Avoid Undesirable Attention While Exercising

 

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How do I handle pushy, unwanted attention? — Susan Winter

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Stop Wasting Time In The Gym: MY TOP 5 BEGINNER TIPS ����‍♀️

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Avoid being alone with a trainer in a room with closed doors. Ask to be in a more public area or have another staff member present. If you need to be “spotted” while working on equipment or exercising, the trainer can use a ball or towel instead of touching you directly. Maintain boundaries with your trainer. While women shouldn’t have to go out of their way to avoid unwanted interactions, many also chose to work out somewhere they could be more comfortable.

A lot of women decided to work out at home instead, which can be just as rewarding without nearly as much of the hassle as getting to the gym. If you’re dealing with unwanted romantic attention, the research suggests that you are probably changing your behavior much more than suitors imagine. Targets are expending energy avoiding their.

The most important thing to remember is not to let someone’s unwanted attention intimidate you and affect your job. If you’re uncomfortable, speak your truth!Situations of unwanted attention that occur at work or in another location where you need to continually interact with the person may be dealt with by confronting him.

If the attention is persistent and abusive, you may need to get help from law enforcement or another authority. Abusive attention is cause for talking to law enforcement. The art of active listening includes paying close attention to what another person is saying then paraphrasing what you’ve heard and repeating it back.

Concentrate on the conversation at hand and avoid unwanted interruptions (cell phone calls, others walking into your office, etc.). However, paying attention to detail can help you to avoid making mistakes that can lead to injury. “Don’t take shortcuts,” insists Arbill.com, “stick to the instructions and work with diligence and awareness of your surroundings.” 5. Pay attention to and follow emergency drills. Workers also tend to take safety drills for granted. But what can you do when someone starts giving you unwanted attention?

Here are a few no-filter ideas: 1. Ask them to stop. It’s so simple, but sometimes so hard to do, especially in situations where there are power dynamics at play. It can be very effective, however, if my “ew, gross, stop it!” is anything to go by.

Ideally, you should feel safe saying “no” to attention you don’t want. In many circumstances, however, it feels physically, professionally, or socially dangerous to set clear and firm boundaries. Protect yourself by saying no, getting distance from the person who asks, and telling others.

Method 1. mute unmute. Hide player. Whether you’re in extrovert who will do anything for attention or the quietest introvert ever, attention does have its price.

And unwanted attention comes with a very steep price, since it’s usually more of a pain than flattery.

List of related literature:

Notice when you are uncomfortable during the week and take a moment to do your exercise.

“Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Scripted Protocols: Basics and Special Situations” by Dr. Marilyn Luber, PhD
from Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Scripted Protocols: Basics and Special Situations
by Dr. Marilyn Luber, PhD
Springer Publishing Company, 2009

On one side, list your “don’t wants” (“I don’t want to undress in front of people at the gym because I’m embarrassed about how I look”); on the other side, transform your statement into a “do want” (“I want to move towards feeling comfortable getting undressed in front of people at the gym”).

“Full-Filled: The 6-Week Weight-Loss Plan for Changing Your Relationship with Food-and Your Life-from the Inside Out” by Renée Stephens, Samantha Rose
from Full-Filled: The 6-Week Weight-Loss Plan for Changing Your Relationship with Food-and Your Life-from the Inside Out
by Renée Stephens, Samantha Rose
Atria Books, 2011

Remind yourself that you’re not supposed to be wearing that backpack, and that it’s okay to leave it off.

“The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide for Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man” by Laura Doyle
from The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide for Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man
by Laura Doyle
Touchstone, 2001

Just continue doing this any time you notice your attention is wandering, even if it happens 100 times during the exercise!

“Affect Regulation Training: A Practitioners' Manual” by Matthias Berking, Brian Whitley
from Affect Regulation Training: A Practitioners’ Manual
by Matthias Berking, Brian Whitley
Springer New York, 2014

Wear loose and comfortable clothes when working out.

“Science of Flexibility” by Michael J. Alter
from Science of Flexibility
by Michael J. Alter
Human Kinetics, 2004

Whenever I was working out and got tired and figured I ought to stop, I’d close my eyes and see that list in the locker room without my name on it and that usually got me going again.”

“Emotional Equations: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness + Success” by Chip Conley
from Emotional Equations: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness + Success
by Chip Conley
Atria Books, 2012

If you notice your attention wandering, simply be aware of your experiences and gently bring your focus back to the exercise.

“When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism” by Martin M. Antony, Richard P. Swinson
from When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism
by Martin M. Antony, Richard P. Swinson
New Harbinger Publications, 2009

Tell yourself during a tough workout or competition, “I can do this.”

“Mental Training for Peak Performance: Top Athletes Reveal the Mind Exercises They Use to Excel” by Steven Ungerleider
from Mental Training for Peak Performance: Top Athletes Reveal the Mind Exercises They Use to Excel
by Steven Ungerleider
Rodale Books, 2005

I tell them, do not overdo it or you will not continue exercising.

“The Active Female: Health Issues Throughout the Lifespan” by Jacalyn J. RobertMcComb, Reid L. Norman, Mimi Zumwalt
from The Active Female: Health Issues Throughout the Lifespan
by Jacalyn J. RobertMcComb, Reid L. Norman, Mimi Zumwalt
Springer New York, 2014

Promise yourself that if you go to the gym and change into your workout gear, you can leave without breaking a sweat.

“Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes and How to Correct Them: Lessons from the Life-Changing Science of Behavioral Economics” by Gary Belsky, Thomas Gilovich
from Why Smart People Make Big Money Mistakes and How to Correct Them: Lessons from the Life-Changing Science of Behavioral Economics
by Gary Belsky, Thomas Gilovich
Simon & Schuster, 2010

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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35 comments

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  • Two observations: individuals who are friendly are viewed as suspicious because people are believed to not be friendly without having ulterior motives. Secondly, everyone takes everything so personally. No good deed goes unpunished in some cases.

  • I’m glad you made this vid. It really helped me. I could see myself in so many of the situations with stalkerish men. I’ve had loads of this sort of men pay me attention, one very recently at work. He keeps complimenting my looks and bringing up sexual topics in a “joking” way, and I made the mistake of laughing open mindedly at the gag, and now it’s become…VERY overt until he finally went so far as to corner me in the office alone against a wall and and put his groin up against my ass! He really upset me because I had like…ZERO idea he was even interested in me until the second he did it and I just felt like an idiot for not seeing it. But he was being so SNEAKY about it by pretending to be joking that it was impossible to tell. But the point is you are right.

    I always think they’re just being nice but they so often turn out like this. ALL I did was be polite to him and friendly. I NEVER flirted with him. I laughed at his sex jokes becuause I stupidly thought that was polite but he took it and perverted it into this delusion in his head that I want to have sex with him? I have no idea how. I’m not that sort of girl.

    Horny guys are just walking all over me right now treating me like a ragdoll they can play with. I am going to have to learn to tell them to fuck off. Or just be like…stop touching me you’re a weirdo. Stop talking about sex.

    But anyway. Thank you:)

  • Ready to go from UNSURE NEWBIE -> CONFIDENT LIFTER? Before the Barbell opens on September 14th BTB is an 8 week training intensive for beginners. Sign up for our notification list here: https://bit.ly/2DRnaqp

  • US gal = 3.7-ish liters
    UK gal = 4.5-ish liters

    Just drink “the gallon” that you have or a liter every 6 hours and during the workout.

    You shouldn’t be able to drink a 5th liter if you tried-that’s sleep time and leaves a clean 11-12 hour gap of no water intake.

    Ketogenic / “keto” adaptation takes a week to get into due to keto flu but fat adaptation via lipo-gluco-neo-genesis (“new fat-made glucose”-no hyphens) is extremely inefficient. Keto bulking in a healthy way is extremely difficult for average and slim-built folks, so know yourself before going into it. Gallbladder and kidney problems-and serious mood/motivation issues-are not uncommon with ANY dramatic change to diet, so see a doc when changing your normal routine. And go to a dangum hospital if you start getting overwhelming sharp pains on the right side of your abdomen-don’t try to ride that out, it’s really not worth it.

  • I Just had a day where i was feeling good before working out. Started with 6 rounds of shadowboxing and i already felt really sloppy and heavy footed. After that i started doing push ups and abs. Normally i do 5×17 push ups and 5×50 for abs. But this time i only did 5×12 for push ups and luckily i finished my ab workout. After that i normally superset biceps, back, legs and shoulders 4 sets of 10. But i felt so fucking weak that i only did biceps and shoulders. I absolutely fucking hate those days, and they always seem to happen when i have a healthy breakfast with a protein shake. When i eat grilled cheese’s with a glass of OJ i always feel amazing. Kinda weird.

  • You handled this really well J on your own.  Much easier I think to know you don’t have to handle it on your own if it gets too squirrelly.  The night you spoke with the dance club owner, the sisters and I had said enough was enough if it didn’t get handled.  And you don’t want to cross a pissed off Jennifer.  What are Florida swamps for anyway?  You learned a lot by working through it and I hope the lesson helps other girls.  Yo Mama

  • No, I’ve never liked the fictional stories. Your videos are amazing. Maybe give a sample of some fictional stories and ask again so viewers can better decide.

  • Best advice is protein. I’m doing very early dumbbell training as a complete beginner. Increasing my protein levels have been awesome. I feel fuller, my weight is not going up but my body has changed massively in six weeks.

  • The one gram of protein per pound of body mass? Question if your body can only absorb 30 grams of protein every 4 hrs that means the maximum anyone can absorb in 24 hrs is 180 grams? Right or wrong???

  • From a male prospective, I’ve got to say, it can be really difficult to see where the line is. Men and women socialize differently. We speak a different language and play by a different set of rules. I agree with Jesse in that you have to be direct and firm. You’ll be doing him a favor. Don’t be playful when it’s time to be direct. It’s confusing. Giggling at his flirty jokes while asking him to stop isn’t telling him to stop. Don’t be nice when it’s time to be firm. It’s bad communication Be mean. Being mean is how men communicate. It’s your responsibility alone to set clear boundaries. Men obviously aren’t mind readers. It’s your responsibility to protect yourself, so make wise choices.

  • Mobility is super underrated. When I was a beginner it felt as if everyone always focused so much on adding more weight. I didn’t pay much attention to stretching and mobility work bc I felt like I should use that time to do more reps/sets.

    Then I realise that every GOOD / respectable lifter I follow put mobility on high priority. Definitely wish I can go back to focus more on this earlier!

  • Really helpful, thanks.
    I’m not a beginner-beginner but I’m still a beginner, I didn’t even know what push-pull was until, months ago.

    The biggest challenge for me has been progressive overload because I work out at home (not because of the virus) so I have to be content with my 7.5kg dumbbells. I try to increase stress by doing more reps but I can tell I outgrew them months ago.
    I’ve found kettlebells more helpful than dumbbells for this reason because you only need 2 or 3 overall and you don’t need 2 of each weight like with dumbbells.

  • Yesss…. I started following you a few days ago, and you inspired me. I am 48 but I have no limits, last year got my 200 Hr. Yoga Inst. and 50 hr. Trauma-Informed.. I had been doing Hot Yoga every day
    … BUT always wanted to get in the gym, but to be honest… I feel so scared and lost. Being 5’1 and now 145 due to COVID isolation, the machines scare me, because I feel they are for bigger people and the weight room well living in guido central here in NJ shore.. lol… Totallllyyy intimidated. I joined the gym, because of you last week, been watching everything you have out there and I went today, but only did cardio like a hampster… I walked around lost, and even stared down the weight area, and said… I will enter tomorrow… lol… terrified and lost…. this video PERRRRRRFECT timing…. I LOVE YOU!!!! I am on the Journey… I am looking to get anyone I know to get a lifting buddy but I cannot even get them to the yoga studio… so it is me and you… every day: ) much love… from Manalapan NJ…Jules

  • I someone is behaving bad, as here, it makes the decision easy. No thanks. The more pushy the more not now not ever.
    It is more tricky if someone is nice or never declares any intent. Then the situation lingers on…

  • This is my first year of lifting and I love it! However it is so easy to get a bit lost or not overload enough. Sometimes I question when I’m ready to go higher or not and question my form. Just became a member of stronger by the day after doing the trial! So stoked let’s do ittt

  • This is GOLD!! Definitely saving to share with others! You’re the Best!��That gym is amazing looking, congrats and hoping you guys are enjoying Fort Worth, see ya around.

  • Thanks for this video. I have been dealing with a stalker for years. I met this person at church and immediately this person took it upon themselves to try to get friendly with me. But I knew something was weird about him from the beginning. I kept seeing more of this person and it became very unnerving to the point where I prayed I wouldn’t have to bump into them again. It was a nightmare.

  • Thank you Meg for this video! I’m about to approach the weight lifting universe and this helped me a lot! I also joined the waitlist for the new program!

  • After not working out for 1 2 days ( Rest Days or just wanting to take a break ) I feel Like an unproductive lazy piece of shit and think that I may lose my gains:/

  • 1:38 Master form for several fundamental movement patterns (eg. Squat, hip hinge, push, pull)
    4:12 Progressive overload
    7:17 Get enough protein
    8:17 Prioritise compound movements
    9:52 Mobility

  • Your tips and tutorials for beginners are detailed enough, while still being easy to understand. Your channel has helped me a lot!!

  • My neighbor said to me ” I like ur shirt” I realized my nipples were kind of showing.. It was a black shirt and I didn’t think I looked SLUTTY AT ALL! I’VE ALWAYS been nice to him… The whole family.. So later last night I saw him again & he was like ” it was really NICE “SEEING U” He’s saying all these underlying comments…CREEPING ME OUT!!! THANKS FOR THIS VIDEO XX.. I’M JUST GOING TO STAY AWAY! Disgusting! And I’m married!!!

  • hey meg this might be a silly video idea but I’d love to hear your suggestions on how to pose to show off le muscles ��

    when I first started I definitely spent too much time on accessories and not enough on compound movements �� I’m working with a trainer on the powerlifts right now and I’m loving it

  • Watching your videos always makes me miss the gym!! Goodness I can’t wait to lift again… thanks for the tips… after so long without lifting I feel I’m reverting to beginner status!!

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  • I feel like I’ve been a beginner for like 7 years now �� I can never be consistent and always start over again like every three months.

  • I definitely felt weaker than usual today! Tuesday I felt great and was able to perform well! Than here on Thursday day I felt sluggish and tired. I probably over trained on Tuesday cuz I worked out twice that day with only about a 2 hour rest than I was right back to the weights. I also only got about 3 hours of sleep on Wednesday

  • I felt so weak at my workout today as well as other days For sleep i cannnot for up to 4 or 5hrs a day blc I work longer hrs
    Thanks for the insight

  • I was sitting outside a bakery eating a croissant with my dog and a guy came up and say down next to me and started talking to me. It was completely harmless for about ten minutes and then it got more and more invasive. By the 15 minute mark I tried to get up and leave and he asked for my number and wanted to go on a date with me. He was my fathers age and I am 22. It put a really bad taste in my mouth. Because I love talking to people but if I have to worry about being asked out at the end of the conversation it’s not as fun anymore. I feel your struggle, you did the right thing even if it took a while.

  • Great tips I’m definitely going to try all of this out! Also I recently started taking in a bunch of protein and before I knew anything about it I used to think it’ll make me “fat”(ik Dumb) lol but it made me lose weight faster than anything I was doing before cause I was able to lift heavier and last longer lifting weights rather than before were I was avoiding protein and I was basically skinny unable to go harder in the gym Etc ��

  • Sorry but its hard to sympathise with the guy what he’s outwardly acting badly. you will get what you tolerate… my neighbour is creepy and he behaves like a jxxss. He used to stare at me while training do I changed the times he started to try and bump into me which is vile. Hed complain about his low self esteem and reject my advice I told him I had bad migraines and he started ringing bell and waking me up early 5 am. The landlord told me to record the noise and from then on we are not friends. If hypothyroid and he’d cheer as I gained weight. My stress and high training level caused the issue. Im going to take steps to avoid him leering when doing training as it disrespectful I was in tears. So no I could not like him. I invited him in to be polite had picture of a guy who I was close to. It didn’t work out. He doesn’t wash and is angry. He may have depression but he’s unpleasant all the time. He’s a complete creep and there is nothing to defend. Im doing my exercise indoors as there’s no way I’ll put up with that. such behaviour shouldn’t be tolerated. Im doing well now.

  • So I just got back into fitness after being gone 25 years. Maybe it will help somebody but this is what I did.
    (1) Determine first of all the changes you want to see in your body. Have a very in depth pro con conversation with yourself.
    (2) Throw out the door any ideas about quick super fast change or super fast diets.

    (3) I did my first month of workouts and an old pro told me straight up. Your form sucks you need a trainer lol.

    (4) I got a trainer and I PESTER THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of trainer in a good way.
    (5) Study read videos..do it again..do it again..do it again..
    (6) Lifting weights is like a dance with a Fine lady or a Gentlemen. You don’t Jerk them around the dance floor. You power into the dance moves and gracefully (3-5 second count burn baby) get them back into position for the next dance move.
    (7) If you can find one…which is rare..get a work out partner that is a Sadomasochistic madman that gently tells you. +2 more..+5 more.
    (8) Better yet get family involved and friends because literally the more the merrier and you can all encourage each other.
    SORRY not trying to steal your thunder Megsquats:)

  • Thank you for the pennies analogy!!!!!!! I have been pressured to go ask girls at random on dates so many times and it makes me so mad!!!! It doesn’t make sense to me to walk up to a total stranger whom I have zero interest in. The experience would be so uncomfortable. Even if the person said yes, I would be thinking the whole time, I don’t want to be here, I was told to do this.

  • What a shame that females aren’t taught when they’re young that sometimes it’s okay to be rude if an immature boy or a man who should know better invades your space. If I had a daughter, I would teach her to scream “Fuck off!” at them. But no, no one teaches their daughters this. Parents teach girls to put up and shut up (“He just does it because he likes you”, “It’s just a part of life” Sure), “Be the good girl you always have to be”. Bugger that for a joke. Let it go and don’t take that bullshit anymore.

  • Im a 40 yr old Man. Tall, great shape, good looking have a career but im not superman. im striking out left and right. The enormous amount of wrecked single mother’s out there are so abundant and jaded its unbelievable. I understand at my age most women i meet will have kids. I wish I could find one who doesnt just want to hook up, spend my money, waste my time or be a shoulder to cry on. Just one who actually wants a loving relationship. I wish women had to feel the level of testosterone that men have flowing through them. We’re forced to have to initiate everything which is ok but come on it takes two. As a man we go through so much rejection and drama its rediculous. As a Man I wish women would just tell the fuckin truth one time and be clear and abrupt. Instead of leading a guy on with smoke and mirrors. The last girl I was with I think she faked a suicide attempt just to break up with me. Idk but ive been lied to so much who knows anymore. Im starting to accept I might be alone the rest of my life.