Is Sleep Training Your Child Dangerous

 

Sleep Routines for Newborns After 6-8 Weeks

Video taken from the channel: Mount Sinai Parenting Center


 

Why the ‘Cry it Out’ Method Harms Babies | Erica Komisar, LCSW

Video taken from the channel: Erica Komisar, LCSW


 

Should You Let Your Baby ‘Cry It Out’ and Sleep?

Video taken from the channel: Cleveland Clinic


 

Sleep Training for Parents and Infants

Video taken from the channel: Healthcare Triage


 

Is Sleep Training Bad for My Baby?

Video taken from the channel: BabySleepMadeSimple


 

How to start SLEEP TRAINING | Infant Sleep Tips for Beginners

Video taken from the channel: Bridget Teyler


 

Sleep Training

Video taken from the channel: AdvocateHealthCare


Myth: Sleep training (or NOT sleep training) my children could harm them in the long term. Fact: There’s no data to show either choice hurts your child in the long-run. TUESDAY, May 24, 2016 (HealthDay News) Common techniques for helping babies and parents sleep at night seem to carry no long-term harms, a small trial finds.

The study tested two methods: “graduated extinction” (also known as “controlled crying”) and “bedtime fading.” The former strategy is aimed at letting babies “self-soothe” on their own, without. While it’s still unclear which method will work best for each baby and family, mounting research suggests that the practice of letting a baby cry for short intervals while learning to put herself to sleep is not inherently harmful —and does not seem to cause long term emotional problems for the baby or disrupt the parent-child bond. Sleep training is harmful because it confuses the child over the long-term. While, most babies that cry-it-out will eventually stop expecting the attention, help, and comfort they crave for a short period of time, childhood is a time of milestone after milestone and life just doesn’t cease because a child enters the picture. So, no, I am not going to argue here that sleep training will be psychologically harmful to your baby, though I encourage you to check out another blog post with my Top Ten Tips for Coping With Your Baby’s Sleep.

I am going to be talking here about someone who I KNOW for certain can be damaged by sleep training advice: MOTHERS!If sleep training is so harmful (according to up to date research), why is it still legal and, even in most countries, recommended by the department of health? Health departments and academies, at. While it may involve some tears, sleep training isn’t harmful for babies, who often learn to be super sleepers in just a few nights. Sleep training is the process of helping a baby learn to fall asleep and stay asleep through the night.

Some babies do this quickly and easily. But many others have trouble settling down to sleep – or getting back to sleep when they’ve wakened – and they need help along the way. Even though, Sleep training is the most popular methods of improving a child’s sleep habits, it may not always lead to positive results as intended.

You need a good sleep; so does your baby. Your baby shall thank you even more if you do not insist on sleep-training them. Sleep is important in mental, physical and emotional health. The first year with your baby should be a joyful, precious, and peaceful time.

Don’t let behaviorist ideas or sleep training mandates take that away.

List of related literature:

Avoid having the infant sleep in a prone position, overheating the infant, or letting the infant sleep with another person; provide a firm sleeping surface; allow no loose blankets, pillows, or stuffed toys in the infant’s bed; avoid smoking during or after pregnancy.

“Study Guide for Foundations of Maternal-Newborn and Women's Health Nursing” by Sharon Smith Murray, MSN, RN, C, Emily Slone McKinney, MSN, RN, C
from Study Guide for Foundations of Maternal-Newborn and Women’s Health Nursing
by Sharon Smith Murray, MSN, RN, C, Emily Slone McKinney, MSN, RN, C
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2013

Sleep training schemes and forcing the baby to “cry it out” to “teach him to sleep longer” are devastatingly harmful to the baby and detrimental to the mother–baby relationship (KendallTackett, 2013; Middlemiss et al., 2012).

“Breastfeeding and Human Lactation” by Karen Wambach, Becky Spencer
from Breastfeeding and Human Lactation
by Karen Wambach, Becky Spencer
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2019

Not only does the baby benefit from the enhanced emotional intelligence and greater cognitive development of proper sleep, but the parents will also reap its rewards.

“The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours aNight” by Suzy Giordano, Lisa Abidin
from The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours aNight
by Suzy Giordano, Lisa Abidin
Penguin Publishing Group, 2006

Although most studies find that sleep training can alter a baby’s behavior, there is no evidence to suggest that these changes last and some concern as to their long-term effect on babies.

“Infant and Toddler Development from Conception to Age 3: What Babies Ask of Us” by Mary Jane Maguire-Fong, Marsha Peralta
from Infant and Toddler Development from Conception to Age 3: What Babies Ask of Us
by Mary Jane Maguire-Fong, Marsha Peralta
Teachers College Press, 2018

Avoid allowing the infant to sleep in a prone position, overheating the infant, or letting the infant sleep with another person; provide a firm sleeping surface; allow no loose blankets, pillows, or stuffed toys in the infant’s bed; avoid smoking during or after

“Study Guide for Foundations of Maternal-Newborn and Women's Health Nursing E-Book” by Sharon Smith Murray, Emily Slone McKinney
from Study Guide for Foundations of Maternal-Newborn and Women’s Health Nursing E-Book
by Sharon Smith Murray, Emily Slone McKinney
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2018

The premature infant is most at risk, spending up to 20 hours a day asleep, 80% of which may be in active REM sleep compared with 20% in adult sleep.

“Physiotherapy for Respiratory and Cardiac Problems: Adults and Paediatrics” by Jennifer A. Pryor, Ammani S Prasad
from Physiotherapy for Respiratory and Cardiac Problems: Adults and Paediatrics
by Jennifer A. Pryor, Ammani S Prasad
Elsevier Health Sciences UK, 2008

Evidence suggests that there is no advantage for an infant sleeping away from the company of caregivers; however, there are some conditions that promote a safe sleep environment.

“Encyclopedia of Family Health” by Martha Craft-Rosenberg, Shelley-Rae Pehler
from Encyclopedia of Family Health
by Martha Craft-Rosenberg, Shelley-Rae Pehler
SAGE Publications, 2011

There was a 176% increase in autonomic activity and an 86% decrease in quiet sleep duration during mother–newborn separation episodes compared with skin-to-skin contact.

“Breastfeeding Management for the Clinician” by Marsha Walker
from Breastfeeding Management for the Clinician
by Marsha Walker
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2016

Fears about Your Baby’s Sleep Many parents feel anxious when the baby is sleeping.

“Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby” by Deborah L. Davis
from Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby
by Deborah L. Davis
Fulcrum Pub., 1996

Anything in your baby’s sleep environment that is not dull (toys that make noise or light up, mobiles) is counterproductive to your sleep goals.

“Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents” by Alexis Dubief
from Precious Little Sleep: The Complete Baby Sleep Guide for Modern Parents
by Alexis Dubief
Lomhara Press, 2017

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

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131 comments

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  • I’ve seen mom’s speak about this method on their blogs and everyone praises them for it. I understand why some people might think this is a bit harsh, but why praise the moms and bash the doctor? Bash them both if you want to go that route, or praise them both.

  • Don’t talk to them, don’t sing to them what the heck!!! Babies don’t need only to be fed and changed!!!what about their emotional needs!!! What is the message that you are trying to communicate to your baby!!! I am emotionally unavailable!! And I will never be there for you if you need me!
    I watched this video out of curiosity as it was recommended to me but what a waste of time…this video is pur garbage, saying this as a mother and as a psychologist.

  • This is horrible. I’m 24 and don’t sleep through the night. Sometimes I need comfort from my husband or a drink because I’m thirsty. To the mamas watching this in desperation I see you. I feel your tiredness. There are things to help you definitely shouldn’t be up every 45 min but please know you don’t have to follow this guys advice. It’s ok to comfort your baby or hold them as much as you want. I have a YouTube channel or Instagram if you want to connect about sleep @kristen.lemmon

    Just a mama not a sleep consultant or anything

  • This is so cruel. Doctors clearly care more about pleasing tired parents than about what is best for the child. Do you think it’s natural for a child to learn to self soothe before they can fend for themselves? Why? The baby is crying for a reason they need a lot of physical touch and affection, they need assurance they are protected and cared for by their parents. It’s not a trick to keep you up…

    Psychologically this sort of thing causes so much damage. It’s really awful what you’re teaching.

    You think your baby actually learns “oh! I get it. At night, they will come to feed me and if there’s a ‘REAL’ emergency, but they won’t hold and comfort me, because they want me to learn to self soothe!” NO! Your child learns “my parents will not be there to give me affection and I cannot rely on them to comfort me.”

  • My son is 6 months. And when he wakes he is actually hungry. He sleeps through until 5 am some days then others he will wake 2 times. He wakes up out of sleep and realizes he is hungry. What can I do for him? I don’t want him to be hungry. But I also know for a fact he can sleep until morning.

  • Neglecting your child at night because their crying is so wrong!!! Look up the stress levels that is so bad for their small brains ������

  • Even the name Training tells you how wrong it is!!!!!!!!!!!!! You think your child is yours and you can do whatever you like? Train like an animal? Even animal doesn’t deserve to be left crying Alone!

  • It is totally wrong to suggest “training” even for 4 month old baby and say that it’s okay to let them cry for 30 minutes or an hour. No pediatrician would suggest or allow it. Baby isn’t crying for no reason. Crying will demage so many things in brain it will never recover. This video content is very incompetent and wrong! Am so sorry for your baby, who has to suffer through crying because you wanted to have a little bit more sleep!

  • I am delivering my 4th child in 6 weeks and i feel so much more prepared this time around because of the advice you have given. Even though i am alone and my husband works out of state i know if i use those techniques instead of screaming and crying and freaking out…i will rock this L nD!!

  • Love your teaching method! Thank you for this video i cannot afford the taking cara babies class and this was so helpful..also thank you for teaching me how to breathe during a contraction to get the best results from our surges

  • Hello, I encountered the problem of my child not sleeping at night and I found the solution on this website: https://ipresto-home.blogspot.com/ and also I wrote to them on this email: [email protected] outlook.com

  • At what age can you start sleep training. My baby is still a very new newborn. I know that sleepless nights are normal, but he just wants to feed constantly every evening and I’m at a loss for what I should do to break this habit.

  • Hi Bridget! Thank you for your super informative videos!:) About the sound machine, do you start using it right from the start when baby’s still a newborn? Is it better to only use it at night or also during naps?:)

  • Hi
    Your video is super helpful. My baby is 4 months old. Also, I have learnt that we shouldn’t wake in the night time to feed. Is that true? I tried him not feed at night but it looks like he was hungry at night and I had to feed him. Please let me know how to work on feeding at night time.

  • Thank you so much for all your videos!! I followed your videos through my pregnancy and they were so helpful. Now baby Adam is here and he’s only two weeks. Still soaking in all the info you provide to make sure I can be a great mommy. Thank you for all the grateful tips!

  • Hey Bridget! I love your videos. I am pregnant and wondering are there any books you recommend for creating healthy sleep for babies?

  • I CANNOT BELIEVE PARENTS HAVE DONE THIS THINKING IT’S A SCIENTIFIC METHOD.

    “To put the baby to sleep, you shouldn’t hold, sing to, rock, or caress them. Simply put the baby to sleep without touching them, say goodbye to them with a few words, and turn off the light when you leave the room.”

    The same author has announced NOW that studies have shown babies under 6 months old, breastfed CANNOT sleep through the night, they are hungry and need their mother.

    Cry is the only thing babies have to call for help and someone published a book saying you should not respond to the basic instinct of holding your baby crying for their mom. MILLIONS of copies were sold.. I see this method recommended and taught by YOUTUBE moms every day.

    Now, these babies are adults and you start to see the consequences of this “method”[email protected]

  • Many thanks, I been tryin to find out about “best ways to make a baby sleep” for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about Qeysaiah Baby Bangka (just google it )? Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my co-worker got excellent success with it.

  • This is incredible nonsense. I’ve never sleep trained and don’t intend to. But she’s babbling about ideas and opinions. The fact that you have to buy her book to find the “research” tells me that she’s spouting a tiny bit of quackery.
    “Babies shouldn’t experience cortisol”. Well, if a baby isn’t “experiencing” cortisol they have a serious adrenal glad issue and have no circadian rhythms whatsoever. If you oppose sleep training, fine. Don’t act holier than thou and vomit this nonsense to already guilt-ridden parents.
    So incredibly sad.

  • Hey Bridget, you’re simply awesome ��
    So my baby and I are not there yet, he’s almost 4 weeks old and going through the 3 weeks growth spurt so he’s nursing a LOT and cries out loud quickly when he wants to eat.
    I feel exhausted at times but can’t always manage to eat something/use the bathroom/take a shower.
    You said we can’t spoil too much a newborn.. but is it okay to let him cry a little while I do one of these basic needs? Any alternative?

  • So my little one was born May 30, 2020 and shes a baby that is easily startled and doesnt like to be startled at all she even scares herself it’s hard to put lay her down, change her diaper, etc. How can I make things easier for her especially diaper changing she literally screams bloody murder during every diaper change she doesnt like it at all any suggestions

  • i am a new mom and have 6 weeks old baby.my baby takes cat nap all day long for like 5-20 minutes and sleeps like 7-8 hours at night including Feeding se ssion.she Doesn’t want to stay at her bed or crib. Always wants to be held on arms and keep moving. And cries and fusses a lot frequently. It seems she wants to sleep or feeling sleepy but wakes up instantly.i can’t swaddle her as its very hot here and she doesn’t feel comfortable in swaddle. It has become very hard to maintain other chors during the day with this going on.how can i make my baby to take long naps for at least half an hour during the day..badly need help.

  • I love your videos and found some of them really helpful and empowering during my pregnancy, so thank you for that �� im concerned that some very tired and new mummas will see this video and think that they need to sleep train their baby. Sleep is developmental and babies will get there + there are things you can do to help your baby with sleep that don’t involve leaving them to cry. I just want to put that out there so people watching this know there is an option and you don’t have to sleep train if it doesn’t sit well with you x

  • I sleep train my daughter and it works perfectly fine. I was sleep trained as a baby and here I am living a perfect life ��‍♂️ it isn’t abuse. Hell my dog used to leave her puppies when they would cry out and they would just fall asleep. We aren’t dogs obviously but many animals do the same with their young it’s not uncommon

  • I heard that there was something called sleep training. It is supposed to help your baby to get on the right schedule when it comes to sleeping. I want to know if anyone has heard about this.

  • Hello! Do you recommend weaning night feeds (he will now turn 4 months old and weights over 18lbs, the doctor said it’s ok to cut it out, he would usually only wakes up once at night) and also cut the pacifier and the swaddle and train naps all at the same time? What do you think of transition swaddles?

  • Hi! Thanks for your videos!
    I have a five week old baby girl and have a question. She never falls asleep unless she’s on us or near us. Once she’s asleep she can sleep independently in her bed for naps and at night. Is it normal that newborns don’t fall asleep by themselves? Is that okay for future sleep training?
    Thanks!!!!

  • Im not a parent yet but I do want kids in about a year or so. To start at least. So Ive been doing my research on all sorts of things. I do have an almost 5 year old step son but he still sleeps in bed with my bf (we dont live together yet). I dont think that I would ever do that. Sleep training does seem to work for some people and some people also disagree. Im not sure yet what i’ll do but I love the idea of babies finding ways to self soothe and be independent. And i think its great when children can sleep in their own rooms and being secure that mommy and daddy will be a room away if they need anything. But its hard bc my bf wants our babies to sleep in bed with us. I guess we’ll see what happens. We have to compromise somewhere in the middle. I just dont want my kids to be too co dependent, more so as children.

  • Dear mommy,
    I am confused.
    I am used to falling asleep in your soft, warm arms. Each night I lay snuggled close to you; close enough to hear your heartbeat, close enough to smell your sweet fragrance. I gaze at your beautiful face as I gently drift off to sleep, safe and secure in your loving embrace. When I awaken with a growling stomach, cold feet or because I need a cuddle, you attend to me quickly and before long I am sound asleep once again.
    But this last week has been different.
    Each night this week has gone like this. You tucked me up into my cot and kissed me goodnight, turned out the light and left. At first I was confused, wondering where you’d gone. Soon I became scared, and called for you. I called and called for you mummy, but you wouldn’t come! I was so sad, mummy. I wanted you so badly. I’ve never felt feelings that strong before. Where did you go?
    Eventually you came back! Oh, how happy and relieved I was that you came back! I thought you had left me forever! I reached up to you but you wouldn’t pick me up. You wouldn’t even look me in the eye. You lay me back down with those soft warm arms, said “shh, it’s night time now” and left again.
    This happened again, over and over. I screamed for you and after a while, longer each time, you would return but you wouldn’t hold me.
    After I had screamed a while, I had to stop. My throat hurt so badly. My head was pounding and my tiny tummy was growling. My heart hurt the most, though. I just couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t come.
    After what felt like a lifetime of nights like this, I gave up. You don’t come when I scream, and when you do finally come you won’t even look me in the eye, let alone hold my shaking, sobbing little body. The screaming hurt too much to carry on for very long.
    I just don’t understand, mummy. In the daytime when I fall and bump my head, you pick me up and kiss it better. If I am hungry, you feed me. If I crawl over to you for a cuddle, you read my mind and scoop me up, covering my tiny face with kisses and telling me how special I am and how much you love me. If I need you, you respond to me straight away.
    But at night time, when it’s dark and quiet and my night-light casts strange shadows on my wall, you disappear. I can see that you’re tired, mummy, but I love you so much. I just want to be near to you, that’s all.
    Now, at night time, I am quiet. But I still miss you.

  • My baby is almost 1 month old. How do I get her to sleep in her crib or bassinet? She only wants to sleep on me. All she does is cry.

  • Just wondering how to approach baby through the night? My nearly 5mo old has been sleeping with me and wakes up every 1-3hrs (he nurses back to sleep). Do I do the time intervals again and again through the night? Thank you for your videos!

  • I think you should start addressing mommas AND daddys in your videos. A lot of the info you put in your content is stuff I want my husband to be watching and learning, as it pertains to him just as much as me. Just a thought. ��

  • I thought your channel was about natural and gentle approaches to childbirth and infant care. This content, where you are obviously on the fence about such harsh methods as “cry-it-out” sleep training, is incongruent with that aim. How disappointing.

  • You are such an amazing giver. I found your videos so helpful. And i am glad i found ur videos even though it was my last week of gestation. I gave birth and now my newborn is here by the grace of Almighty. So following u for the newborn care advices. Keep spreading such knowledge and love of birth. You are just amazing Bridget!! ♡

  • “I recommend following this guide if you want to learn how to put your baby to sleep quickly&safe: ileo.best/bsleep/9re it worked in 2020 for us, very well explained”

  • it’s hard to take advice from you because you are obviously okay with a baby sleeping in a swing, and that is completely unsafe. the AAP says babies should sleep alone, on their back, in a crib, pack n play, or bassinet. also, you recommended taking cara babies and she promotes unsafe advice as well.. i was really hoping to be able to take this advice, but it’s hard too. being a doula, you should know basic baby safety (preferably the aap), especially since you’re giving all this advice to new parents… if anyone needs a good safe sleep group so join where you will get evidence based support, join “safe sleep and baby care — evidence based support” on facebook. they are phenomenal. and please don’t let you baby sleep in a swing. positional asphyxiation can happen SO fast and a dead baby looks just like a sleeping baby, so you’ll never know until it’s to late ��

  • Man, lack of sleep and postpartum depression go hand in hand. My quality of life and mental health improved drastically when I started getting more sleep.

  • Hi there! Love your informative videos! About the white noise. Would this make them dependent on the noise as they get older? Or would it be something they grow out of? Thanks in advance!

  • Both my babies liked to fall asleep at the breast, so I would wake them a little before putting them down (kissing them, playing with their feet). Being a bit “milk drunk” helped them get right back asleep, but they were able to fall asleep on their own.
    The next trick was to use a white noise machine. Initially I would sit next to their crib so that they could see me, but the white noise was what made them drop off to sleep. If they got upset I would just reach in and stroke them (but not pick them up) until they settled again. If you sit just above their eye line it really helps, as it’s hard to maintain that gaze for very long, so you tend to close your eyes. Relatively soon after using this technique I was able to leave as soon as their eyes started to flicker, so they didn’t wake to find me suddenly gone.

  • I have done sleep training with Batya the baby coach after a horrible time with intermittent crying method… I feel coming in an out of the room confuses them a lot.

  • I dont understand this advice. How is letting a baby cry for 30 minutes-1 hour healthy??? I totally agree routine is key and white noise is super helpful in creating a sleep friendly environment but what is the problem with giving your kids time to go through all the huge milestones and sleep regressions and helping them fall asleep? They will sleep though the night on their own accord when they are ready and not a predetermined date decided by the parents. Shoot I dont even sleep through the night and I’m in my 30’s. I don’t know how anyone can expect an infant “learn” to fall asleep on their own.

  • Love your videos! My four month old puts himself to sleep on his own and was waking only two times but about three weeks ago starting going through a regression. Then he got hit with a cold, 4 month shots and teething �� so we’ve been waking anywhere from 2 to 5 times a night. My question is once he’s gotten through this cold, we’d like to start sleep training but our issue isn’t getting him to sleep it’s keeping him asleep. When he wakes up he always wants to be nursed despite not being put to sleep that way �� how long should we wait before picking him up, can we doing cio in the middle of the night?? Thanks so much for all your helpful vids!!

  • Hi Bridget, i just recently found your videos and im still catching up, I have 7 weeks left until my baby girl is due and your videos are so reassuring and informative ❤️

  • Can you make a “third trimester suggestions” video?
    Like exercises, things to do to prepare mind/body, etc. I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I’m curious what suggestions you may have:)

  • It can’t be right what feels so wrong…

    Please momas, trust your gut feeling and DON‘T LET YOUR BABY CRY!

    I love Briget and her work and I don’t want to say anything against her. However letting babys cry themselves to sleep is something that needs so stop! Falling asleep should be a peaceful experience and not be connected to feelings of anxiety, fear and despair ��

  • Thank you for a great video!
    My baby is 2 and a half months old and I can’t for the life of me get him to take napd that are longer than 1 hour no matter what I do. I turn on white noise, make sure the room is dark I even cover the upper half of the crib with a blanket to be sure that no light bothers him. Do you have a solution?
    (and another thing, he does this at least once a day, he turns away from my breast even though he is hungry, any thought there?)
    Thank you in advance for your help❤️

  • Hi, I have a few questions:
    1. My baby just turned 4 months on Dec. 1, and I started attempting to sleep train her a few weeks ago, implementing more of a routine but not full blown sleep training. She’s overall been doing pretty well, but she went from only waking 1-2 times a night to usually at least 3 now (my guess is 4 month sleep regression?), and the hardest thing is that she has been just stirring around and moving very often throughout the night, and the only way to help her go back to sleep fully is if I either put my hand on her face, put my cheek on her cheek so she feels my breathing (lol), or putting her back. She didn’t use to need that. It’s not that she’s full on crying, but she’ll start to make noises and won’t go back into the deep sleep state without me doing something to help settle her. Do you have advice how I can help her not to do that?
    I put her to sleep in her bassinet, but she sometimes will only settle if I bring her in the bed (I think she likes the soft mattress or something), so it’s like half the time she’s in her bassinet, half in the bed. We don’t have a crib for her yet, but we live in a one bedroom apartment so that makes things a little more difficult.
    2. My baby was a great eater, eating from both breasts during a feed and going 3-4 hours in between. But when she turned about 3 months, she started sometimes only eating from one breast per feed, other times eating from both per feed. But now goes shorter periods in between feeds since she often only eats from one breast at a time. I don’t know how to correct this, as I offer her both each time, and don’t want to fight her to get her to eat from both. So now I’m basically on demand feeding, which is fine but also makes things more complicated if I need to go out and do things because she doesn’t stay full as long and also I think it’s making her wake up at night cause she doesn’t get enough calories during the day (she’s gaining weight great though, she’s 17 lbs). Do you know why she could be doing this, and is there any way to get her back on a consistent schedule?

    Thank you!! Sorry that was so long

  • Hi Bridget, I love your videos and am learning so much! I just have a question about day time naps. When you sleep train, do you also do the same routine for day time naps? For example put a sleep sack on, use the white noise machine and make a dark room? And then for night time add an extra step e.g. bath time and book reading time to show them that it is night time and that means a longer sleep is required?

  • THANK YOU!!!! I’ve been wanting to know about sleep training!!!! I couldn’t find anything on it ������������ i loooove watching all your videos!

  • I have a new born 2 weeks old and a almost 5 years old, I’m literally loosing it through the middle of the night feelings. I’m glad about what you say about the newborns ��

  • This came at just the right time! I think my daughter is either teething or going through 4 month sleep regression or possibly both! Last few nights have been terrible! Thanks so much Bridget!

  • Can you start sleep training when baby is still sleeping in a bassinet in our room or do they have to be in their own room and crib before sleep training? We want to start because our baby has a hard time self soothing if she wakes in the night, but she’s still in our room and my MIL told me to wait until baby is in her own room.

  • This is a really good video, We tracked down an article about Biggest Baby Sleep Mistakes New Parents Make let’s see https://www.girlandpower.com/8-biggest-baby-sleep-mistakes-new-parents-make/

  • We coslept. Baby in the bassinet in the room. When they were 7-8months old, we put them in their crib in their own room. It was harder on our son than our daughter, but we let them cry for a few minutes each time, then calmed them back to sleep. They actually learned to go to sleep on their own. Due to house size and my spouse’s dangerous tools, all 4 of us are in one room again. The two share a full-size mattress on the floor, and my spouse and I share a queen size on a box spring on the floor. Occasionally, my 19mo son awakes and crawls into bed with us, but while the first few months of solo-sleep were hard, he only wakes scared a night ir two a week and goes right back to sleep. Sometimes, he’ll just move his pillow closer to our bed and I’ll rub his back, no cuddling needed. And my 3yo daughter wakes with far less nightmares.

  • “I recommend following this guide if you want to learn how to put your baby to sleep quickly&safe: ileo.best/bsleep/xRO it worked in 2020 for us, very well explained”

  • I have had one terrible sleeper and one amazing sleeper… And you know what I did differently? Not a damn thing! It is so important to not to judge other parents. Babies are not all the same… By a long shot…

  • I don’t know about you but every child I have cared for has a different cry for something is wrong and I’m just crying. Plus with all the child monitoring systems available I have never had issues with stress when baby cries before bed. My rules are communication, preparation, habit, and consistency. One baby just needed to be told that it was time and have three books read. Another cried until self soothing kicked in. Another played quietly until falling asleep with stuffed toy. Another bottle fed until asleep.

  • We were recommended “Graduated Extinction” (or the Ferber Method) by my pediatrician, but no one told us what to do when we got into the room how long to be in there, etc.

    It’s been two weeks and our 6 month old isn’t sleeping through the night yet.

    The first night we used the method was great; after only three cycles she slept until 6am (started sleep routine at 8:30pm), but nights after that we had bad night after night. Once we got to 15 minute intervals, she lost her voice, crying for what felt like 3 hrs straight. We stopped.

  • I was the worst parent by doctor standards. I just kept baby next to me and breastfed on demand. Putting baby in her bed made me nauseous with worry. I had three kids and they are all still alive and never had any smothering issues and only one fell out of bed once when I was wearing new polyester slinky pajamas. I threw them away and never had that problem again. Now, I did have the amazing ability to afford to be a stay at home mom with a laid back husband that didn’t mind sharing a bed with an infant until almost 3 plus our kids are all many years apart (they are now 14, 10 and 7 ) but I watch neighbors seriously struggle with this sleep issue and it’s shocks me how it destroys them and with more demanding husbands, their marriage. So many dumb guys don’t realize that being butt hurt because their wife won’t put out isn’t going to get them sex any sooner if they willfully ignore the underlying issues of exhaustion. With my husband nighttime was for the kids and then bedtime and after breakfast or lunch, (when you have more energy!) was for sex.

  • The grasp reflex present in the first 5-6 months of life, is a token of our primate nature; babies cling on to their caregiver and even sleep while being carried. Mammal babies aren’t left alone too long, and they have a natural fear of being separated from a caregiver, as they are vulnerable to predators and the elements. Why do babies and kids cry and wake up and beg to be in bed with their parents? Because they’re biologically programmed to want that, to sleep on comforting piles of warm bodies.

    Full regression is not my recommendation; that would be the naturalistic fallacy. However, fully denying nature altogether and dismissing it as irrelevant is as stupid as it is risky. As Carl Sagan said it, of course kids see monsters in the darkness when they’re trapped on their own in a dark room. How many decades of research will we need to understand the obvious?

    Very disappointed in the lack of evolutionary, developmental, and psychological aspects of this conversation.

    I guess it’s like circumcision; we’ll have to wait some more before common sense catches up with the remnants of thousands of years of self-hating culture.

  • My parents have tried all of these methods and they still can’t get me to go to sleep.

    They haven’t yet figured out that the “sticky” door hinges have actually been fitted with generators.

    SOON, THE BABIES WILL RISE.

  • Being non-parent and a college student I have plenty of time to decide which of these methods to use when having a child down the road. I can see the benefits in most of the approaches. With that being said, I too cringe at the thought of using the extinction method. I have recently taken a child psychology course where we have talked about how the pure extinction approach has been linked to attachment difficulties as a child. But like others have commented the risk of a serious issue occurring. Even if I chose this option in the first place I doubt that I would be able to follow through and I would end up making things worse. The approach that I found to be most appealing was graduate extinction. Even with this option of gradually increasing the time each night before entering the room and not picking up for comforting I think I will still find it incredibly stressful.

  • From a non-parent standpoint, and after asking my own parents I was not coddled as a infant/baby and I believe that children that are this young should not be coddled either. Granted they should be checked on in case something is wrong (Falling out of crib, diaper change, etc.) but other then those afore mentioned issues, the infant should be left alone to self-sooth just as I was a child. Coddling an infant could lead to continued hand-holding into there later childhood years which, in my opinion, will not benefit them as adults. Children who self-sooth, and aren’t coddled throughout their childhood have the interpersonal and life skills to succeed in the work force and or college.

  • What about letting babies sleep in the same room as their parents?  We did that with our kids, and it worked pretty well.  Because our bed is only a couple of feet away from the baby’s bed, we can easily sooth them, often without needing to get up ourselves.  Is there any data on how that sort of arrangement compare in effectiveness with the methods described in the video?

  • What about just bringing the baby into your bed? Because as you stated, I know of very few teens that sleep in their parents beds.

    The key to early parenting is get everyone some sleep, by any means necessary. It’s only temporary!

  • Not sure if it was, but if that last blank space was intentional, that was brilliant. Like, “Go to sleep, it’s okay.” Kind of like the end of that episode of “Off the Air”, Nightmares.

  • Would you go to another family member EG your husband or teenager if you heard them crying in the night? why not give the same respect/caring attitude to your baby/toddler????? no other animals won’t go to a crying baby why do we mother who go to our crying baby get shat on???

  • My baby boy is 4 months old & he sleeps in my arms… My whole body is in pain & I dnt know what to do to make him sleep in bed & still I can’t let him cry it out because I feel guilty & bad… HELP

  • Extinction (Called something else at the time Controlled Crying maybe?)

    Did this as a parent, knowing it was best for all concerned and it took about three nights. Though I did go in and check but no more.

    Didn’t find it particularly hard either (though the mother did) as it was a short term pain for a very long term gain for the child.

  • Wife an I have 3 daughters,2 1/2 18months and 6 months old.Did cry it out method and worked amazingly with all them..They cry intensely sometimes but they know were there, they all have the same routine every single night at the same exact times.They all know when its bedtime and try to run from us when it is lol, but they cried for about 4or5 nights less and less each evening than 4th or 5th night they went straight to sleep in a minute or less.I find it as a crock of crap that it hurts their brains and they get depressed later on etc etc.My daughters cling on to me and their Mom aka my wife and they smile every single time they see us and we love them so dearly and I think they recognize that more when their awake all day.I dont approve of what shes saying..Comfort your baby too much is when you cant get him or her to detach from you.We didnt do the cry it out method bc we needed sleep, we did it bc they needed to learn to sleep and when without continously needing us by their sides every night for the next 5 years.

  • part of the vehemence by some in support of their specific method is that fallacy that if another method is better that makes them bad parents.

    If what they did might be less than optimal some believe that makes them horrible parents and thus their method must be defended at all costs.

  • I’ve been very lucky to have 2 great sleepers…i know this…i credit it to luck and genetics, but i also did a few things that I feel helped. 1) My babies were ALWAYS in their own bed. 2) At bed time, my babies went to their cribs awake. 3) Their bedrooms were cold and dark and my babies wore sleep sacks. 4) If they cried, i would go reassure them every several minutes, but i never picked them up. 5) I used some sort of musical toy in the crib. 6) I stuck to a strict schedule.

  • Thank you for this informative video! Perhaps in a future video, you can discuss age appropriateness of each method and what can be considered realistic for healthy parent expectations.

  • None of this worked for my daughter, but serious sleep issues run in my family. I remember not being able to sleep all night as early as 5 years old. My little sister was born soon after, and my parents were so surprised at how soon she “slept through the night.” She didn’t. My room was next to hers, and I would go (quietly) sing to her until she went back to sleep. My daughter is 21 now, and her sleep issues are worse than ever. Trying to get a doctor to take it seriously is maddening. They all seem to believe that sleep hygiene is a magical ceremony that always works, and won’t even consider sending her for a sleep study or trying actual meds to help her sleep that aren’t antidepressants (those make her nuts, and she doesn’t have any mental illness. The drugs cause her to have mental illness-like symptoms).

  • My biggest concern with extinction would be, that I might be ignoring a serious issue or pain. If it were my child I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that, even if it were a relatively tiny risk. A baby is helpless. I couldn’t ignore it. But then, that’s why I’m not having children. Too many tiny risks like that!

  • You mentioned one small study that said there appeared to be no long term effects of the interventions used. Are there any more corroborating studies on the issue, or is this something that might need further research to replicate the results?

    I’m interested because my fiancée believes very much in always responding and coslept with her first child. Of particular concern to her was a study that appeared to show that infants who were left to “cry it out” appeared to have less oxygen delivered to their brains, and thus brain damage was a concern. Was there any basis for this?

  • When I was 7 I would wake up at 2 am and wait in the bathroom until the time I was allowed to go downstairs, which was 6 am.
    Now I am always tired no matter how long I sleep. I don’t know if they are related.

  • Doom and gloom! Please, new parents, it may not be so bad! ‘anguishing over one thought: “I’m never going to be well rested again”.’ There’s a problem starting right there. I’m sure many parents have lack of sleep problems, but they’re not inevitable, and, in my admittedly limited experience, can be caused by over-anxious parents. Anxiety is not good for sleep! I’d expect that solutions are as much about treating the parents as the children.

  • I sort of mentioned this in other comments but basically here is my thoughts on the process. I did what I felt was easiest on us as parents while still making sure we took care of our daughter and her safety being first concern. This coupled with my stance that I didn’t bother fighting with a child that can’t talk yet I decided to just go in there and get her back to sleep and sometimes sleep on the floor next to her bed just so I could get back to sleep. This made it easy in the end and I can honestly say I don’t think we had a hard time during this period looking back compared to some other people’s experience I have seen. This might be because my daughter was a calm baby or could be the fact I just took care of issues and accepted that was what I was going to do till I could communicate with her. Once she got older and understood ‘go to bed’ or ‘no’, I don’t remember the exact age, I then decided to ween her off doing stuff by walking in and asking questions then explaining to go to sleep because I need to sleep. Also I found this seems to solve itself a lot because as he said no teenagers are waking up at 2am crying and for that sake no 4-5 year olds I know of are either. This is my 2 cents.

  • Are we talking about infants or about toddlers and children?

    Because of course you should take care of your infant, once they are old enough to start understanding that crying doesnt earn them anything, like when they start acting independently, walking around and such, then you can show that crying doesnt earn them special treatment, and if the behavior continues up until they start learning speech, then you can LITERALLY explain to them that crying doesnt earn them anything, and start modifying their behavior that way.

    Granted, no one wants to wait three years for their baby to stop crying, but if its walking and talking, babies crying shouldnt be an issue.

    Ive always considered treating babies like PEOPLE instead of coddled objects of affection, is better, giving them the respect and teaching they deserve rather than wiping them under the rug.

  • I’ve always loved Crash Course and Healthcare Triage, but am a new working mom to a 10 month old, and thank you for making this video. It has been keeping me up at night (sometimes the baby and sometimes my own worries) that stress would negatively impact my daughter or that I’m spoiling or stunting my daughters brain growth. This helped me put it all into perspective, and as a sleep derived parent I needed to hear it.

  • I did the “graduated extinction” with my now 1 year old. I did this after MANY (6 weeks plus) sleepless and teary eyed nights (from both of us). This was my last resort. It was INCREDIBLY stressful for me, but believe it or not, it only took two-three nights!!! That’s it! This was around 8 months of age for him.

  • I had a fun bed time routine then after the final nightime feeding you put them in the crib awake. you sit by the crib and you can give them a kiss or cuddle but you don’t pick them up. they will cry but by night 3 my baby was asleep within 5 minutes and sleeps through the night every night

  • The problem is lack of good evidence on long-term psychological impacts. And no, age 5 isn’t long term. Not knowing doesn’t mean something is okay by default. It’s highly likely that there are some differences and impacts, even if we don’t know what they are.

    Here’s a referenced review piece critiquing the media’s apologetic approach to these topics, and improper interpretation of the research (some of which this video is guilty of):
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201407/parents-misled-cry-it-out-sleep-training-reports

  • I believe the strict pure extinction approach HAS been linked to attachment difficulties as children grow up though, or at least that was the latest research five years ago when I was in school. Even if that turns out not to be the case though, extinction makes me cringe because I always worry, “But what if this time the baby is crying because something is actually wrong? Like this time it’s not because they’re lonely or whatever, it’s because there’s a spider in their bed that’s biting them or something?” I feel like the graduated extinction approach where you at least go in to check that nothing’s wrong makes far more sense.

  • Graduated extinction is amazing when you’re on the other end of it, but in the thick of it, it’s torture! The thing that helped me was reading a small study that came out of Australia that showed there was zero cognitive difference between kindergarteners who were sleep trained vs. no sleep training. But there was a real difference with the mothers having more signs of depression for babies not sleep trained. But when your kid is screaming their head off, all you think is that they will grow up emotionally disturbed, you’re a failure as a parent, and every worse case scenario you can think of. It’s awful. I can see why people don’t do it, but on the other end of two weeks of living hell is SANITY! I had so many times I had playdates over my house, and it was nap time, and my mommy friends were shocked I just set my kid down in their crib and they’re happy to fall asleep on their own.

  • Listen to your doctor and your instincts and then do what’s best for your family. Don’t let anyone shame you and don’t shame anyone else.

  • One of my favorite doctors talking about one of my favorite topics WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!

    Pro tip: You can (and I would encourage you) to use extinction AT BEDTIME without ignoring all wakings throughout the night. Sleep disruption is largely linked to what happens AT bedtime. If your child falls asleep independently AT bedtime, you can still feed baby later in the night without re-establishing the sleep association you used extinction to break out of at bedtime. Why would you do this? Because:
    Full adherence to all-night extinction is UNBELIEVABLY stressful for parents
    All-night extinction will work but is a pretty crappy way to night wean a baby who is used to eating a lot at night
    Nursing moms may want to substantially improve sleep without fully night weaning due to concerns about supply

    Great video thanks for sharing!

  • I always figured we could run nursing homes in the cry-it-out method. Change them, put them in a diaper, give them a drink and then lock them in their rooms for 12 hours no matter what. I mean, they have no more needs than an infant and they definitely should have learned to self-soothe by then.

  • Good tips, especially on wake times! Though I would like to highlight that using a pacifier to fall asleep is still using a sleep aid (i.e. not independent sleep), where the baby might wake up if the pacifier drops off and he/she is not able to fall back asleep by him/herself without someone putting the pacifier back.

  • LETTING BABIES CRY IT OUT IS TEACHING THEM THAT NO ONE GIVES A SHIT AND THEY BECOME VERY INSECURE PPL. SEEN IT OVER AND OVER. MAKES VERY ANGRY CHILDREN.

  • Bed time is sleep time, once they are down don’t pick them up again, tune out the cry and go to sleep yourself. If you keep picking them up it will only make them want to be picked up more and more and you will never sleep again. All this crap about emotions and feelings i read needs to stop you don’t want a baby that grows up needy and weak. do the right thing and let them cry till there’s no cry left and you will have an emotionally strong and independent child witch god knows we are short of in this day and age. Thanks

  • Really can’t stand the relentlessly precious coddling of our kidsListen up dummies: there is NO evidence that allowing your child to become self-reliant for sleeping is harmful AT ALL and EVERY indication that you’re better preparing them for life if you do sleep train them. This nonsense has GOT to stop. But if you feel like your baby is gonna be irreversibly damaged and end up hating you and not ever have a loving relationship and score 100 points lower on the SAT, by all meansNEVER let them cry NEVER let them solve their own crises, NEVER let them learn independence. You’ll just be creating another entitled, useless weak minded generation. Congrats

  • Babies that rarely cry for no reason grow into adults with relatively high IQ; babies that cry incessantly grow into adults with low IQ. Does crying affect IQ? Does innate IQ affect crying? Is there no causality between the two? Who knows, but I suspect innately low IQ leads to crying (due to boredom) and incessant crying, in turn, probably adversely affects brain development.

  • I hate the “sleep training” methods. If parents read opinions of psychologists they would understand how bad leaving a baby to cry really is. We often think that feeding a baby and changing a baby are the only needs but they are not! Babies need to feel touched and kissed just like they need to eat and be changed. Don’t wait when your baby starts crying!

  • My LO cries on the way to the grocery store 45 minutes away from our home. According to this video I should have her sit on my lap on the way there as opposed to the car seat where she will suffer from abandonment.

  • I think we all still know very little on the subject and we speak a lot and make many assumptions… I don’t think she is necessarily right on everything

  • Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to my family members advising me to let my baby cry and not mollie cuddle him. But my heart never allows me to let him cry, as I know his only way of communication is through crying. They don’t cry out of spite, but because they have no choice.

  • Guess my mom was right. I always tell her to just ignore my little sister so she just cries her self to sleep. My mom always tells me she can’t ignore her. I get annoyed at her crying. I’m terrible at taking care of kids as I get frustrated easily and just ignore her crying.

  • Erika, it is clear from your demeanor that you have a deep well of empathy, and that you are a kind and caring person. I feel this may be clouding your judgment on the practical reality that new parents face.

    My wife and I have a 4 month old daughter and we have been extremely focused from the beginning on teaching her to fall asleep, and to stay asleep.

    We consistently did not react to every cry from the baby, largely because we learned that sometimes babies cry while they are fully asleep, whilst shifting sleep cycles! If a well-meaning parent intervenes, they’re actually walking up a sleeping baby, and that’s bad for everyone (including the baby).
    My wife and I always made sure that the baby was truly distressed before intervening.

    At 2 months, she began sleeping for 5-6 hour stretches. She would occasionally cry for a minute, and fall back asleep on her own.

    At 3 months, we stopped the night feedings (she’s really chubby and eats plenty during the day). Also, she found her hands and began sucking on them. She began sleeping through the night, but walking up a few times to have the pacifier popped back in.

    At 4 months, we felt she was ready for sleep training, since she was still waking up for us to pop in the pacifier a few times a night. We needed her to practice finding her thumb, and holding it in her mouth. We prepped her as well as we could, and now it was time for the final exam.

    We had her sleeping in her bassinet from the very beginning, so she felt comfortable there. She knew how to put herself to sleep, she knew how to suck on her hands to soothe herself without a pacifier. The stage was all set.

    The first night was awful. Our baby cried for an hour, but then fell asleep. She woke at her regular times, 3:30 and 5:30 (when we would ordinarily show up to give her the pacifier) but we did not intervene. Eventually she slept through until 8:15, and in the morning I was shocked to be greeted by a smiling, happy face. She didn’t seem affected at all by the previous night’s drama.

    On the second night, she cried for an hour and a half, but then slept through until 6:30. Again, smiling happy baby looking up at me.

    Tonight is the third night, and she went down without any drama at all. No crying!

    If this sticks, and she now consistently begins sleeping 10-12 hours through the night, what benefits does that bring not just to the baby, but to the entire family?

    Conversely, allowing the child to continue to require soothing throughout the night for an indefinite period of time, may create dependencies that will be extraordinary difficult to break later on. Listening to a baby cry for 90 minutes is hard, but I promise it’ll be even harder at an age where that child knows you’re in the other room, or screams out to you by name.

    Most importantly, I feel the love and attention that you show your child while they are awake isn’t going to be undone by a couple of nights of crying that ultimately lead to a months and years of restful, restorative sleep for the baby, and her entire family.

  • I don’t believe in CIO but my daughter is 15 months old and wakes 6+ times a night. I have several migraines a week, severe post natal depression and anxiety and our life is falling apart around us so what do we do??

  • You said more so for less than 6 months old. My son is 1 and he will not sleep unless rocked/bounced with a bottle. He must be fully asleep before I put him down otherwise he stands up and screams. He wakes up 5 to 10 times a night. Nothing will stop his crying except being rocked and sometimes may need another bottle. How do I break this? How can I put him down awake? There is no soothing him and putting him down he just screams if I leave him awake.

  • Girl stop this is not evident base this is something you just came up with. If the child had had all needs met it’s ok to let them cry. Why would a child be frightened there is a such thing as attachment and spoiling kids.

  • A horrible industry, sleep training, it is detrimental to babies!! You don’t train them to eat or walk earlier than they are ready and supposed to do it, why wouldn’t we pay just as much attention and respect to their psychological and emotional development?! Their mental health on the long run isn’t just as important?

  • I dont let my baby cry and i respond to her cues right away. Shes almost 6 months old and sleeps from 7-8 pm all through the night til 6-8 am

  • I have the hardest time taking advice from someone that clearly isn’t going through the thick of sleep deprivation. My first baby was a decent sleeper and I didn’t let him cry it out. But baby number 2 is different… he’s 8months and simply won’t sleep on his own. I’m working on an adjusted cio method because I am not a functioning mother anymore. I let him know I’m there for him but have to let him learn that sleeping on his own is ok.

  • I just want to give another perspective with updated studies. I think it’s important to remember that you know your baby best. Every baby has a different temperament with different needs. https://youtu.be/PAQ-UPWrqJ8

  • I myself have two kids and with both of them i had to walk and comfort them to sleep from the day they were born i used to wake up 2 3 times a night maybe more. I believe this is what it means to be a parent you need to take care of your child i could not stand it watching my baby cry to sleep it hurt me.
    I agree with everything she says in this video.

  • You know all I hear nowadays is dont let your baby cry it out or let him cry it out omgosh crazzy i have 3 kids and 2 of my kids never really had problems sleeping and my last son just is very clingy he is 1 years old I have to get up at least 5 times a night to comfort him and I do and make sure his needs are met but I will tell you I’ve been using the cry it out method and it does help little by little but I go a check on him a lot and finally he gets the picture and goes to sleep my mom is 66 years old all my brother never cried it out and I didn’t either 2 of my brothers hardly come around and my other brothers are here with my mom and me as well so when they say if you let them cry it out they will be more independent later in life and not come around well that’s crazy it has to do with your whole child hood my opinion when we are a little baby like that we are not gonna remember 20 yrs later so come on peeps

  • Crie it out method is good for the selfish and lazy and stupid mother, why? ANSWER:
    When the baby cries: father, mother and baby aren’t happy, if the mother take care of her right away, only the mother isn’t happy. Another thing: all’s the animals on the planet take care of theirs baby ��. Why not you.? DO NOT BELIEVE ALWAYS WHAT THE ETUDE SAID.

  • I wish my mother in law would see this, all she says and my own brother is that I’m spoiling my child and that she will never leave my side if I keep responding to her cries, when I actually learned that there is so such thing as spoiling a baby, you’re responding to their needs as a BABY not a 5 year old that’s throwing a fit. I love seeing the evidence like this video so I have a smart way to respond to their Ridiculous remarks ������

  • I have a friend with grown male children. She is in her 50’s. She did not do the cry it out with her first, but she did with her second child. Now the first, is still attentive to her and sympathetic, the second distant and emotionally detached. She blames it on the cry-it-out she used on him. It took him 4 nights of crying most of the night to finally stop it. She reports it was the hardest thing she ever did. Now she regrets it.

  • To DandySpeedyAndy My parents used the ‘Cry it out Method’ on the 3 of us, as children. I can tell you that what she says is absolutely true.

    My mother, now in her 80’s wonders what she did to her children that they are so ‘independent’. She would like much more from them that what she gets.

    I myself see that compared so some other adults, we do leave her much more on her own that other grown children do with their parents. There is a detachment.

    It is very true, the emotions kind of shut down. Sure, we still did as we were growing up, just as you describe your daughters doing, smiles and love, but there is something, that shuts off. You will see this later in life when they are no longer dependent on you.

  • Baby is going on 6 months, every time he has cried at night my wife or I have picked him up or she’ll feed him if need be. We can’t set him down without him crying, he has to be held constantly. We can’t get any sleep bc he wakes up 5-10 times per night. Which once held he instantly falls asleep. We tried the cry method and it was rough but after crying for an hour or so he slept all through the night!

  • Ahhh yes, the weakest parenting generation in the history of the world now raising the most coddled, least self-reliant and most entitled and aggressively over-indulged generation in the history of the world. God god, people.

  • I have found in my experience in having two kids now 6 and 8 years of age in reducing the stress of bed time and staying asleep is having a regular schedule of afternoon naps. Not for the kids but the parent. My personal studies have shown that a routine of daily naps for even ten minutes day can greatly reduced the stress and long term trama of realizing no matter what you do the baby is going to sleep when it wants to sleep and be awake when ever it it lest convenient for its parental unit.

  • I dont agree. My parents used that method with me and im not emotionally detached at all. However, i do agree that if the baby is too youn then it isnt a good idea to do so. All i can say to everyone who doesnt agree letting their children cry it out occasionally is ok: good luck with having a needy and greedy toddler who has no idea how to fall asleep on their own and has no back bone������

  • Crying it out is nothing more than a routine introduced to make it easier for tired parents. Common sense bolstered by the latest research clearly says abandonment parenting is harmful.

  • Thank you so much for making this video. It really breaks my heart when I hear neighbor’s “sleep training” their babies. I once heard a baby cry for hours just across the street in another house (that’s how loud it was!) I’m not sure it was sleep training, but I suspected it was because that’s a common practice where I am. I hate to think of any infant having to suffer that. I was actually advised to let my baby CIO by a doctor; thank goodness my maternal instincts told me otherwise.

  • I was saddened by the fact that you made no mention of the AGE OF THE BABY when using the methods or the ages of the babies in the studies. To me that is a HUGE importance.

  • I believe this to be partly true, however families need a balance. An adult’s and baby’s mental health are equally as important, not one more than the other. The baby needs to be calmed to avoid negative psychological impact. The adult may sometimes need to step away, to keep from becoming frustrated and angry with the baby. And taking care of yourself does not, in anyway mean you are causing detachment issues in your child. As a mom myself in the past 3 months, I have come learn balance is of utter importance to not our the adult, but the baby. The more calm and collected I am, the better and more efficiently I can soothe my baby.

  • Kinda of late to the show here, but: I often try to look at what is best based on evolution. As in, what method did we evolve using? In this case cribs and separate rooms for the baby to sleep in are relatively new. I believe the first crib came around in the 19th century? Before recent times families were not wealthy enough or had the space for the baby to sleep separate from them. It would seem we evolved having our babies close to us at all times, even during sleep. Hell, there was a long stretch of time where having a baby cry for extended periods was downright dangerous to attracting predators (both animal and human). Now that we have the wealth and square footage to allow babies to sleep by themselves, is that right? A question I don’t know the answer to but I tend to favor the method we evolved using.

  • My daughter is just 7 months and I don’t want to harm her, psychologically, long term by following methods that have been deemed socially correct. I want what’s best for my daughter, long term, and this video has given me reason to believe that crying it out is NOT the best method. My wife and I will nurture and comfort our daughter, not ignore her.

  • Hmm not sure how I feel about this yet, I’m a new father and my wife and I do tons of research, probably too much sometimes if such a thing. And so far the crying it out positives outweigh the negatives (or possible negatives). We are open to anything that will keep our baby as healthy as possible physically, mentally and emotionally. We’ll be looking into this more but as of now the crying it out method will be tested out soon with us.

  • BULLSHIT!! DONT BELIEVE WHAT THIS WOMAN IS SAYING!..
    Babies dont think like that all they know is the routines they are used to. They don’t know how to deal with tiredness and used to being soothed to sleep. I have a 7 month old baby and we have been doing sleep training for about 4 days now. He now sleeps throughout most the night and wakes up happy as ever and has become alot more energetic. The crying times greatly decreases on each day and it does get easier. Our baby has no medical problems and during the process we have not seen any negative changes in his behaviours to be concerned about. Take my word for it… IT WORKS! It will benefit your baby to become more secure in themselfs because the truth is relying on security can only make yourself feel insecure and its not a problem if you know your baby is in a safe enviroment and watched over.

  • Please cite your (evidence-based) sources to back up the claims you are making. I am doing research to help me make a decision whether to try the cry it out method and I would appreciate some proof from both sides as both are making opposing claims. Thanks in advance

  • The first thing sounds good to me, Teaches a baby that the world is horrible and they need to fend for themselves. Second thing isn’t so good but also doesn’t seem likely. I understand that the babies are frightened but the sooner they learn to get used to fear the better they will be I believe.

  • What happens that even baby was comforted still crying relentlessly.. will have this the same damaging outcome? I mean nurture and trying to comfort the baby is being done however the baby still doesnt calm down

  • I have yet to hear anyone address the same stessers taking place at nap time. The hell some babies and children go through every time they are put in their bed. Too much time in the crib where they are trapped. Thanks for the video.

  • “I recommend following this guide if you want to learn how to put your baby to sleep quickly&safe: tinpix.best/Bslep/rub3 it worked in 2020 for us, very well explained”

  • I heard that there was something called sleep training. It is supposed to help your baby to get on the right schedule when it comes to sleeping. I want to know if anyone has heard about this.