Publish-Adoption Depressive Syndrome It Isn’t Unusual to Feel Sad After an Adoption

 

Overcoming Post-Adoption Blues | Post-Adoption Depression Part 2

Video taken from the channel: La Casa de Katie


 

Post adoption depression | Post adoption support | It’s ok not to be ok | Guest story| UK Adoption

Video taken from the channel: Aimee vlog


 

Post Adoption Depression

Video taken from the channel: LIfeline Child


 

Post Adoption Depression Syndrome

Video taken from the channel: Dr. John DeGarmo


 

5 TIPS on ADOPTION and MENTAL HEALTH | Kati Morton, Therapist | Kati Morton

Video taken from the channel: Kati Morton


 

Post Adoption Depression Syndrome

Video taken from the channel: Instant Family Of Six


 

Post-Adoption Blues Part 1 | Feeling Sad After Adopting

Video taken from the channel: La Casa de Katie


While post-adoptive depressive syndrome (PADS) is not yet recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, the condition exists and was brought to light in the mid-1990s, though it was likely a relatively common thing for adoptive women to experience well before that. One study conducted in 1999 revealed that an estimated 65 percent of women who had adopted children from Eastern Europe. While post-adoptive depressive syndrome (PADS) is not yet recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, the condition exists and was brought to light in the mid-1990s, though it was likely a relatively common thing for adoptive women to experience well before that. I wasn’t and still am not allowed help because I’m high functioning. Because I fall into a grey area.

Because emotionally unstable personality disorder is not classed as mental health. I’ve had depression well over 11 years still not enough. I have aspegers and agrophobia still not enough. Thank-you for your inputs.

I’ve stopped taking my medications-they do no good at all. I was recently put on a stronger dose of Prozac and Seroquel which only made me feel more depressed, suicidal, and like a zombie. I have not taken anything since Tuesday and feel very irratible. I continue to have serious thoughts of suicide.

I worried and feel overwhelmed with grief. Going through depression after having my son was hard and troubling. I couldn’t underdtand why feel sad and worried when being a mother was all I wanted.

I realized that I need to get help to feel better. Depression comes and goes and makes feel. I am married and I had an abortion 4months ago.. i want to have the baby but my husband is not ready so I had an abortion from that day I started hated him and I can’t live with him every time being with him makes me sad, Depressed and I remembers about the baby.. please help me I’m feeling depressed I want to kill myself..

Said friend has many other friends but I don’t feel connected at all. The verbal abuse from my house and the years of being called “useless” “good for nothing” and “lazy” started weighing on me. I started feeling depressed in 7th grade and I’m really not having a good time. • Hippocrates taught that illnesses had natural causes.

He saw abnormal behavior as an arising of physical problems. He though disorders resulted from an imbalance of four fluids, or humors, that flowed through the body: yellow bile (irritable temper, choleric), black bile (sadness, melancholic), blood (sanguine, hyper cheerful), and phlegm (disconnected no pleasure). lunacy trials were held in 13th century; determine sanity of person; not unusual to be because of natural causes, ie “blow to the head” or “fear of one’s father”. but longer-lasting and less disabling than a major depressive disorder pattern of unipolar depression lasts at least 2 yrs works only as long as its taken, depression. My wife and I have been married for almost 3 years. We have been trying desperately to have a baby since about six months after our marriage.

We haven’t had any luck and my wife’s doctor recommended we see a specialist. He told us it is extremely unlikely my wife would be able to give birth to a child without serious health complications. This news came to us late last year and has been hard.

List of related literature:

In such scenarios, any sign of grief on the part of the adoptee can be read as ungratefulness, for nothing signals a lack of appreciating more clearly than being depressed when one is expected to be happy; the sad adoptee is, in a way, betraying the pact of happiness that her new family is counting on.

“The Ethics of Opting Out: Queer Theory's Defiant Subjects” by Mari Ruti
from The Ethics of Opting Out: Queer Theory’s Defiant Subjects
by Mari Ruti
Columbia University Press, 2017

This underscores the ambiguousness of the adoption loss because they are being asked to be grateful for an experience that causes them to feel happy and also sad.

“Inside Transracial Adoption: Strength-based, Culture-sensitizing Parenting Strategies for Inter-country or Domestic Adoptive Families That Don't
from Inside Transracial Adoption: Strength-based, Culture-sensitizing Parenting Strategies for Inter-country or Domestic Adoptive Families That Don’t “Match”, Second Edition
by Gail Steinberg, Beth Hall
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2013

Meanwhile, mourning and other distressing feelings interfere with the possibility of attachment to loving adoptive parents.

“Understanding Attachment: Parenting, Child Care, and Emotional Development” by Jean Mercer
from Understanding Attachment: Parenting, Child Care, and Emotional Development
by Jean Mercer
Praeger Publishers, 2006

Adoption is often framed as the happy ending to a sad story, but Terwee and other adult adoptees suggest that the ending is not an ending at all.

“Adopted Territory: Transnational Korean Adoptees and the Politics of Belonging” by Eleana J. Kim
from Adopted Territory: Transnational Korean Adoptees and the Politics of Belonging
by Eleana J. Kim
Duke University Press, 2010

In one study, Edwards et al. (2015) found that sadness was unrelated to sympathy for 18-month-old toddlers and was negatively related a year later.

“Handbook of Emotional Development” by Vanessa LoBue, Koraly Pérez-Edgar, Kristin A. Buss
from Handbook of Emotional Development
by Vanessa LoBue, Koraly Pérez-Edgar, Kristin A. Buss
Springer International Publishing, 2019

The child’s sense of loss associated with adoption is accompanied by many behavioral, emotional, and attitudinal changes.

“The Psychology of Adoption” by David M. Brodzinsky Associate Professor of Developmental and Clinical Psychology Rutgers University, Marshall D. Schechter Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine (Emeritus)
from The Psychology of Adoption
by David M. Brodzinsky Associate Professor of Developmental and Clinical Psychology Rutgers University, Marshall D. Schechter Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine (Emeritus)
Oxford University Press, USA, 1990

The normal grief reaction accompanying relinquishment may persist and often leads to chronic unresolved grief that may present itself during and after a subsequent pregnancy.13 Her depressed mood could also be resulting from unresolved grief from the loss of a parent, spouse, or child.

“Merenstein & Gardner's Handbook of Neonatal Intensive Care E-Book: An Interprofessional Approach” by Sandra Lee Gardner, Brian S. Carter, Mary I Enzman-Hines, Susan Niermeyer
from Merenstein & Gardner’s Handbook of Neonatal Intensive Care E-Book: An Interprofessional Approach
by Sandra Lee Gardner, Brian S. Carter, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2020

The feeling of loss may be salient in the lives of children who have lost a parent early through death or divorce, but the information given to facilitate grieving is decidedly different from what is available to most adoptees.

“Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief” by Dennis Klass, Phyllis R. Silverman, Steven L. Nickman, Steven Nickman
from Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief
by Dennis Klass, Phyllis R. Silverman, et. al.
Taylor & Francis, 1996

Mild depression after the birth of a child is now acknowledged as quite common.

“
from “The Yellow Wall-paper” by Charlotte Perkins Gilman: A Dual-text Critical Edition
by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Shawn St. Jean, Shawn Saint Jean
Ohio University Press, 2006

The grief families experience at having a child who is “not normal” is likely to recur when transitions occur in the life of the child.

“Teaching Social Skills to Students with Visual Impairments: From Theory to Practice” by Sharon Sacks, Karen E. Wolffe
from Teaching Social Skills to Students with Visual Impairments: From Theory to Practice
by Sharon Sacks, Karen E. Wolffe
AFB Press, 2006

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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22 comments

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  • Thank you for this video. I am going through many of these emotions right now and we are only fostering. No one talks about this so thank you. ❤️

  • My story for being adopted was dark, and not something you would tell your child….i feel the damage is done and i will never heal, but im always healing.

  • Hi Kati. As a teen adopted from China now living in Canada, I’m glad you finally did this video! I’ve always wondered about my birth parents and where I came from. My adopted parents never really talked about it much unless I asked, which I don’t always feel comfortable with doing. I did ask once and they told me to remember that they are my mom and dad, which kind of made me feel bad. I don’t have connection to my birth parents which sucks:( but I loved this video! Thanks for everything you do for me!��

  • Thank you I’ve been struggling with being adopted, I used to think that no body loved me because my real mom and dad didn’t. I still don’t know my real parents, but I’m happy with who I’m with.

  • I stumbled upon this video and it was very helpful I was adopted and im 14 i wish my parents told me about my adoption when I was younger to this day they still haven’t told me everything but………this video was helpful and thank you for someone who actually isn’t mean about being adopted thank you

  • Thank you for tackling the topic of adoption. I’ve been learning about Nancy Verier’s concept of the “Primal wound”, which, through research and as an adoptee, I find to be an important concept to cover as well.

  • Thank you for doing this video. The video made so much sense and answered so many questions that I have had for so many years. Being adopted was a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. I was a about 5 when my bio mom left me and my sister, adopted by my fathers wife when I was 6 or 7. Talking about being adopted was taboo and made it very hard growing up. It made it even harder when you don’t know where you come from and your adopted mother told you so many time over that “you are not my daughter” and “go live with your real mother”. Though when ever I asked about her I would get yelled at or made ashamed of it. I know that this is not how it is for everyone. I do think adoption is a great thing and so very special, but parents that are adopting please be honest and explain what is going on with your child.

  • I was abandoned at 3months and adopted at 5 i am 15 now and i have never met another adopted person i feel as if i don’t belong and i have trust issues i don’t know what to do i find it hard to make stable relationships with people i am an introvert. I have low selfesteem. I have one friend and i am so thankful for her but sadly she isn’t adopted so she isn’t able to understand how i feel as much as i would like her to. When i tell other people that i am adopted they have a blank expression as if they are scared. I have looked into adoption support groups but there aren’t any in my area. What do i do?

  • “where do you feel it in your body?”
    “it’s an attachment device”
    “you have a real sensitivity to energy”
    ….just some of the bull crap that can come out of an adoption therapist’s mouth.

  • I’m struggling with this right now. She’s three days old and we went through the whole pregnancy with the birth mom and I figured I would get that immediate bond. My husband did, I did not. I haven’t slept in four days and I keep crying because I feel awful that I don’t have that bond. I stay up all night because I am terrified of something going wrong.

  • I lost my family numerous times before age 7, so this damage followed me into my adoption I think I was borderline psychotic without help for decades. When parents yell, criticize and doubt it doesn’t help heal back what was missed out on in earlier life.

    It took me until my forties to take an honest look at what happened and seek a path to health.

  • 5# is extremely helpful to know. My therapist mentioned this and recommended that I do some research tonight(which is why I’m watching this video). I’m adopted with amazing parents yet still have some self worth issues along with generalize anxiety. I’m way too critical of myself.. I always jump to negative conclusions about myself..struggle internally when accepting any kind of compliment.

    It’s like I subconsciously don’t value myself. I have to battle these negative thoughts constantly throughout the day.

    My birth mother did drugs in the womb and i was hospitalized for months after birth. I think being isolated without a mother for the first 6 months is a source for my self worth issue. I feel relieved knowing that connection.

  • On the topic of self worth, how about if other people started changing their attitude around adoption? Stop treating me as if the only people who would raise me is out of pity? “Oh you’re parents are so strong, I could NEVER adopt”… I’m not fucking trash, my parents aren’t extra special for raising me LIKE EVERY OTHER CHILD. Also, seriously take a step back and reanalyze your life if you TRULY believe that the only people who can be loved have to come out your fucking vagina!! “WHAAAA I CAN’T HAVE KIDS!!!” you can adopt? “ITS NOT THE SAME!!!”, uh bitch yes i fucking am, I am EXACTLY the same to my parents as you are to yours, there is no fucking difference except in who did the delivery
    “But its hard”, so I’m not worth it?
    “They have so many rules” so pedos and sex rings should have an easy time obtaining prey?
    “They want to come check and visit my house!!” nobody should make sure that the child will be in a safe environment?
    WE have WORTH, WE are JUST as good as kids from your genitals, We have the same worth as blood, we are WORTH the effort, we are worth having OUR safety looked after. And most importantly all those babies NEED homes!!! Stop paying 2 million dollars for shots in your ass just to make sure a child who is already in need does NOT get a home (seriously, you’ll spend hundreds of thousands of dollars… but filling out paperwork and having a home check is too fucking much???)

  • I definitely experienced some of these feelings after our adoption. I actually vlogged about my experiences with it the other day because what I remember most is the isolation and shame I felt. Videos like these help people know they aren’t alone ❤️ I love the advice you give in this video! Very helpful…I really love the fact that you are open with your kids about your feelings. Such a great example!

  • I’m a 15 year old lesbian who will probably adopt a kid some day, so this is really helpful! I wanna be the best mom I can be to my future kids. <3

  • Thank you Kati for putting into words some concepts around adoption which totally made sense to me as I was watching this video. Incredibly helpful as an adoptee. Wow! So much to work on in therapy and I am definitely going to take this video and speak about this, navigate my way through speaking my own story. Thank you

  • I was adopted…I found out at 12 yrs old when,someone at school told me,,then my mom said how I was adopted and that my birth mom was a drug addicted prostitute….,my adopted mom we bipolar and munchousens.,she fed me meds I shouldn’t have. taken…so I’ve struggled with addiction and I’ve also attracted many cluster B men….I’ve recently been diagnosed with STPD.,.

  • My stepmom only adopted me for the money I believe. She’s always talking about how when I grow up how I’m going to make money and give it to her. Makes me feel worthless.

  • For teenagers, what do you have to say about the adoption anxiety, as I call it, when they are placed in an adoptive home, and before the adoption is finalized, kids try very hard to sabotage it as they feat the unknown…even though they love being adopted?

  • Exactly! Thank you. Also: Please don’t say that I am adopted (not you, Kati; I mean those who do say that):). I was adopted. It happened in the distant past. LOL. It’s hard to always know the ethnicity and health history. The parents don’t always know all the facts about the birth parents. PS I grew up with insufficient self-soothing skills and terrible OCD, eating problems and depression. I did recently meet my bio fam, though! Lovely people!

  • Does anyone have any suggestions when you first brought the child (3 years old) home from another country and he is throwing a tantrum and crying all the time? I’m not sure what methods to try to adjust him to his new home beside from buying him toys or lying to him that he is just at this house temporarily.

  • Hi Kati! When’s the best time to disclose to the public that you are adopted?

    P.S. I work in a clinic where I give Psychological Tests to Future adoptive parents:) This video makes me love my work all the more. Thank you!