The Reason Why You Shouldn t Be considered a Helicopter Mother

 

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Weekly I come across articles written by other moms bashing and criticizing what is known as a “helicopter mom” — the overprotective parent who is too involved, hindering their child’s independence. I have a confession: I’m a helicopter mom. My helicopter might be different than yours, and not all helicopter parenting is the same in my opinion.

Okay, look – let me preface this by saying, I’m really in NO position to be giving anyone parenting advice. Not only have I been a mother for less than 3 years, but I’m only kind of good at it. I keep my kid fed, clothed and relatively happy but everything else is hit or [ ]. For those of you who aren’t sure what helicopter parenting is, no, it’s not when a family takes a helicopter to the Hamptons vs the Jitney. It’s when a (usually) mom “hovers” over their child at the playground or any other location where uninformed spies can pass judgment. “Helicoptering” makes certain busy bodies very agitated.

Helicopter Parenting Makes Parents Miserable A 2012 report in the Journal Of Child And Family Studies (you don’t subscribe?) found that mothers with an “intensive parenting attitude” were more stressed and depressed than mothers who were more laissez-faire. Studies by the American Psychological Association found that children with helicopter parents were less capable of managing their emotions and behavior independently, thus less able to deal with the challenging demands of growing up, attending school, or going to work. Listen, I know you want your independence but if you’re going to try to understand her point of view, this isn’t going to work. And honestly, if you’re going to have a tantrum before you even sit down with her, well, I get why she’s a helicopter mom. You’re immature.

So, if you. The first thing you need to do if you want to stop being a helicopter parent is to relax and accept the fact that you will never be capable of protecting your children from all of the dangers in the world. This may be. Stopping your helicopter parenting doesn’t mean you’re going to give them absolute freedom to do what they want but just enough space for them to fight their own battles and develop their skills and identity.

While this may be difficult for you as a parent, this may involve allowing them to take risks and decide for themselves on certain things. She can’t, mustn’t, shouldn’t reject Mom. Why?

Mom’s psyche can’t handle it. What’s going on hereMom’s insecurity is the central reason for her narcissism. The narcissistic defense is standing guard at the edge of a bottomless pit of mom’s need and feelings of worthlessness. That’s why mom can’t withstand rejection.

As childhood obesity, anxiety, depression and suicide rates continue to grow in the United States, some blame in part a facet of modern life, so-called helicopter parenting. There’s concern that a.

List of related literature:

The helicopter parent is overly protective and thus controlling, wanting to protect the child from any danger and provide ultimate success.

“Burns' Pediatric Primary Care E-Book” by Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks, Nancy Barber Starr, Margaret A. Brady, Nan M. Gaylord, Martha Driessnack, Karen Duderstadt
from Burns’ Pediatric Primary Care E-Book
by Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks, Nancy Barber Starr, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Many times when I speak publicly about the independence-dependence dynamic, I get asked about “helicopter parenting.”

“Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up” by Vanessa Lapointe, Dr. Laura Markham
from Discipline Without Damage: How to Get Your Kids to Behave Without Messing Them Up
by Vanessa Lapointe, Dr. Laura Markham
LifeTree Media, 2015

Note: We are not talking about helicopter parents!

“Managing the Millennials: Discover the Core Competencies for Managing Today's Workforce” by Chip Espinoza, Mick Ukleja
from Managing the Millennials: Discover the Core Competencies for Managing Today’s Workforce
by Chip Espinoza, Mick Ukleja
Wiley, 2016

Because I was clearly pregnant it was against the rules for me to be taken with her on the helicopter, something about air pressure making it dangerous.

“The Yorkshire Shepherdess” by Amanda Owen
from The Yorkshire Shepherdess
by Amanda Owen
Pan Macmillan, 2014

They don’t want to be helicopter parents.

“The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups” by Leonard Sax
from The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups
by Leonard Sax
Basic Books, 2015

It’s not about becoming a helicopter parent – it’s about being involved, knowing what is going on for them, so you can make the call when it’s obvious that things aren’t going right.

“Stand By Me: Helping Your Teen Through Tough Times: Helping Your Teen Through Tough Times” by John Kirwan, Elliot Bell, Kirsty Louden-Bell
from Stand By Me: Helping Your Teen Through Tough Times: Helping Your Teen Through Tough Times
by John Kirwan, Elliot Bell, Kirsty Louden-Bell
Penguin Random House New Zealand, 2014

I don’t want to be a helicopter parent, doing things for my children that they should be doing for themselves.

“Unschooling To University: Relationships Matter Most in a World Crammed With Content” by Judy L Arnall
from Unschooling To University: Relationships Matter Most in a World Crammed With Content
by Judy L Arnall
Judy Arnall, 2018

There is a difference between being there for your children and being a helicopter parent.

“The Trophy Kids Grow Up: How the Millennial Generation is Shaking Up the Workplace” by Ron Alsop
from The Trophy Kids Grow Up: How the Millennial Generation is Shaking Up the Workplace
by Ron Alsop
Wiley, 2008

I’ve never been the helicopter mom, hovering obsessively over my kids.

“The Naked Mom: A Modern Mom's Fearless Revelations, Savvy Advice, and Soulful Reflections” by Brooke Burke
from The Naked Mom: A Modern Mom’s Fearless Revelations, Savvy Advice, and Soulful Reflections
by Brooke Burke
Penguin Publishing Group, 2011

It is interesting that in Samantha’s helicopter story she is a little girl; perhaps it is difficult to imagine the mother’s role in a helicopter fantasy.

“The Boy Who Would Be a Helicopter” by Vivian Gussin PALEY
from The Boy Who Would Be a Helicopter
by Vivian Gussin PALEY
Harvard University Press, 1991

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
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Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
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  • On our Tumblr, a follower asked about the effects of helicopter parenting. We recognize how important this topic could be because of the harm that a helicopter parent can cause, we decided to release this video a day early. Hope you find this video helpful and share it so that more awareness can be brought to the attention of bad or toxic types of parenting. But of course, there may or may not be right or wrong way of parenting, but we can agreed that some are more harmful than good on some level.

  • My parents have, for my entire life (16 yrs), “protected me”, which basically means denying me the ability to live my own life and experience the world. Yet when I try to confront them, they give me tiny examples of how they do (like being able to text people when I got my first phone at 15), and they make me feel guilty about resenting them. They also (whether intentionally or not) blow off my opinions on their parenting as “every teenager hates their parents” or “every teenager thinks their parents are overprotective” or some BS. That plus they tell me about how I have no right to question their parenting style because I’m too young, or something like that.
    I need to get out of the house, but I have nowhere to go, nowhere that I can be totally free of them without also sacrificing my current life and entire future.

  • So I feel like none of my friends understand my situation, so I wanted to ask you guys?
    I’ve always known my parents were overly strict, but this summer and over the course of COVID it just is getting worse. I can’t talk to them about anything cause they never negotiate, or apologize. That is probably typical for any parent (?) but they keep restricting anything and everything. Can’t go out with friends, but on the rare occasion I’m allowed to, my mom or dad is ALWAYS there. The reason being something completely ridiculous such as “they may have a different lifestyle and we don’t want you exposed to that.” Listen, I grew up thinking all their views and opinions were right, but my best friend taught me to form my own opinion before blindly believing them. That really opened my eyes and now I am so much more open minded in my opinions (accepting all genders, situations, sexualities, religions, etc.) and I really found out a lot about myself. But if I ever say anything contrary to their belief it’s me “believing the insidious lies of modern society” (this is just me talking about feminism btw). On top of any other problems with my family there is alwayyssss yelling/screaming. I was used to it since I was kinda brought up that way but like I realized it wasn’t so normal? I have the same freedoms as when I was 5, and it keeps getting more restricting. I won’t liste everything but I hope you get the idea? I feel like maybe this is why I am such a socially awkward person in general? Idk sorry for this rant, I hope someone can help (if it’s toxic, abusive, or just a normal family)?

  • I have very suffocating parents.. All decisions even the person they want me be with.. They choose even that.. I don’t have a life

  • I have overprotective parents and they also pressurize so much like at an absolute abnormal level that each day I felt that I am gonna burning myself up (burnout you may say )!
    And I am 16 but they still stops me from going outside and be friends with other teens of my age but they don’t allow me!
    Home is nothing but a cage to me and I literally hate my parents for that!
    Felt like I am gonna die one day because of their own personal sake!
    If any parent is seeing this message please don’t be overprotective this type of nature does nothing but harm ur kids and believe me if kids also hate you if u are a overprotective one!!
    I am already destroyed!
    It’s a lesson for me to not be like my parents when it comes to parenting!!

  • I never wanna be a parent like this. My parents were real nice and they gave me freedom but if i did some dumb shit they let me know.

  • I really wish my parents weren’t like this. I missed out on a lot as a teen and it shows in my now 20’s. I don’t understand anything about myself or most things. It’s a heavy thing to deal with.

  • Hey look its mom Ah 64 apache attack helicopter loaded with 8 atgms 2 aim 9x missiles and 4 gbu 65’s circling above “skies are clear sending in bomb load”

  • Cut myself for the first time because of this, I can’t tell them anything. I always have to tell my friends online about everything, go to them for advice because I trust them more than my parents. I’m rebellious, failing in school, and they are so headstrong that they don’t realize it even when I give them examples. I just can’t, what do I do… they are involved with everything, and they make it seem less because they give such bad punishments. If I do something wrong, it’s straight to taking my freedom away, because no freedom means more results right?

  • B.S.
    There are plenty of examples of extremely successful people who come from big families and as an only child with their parents ages ranging from teens (a woman like Oprah) to others who’s parents were in their 50s when they were born.

    A persons success has NOTHING to do with the age of the parents or how many kids are in the family.
    It always comes down to a person’s own will. An individual can determine their own success despite outer circumstances.

    To blame society, your parents, etc is a lazy excuse to not be the best version of themselves as a person.

  • My helicopter parents need to watch this. I can’t even cook a simple meal without them jumping like I’m going to burn the house down

  • From what I see in the video, some helicopter parents provide affection and care. Well, my helicopter parents only provide nagging. It sucks.