Exactly what is a ‘Good Death’

 

What Is A Good Death? | Talking Point | CNA Insider

Video taken from the channel: CNA Insider


 

How to do a Good Death | Jane Duncan Rogers | TEDxFindhornSalon

Video taken from the channel: TEDx Talks


 

Dying a Good Death (Part 1) 1305

Video taken from the channel: Context Beyond the Headlines


 

A Good Death: The inside story of a hospice

Video taken from the channel: Sky News


 

Greg Wise: What is a good death?

Video taken from the channel: The Good Grief Trust


 

Documenting a “good death”

Video taken from the channel: CBS Sunday Morning


 

What Is a Good Death?

Video taken from the channel: NourFoundation


Emily Meier, PhD, a clinical psychologist at UC San Diego Health, recently studied research from around the world on death and identified 11. Hospital chaplain, Fr Peter Harries, says a good death may involve reconciliation with God or family members. “It’s about tidying up loose ends in their lives. For other people it’s about times with family, friends, and those who are significant to them. It’s about. According to an Institute of Medicine report, a good death is: “Free from avoidable distress and suffering for patient, family and caregivers, in general accord with the patient’s and family.

There are some who believe that calling a death “good” is a value judgement that might not necessarily belong to the patient. As a result, a newer model for working with the dying has been. good death Medspeak A term that reflects individual preferences for how a person wants to die. For many people, factors that constitute a good death include dying at home, with family and friends and without stressful physical symptoms (nausea and vomiting, pain, dyspnoea, respiratory tract secretions, pain, and agitation). Vox populi.

From the MDMD perspective, a “good death”, for some people, means taking control of the manner and timing of their end, with professional guidance and assistance. Painlessly slipping into unconsciousness and death, without having to fight to stay alive as long as possible when quality of life has permanently diminished unacceptably. Experiencing dignity in the dying process. Having family present and saying goodbye.

Quality of life during the dying process. A good relationship with health care providers. A miscellaneous. To have time to say goodbye, and control over other aspects of timing. To be able to leave when it is time to go, and not to have life prolonged pointlessly.

Debate over whether people are dying badly or well obviously depends on a definition of a good death. The first good thing about death is that I will never have to speak to anyone at a call center ever again. If there are call centers in the afterlife, then I will know for sure that I’m in Hell. “A good death is the best death that can be achieved in the context of the individual’s clinical diagnosis and symptoms, as well as the specific social, cultural and spiritual circumstances, taking into consideration patient and carer wishes and professional expertise.”.

List of related literature:

The ideal death is a “great death” for which one has prepared and that can be shared with large numbers of relatives and friends.

“Encyclopedia of Medical Anthropology: Health and Illness in the World's Cultures Topics Volume 1; Cultures -” by Carol R. Ember, Melvin Ember
from Encyclopedia of Medical Anthropology: Health and Illness in the World’s Cultures Topics Volume 1; Cultures –
by Carol R. Ember, Melvin Ember
Springer US, 2003

a term nearly synonymous with death.

“Essential 25000 English-Hausa Law Dictionary” by Nam H Nguyen
from Essential 25000 English-Hausa Law Dictionary
by Nam H Nguyen
Nam H Nguyen, 2018

Some speak of a “good death” as something to prepare for during all of one’s life.

“The Encyclopedia of World Religions” by Robert S. Ellwood, Gregory D. Alles
from The Encyclopedia of World Religions
by Robert S. Ellwood, Gregory D. Alles
Facts on File, 2008

Literally, a good death.

“Practical Decision Making in Health Care Ethics: Cases and Concepts, Third Edition” by Raymond J. Devettere
from Practical Decision Making in Health Care Ethics: Cases and Concepts, Third Edition
by Raymond J. Devettere
Georgetown University Press, 2009

General term meaning * death.

“A Dictionary of Buddhism” by Damien Keown
from A Dictionary of Buddhism
by Damien Keown
OUP Oxford, 2004

death as an ‘apparent good’; for example, to escape the evils of dishonour or pain.

“The Divine Comedy” by Dante Alighieri, Charles Hubert Sisson, C. H. Sisson, David H. Higgins
from The Divine Comedy
by Dante Alighieri, Charles Hubert Sisson, et. al.
Oxford University Press, 1998

A good death is defined by a complete openness to whatever arises.

“Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition” by Andrew Holecek
from Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition
by Andrew Holecek
Shambhala, 2013

If we consider any death to be good, it is a death that comes at the end of a good long life; an early or unexpected death is considered a particularly bad death.

“Handbook of Death and Dying” by Clifton D. Bryant, SAGE., Sage Publications
from Handbook of Death and Dying
by Clifton D. Bryant, SAGE., Sage Publications
SAGE Publications, 2003

A good death is the opposite of that.

“A New Stoicism: Revised Edition” by Lawrence C. Becker
from A New Stoicism: Revised Edition
by Lawrence C. Becker
Princeton University Press, 2017

A Good Death meant dying peacefully in your own bed, surrounded by family and friends, with a clergyman on hand to administer the Last Rites and your children brought in to kiss you goodbye.

“Necropolis: London and Its Dead” by Catharine Arnold
from Necropolis: London and Its Dead
by Catharine Arnold
Simon & Schuster UK, 2008

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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61 comments

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  • We talk, quite naturally, about “quality of life”, but rarely about “quality of death”. When a person is dying and knows it and is bed-ridden in a hospice, basically just waiting for that moment, why not have rooms in which an entire wall (or the ceiling) could serve as a giant screen on which the patient could view images and videos of significant moments and events of his or her life, or stunning views and sounds of nature, or a quality video about a place, a city, a country, they’ve always wanted to visit but never had a chance to? It’s not like we don’t have the technology… but we are still dying between three yellow walls while we could instead be dying with a smile on our faces. (And I wrote this before seeing the “light show” on the ceiling at 3:49, which only serves to demonstrate that the idea is quite feasible).

  • I see an awakening in the country I’m in, thanks to other countries who share. Due to Religion I was limited in my thinking growing up and death was terrifying. A heaven or hell sort of thing. Now Ive come to believe we have a spirit/soul and that spirit may stick around with who we love. We are not sent to some unknown place missing those we leave behind. What if we are creating our own heaven right now? What if heaven is all around us just a frequency away? I was once pronounced dead in a serious car accident however, I felt as if I just stepped aside, very warm happy and aware of all around me.

  • This is what I used when my nephew’s condition became very grave. He was able to die at home; though it was my husband, a family friend, and I who were with him. They helped me let my nephew go.

  • Everyone should have a ‘good death’, no matter who you are or your status in life, whether you’ve contributed much or little. No matter how dedicated hospital/hospice staff are and how much they strive to make your final hours as comfortable as possible it must be the aim of so many terminally ill people to die in familiar surroundings with those they love being the last faces they see before they leave this Earth.

  • I work in a hospital as a psych liaison and by far my biggest frustration is dealing with doctors who don’t allow their patients to die in comfort. The lengths they go to keep a dying person alive is disgraceful. First do no harm also applies to allowing a terminal patient to die in comfort and dignity. Families need to explore these issues before their loved one is actively dying. A recent patient had a tube in his rectum, a tube in his bladder, on a ventilator, was septic, and had a pressure wound on his sacrum so large and deep you could see the bone. He developed peritonitis. But his physicians wanted behavioral health services involved in his care to be sure we were at the ready in case this guy woke up because he had schizophrenia and needed to be immediately medicated in case he woke up. They were more worried about him potentially being a behavioral problem than they were his comfort. It was disgraceful.

  • The Swedish way of preparing for death has me open to thinking about this some more.

    I think it’s a very mature and sobering way to live life which is beautiful. Living in truth is freeing so that should be beautiful!

    Good deal Wise.

  • Am 30 n with seriously terminally illness” have been hated for so many years n got no friends “ I committed suicide but failed now I just want to end up in hospice n die peacefully…

  • Being in health care I’ve seen easy deaths and I’ve had to deal with people who fought it right up until the end. I’ve prayed with and for them when they took that last breath, and I held their hand and gave them permission to go to the light. I was my mom’s caregiver when she took her final breath also. She died from lung cancer that spread. She died a good death. She died with me by her side just the two of us. Just the way she wanted. I miss her every day!

  • My Dad was heading towards the end of his life He wasnt hungry but fancied some salad cream on a piece of bread One of the cleaners went home and got the salad cream she had for my Dad I can never thank her enough for such kindness Dad ate two mouthfuls next day at tea time he died cradled in my arms Just me and my little Dad. It was a lovely end of life he had no pain I held him close to me and sang to him and kissed the top of his head then he was gone Jenny

  • Thank you Jane, you only have to look at the faces in the audience to see that you have their full attention! I am going to share this as I want everyone I know to watch it. x

  • My stepdad in skilled nursing facility….he qualified for hospice… Does hospice still provide skilled care and custodial care??

  • My father came home on Hospice in February 4, 2020 and went to be with the Lord on February 10, 2020. Optimal Hospice was wonderful.

  • Death is part of life. A good death can happen. It just takes honesty and kindness and lots of patience. When an admired celebrity takes up a cause, the cause often advances. Thank you Mr Wise for this beautiful statement.����

  • I really found your book, I know it wasn’t meant to be a book on your sister Claire and your caring for her really sad, fascinating, but I don’t think you would be able to reply to this comment as this video was quite a while ago, I’m very very sure that you have been asked about your take on euthanasia, but it’s a very taboo subject,but I’d like to see your opinion on it at some point, be it pro or against…x

  • My grandmother died from cancer years ago and we could not have done it without hospice care. They made it so easy to help make her last days the way she wanted. She was at home with family.

  • Something about being so close to death seems beautiful. By what I understand, being so close to death is sobering, humbling, eye-opening, and without room for frivolous nonsensea lot of raw humanity coming out regularly.

  • not sure why this showed up in “recommends” but thank you whoever posted it and thank you Mr Wise for talking about death good or otherwise

  • My grandmother was dying and we couldn’t get her damned caregiver to stop calling 911 who would rough her up and dump her in the bright and noisy ER…the hospital (Kaiser) finally kindly moved her into a beautiful end room, which we decorated with old photos and her things…she died peacefully there…

  • Hospice is a joke I hate hospice they never help my daddy but comp care really did it’s sad to watch people go thou this but hospice is the worst I have ever witness!!!

  • A good death to me is allowing “me” to exit the way I wish. NO extra steps for something is moments away.WE cannot turn back any of this, WE will all go through it at some point in life. I feel horrible watching those so terrified of dying they are afraid if they close their eyes,they will never open them again. I’ve witnessed those that are more ready than you could imagine and I’ve witnessed the horror of fear and the unknown.It a cycle WE ALL will encounter and while the flesh of this body will turn to dust,the soul is very much alive and ready for the next journey. I believe strongly in Déjà vu. I’ve encountered it myself several times.My only mistake was not noting the time,place or manner in which I encountered it so I could research it. While I don’t wish to leave this earth,I’m at peace knowing I’ll be back.I believe our Deja vu encounters are not only of places but people too.I see no point in lingering,helpless for the benefit of a few.My uncle had a VERY good death and at his funeral not a tear shed.I was so happy for him,how could I be sad.

  • My dad was 45 when he lost the battle with cancer i was 23 it broke my heart in a whole different way than ever before!! My dad had 2mnths in the Rotherham hospice i take my hat off to the nurses,staff and volunteers they cared for my dad and helped me beyond their duty of care even after he passed. They truly are Angels

  • When my great grandmother died they just said sorry shes gone but they said it with no empathy then the cop that rode around us on the way to the funeral didn’t even out ������

  • Beautiful story. It’s inevitable. Why not make it “good” when you can? Euthanasia is sometimes better to end people’s suffering as well. Why are people and doctors so afraid of it? Make it normal and more natural and talk about it more and people will ultimately be less afraid when it’s their turn to transition. The “Circle of Life.”

  • Theres no such thing as death with dignity. I have watched hospice murder people who did not want to be euthanized. They give them a ham sandwich haldol.ativan and morphine, They told my Mother she needed emergency surgery and she said yes then they refused to do the operation because they said she was too frail. They could of at least tried. Instead they murdered her, The people they hire are trained to kill and have no compassion. My Mother wanted to live, They didnt care, dont beleive the lies. Hospice murders people. They can control the pain but they dont want to. They want to murder people.

  • My fil died on Sunday 3rd April 2016 in the most horrific and terrifying death I’ve ever seen. His hospice care was due to start the next day as they thought he had a bit longer, but they r all Angel’s these people, absolute Angel’s.

  • I am just so thankful that there are people that keep talking and approaching the subjects that really matter to humanity in such an inspirational way. I’m glad he and his incredible wife Emma Thompson found each other, they are both exceptional human beings

  • Every human has right to end his life when thy feel like thy had enough of life” am goin through too much and just wants to go in peace” I know almost everyone scared to die but sometimes it the best way to go “ would u stay years on earth and suffer or go through terrible life” I would just end my life and die in peace even tho it scary!!!

  • Sending love and strength to anyone who needs it, I pray that anyone who has to go through hospice care and sadly pass away inside a hospital can Rest in Peace ��

  • “…that if they were to die…” IF?:) We have GOT to stop saying that. That little word is a serious issues.

    Ok…back to the rest:)

  • Many people don’t realize hospice care is available in the comfort of home if they prefer that option to a facility. This article highlights some of the factors to consider related to end-of-life care: https://corecubed.com/what-to-consider-when-choosing-end-of-life-care/

  • My aunt started hospice and is actively dying right now and they are so helpful and kind. They care for her and offer her the spiritual comfort she needs to most. I said goodbye today as she has a max of 3 days left and they have done nothing but care for her, pray with her and treat her pain. Hospice is truly an amazing thing and I’m glad it exists,

  • Am sure the biggest problem the doctors and nurses encounter is interference from family. There comes a time when the dying need some peace

  • Now how about some of these people getting in on the New Year honours list instead of some overpaid underworked sportsman or bloody actors and actresses

  • Yes but when it’s someone who’s been horribly murdered or mutilated it’s surely impossible? My twin sister died just before birth so most people don’t understand that. No one ever talked about it. He’s talking from a parents point of view mostly too and I don’t have kids so it’s worse for me. My little doggy had a fairly good death and I am grateful for that and it helped to talk about it. He’s right about us not talking about other people dying though. We should. ������

  • I work in a hospice. We often don’t get referrals until just before someone dies. This means unnecessary pain & suffering. We can’t provide a quality death or the support people need in the days & weeks beforehand, which just leaves painful memories for those left behind

  • I belong to dignity in dying I am in remission from bowel cancer & have made a living will to ensure I die in my own home looking at my beautiful garden I remember my late father living in a caré home as my mother was not fit enough to look after him -she was almost 90 years old it was so depressing to see my once vibrant father just sat in a chair dribbling no stimulation just waiting to die -horrendous & I am not going to through the same thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I took a CNA course 2yrs ago, unfortunately i was unable to do my clinicals. This video and others alike have inspired me to go back. I have every book, all my notes and every exam. It would fill my heart to be able to show people compassion and companionship during such difficult times. Wish me luck����

  • What an amazing man, and his approach to death is uplifting.This IS the way to look at the end of our lives, may I wish everyone a “good death” as my mother had.
    Keep going Greg you are doing a wonderful job.

  • It’s all such a business. Just watched another video where this poor sweet lady down to maybe 50 lbswith liver cancer. Idiot Dr.s wouldn’t relieve her pain at the end because” she might become addicted”.

  • Hi I think on balance, my 86 year old mother had a good death, dying in a home she built with her husband and raised her 5 children, only 40 days after her last bout of cancer. However as she lived with us for the last 25 years, I do feel cheated, as she was still so active, until cancer cut her life short. And unfortunately, due to differences in opinions about money, the relationships between the 5 siblings in now in tatters, which I have found devastating and overshadows her death. I wish we had relationships like you and Claire. Good on you Greg. I agree we need to allow people to have a good death and not be forced to feel we have to take debilitating medicines in our last months. Carers need to prioritise our relationships over work and money. We should stop out sourcing care of our loved ones in their last few months. You did an incredibility, and sadly unusual, generous act of taking time out of your life to care for, tragically, your sibling.
    More of us should take time out and do this, hopefully, for our parents rather than siblings, but my cousins have just nursed their lovely sister to a graceful and peaceful death…. so may be it isn’t that unusual. I loved your blog ending with love to you all xxx

  • My best friend just died of lung cancer. She drove herself to the hospital on Sept 1st and passed away 13 days later. I didn’t think cancer killed that fast. It took her so fast that none of us had enouph time to say everything we needed to say. I still can’t grasp what has happened.

  • My eldest brother and my best friend as well as my nan on my mum’s side all died of cancer, i had a cousin that died of lukiemia not sure how to spell that.. i miss them dreadfully..

  • There is nothing worse in life than to have a love one in hospice, knowing that their days are counted.My mother was in hospice for two years before her passing.It was the worst time in my life.

  • Dude i work as a caregiver we had this young boy on hospice for muscular dystrophy i never understood what hospice was until i saw him take his last breath rest in peace matthew i was never the same after that day they say dont get too attached to ur clients but gah dam dude i will never b the same

  • Very well said Greg. Its something we all dread, death, and yet it’s our inevitable exit from the world, which we are not educated on and therefore fear it.

  • I glad in some state people had a better experience with hospice than what we have experienced with hospice is a joke my dad died of stage 4 lung cancer and they did nothing to help him what so ever all that nurse wanted to do what put more liquid blue morphine in him I hate hospice very bad experience with them and in my opinion they are nothing but a big joke!!!!!

  • Hospice is wonderful…..sadly people enroll so late and only spend a few days in care. I wish people would understand that calling Hospice is not giving up on life it is living the best way in the most awful situations. Maybe this film will help us understand and reach out earlier.

  • Why the doctor tell to the patient he/She die I ask doctor is God who predict the life of people. Why the doctor they not give courage to fight them sick

  • I am young and terminally ill as well with failing organs. it has been hard but I know that their is something that is after this. this is awesome facility i wish we had something like that here that really cares for people. We are human. We don’t so I am at home with my husband and kitty and we do the best we can I will miss them a lot. I know I will see them again. Everyone’s says put a bright face on and I try but honestly it’s easier for them to say it. it’s been hard struggling to stay alive every moment. I am hoping that when it’s god will to take me it’s in my sleep.. god bless everyone

  • I find it obscene that the NHS will fund the entire outrageously expensive process of ‘gender reassignment’ but when it comes to something like allowing someone to have a good death they freeze funds. Obscene and short-sighted.

  • I feel so guity watching this. I was on hospice dying from full blown AIDs. I look at people like a friend of mine who has cancer and I ask, why…why save me.

  • Thanks Jane! Having done your “good death” workshops, I concur with your mission to educate folk on how to prepare for that inevitability we all face. I feel better prepared and more at ease with death.

  • I’m stuck in my own hell. My dad and I had a blowup and he said don’t ever contact him and I’m not welcome to his funeral. He passed away Feb 3, 2020. I didn’t go to the funeral, I also learned my uncle passed away Jan 23, 2020 while reading my dads obituary.. the feud was so stupid and now I have to live with this for the rest of my life..

  • Hospice is a special ministry. But sometimes healing is possible… https://www.christianpost.com/sponsored/is-it-possible-to-survive-cancer-after-being-sent-home-to-die-peggy-sue-did-just-that-in-2007.html

  • Hospice euthanized my 91 year old mother in our home in her own bed…she was completely lucid, eating, talking to visitors, never bed ridden but suffering from renal failure…she never was on dialysis and was not in pain…she was only on 2 liters of oxygen for comfort only….she was seen by a hospice nurse each week…they began pushing morphine from day one…and spent the visits talking about death incessantly…my mother would always be up and dressed in a chair with each visit and was outwardly upset by these conversations focused on her death….she called them “ crepe hangers”….on the nurses last visit, my mother told her to leave and was visibly upset….the nurse insisted on putting her back to bed to “ check her”…..the nurse insisted and to our greatest regret,we encouraged my mother to let her “ check “ her…..she reclined her completely flat and proceeded to leave my mother completely prone as she went to her car for supplies.
    We should have never let her back in our home…my mother became short of breath and told the nurse to put her bed up…we tried to adjust her bed but, the nurse insisted on giving y mother 5 mg of morphine as this is what they “,give everyone”……my mother was in end stage renal failure, had a strong history of opioid adverse events and intolerance leading to profound sedation which this hospice was told repeatedly.
    The nurse insisted on the morphine even as my mother told her,”No! No morphine! I am not in pain,just put my bed up”…….
    After the morphine,my mother fell into deep unconsciousness……she remained so for seven days…never drinking, speaking or moving again….because of her renal failure, she could not clear the morphine receiving 2 times the amount for someone in end stage renal failure..enough to cause profound neurological adverse sedation and completely dry out her already fragile kidneys…..as her renal condition declined,she became toxic in two days from the two metabolites of morphine…poisoning her, causing her face and arms to swell and turn dark brown to blue…as if someone had beaten her……this explained by our family pharmacist.
    At her death, the swelling and discoloration was gone…..normal people clear morphine within hours…in those with kidney failure it can take days. M mother thoroughly understood the importance of hydration and kept a water flask nearby…..she never stopped drinking or eating because of her illness.
    The nurse also did not take into account my mother was taking tramadol and Xanax…both have sedative effects compounded by the additional morphine.my mother died from dehydration from no fluid for seven days……renal failure. Hospice euthanized my mother.
    We have had three other family members in hospice care and NEVER experienced such unprofessional, careless an irresponsible medical malfeasance. We live with this complete disrespect and breech of my mother’s rights and directives given by herself in her own home. This happened in Delaware Hospice.

  • Legalize euthanasia and assisted suicide, and not just for the terminally ill. We didn’t have a choice coming into this world, but we should have a choice as to when and how we go out. We all deserve a dignified death.

  • End of life you have made think about this before. Listening to your talk reminds me I still have some questions to get on with. Thanks

  • Oh, Jane, that is so beautiful!!  I especially love the part where you told us you asked yourself, “Am I enjoying this?” and if you didn’t, you stopped.  That’s exactly what I do, on a daily basis, to help my body heal.   You are so right life is too short to spend time doing what we don’t want or need to do!  Brilliant!   Much love and I’ve shared this, as it’s far too important for people to miss it.  Thank you!   <3

  • Hospice are good people they don’t just take of death…they also take care of other people…I work in a nursing home..I was a house keeper I would clean after death

  • There should be more stories/videos about Hospice. The reality is we all die. I appreciate all those involved in this short documentary.

  • Thank you Jane. I did the Louise Hay Course with you and Phillip back in 1995 in Oxfordshire and still appreciate what I learned and what you gave us and no doubt my experiences in the course have helped me deal with and let go of difficult times since then, including the death of my beloved mother in 2000 when she was only 60. After witnessing her death, I too felt the great urge to know who I really am, and to talk to and remind people about death, so that it doesn’t come as such a shock when it happens to loved ones and/or ourself. Thank you for this reminder that I still need to sort out some things before I too leave this mortal coil. xo