How Marital Spats Affect Your Children

 

How Your Children Can Ruin Your Marriage

Video taken from the channel: Hasani Pettiford Infidelity Recovery Specialist


 

Staying Married for the Kids Joshua Coleman, PhD

Video taken from the channel: Kids In The House


 

Parental conflict: the impact on children

Video taken from the channel: IU Communications


 

Divorce, Separation: Love your Children no Matter What… | Herve G Wery | TEDxTruro

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


 

Are You Staying in a Dead Marriage For the Kids

Video taken from the channel: Jayson Gaddis


 

Staying in your marriage “for the kids”? Watch this

Video taken from the channel: Mel Robbins


 

The impact of divorce on children: Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


“In families where the mom was showing signs of depression, dads on the other hand let the marital tension spill over, with the result being poorer interactions with their child, even on the next day,” Kouros said. The study shows that the quality of their marriage affects each parent’s ties with their children. According to Grych and Fincham (1990), children’s internal processing of marital conflict involves two steps: (a) children recognize that there is some sort of disruption and respond emotionally to it, and (b) children attribute meaning, understanding, causality and responsibility for the conflict.

For around 30 years, researchers have studied how having children affects a marriage, and the results are conclusive: The relationship between spouses suffers once kids. How Your Marriage Affects Your Children. This article describes the ways in which your marriage may affect your children’s behavior. The foundation of your relationship with your spouse could have a big impact on your child.

If they see the two of you getting along and supporting each other, they will mirror your behavior and will likely get along with friends and family. Explaining Your Marital Status To Your Kids. Explaining your marital status to your kids can be difficult when your relationship is breaking up. They don’t necessarily want to know what the legal status of your marriage is. Rather, they want to know what it means to them and how it will affect.

Fights happen. Big, real, I wanna-tear-my-hair-out spats can be a regular occurrence in a relationship. But working through them and staying together for the kids is, without a doubt, always the right move, says E. Mark Cummings, a professor of psychology and head of the Family Studies Center at Notre Dame.Learn how to handle conflict properly and your marriage — and your kids. When one or both partners make their children’s happiness a higher priority than the health of their marriage, they run the risk of neglecting the needs of the marriage.

If children are involved, the parent who spends the most time with the kids, or who provides their primary care, usually remains in the marital home with them. If you don’t have children and the house is the separate property of just one spouse, that spouse has the legal right to. Growing up in a toxic or abusive household affects you in a lot of ways — including in how you view your own relationships. As awful as it, being a victim of or witness to abuse between your.

If your sexual relationship problems can’t be resolved on your own, Fay recommends consulting a qualified sex therapist to help you both address and resolve your.

List of related literature:

It increases couple reactivity to one another, conflict in the marriage, and the likelihood of couples taking personally issues related to the children.

“The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You Succeed” by Ron L. Deal
from The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You Succeed
by Ron L. Deal
Baker Publishing Group, 2011

Most marital spats are temporary, resolvable results of daily coexistence.

“Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ's Relentless Love” by Ryan Frederick, Selena Frederick, Gary Thomas
from Fierce Marriage: Radically Pursuing Each Other in Light of Christ’s Relentless Love
by Ryan Frederick, Selena Frederick, Gary Thomas
Baker Publishing Group, 2018

Having the child hang up the clothes after being in the house will not establish the correct association; learning, in Guthrie’s view, will occur only when stimulus (entering the house) and response (hanging up the coat and hat) occur together.

“Learning: Principles and Applications” by Stephen B. Klein
from Learning: Principles and Applications
by Stephen B. Klein
SAGE Publications, 2011

There is no question that affect is very much a part of behavioral approaches to marital distress and therapy.

“International Handbook of Behavior Modification and Therapy: Second Edition” by Alan S. Bellack, Michel Hersen, Alan E. Kazdin
from International Handbook of Behavior Modification and Therapy: Second Edition
by Alan S. Bellack, Michel Hersen, Alan E. Kazdin
Springer US, 2012

The relationship with the woman may become more attenuated and intermittent; the man may direct his attention more to occasional contact with the children and think of himself less as the woman’s regular boy friend, much as the ex-husband alters his role after separation.

“Behind Ghetto Walls” by Lee Rainwater
from Behind Ghetto Walls
by Lee Rainwater
Aldine Publishing Company, 1970

For one thing, it may end the constant tension or fighting between parents; and for another, it may leave you more emotionally available to your children.

“Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and the Pursuit of Thinness” by Margo Maine, Craig Johnson
from Father Hunger: Fathers, Daughters, and the Pursuit of Thinness
by Margo Maine, Craig Johnson
Gürze Books, 2010

In this cross-sectional study of families with 20month-olds, it was found that mothers with higher marital adjustment expressed warmer attitudes toward their offspring, encouraged independence in their toddlers, and experienced less aggravation in caring for their children.

“Child Maltreatment: Theory and Research on the Causes and Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect” by Dante Cicchetti, Vicki Carlson, Cicchetti Dante
from Child Maltreatment: Theory and Research on the Causes and Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect
by Dante Cicchetti, Vicki Carlson, Cicchetti Dante
Cambridge University Press, 1989

This more general trend suggests that whatever effects separation has, it may be different for different children in different settings, causing some to express aggressiveness, others to display fear, and still others to find enjoyment.

“Psychology: Australia and New Zealand” by Douglas A. Bernstein, Julie Ann Pooley, Lynne Cohen, Bethanie Gouldthorp, Stephen C. Provost, Jacquelyn Cranney, Louis A. Penner, Alison Clarke-Stewart, Edward J. Roy
from Psychology: Australia and New Zealand
by Douglas A. Bernstein, Julie Ann Pooley, et. al.
Cengage Learning Australia, 2017

Unhappily married couples were found to endorse nearly every negative trait as characteristic of their spouses (the negative halo effect), whereas happily married spouses were found to endorse nearly every positive trait as characteristic of their spouses (the positive halo effect) (Nye, 1988).

“The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models” by John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, Catherine C. Swanson, Rebecca Tyson, Kristin R. Swanson
from The Mathematics of Marriage: Dynamic Nonlinear Models
by John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, et. al.
MIT Press, 2005

It humbles the soul and keeps you grounded, prevents you from becoming so myopic that you lose sight of the children’s needs or your spouse’s needs.

“Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits” by T.D. Jakes
from Reposition Yourself: Living Life Without Limits
by T.D. Jakes
Atria Books, 2008

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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191 comments

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  • I don’t make a thing of telling people but sometimes it comes out that my parents are divorced while I’m in conversation, and then the other person will say “I’m so sorry to hear that” or say something like “Yes, it’s so hard on the children especially the children.” It gets to me. Every single time.

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  • I left and my kid has totaly changed for the better, he is more open, loves life more, more confidence, on all levels he has grown and still is, that was the best thing i ever done leave my dead relationship,me en his dad are getting along way better our friendship survived, we was just not ment to be a couple any longer, everything improved for us 3 the day we went our seperate ways the one who benefits the most from this is definatly kiddo, as he is a happy jolly little feller now!

  • Somebody help me, I feel stuck, I called every shelter possible in Atlanta, im tired my soul is tired with 3 kids i am very depressed young and stressed.. I feel like my life is over, I have not smiled in 9 yrs laugh on the outside cry on the inside, And my poor son I feel like a failure mom who cant walk away, I have no money at the moment because he is the bread winner which is why i feel stuck, If anybody reading this, Please say a prayer for me, My name is Caprice and i am crying out for help, I have been punched slapped spit on and i feel like i can kill him but look at my kids, The only thing that stops me.. I tried staying for my babies but it’s not worth it

  • Can we just take a second to acknowledge that some people are terrible. They can be petty, malicious, greedy, lazy, inconsistent and rude without ever becoming “abusive”. The chaos that people can cause is a real danger for children. Do we really want to teach children that they should put up with bad behavior indefinitely? Make our children life long victims? Sometimes people just need help. Counseling or group discussions could do wonders. There is only so much you can do and after a valiant attempt, you should be the final word on what is right for you and your family. A nasty and bitter divorce is hard on kids, but I’ll bet a nasty and bitter marriage is just bad. My parents have been married for 40 years and when my older brother was torn about what to do with his marriage and kids, they said: whatever your decision, we support you. It turn out that they both are better off, having remarried and had more kids with new partners. My niece is happy because everyone involved loved her and made her feel safe. It wasn’t easy, but doing the right thing never is.

  • Yes I make no excuses for that, they are grown up now, and its my time, not to walk away but to endeavour to find the man that is for me, you see I thought I had but he’s far away and it doesn’t seem like he’s coming any time soon

  • The ADULTERY is the real killer.

    Whether you believe in God or not the literal deed of adultery is “a sin which is unto death”

    1 John 5:16-17 & Corinthians 5:13 kJ-611

  • I am going through me and my wife are she left me and my little girl she’s eight and two months I came back try to fix it I got a rent

  • So tell the kids they are the reason you’re leaving. Tell them it’s their fault. Don’t own up and say it’s because our marriage isn’t working out and we need to see other people to be happy. Make the kids feel like jackasses, got it.

  • Oh, come and interview me. Mom divorced 3 men before I was 16 years old. She also wanted my opinion on possibly divorcing this latest husband.

  • The divorce my parents had affected my relationship life so bad but I got counseling and read books and I’m a new man today thank God

  • My parents are divorced and it’s been that way since I was 3! It’s been very very hard! My living experience is not that good bc of it compared to my friend with parents together! I’ve had to sometimes cry myself to sleep bc I can’t stop thinking about that! My parents don’t realize that I’m dead inside! They didn’t think of the rest of the family or how it may impact us or me for that matter!

  • My parents divorced when I was 6. I’m 12 now, turning 13 in 2 days, since I was so young I couldn’t comprehend what was going on. All I new was that my mom wanted to sleep in my bed at night. I would hear their fights. Now that I am older, all of the emotions are coming back. I HATE my dads girlfriend. But it’s not that I just want them to get back together because I really like my stepdad…

    But whatevs you can’t choose your life but you can make the most of it while you are hear…

  • So my parents separated when I was one but the have been married for 15 years and are now getting a divorce but I never really knew it had some sort of effect on me. I lived with my mom and my two uncles for twelve years and It was cool. My uncles were like my two other dads and I love them but one day I caught my uncle (moms brother) cheating but I never said anything and it just hurt because it felt like the pain that I wasn’t old enough to understand from my parents separation was coming back.

  • Smartness is important in marriage and in a relationship and I’m glad that cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone. I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all deleted and recent chats on his Whatsapp, Twitter,Facebook,Instagram messages and Skype. You can contact this great hacker “Gavin” via Gmail  (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146 and I hope you find peace with your heart after finding the truth.

  • What hurt me the most, ‘sniff..sniff’ were the elephant pants that lady wore!! WTF!! She could smuggle 100lbs of contraband in those things! Did she say to herself “Well now! This looks awesome!” Who can listen to her and focus.. when her pant legs are the size of oak tree trunks! Was there a sale at ‘Tents R Us’? Did the Boy Scout’s sell off tent material? Are those REAL parachute pants? I watched this and learned nothing but kept thinking…”My god..look at the size of those fuggin’ pants! “

  • My parents aren’t divorced but they often argue with each other. I thought I was the only one and I’ve never met a person who is going through the same problem as me.

    My mom stayed because she didn’t want her kids to feel ‘different’. I actually hope that they would get a divorce, after seeing everything that my dad did to her and the nonstop argument I have to listen to.

    Honestly this just traumatized me since I was a kid up till now. I’m 20 and I’ve never been in a relationship because of this. I never told this to anyone, even to my best friend because I thought that nobody would understand. They would joke about me having very high standards of guys and I would just laugh it off. I just think that it would be better if nobody knew about it.

    I think kids with these kind of parents would suffer more as we would listen to them arguing and watching bad things happen almost everyday. Neverending. It makes us have a very deep scar as we don’t know who to tell this to because it’s a rare family situation.

    After years, it feels good to just let it out even though idk who would read this. Thank you for reading.

  • Divorce DO scares kids for life, because parents are the best role models. I will never enter marriage, because the effect the divorce did to my parents and my siblings.

  • I was able to get evidence of my cheating spouse through the services of a professional hacker i got on Instagram @westhack00

    i got a detailed information about his secret dating, call logs, Whats App, Instagram, texts and others and he hacked it without physical
    access of his phone. you can contact him too he also helped two other people i know.

  • I was looking for children furniture perspective. It would take a supreme level of immaturity to run away… unless you are married to a grand butt-hole. AND then you have many apologies to make… including your kids… now, mommy/daddy were/are “wrong.” Now expect them to take your word for it after you backed out of the biggest agreement of your[or their] life. Think hard about the ripples that you make in time. Children should not raise children.

  • I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn’t know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a  hacker and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s iPhones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr James was able to help me get all this information, if you need help you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp: +12678773020

  • What did Jesus say? Well, in Matthew 5:31-32
    [31]It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
    [32]But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
    What else did he say? Matthew 19:2-9
    [2]And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
    [3]The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
    [4]And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
    [5]And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
    [6]Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
    [7]They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
    [8]He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
    [9]And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
    There you go! If you fornicate before or after marriage then you can get a divorce.

  • It depends on the situation…
    Plenty of kids would have been better off if their parents had at least stuck it out until they graduate… The reverse is also true… Entirely depends on the character and tenacity of the parents and if the children are put first or the adults…

  • how my son will handle divorce is a constant worry since his mom and I split. some interesting points taken away from this since the ex went through numerous divorces when she was a kid……

  • Well I had a really bad relationship in the first 10 years, kids kept up together, but we insisted and worked on it and after 10 years everything improved, we accepted our differences, had another baby and got married… 20 years on and we are very happy and big arguments are no longer a thing… we are happy and I love her more now than when we first met… I believe when you willing to make it work it will work

  • This man is a selfish idiot!!! Fuck him and “no fault” divorce!!!  It takes more courage to stand up for yourself and NOT give in to your “checked out” spouse. Just because your spouse wants a “divorce” doesn’t mean that it’s not YOUR marriage if you want to save it.

  • It will be hard for many to understand what is being said here. But this is true of any relationship including overprotective parents and the daughter/son involved. Walking away from negativity to have a more fulfilling life is a positive act, if done with the serenity of long-term peace. One might be clouded by the short-term friction and ego issues. Sometimes, the entire idea that a relationship isn’t working, might be an illusion. But we all know the truth deep inside. Telling our kids through our actions, to honour that truth is more important to help them stay clear in their hearts as they grow into adults.

  • I dont believe in staying for kids.. who wants to be married to a fat, ninja turtle back having, sleep apnea machine wearing, couch potato fat ass for the rest of your life, when you can leave him for a 20 something year old athelete.. tah tah moon face

  • Stay and be neglected or abused. Neglect is emotional abuse. My wife chooses to neglect me for years. She would rather go shopping for things that we already have. Then, after she is done shopping she spends 6-7 hours downstairs with her family while I stay with our six children. Every year she files taxes and takes all the income tax money but doesn’t give me 1 penny. Isn’t this a loveless marriage? I find it is the funny things is that she made it seem for years that it was my fault and you know what I fell for it for the children. My oldest daughter and the rest of the children see what is happening. It is truly hurtful to them what she is doing but she doesn’t care. She spends more time gossiping on the phone with other people than she ever does when she is on the phone with me. I find it to be a dead relationship I’ve confronted her about how I’m feeling but she denies it. She even taught our first born autistic son to disrespect me in front of all the children until he jumped out the window and even that she blamed on me and my oldest daughter. The funny thing is that my oldest daughter and I were studying in the living room. Any thoughts anyone? Tell me isn’t this a loveless marriage?

  • My parents was divorced when i had 9 years old and i suffered a lot and i still suffer..i feel like im not natural i m not like all people and no one can feel the same just ppl who lives without both of their parents..

  • I don’t remember the divorce, I was less than 3 years old. But I remember the depression it caused in my mom, I remember how sad she was. And then my dad got a new girlfriend, and everything about him changed. I remember when the transitions between houses were painful, when it hurt to be away from my mom. Over the years my dad and I just drifted apart

  • Maybe it’s actually cause whether you fight and stay together or divorce you know it screws up your kids. And anyone can disagree but having worked with children since 1994 I have witnessed the correlation with childhood problems has a majority of the time gone hand in hand with divorce or long term fighting and arguing and abuse. In the same breath I can say it is very possible to marry the wrong person. To be with a person who is loveless one sided selfish and resistant to the change that should come as years go by in a relationship is miserable. To be with a person who thinks only of themselves and what financial gain they can get or simply dies not appreciate what they have and disregards it, well that simply can not be functioning or healthy. I think most stay for kids to not ruin their lives but what almost always overcomes that noble goal is the growing hatred for the spouse. I have no right answer of what to do. I think both ways will do a number on a child and even if you divorce you are forced to cross paths with the person you despise because of the shared custody. I understand why people cheat

  • …no wonder I suck at everything at school, my parents fight and it’s taken a tool on my depression and every time they fight I feel like I’m gonna have a mental breakdown, I remember they were fighting so much my mother tried to punch my dad IN FRONT OF ME. After that I had enough and told them I hated they’re guys and bolted out the house and ran to a nearby store, I bought some chips and sat outside the store for what felt like hours, I called my friend and told her if her dad Could pick me up at the 7-11, then I stayed at my friend’s for a week. I was scared to go back home but when I did my mom was yelling at my dad saying it was his fault she’s gone, I just screamed at her saying it was both of your faults and just locked myself in my room for hours, they still fight but doing far from me but it still doesn’t help at all. Sometimes I wish I ran away from home and never came back

  • women these days dont marry men they are sexually attracted to so they marry some chump because time is running out and they want kids. Men if a women didnt give you a time of day when she was younger dont let them trick you now they are used up and hopeless

  • My parents got divorced when I was around 11 but they had been fighting since I was like 5 I remember when they were fighting my older sister would comfort me and distract me from them.
    We would trade stickers and stuff. My life has been hard because of my social anxiety. I wanna blame my parents so bad but I don’t wanna hurt them so I’ve just suffered from this pain all alone

  • For sure an unhappy is certainly not fun for anyone, especially children. As a child growing up in a frequently fractious & at times abusive family atmosphere was definitely hard (even traumatic). But as a child it was far scarrier for me to contemplate loosing either of my parents. Living through the diorama of life which included; bright, dull, diffuse and dark hues has allowed me the experience of a multifaceted viceral life, worts & all. I’m grateful that my identy as a son of a my mother & father was not compromised. Although I was nevertheless releived for my parents when they divorced after both my sibling and I left home. Were their subsequent relationships happier? No!!!! So was the answer divorce. My belief is No. While my parents were often unhappy within their marriage, there was still enough positive interaction between them that helped me to feel a sence of worth and love under the one roof, although now & then leaky and needing repair.

  • A woman should decide, when it comes to abortion. End of. Wealthy someone out there however, should watch out. The greedy, naive and biased American system has totally failed by way of punishing those with ability to actually help, by weaponising weak ones with the money grabbing opportunity, they often head for the minut a relationship is over. This results in more divorces and loss of a marriage traditions in the long term. Who in their right mind wants to marry today!?

  • So, my counselor told me to “pretend” to love and have sex with my wife, treat her good, go out together and so on. She’s being nice and so, just nothing happens, I have sex with her, but can’t kiss her, I cry every single day desiring to get out, something I wanted for years. I even started to drink, which I never did in my life. She knows it and is demanding me to tell her that I love her and to wear our wedding ring. I can’t, I feel like I would be living in complacency, we have a gorgeous 5 years old daughter that is really attached to me, and she already has asked me “Daddy, why are you sad?” in days that I think I am ok. I left the house in January and I was seeing my daughter every extended weekend, but when I told my wife that I didn’t want to go back at all and wanted a divorce, and she saw that I was actually recovering and fine, she retracted and told me that she would only allow me to see my daughter alternate weekends, that’s 4 overnights a month, she stayed still while I begged her for more time with my child and then in a conversation I had with my daughter by phone, my girl begged her to allow me to see her, but my wife told her that I was busy.

    Ultimately I returned because of my daughter, that’s when we got the counseling and I already told what is happening. After reading all those comments to work in my marriage and criticizing Mel, now you people tell me to commit to her, love her, while everyday I question how dark is the heart of the person I sleep with every night. Oh, and I gotta please her, because she would “not tolerate rejection” she said.

  • It can have a long term effect on kids every kid needs 2 loving and caring parents if it’s not processed than it can last a life time the break up however only short term effects but they should just really learn to get over it everyone goes through a break up I went through break ups didn’t affect me separated from my father did but got to get over break up and it’s not about you ok it’s about the kids and how it can affect them not about you it’s about what you do and how it affects the kid if you can’t get along then you don’t deserve to be parents and if you abuse you’re kid or your partner then you don’t deserve to be walking the streets then you should be in jail face it hardly any one in this world deserves to have a kid it’s to big and stressful for them

  • my parents split up not even a month ago. my dad was cheating. they were together for 17 years and watching my mum in that sort of pain hurt me bad. but when my dad walked out that door, i realised that there was no going back.
    there would be no more family holidays, no more proper birthdays or christmases as a family, i couldn’t go home and come into both of my parents and tell them about my day. i didn’t do that enough and i regret it everyday. now i have to tell it to my dad over the phone whilst he’s with another family. it hurts, like really. but i’m getting better

  • You assume I don’t know all of that. Telling me I’m not being adult is Uber insulting. I want to say some terrible words to you but that would only prove you right and you are only partly right. But your also wrong on some level and disrespectful. Sitting there like Shehova and disrespecting loving parents for not wanting to blow up their kids childhood. You don’t definitively know the fallout or the consequences. You don’t know what the outcome will be. Kids commit suicide everyday for various reasons or start following the wrong people down a dark and painful path. We are terrified because what we do know is the relationships will change. Sometimes it works out and sometimes the results are devastating and unbearable. In so sorry I clicked on you. You SUCK and everyone who listens to this should get a second and third opinion. I love my kid more than I don’t love the woman I married. If you meet her you would see that she is worth any and every sacrifice I have made. My advice to you is to act like an adult who was born with a working heart.

  • My parents are divorced they get along but can get upset with each other I think in my family it is the hardest for me and I’m scared to get in a relationship when I’m older becuase I know how it feels and i don’t want my kid to go home and cry in the inside and waching this helps helps relize I’m not alone I feel like my insides tear up becuase I feel like there’s no one i can tell who I am

  • When my 4 yo said don’t make mommy cry, I knew that my marriage was over. I love him more than anything, and want to be happy for him and me.

  • Smartness is important in marriage and in a relationship and I’m glad that cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone. I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all deleted and recent chats on his Whatsapp, Twitter,Facebook,Instagram messages and Skype. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146 and I hope you find peace of mind after finding the truth just like myself!

  • They say children who went through a divorce peak around 11 for potential trauma. Well I was 12 when my parents divorced & it was a complete blindside to everyone. They tried counseling & a bunch of tools to make it work, but it just wasn’t enough. My parents rarely fought in front of us. At the time, I couldn’t understand. For me I was a completely blindslided & then my sister left for college that same week. I felt very alone & i’m 25 today but I’m just realizing I think I have trauma from it. I couldn’t describe why I got so so hurt over ruined friendships or getting overly emotional. When it comes to my family I try to fix everything & cant handle certain situation well because of my past. I have these triggers from it. I’ve been in out of sadness extra lately and especially with 2020 happening. I think a lot of my scars from my past reopens. But this is a huge eye opener and I’m glad I’m not alone.

  • so, should we divorce sooner the love is gone? what about the family values and everything else more important than loving your partner?

  • I have to disagree, Of course they wish their parents divorced ealier before they were smart enough, they think it would have been better because they weren’t developed, maybe they were toddlers. kids view their parents as their god, and the institution of their marriage as a moral standard, divorce makes children feel that everything they knew about themselves was a lie, that the teaching form their parents will fail loke their marriage failed, it affects them more than someone who was cheated on, theycan even loose who they’re and boys usually end up in gangs and in prison,. My mother stayed with my father even when they argued, had they divorced it would have been worse for me. The first relationship I got into lasted long and it still here. You go and check real stats not letters form students who are just telling you what they wish.

  • This is why I never wanted kids desperately enough to settle for some guy. I am a horrible actress. Most women get desperate they want a baby so they can prove to themselves they are a normal part of society or to be a part of their inner circle and to feel validation or a sense of purpose. Then spend their life trying to look happy on social media. You have to be a good actress to fake being in a happy relationship. If the male has a personality disorder then hes going to want to stay in the relationship for comfort and security. He will cheat on the side because these kind of men never marry women they are attracted to. They have the madonna whore complex. They have sex out of need not desire. They have failed relationships with beautiful women.

  • To all the children going through struggles:

    There’s hope. It gets better. Continue to work hard. Endeavor to find your passion. Life is beautiful. Life is a gift.

    -From someone who has gone through similar struggles.

  • dead marriage vs abusive marriage. Divorce is an awful tragedy for kids, but when marriage is abusive better to get out. BUt when marriage is dead “dead’ it is not bad idea to stay for kids sake.

  • I gave this a thumbs down but then took it back because of the Big caveat at 3:16 “you have gone to therapy and done every that you can to make this work”. Kids also need to see their family stick together and to not quit on each other. They need to learn perseverance and how to face adversity. They need to learn that when you get married you take vows and to honor those vows. They need to learn how fucking hard marriage is and what commitment is. By all means if you have tried (like 6+ months) of therapy and have worked as hard as you can to repair your marriage and it has not worked, going your separate ways is a much better alternative than living a miserable existence as your kids watch it. However most people give up too easily, and this doesn’t do children justice.

  • Yes, detonate the family, but be sure to get the cash and prizes (70% of assets net of legal expenses, unaudited child support payment order, alimony payment order and majority child custody). Inflict as much suffering on your ex spouse as possible first.
    For frosting on top, be sure to file false allegations of child and or spousal abuse in order to maximize collateral damage and control.
    Don’t worry, the children will never know the truth, even until they are older, and so bitter, angry and resentful because they cannot discern the truth, since you derided your ex-spouse for years and restricted his/her access to the children.

    The children will be just fine never or rarely seeing their estranged parent except on weekends for forced “quality time”, and being poisoned for decades with one sided propaganda and vilification.
    This is especially true when you withhold sons from their fathers, and expose them to live in boyfriends and step fathers who hate them and beat them senseless for asking where mom went. “She went to buy groceries asshole.”

    The silver lining is that some children are smart.
    And even they eventually see through all of your lies.
    Just when you thought you had killed off the truth for good, the children dig it up.
    If you are the divorcing parent who does this, understand you will never live it down. You will never be forgiven.

    So no, divorce is always hell, there is no good way out.
    Whether you stay or go, there is almost always collateral damage.

    “Children are resilient!” is not a license or excuse for you to be a solipsistic or vindictive bitch, nor absolve yourself from accountability and responsibility financially, legally and emotionally for your child’s well being. You are responsible for screwing with their heads and their lives and their ability to form long term pair bonding relationships with others.

    But then again what do you care?

    It’s all about you, right?

  • My husband changed dramatically towards me, doesn’t communicate anymore.He disrespects me and accuses me falsely of infidelity because of wicked gossip …but I’m simply AMAZED at the results of Dr. Todd who did reunion love spell for me. Everything is going so well and EXACTLY how he said it would be. Even though it took 3 days to fully progress, it was so worth it because things are just about at perfection! How he took my situation and completely turned it around to give me exactly what I wanted is beyond me, but something I will never question and just be completely grateful, God Bless Dr.Todd for turning sorrow happiness. Dr.Todd’s contact; manifestspellcast @ gmail. com

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  • While I grown up, my mom threw all the anger on me whenever she fought with my dad because my dad lost all properties. The conflict lasted 6 hours everyday. She told me horrible things like I should have abandoned you. They both cheated on each other. My mom left us for 2 years and came back home after her boyfriend kicked her out. During the two years I felt alot better since I didn’t have to be tortured by her abuse and see their conflicts with my dad. Now I left them physically. I’m happy in some way but I’m always there. I’m always cry in the middle of their screaming and cursing. When could I be really free..

  • Well said! I was married and divorced after 5 years with two children. I think there is an enormous benefit to getting divorced when your children are very young. There is nothing worse then exposing them to a toxic marriage. I don’t know how people can stay in a bad marriage for a single month, let alone a decade!

  • This is going on for me right now. I just can’t get over the fact that our current “therapist” says staying together for kids or for money is good because “it’s a starting point”. Just blows my mind. I have been unhappy for years, our relationship is very unhealthy, and I have recently began having an affair. But still she will not let us part because of the kids and money. I grow more and more resentful at feeling trapped every day.

  • It’s been over ten years, and a part of my identity died with their divorce, I find it hard to make a connection to anyone, even family, and I’ve lost touch with my childhood self and personality. Life is empty. I feel lost.

  • Mel it’s a valuable advise on getting separated from a relationship that can further harm future of the kids with Grace. Thank you ✨����

  • Thank you so much for this video. My mom used me and my sister as an excuse for not divorcing our dad. She did this for years and kept asking me when I was seven what would I think if she’ d divorced him. I would tell her we would support and love her no metter what. She’d divorced him after 30y and then blamed me for the divorce. I love her but that whole thing lasted for 28y and messed with my head big time. She wanted somebody else to tell her what she had to do and if she change her mind to blame them.

  • Smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my 6 years husband cheating through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Snap-chat, Instagram, Twitter both deleted and incoming ones without touching it. I’m here in Australia and able to access his phone while she was away cheating in UK and see all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or Via Whats-app him +1 (724) 330-3252. Thank me later…

  • How about show the children maturity and perseverance, and work together with your spouse to make the marriage fulfilling again?  Granted there are circumstances where working it out may not be possible, but must we make divorce sound so “empowering” and “liberating”?  Isn’t walking away from a marriage means at a minimum breaking a vow and quitting?

  • Just at a point in time, I was just so curious about my wife sudden change in attitude and home and to the kids, she was actually trying to sell of the whole house and give out the money to his internet boyfriend, I wouldn’t have gotten to know this if not for this great Man who came to my rescue, he help me get her hourly messages and also calls and her location right on my phone and she never got to know anything. All thanks to dr jaj who help me also using spell on her without wasting time contact on email [email protected] gmail.com

  • My mother married 3 times. All I learned was relationship’s don’t last. So I don’t bother. Who needs that sort of pain. If there is good in marriage I’ve never seen it.

  • Well, same situations..I have 3 kids, all under 7 years. If i live him, he will take the kids 100%. I sit with him just for the kids, even if i hate each day. Wish was easier!

  • There is usually an underlying reason for a sudden change in behavior. It’s something you may have to figure out if you want to win him or her back, and if it’s something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person’s life that causes them to act this way. There’s also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners but in my case my husband chose to leave me for no single fault of mine as he was under spiritual powers which his secretary at the office used on him to take him away from me and the kids but thank God Dr Akhigbe came to my rescue, i saw a testimony about his powers in fixing relationship and marriage issues and i reach out to him, Dr Akhigbe helped me to remove all the evil manipulation that was placed on my husband and made him come back home to me and the kids with his power spell. Thank you Dr Akhigbe for bringing my husband back to me. contact Dr Akhigbe now via [email protected] com for faster communication you can reach him on whatsapp via +2349021374574 thanks

  • Jelousy in my opinion is the number one killer of relationships. It creates a snowball effect of other issues as well. Too many good men, women and kids are victims of jelousy

  • wow. my father left his 2nd wife, my mom was his first wife, and his daughter at around 8 years old. I don’t know her but for some reason I don’t think the message she got was, oh he left bcuz he stood true to himself. n I’m sure that ex wife was adding lies like he don’t love u so that’s why he went back with his first family. but I can’t leave my child alone with my girlfriend. I cant. I want to. I want to find real love and a real connection but I will not have my 2 years old saying where’s dada n I want dada until she turns 18. I rather betray myself. idk what’s the better or truer path for me at this time.

    Update: I found out my ex gf was cheating on me for a better part of over a year and so I had to let her go. And I get to see my child sometimes wednesday, definately thursday monday morning. 3 weekends a month. I guess my ex rather be happy and more of her ilk.

  • Welcome to America. A Symptom, a Challenge, A Disease. Asians seems to be better at raising children, staying married and being there for each other.

  • so why if this parental alienation syndrome is so clear cut, we don’t have results in the courts or legislation. BECAUSE PSYCHOPATH NARCISSISTS ARE THE BIGGEST POLITICAL LOBBYISTS AND FORM NGOS AND SAFE SPACES TO HIT OUT AT MEN.

  • Fell in love with a woman for the first time in years. You know how it goes, started fantasizing out future together and all that. But then I read comments like these and remind myself of possible realities to come if I get married. I dont want kids unless I’m married, but I would rather never marry than experience a divorce or split family. What am I to do?

  • Everyone keep saying I want to leave our left because of (abuse) then they give themselves a false sense of hope that the next relationship will be better, if you’re looking for someone else to make you happy you’re going to get abused, you need to stop focusing on your partners and start focusing on loving oneselves, most ppl stay in their marriage because of the kids, but why? Your kids brings joy, laughter, piece to oneselves the glue a relationship needs to prosper.

  • We split up yesterday. Kids decided to stay with me. She already had somebody else. I will put my kids in first place and give them best I can. I can tell I felt shit couldn’t sleep all night,but now I feel bit relaxed and I’m pretty sure it will get better.

  • My husband doesn’t believe in therapy. He avoids any conversations about our relationship. When my son gets a little older… We will decide. It’s expensive out there. I can’t afford to live by myself!
    A serious amount of disengagement and disinterest.

  • Many times, for many moms, staying in a marriage is financially better for the children. If she became a single parent she may have to work which makes it difficult if children become ill, need a babysitter during the summer, holidays, and after school. Used to be you could hire a high school kid to watch your child but many high schools began starting later then getting out later than the grade school.

  • To catch a cheater contact this great hacker via text/Whatsapp/call
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    whatsapp,ig,fb,calls and i was able to find out he has been cheating

  • My wife and I had our first born 5 weeks ago. We have been together happily for around 4 years. With our newly born son, it’s like we are total strangers, and all we do is conflict with things now and hate each other. It feels like the trust is also gone, and doesn’t feel anything like the person i married. Having a family after all these years, this is not what i expected to ruin our marriage…. to the point now where I feel I’m here now just for my son, and no longer my stranger of a wife ��

  • My wife and I have maybe, one blown out of proportion, argument a year (the resentment build up). It’s semi toxic. We manage to keep it away from our 4 year old, who DOESN’T know, mind you. Outsiders think we have a great marriage. When in reality, we are more like pals, sharing in life responsibilities (with a small side of fuck you). Our intimacy is almost nonexistent. It’s now September… We have had sex 3 times this year (briefly). She’s a bit delusional, when it comes to how she sees our marriage. If another woman takes notice, she’s “up in arms”. She’ll say things like, “Does she need to see me?”, or “…does she see your ring?”.

    As for my 4 year old… The kid is completely in the dark on this situation. We give my child so much attention. We go out together, sing together, laugh together…etc. Not so much as a front. But because, my wife and I are more like friends. So it’s easy. This is why it’s hard for me to leave. I’m in “No Intimacy Hell”. And I’ve managed to become content with my hell, mostly. I have the occasional NEED. My kids smiling face, and love my child has when they see us together is a great sedative to the calamity.

  • Love is awesome but smartness is much more important in a relationship. There’s a popular saying that “don’t trust too much because that too much might hurt you so much”. I discovered my wife was cheating on me through the help of an ethical hacker ( Cyberhackingsage )who helped cloned her cellphone and i was able to read her messages and uncover my wife’s infidelity without having to touch her phone. It was a sad experience for me but I’m glad i found out all her secrets and how she planned on using this Pandemic to get back at me. All i did was share my wife’s cell number with Cyberhackingsage and i got access to her Facebook, WhatsApp, GPS location, Call Logs and Text Messages (both deleted and incoming ones) with a remote link to a programmed application on my phone. I’m here in Florida and able to access my wife’s phone…even while she was away in Canada cheating on me. Thanks to Cyberhackingsage, now i have enough evidence for my divorce. You can contact them Via Gmail ( [email protected] )Or Text and WhatsApp them on +15713758467…thank me later

  • To be honest no one really deserves to be cheated upon and I believe smartness is essential in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my cheating Narcissist husband through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Messenger, Kik, Snap-chat, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Email and Social media chat, i was able to read both his new and deleted messages without touching it. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover kissing, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Texas, USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Genius-Tracker via Gmail (geniustracker701) or contact him on his mobile and via whats-app +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth…

  • If I didn’t have my 4 year old daughter I would have left a long time ago. I get yelled all the time, she is not fun to be around. Im scared to get a divorce because of the money I will lose.
    So I keep to myself hurting and lonely.
    Smh

  • Despite the obvious information freely out there about the terrible damage inflicted on all parties by divorce, people keep getting themselves into a divorce trajectory.

  • I’m going through a separation right now. We have a 2 year old daughter and I’ve been a stay at home dad for a year now. I’m heartbroken and scared. I’m an American living in Vietnam, married to a Vietnamese wife and our daughter was born in Vietnam. My wife and I have been been fighting off and on since before our daughter was even born. We got into an argument on our wedding night. We got into an argument getting things ready to leave for the hospital to have our baby. While my wife is a fantastic mom, and in some ways a good wife, she’s not a good friend. It’s difficult to communicate with her with some sort of stress occuring. When my daughter is around, we are usually pretty good, but when my daughter goes to sleep, there is a quiet, a distance and a inability to be affectionate with each other. Usually an argument results in a bad mood around the house for 1 or 2 days. Sometimes I’m told to get out. I just couldn’t handle it anymore and decided to leave. I’m scared of the future. I want to be a part of my daughter’s life everyday and don’t know how I’m going to fit in. I am idealistic and loved being part of a family unit. Now it’s seemingly over. I haven’t seen my daughter since I left 4 days ago. I’m seeing her in about 2 hours and I’m already sad about saying goodbye. Thanks for reading this. I don’t know if anyone will, but it felt good to write it.

  • When I contact westhack000 on Instagram i had the feelings my problem was gone, was with a cheating wife And couldn’t bear it this was bad and I never move on, I needed proof to divorce her but no proof because I don’t have access to her phone my mind needed peace and all I could think was her cheating on me with her ex I needed a miracle and westhack000 on Instagram help me hack into her mobile phone remotely and she didn’t suspect or know she was hacked.

  • I’m a product of my mom sticking it out for us. Big lesson learned for me and how I make my decisions as an adult. My children deserve to see what true love and happiness is.

  • Healing your marriage is about deciding what changes
    your relationship needs in order to be stronger, healthier and happier,
    and then making those changes happen. It is about taking charge and not
    letting the winds of fate control your lives.If you want to safeguard
    your marriage, here’s the solution bitly/32jTWYA

  • Lies and Infidelity is a very serious issue to deal with and it’s a major threat to most marriages and relationships.Scars left behind from a narcissist husband is hard to erase from the mind. I was reluctant at first about finding the truth about my cheating husband but I’m glad I finally took the courage for it.I got help from Cyber Hack Solutions as he helped clone my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone call logs, emails, text messages both deleted texts and also social media chats; whatsApp, Facebook, Instagram without having access to his phone because he is mostly out of town due to the nature of his work and I was able to track his location too, all I provided was his phone number to this wonderful hacker. This was very revealing for me as he’s a serial cheater until I got into his phone and ended things.I’m glad to uncover his, lies, secrets and Infidelity. You can contact this amazing Hacker David via gmail (cyberhack003) or text and call on his phone and WhatsApp: +15303784744

  • I’m living this living hell. I’m afraid to be away from my daughter. I’m afraid she won’t want to be with me anymore after the divorce.

  • What happens with no closed-caption that video? I am deaf lots of your videos good titles some captions some not. Good perspective on your videos.. hope you mind….

  • I stayed for my son. I’m so damn miserable and is so miserable here. No one is happy here. My son’s dad is sick and I don’t have the heart to leave him like this. I don’t want my son to say to me that I abandoned his dad when he needed me the most. His dad cheated on me and I can’t forgive him for all the things he’s done to me.

  • We have drifted past the reasons why. Screaming at ceasefire caught in a avalanche zone. Going through another breakfast time divorce. And we reached ignition point among the stars of pleasantries. Stand straight look me in the eyes and say good bye. Tomorrow tomorrow starts today and we always seem to be picking up the pieces from the ricochet. I will be seeing you again in ricochet.

  • I concentrated on being more apt to “savor” things that would make me happy—anticipating a visit with a friend or going to an art gallery, or buying something online and then waiting a while to open it. I tell you that I am touched go through a similar situation and I was able to learn to cope with my divorce thanks to a book that helped me a lot to overcome my problem, if you want send me a message to my email ([email protected]) and I will send it to you.

  • I’m not even gonna watch because the title is Satanic, promoting divorce. My parents divorced and i can tell you it set of a chain of absolutely total dysfunctional and my life has been absolutely shit as a result.

  • “divorce is too easy” is a *very* dangerous statement divorce being made easy lowered the suicide rate of married women.
    I don’t want to dismiss children who suffered from divorce but their parents deserve to seek happiness and shouldn’t be forced into a relationship that keeps them from it.

  • You are a complete idiot all right if you get married it’s forever you have a cross behind you support it don’t deny it. Do whatever it takes to make a marriage work.

  • This is not so clear cut to say leave the marriage. Sometimes it is better to stay as one unit if you are dealing with a narcissist who is hell bent on keeping your kids from you or turning them against you. Parental alienation is real.

  • My 9 -year-old daughter does not want us to get a divorce and said that she will be very depressed if I left her daddy. So I’m not sure what to do

  • My parents divorced when I was 10. It was, we can say, a perfect divorce. They were respectful with each other, and also cared about my brother and I. But I lived that like au traumatism. I sleepwalked during a few times during the year of the divorce. I cried every two days for one year. My whole world was ending. Now I’m scared of long term relationship. I think it’s because I don’t want to suffer like that anymore. I think I hate the end of stories. I can’t imagine that love can last forever and it scares me.

  • A caring, intelligent approach to a delicate subject familiar to so many. The message comes across clearly and the priorities are well defined. This book needs to be translated asap! Congratulations to the author.

  • I thought that my parents divorce didn’t affect me at all because I didn’t notice anything about how I felt but it really changed my life and I have a lot of issues..

  • My dad randomly starts screaming, swearing and punching the wall every morning and after work because he hates my mom. She says she stays in the unhappy marriage for us (children) and for our future. She thinks that no family would allow their daughter to merry me if they know that my parents are divorced. My father does not give her money. She does not cook for him but cleans the house. My father has a lot of property in the city, and has lot’s of connections. If we go to court, he might bribe the judge and leave her with nothing. They are both miserable and make my life miserable as well. Why don’t they just divorce? They maintain this lie and shit show to “maintain a good family name in the society”, but I don’t feel it’s a healthy thing to do. I’m starting to develop depression, anxiety and stress disorders because of all that crap.

  • Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally  married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail  (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later.

  • I disagree, the next people that the kids’s parents married, what makes you think that they will love your kids as their own? You dont know that so why risk it? Smh…. Sure if you divorce and stay single that probably would be best, but if youre just going jump into another relationship, you are selfish.

  • LOL. I love my children to no end but i would never put my all in them and not my husband. I have a life and im one person, but my relationships with EACH would be different. I gone be with my man so they can kiss my ass for those time beings

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  • i left my husband and four kids because he under breath kept saying this girl “taren” body was better all day long so i assumed he was sleeping with her while i was at a part time job or the store. one day when i came home from my part time job the house was a totally trashed and i was complaining to the kids and they said “taren” did it she was angry. so one day i told the kids it was time to go daddies behaving bad with “taren” but they refused to leave but i did. had enough. annynomous

  • It also doesn’t seem matter what age your kids are when you divorce, in terms of how upsetting it is to the kids. I’ve seen people in their their 50’s just as wrecked in the moment as 5 year-olds. If it’s dead in the water, it’s dead in the water.

  • Sticking a marriage out for LIFE is admirable and RIGHT. Whether or not you agree with your partner on EVERYTHING is irrelevant. Marriage vows generally contain “till death do us part.” It’s a no brainer. Work hard in your marriage to let your partner know you love them still and they should do the same for you. man/woman woman/man. That’s what marriage is about. Through thick and thin always be there for each other. Unfortunately there are many cases where the partner (of either sex) takes advantage of the other and does nothing in return for the other’s generosity…. to that how can I possibly have a solution or opinion? I have tried to at least be equal in every relationship I have ever been in.

    This is just my opinion, thanks for reading.

  • I love my wife.. I give everything she wants..i always spend time for her and my kids.. But she didn’t like me anymore.. She didn’t want to share a room with me and angry when I touch her.. She also refuse to make love with me until now it’s almost 1 year..i fell deppreased but she doesn’t care..everyday she angry with me..everyday I do almost all the works in my house like cooking, wash clothes, dishes, housekeeping..she always wake up late n after that she go out and back home late..everytime I want to touch, she angry with me..I’m fell lonely..depressed but I don’t want to divorce Coz I’m love her very much and my kids.. Everyday I text her about love.. But she never replied.. She didn’t love me anymore.. I know she love other man n want to enjoy just like bachelor..help me.. What should I do?I’m so sad n always thinking of suicide but I still think about my wife n kids��

  • Having seen what unhealthy parents do to their children when they are unhappy in a dead marriage and how hurtful they can be to their children when they take out their life frustrations onto their children because they don’t know where else to vent it is far more abusive than leaving ever will be, and I mean literally so, I really agree with this sentiment. I am talking about verbal abuse, vacillating treatment (appearing loving and caring one day to be resentful and abusive the other day) and sometimes even physical abuse. This is what parents can turn into when they are unhappy, because when we do not feel good ourselves we have a tendency to be toxic to our own environment and thus we also make everyone else feel bad too which in turn becomes this extremely negative downward spiral. 

    Our environment shapes us and who we are and how we feel shapes the environment in which we choose to be in and how we interact with it. I do not believe in that people should stay in unhappy marriages for the sake of their children and thus forsake their own character integrity for the sake of it and with that becoming unhappy, sad, angry, resentful. All those negative feelings gotta go somewhere and in most scenarios it will be expressed in the way they interact with their children because their children become the source of their frustration: it’s the children’s fault they are unhappy because they choose to be unhappy for their kids.

    People just shouldn’t do it. It’s difficult for children to have parents who separate but it’s difficult to be with someone you thought you would spend the rest of our life with to realize that we aren’t. It does take courage to leave and not find excuses to forsake our own sense of integrity. Sometimes people do break up for no real reason than because they are too afraid to tackle on problems but some problems cannot be solved more than breaking up. There is no universal solution to a relationship and it always boils down to what makes people the most happy. 

    Never stay in a life situation that makes you so unhappy that you have to take it out on your children. That is actual abuse because you had the power to choose to not do this and actively harm your own children in this way. Divorce is not if this could have been prevented and had turned into a loving parent who would give it all to your kids without also resenting them for making you stay in a life situation that makes you unhappy. 

  • Yes my parents hate each other but still stay together. I get so insecure around another person if they try to wanna date me. Its like I become mentally unstable and I just feel like I’ll hurt the other person and so much more that I can’t even explain.

  • thank you so much, I recognized myself very clearly through the children you described, and i got all of the 3 reaction you mentionned, you got me crying for real because I thought I was trapped but I had no idea on how to get out

  • My mom’s mom (my grandma) got divorced and remarried four times while my mom was a girl. I can only imagine what that was like for her. But now she’s divorcing my dad and I’m only 13 and I have no idea why she would DO that knowing how it feels for kids. Why did she even get married if she was just planning to ruin her family. I have always had a hard time understanding other’s emotions, but now I just

    I don’t know
    I wish I didn’t feel so alone

  • Been 26 yrs married,my husband is with his mistress almost a yr. and he comes everyday to see his children cant prevent him coz its aconjugal property.were not attracted to each other its just like were sibling.

  • You always have to take care of yourself and do what’s right for your own well-being in life. Your kids will respect and love you more for it.

  • Children are extremely sensitive and sense every nuance of feeling in parents. Whatever tension exists between spouses children feel
    it 100 times stronger, are deeply affected by it, and internalize responsibility for it as “their fault”. You may feel that you and your spouse are as cool and polite as a dowager duchess on the surface, but your children feel your anger, contempt, and despair. Spare your children the awful experience of growing up in the dark shadow of a bad marriage. If you and your spouse need a divorce get one for the sake of your children. Model good self-care and self-actualization for them instead of letting them see you seethe through years of misery just to hold a traditional
    role

  • This is from the childs perspective:

    I’m speaking from my current situation here.

    My mom and dad have been married for 19 years now
    My mom is the most caring person I’ve ever met and always has my best interests at heart. She pushes me to be the best and does everything she can to help me even if it puts her at a disadvantage. She wants me to make a success of my life career wise and lifestyle wise. She shows me affection in the things she does for me.

    My dad is the most fair and just person I know. He gives me the best advise and guides me. He is exceptionally funny and jovial. He praises me often and shows me a lot of physical affection.

    The beginning of their marriage was very rough. They are two very different people. My mother is a hopeless romantic and prefers to show my dad affection over being loved by others,and my dad is a macho man who loves to make others happy but rarely shows my mom affection…this creates a big rift between them
    In arguments its never a case of only one party being wrong and the other right and almost all the time I have to be the mediator between them.
    My mom often talks about how she only stays in the marriage because of me. She earns a lot less than my dad and knows she would not manage to take care of me on her own. She talks about how when I’m out of school she wants to run away from my dad.

    My dad has the attitude that their marriage is bitter and dead but he lives with this.

    My mom is always the one to initiate affection from my dad..she begs him for hugs and always runs after my dad.

    My parents are exceptional people who I love equally. They, like anyone have their flaws. They are my whole heart. Whenever they embrace or hold hands I cry with joy. I really dont want them to get divorced but I want them to be happy. It tears me apart every day that this is how we live. I know that they love each other and that they can fix this but I dont think they know they can, or how to.

    I feel like I’m keeping them from being happy because I’m the one keeping them together.
    But maybe its just my stupidity and selfishness that hopes they will be happy together.
    I dont know what to do and its killing me.
    And them.

  • Thats the nr.1 reason for high divorce rates. Leaves a marriage just because you feel like it. You signed for better or worse. If you aren’t ready or can’t face to ‘worse’ part of it then marriage was never for you. Remember it takes two to tangle so let your partner work things out with you and make thinks better again.

  • I would never want my children to grow up and be in an abusive, unstable, untrustworthy, unfaithful, hurtful relationship and think that “well since my mom stayed, I should too” I never want to teach them that it is okay to settle when there is so much more out there! If you are unhappy, I believe you should respectfully end the marriage/relationship and find someone who compliments you as a whole. It may be literally impossible for some to do that due to legal reasons but try and make something happen vs settling

  • Staying married for the children’s sake is the hard but right thing to do if you give a damn about their future and their future family. Saying “I’m miserable” “i should do what’s best for me” that is selfish by definition and will completely ruin the child’s future. By the way, you swore a vow to the other person and said to them “For better OR FOR WORSE” if you have any integrity at all, if you have any kind of backbone, you will at least honor your vow for your child’s sake as well as your own damn integrity.

  • You folks that claim that parents should not stay together if they continuously fight, are probably the same people that cheated on their spouse and left them and are now trying to justify their own actions in anyway they can. In almost every single case staying together and fighting for your marriage is worth every single fight that it takes to do so.

  • I’m a 70’s baby who grew up with out my father in my household my mother and father broke up before I was 3yrs old! Me and my first child’s mother were never really together we were just sex partners while we were in College I dropped out after the first semester my junior year and she called me 2 months after and said she was pregnant with my daughter I was 20years old ripping and running the streets saling Weed and coke just to take of myself when she would come home from school on breaks she would come see me but leave my daughter with Grandmother I can count on 1 hand how many times I seen my daughter I eventually stopped pursuing her because she was more concerned with just having sex with me! She told me that if I’m not in a relationship with her I couldn’t see my daughter, 23yrs later I am married with 3 kids 18,12and 5yrs old my mother tells my kid’s that I have by my wife that they have a older sister and I get mad at my moms for speaking on it but that’s her 1st grandchild and sometimes I say to myself that if I wasn’t in a relationship with wife I would be able to have all my kid’s in my life it kills me daily that I never had a relationship with my firstborn daughter I live my life different now that I am 44yrs old I been working at my job for 18yrs and in 8yrs I’ll be able to retire with a petition God willing one day I can sit down and talk to my daughter about what went wrong and how me and her mother never seen eye to eye Love you always babygirl damnnnn Smdh ����������������

  • I’m in a dead marriage for my kid and cos we just got a house. It’s defi5affecting my kid cos he can see how much we dislike each other

  • After 3 years of marriage my wife doesn’t sleep with me, we have a kid together and I know for a fact that she is not cheating and I’m not as well but there s always something missing when it comes to bonding it’s just not there anymore….my belly bottom down is great but it’s just not clicking…

  • I wish my parents had divorced. It was miserable house hold to grow up in, and now they are too old to start again and I see them hating each other. Its a terrible weight to carry that they are in this loop for me.

  • I want to commit suicide
    My parents are always fighting in front of relative’s and it is very depressing to me

    They fight at home also my dad is alcoholic they argue many times
    and it is effecting my studies to concentrate i want to live home and work to be independent
    Somebody give a good suggestion

  • My parents divorced when I was 9 years old. I’m now 34, and up to this day, the day my mother left my father remains one of the happiest days in my entire life. How great it felt for my sister and I to live in a tension free home at last. We no longer had to witness their never-ending arguments, or the dreadful silent treatment they sometimes inflicted upon each other to keep the “peace”. That situation was ten thousand times worse than the very temporary pain of shared custody. Finally, how great it felt to see our parents HAPPY, and no longer angry, resentful and stressed. I applaud the parents out there who choose to teach their kids the importance of happiness, and specifically the choice of happiness over misery.

  • I got two kids with a man am not legally married though..Am a Christian but the man has changed a lot..He talks to like am nothing..Am far from home..Do I consider him as my husband or just the father of my kids…

  • People fall out of love things don’t work out it’s that simple why would you as a man tie yourself with someone in binding contract that doesn’t benefit you and highly bias towards you more then 50% chance of failing and if it fails your life is ruined it will take years to get all of that back that you lost the juice is not worth the squeeze. What do you gain from it nothing you could do all that just being in a relationship that way if you part ways you don’t get hurt no alimony no child support no lawyers you keep all your stuff and walk away free.

  • Trust issues are my biggest problems because my parents divorced after 20 years of (happy?) marriage. So how do I know that the person I like (and who likes me) will stay with me? And it takes me a lot of effort to remind myself that even if it won’t be forever and we would broke up it will be okay. But it still breaks my heart because I’m afraid of investing too much into relationships. And the only thing I want is a loving and caring partner to whom I can give my whole love.

  • yes marriage is over but.. kids are too young. they love me. i can’t just leave them. I can’t.. what am I suppose to do. live alone in an apartment thinking about my kids after work? weekends? i can’t..

  • I’m in a marriage that is failing. Fortunately I don’t have the children to worry about because we’ve never had any. My marriage seems to be going down the drain. My husband constantly ignores me no matter how hard I try. I put forth 100% in our marriage my husband puts forth 0%. I don’t understand what the problem is he refuses to talk to me or even look at me. He’s constantly body shaming me and refuses to sleep with me. I’ve been The Good Wife to him and all I seem to do is cry almost every day and it’s not fair. I would love some advice on what to do to try to save this marriage or make it better step by step. If anyone can please help I would greatly appreciate it.

  • my parents separation/divorce begun in 2008/2009. it’s 2019 and they’re divorced but the family issues still continue. i’m almost 20 so half my life has been nothing but these difficulties. oh how much i keep hoping that one day everything will just get better but idk when it will or if it even will.
    i miss having a happy family

  • Only a weak man needs a woman to complete him. You think you’ll be happy in a marriage? good luck because marriages never last today. don’t cry when you lose everything. Women can’t stand being lonely or dealing with the fact the biological clock is ticking. They complain about it on social media all the time, why most women get pets like cats to keep them company. lmao

  • I don’t give a FUCK what anyone says or thinks, divorce is TERRIBLE for the kids and teenagers. I went through it with my parents.

  • A word is enough for the wise and It is also important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners. I got help from cyberhackinggenius as he helped cloned my cheating wife’s phone and I got access to all her phone text messages and social media chats without touching her phone. My wife was a cheating Narcissist but I’m glad to uncover her deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my wife’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius. I was able to read her recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on her phone and she has no idea her phone has been cloned. I discovered that my wife has been in a long term affair outside our marriage and it was very painful finding out I’m not the biological father of our last child. I’m finalizing my divorce with so many proofs and she is still in a complete shock about how I found out. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146.

  • I understand this guys point but I disagree 100%. You both made a promise to each other during your vows. Keeping that promise takes work and faith. The reason people get married is more ABOUT kids and creating a family than just happiness. It’s about being selfless. Being selfless will have a greater impact on your life than being selfish.

  • i agree on everything you said, i wish my parents got divorced their marriage ended years ago more than 20 years because i lived misery since my childhood and it is really damaging i was brilliant and confident now i feel that my power is consumed, i am not able to move on i have been stuck in the same place for years i can’t talk to my friends anymore i feel chattered and unfortunately where i live a girl can’t move out of the house so i am stuck with my parents and living became suffocating and unbearable. I am Stuck in my home…

  • U forgot to mention how expensive divorce really is this is why millions of men like my father stay in loveless sexless heartless marriage but then they can’t understand why I DONT EVER want to be married

  • My partner can’t feed my sexual appetite. All I think about is having sexual relations with her friends and family members. So much so that I can’t hold a normal conversation for more than about five minutes. Is it a lack of sexual attraction to my partner?

  • The problem is that I know how it feels to look at unhappy parents staying together because if they separate they will be struggling financially. I can’t leave because I have no where to go live and I can’t leave the kids with the father because he hasn’t helped raise them for any of the 8 years we have been together and I would have no way of getting to them. I have no job no money no other place to live. I have no education or skills and he has it all he has a flexible work schedule he has 2 cars he has money and skills he has a bussiness and he pays everything so he would stay where he pays to live. I honestly have convinced myself that he has kept me home to “care for the kids” so I would have nothing and would never leave even if I wanted to.

  • If women had a 50/50 shot at losing the kids in a divorce I wonder how that would change the landscape of divorce law…you should leave with the same exact shit you came into the relationship with. And if kids are involved everything should be split down the middle.

  • Left my bed of six years cause of his nieces becoming his entire world, and him stop doing all he ever did for me like no time,dates, nothing. Just a sex object when kids sleep or away, while prior to us getting them we did everything together I hate him and them no ruined my life.

  • This really hits home. The pain for me is severe. Talking about over 20 years of neglect. I watch our six children while she spends hours shopping. After shopping she spends 6-7 hours with her mother and sister. She talks on the phone with other people more than she does with me and uses work as an excuse not to show me any affection.

  • I’m watching this video because I just had the courage to walk away from my 15yr old marriage. We have 7 kids 2 of whom are mine from previous. Because of the break down of my 1st relationship I didnt want to have a second broken relationship. My memories of my childhood was hearing my mum over and over many times telling us if it wasn’t for us she will walk away..if she didnt love us she would’ve left our dad. I hated it but as an adult I started to live it. I stayed because of my kids. I was so miserable unfulfilled and when I felt I was seriously losing my sanity that’s when I walked. After many attempts to leave and many many breakdowns meltdowns during our relationship, I walked out. I was willing to be homeless but I couldn’t stay anymore. I left my children because I didnt know where I was going..didnt know where i would end up. But with the grace of the Lord he provided. Its day 3 since I left. It’s been hard and emotional. Any changes are but I now lean on God for courage and strength not to turn back. Where I am right now is better than how i was when i was back home. This is how I was lead to watching this video. Thank you.

  • My parents got divorced when I was 7. My Dad was a drunk and he would curse and ambuse me sometimes. Im now 13 turning 14 and Im fighting with my mum a lot and I feel like Im turning into my dad. I just feel so lonely that I cant talk to anyone. I always doubt myself and I lower myself. I don’t what I should do. My heart feels more like a hole then anything else.

  • In my own experience i chose to stay in a dead marriage for my children for years with a woman who used me and did not love but i was dying inside till i took the courage and file for the divorce and today i am at peace and so are my girls who know their parents love them despite our differences.
    Best get the divorce and continue being a father in a difference house.

  • my parents divorced when i was 5 now i’m 16 going through another divorce with my step mom that i’ve built a relationship with, within the 10 years we’ve known each other

  • Thank you for this video!! I am her.. the wife that has decided to stay for my beautiful kids. However in life you have to be who you are to reach your purpose. My kids need me to be someone. Thank you so much!!

  • This totally describes my situation. I am ONLY in the same house because “stay together for the kids”. This has me really thinking. Second, I am TERRIFIED of life on my own. Excellent video.

  • I am currently in this situation. I have become someone I am not. 10 years in April 2016… 5 years of arguing, 2 of limited intimacy, and 1 sexless. I know myself needed touch, I asked for one night stands with him, he refused. I ended up being with someone out of loneliness. My child is only 8, and I think of all the time I will be away from her. Then I think about his response to me leaving… He will grow depressed and possibly become nonfunctional… As he has before. He goes for months just sitting in sofa.. No conversation no interaction with anyone of us. I often wonder what would happen if I tell him I want out. I mean he’s refused me for over a year. Mind you, I am rough around the edges and can press all the right buttons, even when I try to hard not to. Our lives are so intricately connected, I wouldn’t even know where to start. Albeit, I certainly agree with Jayson. I am modeling something that I do agree with. I have no family, orphan, no friends, only my work and its pretty lonely. Financially, I cannot rent even a studio.. I do have a therapist who is encouraging. There are so many logistics that I am so afraid of. And like many people, I come from broken dysfunctional home. Damn, I feel like I have been making all the ‘right’ choices all my life, so making these ‘wrong-bad’ choices now, can become overwhelming. I do realize that I am doing what I am doing out of loneliness and desperation. Money would sure help in my situation. I have to find a way, I’m so afraid of causing him to become nonfunctional for our child. I believe in is heart he is good man; however, I am not meant to be his wife. Thank you Jayson for shedding some light. I appreciate it.

  • My dad left when I was 9, 2 weeks after my maternal grandma died. My dad has visitation (gave up custody) but I haven’t wanted to have any contact since I was like 12 (4 years). My 2 best friends are in similar situations and we all just want to ditch town as soon as we graduate and start over.

  • This is ALL a lie. Who’s to say that you’re living a sad traumatic life? Co-parenting definitely does NOT assure you that you as individuals will be happy. Not only that, who wants their children being partially raised by another man/woman? How many people want to have to chose holidays to share their kids? Who wants to have to relinquish all of the synchrony that comes from two parents in the home? Also, financially it can easily cause parents needing to work harder and spending LESS time with their children. How is any of this based on a TEMPORARY conversation with your kids. I’m a product of divorce and for sure it was hell, and for sure it left worse scars than my parents potentially staying in a miserable marriage. I would have fathered them in their miserable marriage with each other rather a second divorce from evil new partners who subsequently end up also ended relationships. People need to stop encouraging separation when kids are involved as if it’s the best way to assure the children don’t benefit from two adults choosing to put the kids need first before their own. If a relationship isn’t abusive divorce shouldn’t be as easy as a light switch.

  • For the ones who say to work on the marriage instead of divorce don’t seem to realize that couples usually do try to work on their marriage for years before one or both decide to divorce. If it’s not working, it’s not working! Also, to say divorce is child abuse is ridiculous! Neglecting the children after divorce is abuse not divorcing the other parent. Yes, it sucks not living under the same roof everyday/night which is overall filled with bickering, belittling, emasculating one or both, tension and so on. The bright side of separate living arrangements is that the children get to spend time with their parent in a happier and stress free environment. Most couples grow apart when they’ve been together for a long time especially if they’ve been together since younger years. People are supposed to have personal growth and your spouse can grow with you or grow towards a different direction. Life is short so be free to find someone that makes you happy and always love and include your children along the journey to happiness even if it means divorce.

  • Men stay cuz they’re trapped in
    And will lose everything I know this from experience,wives use kids as cash cows to keep husband’s trPed in the matrix of a bad abusive and dysfunctional marage, prison.

  • More like the man cannot leave because his wife will clean him out. Child support, alimony, the debt, the house, etc, etc. Men stay because they are locked in. Women are incentivized to initiate divorce given the financial gains acquired through the family court system. Men, do not marry, you stand to lose everything for what, sex? please, just think with your head and not your genitals.

  • I am in a dead marriage and this is exactly what I have been weighing in my mind.

    Basically I had dropped of an application to get an apartment and move out and file for divorce the day before I found out my wife was pregnant. Long story cut short, yes I know that the kid is mine. My daughter is awesome, really its not even just that im staying for her benefit. She is a benefit to me, and having her has just completely rewired how I think about the world. I could not imagine not being apart of her life.

    So 3 years into parenthood now (havent even slept in the same bed as my wife for 2.5 yrs let alone anything else), the marriage is basically hollowed out to just a financial arrangement, and nothing else. My wife has stated that she will do whatever she can to keep me out of my child’s life if I divorce her.

    I know that my daughter will not learn good gender interactions from us, and that even though we rarely argue there is an unmistakable frostiness to our interactions. But so many of the statistics show how beneficial the nuclear family is for a child.

    I get the whole show your kids to follow their dreams, but honestly I find it hard to consider my needs when weighed against hers. Im an adult my life will not be over by the time my child is 18, but losing her father will be with her for life.

    So I get a lot of what your saying. However in the balance of pro’s vs con’s I do not see anything remotely close to tilting the favor to leaving.

  • My most pervasive sentiments of both my parents were absolute, dreadfully unspeakable fear of their both facing loneliness from their failed successive relationships (all with people I adored for loving my parents).

  • Well, same situations..I have 3 kids, all under 7 years. If i live him, he will take the kids 100%. I sit with him just for the kids, even if i hate each day. Wish was easier!

  • …as a kid no matter how much you try you still may not get that toy. One spouse can’t change another. Not every problem in a marriage is caused by external situations sometimes it’s internal within one or both spouses. Couples can outgrow one another and not be “in love” anymore. No matter how much trying, if the feeling is gone it’s gone. They may “love” each other but still be miserable being attached to one another. When being with someone for 15, 20 etc years and you find you can’t get along and there is no more spark to ignite then it’s time to move on to do something that will make one happy. That has nothing to do with not being ready for marriage in the first place. Life is short to live a sentence of unhappiness. For myself and many I know, we are the second wife. The men and children involved are happy growing up seeing what happiness in a marriage is. I do agree that one shouldn’t give up on a marriage easily but if the solutions fail then the solution becomes divorce.

  • Majority of your marriages aren’t “dead”. You guys harden your hearts and make enemies out of your partners. You commit emotional infidelity and confide in other people about your relationship troubles and the advice they give you is to leave and that you deserve better. But the fundamental thing that you’re missing is that a relationship isn’t 50/50, its 100/100. If you want your relationship to work you’re going to have to give 100%. That means that when your partner wrongs you, dedicate yourself to understand, and to forgive, and to forget. If you keep a laundry list of everything they did wrong after you have “forgiven” them nothing will get better. Imagine you take a loan from the bank, and you pay it off, they send you a letter stating you’re “forgiven”, then every time you go to the bank the bank is mistreating you like you havent paid a single dollar towards your debt. Thats exactly that happens in a relationship. You keep forgetting to take out the trash, your wife is upset, you ask her for forgiveness, you change your behavior, she forgives you, everything is wonderful right? Well not exactly, because now you decide to pay the mortgage late, and the argument goes something like this “you paid the mortgage late? you cant do anything right! you dont take the garbage out, you forgot this, you forgot that, etc etc!” So what happened? Why is this laundry list of offenses being kept in your personal record?? Its because she never forgave you in the first place! and this is vice versa for women as well. When you make a case of justifications and keep a record of wrongs, you are simply trying to prove what a bad person you husband/wife is. Why don’t you make a case of justifications and keep a record of how good your partner is? In reality were not bad people, we have bad habits. And you can destroy your entire family and your wonderful relationship because you guys wont let stupid shit go. Life is short, and everyone makes mistakes. If you think that your next marriage wont be riddled with the same crap you’re dreaming. Remember that and you will go far. It takes a ton of effort to make a marriage work. not 50%, not 80%, 100%. Sometimes even 110%. You have to dig deep where you didn’t even know existed. The only times marriage is “DEAD” is in cases of infidelity, physical abuse, slavery, rape, or your partner commits a felony. Notice that dirty socks on the floor, drinking a beer, girls night out, and constant whining arent reasons for divorce.

    If you’re going to get married, understand its for life. Instead of treating it like you have a way out, treat it as you dont. Choose your partner wisely, remember the good times, build your family, FORGIVE EACH OTHER, LET SHIT GO, and be there for each other.

    Again if you think that somebody else wont give you your spouse’s bullshit or worse, you’re dreaming. Majority of men are alike, majority of women are alike, the only time divorce is ok is when your marriage is TRULY dead. No fault divorce is umm, well, childish.

  • Appreciate Video! Apologies for chiming in, I am interested in your thoughts. Have you heard the talk about Taparton Returning Love Takeover (search on google)? It is an awesome one off product for learning how to stop divorce minus the normal expense. Ive heard some amazing things about it and my old buddy Taylor got great success with it.

  • My husband’s ex left her marriage said it was dead. Now she wants him back. All I can say either she is crazy or thought the grass was greener. So maybe be sure when you leave your marriage is dead. It’s sad to see her trying to win my husband back. Plus she isn’t the only person I know who did the same. My ex left and he is still trying to come back. Maybe that’s my generation you never know what you have til its gone.

  • I need to listen to my eldest son,advices me,mom incase you and dad will separated,please don’t go back with him.we will take care of you..his only 12,

  • I like that… Do it FOR the kids. Think of the lessons taught when there’s no genuine romantic sweet love…. Pretending, lying, faking it, tolerate, placate, avoidance, irritation, sometimes disgust, annoyance, embarrassment, distance, separateness, and physical and emotional coldness. Yeah, real good relationship lessons. But, we stay together BY GAWD! sarc////
    I think staying in a bad marriage is often an excuse to hide from the vulnerability of something real, under the guise of being upstanding. It’s a farce, and a hideout.

  • I might be able to comment if the speaker’s microphone had been working. As it is, i can’t hear her speak even with the speakers turned up full volume.

  • It sucks for parents to stay in a shitty relationship for kids. but its how our world was built. so yeah, give up, let your kids suffer. as long as youre happy.

  • this hurt man. i can’t talk about anything. i don’t wanna hurt my parent by thinking it’s there fault. and i have siblings too. but i gotta stay strong for them so they don’t worry.

  • Great I agree totally it’s quite more difficult to separate and to be true than to stay and betray ourselves.. But is there something to do to save a dead marriage?? When love is still there but no more life attraction and share..:/

  • Staying in a Dead Marriage For Kids

    Divorce is child abuse.
    Staying in a “Dead” or “Abusive” marriage is also child abuse.

    If you have any doubt that Divorce is child abuse just look around you, watch the news. Most of the problems of our current society and culture can be traced back to divorce or broken homes.

    We as parents have a choice when our relationship starts to suck, we can take the easy road, which is Divorce, or we can fix the marriage. Actually if we knew what we were doing the marriage would not need fixing. If we had maintained it from the beginning it would not have died. When you got married, or hooked up, life was great. Your partner was the best thing that ever happened to you. You made love and created a child. Then came the reality of marriage and parenting. You probably weren’t prepared for this. No one ever told you what to do. No one ever told you how to treat your partner. There was no course on this in your school or university. If you are under 40, there is a very good chance that your parents were divorced so they sure as hell never taught you or showed you.

    In this little video clip:
    You say, “Abandon who you are to choose to stay”. I call bullshit.
    “Go find some other partner that is sexy and that you have a great connection with”. You already had one a few short years ago; why not find that one who is lying right beside you? 

    You say, “It’s going to take a lot of courage to do that” leaving doesn’t take courage, its the cowards way out. Your children will pay a much greater price if you leave and they will be rewarded if you suck it up and figure our where YOU screwed up.

    “It’s possible that it’s more beneficial to your kids as you are modeling being true to yourself”. You are teaching your kids that it’s ok to quit on your partner. How about teaching your kids what a good relationship looks like? How about teaching your kids, how a man treats a women or how a women treats a man? What’s wrong with that idea? If you don’t figure that out then soon marriage will be obsolete and children will no longer get the up bringing that they need and have a right to.

    “Your modeling having the courage to do something really uncomfortable and scary but you did it anyway because you wanted to honor who you are, that is the image you are showing your kids.” You are teaching your kids HOW TO FAIL AT MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP, because that is ALL that you know.

    “What you are currently teaching them is betray your self, betray yourself, and stay in a marriage that sucks, that’s what’s going in the kids”. You are teaching your kids how to destroy a family, how to quit on someone that you once loved, how to NOT keep your word, how to NOT be a mother-father-parent. You are making it OK to throw your children under the bus for your own personal feelings and ego.

    It pisses me off that we have people that are willing to promote the acceptability of divorce. We have created a world where people only deal with the “Results” that we have. We need to start dealing with the “Cause” that created those results. It’s the only way that we will ever create any positive change. If we keep doing what Jayson Gaddis recommends then it will only get worse.

    I’m a 66-year-old father and grandfather. I was married and divorced twice before I was 38 and I’ve been with the same wonderful woman now for 28 years (to soon old and too late smart). It’s been a great journey and I’m thankful for what I’ve learned and for what I’ve been able to give to others. I spend all of my free time helping create “The Men The World Needs”. I’ve helped save numerous marriages and I do it all for the children, as the children are our future. If we don’t figure this out, god help our grand children. BTW, religion doesn’t enter into this in any way; it’s about what works and what doesn’t work in all religions and all cultures.

    Bob Munro

  • Courage requires the understanding that u will suffer and u are willing to experience pain, sorrow, loneliness, resentment..most importantly build a strong mind, calice ur heart and soul… build a new Dedicated YOU… Motivation is a weakness, it comes and goes… Dedication only intensifies, it never decreases..

    Ive been through nasty divorce with my babies involved.. i grew because i was willing to suffer and endure the pain of being a part time parent, its terrifying only for a short while; dont let it get worse, be proactive, exercise ur brain.. feed it knowledge, love, happiness, honesty, integrity.. ur kids will learn all these attributes from a new amazing YOU

    Stay strong and never run away from fear, run towards it with a fucking axe����

  • My parents stayed together. They don’t believe in divorce. My both parents have abused me. My mum never stood from me. Now I have ended in relationship where I was abused and on the verge of divorce myself so if your parents are divorced or separated and they don’t involve you in their conflicts. It is better they are divorce rather than stuck in bad marriage because reality is marriage is hard and we all have childhood wounds so if your parents didn’t abused you, neglect you. It is better for you to have 2 happy homes than 1 bad homes.

  • Yeah tough guy?! How about when divorce will bankrupt you, cause you to become a part time father and ruin you? Tough words man, tough words.

  • Hi I think I need your help,I have been separated with my partner for seven months now and he doesn’t allow me to see the kids but I miss them so much that sometimes I want to go back in the relationship. It’s since the separation I have seen them twice and he nolonger wants me to see them. What can I do to show that I love them though I am not in love with their Dady any more.please help me out.

  • Omg every time I try to explain this to my mom she does not understand it it’s so frustrating

    Edit: I think it got to the point where I begged my dad to get a divorce

  • If you are in a combative or abusive relationship, it is better to split, but if you can keep a civil home, it is better for the kids if you stay in the same house from what I have learned.

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  • Made me think of my four children and to love them more though they are grown because we cannot go to others and ask for their love but already our children have us as the ones that they will accept love from unquestionably (hopefully and certainly most of all in any case). Thanks so much for this talk! Also, in commenting about it, I feel it is universally healing because once we know this is the way to promote all we want and need and dream of in life, we realize that is exactly what our own parents would (and will I believe, even from the hereafter) believe and do right away as well! Such a comfort to feel this and that it can be instantaneously uplifting. I’ve heard about a love epidemic and I think I understand now a little more clearly how it will come.

  • My biggest concern is, where she and the kids going to live and how is she going to provide if shes a stay at home mother right now, and is one of the things that worries me to no end

  • I am still holding on for the sake of my children for 24 years now! what a total self-destruction!!! What can I do and where to go after all this???

  • Smartness is important in marriage and in a relationship and I’m glad that cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone. I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with Cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all deleted and recent chats on his Whatsapp, Twitter,Facebook,Instagram messages and Skype. You can contact this great hacker “Gavin” via Gmail  (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp: +19256795146 and I hope you find peace with your heart after finding the truth.

  • I know some people say Divorces arent a life changing milestone, but for me, it broke me. I cried for weeks when they divorced. I lost interest in things I used to like, got bad grades and lost some friends due to a change in my personality. Overtime, I coped with the fact that this is my life now, things wont be as they used to be. To any of you going through this, I wish you luck and just know that youll get over it and continue on with your life.

  • Opt out men. Get a vasectomy now.

    This is selfish me me me mentality. I call BS.

    How do I know? Experience not emotions. That’s how. Oh.. plus statistics.

    And no.. you can’t create a new family for your kids. But hey.. don’t listen.. f it up on your own.

  • Well, same situations..I have 3 kids, all under 7 years. If i live him, he will take the kids 100%. I sit with him just for the kids, even if i hate each day. Wish was easier!

  • I completely agree with this video. I have seen this workout well in the lives of people I know. Two individuals aren’t necessarily happy in their marriage but they care for one another and love their children well. They do not have loud, unrestrained, arguments in front of their children and their kids are flourishing. They both are able to grow as people and do good for each other. This creates selflessness and humilitybeautiful. We as a society have lost the beauty of commitment. I love this!

  • Divorce is one thing but when your parents use the children as pawns like in the case of me and my sisters, they created a lifetime of pain. There’s no recouping from this, no counseling and no self work heals this type of damage to the children.

  • I am 47 and just got divorced. I wanted to stay married and work it out. Divorce is terrible and broken homes are awful. I love my children and family more than anything and this is not fair to anyone. All I do is just cry all the time.

  • But if they do that wouldn’t the kids see right through the fake happiness because you may show resentment and such. When i was young i would see my parents do that but after their arguments they would usually take it out on me verbally. I mean its been like that since i can remember i can see self doubt in them and no sign of intimacy that part i knew because my mother yelled at me because she wasn’t being loved in that way, she made me feel like it was my fault. After the years im older course but damn i hate them and i spite them. They made me feel like it was my fault for so many years. I know if i had kids i would never do that to them. My relationship with my spouse and kids are two Separate relationships that should not collide together. I would never take my anger out that i had with my spouse on the kids. I know people will say but their are your parents i say fuck that parents should never make the child feel like it’s their fault. I had depression and thoughts of suicide when i was young. But i stuck it out and moved on no matter how painful it was. I hope parents who have this issue should cut it loose and divorce and not wait that long. Its better to show ur kids what true happiness is instead of faking it. Parents dont want to show their kids that its a norm because the kids will most probably copy what their parents have been through.

  • Absolutely true, simple and straightforward. I’m surprised your inbox isn’t flooded with hate mail and death treats; people refuse to face the reality of the damage the settling does to your children. They claim it is selfish to leave just because the lack the courage to leave. They are showing their kids to betray themselves by example.

  • im married and pregnant and my husband told me its going to be all about the baby when the baby comes and he will spend all his time with his baby. i asked him well “what about spending time with me?” he said you will be there. i explained to him how important time together is to me but he didnt seem to get it. i explain my feelings and he just laughs. im afraid my marriage will be over once the baby comes. i already have to be the one who arranges dates and time to spend together and the baby isnt even here yet. we have only been married a year and im afraid of losing my husband

  • Most women are just looking for a man so they can have a wedding, house and children, so the marriage was a sham from the beginning. This is why a guy’s wallet and not his personality or looks are the deal-breaker factor.