The Risks to be a People-Pleaser

 

The Dangers of Being a People Pleaser! | Dag Heward-Mills

Video taken from the channel: FaithDigital Network


 

People Pleasing: 10 Reasons You Should Stop Being ‘Too Nice’

Video taken from the channel: Empaths Refuge


 

Why People Pleasing is Hurting You | Salma Hindy | TEDxUofT

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Tips To Stop Being A People Pleaser | People Pleaser Syndrome

Video taken from the channel: Shaun Holden


 

The Dark Side of PEOPLE PLEASING

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5 Signs You’re a People Pleaser

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How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Video taken from the channel: The School of Life


Here are 5 of them: 1. People use you Being a people pleaser leaves you wide open to all kinds of abuse. You become very easy to manipulate 2. You suppress far too much The need to be wanted by others will cause you to harbor an awful lot of negative and 3. Nobody will ever know the true. Being thoughtful and caring are two qualities that can make you more attractive in any relationship, but if you’re someone who goes out of their way to get people to like you, you could be a people-pleaser, with some unfortunate consequences for your own well-being. If you’re always saying yes to others, you’re likely giving [ ]. Bending over backwards to please others can quickly escalate into unhealthy behavior. If your conversations with others are based on what you think they want to hear, you may start telling little.

One danger of being a people pleaser is that you have a hard time receiving care from other people. As a result, you miss out on the joy of being seen and understood. Identify a few key people to come alongside you—it could be a counselor, a spiritual director, or a safe friend. A universally accepted definition of a people pleaser is a person who has an emotional need to please others, often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires. The Dangers of People-Pleasing.

Why Being “Too Nice” Can Be Dangerous 1. You suppress A LOT of emotion. Inevitably, wanting to be loved and needed by others all the time results in 2. Extreme pressure to “keep up appearances”. One of the worst things about constantly being nice is the extreme 3. People use you.

When you’re a. Dangers of the People Pleaser Personality Maintaining a people pleaser personality outside of addiction treatment can prove to be dangerous. If you care about the opinions of others more than the priority of your sobriety, you will likely relapse with the slightest pressure. The Hidden Dangers of Being a People Pleaser.

We all want to be thought of as selfless, helpful, kind—the definition of a good friend. However, for some of us, it’s possible to take things too far. A “people pleaser” is someone who takes a desire to be helpful and considerate to a harmful extreme, and who will go to great lengths to ensure someone else’s satisfaction at the. The Dangers of Being a People Pleaser Dr. Henry Cloud ADD TO LIBRARY FAVORITE Description We’re called to serve others, but we often approach it in an incomplete way; make sure your service of others is biblically based.

Question I’ve always been taught to serve other people. I’m naturally a people pleaser, so this [ ]. People-Pleasing Danger #5: Our actions are manipulative and dishonest.

People-pleasing may seem nice and generous, but it actually leads us to act in ways that are manipulative and dishonest. When we hide our opinion or agree to something we don’t want, we aren’t being truthful.

List of related literature:

A people-pleaser will want everyone to like them and will be very concerned that everyone else is happy.

“Professional Boundaries in Social Work and Social Care: A Practical Guide to Understanding, Maintaining and Managing Your Professional Boundaries” by Frank Cooper
from Professional Boundaries in Social Work and Social Care: A Practical Guide to Understanding, Maintaining and Managing Your Professional Boundaries
by Frank Cooper
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2012

For example, a pleaser who has overfunctioned may learn to take a stand about her own needs and to set limits, while still maintaining her sensitivity to others and her willingness to help.

“Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy” by Alan S. Gurman
from Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy
by Alan S. Gurman
Guilford Publications, 2010

In an extensive review of the self-esteem literature, Baumeister and colleagues (Baumeister 1998; Baumeister, Smart, and Boden 1996) found that when people focus directly on enhancing how they see themselves, an artificially heightened and “dark side” of self-esteem emerges.

“Handbook of Workplace Spirituality and Organizational Performance” by Robert A Giacalone, Carole L. Jurkiewicz
from Handbook of Workplace Spirituality and Organizational Performance
by Robert A Giacalone, Carole L. Jurkiewicz
Taylor & Francis, 2010

But in a marriage, a pleaser must always be wary of overdoing it, especially if he or she is married to a controller or a critical perfectionist.

“The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are” by Kevin Leman
from The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are
by Kevin Leman
Baker Publishing Group, 2009

But there’s a problem when one person is doing all the pleasing and the other is doing all the taking.2 A pleaser often looks confident and successful on the outside, but underneath, her private logic tells her that she can never do enough or be enough to make others happy.

“Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days” by Dr. Kevin Leman
from Have a New Husband by Friday: How to Change His Attitude, Behavior & Communication in 5 Days
by Dr. Kevin Leman
Baker Publishing Group, 2009

I know I’m a people-pleaser.

“Passage Meditation – A Complete Spiritual Practice: Train Your Mind and Find a Life that Fulfills” by Eknath Easwaran
from Passage Meditation – A Complete Spiritual Practice: Train Your Mind and Find a Life that Fulfills
by Eknath Easwaran
Nilgiri Press, 2016

But if you’re wired to be a pleaser, trying to make people happy comes so naturally you don’t even think about it… until the cost to yourself is too high and you’re exhausted.

“What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son's Life” by Dr. Kevin Leman
from What a Difference a Mom Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son’s Life
by Dr. Kevin Leman
Baker Publishing Group, 2012

Learning to trust in friendship, to not be afraid of what people will think when you reveal what’s honestly going on inside you, was part of my journey to wellness.

“All Blacks Don't Cry: A Story of Hope” by John Kirwan
from All Blacks Don’t Cry: A Story of Hope
by John Kirwan
Penguin Random House New Zealand, 2010

Centerbar, D. A. Kermer, and D. T. Gilbert (2005), “The pleasures of uncertainty: Prolonging positive moods in ways people do not anticipate,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 88(1), 5–21.

“The Cambridge Handbook of Psychology and Economic Behaviour” by Alan Lewis
from The Cambridge Handbook of Psychology and Economic Behaviour
by Alan Lewis
Cambridge University Press, 2008

Embodiment expert Michaela Boehm teaches that when we meet our edge, developing our capacity for positive self-talk is critical: “Anytime you feel unsafe or on the edge of your pleasure threshold, but there is no actual danger, you need to be able to say to yourself, ‘It’s okay.

“Pleasurable Weight Loss: The Secrets to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Loving Your Life Today” by Jena la Flamme, Mama Gena
from Pleasurable Weight Loss: The Secrets to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Loving Your Life Today
by Jena la Flamme, Mama Gena
Sounds True, 2015

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
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8 comments

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  • Thank you for sharing this Salma, made me reflect very much. This subject of people pleasing goes well beyond women that had your childhood or upbringing.

  • If you are being nice to please someone, then you are being nice for the wrong reason. Be nice because that’s in your nature. But being nice doesn’t mean being a door mat. So, keep being nice as you are. Work on your “people skills” and how people perceive you, to avoid being taken. advantage of.

  • #5 sucks. Ever talk or ask a question in a group of people you frequent and they all ignore you? Or you stop to tie your shoe and they leave you behind?
    Now I know how Casper feels

  • What I got from this: being kind is not equal to being fearful. Because you’re not a good person, you’re just scared of the consequences of not being kind. You need to grow some teeth (become more powerful), and show them to people, so they can see you can’t be their punching bag. But you need to use them wisely, because that’s where the true kindness comes from. Knowing when to control the monster within you or not.

  • Someone wise once said, “Never be too good at something you don’t like doing”. Do it once, badly, and they’ll never ask you again.:-D

  • I’m kinda mad at myself for relating to this. I know it’s bad, but it’s hard me, i will feel guilt. I said no once to my friend and it happened to be a wrong choice, something happen and my guilt never end ever since

  • This happened to me at my previous workplace. Everyone of the staff members used me as a doormat and a puppet and I was called a lot of bad names which destroyed my confidence. Unfortunately, now I struggle with low self esteem and a whole lot of mental and physical health issues.

  • NO THOSE MAGAZINES. ARE DISGUSTING,GROW UP,YOUR NOT A LITTLE GIRL WITH PINKY STUFF,TRYING TO LOOK LIKE ONE….IM…NOT…GOING. TO SUBSCRIBE