The Price of Not Having Kids
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Whether you made a conscious decision to remain childless, or it was foisted on you by circumstances outside of your control, it is natural to sometimes regret not having children. In fact, almost every non-parent has wondered if they should have had children—especially as they age. Not having kids, and other most common regrets Caitlin McCormack 11/25/2019.
Another career-related regret that many older people have is not taking more risks during their time in the workforce. Accepting not having children is similar to any type of serious loss in that you will experience grief in its many forms. Understanding how grief manifests will prepare you to be able to manage it. Denial. You may be in disbelief, and mentally unwilling to accept the reality of not having kids.
Despair. Having recently published research exposing the rhetorical differences in male and female sterilization counseling, which investigated the tactics and ideology surrounding issues of female reproductive justice, one of my findings was that women are often told they will regret not having children. Kids murder your sex life.
Breaking news: This is not a myth at all. Between all that lack of sleep that comes with having kids, the lack of time to do it, and the general stress of being a parent, sex lives of people with kids tend to. Have kids because you’re ready to love — not because you’re terrified of regret or other risks. Some people do regret kids. There are days when I do regret not having kids.
I missed out on a profound experience. Because I didn’t really have a mother myself, I wonder if I should have tried to make and forge that bond. You might say that I’ve travelled far enough from the fear of having my kids snatched from me that I’m bolder, brazen, that I’ve lost sight of the blessing that is children. You might say I was too young to know regret or too naive to care back that. You might go ahead and say I am a terrible person.
As parents, you understand this new reality. You roll your eyes, but you get it: This is life now. But when your kids take you away from me, I resent it. I just do.
I know they’re brilliant and beautiful, but they’re children. I like you — not these demanding small people. If you are feeling regret because someone did something to you, realize that you are not to blame.
But, make sure that you tell the police (and your parents if you’re young) so that person who hurt you will be stopped from hurting you and other victims.
List of related literature:
|from Contemporary African American Novelists: A Bio-bibliographical Critical Sourcebook|
|from To Be, Or Notto Bop|
|from Free-Range Kids, How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry)|
|from Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families|
|from Journey Across the Life Span: Human Development and Health Promotion|
|from Gypsy Dream Dictionary|
|from The Sacred Search: What If It’s Not about Who You Marry, But Why?|
|from The Peaceable Kingdom: A Primer in Christian Ethics|
|from How to Be Childless: A History and Philosophy of Life Without Children|
|from Counseling the Nursing Mother|