Teaching Responsibility for your Child


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Teaching Kids Responsibility Positive Parenting

Video taken from the channel: Live On Purpose TV

You teach your children to be appreciative for what they have. It is through the Executive Role that you hold your children accountable for their behavior, and that in turn, fosters the development of a sense of responsibility. Dual Roles Combined. Children need their parents to carry out both roles. Teaching Responsibility Often Means Stepping Back During early and middle childhood, you probably needed to constantly remind your child about her obligations or else things wouldn’t get done.

The success of teaching kids responsibility depends on your praise or practice So you set the right expectation, you taught your kids specific ways to do it, you created a checklist, and you remembered to check the list. The final step in teaching responsibility is to give feedback. If your child did an awesome job, make sure they know it. Taking responsibility for things should begin when a child is small. Parents are committed to teaching the importance of responsibility to their children.

The rest of the family also plays an important role in teaching this value, starting with the example set by parents, aunts, and uncles. It’s one thing to try and teach your child responsibility by telling him “You need to be more responsible and pick up after yourself.” It’s quite another to teach by example. As the parent, you are the perfect person to model what responsible behavior entails. Simply put: A responsible person can be counted on to do what is theirs to do. Teaching your children responsibility starts out with small tasks and chores.

When your children are old enough to understand simple commands, start giving them a job or two. Now, that doesn’t mean sending your 2-year-old out for a paper route. Rather, begin with simple tasks. One of the best ways to teach your child about responsibility is to model the behavior for her. Look out for friends and neighbors, volunteer in your community, and be dependable.

Arrive to. Teach your child to be responsible for her interactions with others. When your daughter hurts her little brother’s feelings, don’t force her to apologize.

She won’t mean it, and it won’t help him. First, listen to her feelings to help her work out those tangled emotions that made her snarl at him. The Important Task of Teaching Responsibility in the Classroom Teaching responsibility in the classroom is important.

By teaching your students to be responsible in the classroom, you’re also teaching them to be responsible at home and in their communities. This is a life skill that they will need to practice throughout their lives. Teach your child the difference between an explanation and an excuse. For example, telling his teacher he was absent because he was legitimately sick is an explanation.

Meanwhile, telling the teacher his dog ate his homework is an excuse. An explanation accepts personal responsibility while an excuse tends to blame other people.

List of related literature:

The key, here, is that the parents have to mentor good care, not just hand this responsibility over to the children and not, as too often happens, hold the child to a higher level of responsibility than they themselves are willing to accept.

“Run, Spot, Run: The Ethics of Keeping Pets” by Jessica Pierce
from Run, Spot, Run: The Ethics of Keeping Pets
by Jessica Pierce
University of Chicago Press, 2016

First and foremost, she (or he) is a co-constructor of knowledge and culture, both the children’s and her own, in a pedagogy that ‘denies the teacher as neutral transmitter, the student as passive and knowledge as immutable material to impart’ (Lather, 1991: 15).

“Beyond Quality in Early Childhood Education and Care: Postmodern Perspectives” by Gunilla Dahlberg, Peter Moss, Alan R. Pence
from Beyond Quality in Early Childhood Education and Care: Postmodern Perspectives
by Gunilla Dahlberg, Peter Moss, Alan R. Pence
Falmer Press, 1999

Of course, if responsibility is to make sense or be credible to children, then the medium (physical activity) must be taught well.

“Standards-Based Physical Education Curriculum Development” by Chair and Professor Georgia State University Atlanta Georgia Jacalyn Lund, Jacalyn Lund, Deborah Tannehill
from Standards-Based Physical Education Curriculum Development
by Chair and Professor Georgia State University Atlanta Georgia Jacalyn Lund, Jacalyn Lund, Deborah Tannehill
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2014

Teach­ing parents directly is encouraged so that they may be involved in fostering their child’s independence, providing emotional support and physical assis­tance, and giving guidance regarding the correct techniques or regimens in self­care management.

“Health Professional as Educator: Principles of Teaching and Learning” by Susan Bastable, Pamela Gramet, Karen Jacobs, Deborah Sopczyk
from Health Professional as Educator: Principles of Teaching and Learning
by Susan Bastable, Pamela Gramet, et. al.
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2011

One of the main tasks is to raise the child appropriately for his age, so it is necessary that the teacher knows the developmental stages of a child, so that everything happens at the right time.

“Pre-Service and In-Service Teacher Education: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications” by Management Association, Information Resources
from Pre-Service and In-Service Teacher Education: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications: Concepts, Methodologies, Tools, and Applications
by Management Association, Information Resources
IGI Global, 2018

So, for example, learning to care for others starts with adults caring for children, learning to be independent starts with children being given responsibility.

“Outdoor Learning in the Early Years: Management and Innovation” by Helen Bilton
from Outdoor Learning in the Early Years: Management and Innovation
by Helen Bilton
Taylor & Francis, 2010

During my research I came across a book popular in Waldorf circles that explores this perspective and is actually entitled You Are Your Child’s First Teacher (Baldwin 1989).

“Educational Philosophy for 21st Century Teachers” by Thomas Stehlik
from Educational Philosophy for 21st Century Teachers
by Thomas Stehlik
Springer International Publishing, 2018

In fact, teaching a child how to find healthy answers when they don’t know what to do is an important skill for meeting needs.

“Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids” by Greg Popcak, Lisa Popcak
from Beyond the Birds and the Bees: Raising Sexually Whole and Holy Kids
by Greg Popcak, Lisa Popcak
Ascension Press, 2014

Instead, we could teach them important subjects such as How the Mind Works, How to Handle Finances, How to Invest Money for Financial Security, How to Be a Parent, How to Create Good Relationships, and How to Create and Maintain Self-Esteem and Self-Worth.

“You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay
from You Can Heal Your Life
by Louise Hay
Hay House, 1995

This crucial responsibility is generally assumed by the youngster’s parents, who serve as principal caregivers and the child’s first teachers.

“Special Education in Contemporary Society, 4e – Media Edition: An Introduction to Exceptionality” by Richard M. Gargiulo
from Special Education in Contemporary Society, 4e – Media Edition: An Introduction to Exceptionality
by Richard M. Gargiulo
SAGE Publications, 2011

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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  • As a new father love your vids they are great n I have implemented them on my family, it has strengthen my bond with my wife n we hardly ever discipline our kid cause he is extremely helpful n confident but do u have any vids on dealing with older sibling who is depressed has bpd n multiple personality… She blames everyone n everything if there is no one to blame she blames her mental illness, she constantly brings up the past n has this thought she’s the good person n has done nothing wrong, and even if u have a great time with her when she visits to be with her nephew she immediately goes n brings up everything and ruins the good times…. I’m at my wit’s end n I’m literally thinking’s she’s not just crazy but insane… I tried being positive, I tried being happy n supportive but nothing helps she makes herself hopeless n no matter what I do I can’t talk her out of it n it always always ends with her claiming suicide or homicide n I just can’t deal with it I try to tell her not to call me about that because I have a family I have to give attention n love to n I can just keep being positive and happy with a constant n depressing black hole ever present as of right now I want to completely cut ties I don’t want her in my families life because I just don’t want her to have that kinda influence to my two n a half year old.

  • In this instant does mature mean more compliant? So if they don’t do as they ask do you remove the things I can control? (internet etc)

  • Also my son is 9 and knows more than he should in matters of things that go on in health class because I can’t lie to him since I will be having that talk the talk with him when he goes through puberty because his dad will just say something inappropriate and not completely everything that he should know at the age of puberty

  • Yes can you please make about making bath time my 2.5 year old scared from the bath she screaming and crying and I don’t know what to do

  • I can help my students but it seems like my boys just don’t like to listen to me. My boys don’t get in trouble outside of the home just in the home.

  • The state school system literally force my son out of his home school which is the school closest to our house and made him go to a different school all because she needed to be put in a behavioral yet his cousin is autistic and yet he’s going to my son’s homeschool and they said that they didn’t have a behavioral class yet aren’t kids with autism more difficult to handle than kids that have some aggression issues I’m not positive on that if kids with autism are more difficult to handle then kids with some behavioral issues but I still wonder why the state the school state system thought that it was all right to have him transferred to a different school just because the fact that he has some behavioral issues which are not very severe not anymore any ideas of how to convince his home schools at he doesn’t have the behavioral issues he had because they didn’t even let him get on the dosage he needed to be on for his ADHD before transferring him to a different School

  • Wow!! As usual Dr. Paul you’ve nailed it correctly!! This is so very educative and has helped me clearly understand the importance of stages of maturity and to deal with the little ones as is appropriate of the different stages they belong to. I was actually rushing them into stage 3 and expecting a positive response, which obviously didn’t happen���� and now I know where I went wrong. Thank you very much for your help and guidance! Your channel has become the best base for a fresh perspective on positive parenting and I simply love that name! It’s so full of impact!����������������

  • I forgot to mention that me and his father or separated and that to get him to do anyting I had literally have to call his dad which pretty much diminishes my authority my control or willing for him to respect me

  • Happened to accidently stump on your channel n loving it so much! I do understand what you are saying but still not fully got it. It would be nice if you can input some examples after your explaination. For e.g. you’d said consequences needed for both stage 1& 2 So what kind of consequences are appropriate for both stages. How do I deal with my 11 yr old son who seems to fall in both stage 1 & 2? Is there any of your videos that are more clearer n deeper?

  • How do you control a child with o d d when you have ADHD depression anxiety bipolar and many more disorders so in my house we called them problems or issues we don’t use the word disorders because a pretty much diminishes your child put them in a state where they think that they’re not as good as any other child would be but how do you control a child West o d d when you have so many issues let you know how it’s hard and I mean really hard especially when that child becomes how to control and I mean completely out of control

  • How many here almost teary eyed to get some parenting help. Thank you for such spaces of relief on YouTube. No one there teaches practical stuff and it’s so hard being a good parent when ur own parents had no clue or the knowledge from sources like the internet to understand stuff.
    Control and Maturity can clear so much unnecessary lower emotional mess..

  • When it comes to the state yeah we’ve already had a social worker visit our house and person enough it was because my son was abusing me and that was before he was actually diagnosed with ODD

  • I appreciate the content self-responsibility is so important! Though I have just 45 subscribers now, I hope my latest video on raising my little guy to be responsible reaches people & spreads similar sentiments as this video. Thank you again for the perspectives.

  • Also what do you do when your child says I want to die but he doesn’t mean it and he even says afterwards if he doesn’t mean it dad or when your child says I want to go home yet he is home which I know that part is kind of confusing

  • I have to admit that I’m too young to be a parent and don’t plan on being one in the next few years, but I’m still watching videos from this channel for a few stories of mine. Anyways I just wanted to say that I wish my mom would let me cook, wash the dishes, clean my room and do on. All I’m allowed to do is stay in my room or downstairs and do my hobbies. Sure it’s not that bad, but it just got boring once I didn’t have any friends anymore. But I hopefully will remember this channel and the tips until I’m finally an adult and I can move out.

  • I have to keep coming back to watch this video. Our kids keep bouncing between the stages. It’s driving me nuts. Thank you Dr Paul. You help keep me sane

  • My child had ADHD and autism and now he is 14 and I am finally trying to teach him to do chores and how to trust and all.. it seems as though he learns and he goes back to where he was before in about 3 months idk what’s happening

  • Oh my god! My 15 year old is on the stage 1. Help!!!!!! All the blame is on others……on me…on her father…..it’s very difficult. I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t want to study, to help…nothing at all. Helllp

  • You’re videos have been so encouraging to me as a former teacher and now stay at home mom! Thank you for all you do, keep the videos coming, they are wonderful! ��❤️

  • i’ll probably use much of what you say when it comes to my daughter. It’s relieving to see this, my parents did a number on me. I just hope i can do better, i don’t want her to suffer like i do.

  • Your 14-minute videos last over 40 minutes from me pausing, writing, taking notes and thinking on how I do things. I am completely immersed in this whole idea of love, discipline, control, maturity thinking versus fight, garbage into gold, consequences, empathy. My brain actually hurts right now. I haven´t stopped since this morning. It´s like I am taking a seminar. Dr. Paul, I am sincerely grateful for your life, your time in making these videos, the times you answer my questions. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! You have truly blessed and changed my life and my teaching at school (Cause I don’t have kids yet).

  • Thanks it’s very helpfull; need you to give keys to how to deal with 20 yeard old who’s still in stage 1.
    Ps. We don’t live in the US and kids do’nt move out when they’re older.

  • I don’t understand he shows respect to his dad how has no rules for him and I have rules for him also he only sees his dad every other weekend I have my son a lot more than his father does way more days in a row then he sees his father but yet he shows respect his father and not to me any advice

  • Absolutely LOVE your positivity and groundedness. I guess it’s possible to be at different stages regarding different subjects at the same time right?

  • Could you give example of stage 2 consequence as I did not understand it and also what is meant by communication and responsibility in that stage?

  • This is one of my favorites! Still working on stage one for some things with my eighteen year old! Thanks for helping me understand instead of feeling like I’ve failed her!

  • Does the maturity level of the kids changes on their own or we have some role too as a parents.
    What if only one of the parent try to raise kids understanding their mental states and psychology ( without putting any pressure) and let them move at their own pace while other parent want kids to behave the way they want them to be and expect kids to be idealistic in every sense.Besides its a real task to set any kind of connection between the two because both are adamant and not ready to listen to each other

  • A biiiiig Thank You ��
    My 5 year old son is definitely on stage 2 even 3 sometimes but 9 old girl �� stage (-1) always me, my, stomping, loud, water in the eyes. She’s amazingly talented best in her class, plays violin, she can whistle almost perfect. She’s seems okay with everyone except me she actually asked me do you actually love me? What kind of question is that ��

  • My mom is a parent that doesn’t care about our personal happiness or feelings, she’s the only one that matters and we just have to do what she wants. When I say this, I’m not being a whiny brat. This is something she has expressed to me. She told me that the only thing that matters is that we’re self suficient and that she doesn’t care about us being happy.

  • Would be good to have some kind of broad age groups for these stages. I really love the teaching in this hope I remember to put them in practice with my now 4 years and 15 months old

  • Love the video! What if it’s my husband who sometimes acts like he’s on Stage 1, yet I have very limited control over his behaviour?:) I know it is really inappropriate for me to think this but sometimes I do feel it. Any videos to help me to at least make my response more appropriate?

  • My brother is 21, sometimes he acts very mature, but out of no where he’ll act out, as if he has no control at all. This really confuses me. What do you think??

  • Quite interesting are your topics
    I have had challenges with my kids they have been difficult lot taking offence to correction to point of resentment,teaming up sympathetic with each other during disciplinary moments now grown angry negative and depressed.

  • This is the most powerful video every parent and married people should watch. This apply for marriage too because it calmed down my angry husband after i played this video on our tv and he realized from this video that he’s a bipolar or retarded emotionally if he doesn’t stop yelling and acting angry at all of us everyday. This video saved our kids and family. We didn’t know about emotional maturity. Been married for almost 25 years and couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with our marriage. This video clearly showed and proved my husband is emotionally immature. My problem was no boundaries. Now we’re more peaceful family, my dream, thank God. Thank you doctor. I love you to the moon and back. May God bless you more.

  • Very helpful and detailed concept. Can you please add some more details with examples using actual wording on how to get this done. Thanks!

  • I have to say this morning when I woke up I felt like I was lost, I have 12 year old and now it stating to make sense. Thank you so much for this video!!��

  • What if one day they agree to unloading the dishwasher with no problem and the next day they whine about it? What if one day they’re in a good mood and are polite and nice and the next day they are rude and obnoxious. Also, What stage would you say they are at?

  • Congratulations for your channel Dr. Paul. Your videos are very helpful and thank you for that. My son is 12 years old and at stage 2. We are working in a co-operative way at home, most of the times he is willing to do but sometimes I can see at his face expressions that he is doing e.x. a chore just to thank me and not because he understands that is his responsibility. Is he really stage 2 or is manipulation? What’s your advice?

  • Awesome examples especially answers and reactions of kids from stage 1 to stage 3 that clearly show their maturity. Your examples help a lot with the application of the your principles. Thank you very much. Brilliant!

  • Hy Doc. I am Ana and I am from Romania. I have 3 daughters.8,4and 9 months old.the older one is very very (I don’t know how to say properly)possessive. Is very hard to convince her to do everything. She won’t do that or that.anything I say the answer is NO.she is snapping her 4 year old sister.she is talking back to me.i don’t know What to do.
    At school she is the best kid.she is listening she is….the perfect kid.when she is home…i don’t know…She is totally different. Pleas give me an advice.my email is [email protected] gmail.com. thanks.
    Ps:I love your videos. Keep on.

  • Hi! Great video. Could you list some examples of consequences that don’t require cooperation and some that do require cooperation? Thank you

  • I have watched this over and over again and still do not really get it. I do get my nearly 9 year old throw fits still. not at school anymore but at home when he gets a consequence or told no. and sometimes when he dose not want to do something.

  • I am trying to get some information for my first job working with young kids and I must say you come across as incredibly condescending towards teens and kids in this video.

  • Thanks for your video! I was raised way different it was a belt and control childhood. I definitely want something better for my child.

  • It probably doesn’t help either that I rent from my mom and stepdad to live in their house and can’t really go to the school I want because it interferes with my son being put on the bus and being taken off the bus and no one’s allowed in your parents house when you’re not home so therefore you not allowed to have a babysitter inside the house it’s hard to find a outside of your home or where I’m living that can do the hours that I would need to go to school and also get back from school it’s why when I go to start at 8 a.m. and it’s way far from my house and it doesn’t end until 5 p.m. my son is only 9 and he’s out of control and that’s not coming for me that’s also coming from my parents and also his doctors

  • I think our 15 year old daughter is in between stage 1and 2. Sometimes cooperative but sometimes very stage 1. What are your thoughts on this?

  • My son just spent his allowance on a present for his cousin’s bday (so proud), but it was stage one going out the door. There was something on his shoe or something. I stayed calm and told him I loved him no matter what and hugged him. He started to tear up a little. Sometimes when they break down and cry they can see things more clearly. Thanks, Dr. P.

  • I appreciate the content self-responsibility is so important! Though I have just 45 subscribers now, I hope my latest video on raising my little guy to be responsible reaches people & spreads similar sentiments as this video. Thank you again for the perspectives.