Are You Currently Comfortable Speaking About Sex

 

Owning Your Sexual Power | Amy Jo Goddard | TEDxNapaValley

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Many Men Aren’t Comfortable Talking About Sex

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HOW COMFORTABLE ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SEX

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Do you feel comfortable talking about sex with your friends?

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Do you feel comfortable talking about sex? | Beforeplay.org

Video taken from the channel: Beforeplay.org


 

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT SEX?

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How to Become Comfortable Talking About Sex

Video taken from the channel: Kick Ass Muse


In theory, this should be the person you are most comfortable talking to about sex, your preferences and more. But even in this situation, some still harbor fears of. 0. Working with Sexuality as Healthcare Practitionersa new course!In my experience, very few people are comfortable talking about sex. And if they are, it is usually limited to sex within certain parameters, like penile-vaginal sex, anatomical body parts, or vague references.

While some of us are comfortable talking about sex with our partners, a large number of us are not for a couple of good reasons. The topic itself is cloaked in hesitation, reluctance and. New research finds that comfort with sexual communication is directly linked to sexual satisfaction. People who are more comfortable talking about sex are also more likely to do so while having sex, the researchers found. Nonetheless, that difference doesn’t fully explain why the sexually chatty are happier with their erotic lives.

On a Scale of 1-10, How Comfortable Are You Talking About Sex? May 13, 2015. Sex education supplements what parents aren’t talking about with their kids. She’s been talking about sex with youth since earning her master’s degree in Human Sexuality and Health Education from New York University and has a 6th and a 9th grader of her own.

Regardless, no one likes to talk about it. According to PsychAlive, Why We Should Talk About Sex, when it comes to sex, most people tend to feel there are a lot of “supposed to’s,” as if they are supposed to perform this way or feel that way in a sexual encounter. The fact of the matter is, talking about sex, in a procreative or non-procreative capacity, makes me uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable with my doctor, it makes me uncomfortable with my girlfriends and it definitely makes me uncomfortable when my little niece asks me where baby cows come from. It’s all just really awkward for me.

In real life (except for with my husband, but even that can be weird sometimes), extremely uncomfortable. I’m sure that’s due to all the shame-inducing YW lessons on chastity, plus having messed around a lot with my high school boyfriend (resulting in lots of guilt, horrible repentance experiences, and totally changing my relationship with sex and my body). My husband and I are very comfortable talking to our teens about sex, pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, drugs, alchohol or what have you. We try to instill this comfort level in our teens so that they know they can talk to us about everything good or bad. As a parent, how comfortable are you with these subjects As a teen, can you talk to your parents are they open minded or closed.

Sex is one of the most difficult topics to talk about openly, and there are plenty of people out there who have never had a single honest conversation with a partner about their intimate.

List of related literature:

I was afraid to discuss sex, but once I started to talk about it, and talked about it enough, I realized there was nothing to be afraid of.

“The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships” by Linda Levine, Lonnie Garfield Barbach
from The Intimate Male: Candid Discussions About Women, Sex, and Relationships
by Linda Levine, Lonnie Garfield Barbach
Wellness Institute, Incorporated, 1983

Even if you feel pretty comfortable talking about sex in general, it may be difficult for you to talk openly about sex with your husband.

“No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage” by Juli Slattery
from No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex & Intimacy in Marriage
by Juli Slattery
Focus on the Family, 2011

As adults, we still love to talk about sex—it is so provocative, so personally meaningful, and there are so many unanswered questions to explore.

“The Gender of Sexuality” by Pepper Schwartz, Virginia Rutter
from The Gender of Sexuality
by Pepper Schwartz, Virginia Rutter
Pine Forge Press, 1998

It’s also really reassuring to be able to talk about sex with someone you trust, particularly if you have any questions or concerns, and, of course, being able to discuss sex confidently is very valuable if and when you start having a sexual relationship with someone.

“Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger's Syndrome” by Sarah Attwood
from Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger’s Syndrome
by Sarah Attwood
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2008

It’s all too overwhelming, and in some ways feels inappropriate to be talked about—maybe a little like sex, it’s certainly not dinner conversation.

“How to Smell a Rat: The Five Signs of Financial Fraud” by Kenneth L. Fisher, Lara W. Hoffmans
from How to Smell a Rat: The Five Signs of Financial Fraud
by Kenneth L. Fisher, Lara W. Hoffmans
Wiley, 2010

The sooner we start talking about sex, the better.

“The Parenting Book” by Nicky Lee
from The Parenting Book
by Nicky Lee
Trust Media Distribution, 2009

Open-ended questions are preferable, and it will be more productive to say, “Tell me about your sex life” rather than simply asking, “Do you have sex?”

“Gerontological Nursing: Competencies for Care” by Kristen L. Mauk
from Gerontological Nursing: Competencies for Care
by Kristen L. Mauk
Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2010

Since talking about sex isn’t easy even between adults, talking to children about such a topic is even more difficult.

“Sperm Counts: Overcome by Man's Most Precious Fluid” by Lisa Jean Moore
from Sperm Counts: Overcome by Man’s Most Precious Fluid
by Lisa Jean Moore
NYU Press, 2008

If we are to talk about sex, we must talk about signs, technologies, imaginations, and corporealities.

“Technosex: Precarious Corporealities, Mediated Sexualities, and the Ethics of Embodied Technics” by Meenakshi Gigi Durham
from Technosex: Precarious Corporealities, Mediated Sexualities, and the Ethics of Embodied Technics
by Meenakshi Gigi Durham
Springer International Publishing, 2016

Open-ended questions allow adolescents to begin talking about the good things in sex and the difficult or worrisome aspects of sex.

“Adolescents, Alcohol, and Substance Abuse: Reaching Teens Through Brief Interventions” by Peter M. Monti, Suzanne M. Colby, Tracy A. O'Leary
from Adolescents, Alcohol, and Substance Abuse: Reaching Teens Through Brief Interventions
by Peter M. Monti, Suzanne M. Colby, Tracy A. O’Leary
Guilford Publications, 2004

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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55 comments

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  • Non verbal understanding is so important to recognize in social settings….in private,they all want to speak honestly and do as you wish. Good thoughts Rom.

  • Yessss! Thank you, your speech was amazing. I really hope that in the future we all will recover and find back to our natural wholeness! ��������

  • I know this wasn’t what the video was about but man what is that about when people do that parking thing. I mean that I observed at 2 whenever I’m in a space it could be three cars on the whole parking lot somebody’s going to come and park near me even if I park way in the back. That must be something about human nature

  • There’s also something that a lot of men don’t like to admit if we exclude women from the conversation and what they’re doing. Will say there are no good women and blah blah blah but your penis will still get hard around a Good h*! A woman who is easily orgasmic.

  • Spiritual so, you, ams a lil bit and my main guy stephon clinkscales are beast but my fav is Stephon clinkscales but I can’t forget bout dat other YouTuber the thinkin black man he cool too if I could I’d gather all y’all up for us to convo n I’m 15 soon to be 16

  • I’ve had a couple discussions on safe sex practices with a few friends and I would either get blank stares or ridicule from the men for knowing so much about condoms, lubes and what not. However, certain women were intrigued and would ask specific questions. The only time I would have any genuine discussion about sex with another man was if the other man was gay/bisexual. That should tell you something. Screw the norms. The pursuit of applicable knowledge is vital.

  • First of all, Uncle Rom, how phat was that ass in the beginning of the vid? No matter what, you’re still a LOAFA Brotha. And as such you will notice, look, observe and/or stare. It’s perfectly natural and I can testify to it. But you have to admit, that shit was funny.

    Anyway, as far as men being uncomfortable talking abot sex it’s a lot deeper and the reasons will vary. Some of it has to due with cultural and religious norms that frown upon such discussions. Hence, making it a taboo subject. There’s the societal definition on what it means to be a man. Therefore, you have some type of rigid definition of masculinity and ultimately male sexuality based on societal expectations. So, when you have the discussions on sex among men there’s that sense of insceurity and possible sense of inadequecy that can plague their minds. A lot of it is uncharted territory for many men and they’re afraind to explore it. There is a fear of having other men question one’s masculinity/sexuality. Instead they would rather believe in common misconceptions and myths to avoid having their manhood questioned.

    Women, on the other hand, can be open about sex and sexuality among themselves. In fact, female sexuality is mystified and celebrated. Male sexuality is at times scrutinized or even demonized.

  • Some men may not be comfortable talking about sex, but they ain’t got no problem sending a picture of their dick to a random woman on social media like the thirsty simps that they are. Lol. Smh. Man I rarely talk about sex on social media anymore cause people are to immature and insecure.

    Rom Wills this ain’t got nothing to do with your video, but you don’t need those glasses. Glasses actually strain your eyes vs strengthening them. You’re better off consuming specific types of herbs for eye strength.

  • The clit makes a woman cum..some sex alone can make her cum..most young guys pump for dear life as a result of what’s seen on porn and she still doesn’t cum

  • my moments were probably when my mom found my porn stash. I was young, maybe 13, with these photos of anime or cartoon characters having sex; most often gay couples. and I was told that it was innapropriate and not okay. but I didn’t care, that just made me more rebellious and want to post the most hardcore porn I had on my phone to this fandom account I had….. honestly, I’ve been masturbating since I was probably about….7…… I didn’t really understand quite what i was doing until maybe I was 11 or so, which is that I was humping. and I often find it hard to see men’s sexuality as gentle… or fragile. I only see a man’s sexuality as him jacking it and thinking that’s disgusting. I often find myself having to watch gay porn or submisive male porn to see that they have that whole other side to them.

  • 10:22 on some real shit, that’s one of my most biggest pet peeves “like nigga who are u and why u next to me?” Dudes be on some weird shit��

  • Because of the liberals liberalism feminism simp men pc culture me too and women being sexually duplicitous and hypocritical also they was not taught by their fathers

  • funniest thing is that people with a lot of money can hire prostitutes/sex educators to give them literal COURSES about fucking, but instead they think that getting a better car would make a difference. Guys who are accidentally tricking ask a prostitute to give you some lesson in advance, don’t just bust a nut.

  • We are already teaching boys that loosing their virginity is a big gain a big fucking win. And that they are loosers if they don’t make it there. There are many good men out there I got brothers, male friends and loving boyfriend, BUT there are also those that pressure young girls into sex, so that they themselves can finally stop being virgins. My ex was one of those. He was so desperate to loose it, he didn’t mind coercing me. And this has happened to multiple exclusively female (though I know it can happen to guys as well) friends of mine.

    Because it is already a big race and you dont want to be the last one to loose it.

    We are already celebrating men for having sex (when they are having it with women).

    We need to celebrate women, too and end the disgusting double standard that creates slut-shaming.

    And we also need to make it clear: If you don’t feel ready, if you don’t like it, if you want to wait that is totally fine take as much time as you need. Young people need to hear that, just as often as “go, do it, own it”.

  • After watching you, C Boogie, ARC, and Cousin Tee Taw, the secret to women, appears to be sex appeal, vibrancy, confidence, and the ability to have sex with her. The status is one in terms of progression, but status in terms of occupation and money do not matter, or not as much. Am I correct?

  • If it’s a girl i haven’t done anything with I’m not comfortable bringing up sex. Not that confident on the mutual interest. & not that skilled that you don’t come off thirsty

  • Love this fragment: “The more whole we are as sexual beings, the more fulfilled we are as human beings.” It is time to end the inquisition against our sexuality and against our existence as humans, body, mind and soul.

  • OUTSTANDING VIDEO that raises an excellent point.

    To me, there’s a gulf of a distinction in between “talking about sex” and the “act of sex” (performing, having your partner be fulfilled,etc). Many people come from environments where there was an early exposure to sex (and I’m not talking about sexualized images in the media, manner of dress, etc. I’m talking about actual sex). I’m not gonna say thats good or bad because I’ve seen both.

    What I can say is many guys have been programmed to not talk about sex on the onset and that more than likely a response to the “noise” thats been said for years.

    -“all men wanna do is talk about sex” (or any variation of this thats been said)
    -“is that all you have on your mind”
    & most of all
    -“He talked all that shit before hand and was nothing when it came time for business”

    That last point could make an entire video (maybe I should add this to mine hmmm) on why despite those bellows, why do many STILL respond to what could be deemed as “sexually overt” conversation?

    The answer is simple, those more comfortable at the conversational level (damn whats said) can easily escalate things to the “primal” level vs those that arent.

  • Obviously I am very candid about my experiences. I’m too comfortable in my own skin. Sex is a beautiful thing, especially when everything is up front and open. I’m not talking about making babies because the sex that produced my son wasn’t the best sex I ever had.I’m talking about that recreational sex where both partners are doing their best to make the other tap out.I’m talking about multiple rounds,taking water breaks in between like a prize fight.

  • A powerful, strong and beautiful talk. This talk has a level of compassion, honesty and insight that is rarely seen nowadays. Thank you Amy Jo.

  • When you open up Pandora box and understand the sexual mind of a woman, it hard as hell to close it. People like being around you Bro Rom because you magnetic it can be very irritating…..lol; their you go opening another worm hole with the tip of shadow world

  • I can say most men knowledge of sex come from places like:
    Parents
    Porn source
    friends
    Trial errors
    Old relationship..
    Most men dont feel confident from these resources therefore they tend to be very cautious on there imput…I once met a dude that told me head thought that giving a women oral was for men who couldnt perform…and this man was 35yrs old….he was dead serious…so every man is different….i personally dont agree but like i said every man is different

  • You are speaking truth. Sex remains the unspoken elephant in the room. Men have to learn to satisfy their women on all levels. A friend of mine said either her men are smart, make money, communicate well, or have great sex. She can never find all these things in one man. This piggy backs off of your article and comment of men being well rounded and matching up with the right woman on all or most aspects. Men teach men to become men. Most men are scared to talk sex, others don’t know enough to talk sex, a percentage can’t separate porn from reality. Most claim Red Pill but they are not Rom. Teach them about swag and confidence the way only you can, oh, and PLEASE teach them to read more.

  • All true.

    I have no idea why people refuse to accept the real truth:

    ��It all revolves around sex��

    Everything else is secondary. Sex is the primary function between a Male and a female.

    The cold part is……women know this…..but they have to lie to themselves or hide this fact because MOST men cannot give them the sex they really want. Which further decreases their options��

  • 1:40 for the dudes that really be giving females the business most of them don’t like everyone knowing. They seen the dudes that are good and brag about it deal with tires shaped and stalkers. They typically keep it humble unless a female personally is asking them post sexual encounter.

  • I enjoy watching this guys videos to hear what he has to say but I swear his favorite phrases are:

    1. That’s too deep for yall
    2. I’ll have to do that in another video
    3. I aint sayin no names
    4. Yall aint ready for that
    5. You gon’ have to pay for that

  • I mean.. sex is a part of life and sex is the driving force for courtships, matriage, etc..so that goes a long way in a relationship man

  • I just noticed something and it just clicked in my head uncle rom. Throughout my life, all my friends when I see them talk about sex in the open in front of women in a charismatic funny way, they get hella open. Lol

  • You’re MAGNETIC, UNC!! Same happens to me!! ����‍♂️ not just with parking..walking on the street, people will start in one side of the sidewalk and will end up walking right into me if I dont move out the way..(now i hit em wit a lil elbow, on the way out, Lol.)

  • Amy Jo Goddard. I want you!  You’re incredibly hot!  Tell me please, are you seeing anyone these days? Can I hang out with you, please???

  • I try to to catch the 3 am drops but the car drops are priceless. Had to put to my glasses ( had to put it in focus ���� ) without realizing sometimes I get caught up in my thoughts… whala ( an ��) respect to being a deep thinker.

  • You’re right Rom, most men have a way at times of coercing women into sex instead of actually talking about it, I love a man who can actually give me a visual with words before it actually takes place, great convo!

  • I remember riding a microphone stand as a child, Lol, and my mom caught me and reprimanded me for it. But I know now there’s nothing wrong with feeling good, with wanting to feel good.

  • Two thousand years of generations dictated by Religion. When Religion falsely preaches that it’s msg is love. Stealing from people.

  • In relation to your parking space peves I can relate, sometimes when i’m sitting on a empty bus, some dude with choose to come sit Right next to me, with all those empty seats available. Why. That just gets my blood boiling too ya know. ��, it would’ve been great had it been a women. We all know what th a means. ������

  • I’m trapped in a sexless marriage, how then do I fix my brokenness? An affair? The price to pay for an affair seems too high for me,I can’t afford it, neither can my children, nice message but impractical.

  • Apart from her incredible content and way of talking, I just gotta saywow, this woman has the most beautiful voice and radiates the most beautiful… feeling. Wow.

  • The funny thing about it is, most men didn’t grow up with their father so the only teacher they have about sex is the internet and other men who didn’t grow up with Father’s either! Most of us be guessing and hyping ourselves up about stuff that ain’t even real or relavent to actual game. So it makes sense that when it comes to talking about sex for real, most of us are clueless

  • I really do wonder what one is capable of accomplishing in any area of one’s life the more one’s erotic nature is relieved of buried shame and made optimal.

  • when i was in first grade I drew a picture of a heart and colored it pink with crayon and i left it in the cubby of a girl who i thought was pretty, it was valentines day and i felt compelled to do such a thing, i wasn’t in love but i chose her out of whim.. i guess she found it and gave it to my friends because they found me and asked if i had drawn it, i said yes and they laughed raucously and left,, it was very strange..

  • Just bringing another facet to this discussion: We need to not forget that a lot of us feel safer in monogamous relationships, that STD’s still exist-and that years of evolution and our Biology are skewed towards safety.

    It is a scientific fact that women tend to release more oxytocin during and after sex -which leads to pair bonding. So a series of casual relationships can work for some, but I believe, can be harmful for a great many others. I want to go into the details, because that can be a thesis in itself, but I think the biggest player in this equation is women really standing up for what they want and not deferring to another’s pushing- for example, when they engage in sex expecting love in return.
    We need to understand that this is usually not the way it is for most men.

    Man on the other hand need to go back to understanding women and llearning to control their urges and find out what the women want, before pushing their own agendas.

    We don’t just fornicate like animals-Human sexuality begins in the mind and the heart. Good things come to those who wait, a good story is created by suspense and A rubber band snaps back to the extent that you pull with strongly.

    Mutual respect amongst the sexes and developing relationship -as well as courtship and some degree of sexual tension make for a dynamic and ever evolving sex life.

  • What’s up Big Rom, just getting in on a Friday morning I enjoyed yesterday evening and I just caught up with a younglady that I dated a few years back she’s the type of female when I was married she approached me saying that she knew I wanted some different pussy I was appalled knowing that I had been watching her since I was 12 years old never thinking that I would’ve ended up having her as a lover she’s seven years older than myself man we both was talked so much shit while we was getting it in once she’s with you and every thing is mutual you are suppose to domenate her in a sential way then your going to say bring that ass back with a lite smooth smack on that ass with her telling you daddy daddy don’t bust her ass going with soothing strokes with a loose choke and her other lims tied up with some rope and when you get through she’ll be chasing you like you put her ass on dope.

  • That was fantastic Amy Jo. I wanted your talk to keep going on and on. Very interesting and weLL delivered. Have you written any books?

  • Pre-Vatican II Irish Catholic guilt and shame were always on tap at my house. Now that I am in a wheelchair, paralyzed, I truly hope there’s another life after this one. I’m going to be a Brazilian soccer star given the chance.

  • Either they aren’t endowed or they don’t wanna realize how much they don’t know. Either way, the insecurity from men just gotta stop

    SN: you might have a man stalking you cuz you got a girl that he likes, liking you.

  • I m an indian and in India “loosing virginity” is supposed to be a sin/ crime. my mother thinks the girls who get unmarried til their 32-35 age, are still virgins..she seriously thinks so…I m very helpless with her thought.

  • the more empowered sexual will mean healing your emotions and your Belief systems..most of the time we don’t even we carry the luggages around.

  • Yeah we figured people would ASK if you wanted to be in a group��. It’s just like people pulling in behind you in a parking lot when there is plenty of space, it’s an interesting violation of your personal space.

  • Wait… That many people feel that way? What?.. I am feeling extremely lucky now for never have experienced that kinda negativity. It’s crazy. That’s for the sharing.

  • Especially on the non-select side of things. Men might suppress their sexuality, while probably believing that women are doing the same. Women might not want to be perceived in a certain way, so some men might not be able to perceive women, beyond how they present themselves in public. Basically like what you said about what men might notice on the surface.

  • sistah what a great lecture I almost feel like getting it on with an ol bfriend now
    I love sex but when u hear some1 say it so beautifully it is beautiful………ler……..thanks,,,,

  • Shame. Wow. The worst spiritual scar I have is from that.
    I drew a picture at the age of nine, of a man and woman, making simple love. I even drew wedding rings on their fingers because I’d realized that one day, I could marry a woman that loved me, and that we could hold each other and touch each other and kiss each other and make love to one another whenever we wanted. It was the most beautiful thing I could imagine.
    My mother found it and beat me with a belt.
    And every day of my life afterward, that shadow has been over my heart, my mind, my soul, and I don’t know that I’ll ever find a way past it alone.

  • And you’re correct, that we’re not broken, unless we’re committing acts upon others with the intention TO break them. At that point, a person is indeed a broken human being, sexually.