Preparing Your Son Or Daughter for any New Brother or sister

 

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Once you’ve broken the big news, you’ll most likely have several months to prepare your child for a brother or sister. How best to do this will depend on your firstborn’s age and interest level. We’ll help you figure out how to talk to your child about the baby, involve him in the preparations, and get him ready for the momentous change that’s coming. Depending on their age, a big brother or sister may want to entertain the baby during a diaper change, help push the carriage, talk to the baby, or help dress, bathe, or burp the baby. If your child expresses no interest in the baby, don’t be alarmed and don’t force it.

It can take time. Getting your older children involved in the preparations for the new baby will help them to feel more a part of the change and growth in the family. Some families involve older children in decorating the new baby’s nursery or choosing toys for their new sibling. Having enough time to deal both with the new baby and your older child is very important, as there are many things that you can do when it comes to preparing your child for a new sibling.

Firstly, make sure that your older child hears from you about the arrival of the new baby. Pediatrician Dr. Alan Greene, author of Feeding Baby Green: The Earth Friendly Program for Healthy, Safe Nutrition During Pregnancy, Childhood, and Beyond adds that, “the best preparation is to re-enforce your child’s role in the family — especially the new role as older sibling. Talk to your child about the new baby by calling him ‘your little brother’ instead of ‘Mommy’s new baby’ or even ‘the new baby.’.

Prepare your child for a new sibling: Buy a baby doll! We now have a few baby doll s in the house, and they are some of the most coveted toys. Yes, even in a house with only boys!The best thing is for mom and dad to make special one-on-one time everyday, maybe even twice a day, for the oldest child that is sacrosanct, especially if that child is exhibiting insecurity early on. They need to ensure that those special times continue after the new baby arrives.

Prepare your child for when you are in the hospital. He may be confused when you leave for the hospital. Explain that you will be back with the new baby in a few days. Set aside special time for your older child. Read, play games, listen to music, or simply talk together.

Show him that you love him and want to do things with him. Preparing your other children for the new baby: tips Before your new baby is born, you can help your other children feel positive about the new member of the family. They need preparation, communication and lots of understanding. Schiller says you should talk to your child about becoming a sibling in an “age-appropriate way” and be honest about the difficult aspects of their new role.

She suggests getting them to help you.

List of related literature:

After the infant or child comes home: • Encourage parents to consistently spend time with the older sibling to include the older sibling in the care of the new baby.

“Pediatric Primary Care E-Book” by Catherine E. Burns, Ardys M. Dunn, Margaret A. Brady, Nancy Barber Starr, Catherine G. Blosser, Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks
from Pediatric Primary Care E-Book
by Catherine E. Burns, Ardys M. Dunn, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2012

Spending focused time with each parent—especially the mother—can help alleviate the older child’s feelings of displacement and help the adjustment to being the new older brother or sister.

“Counseling the Nursing Mother” by Judith Lauwers, Anna Swisher
from Counseling the Nursing Mother
by Judith Lauwers, Anna Swisher
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2010

Siblings often help to prepare the baby’s room, call the sibling by name if a name has been chosen, listen to the heartbeat of the unborn child, and express their feelings about the arrival of a new brother or sister.

“Broadribb's Introductory Pediatric Nursing” by Nancy T. Hatfield
from Broadribb’s Introductory Pediatric Nursing
by Nancy T. Hatfield
Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2003

Help the older child identify which possessions and space will be off limits to her new sibling, and encourage her to devise a strategy for protecting her private space.

“Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft Revised Edition” by Mary Hopkins-Best
from Toddler Adoption: The Weaver’s Craft Revised Edition
by Mary Hopkins-Best
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2012

Have her bring a present for the baby, to be placed in the isolette, which will help her feel that she’s a part of the team caring for her new sibling.

“What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
from What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]
by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
Simon & Schuster UK, 2010

For example, if parents prepare siblings for the arrival of a new baby and continue to meet the older sibling’s emotional and physical needs, children tend to adjust more easily to the change in their family.

“Home, School, and Community Collaboration: Culturally Responsive Family Engagement” by Kathy B. Grant, Julie A. Ray
from Home, School, and Community Collaboration: Culturally Responsive Family Engagement
by Kathy B. Grant, Julie A. Ray
SAGE Publications, 2015

Preparation of the siblings for the anticipated birth is imperative and must be designed according to the age and life experiences of the sibling at home.

“Maternity and Pediatric Nursing” by Susan Scott Ricci, Terri Kyle
from Maternity and Pediatric Nursing
by Susan Scott Ricci, Terri Kyle
Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2009

For example, if parents prepare siblings for the arrival of a new baby and continue to meet the older sibling’s emotional and physical needs, children tend to adjust easier to the change in their family.

“Home, School, and Community Collaboration: Culturally Responsive Family Involvement” by Kathy B. Grant, Julie A. Ray
from Home, School, and Community Collaboration: Culturally Responsive Family Involvement
by Kathy B. Grant, Julie A. Ray
SAGE Publications, 2010

Actually, most siblings handle the first days of a new baby pretty well.

“Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care: 9th Edition” by Benjamin Spock, Robert Needlman
from Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care: 9th Edition
by Benjamin Spock, Robert Needlman
Pocket Books, 2011

Spending focused time with each parent—especially the mother— can help alleviate an older child’s feelings of displacement and ease the adjustment to being the older brother or sister.

“Counseling the Nursing Mother” by Judith Lauwers, Anna Swisher
from Counseling the Nursing Mother
by Judith Lauwers, Anna Swisher
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2015

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • Just brought a new baby home yesterday so this video is SUPER relative! I totally agree to get big brother involved and excited is key. My older son was so excited to have “jobs” like reminding people to wash their hands and read to brother everyday. MY only question is any advice when older child doesn’t fully understand how to be gentle? My older son can sometimes squeeze baby or poke cute baby a little too hard and it gets me so nervous but at the same time I don’t want to discourage bonding.