A Brand New Healthy Holiday Tradition for each Family

 

What Will Happen When Queen Elizabeth II Dies?

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Tia Mowry’s Top 10 Family Holiday Traditions| Quick Fix

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When Cousins Marry (Genetic Disorder Documentary) | Only Human

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FAMILY HOLIDAY TRADITIONS! | Millennial Moms

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Add Your Family Health History to Your Holiday Traditions

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New holiday traditions & rethinking the holidays (subtítulos en español)

Video taken from the channel: DoctorRamani


 

Holiday hygiene for dealing with narcissistic family members

Video taken from the channel: DoctorRamani


A New Healthy Holiday Tradition for Every Family The holidays are a good time to encourage your family to talk about the family’s medical history, so you can get a better understanding of your inherited risks. Here are some ways to make that easier: Put it in your calendar: Along with scheduling all the holiday-related activities on your list, schedule time for your Do it with the family: Build in self-care time for the whole family. It might be a yoga class together, a. You’ll stay rested, fueled, and healthy during the holidays! If you are eager to start a new tradition, we have a few ideas to get you started!

Go Christmas Caroling or Enjoy Family Holiday Game Night. This may seem old-fashioned but the fun continues. Singing Christmas carols gets your family moving and is an opportunity to make long-lasting memories!

Board games are like synonymous with family gatherings. Nothing gets people going like a good old fashioned board game! This is an activity that gets everyone involved and participating and is one that can be enjoyed at all ages.

You don’t have to worry about the kids getting side of this tradition as they age. Luckily, there are a few healthy holiday traditions to implement that will make you feel great this time of year and in control of your health. Get Active With the Family Lace up those sneakers and plan a fun activity that gets you sweating. Go for a family walk or jog or sign up for a 5K fun run.

When reflecting on past holiday seasons, one thing remains ever-present – the traditions you share with others. Whether simple or extravagant, holiday traditions have a way of making the winter season feel special. To kick off the holidays, we’ve asked Healthier Generation staff, partners, and representatives from America’s Healthiest Schools to share their favorite healthy holiday.

So, making cookies can and should still be a holiday tradition. But in place of making sugar cookies with tons of frosting, why not make honey sweetened pecan cookies? And instead of having lots of unhealthy food around when family comes over, fill the house with smells of healthy butternut squash soup, kale herb salads, spiced nuts, and rosemary wreaths. 10 Healthy Holiday Traditions to Try This Year A Season Filled With Health and Happiness. Most families have holiday traditions, big and small — such as a certain dish Plan a Fun Outdoor Holiday Activity.

The cold weather causes many people to take their family holiday activities Bake. The creation of new traditions and rituals provides you the opportunity to find meaningful and lasting ways to remember loved ones. Further, it allows those who have died to play a continuous role in holiday celebrations going forward. We’re going to provide you with a few ideas for creating new holiday traditions after a death. The best part of the family holiday tradition is actually doing the activity.

Enjoy every minute together as a family. Sure, some things may not go as planned, but enjoy yourself despite any problems. After the activity, decide as a family if the activity is going to become a new family holiday tradition.

List of related literature:

All families should be encouraged to eat at least one meal a day together so they can have time to share experiences and “touch base” with each other.

“Maternal & Child Health Nursing: Care of the Childbearing & Childrearing Family” by Adele Pillitteri
from Maternal & Child Health Nursing: Care of the Childbearing & Childrearing Family
by Adele Pillitteri
Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2010

Perhaps no other holiday in the United States better symbolizes the relationship between food and family than Thanksgiving.

“Pressure Cooker: Why Home Cooking Won't Solve Our Problems and what We Can Do about it” by Sarah Bowen, Joslyn Brenton, Sinikka Elliott
from Pressure Cooker: Why Home Cooking Won’t Solve Our Problems and what We Can Do about it
by Sarah Bowen, Joslyn Brenton, Sinikka Elliott
Oxford University Press, 2019

Pennsylvania families often consider the traditional pork and sauerkraut dinner on New Year’s Day to be a family obligation.

“Encyclopedia of American Folklife” by Simon J Bronner
from Encyclopedia of American Folklife
by Simon J Bronner
Taylor & Francis, 2015

People used the holiday to come together as family for a festive meal.

“Religions of the Ancient World: A Guide” by Sarah Iles Johnston
from Religions of the Ancient World: A Guide
by Sarah Iles Johnston
Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2004

Our change started the year I exhausted myself to make a traditional Thanksgiving meal that none of my children would eat.

“Parenting Across the Autism Spectrum: Unexpected Lessons We Have Learned” by Maureen Morrell, Ann Palmer
from Parenting Across the Autism Spectrum: Unexpected Lessons We Have Learned
by Maureen Morrell, Ann Palmer
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2006

In a society in which most families are not home for the noon meal, however, this custom can be practiced only on weekends and holidays.

“Mosby's Pocket Guide to Cultural Health Assessment E-Book” by Carolyn D'Avanzo
from Mosby’s Pocket Guide to Cultural Health Assessment E-Book
by Carolyn D’Avanzo
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2008

As children can never have a ‘holiday’ from their diabetes, they need a great deal of encouragement to continuously maintain good control.

“Illustrated Textbook of Paediatrics E-Book: With STUDENT CONSULT Online Access” by Tom Lissauer, Graham Clayden
from Illustrated Textbook of Paediatrics E-Book: With STUDENT CONSULT Online Access
by Tom Lissauer, Graham Clayden
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

Despite hectic schedules and multiple demands, the family meal is an important ritual in the prevention of obesity and the maintenance of healthy weight for all families.

“Encyclopedia of Family Health” by Martha Craft-Rosenberg, Shelley-Rae Pehler
from Encyclopedia of Family Health
by Martha Craft-Rosenberg, Shelley-Rae Pehler
SAGE Publications, 2011

As is the tradition in many American families, the focus of the celebration is on the meal itself, where the menu rarely changes (turkey, stuffing, potatoes, green beans, pumpkin pie).

“Family Routines and Rituals” by Barbara H. Fiese
from Family Routines and Rituals
by Barbara H. Fiese
Yale University Press, 2006

Here’s another idea for families: Plan holiday rituals around helping others.

“How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results” by Esther Wojcicki
from How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results
by Esther Wojcicki
HOUGHTON MIFFLIN, 2019

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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159 comments

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  • The DAY ( mind you that same day ) my grandmothers health degraded ( she was the boss in my grandparents house.. good old days ) the covert narc female buried under powerful rational peoples power ( including her kids ) reared her ugly head and when we went to see my grandmother, i was the first person she attacked with full force on my pain points so much so that it hurts even today after two years. After brutal emotional attack, i have stopped going there where once upon a time used to be our maryland, where once upon a time used to be my maryland ����

  • The inappropriateness of Narcissists makes me wonder what their intelligence levels really are! ������
    Being a little smart doesn’t make one a fricken genius!��

  • Thank you for speaking about boundaries, and not just assuming people know what you are talking about. “You need better boundaries” is just another failure for those raised/in long term relationships with narcissists. Those boundaries were purposely eroded away over years, or never allowed.

  • I cant even begin to understand why this is allowed. It’s a crying shame and should be illegal to do. Sorry it might be their custom but if this should illegal to do.

  • It’s not a matter of insest that this condition came about, it’s only genetics and chance. Even if his parents were from different families but happened to posses the gene of the condition dominantly or recessively, it still might occur. Let’s just say it’s quite unfortunate that chance had afforded the family such an unpleasant condition. Furthermore, I find it naive that people who have no experience of any sort with such hardships to exhibit strong emotions of whether the parents are to blame or not (the comment section), it’s not your place to have a say, PERIODT.
    As for the researchers, I beg to disagree. It seems a bit armature to me that this is sampled only on people/parents who happen to be cousins when in actuality rear genetic conditions can also occur in the offspring of different family trees.
    At the end of the day, everything happens for a reason.

  • I take a Xanax, drink a little wine, stay very quiet, don’t ask them any questions and NEVER get too close physically…I don’t give that snake a chance to try to hug me…oh and have your phone in your pocket recording in case they lie about you.

  • I’ve got to learn how to create healthy boundaries. I have a narc mother that I’m still trying to recover from her abuse and then a beauty shop that I run daily and deal with narcs all the time. It seems I cannot escape them.

  • Dear Dr. Ramani, I have a request could you please make a series of videos about dealing with POST-BREAKUP? How to deal with the major types of situations one is exposed to after leaving a narcissist, how to deal with a discard, what do you recommend as steps to heal… Thank you very much for considering this.

  • Can I please ask you to cover how you can help children/young person living with a narcissistic parent? So difficult & distressing to see & be unable to help in any great way. Thank you for all you do here on youtube. Still trying to get your latest book here in the UK ��

  • I do an advent activity countdown with 23 things to do that includes charity, decorating christmas tree, writing christmas cards, ice-skating, dressing up as santa or elves, making food, drinking hot cocoa things like that. I do hope I can keep it as a Christmas ritual!!! But it’s really a bit tiring to complete all of them. And every year I come up with something new to do!!! But Christmas is such a great time to wallow in that spirit!!!

  • Understanding narcissism in the family helped me establish boundaries after decades of triangulation was ultimately for me a strangulation. Within a week I felt so much freer and understood this had been at the root of a long lasting depression for which I had been taking SSRIs. I was able to come off them in a matter of weeks and enjoy the most settled Christmas in memory: low key, intimate, thoughtful, and most of all aware.

  • I love you Tia Mowry you are my favourite charter on YouTube I love your channel that I love you countuine what you’re doing the Lord God will bless you and your family love you ❤❤❤❤❤��������������������������������❤❤❤❤❤❤❤����������������������������������������������������������

  • My birthday was on the 23rd and my narcissistic mother called me at 7:20 to tell me she couldn’t spend time with me because it was �� raining. On Christmas morning She told me I didn’t have manners and insulted my career. She didn’t even give me a chance to call her and already accused me of being with no manners. She insulted me and I just hung up.

  • I shut my relative Narcs, down with, “That is water over the waterfall, we don’t need to talk about that. And then shout..” “Merry Christmas”! Since my relatives, are very old, this deflection, works. Then everyone shouts, “Merry Christmas”! My boyfriend was amazed by this, he quickly figured it out. There is a few minutes of collecting one’s thoughts after the shouting of this. But we are always giggling..the Narcs want to be a part of this club. Merry Christmas!!!

  • I’ve got to learn how to create healthy boundaries. I have a narc mother that I’m still trying to recover from her abuse and then a beauty shop that I run daily and deal with narcs all the time. It seems I cannot escape them.

  • My mother destroyed the holidays for me. Everything related to church, family dinners, gift giving, decorating the Christmas tree etc. My remedy has been to go back into history further for traditions. So this year I am bringing my daughter to an outdoor museum similar to colonial Williamsburg where they will have sleigh rides, carolers a nice dinner etc. I play the baroque 18th flute and play Christmas songs no one has heard of. My mothers traditions are more rooted in the 20th century so this way I really avoid anything that she has pretty much ruined regarding the holidays. It also makes me feel connected with something larger and more authentic.

  • My narcissistic mother pretended to ‘forget’ my birthday in Oct and this Christmas. Just wow, she made sure she told me about a massive amount of $$ moved from one bank to another. While at the same time always saying she wants me to move to the state she lives in… as live with her…. no no no. But WHY PRETEND TO FORGET CHRISTMAS?? I don’t get it

  • I moved away and have come to let go of traveling to visit-can’t afford it. I no longer engage in one-way-street relationships. I have had wonderful gatherings with my friends. I have been blessed with many kind and generous friends wherever I have lived. These are the memories that warm my heart.

  • Thank you for your advice. I’m suffering from empty nest syndrome, stuck with my narc husband of 30 years, struggling not to be so sad right now. I need to make some new traditions so I can enjoy the holidays!! Merry Christmas to you & your family!!

  • Sorry but aint nothing blocking my Netflix or Etrade over some old lady. I’m sure Millions of people don’t care if she dies or not king or queen don’t give a damn..! Elon musk death will be a very Sad day in History a guy who changed the world, A person who actually did something ��

  • Thank you for this video Dr Ramani. I would love to see a video on narcissism and happiness: can narcissists be happy? Are they satisfied with the way they live their lives? Or are they tormented by they insecurities?

  • I like your cooking shows and you have great ideas it’s nice to see how you love your familyAnd love being a wife and mother as well as an Intelligent Business Woman who is a Wonderful personAs well and you encourage women and people in General. Keep up the good work �� and it’s nice to see that you love to cook and entertain as well as spend time with your family. Your really coolI wish you blessings and successThank You.

  • Happy Christmas to all you lovely empaths. You don’t need any fake narcissist types. You are better than that. Spend time with genuine people who care and have your best interests at heart. Make 2020 a year where you have 2020 vision & avoid toxic types. Thank Dr R for all your help. I didn’t know what a narcissist was before May this year and now I realise that my dad was one, my sister in law, mother in law and cousin is one and my Aunty, Mum, Hubby and I are highly empathic. Ummmm who do you think I’m spending Xmas with this year now I have ‘the knowledge’??? And guess who doesn’t have to be on guard as the scapegoat any more! Discard the toxic emotional vampires and unite the lovelies. Also please can you do a video on why my NPD sister in law copied everything I did… Like idolised me then scapegoated next when i set boundaries. Everything was copied including even having a baby just after me even though there was no husband or boyfriend, every book I read, my recipes, where I holiday etc many many things… and measured everything, kids up against me. I need help on that. ��

  • Thinking of you all. I just removed the narcs from my life. It’s respect to yourself. Rely on yourself �� to survive and spend time with the self for meaningful work xxxx life is what you make it and you don’t have to do with those relationships

  • I decided yesterday to do exactly the same thing for Christmas, as I did last year.
    Stay in no contact. ( I’m so Not interested in being with them ).
    I wrote a letter to them for Christmas then put it in the draw.
    I felt good afterwards & am not giving the letter card, to them because I LOVE no contract. Lol

  • I think people expect people to grow up so this year will be different. �� they never do……The next day and I noticed they never do!!!! I dont know if you can ever be fully prepared for the new drama for the specail day.

  • My father has NPD (diagnosed). He will only give gifts (and cheap ones at that) to the women he’s having sex with. Also, he was massively late every year for dinner like, 4-6 hours late! He’d then walk in to mine or my sister’s house with his chin up as if to say, “rejoice, my friends, your king is now here, and you may now celebrate my presence on this holiday that was created just for me”. Pathetic loser…

  • I will be sleeping during the holidays. I will call the family members I love on the phone. Not going to be nice all the time; not any more.

  • When my parents were alive, I would have anxiety months in advance to the holidays dreading the predictable emotional head on collision to come. At the same time still having that hopeful child in me thinking MAYBE my mom would be kind to me. In essence, it never happened & I again set myself up for disappointment. This was all my doing becuz my mom was wired to be her selfish empty self. No matter how much I tried it was never appreciated. I could count on her critical cold unloving self. It’s taken me lifetime struggling with myself to accept this more than with her. I’m finally free of her verbal abuse becuz she died 10 years ago. So difficult to mindfully understand the narcissist yet emotionally feel the blunt force of her cruelty becuz I always longed for her love that never came. I’m old now. I still wonder what it would have been like to have a loving relationship with my mom.

  • Literally since my ex narc hated being around my family, i lost alot of quality time with my family that i loved very much and it felt very forcedme trying to prove to my family he was “good” and it was exhausting. Especially around Christmas time which made me just lose my spirit during these days. He was so anti-social about all these things which made me real sadeven thinking to have a family with him. Luckily i dodged that bullet! Yay����
    Fast forward to now, my family and I are finally excited just to be around each other☺️ no presents (just yet2020’s the one for us lol) but we are all good with this�� we are just gonna spoil our nephew and niece on the way lol this time round is gonna be awesome☺️����❤️

  • Thank you once again for helping us all prepare and save ourselves lot’s of anguish especially during the hectic holidays. Much appreciation for your work, and all the knowledge you bring

  • Yes Dr. Ramani, I am going to give to those who have been in a disaster and are in need. After a year of hell with my narc siblings, I’m giving me the gift of no contact. Merry Christmas to ME! Thank you Jesus!

  • What’s up Doc? In stead of the usual boring Narcissist stuff let’s switch gears and dissect some YouTube videos of normal human behavior okay? Let’s start with some good old “Chicken fights”. Popeye’s Restaurant. I want a full unbias medical report on these. Don’t you think dinner and entertainment go hand in hand on a date? LOL

  • Right. you anticipate it, are over sensitive to it, and they know you wait on egg shells to be victimized by their misconduct. They’re very much the testy willful crybaby who knows the adults are un nerved by his fit throwing in public. And they desperately need a spanking, a nap, or a time out.. but they’re too old for that. You’ll get arrested. lol If you can think of them that way, it helps with your self confidence to go ahead in your good habits to make the most of your life irregardless of their crying brat fits in words or behavior. Also as always, don’t believe anything they say or give it meaning and truth. It’s THEIR shit which they are flinging at you like a ridiculous monkey. Don’t catch it. They are in no position to criticize others as they’re NOT even honest with themselves. They’re huge emotional crybabies possessed by bitter fate/Grudge Self which consumes them. Their mental house is very small and their super ego does not let them BE there.. so why give them a place in your mind. If you care.. if you cry.. if you accept fate.. YOU are a far bigger and better person than they are.

  • I could really use help with a situation. My MIL and SIL are the narcs. My MIL is the ringleader and plays my husband like a fiddle. They have engaged in a smear campaign about me our entire marriage (10 years), therefore I avoided them. They live 12 hours away so I would refuse to go to holiday functions and let my husband go alone. They work him over to lean on me to come. To weave in some additional history, we had CPS show up at hour home. TWICE! Thankfully, they never substantiated either called in accusation but we were left wondering who did it. I’m sure you have figured this one out already. It came to light it was those conniving narcs. They were unapologetic almost 2 years until my husband had an anaphylactic reaction and nearly died. His sister apologized but is not owning up to everything. But hubby is satisfied and thinks I should be too. His mother has never apologized. They put my special needs son at risk and my husband thinks I am just being a witch. I know their character hasn’t changed. My husband is the type that is willingly blind to have what he wants. To me, these women have blown so far past toxic and dangerous, therefore, I am done forever. How to help my husband see this has been impossible.

  • I don’t miss Politics at the Christmas Table, been away from it for 4 years now and so much happier for it! Trying to discuss serious topics with a bunch of Hillary supporters….Nuff Said!

  • Hello Tia you are amazing person very wonderful great tradition! Also congratulations on having a new baby My Family tradition for Christmas is that we listened to Christmas music while decorating the Christmas tree.

  • Whenever someone tries to make you feel miserable, that shows that person is even more miserable to begin with, even if they’re trying to spread their poison with a smile on their face.

  • Thank you for all that you do to educate us regarding narcissism. It is really helping me to heal from past traumas and has helped me to deal with difficult people in my job. I wish you happy holidays and a very happy new year!��

  • I am having the BEST holiday season this year! NM would start in right after Thanksgiving how much she hated Christmas and wants to just wake up on Jan 2 and it all be over. I tried pleasing that woman every single year! NO MORE!! I sent her a generic card in the mail. Done✔️

  • I can’t stand the way I allow the narcissists in my life to alter the way I feel about myself, and I can’t stand the way I feel about them when I have to be around them.
    God help me (and others like me) to get through Christmas Eve and Day.

  • Good Points! Yet, I was triggered! �� Memories about past interactions with “perverts” in the Christmas season, how does one prevent these “recurring uneasiness?” During the holidays. Dr. Ramani I appreciate your words of wisdom in this season. ❤️

  • My ex took advantage of my family not making my girls and i welcome on holidays because they are special needs, by insisting we follow her holiday traditions. Unfortunately, for her once she realized I would not just give in anymore, that meant spending every calendar holiday (including birthday ) with here husband and his family. I had zero room to request even rotating holidays without a fight.

  • My mother shows some narcissistic behaviours (but not others). Point is, she becomes unbearable over Christmas. It has to be HER place, the same dish every year, everybody has to come (don’t you dare celebrate with your spouse’s family instead), everything has to be PERFECT and if it’s not, there will be terror. I’ve spent more than one Christmas crying in a corner because she gave screamed at me for hours because I put the ornaments on the tree before she told me to.

    But no more. A couple of years ago, my husband and me decided that Christmas is at our place now, we cook what we want, we invite everybody and if you don’t like it, old woman, you can just bloody well stay at home. Since then, she has grudgingly learned to hold herself in check for the most part.

  • Stopped going on vacation, stopped going to restaurants, stopped going to any form of celebration all because the narcissist just ruined it every damn time

  • Hi Dr. Ramani. Happy Holliday. I feel rushed to get away.As usual.i don’t navigate.too good on my internet. You have given me hope. Bob

  • My narcissistic parents have cut communication with my sister, none of the grandkids want to be around them, have been disrespectful to my husband and myself for many years so my family does not want them around. If they came, my dad would play Eeyore and sulk in the corner and bring everyone down. Last year we suggested seeing them on Christmas Eve rather than Christmas Day but they declined. Dad wouldn’t let me speak to my mom who had been recovering from a stroke, for about 2 months. The same thing will probably happen again this year. I won’t force my healthy family to be around my parents (I’m adopted by the way). Yet I feel guilty for them being alone on Christmas. Anyone else relate or have advice?

  • Oh man, this is sad. This is one tradition that needs to end immediately…The justification that they’ll have more love and stronger bonds between married couples who are closely related is just insane and I can find no logic there whatsoever. That’s the god damn stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Knowingly bringing children into the world who could very likely suffer immensely is unconscionable. I don’t enjoy disrespecting anyone’s culture but I just can’t respect this part of their culture. There’s nothing respectable about inflicting unnecessary and undue pain and suffering onto children.

  • My birthday is weeks before Christmas and my narcissist husband that I am now separated from never bought me any birthday gift or Christmas gift and complained about the gift I got him for Christmas. One year I bought myself a gift so that I would have something to open and he mocked me and said “who buys themselves a Christmas gift?” I said, well I like to open gifts too. Although we were just separated June 2019, I invited him for Christmas and my birthday this year for the sake of our daughter and he gave me a store gift card that I was embarrassed at the register when there was no money placed on the card.

  • This is the first Christmas without my toxic extended family. I am so looking forward to just spending
    the two days with my immediate family. Baked pasta and ice cream for dessert, along with sports
    on TV, and PEACE.:)

  • The narc didn’t like me taking pictures of my kids while opening presents and he also didn’t want to go to church and made me feel guilty if I went instead of spending time with him.

  • My son had a speech therapist who was narcissist. She didn’t bother to consider whether we would want our children to know there wasn’t a Santa Claus. Our children were really young at that time. Poor kids went through a depressed state over that Christmas. Then I read an article about a family that had a treasure hunt on Christmas morning. I loved the idea. So then on my husband and I would hide the presents, write clues. Then the children would get the envelope of clues on Christmas morning after the chores were done. They loved it! It brought back the excitement. Then when we moved back to the same state as family, my mother in law and sister in law would come on Christmas Eve. We would have a lovely dinner, and after the children went to bed, we’d drink, hide presents, write the clues and giggle like children. My children are grown adults now, but they remember the treasure hunts fondly.

  • My narcissistic mother and my narcissistic husband and his narcissistic mother have never entertained the idea of merging our families together for the holidays and when I suggest it I got a big NO. Sorry for wanting our families to get to know eachother now that we’re married?

  • My narc family could never sour me on the holidays because I’ve always been my own person & never depended on others to make me happy—just one of the perks of being an introvert with endless interests. �� I love festiveness. Pretty decorations, special food, evocative music…it’s ALL good. ��

    I’m grateful to be a natural observer of behavior, because decades before I knew about narcissism (formally), I was already compiling notes in my head. I saw that they would sabotage any holiday or happy occasion, though it was never (logically) evident why…their drive to do it was just ever-present. My mom always says THIS year, it’ll be different. I don’t know what her specific expectations are…and the funny thing is, SHE doesn’t know, either…lol. Some people don’t use logic, and that’s her, 100% of the time. She feels entitled to her own facts, and her core beliefs are rooted in magical thinking.

    As a kid, life hurt….EVERY. DAMN. DAY. But as an adult, I’ve made good choices, understanding how the world works, and in what ways people are hard-wired. I already figured out on my own that some people can’t and won’t change, and that I just have to avoid being in their energy field, altogether.

    Because I like to celebrate for “no” reason (being ever-grateful and taking nothing for granted makes this easy), I’ve created my own holiday tradition of MAKING something on holidays, esp. when the stores are closed. This way, I always associate the holiday anniversary with something positive and tangible, that I can also use regularly.

    If you’re a maker of any sort, or are creative in any way, create on every holiday, and you’ll always associate them with joyful memories. It gets into your muscle memory, DISPLACING the bad childhood ones. Seriously….it works every time. If, however, you’re someone who likes being around other people, I don’t know what to suggest. ��‍♀️

  • My solace is that my mother does not have so much narcissistic supply in my siblings. We’ve been celebrating holidays without her for years and it feels so good!

  • My never to be missed holiday tradition began with my Grandfather from the time I was about 5 years old, and now I enjoy doing this myself TREMENDOUSLY every year. I take a walk in nature [no matter what the weather] on Christmas Eve & Christmas day. Look at the trees, listen to the birds, see some animals, just appreciate the winter season and the solitude and fresh air are sort of like my ‘church’ experience [ I am not religious].  It is my gift to myself and is pure peace and relaxation. I also take a few ‘night walks’ after dark with a friend to enjoy the holiday lights on homes in my neighborhood. My narc mother [extreme malignant narc] has destroyed Christmasintentionallymy whole life and still today. She is especially angrylike, ‘rage state’ angrywhen I begin to decorate my home with ornaments and baubles that give me great joy. She makes sure to kill that. Starts bellowing ‘I hate Christmas! I hope you aren’t going to decorate again! What a bunch of ugly crap! Why are you bothering? No one is going to see it anyway. All that effort and you will take it down in 3 weeks. What a waste of time. It looks stupid and childish. You don’t have children, so what is wrong with you? Don’t you have anything better to do? I hate all of it! I will be so glad when all of this comes down!!!!!!!’try listening to this on autoplay and feel anything but dejected, belittled, and sad. That’s her goal, I realizeknowing she has wrecked Christmas [again] gives her a real boost. She also complains bitterly and is very angry when I get her a gift, that she proceeds to run down, and usually throws me a 5 dollar gift certificate and manages to call me names or insult me at the same time. It won’t end until she dies someday, but I try to do things that make me happy despite her.

  • Happy holidays dr Ramani. �� thank you so much for sharing with us your wisdom and knowledge. Sending you and the entire community Love and Light✨����

  • I find Friendsgiving is a little pep rally among friends to laugh and gain the strength to get through the undesirable Thanksgiving with family.

  • I usually have a dinner with friends the week berfore and then I spend Christmas traveling. That is many years now. Last year I decided to try spending the traditional way and could not regret more! This year… traveling.

  • This year will be the same as always. Spending the day smiling and nodding, being everyone’s good little audience, then go home and recover. Next year I will buy non-refundable tickets to Hawaii. It’s getting tougher every year to spend holidays with people related to others who molested me.I’m getting tired of hiding the truth so others aren’t bothered.

  • I am a product of first cousins parents. My mothers second son was a stillbirth in which the baby was born with his brains out of the skull.I’m the third child and well I think nothing went wrong. But my fourth sister was born with severe neurological problems. She never spoke or walk, and by the yrs she was deteriorating progressively. She became completely a vegetable, her physical was that of a little girl and she lived to the age of 36. My father was a Dr, but Probably he didn’t see anything wrong. Our last sister only live 14 days, her lungs were undeveloped. Seeing this video make me realize that there are genetics problems in many of the children! The same thing happens to many Amish couples, to keep their believes they marry to fam members, and therefore many are born with genetics disorders.

  • Thank you Dr. R… scapegoat here,away 37 yrs…and choose not to be w/ drinking abusers who made fun of me my entire life. They still gaslight…“ those things never happened” according to them. Im not married because I don’t want to be sheltered & clueless like them.
    My sister’s last date was 1974 and she married him, never on her own, is clueless.

  • What made her marry her 1st cousin?? Is it not enough men over there? She couldn’t find a man outside her family?? Maybe it’s the norm over there..

  • I am skipping it again this year bc we have limited money but it’s also a relief. I cannot do no contact bc right now my NCIS elderly mom and I are living together. Next year though, I am looking forward to doing a scaled down Christmas with my best friend. It’s going to be great!
    My Mom would always say I ruined christmas bc my brother and sister in law would gaslight me until I broke down or ran away or blew up. So glad not to be around them anymore. We are no contact for sure and it’s so much better.

  • In my life, the Narcissist had me stop doing any Christmas decorating. No lights, no Santa’s, no tree, nothing. I didn’t go caroling. I didn’t go to holiday events around town. The only Christmas thing we got to do was see our families on Christmas day, and I think that was because I wouldn’t take no for an answer on that one. He used to try to get scheduled at work on Christmas so he could get out of even seeing the families.

    I’ve been divorced from him for 8 years. I’m remarried, and my second husband loves Christmas. We go nuts about it every year. But, not to the point of stressing. After our child was born, not all the decorating gets done. But a little more comes back each year the little one ages.

    My second husband’s mom has some covert narcissistic traits. So far boundary setting and limiting our visits with her have been enough. I am prepared, however, for the possible day where I “do something wrong” and her victimy, blaming wrath causes us to sever ties (that’s what my brother in law has done, except for very special occasions, like 3 hours on Christmas).

    My family has become our focus family (as my father in law also has some narcissistic tendencies), and my brother in law’s response to his childhood has been to become avoidant, even with us. Another couple on that side started being verbally abusive toward us, so, as far as we’re concerned, they’re not family. But, our good friends and our church are our second families. Everyone is right, your relatives are not your family unless they treat you like family. And, family doesn’t have to be related.

    We’re having a friend from church over on Christmas. He has no one (wouldn’t be surprised if his ex is a narcissist too). He’s family now:)

  • I guess my family traditions were pretty basic, get together with both sides of the family and eat and open presents. No real meaningful traditions so to speak. I just enjoyed the planning of the meal, preparing it, gathering around to talk while cooking, getting a plate of food and sitting down wherever there was a place to sit. One year my Aunt sat in the bathtub and a cousin sat on the toilet…LOL. I’ll be alone this year. My son has stopped talking to me about 7 yrs ago because his dad has him convinced I’m crazy and weak and lazy. There’s more to it then that of course but that is his opinion of me pretty much.

  • My favorite thing to do is watch Cary Grant in The Bishops Wife (1947) then go out on a walk or bike ride along the ocean and be kind to total strangers. That movie recharges my ❤️������
    Not having a set plan is usually the best way for me. ��������

  • I would like to share my story with you. The past 12 months have been life altering. Med circle came into my life at the exact moment I needed comforting, below is the first time I’ve been able to word my story, the gratitude i have for Santa’s anonymous, is also how your channel and med circle has helped me.

    Dear Christmas Bureau, My names Laticia Cantelon, I am so greatful for you being able to help my son & I during the holidays. This means the world to me, I’m able to celebrate Christmas with my son, without the guilt of not being enough.
    I turned 25 during October of this yr, I am single mother of rambunctious, 4 almost 5 yr old.
    Our story doesn’t have have a distinguishing start, middle or end, writing this has been emotional, and mentally hard for me. Taking me back to when I was 11yrs old, being from a abusive home and desperatly writing to Dr.phil or Ellen for help, but never making anything of it.
    I’m from Summerland, B.C, my mom was a single mom of two. Life has its cycles some times I find. I come from abuse and a series of unfortunate events. Unconventional then most.
    I grew up and have been diagnosed with a neurological and chronic pain disorder. Called Charcot Marie Tooth Type 2. One would say my pride kept me from getting the help I needed when I was a teenager. You couldnt tell me I couldn’t do something, which hindsight, contributes to Our story now.
    We currently live in a one br apartment, on the N.E side of the city. Not luxury that’s forsure.
    My son Ashton, splits his time as of now week on, week off between his father and I.
    Living with a life of unresolved trauma, I found myself physically and mentally unable to function or work. January last yr, broke down in every aspect, essentially waved the white flag for outside help.
    It has been exactly a year unemployed and not capable to work. With the now added diagnoses of persistent depression & Anxiety, ADHD and Severe D.I.D.. Dissociated Identity Disorder. Yeah, I’m a dozy. Topping it off with what drs are thinking is secondary fibormialga. A combination that isnt easy to treat and isn’t common. It has been two months since applying for disability, and before that a year of struggle, appointments, being passed around like a lab rat. Now our story waits to see where the application goes.

    To end the trauma cycle with me, its ment allowing myself to admitt I need outside help. I fought my body to the point of it essentially breaking and leaving me disable more then what I was.
    I wasnt able to provide Ashton a Christmas, I thought he deserved, so the past 2 yrs he has spent it with his father. Seeing this opportunity, it was only right to throw my ego out and reach out threw the YMCA.
    Thank you for reassuring me that their are good people on our planet and that people see us.
    No one wants to admit they arent able to provide for their child, and that they dont have a family or a support system except themselves and the drs treating them. Which, in our story is me. This was a beautiful act of kindness, thank you.
    Laticia & Ashton “”

  • I spend furrymas, chunukah and fur-giving with my beautiful dog-ter. I named her Chana because she was given to me on the first night of chanukah in 2009 when she was a baby. Her big ears look like flames on a menorah. I’m lucky to have my special girl. She is mu family, my light, and my guardian angel. Lucky that her birthday is on chanukah because she makes me feel so blessed even though I really got ripped off by incarnating into the family that I did. I’m used to being alone on holidays now, aside from having her company. Valentines day and new years eve are still very painful though, because I have been single for so long and there are so many PDA’s all over social media on those days.

  • Oh definitely. My covert narc MIL has to have everything revolving around her and her traditions. She determined the schedule and never once considered my mom or my side of the family. MIL has to have dinner at her house on Christmas Day, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. and never once did she offer to rotate with my mom. She would invite my mom over but that was it. My mom wasn’t having any of that crazy so she never came.

    MIL even insisted that my family travel 5+ hours through avalanche country with small children to make it to her house for Christmas every year when we moved out of state. It wasn’t until one year that we traveled through what had to be a blizzard and took 8 hours to get home that my husband finally told her it was too much so she finally relented and let us off the hook. Those couple of Christmases we got to spend at home relaxing with our nuclear family were the nicest ever. We got to wake up and open presents in our pajamas, make egg nog French toast and simply enjoy ourselves instead of being under stress to get to the in-laws on time, hours before dinner, while MIL took pot shots at us and cornered me to grill me about something or badger me about something, pick on our kids etc.

    Sadly we had to move back to our state of origin after only a couple of years without the stress of dealing with MIL. I only recently realized what MIL is and started protesting. Last year, MIL got jealous of our 11 year old daughter and played mind games with our child and picked on her. After much fighting with my husband over the abuse, he decided to skip Christmas with the in laws. We’re going out of town this year and I’m so looking forward to another relaxing Christmas at last.

    Maybe next year we can negotiate Thanksgiving with the in laws and Christmas with my mom. I’m sure MIL will not be happy but that’s not my problem. Let’s just hope I can talk my husband into it.

  • We are empowered when we can keep the loving focus on ourselves in the here and now, instead of focusing on unhealthiness, from an unhealthy person. The only power we have is to CHANGE OURSELVES. Education is great, but focusing all of our energy on THEM is obsession.

  • When I hear how some people describe narcissists on YouTube it gives me the feeling that they don’t get this disorder! They often think it’s NO BIG DEAL and don’t see the dangers and real injuries these people cause! Like in science, for every cause there is an effect! �� They are the EVIL people in our societies! The “bad seeds” so to speak! This isn’t just like you caught some cold and it will go away in a few days! It’s more like you caught HIV or Ebola virus!

  • Very interesting video series. Could you please make a video about narcissism as a co-morbid condition in other mental illnesses, like for example Borderline Personality disorder and others? Because for me it seems, that there are a lot less “pure” narcissists than people who seem to have some other mental condition, where a narcissist attitude makes the positive social contact and probably also the therapy success really difficult. Like for example one family member of mine seems to be more on the clingy, needy, dependent side without any ideas of grandiosity, but her sense of entitlement, manipulations, gaslighting attempts, rages if anything doesn’t go according to her convenience are 100% that of the narcissist.

  • My parents r first cousins and we r 8 siblings all of us r normal and have no kind of diseases. Don’t want anybody to come at me for saying this. I just wanted to everybody know that even if u get married with ur first cousins ur offspring doesn’t have to get the disorder it’s very rare for that to occur.

  • Exactly.. narcissist boomer topics: when are you having kids? Buying a house? I did it, I’m amazing… yeah Karen, well now we have crippling student loan debt and my husband and I both need 6 figure incomes to afford a mortgage here in California. Also we can hardly afford an au pair while we’re both at work… lmao

  • Every single tradition I instilled in our Holidays or any celebration my NPD ex husband would intentionally sabotage to the point we still carried on with them without him

  • Love these suggestions! Thank you. Already shared some with my mom (who like myself gets a lot of the terrible things from the narcissists) Hoping the holiday will be more manageable this year!

  • -Love your idea Dr Ramani about changing it up with Christmas giving to those who may have gone through a disaster or those in need.

  • I used to enjoy doing nothing for new years. Now every single year my alcoholic MIL comes over and gets wasted and forcefully demands that I drink with her. Yea we are gonna book a room at the beach this year and be out of town. And hopefully every other year too.

  • Good morning everybody, that was The sweetest gift I ever got on the holidays “don’t take the bait” with that narcissistic wife and the mother of my two kids1?

  • My nar mother ruined my wedding, my brother’s wedding and she didnt celebrate any of my birthdays. My narc husband ruins every anniversary and birthday of mine, so I stoped celebrating any with them. I hang out with my friends in my birthday, much better this way.

  • These were such great ideas! I especially loved the sticky note/jar idea. I have 6 children so the conversations that occur are hilarious! I wish I came up with that idea years ago.

  • When Snow White commits a neatness in the dwarf cottage.. she meets Grumpy, but ya get the Gooseberry pie, a house in order, to sing, dance, love, all the meaning of life, AND Grimhilda meets her demise.

  • Sure be good to hear the doc’s suggestions as she’s seen so much. I did the same type of activities that I would for any anger. Big difference if you’re still having to deal with them; my no contact is a blessing. ������

  • Dr. Ramani and team,
    Originally, I was going to write about being with my narcissistic ex husband and his narcissistic mother for 27 years of holidays had blah blah whine whine cry….

    However, I wish to applaud you for giving real forward moving advice about creating new traditions and experiences for my children and myself. We may not have the Currier and Ives style holiday I had before marriage. However, my son and friends decorate our home, discuss all sides of political views and we now make hamburgers and lasagna for holiday meals. And instead of going to Christmas Eve service as the mother-in-law always expected, we go to a movie and after we genuinely enjoy exchanging opinions and takeaways from our shared experience. Thank you very much for your continuing education, support and inspirational suggestions for how to create a new and healthy lifestyle for ourselves.

  • My husband stopped me going to my in-laws house for Christmas after she refused to go to our wedding in 2014. We held a quiet ceremony and got married anyway 6-7-8, as we had other issues with a bride’s maid telling the Best man, she wanted a divorce 5 days before the big day. In 2014 he decided to do it again. She refused to come and stopped my in-laws from showing up. With her being the Queen, we think she was furious. I use to bring my in-law’s home made pies that ate in minutes of bringing them over. However, I stopped going to Thanksgiving. For 4 reasons, 1) My husband didn’t want me there, 2) I decided to stay in NJ wed. to fri over thanksgiving, 3) Every time I went to their house, my dinner was a WAWA sandwich pissed off my husband. He thought she was slapping me in the face. 4) We discussed (he is dead now) that my mother-in-law was pissed at us for still having the 2nd wedding without her, as she is the Queen narcissist in the family. I cut all ties with them after he died, as there are more issues than narcissism that runs in that family.

  • I LOVE thanksgiving, and I started to feel stressed about xmas the day after black Friday. I decided to make xmas more like thanksgiving and making it more about the eats and treats rather than gifts. We do secret santa to keep costs down and that relieves a lot of the stress. A friend of mine is hosting xmas at his house and made the rule that if it doesn’t fit in a stocking, don’t buy it. I don’t spend holidays with my family of origin….just my kids and friends. Thank you for this, Dr. Ramani. You’re the best.

  • They r tortured souls that’s y even days u suppose to celebrate they can’t so they mess up your happiness because the torture is guilt shame curses from hurting other people they feel this not because of what other people done but what they have done to others that’s y they r suffering and mad at the world because they getting their karma we wander when they will get their karma but guess what they is that’s y they so hurtful and hateful because their karma is on their tale

  • Congratulations on the baby. These are some awesome traditions to have. I have grandsons and a granddaughter. I am definitely going to tell my daughters to watch, subscribe and check out these ideas. Have a terrific holiday season. God bless

  • Thanks for sharing Tia. Love the Christmas dinner table deco! Congrats on bundle of joy on the way. It really “ti’s the season to be jolly” as I know so many people who are pregnant right now. Busy year I see for most of us (puff).

  • Shoot, all the narcs I know can’t seem to stand really celebrating any holiday that anyone else enjoys. I mean, I’m not huge on Christmas, but I do still get into the spirit; these people act like it’s either just another day or they try their hardest to make you miserable. I try to stay away, but they make it so difficult to have a good holiday.
    I know one thing I got this year were the questions… “What happened to your perfect little boyfriend?” or “Still alone, I see? How long are you going to dwell on that guy?” or “What did you actually accomplish this year?” I think dealing with narc family members are why so many people are starting to stop going home for holidays and they’re making more friendsgivings or whatever else; spending it with people who don’t make you feel like crap every time you get around them. However, I don’t excuse the behavior with drinking, any behavior. Drinking just gives rise to what’s already there; I don’t give a pass for it.

  • Which one is better to navigate with a narc 1. Let them think that there shit is working 2. Whenever they poke let them know there shit won’t work??

  • I adore charitable gifts. My life is all about animals so I am giving people virtual adoption as a gifts. And I am giving presents to shelters too, so for example bay of hay for donkey did cost me 11 euros. Nearly everyone can afford it. We made agreement with some family members to not buy anything. Now I have only 2 people to give them gifts. (and lots of animals ha ha)

  • My family deal at Holidays is always about alcohol and boy, do the loose mouths run amok, another reason I hate family gatherings!!! Staying home again for the 3rd year.

  • Christmas 2006 before we separated and divorced, he looked my mother in the eyes and told her I was not a priority. That was really the end and so happy that i got out of that toxic relationship

  • I loved putting up lights and a small tree. My ex husband would say it’s a pagan holiday, always made me feel bad because I enjoyed it. I am not a religious individual and he would make me feel less than a good person for my beliefs. He gave me a bible on CD 2 weeks before Christmas one year and I received nothing from him on Christmas Day. It wasn’t that I didn’t receive a gift from him on that day but that he totally dismissed me and pretty much ignored me at his grandmother’s house.I did give him gifts for Christmas.

  • I CANNOT BARE TO THINK OF THIS MOMENT. IT WILL BE SO HEART BREAKING. PART OF THE WORLD WILL BE LOST. REALLY IT WILL MARK THE END OF AN ERA.

  • I am amazed at the pride of britan & the royal family to expect India and other such colonized countries to mourn for days. The most of their wealth & treasuries are filled with lootings from Indian royalties. The blood & misery of millions of Indians stain their crown & yet they refrain from any atonement or bother to return the lootings. Hardly have they ever helped post colonized India.

  • What’s the tradition Ive let go of for the narcissists…peace, joy & being myself! ���� This year I decide thanks to you to let go of thinking “It’s gonna be better this time” and the “I need to fit in”. I’m just gonna be me with a different set of glasses. Happy holidays.

  • Ive become very american and the past few years have not returned home-dont have to hear about peoples diets, no rushing about, been so peaceful. In the usa people wearing a ugly sweater, it was winter. I recently saw a man in a airport wearing one with delta written on it with air planes all over the arms. I was shocked at 1st who the hell would buy that? Then realised, and inside I had a good laugh. My flight was 50 mins late and I was going to miss my connecting flight so his ugly sweater made me smile. Yip he won that as I had a elf top on and I felt his was better!!!! Moved to a warmer climate and I showed family what I accidentally brought back with me via shipping container (6 really cool ugly sweaters), I was told if I wore that on Christmas day they would ask me to remove it or walk out and go home. I said I think we could make them tee shirt style and wear them xmas dayfun activity with the kids with fabric pens and iron on patches-get crafty, who has the ugliest tee shirt. I was told noooo. No sense of fun!!! If I was to buy them then they would end up in the second hand shop the following day I was told. My hubby is very bright and I feel as I get picked on all the time because I’m not seen as been as success as he is. I was actually told I’m not good looking as what I once was 20 years ago. I’ve had a baby, cancer and menopause so yeah my body taken a good beating. At the end of the day some one has to clean, mow the lawns, be home when their are snow days, half days for the kids etc. Lot of jealously at me because I’ve been able to be a stay home mom while my child was young.

  • This is so messed up and the children produced from this are innocent poor kids.. Parents flaut. Smh there enough people in this world to be marrying your own family having children

  • ALLAHU AKBAR ��♥️☪️����
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  • Operation London Bridge is just a propaganda program. There is no difference between North Korea’s propaganda and operation London Bridge.

  • that’s so cruel, these poor kids. at least the amish marry third or fourth cousins to keep it safer, but for the sake of another kid potentially suffering incest really should stop.

  • When it is a “spouse”, it is especially challenging. Also, setting boundaries can make life lonely. After a while you have very few people around

  • Two mantras I’m going to be repeating in my minddon’t engage, and let it go!!! I like board games that are fun and not too competitiveones like Apples to Apples, Taboo, sometimes just an old fashioned game of Trivial Pursuit even though that can get annoying when someone sails through every category while everyone else is floundering around. I’m wondering, what do some of you think are good board games or games in general for a positive family gathering??? And what games would you totally steer clear of??? I for one would totally forget about Monopoly, otherwise known as monotony!

  • Everything, snow, lights, giving, getting, family, friends, even my most favorite New Years, he hates.
    When he started in this year right after thanksgiving, about how he hates Christmas, I boldly stated I’m excited for Christmas this year!
    Nothing else, the confusion on his face was priceless.

  • Bruh my parents are first cousins and i have 6 siblings and all of us are suuuuppppper healthy. I see so many ppl marry their cousins around me and they have perfectly healthy kids. I think this inbreeding or whatever doesn’t happen a lot or maybe only in Pakistan… I’m a middle eastern and cousin marriages happens ALOT and tbh I haven’t seen nobody give birth to genetically sick babies. I’m not saying I’m with cousin marriages nor I’m against it. But i do think that cousins who wanna marry each other or anyone who wanna marry anybody should do some medical tests to prevent these cases.

  • First family! You keep them at home and complain about them being at home yet you wouldn’t put them in care because your benifits will be stopped. I hope they drive you more insane where you need care yourself.

  • This happens when you try to keep the wealth and tradition within the family. Who will carry that tradition now? What will happen with your children when you are gone?
    Nobody seems to ask those questions.

  • Multiculturalism isn’t working. The Brits have to pay for this obnoxious, incestuous behavior because their government can’t acknowledge this simple truth.

  • I’ve been no contact with immediate family so my in-laws are my new family because they love me and accept me. I spend my holidays with them and friends. This is how I keep my holidays peaceful.

  • 4:17 im sorry what? Within a YEAR after the funeral? Cant you just do it like a week or a month after? Yall do be treating this like a war

  • This video made me laugh and smile! I love this!! This is the first xmas without my gma. Its nice to hear some cute NEW traditions!! ❤ Thank you so much Tia. ������

  • Religious leaders with their nose in religious books and refusing to learn genetic science should be assigned to care for and pay for these children. They will soon change their attitude.

  • Jeffrey Epstein, Prince Andrew, Ghislaine Maxwell. All of these people represent profound narcissistic abusers. I am myself recovering from narcissistic abuse. It’s like clockwork. They all follow the same precise pattern. Check out Shaun Attwood’s channel. Work with him if you can.

  • Despite most of their children having blindness, deafness, loosing the ability to speak etc, the parents still deny its a genetic problem and want to blame the doctor. Do DNA testing and look for the genetic markers. His thinking is “My brother married his first cousin and they have 5 healthy children”.
    That’s Because you guys have different DNA. Geez, mans ignorance leading to more human suffering. Look at those kids and their lives. Awful.

  • Didn’t the British Royals used to marry their cousins too? Queen Victoria? I didn’t hear about her having children with abnormalities. Also see it in British literature. Mansfield Park? I remember that it left me disturbed when some romantic feelings were insinuated in the book between first cousins. Couldn’t really get past it!!! Very Targaryen!!??

  • Tried to start a new tradition when my daughter was born to have different stockings for Christmas. Bought some cool ones with different animals on each with names on it for my kid and wife. Narcissistic mother-in-law went nuts because it wasn’t the usual stockings that her family made. (They made me the ugliest one that didn’t even look like a stocking). Heard about it for the next 3 years that our new stockings were “just not right”.

  • Great topic. Great examples so helpful. I do think that it is not only narcissists, who behave in the manor of these examples. I have heard/read that caring codependents also sometimes display narcissistic-like behavior and therefore can be toxic. I have learned that the emotion that drives codependents is often pride (on the surface). I have seen that codependents, who are also vulnerable and wounded, try to “fix” their own feelings of inferiority by acting superior in something (my mother-in-law in baking, my sister-in-law in socializing) and they try to fix others and also frequently do not know how to express healthy empathy. But unlike real narcissists, they actually do really care about others but the way they show it and express it is also uncomfortable and can be immature and even toxic.

  • Parveen chose not to have more kids after her first son was sick and by the grace of whatever god you believe in he made it mostly okay and can grow up semi normally, she seems very devoted and kind

  • My grandparents were first cousins who were forced to marry. They had 8 kids. Two died before reaching one day old. And the surviving 6, all had some sort of physical and mental diseases. One of my aunt was diagnosed with arthritis when she was 30 despite her family having no history of it. It’s not the 1900s, we know better now. It should not happen anymore.

  • Watching this too late! Would have loved this advice before having to see my narcissistic grandma. She told me I was still fat lol

  • The same culture that removes the clitoris of woman and also allow many of the men to have boys while being married. Strangely enough coming to the west hasn’t changed a thing. The statistics in the UK are staggering. They were less known because in Pakistan the mentally handicapped would be seen as a curse and would be “removed” from the family. These families are very brave to share such abhorrent practices.

  • Since marring your cousin causes defects in your children and it’s affecting the whole country in health, education & mental health, the UK needs to keep cousin marriage illegal.

  • If they are British Pakistani then they must have heard decades ago that the British monarchy stopped the practice because of the unhealthy babies?? How does religion still override scientific knowledge? The heartbreak of seeing your child suffer didnt make you question the practice? Such a waste of human life ��

  • I don’t understand how this people who do have their own community leaders they do not not tell them that humans being do need a pool of genetic variation in order to be healthy. On the other hand this is like a form of incest that should be illegal.

  • I did one of your suggestions back in 2005. I hosted Thanksgiving and bought mini planners for everyone. It was personalized. I had everyone write in it what they were thankful for. In other words, everyone had to write in everyones planner. My mom still has hers (13 yrs later) and I actually came across it about a month ago. It made me tear up reading it. Cant believe she kept it. It truly was a great idea❤

  • We didn’t give up anything, but there was a weight over every holiday… so attention was on pleasing the narc rather than the meaning of the day

  • Thank you so much for sharing this video. You had some awesome traditions and fun memories that my husbnad and I want ro incorporate in our holiday festivities. Congratulations on your new addition too! I’m so happy for you and your husband. You’re an awesome wife and mom and youtuber! lol. Praying for a healthy and happy pregnancy.

  • um well one tradition my grandparents have is well ALL OF US will sleep over at there house Christmas eve to have our grandmas special Christmas breakfast and let me tell u there is a lot of us 6 adults 8 is u count my grand parents and 8 grandkids and 1 great grandkid so 9 kids total in a 3 bedroom house and its funny cause it seems like all of us all end up in the dinning room with the Christmas tree and present all over sleeping

  • I make a happy moment jar for the year…I get the tiny color post it…every night I write 1 thing that either made me smile or laugh or made me feel happy and I put it in the jar…new years eve….I open it and put it in the fire sending all those happy moments out into the universe with the most grateful intention.I like to make funny little bags for naughtiness… Snow man poop…(mini marshmallows) and reindeer poop (8 whoppers and 1red jaw breaker for Rudolph) keeping the holiday story books on the coffee table for anytime accessibility, with the kids, holiday coloring books for easy access…the ideas are endless, especially having kids inspire so much creativity its amazing….I would sprinkle some glitter by the tree so my kids would see the magik that Santa was actually there:)

  • lsIam promotes inbreeding for centuries. Muhammed said ots okay to inbreed, because he did married his own cousin.
    Middle east has the biggest number of inbreeding throughout history.

    Do not marry an arabic people, this is a warning.

  • I was wondering do you have any Diabetic friendly recipes.I don’t know if I should get the Instant Pot or a pressure cookerAny suggestions a bit confused not sure which way to go.Thanks

  • WHY DO THESE INCESTUOUS PARENTS CONTINUE HAVING MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DISABLED CHILDREN THUS PLACING A BURDEN ON NOT ONLY THEIR FAMILY, BUT A HARSH BURDEN ON THE COUNTRY’S MEDICAL ECONOMIC SITUATION?!

  • ✨Healthy boundaries ��
    *chronic preparation.
    ✨Realistic expectations. Holiday timer.
    ✨Take a walk. Care taking. Generate peace of mind.
    ✨Beaware of the Sensitive subjects. Observe self reflections, keep your hands to yourself.

  • Hey Tia try this you mentioned leaving your future goals as an ornament in the with your tree. Well we have what’s called Jesus is stocking we have a little white stocking that we hang with the rest of our stockings and after Christmas you know what you’re supposed to do is write down your goal or your plan or your possible resolution and put it in Jesus’s stocking, and the next year at Christmas time when you open up all your gifts and empty out the stocking you didn’t pass everyone around a slip of paper, and you read it and find out if everybody completed their goal or their the plan or there or whatever it was they wrote down and I need do it again for the next year so all the goals are dreams or plans that y’all had were completed and you repeat for the next year

  • Tia those are awesome ideas. I’ve watched you and your family grow up over the years and I must say I’m very proud of you guys.. Happy Holidays.��

  • GENIUS IDEAS!!! I can’t wait to try some of these with my son as he gets older. Just discovered your channel and I LOVE IT! Be encouraged and keep up the good work��

  • you should do d.i.y. like make cute decorative treats.. and cute ways and decorations to wrap them up. how to decorate the table and house pretty for the holidays things like that….please but love the video

  • If you relocate to a different country, don’t expect that country to change or take on your customs or beliefs. You don’t like that, then go back.

  • I bet you are so fun to be with. I would be laughing all the time. I like watching your videos cause you are very pleasant to watch.

  • As a Catholic, I miss going to Midnight Mass. My mom put an end to this tradition because her church choir sings at a different time. My dad is reading at Midnight Mass this year; maybe I can go with him. I suffer from schizoaffective disorder and anxiety. I have not been to Mass regularly for about ten years. I have also been avoiding other family members; they are toxic to me. I always look forward to the new year! This is an opportunity for rebirth.

  • In the last 2 years I have stayed home alone on Thanksgiving and Christmas instead of wasting time with my narcissistic family, just had to throw in the towel. I am 72 and the worst times of my life have been at those times. Even the head narcissist has my cousins and nieces and nephews making fun and being rude when I tried to be a part of the celebration. Tiresome and leaves me so depressed afterwards.

  • You are a blessing to have on here the light and energy you give is infectious please continue to be who you are and thank you for sharing

  • i dont know if it’s just the translation but if the mother really called her kids ” this one” that’s just sickening. she doesnt see them as human beings if she calls them that instead of just by their names

  • Our family tradition is having the kids in the family write Christmas cards for all their cousins and siblings. They decorate them and write one thing they love about them. Great stocking stuffers.

    Another tradition is attend the Christmas parade together while bringing Christmas cookies and giving them away to the homeless in the downtown area.

  • Congratulations on baby #2 Tia! I’ve been reading your story of how you changed to a healthier lifestyle with your eating and then got pregnant. I’ve been trying too and I must say you’ve inspired me.

  • Happy holidays Dr. Ramani!
    From what I observed in previous videos I believe your cat is a covert narcissist. Beware!������������������‍♂️

  • The Court of the Kings Bench has filed a federal complaint for recognition under international law: Come watch my video for further information.

  • Charles Darwin, one of the authors of the Theory of Evolution, couldn’t escape the hazards of consanguination. He married his cousin and had 10 children. Three died before puberty, 3 couldn’t procreate and 3 dodged the redundant gene pool. Evolution has a way of fixin’ that right up.

  • What will happen? The world will have a huge party when this beast dies and another beast will take her place! The royal bloodline are the archons in human cloned bodies this bastards are not human! And they want us dead! New world order is under the control of these beasts!

  • What do you think about separation instead of segregation? Meaning colors tribes or cultures alike will live in the same communities?

  • What to do if setting boundaries, setting a timer and distracting yourself from the narc is not enough? They push my boundaries, mock me for not talking them to enough, intimidation and say verbally abusive things.

  • This was great! My visit today with my mother was brilliant… I was playing and singing a Christmas song and she started to pick and critisize and I said, “uhm… you didn’t pay for this performance, so you don’t get to criticize” which I said with just a little laugh and kept playing and she stopped! She started to critisize my sis in law who performed recently but at least it was off me. She told me “new rule: we are not a singing family, so no playing carols on christmas day… you know catholics dont sing… ” Im like thinking… wow… does she know how silly she would look if any one else was there to hear that… she must have forgot what happens at church?

    And then after I mentioned that I have a new warm coat as I get up to leave, I say so I can walk to work to get some exercise then she said, “you dont need to exercise more because you are looking fit (now)” and eyes me up and down and my response was “I’m not interested in hearing your opinion about my body shape. Its creepy”… my son said, confused, that I talk about his body shape, I replied, “I only mention your body shape when you need assurance that your body shape is normal but I do not need any reassurance about my body shape. Thank you” then she said…. “yeah… you look great… you dont need reassurance”

    I told them that instead of sitting around “talking” this year, which is the same script each year of every mistake I made, that I am bringing a board game to play with my son and anyone else who wants to play with us.

    I dont have any reason to complain to other people about it… it stays with my mom… it’s just her and how she is and she will never change but my reaction to it can and I left about 10 minutes after the criticism started flowing… and then I listened to this and realised how many of the strategies I had just used… so validating!

  • This is absolutely discusting ik for a fact they knew that if they had a child it would come out with a disability but they still married HOW IS THIS A TRADITION THE POOR KIDS GOD BLESS x

  • Guys, we all know the queen is immortal

    But like seriously, I can’t imagine a world without Queen Elizabeth. It’s weird to think about