Is Spanking a suitable Type of Child Discipline


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Spanking, then, can be one effective discipline option among several in a parents’ tool chest as they seek to steer their children away from negative behaviors and guide them toward ultimately. For some parents, spanking is a natural form of discipline—perhaps they were spanked as a child themselves. Others see it as a good punishment when a child is about to get hurt or finds themselves in a dangerous situation (running across a parking lot or. A child who gets spanked for arguing with their sibling won’t learn how to get along better in the future.

Effective discipline teaches a child new skills and builds their competency and confidence. Spanking degrades trust and self-confidence, while only teaching a. Even some opposed to physical punishment consider a spanking perfectly acceptable when the safety of the child is at stake. A child, for instance, who reaches to touch a hot stove or darts into the street, might need to be admonished immediately and forcefully. “Spanking is not fun for me.

Spanking is a calm application of discipline that is appropriate to a specific behavior. Often parents will ask, “How many times do I have to tell you that?” If simply telling a child made them obey, we wouldn’t have to repeat ourselves so many times. Spanking is only one tool in disciplining children. Spanking is a controversial method of disciplining children.

There are many adherents to the maxim: Spare the rod and spoil the child. At the other end of the spectrum are most pediatricians. Striking a child, as long as it’s within the context of reasonable discipline, is legal in all states.

But spanking — when dealt in anger as it often is — sometimes crosses over into our legal definition of child abuse. So the courts are often left deciding what blows are abusive and which are parenting. A common form of physical punishment for modifying the behaviors of children is spanking, which involves striking the buttocks with an open hand (often repeatedly). Spanking is a common form of.

But there are some studies out there that suggest spanking administered by “loving, well-intentioned parents” in a “nonabusive, disciplinary” environment can be an effective form of punishment. The. Indeed, it is an ironic aspect of the prevalence of spanking that the practice, employed most often to reduce child aggression, per the evidence actually increases it.

From a Psychoanalytic Theory.

List of related literature:

Would the authoritative parenting style allow the use of spanking as a means of control?

“The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home” by Jack O. Balswick, Judith K. Balswick
from The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home
by Jack O. Balswick, Judith K. Balswick
Baker Publishing Group, 2007

It is not necessary because spanking does not work better than other methods, and it is not appropriate because of the harmful side effects of spanking.

“Beating the Devil Out of them” by Murray Arnold Straus
from Beating the Devil Out of them
by Murray Arnold Straus
Lexington Books, 1994

Not surprisingly, a child who is spanked will comply quickly with the parent’s wishes.

“Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective” by George W. Holden
from Parenting: A Dynamic Perspective
by George W. Holden
SAGE Publications, 2014

Spanking as a disciplinary technique has probably been around since people have been having children.

“Human Behavior in the Social Environment: Perspectives on Development, the Life Course, and Macro Contexts” by Anissa Taun Rogers
from Human Behavior in the Social Environment: Perspectives on Development, the Life Course, and Macro Contexts
by Anissa Taun Rogers
Taylor & Francis, 2016

In summary, physical discipline is apt to foster compliance and be perceived as legitimate when (a) it is mild (e.g., a spank to the buttocks with an open hand); (b) is administered by a caring, supportive parent; and (c) the child is between 2 and 6 years of age.

“21st Century Criminology: A Reference Handbook” by J. Mitchell Miller
from 21st Century Criminology: A Reference Handbook
by J. Mitchell Miller
SAGE Publications, 2009

Physical punishment or spanking should never be used in infancy.

“Maternity and Pediatric Nursing” by Susan Scott Ricci, Terri Kyle
from Maternity and Pediatric Nursing
by Susan Scott Ricci, Terri Kyle
Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, 2009

Although some cultures condone the use of corporal punishment for disciplining of young children, it is not an effective means of behavioral control.

“Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics E-Book” by Robert M. Kliegman, Bonita F. Stanton, Joseph St. Geme, Nina F Schor, Richard E. Behrman
from Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics E-Book
by Robert M. Kliegman, Bonita F. Stanton, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

Spanking in anger administered by parents as a release for their own pent-up emotions is totally inappropriate and can lead to child abuse charges.

“Introduction to Maternity and Pediatric Nursing E-Book” by Gloria Leifer
from Introduction to Maternity and Pediatric Nursing E-Book
by Gloria Leifer
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2018

Secondly, physical discipline of any kind (including spanking) is never appropriate (see here for appropriate and effective ways of disciplining a toddler).

“What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]” by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
from What To Expect The 1st Year [rev Edition]
by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
Simon & Schuster UK, 2010

Spanking, by contrast, need not be (and perhaps cannot be) severe enough to cause injury or degradation, if it is to be pedagogically effective.

“Social Issues in America: An Encyclopedia” by James Ciment
from Social Issues in America: An Encyclopedia
by James Ciment
Taylor & Francis, 2015

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  • In my family, we do use spanking as one aspect of discipline but is never the only method and used only in times of escalation in discipline or through immediate correction that matches the severity of the problem that needs correcting. Typically when physical correction is used, it is after multiple attempts of telling them what they need to do. During this process I will punish by taking away fun activities such as playing on a phone, going outside, electronic devices, etc. Further, depending on the situation, we will make sit still and be quiet as a timeout type punishment. After that, we will then tell them that if they continue to misbehave we will spank them. Then if the poor behavior continues we follow through and say again the reason for the spanking was because of this. We are sure to count to 1-5 with every spanking as to not go overboard and to eliminate the chance of abuse.

    It is not a debate that our history in civilization has used physical discipline throughout history including in biblical times. That isn’t necessarily the argument however. The question that should be asked is is the discipline being used being effective in correcting the poor behavior. I believe that spanking may not be for every child but there are children that physical correction is the best method. This obviously does not include abusive correction.

    Just some thoughts on what we do.

  • Yes, I was given the odd smack when I was younger if I had a smart mouth or was a little so and so. Beating is different to a disciplinary smack. I have turned out perfectly fine, I was taught respect and I know it’s not okay to hit people to resolve issues in everyday life and I would rather know I’ve done wrong and sort myself out with fear of consequences than find out the hard way later on. I feel like this is why children are becoming more disrespectful and bratty because they are never taught there are consequences to your actions as a child anymore. Half my generation need a good slap to learn some respect for others because respect is becoming a rarity unfortunately!

  • As a kid, I was spanked when I did something bad. Because of this, I learned a very important lesson…

    Don’t get caught.

    Frick if I can remember whatever bad behaviour it was that got me spanked in the first place, that’s long gone from my mind. The only lesson that’s stuck with me is don’t get caught.

    I can’t help but think that this probably wasn’t what I was supposed to learn…

  • Your main job as a parent is to make sure your child is adequately socialized by age 4, Because that is the age where the primary socializing influence moves to the peers and the society. And if your child is a little monster, none of the children want to play with them ( the primary form of socialization); And all the adults that say they’re happy to see them will be lying. There is little hope for such a child to ever catch up, And we’ll only find companions in “bad company”.
    That said, “effective discipline” rests on establishing authority, And a strong link between cause and effect. People whose parents fail to establish these things tend to have serious authority issues, And to feel that there is something fundamentally wrong with society when consequences come to bear for their actions freely taken.

    Loving discipline should follow the rubric of minimum necessary force to get the job done. That “job”, is to derail self-destructive and anti-social behaviors before they become established. And while you are trying to come up with some clever intelligent verbal substitutionary non-physical correction, Your child’s dopeministic reward center is already reinforcing the questionable behavior as “something gotten away with”.
    And if it’s a wishy-washy discipline, your child’s brain Starts creating a little cost-benefit sub-personality That will also lead them into a “what I can get away with” mentality.

    The benefits of a swift effective Discipline is that it leaves? Absolutely no room for these sabotaging sub-personalities to take root.

    And done effectively early enough they will create a process in your child where the harsh exercise of physical discipline will rarely have to be repeated, save with the most willful children. (Who tend only to be “hardened” by Wishy washy correction.)

    Plus When you say no and your child (perhaps grudgingly accepts it rather than face discipline), there is room for trying to raise their wisdom level.

    I cannot count the number of things my dad said “no” to that I didn’t understand at the time, but which saved me a world of hurt because I respected his authority.

  • The scribes were reading the Bible and were stuck in laws and rules.
    Using a verse in the Bible that says to discipline your child with a rod could mean to use the rod of truth,to teach it by talking to it about the heaviness of it’s behaviour and to use consequences to correct it.When researches show that these are effective nonviolent and not dangerous methods to correct a child why take the risk to hurt it?
    God wants people to be wise not just follow commands and laws like being blind.

    John 5:39 Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.
    Many Christian people think that sticking to commands and laws is the answer but God wants them to understand deeply His Spirit.

  • In today’s age, everything is “wrong”….. Next thing you know kissing your own kid is going to be a crime. Let people raise their family how they choose to. Mind your own business and if “science doesn’t care if your were spanked…” Then we don’t give a rats ass what you have to say.

  • Spanking is needed and can be used as long as you dont do it in a way toactually hurt or bruise them. Verbal lectures can be worse than a spanking it just depends on how ut comes out and who its coming too. Most verbal things turn into emotional abuse.

  • Spanking is really the cultural norm. I used to think it was okay, although I did not see a strong biblical case for spanking. It wasn’t until I had my own child that I started to question many cultural norms regarding parenting. Frankly, I don’t see God using punishment as a means to instruct. I see God using consequences to teach and leading by example, but punishment is typically so severe that is leads to loss of life or limb. God takes our punishment on Himself in the person of Jesus Christ. I believe the word discipline is more accurately understood as instruction rather than punishment. There is a way to instruct and enforce boundaries for children without physical violence.

  • I feel like once your kid gets to a certain age all that works is punishment and some people do go overboard when it comes to spanking like I was spanked twice on the butt with a belt and that was it and plus spanking doesn’t really do anything because most kids would rather get spanked then grounded

  • The Bible is clear about physical punishment for children. If you want to denied it that’s your choice. If you want to follow those methods is also your choice. But the truth is undeniable. Everyone can read it.

  • I hate spanking my child, nothing else works except a spanking. In public my son will yell at me and talk in a very bad way. I spank him to let him know it’s not ok, first warning doesn’t work then i try time out( that never works) so I usually spank him when I get home and he learns. I explain why I spank him and he learns. Studies are useless bc every child is so different.
    There are times when talking works but in public my child will not listen no matter how much I explain. I am in tears by the time I get home. I spank him out of love not anger. When everything else was tried and it doesn’t work. My child is incredibly defiant and strong willed! I wish I had the answer but if it’s so hard with a child that laughs in your face when you lovingly correct him.

  • I really think it depends on the individuals experiences. I was hit as a child and I’m a great person but I’m fucked up mentally, I’ve got social problems self image problems and had suicidal thoughts at a young age. my parents were split and I lived with my mum for majority of the time,visiting my dad every second weekend, for me it wasn’t good because from a young age me and my mother have had a bad relationship and my dad and I love each-other to pieces so I was miserable,felt like I was hated and called white privileged by my siblings and mother because I was the palest and “wanted things my own way” (my dad white and mum indigenous Australian)

  • I think some parents don’t realize that once a child reaches a certain age, they become independent enough to antagonize the parents. The child will only become angry at the parents, and will always see themselves as the good person. Children are smart enough to think for themselves, but stupid enough to not be able to see from their parents’ point of view.

  • I think spanking is wrong because it can have different effects on people, some can turn out okay but for me i have anxiety due to my pcos and i don’t know why but i never really gotten along with my dad, i can talk to anyone in my family but can’t talk to my dad because of my anxiety. He also use to spank his dog and his dog would never go near him.

  • My mom used to spank me and I tUrNeD oUt fiNeReeEeeE lol no tf I didn’t but I don’t get how someone could hit a kid. Like I couldn’t bring myself to do it, I’d be physically unable to. I don’t know how so many parents (including my own mOtHeR) do it

  • I was always hit as a child and it was for so called discipline and that may be true however when it happens to you as a child it effects you later in life cause it still effects me heavily.

    Not to mention some parents take advantage of this and take it to far like my mother did. It was so called discipline but I was being hit with the buckle of a belt, the heel of a high heel shoe, wires, even punched in the chest several times when I had bruises so no it’s not acceptable

  • SHEEPLE PEOPLE! It’s funny that the anti-spanking and anti-bullying generation is the worst one so far. They’re statistically lazy, selfentitled, and have very little to no respect for any form of authority. I don’t look forward to having that generation taking care of ours in our old age.

  • As a biblical scholar, I deeply appreciate your rant about misappropriating scripture. Literally all of Proverbs is short aphorism versions of common wisdom. There’s no reason to think it means you have to literally hit your kids to be biblical about discipline. It just means you have to discipline them at all—preferably in a way that guides them effectively into being a wise and mature adult. Proverbs is wisdom literature. The idea that the author wouldn’t be super down with continuing to learn how to be better about growing as a person and guiding our children totally misses the point. The wisdom literature folks would be the very first people doing the studies you cite and the very first people demanding we opt for a better way.

  • I was spanked as a kid and I’m pretty sure I turned out all right. But that’s not to say it didn’t affect me. I don’t know how much of my mindset today is from getting spanked and how much would have been there naturally. My dad grew up in Mexico and from what he’s sad about his father, it sounds like his father (my grandfather) was a little bit abusive. When I was four, I wanted to go swimming in the house. You can imagine how that turned out. I was spanked, and when my butt stopped hurting, I was spanked again. And again. I got spanked several other times, but I don’t remember the incidents that led to them. I do remember being threatened with a belt when I bragged that it didn’t hurt anymore and from then on out I just pretended like it hurt. Now I’m quick to defend myself against any unexpected contact. It’s most often against my dad and I didn’t realize until watching this video that there might just be an explanation as to why. I’m not quite sure why I’m writing this. Maybe just to add my two cents. But I think what I’m trying to say is that even if you spank your kid and they turn out fine, it doesn’t mean it was ok.

  • When will parents understand that they don’t have entitlement over the child’s body! Entitlement to violate another person’s body is not an option!

  • I’m in between Christians and Non Christians, don’t force me to pick one, it’s my life. OK, Well I’ve being spank really well when I was young. What, if you don’t spank your child, you hate your child, what the heck is wrong with the bible, people in the world preach too much in the bible, really God? why make kids, God supposed to teach good things. This is why, I teach my younger siblings how to defend themselves from getting a spank from my parents, plus I’m a Pacific Islander, I know what’s its like in our island cultures. So, I don’t agree what it says on the bible, because if you spank your child, then the child will follow up do a stupid thing what they see at home and then fight with some kids in school or at the park, it’s not the kids fault and plus kids swear too because they got that from yous parents or family members, and they saw or hear on the news and movies, your child will learn from the mistakes, so don’t blame on the kids, why waste of time for spanking your child, because they will know What’s gotta happen in life. It’s the same freakn thing if you don’t spank your child. If you want to spank your child, buy a punching bag or use a tree, or buy a ball to kick or punch it, that’s what they used for. Nobody is perfect!! Anyone who doesn’t believed in God, they are laughing at this…

  • Inflicting pain will not get parents the results they want. Children look up to their parents and when they get hit or see their siblings getting hit they’ll believe that inflicting pain on others is ok and will get you what you want.

  • Idk, I was smacked (as we call it in Australia) as a child. I can honestly say it had zero negative bearing on my parent-child relationship, my behaviour, my psyche (I could go on). That said, I wasn’t ceremoniously smacked (as in “come here and receive your punishment”). It was more a quick sting on the back of the legs or bottom if I was (for example) about to run out on to the road; or said a bad word vindictively (ergo, I knew it was against rules and did it anyway); climbing up a tree and refusing to come down, things like that. I remember being smacked probably less 10 times in my life, prob closer to 5. So maybe there is a middle ground for ppl whom do make that decision

  • Any children reading this who are getting “spanked” or “beaten” by their parents, pick up the phone and call 911. Report child abuse. Tell the truth. Tell the operator if you’ve ever had bruises if your muscles hurt if you are held down by the arms, or if you are touched without clothing (ie spanked on your bare skin). Cal 911, report the abuse!

  • As a kid I was “threatened” with a spanking if I misbehaved but I don’t really remember ever actually getting spanked. I think that’s just what parents were expected to do then but mine didn’t actually want to or need to spank me. Either way, I was not NEARLY as afraid of being spanked as I was of not getting my bedtime hug and story. Missing out on that was THE WORST PUNISHMENT EVER. Some people may consider that psychological abuse or mental violence but parents my parents did the best job raising my sister and I that they knew how to do and I personally think they were incredibly loving…with limitations of normal humans.

    Not all parents understand how kids develop psychologically that is not a requirement of being a parent so there are always going to be less than perfect techniques for disciplining children. Sure, “use reason” is great advice (a reference to some of the comments, not Mama Doctor Jones), but it’s very privileged advice. Not every parent or child has the same circumstances and while I agree that abuse is never ok, I don’t agree that we all have the same definitions of abuse.

    Sending your child to bed hungry abuse or discipline? Which is worse for them in the long run, letting them go to be hungry occasionally because they don’t want to eat healthy food, or caving in to their demands for fast food? Ask 2 different people, get 2 different answers.

    I definitely don’t agree with spanking or corporal punishment, but I also think there’s a huge divide between discipline and abuse and there is no 1 right answer to parenting, teaching, or disciplining children.

  • I am not a parent; I have provided care for many families and their children. I have worked for families who choose to spank and those who dot not.. I tend to disagree with it and will not spank even if given permission by the parents. Some parents have even instructed me to do so.

    I struggle with spanking and physical discipline by any means because when I was being abused by a family member by marriage when I was a child, I convinced myself the abuse was okay. I convinced myself it was okay to be abused and hurt because people that physically disciplined me where hurting me yet I knew they loved me. I think causing pain confuses a child because love should not hurt.

  • Also, biblical times were different. There wasn’t the safety we now enjoy. Now critical thinking is infinitely more valuable than absolute obedience.

  • God, so many of the stories in the comments hurt my heart.

    I was spanked once or twice because like most parents their age, my parents didn’t really think twice about it as an option. But my mom was extremely aware of how it could be used as a way of taking out her own anger, so she’d put herself in time out first, too, to make sure her adrenaline would dissipate and she wouldn’t hurt me out of anger or anything. I used to think if you were gonna spank your kids, that was the way to do it. But these days I feel like it says more about her own emotional management shortcomings that she could think far enough to make sure she wouldn’t lose control but not far enough to realize that if that was a danger in the first place, maybe she shouldn’t be doing it at all.

    I am thankful that it was always extremely clear that she at least didn’t mean it to be abusive, and it never caused injury. I’m so sorry for all of you whose parents used spanking as a justification for outright injury and abuse, who made you terrified of them, who made it harder to leave abusive friends and intimate partners later on. I don’t think my mom’s version is defensible either, but so many of your stories are so much worse than mine, and I am so sorry for the trauma that so many of you carry because of it. You are all fundamentally worthy of love and care, and you all deserved better. Stay strong when you can and be weak when you can’t—healing trauma takes a long time, but it is possible and it does happen. You got this <3.

    To all of you whose parents made better choices and who have made better choices for your own kids—keep up the good work and keep proving it’s possible to find a better way. All our child selves thank you.

  • People on youtube: i dont spank my kids i just talk to them
    tik tok #shutupchallenge happens
    Same parents: what you say!?..
    (gets ready to spank them)
    Be honest

  • Spanking is just an excuse to hit your child. Its literally just the more “acceptable” way to hit your child. I will never do that to my kids

  • Mhhh interesting subject ��
    Personally I totally agree with a little ” hitting” on the little ones also teenagers.
    It did work for decades and as long as is not taken to an extreme or becoming the scary last option to control them….or….to educate them the reality of life.
    Cheers guys ��!

  • “I’m probably going to make some of you angry”
    If seeing evidence against your “right” to abuse your child upsets you, what are you even doing.
    You have no right to offended by science.

  • Any psychologist will tell you that spanking causes aggression, anger issues, lack of brain development, a child will that it is okay to hit someone when they are angry or don’t get their own way etc.. etc. Even pediatricians, doctors that specialize in children’s care say that “spanking” is ineffective. Pediatricians recommend other methods of discipline such as time out, taking away a favorite toy or privilege, taking away allowance, making your child do extra chores, grounding, such as no tv, no music, no friends, for a certain amount of time etc…

  • I dont mean to sound offensive, but I grew up Latinx. Spanking is a s much of out culture as walking��. How would I convince peers that will have children in my community?

  • I want to be super clear that I agree with you that spanking is bad and you shouldn’t spank your child. However, even being on your side on this subject, I think you took it too far. Comparing it to a human rights violation is a tad extreme. I don’t know why but this video was just very off putting and seemed unnecessary. Just my opinion as a viewer. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you are entitled to make content on any subject you’d like. But personally, I would rather you not make similar videos in the future. I like your reaction videos and obgyn content better.

    I hope that was helpful feedback and not too harsh. I still really like your channel.

  • My parents used physical punishment on me growing up, and to be honest it just turned me into a manipulative bitch who would not take responsibility for her actions. Teaching your kids how to lie to avoid punishment by making them view all punishment as cruel and unfair is not right. Don’t do this.

    Edit: Luckily now I’m better thanks to many friends who I’m so grateful for, and none of it came from my parents.

  • It’s abusive period it can mentally distroy a child and mental illness can become an issue so glad that you made it clear that it’s not okay

  • I am a Christian, and just for that, I get a lot of people saying oh why u believe in science, doctors, health professionals when God is the ultimate healer. It gets me really frustrated when people say that, cuz if it wasn’t for my dad primary care doctor and his oncologist, he wouldn’t even have a chance of beating cancer. Now, thanks to doctors, medicine and science, my dad has a chance of betting cancer. A 15.4% chance, but still have a chance. It also gets me really mad and upset when people take biblical verses and take it out of context to fulfill their own agenda.

  • There’s a book called love and logic and he says that if your going to spank your child and can do it in a calm status and don’t feel bad about it it is ok to spank their bottom. Not talking about a beat down but a tap on the bottom. How do you feel about that?

  • Spanking and getting abused is two different things.
    Kids are very smart!
    So you going to try to talk to your kid? So what happens if you tell him to do something and he or she tell you
    ” what you gonna do about it?”
    What you going to do? Put them on punishment? Clearly they don’t care
    You going to try to “talk to them”
    What if they don’t care about the talk? It’s not that simple to a certain extent

  • Before getting married I made a point to have this conversation with my now husband. No matter how much I loved him it would have been a deal breaker for me!

  • Warning: LONG
    When I was in elementary school, I felt bad about being resentful towards my mom.
    Everyone always saying “love your parents! All parents are best parents! Be grateful!” and such.
    And growing up in Latin America (Mexico), spanking your kids is mostly assumed, as far as I’ve seen. It’s even a popular meme (the chancla).
    So… I hated my mom for most of my life.
    Everything that happened has lead me to have some self esteem and anxiety problems. Thinking stuff like “There are people going through ACTUAL bad stuff out there, why are you complaining? No one cares”.
    Eventually she started toning it down, inviting me to spend actual quality time with her, and such. Until junior high I thought it was just because I had gotten better at school, but I see it’s the way this thing usually works.

    She hasn’t laid a hand on me for about four years now, but every time she tries to jokingly touch my arm while I’m distracted, I flinch instinctively, fearing a pinch.
    I think now that she (by reading private stuff without me knowing) knows loosely about my history of sexual harassment/abuse (won’t go into more detail), she maybe attributes to that my resentment of unexpected physical contact. She probably has no idea it’s mostly because of her, and I don’t have the guts to tell her.

    I thought it was all over, that I was fine, that I would get over it. But she still screams to my brother a lot (he is a restless 7 year old, so he easily gets to our nerves), and sometimes spanks him, I think as badly as in my case (I kinda can’t stay around, and most of my memories of it are blurry, probably on purpose, so it’s a guess).
    So I learned that wasn’t the case at all after I had a bit of a panic attack during early preparations for a school event two years ago.
    I was new, and I quickly learned that the principal is very loud and strict. Specially during that event’s practices.
    Long story short, we were in the gym, so his voice has a very loud echo. I didn’t really knew most of the things he was taking about, and we weren’t supposed to talk. I guess I could I have tried to ask, but the principal sounded and looked very threatening. He was very loud while correcting other students, and I was just terrified he would notice me doing it wrong. Eventually the pressure got to me, and I started crying. A teacher saw me, and made sure I was (mostly) ok afterwards, but I didn’t get a chance to rest until the break, so it was very bad by then.

    Anyways, sorry for this bible comment. I just had to say it after reading everyone else.

    I know I have some issues, so I just don’t want kids altogether. I’ll stick with a cat, a partner, and a desk to draw. I don’t want more from life.

  • my father spanked me, it taught me nothing but to be afraid of him. it didnt teach me right from wrong, it only ever left me confused and hurt. dont hit your children it doesnt work and it will only ever damage your child and your relationship with them.

  • To be honest, I was spanked as a kid when I completely misbehaved or lied. Never when I did something like messing up a makeup pallet. Furthermore, my parents always made sure that I understood correctly why such a punishment was fitting for the action or lie.

  • I grew up in a “good southern” family that believed in spanking and also dealt with a parent who had severe mental illness with a disposition for violence. I decided early on that I would break the spanking as a means to discipline. There is only one instance where I can see corporal punishment as potentially successful and that is when trying to keep a child from doing something that could cause severe harm. For example I would rather have my child associate the pain from a slap on the hand or butt to something like playing with the burner on a stove instead of them having to ever experience the pain of a burn.

  • In my neighborhood I am friends with a lot of my neighbors. You can see the difference in the kids who were spanked and those who weren’t. The ones who were spanked were actually so sweet and respectful. The others will cuss and are miserable to be around. I want to add they only spanked the bottom. I don’t have kids and I think if I did they would be so bad lol I use time out and forgot about the kid until she was sleeping. She was in timeout fifteen minutes longer than intended. I felt like that was abuse. And when visiting if the parents says you are closer smack them. I won’t. I am not a parent and grateful this isn’t a issue for me.

  • So i agree that in most cases it dose not help but there are some cased that they need to know who is boss if you have 8yr throwing a tantrum its them being a 8yr kid you have a 16yr teenager’s getting in your face trying to use intimidation then you pop him. It’s not abuse its teaching this behavior will get you in trouble.

  • What should I do when my daughter is hitting me and other people? I don’t know what to do. When she hits me, I gently hold her hands and tell her no ma’am but then she starts kicking me as well.

  • Correlation does not mean causation. Just because you turned out good AND were “beat the fuck up” as a kid doesn’t mean that’s the reason. I barely get hit because I don’t do anything disrespectful or bad enough to get hit regularly.

  • I dont believe that hitting your kids gets anywhere as a child I was hit as discipline it led to me hating my mother and even several times called child services. Its like using fire with fire.

  • My parents never beat me so I beat others at school and at clubs with my friends �� I’m just trying to be a good role model �� f the ��! BLM!

  • Apparently I was a hellion in daycare around the age of three of four. I acted so bad that they threatened to kick me out. My single mother brought me home, sat me down hard on the bed, spanked me REALLY hard 5-6 times, and demanded and screamed at me to start behaving. She left me on the bed crying. Apparently my abhorrent behavior ceased immediately and I became a well behaved child afterwards.

    30 years later, I don’t remember this event.

  • I just found your channel. People really misunderstand the Bible verse spare the rod spoil the child. In the Bible, the rod was never used to hurt another person; the rod is symbolic for a tool the shepherds used to guide the sheep. It really means that to not give your children boundaries and consequences(time out) that are age appropriate, means that you are spoiling the child.

  • I don’t think whether you spank or not is the most important thing, it’s how you parent and the example you give the 99.9% of the time you’re not spanking

  • Holy cow, I just realized how bad this is. Where I am, it’s completely normal to beat/cane your children. When I was younger I have been beaten a bunch and I now realize how badly it has effected me. I’ve grown to fear my dad and only now I feel somewhat comfortable being alone around him, I have trouble communicating with others and I’ve become very clingy to my mom. This didn’t help as a few years ago I was stuck in a bad friendship, where they used to physically hurt me, and when I told my mom she just told me to tell a teacher. In the end I just kept defending my friend believing they were doing it because I was annoying and that it was my fault.

    I can’t believe I’ve never realized until now. Please don’t hurt your children, talk to them, teach them, help them understand. Never use fear to parent a child. The only thing it taught me was that silence was good when in reality it just caused me more pain.

  • My dad graduated from simply spanking to using a belt to smacking us around. We had to walk on eggshells every minute of every day. When my siblings and I talked to him as adults he said “I thought I was just disciplining my kids.” I’ve had bruises both emotionally and physically. �� I still jump every time I hear raised voices.

  • What happens during spanking:

    1) Child does something (perceived as) wrong.

    2) Parent yells at child,” don’t ever do it again, you understand?!”

    3) child sobs, ” but why, what is wrong with that?”

    4) parent, “I’m going to teach you a lesson.”

    5) starts spanking

    6) parent,” why did you do it?”

    7)child:* tries to explain or say something….

    8)parent, *continues spanking, ” STOP making excuses. why did you do it?”

    9)*child cries, “at least, hear me out!”

    10) *keeps spanking, “No buts! NEVER do it again, you UNDERSTAND?!”

    11) child,” I hate You!”(thinking, “I’ll never tell you anything. I won’t talk to you. You never listen to me.”)

    12)parent, “what did you just say, you ungrateful child? After all that we’ve done for you!” *more spanking.

    Lesson to be learned:
    1) LISTEN to your child.

    2) make them understand the concept, and answer their questions. (properly)

    3) Teach and guide your child to be a responsible human being. (You better be competent for that. If not, don’t have a child, and save a life from being spoiled )

    4) physical discipline should be a last resort. That too, controlled.

    5) children remember the beating, more than the incident, that caused it.
    So, FOCUS on the value, to be ingrained, instead of the intensity of the beating.

    6) Respect a child’s dignity.
    Like you, even they are humans, and thus, hold equal rights. So, treat them as equals, UNLESS, ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY(which, in some cases, IS the way to go).

    7) if, and when, administering physical discipline, make sure you do it solely for the sake of discipline, and NEVER, TO SATISFY YOUR ANGER.

    8) If you do not have the ability or the resources to properly raise a child (or a family), don’t get one.
    (Now, stop your arguments about how having a child makes you happy, irrespective of your socio-financial condition. Thats just sugar-coated SELFISHNESS.)

  • Well I am a Mississippi southern woman spanked her kids when they were younger and explained why there’s a difference between a spanking and a beating and let me tell you this time out generation is what’s wrong with this country they have no respect and no reasoning of right and wrong I don’t care what a Doctor says my Bible says spare the rod spoil the child and now my children are teenagers and are very respectful knows right from wrong and are great people to society and loves to help others without asking and wants to because they have pure hearts I hardly have any problems with them and if they get in trouble they get grounded which is rare I hear what your saying it may work for a few but when you put science above the word of God I find a huge problem with that in this we can agree to disagree and no my children are not violent at all

  • The Bible doesn’t say to whoop your kid. Spare the rod Spoil the child isn’t in there. People who use the Bible as an excuse don’t read it.

  • I got Paddle Swats at School, Belt Swats at home and thumped from time to time if I did something stupid growing up. I can’t say I’m better for it, I can’t say I’m a Psychopath or that I would do it with my own kids. I just find it funny that this is a “Study” where was this attitude in the 90s when I was growing up?

  • I never understand hitting as discipline in children because…adults don’t hit other adults. I was hit as a child, teenager and adult by my parents. I was hit so hard that I have physical scars and PTSD and can no longer look at my father without being triggered. Hitting your kids is because YOU are mad and creates a culture of fear as control. I never learned how to correct my behavior, just that I wasn’t obeying. I have become a statistic due to the choices my parents made. I take 2 pills everyday to control my PTSD symptoms and have been in therapist for 15+ years. Just talk to your kids, please.

  • My parents used to spank me. They’d do it with their hand so they knew how hard they hit me. I’m very glad they did, it was very effective. They didn’t abuse me or anything. They wouldn’t slap me in the face or anything. Nothing serious. They only did it to get a point across. It worked. Not because I was fearful of them, I respected them. It’s the same as using a shock collar on a dog. They learn to respect you and set boundaries. I fully believe that spanking your child (non aggressively,) should be more acceptable. It worked well for me and my siblings.

  • I’m 31 years old, and I am still scarred from being spanked as a child. If God commands us to hit our children, on an erogenous zone, when they are the most dependent on us and the most vulnerable, then God is evil. I only say this because that is how confident I am that He does not command that of us. I would literally rather go to hell than spank a child. After what I experienced, and knowing what I know now, inflicting such a terrifying, painful, and humiliating punishment on a tiny child who doesn’t know any better would be worse than hell.

  • My dad used to be an alcoholic and he would yell at and hit me, my mom, and my little brother. One day my mom finally kicked him out of the house until he got his behavior under control. After about a year he was whole different person, he stopped drinking and has been sober for 3 years now, I am so glad we now can all live together as a normal happy family ❤️����������

  • In the 1950’s hitting your wife was socially acceptable because she was seen as a man’s possession. Most of us would agree that men don’t need to hit their wives to get their point across. The same is true for children. You don’t hit a child to get your point across… and children are NOT the possession of parents to do what they want with them.

    God is LOVE and kids don’t learn that from parents who hurt them. They learn God is Love by consistently being treatedwithout physical violence.

  • From someone who was hit as a child: It was always used as punishment for something, like if I broke something even by accident or if I didn’t do homework. I would cry before I even got hit and my parents would make jokes about how they didn’t have to hit me after a while because I’d just cry if I did something wrong. If you’re a parent who thinks hitting is acceptable, look at what I just wrote, and please understand that it is never okay to hit your child, no matter if it’s only a little spank or used for punishment of bad behaviors it’s not helpful, I was afraid every time something went wrong even if I wasn’t at fault, I would cry, I have severe anxiety and problems with stress, it is very harmful to your child and I don’t care if you’re nice to them the rest of the time, my parents were great otherwise, but just those actions of using spanking or hitting as punishment scared me and even after years of therapy and different medications I’m not free of that fear and anxiety, even though I don’t live with my parents, if I break something I will have a mental break down. You have no right to ever ever hit someone, it’s not acceptable, be an adult and use your words and if they’re too young to understand your words why the hell would you hit them, and if they just aren’t listening there are proven ways to deal with that behavior that are more effective and not harmful.

    Thank you for this video, I hope that some parents learn from this ��

  • What if it doesn’t hurt u just hit hand lightly so they don’t go in street and it gets message across my three year old
    Had no prob running to street

  • I think of spanking as abuse. Where you hit a child or whether you leave a mark doesn’t mean you didn’t hit them, and thinking you’re right doesn’t make you right.

    If physical abuse is harmful to the psyche, then spanking is, too. Also, why do we need a different word than spanking? Hitting is hitting is hitting.

    Being spanked as child didn’t help me at all, especially considering how bad my anxiety was then.

    If your child runs to your car and forces themselves under a seat, the correct response is NEVER to threaten that it will worse if they don’t come out.

    I was terrified and I felt betrayed. All this could have been avoided if my dad had simply explained that wild geese are dangerous. If he thought they would bite me, why administer pain to teach your child to avoid pain?

  • I was physically abused as a child, and recently left my abusive marriage to protect my children. I do find it hard to determine how to discipline my children when they misbehave. MDJ Help me!

  • I was spanked as a little kid by my step dad (while my mom didn’t even know which is wrong on so so many levels as well tbh) bc of accidents and things I couldn’t control bc I was too little and due to all that, I grew up with hiding things from him and my mom and then lying about things and just not at all trusting him and not at all seeing him as a safe person to go to for anything that I or anybody else did(to me) and I’ve had to grow out of all that as well because I realized how bad that actually is. just… don’t hit your kids. reason with them or try something that isn’t laying a hand onto your own flesh and blood.

  • When me and my brother were younger my dad would love to threaten us with things like “if you do x, I’m gonna spank you so hard you won’t be able to sit for months!”

    Neither of us remember why we were getting spanked or what we did that warranted being slapped on the ass until we cried, but we do remember the fear it gave us. To this day whenever my dad gets upset with me for a mistake, a very small alarm goes off in the back of my head saying that he’s gonna hit me. I know he won’t, but the fear is there.

  • I was only hit as a child when I lied about things that I REALLY shouldn’t lie about, which I stopped doing. The hit was only a slap on the bottom while being send to my room. I think it only happened 2 or 3 times during my youth and they were correcting taps, no full force hits or anything. Enough to make me know it was wrong what I did but not enough to make my buttcheeks red from pain. They afterwards explained why they did it and I understood them. As I read from one other commenter, I the child knows reason, use reason. If the child doesnt abide to the reasoning, a correcting tap is in order, not full on over the knee spanking. Thats how me and my brothers grew up and my brothers have children who recieve the same treatment, because it worked. Yell at me for saying it, but I will most likely do the same thing if and when I have children, because I know how it works, or at least worked on me.

  • I was spanked as a child when I made very bad decisions that potentially hurt others ect. Example I tricked my sister into running into a rope that hurt her. I was sent to my room for an hour and then I would be struck with a belt about 5 times. This did not happen everyday or very often at all. My parents were loving and nurturing people who wanted what was best for me at all times. But this would make me think about my actions and if I thought the risk was worth the decipline I would receive.
    I do not plan on beating my child. But if I tell my child “no dont touch that stove” and they continue to reach for it i think i would pop there hand and say “no” again.

  • I was both spanked and yelled at as a kid. My mom likes to say that she didn’t really spank us but instead “swat”. But no, she spanked us.

  • Proverbs 13:24 KJV
    He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

    It is not wise to go with science falsely so called instead of the Bible.

  • I was spanked as a child and I can remember every single time I was hit after the age of 4.
    I did not turn out okay. I don’t resort to physical violence, but I flinch, still to this day, when someone comes towards me too fast. When hands are raised around me. I am hesitant to physical touch. I refuse to hit my two year old for many reasons and yet I’m scolded by all of her grandparents and family that when she “acts out” I need to be spanking her cause “you can’t spare the rod” whatever dudes, she is two years old and MY child, therefore, I choose and my husband chooses. Spanking doesn’t work. You can’t reason with a young child, why would they understand why you’re hitting them? Removing them from the situation or letting them cry for 2-5 minutes before trying again is better than turning to physical assault and straight up abuse.

  • I was spanked when I was younger and now I jump (and my heart even feels like it stops sometimes) when people just raise their hands/arms.

  • If you were spanked as a child and then spank your children, apparently you didn’t turn out that well after all. (Circular logic, I know.)

  • My father used this as an excuse to break a boat oar over my ass and then said “the bible says I can do this” it really made me hate him, God, and the bible!!! He would take his bad days out on me and at the drop of a pin dish out beatings and would tell me to “look in that book it says I can”. I believe now as an adult that there is a way to punish a child that isn’t abusive or physically painful and still teach discipline and by the way not slander or twist the bible to punish children. Now, I will say there are times when a spanking may be the last resort as a punishment but should be given in love and not in a moment of anger or frustration nor should it be used to abuse a child like it was to me. There is a BIG difference between punishing out of love and just being abusive!!!

  • This is so refreshing to hear as a parent who has come from the “traditional” mentality of spanking but in recent years have questioned everything in this regards. Thank you, so very much, for your intentional research and views presented here. To God be the glory!!

  • I agree with this and my partner and I both agreed never to do it, I was hit, threatened and degraded as a child my partner was not but we both had the same view.

    My question is when doing these studies how do they account for the differing living situation. Families with more opportunities and options in nice areas are less likely to hit there children. Families with less opportunities and living in a violent area are more likely to hit there children. How do they avoid the data being skewed by this? A child in a poorer area is more likely to be hit, the child is also more likely to grow up having violent behaviours due to the violent area and lack of opportunities. Essentially how do they know which is the driving force out of the 2?

  • I have a typical southern Mama. That’s how she raised me. Never saw a problem with it but… This give me a lot to think about.♥️

  • Paul was talking to grown ups who probably don’t throw their food on the floor and say no to you after asking them to pick up their toys 1000 times, and who sit on the couch not jump on it and almost break their necks 30 times a day. I’m not for hitting my child. I resort to tickling if my son doesn’t listen…which seems weird but we share a laugh and it usually makes my son more prone to listen to me after we connect for that moment. However I’m just saying the way you would treat an adult is much different than you would your own child. You have to love them but they can be really defiant. I have to tell my son a million times and he still does the things I tell him not to and to be honest it seems to get worse, hes about to be 2 and I find him getting extremely defiant and says no after everything I say. It gets extremely frustrating and sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’m supposed to spank which is why I’m here…and to be honest I do what you say. Gentle, guidance, loving, I have boundaries and I am stern…but I gotta say doesn’t seem to be working very well.

  • Never ever ever. Its human tendency to hit people who are weaker than them (women and kids). Kids are not strong enough to harm you physically, so its easy to hit them to CONTROL their behaviour. Once you scare the kids of the repercussions(hitting/spanking) in this case, they are STILL GOING TO DO THE SAME THINGS BEHIND YOUR BACK.
    I have a 4 year old son and no matter how bad he behaves or how out of control he gets, I will never hit him. There are alternative ways of controlling their behaviour. Teachers don’t hit kids, but they still behave at school. Hitting ANYONE is not okay. Period.

  • I don’t think it’s okay to hit your children. I think Tara from Crashclub had a very valid point about resulting to physical discipline being the only mechanism. You can be assertive and firm without having to use physical contact.

    Great content again, lovely to see opinions from others some good perspectives

  • Yes, children don’t know anything about right and wrong until they are taught. In moderation hitting your children on the hand ect when they do something wrong teaches them consequences. It worked for myself and my brother’s, we even joke about it to our parents “Dad you haven’t hit us in years, you’re slipping”

  • I don’t have children. I was however a child raised by an abusive parent. It hurt my self esteem, severely damaged my ability to make friends, and hindered my self confidence. There are things that I realize that she said that shouldn’t be taken seriously, but these things echo in my mind along with things that should as foundation memories. Reprogramming your mind is not as easy as ‘forget about it now she’s dead.’ If it was that easy we’d all be fine from trauma.
    Usually after spanking, or beating I was angry and hurt and wanted to retaliate.
    Spankings and abuse are not the same thing, but I remember the terror and begging my (grand)moma why she didn’t love me as she nearly ripped my arm out of my socket to beat me in anger. Telling me that I’d never amount to anything and I’d never make it. She’d randomly slap me across the face, and I’d ask what for? She’d tell me it was for what I hadn’t done. It’s not the same as abuse, but it hurts. I believe it does some damage.
    Please, don’t hit children out of anger.

  • Ty!!! So much for this!! I was spanked nonstop as a child, sometimes for things I didn’t even deserve! It really messed with me emotionally!Was spanked one time just because I stayed up a little past the time my parents had told me to go to bed due to the fact that I had to stay up later due to having a homework project when in sixth grade. On top of that had a mean six grade teacher that I was absolutely terrified of in definitely wanted to get my project done. Even though I was extremely tired and didn’t want to go to sleep. I tried explaining that to my dad but he didn’t listen. My Dad spanked us with a rolling pin that would be normally used for rolling out pizza dough or pie though.
    My mom didn’t say anything at all and she let my dad continue to spank us. How could a mother just sit there and listen to her kids scream bloody murder! She just stood there!! It was horrible! My sister and my brother also were spanked with the rolling pin due to the fact that they stayed up later also.The pain that we felt from that emotionally and physically I don’t want to ever in my life want to experience or see any other child go through! My sister my brother and I had lines across our butts For days. This was back in the day when no one said anything about spanking. If you would try to tell anyone about it, they just would ignore it! When I had my children my mom would constantly scold me for not spanking my kids and tell me that they were acting out because I didn’t spank them. I would get so mad at her and tell her to basically mind her own business because I am the parent now and to be honest I am still scarred from all the spanking that we got as a child. I would tell her I am their mother not you! It still messes with me today as I still have the same issues with my mom. She still thinks that some of my kids s behaviors are because I did (do not) not spank them and I think that is complete BS. The crazy thing is that verse that the lady was talking about is the one my mom always used and uses still to this day and I definitely agree that Christians have taken that way out of proportion! I am a Christian myself, but I definitely do not believe that spanking is the answer. God is love. We are to love our children and there are other ways to correct your children w out having to spank them. ❤️

  • I have two older siblings and mom said that growing up on each of she had to use different forms of punishment so she didn’t spank my brother she talked to him and he still turned out wanting to kill my sister, my sister she was spanked a lot but she is not violent because of spankings she is violent from the people she chooses to hang with and as from me my mom used both. If you are furstraed and hit your child for something they did then it’s you that has a problem not the punishment so if you think that spanking your child is hurting them it’s not because we give children so much rights these day is why they act the way they do and yeah they might care what we think of how we feel about it but guess what I don’t care what they think or fell either because I believe in spankings and if I offend someone oh well. Look I know others fell that it is wrong but that’s your opinion and mine is mine and I am not trying to offend anyone I am just sating what I believe in just like everyone else I just feel really strongly about this and wanted to share my Opinion.

  • Thank you for being an advocate for young children.�� I’ve also tried to convince and defend my position but have been met with all the same responses in this video.��

  • i urge all of you to look into cptsd and childhood trauma. its crazy how many things we think are totally normal but they are not. they are abuse. and then were in our 20s, walking around wondeirng what the fuck is wrong with us and why we are this way.

  • I don’t care I’m not hitting my kids I was beaten to the point where I had a busted lip marks black eyes. And bloodlines on my back and legs I’m not doing it

  • I could never imagine hitting my kids in any sort of way. Spanking, slapping, it’s all wrong. These are defenseless children that look to us as their safe place. It only creates fear & intimidation which ultimately ruins family relationships. I witnessed my uncle (godfather) hit his son & stepdaughter as a kid & was always afraid to spend the night there. I was never hit but it still made me very afraid of him & his temper.

  • Hi there, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject, I definitely agree with you. However, please don’t speak on, or against God’s Word if you don’t truly know what you’re speaking on. Thank you.

  • Yes you can hit your kids, dont beat them though, also talk to your kids and dont rely on hitting being the only source of discipline.

  • Yes beat them kids, I was spanked when I was in a kid and now that I’m in Highschool I’m grateful my parents did. The brats in my school are horrible to other students and horrible to the teachers. Most of them vape and do drugs, so thank you mom for raising me right. I’m a straight A student in honor society, a member of the robotics team at my school, a band kid, social, and I stay out of Drama. Thank you parents.

  • Every child is different, its all a gamble. I’m not saying spank or don’t spank your child, BUT I should have been spanked more, while my close friend is the opposite. Use it as a last result but don’t take it off the table.

  • My parents were divorced. Mom told me if dad ever hit me with a belt than I should call cps. Dad threatened to do this when I was about 8 so I yelled “I’ll call CPS on you.” Dad says “You don’t even know the number to CPS.” My smart ass yells back “I bet 911 knows!” It worked like, I didn’t get hit. *Snaps for mom lol

    Even at a very young age, I knew that there was a difference in instilling fear in a child to curb behavior vs earning respect to influence behavior. I grew up with both parenting styles and I could tell you I would have been a violent crazy person had I not spent more time with mom than dad.

  • This question is answered more easily by boiling it down to our evolution. To keep it relavent, focus on mammalian babies. They push the boundaries endlessly unless stopped, often forcefully, for their own good. You can tell a kid, “don’t swim in that pool, a gator will get you” and the kid will get ballsy and do it anyway. Of course that is an oversimplification, but that’s how nearly every lifeform is raised. It got us to where we are, why stop now.

  • I don’t think people hit their children to make them “good”, I think it’s all about obidiance and control, because a kid should listen to adults and behawe. They don’t see children as people. Anger issues and own expirience are also a factor, but from my point of view it’s about the control.

  • This made me think of a couple of things. First is that it’s vital to remember that the proverbs are wisdom not commandments. They are intended to be read and applied differently to each unique situation. They have never been intended to be taken literally.
    Second is that there are studies in the effectiveness of spanking (to the extent that such a thing can be studied given all the variables). From all that we can learn there is a window of ages where spanking may be more effective. Other than that it seems to produce negative traits in the children studied. So if spanking produces negative traits in kids, is it actually loving to discipline in that manner?
    With those two aspects in mind, we personally have chosen other methods to correct our kids. I’m not convinced that spanking will get the results I want from my kids.

  • As a child who was spanked by hand, paddle, switch, and whatever object that was around sometimes… I’m surprised I’m not violent! I’d be filled with just pure rage as it was happening and days after. Thank god that is over. Once I started having treats and toys taken instead… oh boy, did I know I messed up and needed to learn my lesson. But I wasn’t angry, I was upset with myself for doing something bad. There is a difference!

  • Beyond the psychological effects, I learned that I have vaginsimus this year when I went to my gynecologist. And while discussing if this was something I had they told me that me being spanking and hit as a child could have contributed to it. It 100% should be taken off the table in terms of discipline for children.

  • someone once showed me a rebuttal to “well i was hit and i turned out okay!” is “No you didn’t. You think it’s okay to hit a child.” and that’s always stuck with me.