Things Not saying for your Sports Kid

 

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THINGS KIDS NEVER SAY!!

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Why 70% of Kids Quit Playing Sports By the Age of 13 What Every Parent Should Know

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8 Things You Should Never Say To Kids

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10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child

Video taken from the channel: Live On Purpose TV


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Please contact [email protected] “Stay Focused!” or “Toughen Up!”. While sports cliches don’t necessarily harm kids, dads who use them are wasting their breathe because young children don’t really understand them. You don’t need to agree with your child’s statements that he’s the worst player that ever lived or will never step foot on the playing field again.

But you can empathize, and reflect his feelings, with statements like: “You are feeling so angry about this.”. I’m sure I’ll say other things, some that are helpful and some that aren’t. But I want my kids to hear that doing what they do, and learning about who God created them to be, is a joy to watch as it unfolds. Related reading: 5 ways to kill warmth in your family (and how to rebuild it) What teenagers need from us more than (almost) anything else. Laying that load on a child makes her anxious.” Designed by Betsy Farrell.

4 of 60. In general, you should avoid using words like “always” and “never” when speaking to your child, because it can. The second category of reasons why kids quit involves negative sports experiences.

Research has shown that the following reasons often underlie a decision to drop out: Not getting enough playing time. 71 Things Parents Say To Kids Before a Game. The reaction to our video on the words of wisdom you pass along to your children before they play their games was overwhelming! Thanks for watching and for sharing what you say to your kids.

We enjoyed reading your comments so much we thought we would share some of them in a post. “You’re already having difficulty getting your child to eat their food, and this actually increases your child’s perceived threat and creates an increased power differential,” explains registered play therapist Sarah Rees. 1. Suggesting that this is not where things end for them sports-wise.

In fact, maybe they are not ready for this level of competition yet and can spend this year working on their skills. 2. Talking to your teen about other opportunities. Perhaps he/she would like to try a new activity?

3. Making sure that you don’t make this about yourself. This is solely about your child. Saying the child’s name first, as this gets their attention! Speaking at the right volume and not speaking “over” the child. Using regular eye contact.

With this in mind, here are 100 (!) positive things to say to your child: You are cared for and loved. I will always be here when you need me. I’m grateful for you.

You are important. Naturally, you want to raise your child to be strong, independent and resilient, but be careful with the words you choose when having conversations about bullying with your kid. Perhaps your first instinct is to parrot the advice your own parents or teachers gave you back in the day.

Unfortunately, some of these common refrains, like “just ignore it” or “toughen up” are not.

List of related literature:

“I know you always thought your dad was strange about your sports.”

“Again to Carthage: A Novel” by John L. Parker
from Again to Carthage: A Novel
by John L. Parker
Scribner, 2010

“So, I hear you’re interested in trying out for a Division One team this year.”

“Pies & Prejudice” by Heather Vogel Frederick
from Pies & Prejudice
by Heather Vogel Frederick
Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers, 2010

“You could probably get a college scholarship if you run like that all season.”

“The Paranormal 13 (13 free books featuring witches, vampires, werewolves, mermaids, psychics, Loki, time travel and more!) (+1 Bonus!): Boxed Set Including a 14th free novel!” by Christine Pope, K.A. Poe, Lola StVil, Cate Dean, Nadia Scrieva, C. Gockel, Nicole R. Taylor, Kristy Tate, Becca Mills, C.J. Archer, J.J. DiBendetto, Stacy Claflin, Kyoko M., Dima Zales
from The Paranormal 13 (13 free books featuring witches, vampires, werewolves, mermaids, psychics, Loki, time travel and more!) (+1 Bonus!): Boxed Set Including a 14th free novel!
by Christine Pope, K.A. Poe, et. al.
Frostbite Publishing, 2014

“I used to be a real sport, but I haven’t done a thing since having my second son.

“Estrogen's Storm Season: stories of perimenopause” by Jerilynn C. Prior
from Estrogen’s Storm Season: stories of perimenopause
by Jerilynn C. Prior
CeMCOR (Centre for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research),

“What did your coach say when he saw your face messed up like that?”

“Midnight and the Meaning of Love” by Sister Souljah
from Midnight and the Meaning of Love
by Sister Souljah
Washington Square Press, 2011

“That guy said you set the school records on your old team.”

“Why I Quit Zombie School” by R. L. Stine
from Why I Quit Zombie School
by R. L. Stine
Scholastic, 2011

“I already know who your coach is and I think you’re gonna be really excited.”

“The House on Firefly Beach: The perfect feel good summer romance” by Jenny Hale
from The House on Firefly Beach: The perfect feel good summer romance
by Jenny Hale
Bookouture, 2020

“You know, my real sport is baseball,” I told my mom.

“Coming Back Stronger: Unleashing the Hidden Power of Adversity” by Drew Brees, Chris Fabry, Mark Brunell
from Coming Back Stronger: Unleashing the Hidden Power of Adversity
by Drew Brees, Chris Fabry, Mark Brunell
Tyndale House Publishers, Incorporated, 2010

I’m jealous of your coach, because I’m looking at two parts of a pretty goodlooking team.”

“Night Hoops” by Carl Deuker
from Night Hoops
by Carl Deuker
HMH Books, 2009

“You’ll get in huge trouble if you keep talking to the Coaches like that.”

“Neverseen” by Shannon Messenger
from Neverseen
by Shannon Messenger
Aladdin, 2015

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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51 comments

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  • I have two teenager kids they don’t take their online classes don’t give time to studies they don’t listen to me at all how do I persuade them for studying

  • Hey, great job on this video. Let me help you with this advice: For your next video, just remember that to make it better, practice makes perfect. But don’t worry. You’re okay. Just be careful when you talk to strangers.

  • haha I was always conscious of saying “be careful” I always felt like it was a little overprotective, I’ll definitely do the spotting next time and keep quiet:) thanks doc.

  • “We can’t afford that” I Always hear that.

    I needed $16 to repair my phone We can’t afford that
    I needed A PC for online school We can’t afford that
    I needed $1 to live We can’t afford that just die OK
    (edit I forgot to mention they tell me to save money but they steal it ALL THE TIMES to the point where I just spend every money that I have just so they won’t be able to steal it

  • Toddlers are good and fast learners. My 3 years old son shouts exactly the way I shout on him because sometime I cant hold my self after trying several times politely to make him understand to not to do something… Such a looser I’m:(

  • Omg your damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you listen to everything you guys tell us how to talk to our kids. They will all be locked up. I have raised two very successful children on my own. And there well balanced and I have used all those phrases. Every child is different with alternative needs. My motto as a mother. Speak and talk to your child how you think fits there understanding and interests

  • PLEASE never EVER call your child stupid, worthless or good for nothing or anything insulting like that!!

    I grew up constantly being berated by a very strict Father who was cruel. Our Dad had a very strict father who didn’t show him any love or affection. So our Dad was an total emotional cripple.
    He didn’t know how to love, communicate or be affectionate or loving. He did learn eventually, but it was when he was an old man & it was too late by then.

    Our Father had desperately wanted sons, but he ended up with 3 daughters instead. Well, we were never allowed to forget what a bitter & huge disappointment we all were. Our whole childhood, all we heard from him was
    • You’re just useless girls.
    • You’re lazy.
    • You’re stupid.
    • You’re good for nothing.
    • You girls are stupid & worthless.
    • Why weren’t you boys.

    Hearing this my whole life was soul destroying.
    I grew up with no self esteem, no self worth, no confidence. I truly believed I was stupid, I believed everything he shouted at us girls. We learnt to apologise constantly and for everything. “Sorry Dad for being a girl, sorry Dad for disappointing you, sorry for not doing it properly, sorry for everything”.
    Until this day, I still over apologise for absolutely everything in life. I even apologise for things that are completely not my fault. Then I apologise for apologising.

    So when I had a child A Son, (who naturally finally pleased my Dad!!)
    I praised my Son for everything. The closest I ever came to saying the dreaded word “stupid”, was when my Son did something a bit dangerous one day & I accidentally said to him ” that was a stupid thing to do” & I immediately saw the hurt in his eyes that I had caused & obviously I profusely apologised. The hurt on my son’s face killed me that day & I wondered how on earth MY father could ever continuously say those horrible things to us.

  • The little kids saying right as they’re nodding off or out of the blue ‘remember that time when we died?’ or ‘last time i died in a fire’ sound like past life memories. I have a child who remembered much about our former lives together (yes, plural,) as brother & sister, parent & child, etc; described the muddy streets and wooden sidewalks, and no women were in the town (early West in USA, anyone…?) etc. As he grew up, he forgot them all.

    Listen to your children.

  • OMG that “dont talk to strangers” approach was the best one.You see thats my constant anxiety the moment i became a father,what happens if my kid gets lost, what am i supposed to teach him if she finds herself in a situation like this!!!Thanks Mr Jenkins

  • My Mom:
    You don’t want THAT! Her favorite when she doesn’t want me to have something!
    Practice makes perfect
    Hurry up
    We can’t afford that
    If you want that you better work hard! You will have to make your own money!
    Oh, that’s just a STORY! She loved to use that one when I learned it from someone she didn’t know well.
    Well, some people may do that but WE don’t!

  • nice video, is # 6 reminds from Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad… “How can we afford that” instead of “We can’t afford that”/

  • Hi Doc, I’m at my breaking point and just googled or youtubed how to get your child to obey and came across your channel and after watching half way through this video I confirm I was raised all screwed up and I feel damaged and there’s just so much frustration and I don’t want to carry that cycle onto my kids, any chance you may help, I can’t take it another day more.

  • I definitely had to subscribe, you speak so much sense. Especially reading through the comments, they got me laughing really hard particularly the ones watching to know how to treat their husbands, lol

  • I would’ve KILLED for a “great job” on my report card. Instead I’d get “You need to do better. You’re supposed to get all A’s. Pay attention to the teacher.”

    Keep in mind I DID get all A’s…except in math, because even if the answers were all correct, not finishing a timed test was worse than filling in all random answers. Curse my desire to actually do the tests, I suppose. -_-

  • A comet for a children for getting a good grade on the report card like an a my comment would be I see you got an A on your report card I’m very proud of you I always get a response on that they’re very happy!

  • I’m wondering if it is the same in weight for a mom always feeling too skinny and weak looking? I’m always fighting to eat more and to add things in that will gain for me and I am constantly sad or whatever if I see myself because of how small I have gotten! I am wondering if that is why my girls are eating so much and getting big? I see here that the I’m in a dirt thing isnt great to do so I assume the same with being upset about being too skinny! I always corrected everyone growing up and as a young adult saying practice makes better! They would say what so I’d say it again and explain it keep pray ticking and you get better at it every time you try! Also the be careful I’m a broken record with my kids be careful be careful and no dont do that! Although I am already at them trying to protect them from getting hurt as I say it I dont just tell them from across the yard if I’m worried about something bad then I’m in top of my kid to save or protect them or at the very least to help them if they do almost get hurt! Thank you for these videos they have already been of help for our home I am grateful

  • my mom would always talk about how fat she thought she was and how she always needed to lose weight. she was probably in the 140s-150s not even that bad.. but i remember being so afraid of being fat all my life and i became anorexic in highschool.. im recovered now but being overweight is still a big fear of mine. i dont mean to put all the blame on her but i know its had an impact to some degree

  • Absolutely love your advices! You and your wife are such caring people:) Wishing all mom’s and dad’s an amazing time���������� Learning how to deal with the most important people in our lives feels like heaven! Keep up your amazing work ��

  • This reminds me of how lucky I am to have had a patient, devoted, compassionate, highly intelligent woman bring me into the world and raise me. She cared enough to independently study parenting best practices and infant development, saving for her kids’ college before she was even married. As a single mother later on, she persevered against debilitating circumstances where many would have truly given up. She was not perfect, but she was extraordinary, and the most brilliant human being I ever knew, to this day. God love and help us all to be the best we can for our children. ��

  • Wow Im doing a lot of things wrong!! Thank you for this video. I’ve been so saddened lately, I want to be a better Mom and make my kids feels secure. I will be watching more! Thank you for this:)

  • I really get tired of people that beat up on their parents, my parents weren’t perfect, but they taught me to think for myself, work hard and be independent, and my dad taught me to trust my instincts, thanks mom and dad ♥️

  • I disagree with the part of don’t talk to strangers people may have a degree in a certain area but it doesn’t mean that they are right. Because there are cases where a person who may seem like a police officer or a store clerk, that turn out to be a kidnapper that is just one example so I disagree with the part of telling children don’t speak to strangers. However I don’t use that particular phrase but what I do tell him is that not everyone is nice so becareful with who you speak to. Now behavioral things on this Earth for a lot of studies in institutions are based on science but we need to mostly focus on God and the fact that when we connect with his spirit we get that instinct within us to know if someone’s spirit is good or bad.

  • Yep I have a 3 year old and these are all great to put into practice, I’ve used all these phrases and I would love to use this advice and change things up. It’s all about perspective, I don’t think it would make kids too soft, in fact, if anything it will help them to be more independent, think for themselves, be treated with more respect, and teach them important life skills, thanks for the reminder that our words can be more constructive and less passive ��

  • Very nice video, and very helpful. Although it might be wise, for the reasons mentioned in the interesting video, to find a possible, alternative expression instead of saying to a child “great job” after he/she comes back home with a good grade (Btw… how old is the child? that makes a difference) still emphasizing with the child’s feelings might be very important. There is a way to emphasize with the child WITHOUT making her/him dependent on the parents’ approval or affirmation. This, because although it is very true children should not depend on parents’ approval/affirmation, still they need parents to share their own feelings, specifically when they come back home with a good grade. It is very wise to help children to explore their own feelings, asking them “how do you feel about that?”. Still, ending with a “wonderful”, after the child’s response/exploration of his/her own feelings, might be a valid addition to what the speaker wisely mentioned. That means emphasizing the (hopefully positive) feelings of the child regarding the good grade, creating a SHARED emotional, positive space between the parent and the child, WITHOUT stressing approval/affirmation, implicit instead in that more common and too simplistic “great job”.

  • I was waiting to hear where this guy lives…on the corner of marshmallow Rd and bubble gum trail…. baby your kids like this guy says and your in for trouble.

  • My mom, aunt and uncles whenever i wasn’t in the honor roll they always said ‘what did you do at school this semester that you weren’t able to be one of the honor students?’ And they said that they weren’t dragging me down by saying it instead they were motivating me but i feel so bad whenever they said that to the point i always blame myself even i already did my best. I feel sad for myself.

  • U ever notice how kids are incredibly worst than ever?its because of people like this guy I watched the first minute of this and realized the problem with the kids around me,are parents like this.

  • When I was young, my mom told me not to talk to strangers. Then one day I was talking to a man that we both didn’t know. Later she told me “I told you not to talk to strangers.” I replied with “he’s not a stranger, he’s just a man.” Lol

    Thanks for the tips. I could definitely use improvement!

  • On number 6. How do I explain finances to a 4 year old, I’ve always tried to engage him in grocery shopping but is now starting to fuss and demand extra toys and/or candy we can’t afford. How do I make him understand?

  • Omg this is a little ridiculous… We are going to raise a bunch of entitled brats. If I asked my parents to talk to me like this when I was a kid, they would have said.. You need to grow up and stop whining!!!

  • Hello, I want to teach my daughter mindful eating, I am having difficulties because she sneaks food without me noticing. Also, how can I teach my two kids not to lie and do things behind my back. I have a 7 year old girl and a 4 year old boy. I read social stories and talk to them about the importance of honesty. They are just unmotivated sometimes and they get excited at the moment for their reward then get bored or unmotivated again. I just have some expectations that are not met, I try to give them choices and be as flexible as possible, but I just feel like I failed. I still have hope to be a better mom. I go to school, cook, clean and take the kids to school, pick them up and do everything, sometimes it feels impossible to have patience. I want to work on myself to improve my relationship with my kids and help them become responsible, honest, hardworking and kind adults.

  • Gsus! I bet this guy has no children or never spends time with them. Somebody defined a business consultant like this: ”99 ways of making love but no woman.”

  • I never said to my kids kids good job and all this even when they were little I always felt the risk of making them dependent on me. However now that they are 11&14 they tell me I am not a very encouraging person. I think deep inside of them they want to be our heroes. I am sure there is a balance more towards being excited for their achievements but I am not there yet.

  • This is only for people who are mature and already know the basics of never saying “you are…”, comparing them w people, etc etc.. I hope everyone can get those basics down then grow and work on these too!!! Thanks for your awesome videos!!

  • I dont agree with this. I’m not a word kind of parent. I like to have long conversations with my kids and break stuff down and show them all aspects to life..You can say practice makes perfect to strive your kid to do their best. as long as you get out their and practice with them. Are kids mean the world to us, we want the BEST for them. should I not say I want the BEST for them, should I say I want the mediocre for them because more than likely they will just be mediocre.You out of your kids what you put into them.

  • Please post more videos like this. This video was very helpful and I appreciate it. Mom of an almost 8 year old. The hardest part is getting him to sit down, focus and understand and do his homework.

  • Most people watching this video like me are probably kids or 15-year old teenagers with YouTube channels who have nothing better to do.

  • I think my mother doesn’t believe me when I say I hate myself, because if I say that I hate myself or I say I feel so depressed, she will just say “Good!” Or “we all are!” It makes me feel alone and like I shouldn’t tell anyone because they’d say the same thing.. It also makes me more depressed than ever..

  • I love how you make absolutely relevant videos. Thank you. You have inspired me to start my own channel too. I am a teacher and a mother to a three year old. I would love some support and love from people like you and other mothers here. Thank you for making videos and helping us out! We love you.

  • What other parenting suggestions do you have? Let us know in the comments section below! If you enjoyed this video, please give it a like and share it with your friends! ��

  • Mine was “Don’t be a big wuss!” lol. I don’t do that anymore though, instead opting for reassuring them that will be ok. “Don’t worry!” I guess is a bit better.

  • I’m 14 and have been playing baseball for 8 years. I’ve hated it since I was 12. My coach is a terrible person overall, cursing us out, telling us how bad we are. I’ve played summer baseball for the highschool and hate him too. I’ve attempted to quit so many times and I just get punished for it. I have so many physical activities I’d rather be doing that are much more fun. I have panic attacks and severe anxiety around both coaches. Pls help

  • These are some great points. What we say can simply shift our children’s whole mindset. I touch base on this topic as well. Check it Out!
    https://youtu.be/Bcl2vE1er_U

  • When I was little the picture at 1:14 used to creep me out so bad and I would be scared at night cause the pic would show up on thumbnails and I diddnt know why

  • My brother kid age three is out of control. When she demand something n if u try to take it away or stop them from doing. They scream n make life unbearable. She stop house work or some normal daily stuff. We have to give her attention n everything or she will make huge mess.
    How to teach this needy kid to stop this behaviour

  • I remember back some twenty years ago, I was running a backyard bible club. There was this one kid that was outrunning the other kids during some of the activities I had planned out. So I decided to challenge him to a race around the park. Big mistake. The race wasn’t even close. An eight year old totally smoked me in what was a half mile race around the diameter of the park. I was no track star back then, but I wasn’t slow either as I played high school sports. He got an extra prize from the grab bag that day.

  • My son started riding his bike with b
    No training wheels at 3 and at 11-years old, can play the piano, guitar, drums and is now learning the trumpet. I mean, I guess that’s something.

  • I’m fast to but not as fast as him. Cause everytime I run I can’t stop myself so I have to wait until my body feels like stopping for some reason because like every time I stop running I keep on running for some reason but only for one second tho.

  • Rudolph Ingram can run 100m in 13.48 seconds at just eight years old. As he gets older, he’ll grow taller and he’ll be able to gain more distance in less time. He’ll definitely have a chance at beating Usain Bolt.

  • I am a parent of a son who was a child prodigy an artist and scholar.The reason they are known as child prodigies is they grow up and no longer a prodigy. My son’s psychologist gave the best advise a parent needs. My son’s gifts are his not mine. Do not show him off. Let him develop his gifts but help him with what are challenges for him was socialization. And the hardest to hear my job was to assure he did not become a substance abuser or commit suicide. I passed that test, as well as my son he is now 50 years old. Still a brilliant scholar and artist and successful business owner. Now retired back to doing what he loves drawing and reading experiencing life with a select group of lifelong friends.