How Marital Spats Affect Your Children


How Your Children Can Ruin Your Marriage

Video taken from the channel: Hasani Pettiford Infidelity Recovery Specialist


Staying Married for the Kids Joshua Coleman, PhD

Video taken from the channel: Kids In The House


Parental conflict: the impact on children

Video taken from the channel: IU Communications


Divorce, Separation: Love your Children no Matter What… | Herve G Wery | TEDxTruro

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


Are You Staying in a Dead Marriage For the Kids

Video taken from the channel: Jayson Gaddis


Staying in your marriage “for the kids”? Watch this

Video taken from the channel: Mel Robbins


The impact of divorce on children: Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks

“In families where the mom was showing signs of depression, dads on the other hand let the marital tension spill over, with the result being poorer interactions with their child, even on the next day,” Kouros said. The study shows that the quality of their marriage affects each parent’s ties with their children. According to Grych and Fincham (1990), children’s internal processing of marital conflict involves two steps: (a) children recognize that there is some sort of disruption and respond emotionally to it, and (b) children attribute meaning, understanding, causality and responsibility for the conflict.

For around 30 years, researchers have studied how having children affects a marriage, and the results are conclusive: The relationship between spouses suffers once kids. How Your Marriage Affects Your Children. This article describes the ways in which your marriage may affect your children’s behavior. The foundation of your relationship with your spouse could have a big impact on your child.

If they see the two of you getting along and supporting each other, they will mirror your behavior and will likely get along with friends and family. Explaining Your Marital Status To Your Kids. Explaining your marital status to your kids can be difficult when your relationship is breaking up. They don’t necessarily want to know what the legal status of your marriage is. Rather, they want to know what it means to them and how it will affect.

Fights happen. Big, real, I wanna-tear-my-hair-out spats can be a regular occurrence in a relationship. But working through them and staying together for the kids is, without a doubt, always the right move, says E. Mark Cummings, a professor of psychology and head of the Family Studies Center at Notre Dame.Learn how to handle conflict properly and your marriage — and your kids. When one or both partners make their children’s happiness a higher priority than the health of their marriage, they run the risk of neglecting the needs of the marriage.

If children are involved, the parent who spends the most time with the kids, or who provides their primary care, usually remains in the marital home with them. If you don’t have children and the house is the separate property of just one spouse, that spouse has the legal right to. Growing up in a toxic or abusive household affects you in a lot of ways — including in how you view your own relationships. As awful as it, being a victim of or witness to abuse between your.

If your sexual relationship problems can’t be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your.

List of related literature:

It increases couple reactivity to one another, conflict in the marriage, and the likelihood of couples taking personally issues related to the children.

“The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You Succeed” by Ron L. Deal
from The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You Succeed
by Ron L. Deal
Baker Publishing Group, 2011

Most marital spats are temporary, resolvable results of daily coexistence.

“Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love” by Ryan Frederick, Selena Frederick, Gary Thomas
from Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ’s Relentless Love
by Ryan Frederick, Selena Frederick, Gary Thomas
Baker Publishing Group, 2018

Having the child hang up the clothes after being in the house will not establish the correct association; learning, in Guthrie’s view, will occur only when stimulus (entering the house) and response (hanging up the coat and hat) occur together.

“Learning: Principles and Applications” by Stephen B. Klein
from Learning: Principles and Applications
by Stephen B. Klein
SAGE Publications, 2011

There is no question that affect is very much a part of behavioral approaches to marital distress and therapy.

“International Handbook of Behavior Modification and Therapy: Second Edition” by Alan S. Bellack, Michel Hersen, Alan E. Kazdin
from International Handbook of Behavior Modification and Therapy: Second Edition
by Alan S. Bellack, Michel Hersen, Alan E. Kazdin
Springer US, 2012

The relationship with the woman may become more attenuated and intermittent; the man may direct his attention more to occasional contact with the children and think of himself less as the woman’s regular boy friend, much as the ex-husband alters his role after separation.

“Behind Ghetto Walls” by Lee Rainwater
from Behind Ghetto Walls
by Lee Rainwater
Aldine Publishing Company, 1970

For one thing, it may end the constant tension or fighting between parents; and for another, it may leave you more emotionally available to your children.

“Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and the Pursuit of Thinness” by Margo Maine, Craig Johnson
from Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and the Pursuit of Thinness
by Margo Maine, Craig Johnson
Gürze Books, 2010

In this cross-sectional study of families with 20month-olds, it was found that mothers with higher marital adjustment expressed warmer attitudes toward their offspring, encouraged independence in their toddlers, and experienced less aggravation in caring for their children.

“Child Maltreatment: Theory and Research on the Causes and Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect” by Dante Cicchetti, Vicki Carlson, Cicchetti Dante
from Child Maltreatment: Theory and Research on the Causes and Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect
by Dante Cicchetti, Vicki Carlson, Cicchetti Dante
Cambridge University Press, 1989

This more general trend suggests that whatever effects separation has, it may be different for different children in different settings, causing some to express aggressiveness, others to display fear, and still others to find enjoyment.

“Psychology: Australia and New Zealand” by Douglas A. Bernstein, Julie Ann Pooley, Lynne Cohen, Bethanie Gouldthorp, Stephen C. Provost, Jacquelyn Cranney, Louis A. Penner, Alison Clarke-Stewart, Edward J. Roy
from Psychology: Australia and New Zealand
by Douglas A. Bernstein, Julie Ann Pooley, et. al.
Cengage Learning Australia, 2017

Unhappily married couples were found to endorse nearly every negative trait as characteristic of their spouses (the negative halo effect), whereas happily married spouses were found to endorse nearly every positive trait as characteristic of their spouses (the positive halo effect) (Nye, 1988).

“The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models” by John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, Catherine C. Swanson, Rebecca Tyson, Kristin R. Swanson
from The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models
by John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, et. al.
MIT Press, 2005

It humbles the soul and keeps you grounded, prevents you from becoming so myopic that you lose sight of the children’s needs or your spouse’s needs.

“Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits” by T.D. Jakes
from Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits
by T.D. Jakes
Atria Books, 2008

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • I don’t make a thing of telling people but sometimes it comes out that my parents are divorced while I’m in conversation, and then the other person will say “I’m so sorry to hear that” or say something like “Yes, it’s so hard on the children especially the children.” It gets to me. Every single time.

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  • I left and my kid has totaly changed for the better, he is more open, loves life more, more confidence, on all levels he has grown and still is, that was the best thing i ever done leave my dead relationship,me en his dad are getting along way better our friendship survived, we was just not ment to be a couple any longer, everything improved for us 3 the day we went our seperate ways the one who benefits the most from this is definatly kiddo, as he is a happy jolly little feller now!

  • Somebody help me, I feel stuck, I called every shelter possible in Atlanta, im tired my soul is tired with 3 kids i am very depressed young and stressed.. I feel like my life is over, I have not smiled in 9 yrs laugh on the outside cry on the inside, And my poor son I feel like a failure mom who cant walk away, I have no money at the moment because he is the bread winner which is why i feel stuck, If anybody reading this, Please say a prayer for me, My name is Caprice and i am crying out for help, I have been punched slapped spit on and i feel like i can kill him but look at my kids, The only thing that stops me.. I tried staying for my babies but it’s not worth it

  • Can we just take a second to acknowledge that some people are terrible. They can be petty, malicious, greedy, lazy, inconsistent and rude without ever becoming “abusive”. The chaos that people can cause is a real danger for children. Do we really want to teach children that they should put up with bad behavior indefinitely? Make our children life long victims? Sometimes people just need help. Counseling or group discussions could do wonders. There is only so much you can do and after a valiant attempt, you should be the final word on what is right for you and your family. A nasty and bitter divorce is hard on kids, but I’ll bet a nasty and bitter marriage is just bad. My parents have been married for 40 years and when my older brother was torn about what to do with his marriage and kids, they said: whatever your decision, we support you. It turn out that they both are better off, having remarried and had more kids with new partners. My niece is happy because everyone involved loved her and made her feel safe. It wasn’t easy, but doing the right thing never is.

  • Yes I make no excuses for that, they are grown up now, and its my time, not to walk away but to endeavour to find the man that is for me, you see I thought I had but he’s far away and it doesn’t seem like he’s coming any time soon

  • The ADULTERY is the real killer.

    Whether you believe in God or not the literal deed of adultery is “a sin which is unto death”

    1 John 5:16-17 & Corinthians 5:13 kJ-611

  • I am going through me and my wife are she left me and my little girl she’s eight and two months I came back try to fix it I got a rent

  • So tell the kids they are the reason you’re leaving. Tell them it’s their fault. Don’t own up and say it’s because our marriage isn’t working out and we need to see other people to be happy. Make the kids feel like jackasses, got it.

  • Oh, come and interview me. Mom divorced 3 men before I was 16 years old. She also wanted my opinion on possibly divorcing this latest husband.

  • The divorce my parents had affected my relationship life so bad but I got counseling and read books and I’m a new man today thank God

  • My parents are divorced and it’s been that way since I was 3! It’s been very very hard! My living experience is not that good bc of it compared to my friend with parents together! I’ve had to sometimes cry myself to sleep bc I can’t stop thinking about that! My parents don’t realize that I’m dead inside! They didn’t think of the rest of the family or how it may impact us or me for that matter!

  • My parents divorced when I was 6. I’m 12 now, turning 13 in 2 days, since I was so young I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. All I new was that my mom wanted to sleep in my bed at night. I would hear their fights. Now that I am older, all of the emotions are coming back. I HATE my dads girlfriend. But it’s not that I just want them to get back together because I really like my stepdad…

    But whatevs you can’t choose your life but you can make the most of it while you are hear…

  • So my parents separated when I was one but the have been married for 15 years and are now getting a divorce but I never really knew it had some sort of effect on me. I lived with my mom and my two uncles for twelve years and It was cool. My uncles were like my two other dads and I love them but one day I caught my uncle (moms brother) cheating but I never said anything and it just hurt because it felt like the pain that I wasn’t old enough to understand from my parents separation was coming back.

  • Smartness is important in marriage and in a relationship and I’m glad that cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone. I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all deleted and recent chats on his Whatsapp, Twitter,Facebook,Instagram messages and Skype. You can contact this great hacker “Gavin” via Gmail  (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146 and I hope you find peace with your heart after finding the truth.

  • What hurt me the most, ‘sniff..sniff’ were the elephant pants that lady wore!! WTF!! She could smuggle 100lbs of contraband in those things! Did she say to herself “Well now! This looks awesome!” Who can listen to her and focus.. when her pant legs are the size of oak tree trunks! Was there a sale at ‘Tents R Us’? Did the Boy Scout’s sell off tent material? Are those REAL parachute pants? I watched this and learned nothing but kept thinking…”My god..look at the size of those fuggin’ pants! “

  • My parents aren’t divorced but they often argue with each other. I thought I was the only one and I’ve never met a person who is going through the same problem as me.

    My mom stayed because she didn’t want her kids to feel ‘different’. I actually hope that they would get a divorce, after seeing everything that my dad did to her and the nonstop argument I have to listen to.

    Honestly this just traumatized me since I was a kid up till now. I’m 20 and I’ve never been in a relationship because of this. I never told this to anyone, even to my best friend because I thought that nobody would understand. They would joke about me having very high standards of guys and I would just laugh it off. I just think that it would be better if nobody knew about it.

    I think kids with these kind of parents would suffer more as we would listen to them arguing and watching bad things happen almost everyday. Neverending. It makes us have a very deep scar as we don’t know who to tell this to because it’s a rare family situation.

    After years, it feels good to just let it out even though idk who would read this. Thank you for reading.

  • Divorce DO scares kids for life, because parents are the best role models. I will never enter marriage, because the effect the divorce did to my parents and my siblings.

  • I was able to get evidence of my cheating spouse through the services of a professional hacker i got on Instagram @westhack00

    i got a detailed information about his secret dating, call logs, Whats App, Instagram, texts and others and he hacked it without physical
    access of his phone. you can contact him too he also helped two other people i know.

  • I was looking for children furniture perspective. It would take a supreme level of immaturity to run away… unless you are married to a grand butt-hole. AND then you have many apologies to make… including your kids… now, mommy/daddy were/are “wrong.” Now expect them to take your word for it after you backed out of the biggest agreement of your[or their] life. Think hard about the ripples that you make in time. Children should not raise children.

  • I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn’t know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a  hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s iPhones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr James was able to help me get all this information, if you need help you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp: +12678773020

  • What did Jesus say? Well, in Matthew 5:31-32
    [31]It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
    [32]But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
    What else did he say? Matthew 19:2-9
    [2]And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
    [3]The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
    [4]And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
    [5]And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
    [6]Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
    [7]They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
    [8]He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
    [9]And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
    There you go! If you fornicate before or after marriage then you can get a divorce.

  • It depends on the situation…
    Plenty of kids would have been better off if their parents had at least stuck it out until they graduate… The reverse is also true… Entirely depends on the character and tenacity of the parents and if the children are put first or the adults…

  • how my son will handle divorce is a constant worry since his mom and I split. some interesting points taken away from this since the ex went through numerous divorces when she was a kid……

  • Well I had a really bad relationship in the first 10 years, kids kept up together, but we insisted and worked on it and after 10 years everything improved, we accepted our differences, had another baby and got married… 20 years on and we are very happy and big arguments are no longer a thing… we are happy and I love her more now than when we first met… I believe when you willing to make it work it will work

  • This man is a selfish idiot!!! Fuck him and “no fault” divorce!!!  It takes more courage to stand up for yourself and NOT give in to your “checked out” spouse. Just because your spouse wants a “divorce” doesn’t mean that it’s not YOUR marriage if you want to save it.

  • It will be hard for many to understand what is being said here. But this is true of any relationship including overprotective parents and the daughter/son involved. Walking away from negativity to have a more fulfilling life is a positive act, if done with the serenity of long-term peace. One might be clouded by the short-term friction and ego issues. Sometimes, the entire idea that a relationship isn’t working, might be an illusion. But we all know the truth deep inside. Telling our kids through our actions, to honour that truth is more important to help them stay clear in their hearts as they grow into adults.

  • I dont believe in staying for kids.. who wants to be married to a fat, ninja turtle back having, sleep apnea machine wearing, couch potato fat ass for the rest of your life, when you can leave him for a 20 something year old athelete.. tah tah moon face

  • Stay and be neglected or abused. Neglect is emotional abuse. My wife chooses to neglect me for years. She would rather go shopping for things that we already have. Then, after she is done shopping she spends 6-7 hours downstairs with her family while I stay with our six children. Every year she files taxes and takes all the income tax money but doesn’t give me 1 penny. Isn’t this a loveless marriage? I find it is the funny things is that she made it seem for years that it was my fault and you know what I fell for it for the children. My oldest daughter and the rest of the children see what is happening. It is truly hurtful to them what she is doing but she doesn’t care. She spends more time gossiping on the phone with other people than she ever does when she is on the phone with me. I find it to be a dead relationship I’ve confronted her about how I’m feeling but she denies it. She even taught our first born autistic son to disrespect me in front of all the children until he jumped out the window and even that she blamed on me and my oldest daughter. The funny thing is that my oldest daughter and I were studying in the living room. Any thoughts anyone? Tell me isn’t this a loveless marriage?

  • My parents was divorced when i had 9 years old and i suffered a lot and i still suffer..i feel like im not natural i m not like all people and no one can feel the same just ppl who lives without both of their parents..

  • I don’t remember the divorce, I was less than 3 years old. But I remember the depression it caused in my mom, I remember how sad she was. And then my dad got a new girlfriend, and everything about him changed. I remember when the transitions between houses were painful, when it hurt to be away from my mom. Over the years my dad and I just drifted apart

  • Maybe it’s actually cause whether you fight and stay together or divorce you know it screws up your kids. And anyone can disagree but having worked with children since 1994 I have witnessed the correlation with childhood problems has a majority of the time gone hand in hand with divorce or long term fighting and arguing and abuse. In the same breath I can say it is very possible to marry the wrong person. To be with a person who is loveless one sided selfish and resistant to the change that should come as years go by in a relationship is miserable. To be with a person who thinks only of themselves and what financial gain they can get or simply dies not appreciate what they have and disregards it, well that simply can not be functioning or healthy. I think most stay for kids to not ruin their lives but what almost always overcomes that noble goal is the growing hatred for the spouse. I have no right answer of what to do. I think both ways will do a number on a child and even if you divorce you are forced to cross paths with the person you despise because of the shared custody. I understand why people cheat

  • …no wonder I suck at everything at school, my parents fight and it’s taken a tool on my depression and every time they fight I feel like I’m gonna have a mental breakdown, I remember they were fighting so much my mother tried to punch my dad IN FRONT OF ME. After that I had enough and told them I hated they’re guys and bolted out the house and ran to a nearby store, I bought some chips and sat outside the store for what felt like hours, I called my friend and told her if her dad Could pick me up at the 7-11, then I stayed at my friend’s for a week. I was scared to go back home but when I did my mom was yelling at my dad saying it was his fault she’s gone, I just screamed at her saying it was both of your faults and just locked myself in my room for hours, they still fight but doing far from me but it still doesn’t help at all. Sometimes I wish I ran away from home and never came back

  • women these days dont marry men they are sexually attracted to so they marry some chump because time is running out and they want kids. Men if a women didnt give you a time of day when she was younger dont let them trick you now they are used up and hopeless

  • My parents got divorced when I was around 11 but they had been fighting since I was like 5 I remember when they were fighting my older sister would comfort me and distract me from them.
    We would trade stickers and stuff. My life has been hard because of my social anxiety. I wanna blame my parents so bad but I don’t wanna hurt them so I’ve just suffered from this pain all alone

  • For sure an unhappy is certainly not fun for anyone, especially children. As a child growing up in a frequently fractious & at times abusive family atmosphere was definitely hard (even traumatic). But as a child it was far scarrier for me to contemplate loosing either of my parents. Living through the diorama of life which included; bright, dull, diffuse and dark hues has allowed me the experience of a multifaceted viceral life, worts & all. I’m grateful that my identy as a son of a my mother & father was not compromised. Although I was nevertheless releived for my parents when they divorced after both my sibling and I left home. Were their subsequent relationships happier? No!!!! So was the answer divorce. My belief is No. While my parents were often unhappy within their marriage, there was still enough positive interaction between them that helped me to feel a sence of worth and love under the one roof, although now & then leaky and needing repair.

  • A woman should decide, when it comes to abortion. End of. Wealthy someone out there however, should watch out. The greedy, naive and biased American system has totally failed by way of punishing those with ability to actually help, by weaponising weak ones with the money grabbing opportunity, they often head for the minut a relationship is over. This results in more divorces and loss of a marriage traditions in the long term. Who in their right mind wants to marry today!?

  • So, my counselor told me to “pretend” to love and have sex with my wife, treat her good, go out together and so on. She’s being nice and so, just nothing happens, I have sex with her, but can’t kiss her, I cry every single day desiring to get out, something I wanted for years. I even started to drink, which I never did in my life. She knows it and is demanding me to tell her that I love her and to wear our wedding ring. I can’t, I feel like I would be living in complacency, we have a gorgeous 5 years old daughter that is really attached to me, and she already has asked me “Daddy, why are you sad?” in days that I think I am ok. I left the house in January and I was seeing my daughter every extended weekend, but when I told my wife that I didn’t want to go back at all and wanted a divorce, and she saw that I was actually recovering and fine, she retracted and told me that she would only allow me to see my daughter alternate weekends, that’s 4 overnights a month, she stayed still while I begged her for more time with my child and then in a conversation I had with my daughter by phone, my girl begged her to allow me to see her, but my wife told her that I was busy.

    Ultimately I returned because of my daughter, that’s when we got the counseling and I already told what is happening. After reading all those comments to work in my marriage and criticizing Mel, now you people tell me to commit to her, love her, while everyday I question how dark is the heart of the person I sleep with every night. Oh, and I gotta please her, because she would “not tolerate rejection” she said.

  • It can have a long term effect on kids every kid needs 2 loving and caring parents if it’s not processed than it can last a life time the break up however only short term effects but they should just really learn to get over it everyone goes through a break up I went through break ups didn’t affect me separated from my father did but got to get over break up and it’s not about you ok it’s about the kids and how it can affect them not about you it’s about what you do and how it affects the kid if you can’t get along then you don’t deserve to be parents and if you abuse you’re kid or your partner then you don’t deserve to be walking the streets then you should be in jail face it hardly any one in this world deserves to have a kid it’s to big and stressful for them

  • my parents split up not even a month ago. my dad was cheating. they were together for 17 years and watching my mum in that sort of pain hurt me bad. but when my dad walked out that door, i realised that there was no going back.
    there would be no more family holidays, no more proper birthdays or christmases as a family, i couldn’t go home and come into both of my parents and tell them about my day. i didn’t do that enough and i regret it everyday. now i have to tell it to my dad over the phone whilst he’s with another family. it hurts, like really. but i’m getting better

  • You assume I don’t know all of that. Telling me I’m not being adult is Uber insulting. I want to say some terrible words to you but that would only prove you right and you are only partly right. But your also wrong on some level and disrespectful. Sitting there like Shehova and disrespecting loving parents for not wanting to blow up their kids childhood. You don’t definitively know the fallout or the consequences. You don’t know what the outcome will be. Kids commit suicide everyday for various reasons or start following the wrong people down a dark and painful path. We are terrified because what we do know is the relationships will change. Sometimes it works out and sometimes the results are devastating and unbearable. In so sorry I clicked on you. You SUCK and everyone who listens to this should get a second and third opinion. I love my kid more than I don’t love the woman I married. If you meet her you would see that she is worth any and every sacrifice I have made. My advice to you is to act like an adult who was born with a working heart.

  • My parents are divorced they get along but can get upset with each other I think in my family it is the hardest for me and I’m scared to get in a relationship when I’m older becuase I know how it feels and i don’t want my kid to go home and cry in the inside and waching this helps helps relize I’m not alone I feel like my insides tear up becuase I feel like there’s no one i can tell who I am

  • When my 4 yo said don’t make mommy cry, I knew that my marriage was over. I love him more than anything, and want to be happy for him and me.

  • Smartness is important in marriage and in a relationship and I’m glad that cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone. I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all deleted and recent chats on his Whatsapp, Twitter,Facebook,Instagram messages and Skype. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146 and I hope you find peace of mind after finding the truth just like myself!

  • They say children who went through a divorce peak around 11 for potential trauma. Well I was 12 when my parents divorced & it was a complete blindside to everyone. They tried counseling & a bunch of tools to make it work, but it just wasn’t enough. My parents rarely fought in front of us. At the time, I couldn’t understand. For me I was a completely blindslided & then my sister left for college that same week. I felt very alone & i’m 25 today but I’m just realizing I think I have trauma from it. I couldn’t describe why I got so so hurt over ruined friendships or getting overly emotional. When it comes to my family I try to fix everything & cant handle certain situation well because of my past. I have these triggers from it. I’ve been in out of sadness extra lately and especially with 2020 happening. I think a lot of my scars from my past reopens. But this is a huge eye opener and I’m glad I’m not alone.

  • so, should we divorce sooner the love is gone? what about the family values and everything else more important than loving your partner?

  • I have to disagree, Of course they wish their parents divorced ealier before they were smart enough, they think it would have been better because they weren’t developed, maybe they were toddlers. kids view their parents as their god, and the institution of their marriage as a moral standard, divorce makes children feel that everything they knew about themselves was a lie, that the teaching form their parents will fail loke their marriage failed, it affects them more than someone who was cheated on, theycan even loose who they’re and boys usually end up in gangs and in prison,. My mother stayed with my father even when they argued, had they divorced it would have been worse for me. The first relationship I got into lasted long and it still here. You go and check real stats not letters form students who are just telling you what they wish.

  • This is why I never wanted kids desperately enough to settle for some guy. I am a horrible actress. Most women get desperate they want a baby so they can prove to themselves they are a normal part of society or to be a part of their inner circle and to feel validation or a sense of purpose. Then spend their life trying to look happy on social media. You have to be a good actress to fake being in a happy relationship. If the male has a personality disorder then hes going to want to stay in the relationship for comfort and security. He will cheat on the side because these kind of men never marry women they are attracted to. They have the madonna whore complex. They have sex out of need not desire. They have failed relationships with beautiful women.

  • To all the children going through struggles:

    There’s hope. It gets better. Continue to work hard. Endeavor to find your passion. Life is beautiful. Life is a gift.

    -From someone who has gone through similar struggles.

  • dead marriage vs abusive marriage. Divorce is an awful tragedy for kids, but when marriage is abusive better to get out. BUt when marriage is dead “dead’ it is not bad idea to stay for kids sake.

  • I gave this a thumbs down but then took it back because of the Big caveat at 3:16 “you have gone to therapy and done every that you can to make this work”. Kids also need to see their family stick together and to not quit on each other. They need to learn perseverance and how to face adversity. They need to learn that when you get married you take vows and to honor those vows. They need to learn how fucking hard marriage is and what commitment is. By all means if you have tried (like 6+ months) of therapy and have worked as hard as you can to repair your marriage and it has not worked, going your separate ways is a much better alternative than living a miserable existence as your kids watch it. However most people give up too easily, and this doesn’t do children justice.

  • Yes, detonate the family, but be sure to get the cash and prizes (70% of assets net of legal expenses, unaudited child support payment order, alimony payment order and majority child custody). Inflict as much suffering on your ex spouse as possible first.
    For frosting on top, be sure to file false allegations of child and or spousal abuse in order to maximize collateral damage and control.
    Don’t worry, the children will never know the truth, even until they are older, and so bitter, angry and resentful because they cannot discern the truth, since you derided your ex-spouse for years and restricted his/her access to the children.

    The children will be just fine never or rarely seeing their estranged parent except on weekends for forced “quality time”, and being poisoned for decades with one sided propaganda and vilification.
    This is especially true when you withhold sons from their fathers, and expose them to live in boyfriends and step fathers who hate them and beat them senseless for asking where mom went. “She went to buy groceries asshole.”

    The silver lining is that some children are smart.
    And even they eventually see through all of your lies.
    Just when you thought you had killed off the truth for good, the children dig it up.
    If you are the divorcing parent who does this, understand you will never live it down. You will never be forgiven.

    So no, divorce is always hell, there is no good way out.
    Whether you stay or go, there is almost always collateral damage.

    “Children are resilient!” is not a license or excuse for you to be a solipsistic or vindictive bitch, nor absolve yourself from accountability and responsibility financially, legally and emotionally for your child’s well being. You are responsible for screwing with their heads and their lives and their ability to form long term pair bonding relationships with others.

    But then again what do you care?

    It’s all about you, right?

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  • While I grown up, my mom threw all the anger on me whenever she fought with my dad because my dad lost all properties. The conflict lasted 6 hours everyday. She told me horrible things like I should have abandoned you. They both cheated on each other. My mom left us for 2 years and came back home after her boyfriend kicked her out. During the two years I felt alot better since I didn’t have to be tortured by her abuse and see their conflicts with my dad. Now I left them physically. I’m happy in some way but I’m always there. I’m always cry in the middle of their screaming and cursing. When could I be really free..

  • Well said! I was married and divorced after 5 years with two children. I think there is an enormous benefit to getting divorced when your children are very young. There is nothing worse then exposing them to a toxic marriage. I don’t know how people can stay in a bad marriage for a single month, let alone a decade!

  • This is going on for me right now. I just can’t get over the fact that our current “therapist” says staying together for kids or for money is good because “it’s a starting point”. Just blows my mind. I have been unhappy for years, our relationship is very unhealthy, and I have recently began having an affair. But still she will not let us part because of the kids and money. I grow more and more resentful at feeling trapped every day.

  • It’s been over ten years, and a part of my identity died with their divorce, I find it hard to make a connection to anyone, even family, and I’ve lost touch with my childhood self and personality. Life is empty. I feel lost.

  • Mel it’s a valuable advise on getting separated from a relationship that can further harm future of the kids with Grace. Thank you ✨����

  • Thank you so much for this video. My mom used me and my sister as an excuse for not divorcing our dad. She did this for years and kept asking me when I was seven what would I think if she’ d divorced him. I would tell her we would support and love her no metter what. She’d divorced him after 30y and then blamed me for the divorce. I love her but that whole thing lasted for 28y and messed with my head big time. She wanted somebody else to tell her what she had to do and if she change her mind to blame them.

  • Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years husband cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Snap-chat, Instagram, Twitter both deleted and incoming ones without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via Whats-app him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later…

  • How about show the children maturity and perseverance, and work together with your spouse to make the marriage fulfilling again?  Granted there are circumstances where working it out may not be possible, but must we make divorce sound so “empowering” and “liberating”?  Isn’t walking away from a marriage means at a minimum breaking a vow and quitting?

  • Just at a point in time, I was just so curious about my wife sudden change in attitude and home and to the kids, she was actually trying to sell of the whole house and give out the money to his internet boyfriend, I wouldn’t have gotten to know this if not for this great Man who came to my rescue, he help me get her hourly messages and also calls and her location right on my phone and she never got to know anything. All thanks to dr jaj who help me also using spell on her without wasting time contact on email [email protected]

  • My mother married 3 times. All I learned was relationship’s don’t last. So I don’t bother. Who needs that sort of pain. If there is good in marriage I’ve never seen it.

  • Well, same situations..I have 3 kids, all under 7 years. If i live him, he will take the kids 100%. I sit with him just for the kids, even if i hate each day. Wish was easier!

  • There is usually an underlying reason for a sudden change in behavior. It’s something you may have to figure out if you want to win him or her back, and if it’s something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person’s life that causes them to act this way. There’s also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners but in my case my husband chose to leave me for no single fault of mine as he was under spiritual powers which his secretary at the office used on him to take him away from me and the kids but thank God Dr Akhigbe came to my rescue, i saw a testimony about his powers in fixing relationship and marriage issues and i reach out to him, Dr Akhigbe helped me to remove all the evil manipulation that was placed on my husband and made him come back home to me and the kids with his power spell. Thank you Dr Akhigbe for bringing my husband back to me. contact Dr Akhigbe now via [email protected] com for faster communication you can reach him on whatsapp via +2349021374574 thanks

  • Jelousy in my opinion is the number one killer of relationships. It creates a snowball effect of other issues as well. Too many good men, women and kids are victims of jelousy

  • wow. my father left his 2nd wife, my mom was his first wife, and his daughter at around 8 years old. I don’t know her but for some reason I don’t think the message she got was, oh he left bcuz he stood true to himself. n I’m sure that ex wife was adding lies like he don’t love u so that’s why he went back with his first family. but I can’t leave my child alone with my girlfriend. I cant. I want to. I want to find real love and a real connection but I will not have my 2 years old saying where’s dada n I want dada until she turns 18. I rather betray myself. idk what’s the better or truer path for me at this time.

    Update: I found out my ex gf was cheating on me for a better part of over a year and so I had to let her go. And I get to see my child sometimes wednesday, definately thursday monday morning. 3 weekends a month. I guess my ex rather be happy and more of her ilk.