeat it again. After that she has a serious talk with my cousin, I don’t know if she told his parents about ‘it’. All I know is I just got licked, on the pubic part that time. And now we never talked about it, I just pretend it never happened in front of the adults, and my mom seems unbothered now, even joking around with the cousin on our family gathering every Sunday. I don’t know if she is putting on an act. That cousin, he sometimes will spare a glance at me when I am on my phone or at the dining table. I think he is harmless for now. Last time he tried to get a glance on my phone when I am on it, I just gave hime a killing glare (I made the glare seem harmles to the adults but deadly to him) and warn him to give me privacy, he backed off immediately. And that is it, end of story.

    Guys, I don’t know if I make it sounded like I am just making a story but this really happened. I have just shared my biggest secret that not even my friends, classmates or teachers know about. Everyone have flaws just like me, people said they are envious of me being excellent in academics but they never know the pain, uncomfortableness, insecurity and every negative emotions that are hidden behind the smiling face. Thinking back now, looking through my memories, my experience, I really want to asked my mother “What really happened?” Did she talked it out with his parents? Did he lied to her, denying he didn’t do it and she actually believed it? I never know, I don’t have the courage to ask her, bacuse I am scared, scared that she might blame me for giving him the permission to touch my body and scared that she might even back him up. I shared this story with you guys to ask for opinions, as I, myself don’t know what I should do with it. Should I just move on and pretend it never happened or talk about it again and talk with my mom?

    P.S:Guys, I am sorry that this comment is so long and I might have a lot of grammar mistakes in it. I just want to hear others opinions on this ‘thing’ I experienced. Please don’t hate on me.

  • Honestly I used to be one of those ignorant people who would wonder “why didn’t they say anything”?�� cause I had never met anyone who actually went through that ����‍♀️
    But then when my sister came forward about being sexually harassed when she was 13 years ago by an older guy I didn’t know what to do ��
    I remember just crying and asking God why did that had to happened to her, cause she was always the quiet one and more of the smart and basically the perfect child��
    Well I guess that’s what I thought but in reality I didn’t know what she was going through.
    She has to be one of the most kindest person I know �� this also helps me understand why my parents are so careful and worried about me��
    it makes me so sad and angry that so many people get sexually assaulted��
    I hope anyone who’s been through something like that stay strong

  • I am especially uncomfortable with talking about this because it happened to a friend in church. she doesn’t know i know yet and im working on getting the proof. This guy could possibly be put in jail as a sex offender. I know I shouldn’t do this without an adult, but it feels better that way.

  • Thank you for this. I found this video comforting in a sense that it opens the eyes of the public about sexual violence. There are words that we can’t say. There are situations we can’t change. But what can we do is to make people understand what and how sexual assault/violence really is. I hope the people who watched, watches and will be watching this will get the message of this conversations. And to each person who brave the storm to speak about what they’ve been through, I hope I could muster the same courage as you do. And thank you so much. Keep safe everyone

  • Its worst when i told my parents about being sexually assaulted by my uncle and they said that he was only showing his love for me…i mean how a 17 years old would not know the differences between love and harassment

  • Nobody should live with sexual assault. No matter what orientation you have. No matter what your age was. No matter where you come from. It should not happen and the attention should be on the agressor and how to prevent sexual abuse all around…

  • “Why didn’t you fight?”

    Idk, the whole time he was pointing a gun at my head, I don’t think trying to fight would have been a good idea lmao.

  • Guys I need help my sister got sexual assaulted yesterday but the thing is our parents dont believe her and she is too scared to go to the police what should I do! Please comment telling me what to do

  • Im am truly glad they included the man because of course many people don’t acknowledge men as being victims but also because he discussed a topic that I feel has recently been added to the conversation.

  • Not having the same sexdrive in a couple can lead to sexual abuse. It does not mean that encouraging strongly your partner into wanting to do it is a consent. Dont do my mistake. The guilt is heavy. Communication is awfully important

  • When i was around 7 someone touched me i didnt cry or anything because i was shocked my mind went blank but i was able to stop him before the sitition got worse after that i never spoke of it i didnt tell anyone because i was scared and i didnt know what to do and i tried to forget about it until recently it started to effect me i guess thats why im always so concious of my surroundings

  • I personally felt really emotional when Devika talked about how by reason of her very early sexual violence experience, she felt like she was introduced to the pleasures of the physical body way before she was supposed to naturally. I have never previously heard someone saying that out loud. This means a lot to me since I am also a sexual violence survivor and I was 6-7yrs at the time, and I had grown more curious about physical pleasure at a rather young age due to this, and till date I always felt like it was something wrong with me, and that I was a young dirty child.This combined with my Indian family was been super hard, because we’re told that doing anything related to sex is dirty and makes you a bad girl. I had never correlated it to my sexual violence episode. Thank you for finally making me feel better about my younger self Devika. I’m 19 now and have finally achieved some closure.

  • It’s so hard for me I struggle with this I have four brothers and I get sexually assaulted every single day I can’t come clean it’s really hard to type this right now but for anyone else going through this like me stay strong.

  • It is very painful for me to watch this video. After someone abuses your body you only wish gruesome death to all rapist & child molesters. I can’t even watch commercials about sexual abuse.

  • Dr. Doe, Have you seen the documentary movie “The Hunting Ground” about sexual assault on college campuses? I found it very disturbing that women (and men) are not always safe from attacks and the colleges and universities many times side with the perpetrators (especially if they are star athletes). I would like to know your thoughts on this film.

  • i have been sexual assaulted for 2 years by my uncle…. i hated him
    he made me think that it was my fault….
    he had caused me Androphobia a fear of mens i cant take it.. i always had a mental breakdown
    edit:pls dont judge me

  • The worst thing for me is that people dont believe the victims, people dont care about them and the victims themselves didnt report to the police because they thought it is gonna get worse and they are not going to believe them or that they might even blame them for asking gor it, etc!!!Like, not even the police is trustworthy anymore.

  • They are all so eloquent about their journeys in processing and dealing with sexual violence, I hate that they went through what they did, but seeing how they are able to speak, educate and increase awareness about it now, speaks volumes about their healing and compassion for others to want to publicly share in their vulnerability. I have nothing but respect for them, and I hope things only become better for all who suffer in the same way. Much love guys.

  • It sucks because so many chicks lie about being raped then you get the girls who don’t lie and people just don’t believe them.. Its terrible

  • I’m watching this cause my moms new husband this morning woke me up and my mom was at work he asked me to go on the bed beside him and he started rubbing my tummy and my butt than he lifted my shirt and started playing with my lil breast ;-; LIKE DUDE IM ONLY 10 WHYYYYYY

  • I don’t understand, if there’s DNA evidence and a video I would assumed it would have been easier to sentence this criminal. Also, I think a 6 years sentence is not that bad compare to what he did. He should have been sentence 20 years at a minimum.

  • I can totally relate to devika when she said she had to pretend to be jovial, lively but go to washroom and cry and have a total mental breakdown and then come up after next 5 minutes like everything is normal..I was that person back in my 11 grade when my own taekwondo coach used to abuse me on a weekly basis after coaching session..all this was 6 years ago and now I relate to the guy when he said that there were days when he indulged in very unhealthy sexual practices which were going to damage his health..I have been through that phase till the last of this lockdown happened.I am still healing and confronting to my own self with what all have been done to me and accepting it bit by bit is my progress to overcome it…these are just two things I have mentioned but I relate myself to almost all of them for a lot of scenarios. It’s indeed tough. May god continue giving us strength.

  • Thank you very much for sharing your experience with us. I have learned so many things… e.g. that straight men who experienced sexual assault are also victims of the culture of ‘sexualising men’… and that arousal does not equate consent…

  • I..I think I was sexually abused without knowing it. I haven’t told anyone about this but now I’m telling the whole internet so:’)

    anyways..this thought just makes my stomach turn, but my older cousin made me and my other cousin (we were the same age) get on the bed together and made me suck his…yeah…
    I thought it was normal to do, mind you I was like, 6. And the words that haunt me the most to this day was that my cousin said
    “(Older sister) i like it better when you do it!!”

    God, I’m so traumatized and disgusted of what my cousin made us do. She was 12, by the way. And this makes me think she could’ve been sexually abused..I don’t know…please give me methods on how to cope because I CANT tell anybody I know, or my cousins will get into trouble and I don’t wanna get them in trouble..

  • Oof.
    This happend to my friend.
    We are only 12 and she didn’t want people taking pictures of her body for evidence.
    She lost the case and the man is still alowed to be around his grandkids.

  • I was telling my mom about a crime case I had heard about and it was a woman who killed her husband and this is how it went:

    Me: She killed her husband!
    Mom: he prob did something to deserve it
    Me: No, woman can be abusive too
    Mom: eeeh…
    This got me SO annoyed! I don’t like that people think only men can be abusive to women! IT. CAN. GO. BOTH. WAYS! ��

  • Wow. “Were you asking for it?” What a fucking great question. No one ASKS for sexual violence. Even if you want or agree to sex, very few women or men say “yes please brutalize me and leave me with PSTD and physical trauma I like that kind of stuff.” I agreed to have sex but then he refused to put a condom on and held me down and I started crying begging him to stop because I had made it clear I only will do this with protection. So yeah. And it’s definitely a two way street. A guy can be aroused but if he says he’s not sure women should stop.

  • I don’t think the guy got raped… that’s not what rape is… LOL I don’t think you can discover an unfilled condom after the fact and then claim rape…

  • It hurts me so much to see hugs and caresses. I miss them so much. The other day I saw a woman put her head on a friend’s shoulder. This gesture radiated such great tenderness and trust that a stabbing pain shot into my heart. I had to leave the room to press my hands on my aching chest and cry. Such things have been happening for a long time. A few weeks later I had a heart attack and pulmonary embolism. Broken heart symptom. Probably this was the late consequence of incubator when I was a baby and that I sometimes had to go to a home as a child. I have now started with Tantra breathing. When I tell women that I want a year without sex first, but with lots of tenderness, they don’t understand. When will I find a tender girl friend? The longing for hugging is so great, but also the fear of pain to lose the beloved person again.

  • Story time, I was apart of a haunted house at my church and the walls that we had up were just black trash bags. Anyway, the first people that went through didn’t understand where to go and ripped the was down a bit so now people could see my little hiding spot. Anyway, there was this one person that kept on going through over and over again, and the guy kept on looking over the wall to see where I was, and once he got to the other side of my small cubby hole, he would guide his hand across is and touch my bottom and pretend he didnt do that. I couldn’t do anything because I was still acting my role and wasn’t able to tell anyone until the end. When the end came I told someone and they said, ‘oh it was a small space they probably wanted more room”. Sadly that stuck with me and I have it burned in my memory that it was an accident. I am 13, this was 8ish months ago.

  • as a survivor i’d like to share my story. It’s personally my way of coping. To this day i am still scared of him immensely, he walks freely with no burdens or consequences. He works at my local grocery store and my sister is still best friends with his younger sister, so I have to see him quite often. Whenever i see him i mostly just got uncomfortable and feel his hands on me. It happened when i was 7, i still remember the rooms and the outfit i was wearing and what we did during the day. He was I believe 15 or 16 at the time. He heard me telling my sister and her friends that i had an interest in Minecraft, suddenly he tells me he plays Minecraft and i followed him into their family gaming room, he began showing me his minecraft skin and world. At some point in the conversation, he began touching me. Poking me in my private part. At the time i felt quite uncomfortable, my mom is a rape survivor so she taught me at a young age of the dangers with boys and such. After that, he led me to his room and basically gave me a room tour. My memory is quite foggy around that time but soon or later we were outside playing tag with him, his younger brother and sister and my sister and I. At some point he was it and he immediately chased after me. Instead of a simple tap, marking me as “it”, he tackled me to the ground and just to put it out there he was like 6’0 and over 200 pounds vs me 4’9 100 pounds. He began putting his hands down my pants and attempting to finger me and was fondling my nonexistent breasts. I began screaming and trying to get him off and his younger brother yelled at him to get off. After wrestling for god knows how long, i felt like crying. i wanted to go home so badly. i was too scared to ask his mom to call my mom. so i waited for an hour or two but to me it felt like days went past being there. Once my mom picked us up i told my mother and my sister supported me and what i was saying. my mom SLAMMED on the breaks and screamed “WHAT” she called his mom and told her everything. to this day i don’t know how he was punished. But at that time it didn’t register to me what happened. But after that i began having a strong hate for men and boys, my relationship with my father became very toxic because i had a unknown reason of hatred for him. It’s been over 7 years and i still have immense trust issues and it’s hard for me to have guy friends because i’m afraid of being used. But i thank god everyday that what happened to me didn’t escalate to rape. if you’re a survivor like me, just realize his touch will be gone by 7 years due to skin shedding and that he doesn’t own you. to this day i wish i could’ve taken legal action because i’m permanently traumatized.

  • The first girl is kinda lucky actually as a “survivor.” And I have the same experience with the girl colorful hair, and had the same feeling as hers.

  • All these are rubbish. If you had a relationship with someone, who forced you into the relationship??? Who ask you to take off your clothes?

    If you are a child or someone who has zero ability to defend yourself then u shouod be protected. Otherwise, you are at fault and asking for it. So please stop your “im the victim here”. what a load of bs.

  • From my abuse I use to have Mental Breakdowns in the middle of the day around men & at Night when is go to bed. I would go Cry secretly until I could calm down & pretend I was okay. I am a Newlywed now & the first few months of my marriage Sex was Scary & Strange. I trusted my husband but having someone near my private places gave me Flashbacks. My husband helped me to feel Comfortable & now Sex is Enjoyable. Along with therapy, Love that is patient & Kind heals wounds.

  • Most people dont take sexual violence against men seriously, they just say “well men will be men and just deal with it”
    Which i find so unfair. This World is so cruel

  • i actually couldn’t watch on because of my own trauma… but i am so glad this is here and so glad so many are doing the heartbreaking work of bringing this reality home.

  • I was molested in 2017 by my own father. My court date is in 2021. I’ll still be 14 years old, going against him is terrifying but probably the most relieving feeling that I get my own say in my own justice. I’m ready to face him with confidence and courage

  • OH MY GOD PEOPLE HAVE ACTUALLY SAID THAT? THIS STUFF WOULD LITERALLY MAKE ME VOMIT IN MY THROAT. SOO GOOD PEOPLE HAVE THESE VIDEOS UP.

  • My court is pretty much going the same way but now it’s getting postponed because of covid this whole thing has been the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with when is the world gonna change

  • I’m crying right now. I wish I had of seen this last year while I was going through the trial to convict a child molester. I would love to talk more with you about our 4 year court battle against a psychopathic predator who molested by twin sisters from 4-7. They are 12yo now and I am their 35 yo sister. I took the charge on the case and made them testify. We received 150 years to life in prison. This was just outside of LA. I am at a crossroads of what to do with my story, because I dont want this to happen to other children, and its even more complicated than I can write here. If you’d be willing to speak with me, I would greatly appreciate it.

  • I appreciate them talking about the choice to report it. I remember when I opened up after being assaulted and that was one of the first questions people asked and I didn’t know at the time how to explain how much I dreaded the thought of sitting in a room with officers and having to tell them in detail what happened to me and having someone else determine if my case was a case at all.

  • Hi, I live in the UK and I’m going through a similar experience. I am really angry with the way the system has treated me, the perpetrator has admitted what he has done and there is sufficient evidence by texts yet he is still allowed to go where he wants,and that includes going to my local town centre. He is only looking at at the most 5 years which is a total scandal. I really want to show my anger to the police but I dunno, should I?

  • 4:52 great thing you showed his face, a lot don’t, and idk why
    But maybe do yourself a better favor, red circle him… Omg just look at this disgusting guy!!

  • i was/am an ally to girl who had terrible, unspeakable things happen to her. it took weeks, even months for her to get back on track. the police was incredible disrespectfull to her, her parents still dont know what happend…. but eventually she could move on. i wish nothing but the best to her and, god forbid something like that ever happens again, i would be there for her again, any time, any where.

    i hope everybody in need will find people to help and support them <3

  • I dropped my case when I got to the grand jury. I was treated like I was on trial and I needed to prove it happened. Even though I had the evidence, I went into this thinking that having the truth on my side was enough. I was so wrong. I waited a year to go to court, and that experience was as traumatic as the actual crime. My DA treated me like I was nothing and I left feeling more angry with “the people on my side” than the perpetrator.

  • One day in middle school, someone ran into me, but grabbed my waist and pulled me into him before walking away. Older guys constantly assume I’m a college student (age 13, freshman) or a married woman (now, age 16, almost a senior). Harassment, not assault but… It’s more annoying than anything.

    Why is sex or hitting on someone such a huge deal? Fuck.

  • She rightfully reported it to the police right away. Waiting complicates these things(evidence, witnesses, memories, intentions, states of mind) tremendously. The longer you wait, the more of an enabler you become.

  • Took me 5 years to sort mine but I only went as far as making a statement and felt like I got chased off by a male cop. I felt like I was invonvenient and was a burden, taking up their precious time so I left.  the guy actually showed up at the station to have them point the finger back at me, you would not believe it if I told you but the timing was like a force from above. He was standing right infront of me at the traffic lights and when he turned his face I took off running. The friend who was with me didnt know who he was and blabbed what I was about to do. I rang my mother and told her I couldnt do it but she convinced me to stand up to him and tell them what happened. Sometimes I wish I just went home.  I dont ask for help from anyone now….ever. If they didnt help me with that back then Il get what I need myself from now on. I never ask anyone for anything because if this. I cant bare the idea of feeling that pain again, it crippled me.

  • When a person stabs you in the heart, you bleed and die, cause that’s just how the body works, you never ask to die and bleed, but you do.
    It’s the same case with orgasm, you never ask for the sex yet eventually you feel the orgasm it because that’s just how the body works.
    It’s so stupid how people still thinks if a person is aroused or had an orgasm= it means he/she wanted it.

  • I went to court. He confessed to everything. After there was evidence of him saying sorry over a text. They still let him off as he had “potential” and they ” didn’t want to damage a young man”

  • I think the term “sexual violence” is a misnomer. For example, the guy who removed the condom, there was no violence involved. I think the correct term should be “sexual violation”, as the girl mentioned at 7:05

  • She’s lucky as it was some sympathetic law officials who cared about these issues. However, many are not so lucky and that’s why reforms are needed in the criminal justice system in order for these cases to be solved and for the survivors to get the justice they need for them to move on in life knowing that their monsters got the punishment they deserved for their disgusting crimes.

  • You are a survivor because you never gave up hope and fought for your rights and to protect other women from being hurt by that monster. Thank you for being a big inspiration to the many other victims/survivors.

  • +sexplanations Is assault the right word? I never really thought about it before seeing the title of this video but the title of this video some how reminded me that the legal definition of assault is the threat of bodily harm, while battery is the actual harm. So, shouldn’t sexual assault really be called sexual battery?

  • Why would they need her phone records? If the defense was that they knew each other prior or after, than his own phone records should have been enough for his defense. Why did they track her down at work just to serve her with that order? Why didn’t they serve those papers to her lawyer? Talk about revictimizing the victim under protection of our biased law sustem.

  • A little while ago, I was assaulted. I didnt really want to accept that I was but this videoI knew I had to call the hotline. I cried, a lot, but they were really helpful. And yeah, I’m pissed, and frustrated, and I can’t really seem to sleep, but I’m going to go see my therapist and tell her about it and hopefully see what I want to do next.

    So thank you, Dr. Doe, because I honestly dont think I would have accepted that it happened at all without seeing this. Thank you.

  • This has so many effects. one that I haven’t seen is this. I have a friend that has said she isn’t having kids mostly because she can’t bring herself to take the risk of bringing a girl into the world that this might happen to. (yes she was sexually assaulted at some point but I know none of the details.)

  • Yeah and when the cops say your coming out just to alienate a parent is horrible. Having their family lie and say “you were dating”
    Having people telling me “well why did you stay for so long” make you feel horrible.
    In the end I have no legal leg to stand on, now I have to share my children with my rapist. He used to talk about how having a daughter he would teach her and her friends things. I’m terrified of him being alone with my kids.

  • To be honest, I fell safer seeing these people here, that they’re alright. Seeing that it doesn’t have to destroy your life and that you can survive through it. It really encourages me.

  • Was the woman in the first story still wearing her pants? It just seems strange. It makes me wonder if she knows what her ‘clit’ really is. Judging from some of your videos on bad sex-ed and some of the responses in the comments to those videos it really makes me wonder if the woman is actually aware of what a clit is.

  • I know a person who was assaulted and says he wasn’t. He felt ashamed and disgusted after it happened. I listened to what happened and I told him “you were assaulted. It doesn’t matter that she’s your friend” but he said that I shouldn’t call it that way. I understand that he didn’t want to feel like a victim. He felt that he was expected to like it because he’s a guy. “It’s not a big deal”, I heard after two days of listening how dirty and disgusting he feels. They’re still friends.

  • Sexual assault is real. I have a sex offenders iPhone app that show the pictures and address of sex offenders in every state and neighborhoods. About 8 years ago i was surprised to see my former Manager where I use to work at on that list. One thing I noticed is they don’t live near schools.

  • Even though I’m a man and I’ve never met anyone whose been sexually assaulted or they’ve just never told me this video made me cry because I hate it when people do stuff like this and it makes me really depressed

  • I know that most of the time the answer to “was it assault” is yes but I have a situation that raises questions. On my first date with my boyfriend who I’ve been with for months now and always feel safe around, we kissed when he dropped me off at my house and he started putting his hand in my panties to finger me without asking, and when I pulled away and said no he was super apologetic he never did it, as soon as he realized there was no consent he was upset. Whenever I think back to it I do feel uncomfortable but it’s more about whether it was okay for me to keep seeing him than feeling violated. I’ve never felt anything but respected accept for in that one moment

  • I was assaulted twice on two separate occasions. The first person now goes to my school. I’m reliving everything every day after I thought I recovered. I’m trying to change my schedule so I don’t have to see him as much but it’s a very slow process even though it shouldn’t be. Knowing that it was in fact assaulted and that I have a right to be upset about it gave me so much comfort. I hope any other survivors out there find comfort as well. I love all of you �� you are not your past.

  • I woke up to being groped by an ex I hadn’t been in a relationship with in 9 years. he said I initiated while I was asleep. it happened on June 13th and I’m still waiting to be murdered or framed OR TO HAVE ACTUALLY DONE SO.. But I was asleep. no law official is going to be able to tell what happened better than me. I feel like a part of me shattered that day, I wish I was back to normal. I also feel bullshit misplaced guilt for calling the cops the next day. I wish I knew what to do. I should have just held onto my pain. I feel bad that he’s going to jail.

  • Rape has existed since before we were dressed in fifteen layers of skirts and even then it existed. It’s not about what you wear. You can get raped in a g-string bikini or in multiple layers of long-sleeve t-shirts and jackets. It’s not about what you wear.

  • I love the grace with which she presents each topic. I’ve learned so many things from this channel, she definitely keeps me curious.

  • I think at least the guy stopped, i have a friend who said stop, and the guy didnt stop… As far as i know, he got raped in jail when other inmates knew why he was there, but he only got 3 months in there…

  • My boyfriend kissed me without my consent and it was my first kiss, I didn’t want it to happen and tried to get away but he didn’t listen and did it anyway. This happened yesterday and I broke up with him today without telling him why. Was I assaulted?��

  • Up until recently, I always counted myself among the few likely women to not have experienced physical sexual assault (verbally and gawking, yes, but I have never been touched in a way I did not sanction.) That was until I was at a block party after getting married, when a man took advantage of a moment where I was separated from my husband by penning me to a wall and grabbing my ass. He made total eye contact with this smug look, letting me see clearly the black teardrop tattoo under his eye. I felt like if I would have fought him, he would have hurt me. I managed to slip away when he was distracted, and didn’t leave my husband’s side the rest of the night, or really anything we were at one of those block parties. Afterward, because I was able to get away before it got any further, many of my friends who had gone through more intense situations, such as rape, belittle it, saying that all woman go through that level of assault.
    It also made me look back to another set of instances when I was in middle school. I was on the wrestling team for a year, during which one of my teammates would use the opportunity to grope me. Because we were learning, it was a physical sport, and it was supposed to be professional, I had always contributed it to him messing up. But my other teammates didn’t do it, and he wouldn’t just hold my breast, but squeeze it. He was a kid too, but it was clearing sexual assault that my couches either didn’t notice of didn’t work hard enough to stop.
    Yet, I’m still “the one who hasn’t been sexually assaulted” among my female friends. Even if my fear for my life was real that night, even though I was seriously contemplating how far he could get before someone noticed. What would have happened if my Navy husband would have seen it at the time and physically assaulted him to protect me, risking his Navy career and possibly his future because I was too scare to push back, not that pushing back would have lead to anything but exactly that, making my husband come to my rescue, risking everything.

  • ‘Are you sure it was sexual assault?’

    Yes mum, I did the research, I learnt about it off my own back, and when I realised that it wasn’t my fault then I was told to second guess myself again.

  • I was sexually assaulted, took me a while to realise it. Fortunately I’m no longer in a relationship with that person and they’re no longer a part of my life. I chose not to press charges for many reasons primarily because I’m a forgiving person even when I don’t feel a sense of forgiveness. That doesn’t mean everyone can and should do that, I certainly have made as much active effort as humanly possible to aid those who’ve told me they’ve been assaulted.

  • i’m still questioning if i was raped by a police officer. it happened 5 years ago and i was on drugs. there is no evidence, all i know is that i was covered in bruises the next day…what should i do?

  • I think I was assaulted but because I was drunk and can’t remember I can’t be too sure. Friends have told me about me leaving his room and the fact that he’s always after drunk and vulnerable girls is what makes me question it and that fact that I cannot for the life of me remember meeting him in the first place.

  • very smart topic. grateful. especially beautiful closer.
    thank you for all your continued work and adding your personal you to the vids.

  • I keep listening to 3:50-55 over and over again. These words are helpful and healing. I didn’t know I needed to hear someone say them. Thank you for them. Thank you for all of your words. Xo

  • “Why didn’t you fight?”

    “He was my boyfriend at the time, and went to the gym like 4 times a week. Also I was really depressed before and didn’t have energy to just fight back. I could’ve said no, yes, but I had done that once before and it got so awkward that I thought he was gonna leave me and I couldn’t stand that thought. So a year and a half later when I realized he had actually been raping me for the last year or so I finally left him.”

  • THANK YOU. As a Victim Advocate, I so appreciate you creating this video. Would you be opposed to our agency using your videos on our website and facebook page? You do such an incredible job breaking down topics in an enormously mindful, trauma-informed, and productive way.

  • “Let’s acknowledge this situation is really annoying”. Although that line may sound to some like it is trivializing something extremely serious, it is very true. I really do appreciate those who are supportive, take the situation seriously and acknowledge I am the victim but sometimes it’s good to step back from these overwhelming feelings and acknowledge how fucking annoying this whole ordeal is.

    It’s hard to explain but sometimes I think to myself whether the concern and pity people have can inadvertently inflate the feeling of shame, guilt and fear. I wonder whether in Ancient Greece, where paedophilia was a socially accepted norm, if the abused children ever felt the same emotional pain we do or if it was as normal for them as consensual sex? I understand this kind of question could have some very bad implications but it would never change how much I love the two people who have helped me or how I feel towards that motherfucker who ruined my life and then killed himself leaving everyone feeling sorry for him.

  • Thank you so much for this video and for sharing part of your story. It happens all too often and it’s important to talk about it.

  • Thank You…… I have been binge watching your show�� i was assaulted years ago…… it was MY fault…….. so I buried it……… during my combat missions in Iraq……… being again at times being in that “hopeless” situation all those buried emotions and feelings….. came back a million fold….. they almost got me killed. I still have not dealt with that issue…… not met any healthcare provider that I can trust or really is down to earth; someone that will come out of their Ivory tower of education and look at me I have a doctorate…….. you should kneel before me……. and if it pleases me I may help you. When able to donate and help this channel that is my intent to do so. Thanks again for the great channel.
    For ALL of you that have been assaulted………. FIND someone you trust and confide in without judgement talk to them about what happened. NOT being able to do so Can KILL you; possibly emotionally mentally spiritually physically and literally! Isolating yourself from any sort of help can lead to depression and AKA suicide. NO ONE deserves being assaulted!

  • Five years on and I still want to cry every time I think about it. Therapy is getting me nowhere and I feel like I’m drowning in flashbacks self hate and self blame as well as anger and guilt. Fuck I need this to stop I just wanna be a normal teen. Thanks for the video it’s given me a few good ideas of how to help me move past this.

  • 2 months ago I went for the first time in my life, to psychotherapy because of sexual abuse in my past. The therapist asked many questions about my health. The second time he asked me about nu hormones, so I told him one because I’m 63 years old. His answhere: so we can fool around without any problems? I just run out of his office and called my regular doctor.

  • How long is too long to feel afraid and upset and angry amongst other emotions about something like this? Its been 6 years and ive only ever let my emotions out once about it and everytime i think about it i feel dumb for feeling upset about it so many years later.

  • It has been over a year, and the one who assaulted me didn’t realize what he had done was wrong. Is it still assault? Is it too late to tell someone? I’m going to be working at a camp for 8 weeks this summer, and he’s going to work there as well. How do I face him? Help!

  • I have fairly recently looking back on an old memory started to wonder if i was sexually assaulted. the memory is of one evening when i was 6/7 alone with our exchange student 18, in it she exposed her genitals to me and kissed me on the mouth without any desire or prompting from me(I actually remember them as being distracting interruptions in whatever i was trying to tell her about). for most of the intervening years I either didn’t think about the incident or assumed it was a dream, but looking back on it now through adult eyes it looks different. this is complicated by the fact that most of my and all of my families memories of this person are positive, and that i know memory is an incredibly fallible thing so this whole thing might not have happened. probably best to assume it didn’t happen and ignore it.

  • It’s such a shame that not everyone feels they have the choice or a right to decide how to proceed after an assault. After being assaulted I walked into the closest local Washington State, USA, County Sheriff’s office (mind you I live in the 3rd largest city in Washington State) and was told bluntly that ANY conversation including my my simply asking the Deputy IF what happened to me was an assault the man who did the assaulting would absolutely positively be arrested, charged & prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law! This would all happen regardless of what I wanted done, my choice was irrelevant and not important to the process. These were the deputies exact words!
    The Deputy said that even asking him ANY questions “hypothetically” would result in his arrest etc…
    Lets be real, I didn’t then or now live in a vacuum. His arrest would’ve had huge and horrible career, financial, social, financial and FAMILY ramifications for me and almost nothing other than an inconvenient day/week for the man who did the assault.
    All I wanted was to know from the Deputy IF I’D done something wrong or was I somehow responsible for the attack. I walked in the Sherrif’s office and the Deputy stopped me literally 3 words into my ‘introduction’. I said “Hi, ummm… my na” when the Deputy said and I quote… “Let me stop u right there, ANYTHING you say or ask me WILL result in his arrest. IF you DON’T want him arrested or if you’re not sure… STOP NOW!!!”
    I said “I just have a question may I ask hypothetically?” He repeated flatly, as if bored & reading from a script “Anything you say or ask me will result in his arrest. If you don’t want him arrested or if you’re not sure, stop now.”
    I turned around and went home… alone. This was 4 years ago and the first time I’ve told anyone this story.
    I trust Dr. Doe and despirately want her version to be true. Maybe things have changed and are getting better, i dont see how my experience with that deputy could’ve been much worse!

  • My girlfriend told me about being sexually assaulted when she was a child and then assaulted/raped by someone else not even a year ago. How do I help her? Is there resources or a video for what I can do for her in addition to reassuring her and suggesting she talk to a counselor?

  • after my assault i wanted to forget it and not talk about it at all and just went on with my life. It took me years to start talking about it.

  • Why didnt you fight?
    Sometimes it’s a case of the pressure u into saying yes even when no was the answer, it doesn’t matter how many times you said no, they wouldn’t stop asking until you sad yes, and yes it still counts

  • Dr. Doe, what are the long term affects of masturbating with pillows? I’ve heard it can cause orgasm trouble with a partner in later years. Is it safe? Should I stop?

  • I actually started crying at the end of this video. It’s not as shocking to me because I knew it was for a very long time, but I never told anyone until very recently.

  • Excellent. Back in the 1980’s I was on the Board of Directors for a local group called the Women’s Crisis Center. Founded by 5 outgoing women who realized there was no guidance for sexual assault victims. I was brought on board so there would be at least one male board member! They provided a 24 hour crisis line and accompaniment, be it to the hospital, police department, home or to a friend’s house This would have made a great video to provide to the victims.

  • I tend to go out of my way to criticize channels like Sexplanations (and others affiliated with the network) that have a predisposition to heavy third-wave-tumblr-feminism. But so far I’ve failed to find anything. The reply to Preslav Petrov clarified potential false-positives on my shitlord radar. I hope this video helps some people. Good on Doe for maintaining helpful information and gender neutrality.

    Though, the “not a victim of a crime” thing in the description is worded in a semi-worrying way but I understand the intended message.

  • Thanks for this Dr Doe. As someone who has been physically assaulted (beaten, mentally abused too) by men many times, it helps to know where to go, and that there are people, who won’t judge or blame you for what happened. It almost ruined my life, and turned me into a shell, of what I used to be, and I hate that.

  • Being an ally for my friend when she was raped was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. She didn’t want to press charges, and as her friend, I had to accept her choice because I was there to support her, not to go after her rapist. That is one of the most important things I’d like allies to know. This is not about you, and you cannot force someone to do something just because it’s what you would do. Be there for them and respect their choices because they have already had their choices ignored and violated, don’t add to that.

  • I wish I had seen this video earlier. I could’ve used it. But it’s been a year since, I’m lucky I had support from people. But I probably should’ve reported it.

    But honestly. It’s difficult when you’re a strong man and she’s a weak girl, you feel really dumb, like even if you tell someone. They’ll discount it. That it wasn’t rape.:/

  • While I appreciate all the advice given here and do feel it is important information to provide, as the wife of a male massage therapist I really hope this video does not serve to reinforce the negative stereotypes my husband has to deal with daily. I do not want to discredit this woman’s experience with a bad massage therapist, but there is already a large stigma around male therapists, and by using this as the main example Sexplanations just reinforced the idea that all male therapist are perverts and will assault you. My husband won’t even do anything close to inappropriate when he massages me on his table in the confines of our own home, because he takes his job seriously and once i am on his table i am “client” not “wife”.

    So to everyone out there, please don’t take this one man’s bad example as a representation of all male therapists.

  • I feel like this this videos title was misleading. It was a good video with lots of important information but I thought it was going to be about the differences between sexual assault and not a sexual assault. This video kinda was like, if these things happened it is sexual assault and then the majority of the video was about the steps you could take following it.

  • She and other women should stop complaining because they aren’t the only ones who are failed horribly by the justice everyone is one way or another. You see them fail all these other people, so what makes yall think the judicial system is going to any better if some was to be raped?

  • So sad. I thought ours is the worst but when I see this in a country like this I am speechless. To me middle eastern countries are best at this. They are strict and steadfast to implement such laws.

  • once when i was alone in a public restroom, a man came in, masturbated, and left. the whole time i was texting my friends freaking out, i had my feet pulled up and didn’t make a sound. i know i wasn’t assaulted or harassed, but what the heck do i call this? he never touched me, but it’s something that terrified me and i’m never gonna forget the experience and all the things that ran through my head when it was happening.

  • Hey Dr.Doe,

    So about a month ago I stayed at my boyfriends house overnight, at that time one of his best friends which I knew just a bit, was also staying and sleeping on the couch. In the morning my boyfriend had to go to work early and he left the two of us to sleep in as long as we wanted to.

    His friend tried to wake me up and asked if I want to have anything for breakfast I vaguely replied that I want a sandwich and continue to sleep. After 15 min or so I think he called me to eat, I was half asleep as in i could hear everything but i was sleeping at the same time. I could hear him walking up to my bed, just standing there for a few seconds and then he kissed me softly on the cheek but it wasn’t a quick peck it felt so loving.

    I was so shocked at the moment I just pretended to sleep, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want it to be awkward and I didn’t want my bf to lose a good friend over this. This guy has never kissed a girl and has never had a relationship, he was in his early twenties, I was sleeping in my underwear and he probobly was very lonely. Did I do the right thing or should I tell my bf about this?

  • Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’ve replayed the end of this video over and over in order to go to sleep. This morning I watched this video because I’m a longtime subscriber wanting to be more educated and empathetic, but not thinking I’d ever deal with it personally. This evening I had a date come over to watch a movie but when I said I wouldn’t have sex with him he got mad, called me a tease and a liar, and pulled down my bookcase before leaving. Thankfully I had my people, who came over and encouraged me to report it to the police. I was afraid to report anything but I remembered what you said. Thank you so much for these videos. If there’s anyone who thinks these videos don’t apply to them or aren’t important I hope they never find out how wrong they are. You are such a blessing, please keep doing what you’re doing

  • I was just wondering if it’s still abuse if you consented to it but were too young to understand what was happening, i.e. being 10 years old and a 16 year old asking for consent. I think it’s abuse but it’s very confusing.

  • I started tearing up at this. A very close friend of mine was raped a couple years ago. I helped as much as I could, but I just didn’t know what to do.

  • I was “assulted” when I was 14…. because of it I gave birth to my son(who i decided to keep) when I was 15yrs 1month and 1day old. He tried to sue me for custody where the judge(a female) told me to “keep my legs closed”. He still has not been charged or seen a jail cell. Pennsylvania USA. Where rape is “not a crime”

  • sometimes this is too fast for me to follow:/ i get that youtube gives me the liberty to pause, rewind, and even slow the time, just putting it out there.

  • I was assaulted a year ago, and I’m still dealing with the health effects of the strong antibiotics the doctor had me take as a precaution. I’m tired of feeling like I’m still carrying the weight of this with me.

  • There’s a misspell/misuse of a word in your dooblydoo: “you’ve been effected” should be “you’ve be affected” Aside from letting you know that, I want to let you know that I am so grateful to you for writing this and I hope it can help quite a few of friends, especially ones who are not ready to face their harsh pasts yet.

  • Is the person asking the question doing so because they want legal terms, or are the asking so they know how to feel about it? While it’s great that society is more empathetic to other’s trauma, I can’t help but feel we’re simultaneously priming people to have a traumatic reaction to bad situations, where they would otherwise just move on. And society priming people to feel these certain ways doesn’t make these feeling inauthenticso much of our emotional state is largely informed by the current mood of the people around us and what we think is expected of us(though none of this is conscious). I’m just worried that in the attempt to catch the people that fall through the cracks, we create more trauma.

    If someone touches your genitals, and you ask, “was that assault”, I think that’s the wrong question. What’s important is how that experience made them feel. Did it bother her? Did it bother her enough to go to the police? The police can identify it as assault, if it was. Did it bother her enough to find another masseuse?

    If she said, “this happened and I feel violatedwhat are my options?”, this video response makes more sense to me. But she asked if it was assault. I feel like telling her it was assault is synonymous to telling her to be traumatized (at least, with the culture we currently have). And this turns into a pivotal moment instead of it just being that one time that weird thing happened.

    If some guy started to fondle my junk while massaging me, I can’t see my reaction being anything more than slapping his hand away, telling him to fuck off, and spending the rest of the massage wondering if I should find a new guy or if this will be a reoccurring issue.

  • Fuck you!

    In your previous video you presented mutilation and rape of young boys by woman as “the most sexually liberated culture” but now, when your ad watching audience is concerned, you talk about “society getting in your head” and negative effects of assault.

  • I read a comment that some stealing is justifiable but all sexual assault is evil.

    to me I believe both can be seen as taking something from another they don’t want to give for ur own personal pleasure.

    very simple, u scam a person u take their money use it for, alcohol,clothes whatever. I rarely ever see a scam be charged more than 2 years max in jail.

    but justification of stealing goes into i of if their stealing for friends and family strangers as well.

    but then on the sexual side it can be like a gang bang, it’s not just for ur own personal pleasure but of ur friends or strangers or whatever.

    I think sexual abuse is like a spectrum of it can be very horrible or even very good. I think it’s quite surface level to just classify sexual abuse as evil. because then what is not evil? eating, sloth, stealing, cheating, bullying. there’s s lot of issues / experiences that can trigger a traumatic response. it’s just I find it personally odd how on the sexual side of “criminilaty” it’s faced with a lot more judgement and stigma..which is sad cos we are all human with needs and wants, we are not just a doctor, eater, janitor, or a sleeper, or a person that goes to charity or something. a classified sexual abuser can be many different things, a classified gag order protected victim can also be many different things. the problem with that is that I’m just creating general confusion, it’s easier to follow blanket laws, but it also then builds a very big restriction that can proof even to wonder who is the victim and who is the predator when the “predator “is caught and serving such a hefty sentence? we dont want anarchy for sure, but we don’t want unfeeling and unthinking robots either.

  • This video could not have come at a better time for me. I have never been physically assaulted, but a few weeks ago I was put in a situation that was very traumatizing and violating. I feel a lot better about how I handled the incident, especially the reporting part. I’m glad to know I wasn’t overreacting. Thank you.

  • I have been a support for a friend going through this and our experience was nothing like this. If you’re interested, I wrote all about it, here ( https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-RAu-8yt17GPmFpma8ijt7DnEZMRGQRvOuxalIg67J0/edit?usp=sharing) None the less, thank you as ever for this video <3 Love your channel and the work you do x