How Spouses Argue Associated with Physical Affilictions

 

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How spouses disagree may predict which ones are more likely to develop certain ailments down the road, new research suggests. Analyzing 156 older couples over 20 years, scientists found that patterns of angry outbursts raised the risk of heart problems, while emotional withdrawal or “stonewalling” could lead to musculoskeletal issues such as back pain or stiff neck. How Spouses Argue Linked to Physical Ills How spouses disagree may predict which ones are more likely to develop certain ailments down the road, new research suggests.

Analyzing 156 older couples over 20 years, scientists found that patterns of angry outbursts raised the risk of heart problems, while emotional withdrawal or “stonewalling” could lead to musculoskeletal issues such as back pain or stiff neck. How spouses argue linked to physical ills. Emotional withdrawal or “stonewalling” could lead to musculoskeletal issues such as back pain or a stiff neck, a. How spouses argue linked to physical ills. by Maureen Salamon, Healthday Reporter (HealthDay)—How spouses disagree may predict which ones are more likely to.

TUESDAY, June 14, 2016 (HealthDay News) How spouses disagree may predict which ones are more likely to develop certain ailments down the road, new research suggests. Analyzing 156 older couples over 20 years, scientists found that patterns of angry outbursts raised the risk of heart problems, while emotional withdrawal or “stonewalling” could lead to musculoskeletal issues such as. TUESDAY, June 14, 2016 (HealthDay News)—How spouses disagree may predict which ones are more likely to develop certain ailments down the road, new research suggests. More information How Spouses Argue Linked to Physical Ills | HealthyWomen.

Thus, when a spouse has an ongoing physical ailment, it is critical that both husband and wife work together to meet the challenge. Additionally, research shows that couples who maintain a good relationship in the face of chronic illness accept their situation and learn effective ways to adapt to it. If You Argue a Lot.

Every relationship has its spats, but the way you argue with your significant other could make you sick. If loud, angry outbursts are your arguing style, watch out for heart problems and elevated blood pressure down the road. If you tend to silently fume or stonewall your partner during arguments, it could turn into a pain in the neck — literally — or stiff muscles and a bad back, according.

Every year, millions of couples come face to face with a serious illness. A new diagnosis — whether it’s Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, heart failure, kidney dysfunction or another major medical condition — is life-changing for both of you.Yet research reveals that the needs of the well spouse are often overlooked, just when he or she needs the strength to support a partner in new ways. I looked for secular resources for spouses of the mentally ill.

I went to a local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) support group, but it consisted primarily of.

List of related literature:

Each spouse is instructed to be concrete and specific in describing behavioral excesses and deficits.

“Comprehensive Handbook of Cognitive Therapy” by Hal Arkowitz, L.E. Beutler, Karen M. Simon
from Comprehensive Handbook of Cognitive Therapy
by Hal Arkowitz, L.E. Beutler, Karen M. Simon
Springer US, 2013

The power deficit hypothesis of marital violence suggests that people become violent when they perceive themselves as lacking power in the relationship (Babcock et al., 1993).

“Family Communication” by Chris Segrin, Jeanne Flora
from Family Communication
by Chris Segrin, Jeanne Flora
Taylor & Francis, 2011

For example, we play out an argument between spouses in which a wife criticizes her husband for spending money at a gentleman’s club, he responds with irritation at all the money she spends on clothing and makeup, and so on until their voices reach a crescendo, at which point the husband turns to strike his wife.

“Relational Being: Beyond Self and Community” by Kenneth J. Gergen
from Relational Being: Beyond Self and Community
by Kenneth J. Gergen
Oxford University Press, 2009

Once again, the argument is that the spouses move further apart psychologically and come to believe that the other spouse is becoming more adversarial, uncaring, hostile, and selfish—which, in turn, creates more adversarial behavior.

“Divorce and Family Mediation: Models, Techniques, and Applications” by Jay Folberg, Ann Milne, Peter Salem
from Divorce and Family Mediation: Models, Techniques, and Applications
by Jay Folberg, Ann Milne, Peter Salem
Guilford Publications, 2004

If couples view arguing as positive, believe they are making progress toward resolution, avoid enacting destructive argumentative patterns (e.g., mutual attacks), and reinvest in their relationship after an argument, there may be less relational harm and possibly even relational enhancement.

“Encyclopedia of Human Relationships: Vol. 1-” by Harry T. Reis, Susan Sprecher
from Encyclopedia of Human Relationships: Vol. 1-
by Harry T. Reis, Susan Sprecher
SAGE Publications, 2009

Other couples do not argue because one half is so eager to help the other grow that they almost become a personal therapist or guru.

“I Love You, but I'm Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship” by Andrew G. Marshall
from I Love You, but I’m Not IN Love with You: Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
by Andrew G. Marshall
Health Communications Incorporated, 2010

In other words, it can be healthy for couples to argue or to disagree.

“Handbook of Positive Psychology” by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez
from Handbook of Positive Psychology
by C. R. Snyder, Shane J. Lopez
Oxford University Press, 2001

Whether this is due to family-of-origin issues, gender stereotyping, or an imbalance of income that the spouses generate for the family, it seems that the more powerful spouse dominates the discussion while the less powerful spouse always gives in.

“An Introduction to Marriage and Family Therapy” by Lorna L. Hecker, Joseph L. Wetchler
from An Introduction to Marriage and Family Therapy
by Lorna L. Hecker, Joseph L. Wetchler
Haworth Clinical Practice Press, 2003

During a discussion of an ongoing marital problem (e.g., money, in-laws, children, household responsibilities) a few minutes after this first task, wives who had previously participated in the negative interaction displayed a significant increase in HRV while discussing the issue.

“Designing Positive Psychology: Taking Stock and Moving Forward” by Kennon M. Sheldon, Todd B. Kashdan, Michael F. Steger
from Designing Positive Psychology: Taking Stock and Moving Forward
by Kennon M. Sheldon, Todd B. Kashdan, Michael F. Steger
Oxford University Press, 2010

If arguments don’t become less frequent, less intense, and shorter, partners would do well to see what they’re doing to keep resentment present and listening absent.

“The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships” by Michael P. Nichols
from The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships
by Michael P. Nichols
Guilford Publications, 2009

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • Hi everyone, it looks like we made a mistake. Our apologies! Please note that the fight-or-flight response is characteristic of the sympathetic, not the parasympathetic functioning of the autonomic nervous system. Thanks to those of you who also flagged the error. We’re working on updating the video.

  • I really like the content of this channel, but I wanted to know the references for these information. Are there any papers or research in the topics that you pass on? I wanted to read them

  • Was surprised to hear about the fight flight or “freeze” response. First time hearing that and I do freeze a lot. A lot of people have ptsd and don’t even recognize. I had to hear from someone else in the medical field. Ehh it’s nice to know now that I can recognize some of my behaviours. I like to talk about it now that I was diagnosed a few years ago, it was a fluke I was just talking about my story and upbringing and bang. I

  • I’ve been abused as a child, I’ve been beat up by a group of guys, I’ve done the beating, I’ve been shot at, I have been hit by cars, I have been left by everyone I thought cared. I have been in the juvenile system. I’ve been in a mental hospital. I lost both my daughters, Point is I have many PTSD triggers I just want you to know you aren’t alone reach out your hand and ill reach back and pull you back up to your feet we can help each other walk the rest of the way.

  • I have experienced a lot of traumatic Experiences in life giving me sever flashback and traumas to many things including noises and loud Audios. Even though I am in a deep sleep my body feels like 100% ready for an extreme adrenaline that even a single sound can wake me and make my heart to beat fast, muscle stiff and feel like I am ready to run and survive. The bad thing is that everytime I hear loud noises while I sleep, there are times that it synchronizes to my dreams and it is creating bad nightmares like War, volcanic Erruptions and Earthquake… It’s just sad that I don’t even have the ability to get diagnosed for it is expensive or to seek help. Nobody knows what I am going through and still joke about me being paranoid to loud sounds ������

  • I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd and I can’t reach out to swipe my card at a cash register without my hand involuntarily getting shooketh. I don’t think ive had any trauma related to cash registers, but I do know that people don’t like talking to me at the gas station anymore.

  • I don’t know if i have ptsd or not, but sure there is a few things in my life based on my experience that makes me avoid it at all cost.

  • I had a neighbour who would repeatedly blast bass heavy music. He doesn’t do it anymore though, I think he’s been silenced. But now whenever I hear low freqency sounds, doesn’t matter what it is, I think it’s him staring up his music again and I get all anxious untill I find the source of the sound. I HAVE to be sure that it’s not him again. Is this PTSD?

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  • PTSD must be one of the most awful mental disorders. You believe it’s all over, but then realize it’s not and that you still have a long way to go before healing completely.

  • please don’t use this kind of animation style anymore.

    why? Because it’s stressful, and some of us are a lot more sensitive than the others. People with PTSD and/or other mental problems might come here to seek help, to discover how can they deal with it better. And they’ll see this, which might in the best case stress them a bit, in the worst trigger something very bad. I understand that the artists tried really well, and I’m not going to deny they did a good job. But these visuals might actually be harmful. Please, if you can, stop using them. Please, use something a lot more safe, soft and welcoming. Even though we’re talking about a serious mental problem we want to help them, not to stress them even more, right?

  • This is more about “how” and “what” couples fight about, not really why they fight. There are different theories about thy “why” and I was expecting a related discussion here.
    Still, I love your shows, Venessa.

  • I just had a trigger last night and couldn’t sleep the whole night, I was harrassed at a very young age for years and that left a huge impact on me the symptoms you mentioned I had a few of them like lack of sleep, increased heart rate,difficulty in breathing and fear. It’s just so hard for me I wish I could just erase it all

  • I was 12 when war started in Syria, I’m now 21 and the worst PTSD is this haunting thought that my youth was wasted in horrors and sorrows. Wasted..forever.

  • My PTSD still resurfaces from time to time after 45 years. My recurring nightmare stopped once I realized it was an actual memory. As long as I don’t talk about it, or dwell on the memory I am able to avoid the uncontrollable emotions. I pray that anyone with PTSD is able to find peace and serenity one day at a time.

  • This video truly represent the nightmares i had in my childhood…. Gives me goosebumps exactly the same feelings of sinking the entire earth or just getting huge and crushing my teeth while eyes are closed tight….. For a 2 year old it was crazy….. Really appreciate the creative team of this video ��

  • What’s fun is when you go to a psychologist and they diagnose you incorrectly and give you medications for all the wrong reasons, and create yet another PTSD situation.

    Go to a psychologist at your own peril.

  • I’m pretty sure I have some sort of trauma from my migraines. I get really spooked by floaters and I’ll often pause whatever I’m doing until it goes away, I hate certain patterns (it’s hard to describe, but anything with a sort of uneven checkerboard or psychedelic looking pattern? It’s fairly specific) I cannot drink room temperature water if I’m not thirsty because it makes me feel sick, and I hate swallowing pills. It’s not so bad though, so I’ve never tried to get a diagnosis or anything.

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  • I live a normal life without exclusive thoughts, until it’s night, that s when nightmares start, almost everyday making me wake up irritated and confused between dreams and reality.

  • I read something similar to this. Helped me alot and got my counseling done. I’m in a better state of mind. https://www.richpsych.com/blogs/understanding-trauma-and-overcoming-it/SUU5N0M2/

  • I’ve had a few traumatic experiences in my life. I was physically abused by my father, I lost my sister in a car accident, I’ve seen my father beat my mother and brother, seen my father have bad trips when he was on drugs, was in a car accident myself, and I found my mom dead in her bed after she took her own life. PTSD (or as I like to call it, Spicy Nostalgia) definitely affects me. I have nightmares and I’m really jumpy. Somedays the spicy is just a bit mild, and I’m able to function. But I do have my days where it’s MUY, MUY CALIENTE. I try and soothe the pain by talking to a friend or working out. It’s no cure, but it definitely helps!

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  • I know this was two years old but idc so I have C-PTSD (complex post trumatic stress discord) I want to tank you for making this video they showed this at my school because I had attack in class and now my life is so much better thanks to you everyone is more understanding
    (Side note my C-PTSD came from multiple dog attacks) C-PTSD definition Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (complex PTSD, sometimes abbreviated to c-PTSD or CPTSD) is a condition where you experience some symptoms of PTSD along with some additional symptoms, such as: difficulty controlling your emotions. feeling very hostile or distrustful towards the world.

  • I do not know how to deal with what I went through. I walk around with a great deal of anger. Some days are better than others. I have a son now but I don’t see my emotions getting more stable. I need help but don’t know where to start. Therapy was unhelpful and expensive medicine made it hard to do my job and think clearly. I am having a very hard time coping

  • Both me and boyfriend have ptsd..He’s helped me a lot and I think I’m mostly over with it now after many years but I’ve tried helping him which I’m unsure of his state as of now.
    Ptsd is hard to explain, especially when you don’t have the “typical flashbacks”. Mine is mostly emotion effected but I have my triggers that send me into a fight or flight or freeze mode, my boyfriend gets flashbacks sometimes and nightmares most nights (unsure if he’s gotten better about this) and is also effected emotionally. He jumps at certain noises and reacts out of instinct, if someone broke into our house I wish them luck on dealing with my boyfriend as he’d likely go into instinct infused ptsd mode which could kill them.

  • I can relate to the thing when it says you know your suppose to feel something but dont and act all the time and my heart dropped bc I related to it so well I’m scared for myself bc well yeah bonding the low feeling knowing I’m soppose to feel something

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  • Our whole society is traumatized from watching people being killed live on tv and the dark corners of the internet amongst other things.

  • How long after a traumatic event should you expect that fear/stress to go away? Once I had a fainting spell paired with confusion and weakness due to low blood sugar and pressure. It was so bad people thought I was having a stroke. It lasted quite a while and I was super scared. After that day, without my meds, when i got hungry at night I would start having panic attacks and have to eat to feel less anxious. On my meds it only happens occasionally. But I don’t get intrusive thoughts or flashbacks. I just start feeling this overwhelming sense of dread and fear and often become paralysed the moment I realise my hunger

  • My husband dont trust my advices and he blame me that because he followed my advice on an important matter i am the reason of his loss… he always wanna make me feel guilty for everything… he try to control my emotions and make me feel worthless but i will not let it happen! Inshallah may Allah grant me a better husband! Amen…

  • Cellular memory of psych trauma is limitless -Which is why psychological violence is worse than physical. https://youtu.be/hcdY3eXzHlc

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  • I believe in a parallel universe others are checking in on me, in this realm, im incredibly isolated & lonely. I literally have not been able to locate or obtain care, physical, or mental. Like everyone in the world around me, has just left me to die as I am and right in front of everyone. I do not want to give up.

  • Very, very soon, no one will say “I am sick” Isaiah 33:24“, soon these changes will take place on earth: Psalms 37:9-11,29; Revelation 21:4,5; Daniel 2:44; John 5:28,29. These are the last days of sorrows on the earth. Isaiah 55:11; Psalm 83:18

  • “Chronic illness is a world of loss.” Oh so brutally true with many physical activities, no matter how much you refuse to believe that or how positive your outlook, sometimes you have to just forget about doing things you used to take for granted. Could be as simple and mundane as being able to put your freaking shoes on; which can take hours, or days, or weeks. Never give up.

  • Stigmatized by a disease “only drunks get.”. I found out I have liver cirrhosis. Never did drugs or drink or smoked. Drs never pointed out the seriousness of fatty liver or why I had low platelets or elevated enzymes. I hope I can come to peace with this as it’s hard. It’s an epidemic and maybe people will stop assuming when it’s them or their mom or their brother.

  • Fibromyalgia, bursitis both hips degenerative disc desires temporal mandíbulas joint dysfunction ibs major depressive disorder ptsd anxiety panic attacks fatigue severe overactive bladder insomnia mild agoraphobia insomnia self love deficiency

  • Having an invisible illness sucks. Takes a long time to to accept, get over it (maybe you don’t) but there is always someone who is rooting for you to make it. Might not be someone you know. But just know there is a community of people just like you trying to make it too. S/o to all my spoonies, ibders ����Going into this year sick and in a flare but mentally better then I was last year and I hope all y’all are too. God bless ������

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  • When you are at school and your mind is working perfectly but your body is tattered from all your symptoms. It feels like you are trapped. Being a strong person in a weak body is infuriating.

  • Thank you so much. This is love and God bless whoever is there for you still because you are here for thousands who need to hear this.

  • i have a chornic illness
    cant have a job cant do anything
    someone give a way to kill my self and accept my fate
    i really afraid of death
    i hear that sleep pills is the best choise someone tell how much should i take and which brand

  • I’m chronicly ill, I can die because of lies/jokes/pranks, if anyone lies to me I will kill you. My life is more important. Then a sick joke.

  • The audience at the end: “Yay! Yay! You’re amazing, and we will accept you and accommodate you!”
    The audience the next day: “No, you can’t take tissues into the MCAT with you even if you have a deviated septum and allergic rhinitis.”

  • When she said that having not left her house for a week was a long time, I was like, “Oops! That’s not even why I’m listening to this but I’ve been afraid to leave the house for months on end!”

  • I have POTS and ehlers danlos syndrome as well as recently having a transplant due to ornithinetranscarbamylase deficiency. I have fought hard all my life to take care of myself and to live my life. The way people, even doctors treat you is ridiculous. Doctors going against your treatment plan or not listening to you. People thinking you’re contagious so they wont talk to you. It majorly sucks.

  • I have Sickle Cell Disease and have been suffering with it all my life. Frequent hospitalizations, pain crisis, iv’s and constant pain medication are regular for me. I’m 23 now and sometimes all I want is just to die so I can escape the pain and misery of having to be alive and dealing with my illness. So much of my strength and happiness has gone to dealing with my illness. It’s to the point where im afraid to sleep at night out of fear of getting sick.

  • If you have chronic illness warning you not to watch this. You already know what its like. You don’t need to start thinking negatively. Think postive thoughts invision you are light and healing every day. Don’t focus on your ailments, it will do you more harm being consumed with them in the mind.

  • After 25 years of Cronic pain.ive learned a way to ease my pain. I hope it helps you? Lay down in a quiet room.clear your mind and listen to your pain in your mind look at it like dust or somthing that needs to be washed cleaned from you…close your eyes find where the pain is.now soake a cloth in clean water and just wash the pain away remember its your mind brain thats creating the pain.wash it away like you would clean your windows.some times i use a shovel a brush what evef it takes.your mind can do great things.it might take a while to see results but its worth a go. Use what ever suits you.the power of the mind…their is records of many people who used this mind vision to heal themselfs of illness and remember you are never alone.those of us who suffer and understand what you are going through are praying for you.one day it will be a thing of the past you will sit in the sun and say i got through it and i am much stronger now to help others. God bless

  • I did three really important things for my disease prevention and overall wellness:

    I stopped chronically breathing through my mouth…big no-no

    I started using the BreatheEasy Lung Exerciser for inhalation and exhalation breathing therapy

    and I sleep with a small piece of tape over my lips to keep my mouth closed during sleep…stops snoring, apnea, dry mouth and more

    My chronic fatigue and asthma both are gone now and my outlook on life is exceptional because I’m sleeping better and have more energy. I’m 54.

  • I gave this video a thumbs up ���� and this comment! ���� Check out my Youtube channel friend. I was in a car accident that gave me chronic pain. While you watch my new video, please hit the thumbs up and write a nice comment too! I am sure if you are watching my videos, you are experiencing chronic pain as well. From me, a Youtuber, to you! See you around ������ Hugs.

  • This is awesome! All of our friends and family members should be required to watch this! Hashimotos, CFS, Hypothyroidism, Hypertension, IBS, TMJ, Depression, and a few more here! Where my peeps at!?

  • I have a wonderful husband that is taking care of me, I have invalidity pension, unfortunately no children, my husband has as well a chronic illness and we couldn’t take care of children and my illness is genetic and we had 50% chance to have a disabled child

  • 20 000 people contract chronic lymphocytic leukemia every year (CLLSLL). No cure, and extreme fatigue, leading to other chronic diseases. Fatigue management is the route to having a life.

  • If she continued to do all this to me
    I ll shove a magnum in her throat and blow out every thing that’s in there.
    THIS EXACTLY MY DEVIL WIFE DOES TO ME.

  • I have a long list of multiple chronic conditions (MCC) and a long list of medications I am on, as well as other interventions. It severely affects my day-to-day living and functioning. There is nothing out there for people with MCC who are not elderly. I have searched high and low. Yet there are millions of us out there. I had epilepsy from infancy to age 8, was diagnosis free until my later teens when I started to “collect” illnesses: chronic migraine, fibromyalgia, ibs-d, diabetes, gastroparesis, and the list goes on and on…

  • i used to trick my teachers by playing dumb/uncollected/forgetting lot of things, and they would see it as my personality and after some time i would get away with it most of the time without consequences, is that sociopath? ����

  • A beautiful lady. Thank you for bravely speaking up for those of us whose voices are silenced and those of us who are suffering invisible and chronic illnesses daily. I pray for everyone to experience total wellbeing.

  • i am a doctor, and i feel pain in my eyes every day, 365 days a year. Still i am specializing in Cardiology. It’s not easy but it’s probably the only option.

  • my baby sis has it and i can see that she is developing depression since shes had it.. i dont know what to do i just want to help her.. i feel helpless�������� someone help me pleasee. i also have anxiety so i overthink everything that is goin on in my mind with my sis illness

  • Sita, your TEDx just popped into my recommended videos, and I’m so glad it did! I was diagnosed with IP (also known as Intractable Pain) over 10 years ago. All of my pain stems from my back. I have no answers as to what happened to me. No one can help me. I can only take my meds to manage my symptoms. Because of this one chronic illness, I had the ability to become a mother ripped away from me. Even this many years in, I’m still not at that acceptance level yet, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get there.