How to speak to Your Child About Friendship

 

Talking to Your Teenager: Communicate with Teens So They’ll Talk To You

Video taken from the channel: Jodi Aman Practical Miracles


 

How To Make Friends As A Teenager

Video taken from the channel: Principle Based Living


 

3 Tips For Rebuilding a Friendship That Fell Apart

Video taken from the channel: The Josh Speaks


 

♡ GIRL TALK: The Truth About Friends & Relationships…

Video taken from the channel: Luhhsetty


 

ReachOut Parents: How do you teach your teenager to be a good friend?

Video taken from the channel: ReachOut.com Australia


 

Dealing with teenage friendship problems

Video taken from the channel: Caroline Cavanagh


 

How and What to Teach Kids and Teens about TOXIC friends

Video taken from the channel: Meditate * Visualize Mellisa Dormoy, CHt


Here are a few points to remember when talking about friendships with your teenager: Everyone is allowed to have many friends and many types of friends. Honesty is important in a friendship. Friends sometimes hurt each other, but they can always apologize and forgive each other.

Friends can. Finally, talk to your teen in their language. Rather than talk about ‘bullying’, talk to them about ‘friendship issues’. Let them know that it’s never okay for friends to behave in a negative way towards them, and that you’re there to support them.

(For example: What are they like? What do you like about spending time with them?) Try to meet their friends and get to know them as much as you can. And let your preteen know that they can always talk with you about their friends. You can help your preteen understand these important — and sometimes painful — lessons about friendship. Force your child to stay with or change friends: Talk about the pro’s and con’s of remaining with a certain group of friends.

Review qualities of healthy, good friendships. This is a great learning opportunity for your child. Assume your child is the victim: Your child may appear to be the one being picked on, but there may be more to the.

Model what you want your teen to do. When parents yell or use sarcasm or point fingers, kids figure it’s okay for them to do the same. They also put on their protective gear and get into “fight” position. If you turn angry, use a quieter, calmer voice. Show respect for your teen’s opinions.

Teenagers can be surprisingly easy to talk with if the parents make it clear that they’re listening to the teen’s point of view. Keep it short and simple. Acknowledge how difficult it is to speak up for yourself and what you need. Ask if your teen has noticed being uncomfortable with friends who did not respect boundaries.

I hope you’ve found some good questions in this list that will help spur your next conversation with the teen in your life! Now let’s talk about some general tips for talking to teens. 1. Step Back and Stop Talking.

Yes, we’ve just listed 120+ conversation starters, but sometimes direct questions aren’t the best way to get teens talking. If you communicate with your teen in a gentle, nonobtrusive manner that respects his or her individuality, opinions, and beliefs, then your teen will be much more likely to do the same for you. Use your own positive experiences of friendship to help guide your teenager.

The friends they choose will be their decision, but you can help steer them towards good ones: 1. Talk about the value of honesty.

List of related literature:

Remember that common interests are important because they give your teen or young adult things to talk about and things to do with others, forming the foundation of a friendship.

“The Science of Making Friends, (w/DVD): Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults” by Elizabeth Laugeson, John Elder Robison
from The Science of Making Friends, (w/DVD): Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults
by Elizabeth Laugeson, John Elder Robison
Wiley, 2013

THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO CONNECT WITH TEENS There’s no one right way to have these talks.

“The Real Truth about Teens and Sex: From Hooking Up to Friends with Benefits What Teens Are Thinking, Doing, and Talking About, and How to Help Them Make Smart Choices” by Sabrina Weill
from The Real Truth about Teens and Sex: From Hooking Up to Friends with Benefits What Teens Are Thinking, Doing, and Talking About, and How to Help Them Make Smart Choices
by Sabrina Weill
Penguin Publishing Group, 2006

It is important that every teenager has a safe adult who can talk through their friendship challenges.

“What Teenage Girls Don't Tell Their Parents” by Michelle Mitchell
from What Teenage Girls Don’t Tell Their Parents
by Michelle Mitchell
Australian Academic Press, 2011

If your teen doesn’t want to talk, be sure to send the message that you’re available if and when she is ready.

“My Teen Has Had Sex, Now What Do I Do?” by Ph.D., Maureen Lyon, Maureen Lyon, Ph.d., Christina Antoniades
from My Teen Has Had Sex, Now What Do I Do?
by Ph.D., Maureen Lyon, Maureen Lyon, Ph.d., Christina Antoniades
Fair Winds Press, 2009

To explore the life task of friendship, you can ask the child questions like: How do you get along with other kids?

“Partners in Play: An Adlerian Approach to Play Therapy” by Terry Kottman, Kristin Meany-Walen
from Partners in Play: An Adlerian Approach to Play Therapy
by Terry Kottman, Kristin Meany-Walen
Wiley, 2016

Another activity is to try to discover through conversation interests they have in common, and shared opinions that could form the basis ofa friendship.

“The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome” by Tony Attwood
from The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome
by Tony Attwood
Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2007

Try not to spring a heavy topic every time you and your teen are alone; he or she may not be eager to hang out with you in the future.

“Your Teenager Is Not Crazy: Understanding Your Teen's Brain Can Make You a Better Parent” by Jerusha Clark, Dr. Jeramy Clark, Earl Henslin
from Your Teenager Is Not Crazy: Understanding Your Teen’s Brain Can Make You a Better Parent
by Jerusha Clark, Dr. Jeramy Clark, Earl Henslin
Baker Publishing Group, 2016

Let them feel your interest in their life: grades, hobbies, work life, after-school activities, friends, and what they do for fun.

“The Transgender Teen” by Stephanie Brill, Lisa Kenney
from The Transgender Teen
by Stephanie Brill, Lisa Kenney
Cleis Press, 2016

The adolescent usually will not talk about the new friends or what they do together.

“Maternal-Child Nursing E-Book” by Emily Slone McKinney, Susan R. James, Sharon Smith Murray, Kristine Nelson, Jean Ashwill
from Maternal-Child Nursing E-Book
by Emily Slone McKinney, Susan R. James, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2014

We begin by discussing the nature of childhood friendships.

“Child Development” by Laura E. Levine, Joyce Munsch
from Child Development
by Laura E. Levine, Joyce Munsch
SAGE Publications, 2013

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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41 comments

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  • When I was a young child I was a toxic manipulative girl and I would use that to get what I wanted from girls that wanted my friendship, as I got older I realized that was not very nice and stopped manipulating consciously but unknowingly to me I was still manipulative unconsciously. Now that I’m an adult I have become aware and I have changed that egocentric side of me, but I have a young daughter and karma never fails bc now she’s a target for toxic manipulative friends but thankfully I am aware of that behavior and I can help her understand the damage that it causes and teach her to not allow others to use her.

  • Thank you so much for sharing your experience and knowlege. I have a girl 10 years old. She is altsa in the sprectrum asperg. So she is very open heart. She wanna have friends, but since she was 4/5 years old is target for being manipulate from a girl, school-mate and neighbour too. Her friends try to choose some behavours that I don’t like. I feel like I have to watch out all the time. Her neighbour just make my daughter break the rules. I talk to them on monday, but this girl seems like going NO to respect and start again. This situation give extra anxiety. 2 years ago I decided to talk to her mother, and her mother said that kids can be cruel and maybe because I am overeacting. I’m a little scared that my girl get bullied because She started said NO to this girl behavours. I should talk to her mother or the school??? Sorry about my English. Hugs from Norway ☀️❤

  • Me and my friend were so close, we fell out and now I’m trying to be friends with her, she says ‘we are fine’ then she send stuff like ‘k’ and always airs me and she is close with my close friends too, they say they will never leave me, it happened earlier, any advise I need it ��

  • It’s good to teach kids the difference between good and toxic friends. But I go the extra step and explain why that person may be toxic. This teaches compassion. I agree that boundary is important so your child does not get pulled in a poor self esteem spiral.

  • Thank you so soo much. I was crying before the video because of him, but now at the end of the video I am crying because of how amaizing you’ve desribed things and I am really happy that you now have new great relationship����

  • Guys please i need advice so basically one of my friends came up with the idea of going to a concert/music event thing and it started off with just a few people and they were like we’re not gonna invite X because they dont really like her and i was like… Um. I thought it wasnt that bad because it wasnt many people to begin then slowly everyone but X has been invited and I dont know what to do because X will be hurt that she wasnt invited and i didnt know what to do and now the planning has gone so far that i dont whether there is anything i can do. Someone please help.
    Btw we haven bought the tickets yet

  • am only 8 Year old any i get bullid someone time by me friend but this vidoe has help me And know i under stand who boss and they never bully me again Am happy that you possed this vidoe

  • Now I wonder if my ex friend watched this video. I think she left me because I never responded when I had my phone taken away for 4 months.

  • My boyfriend and I are only 13 and he says he say done “things” with other girls. I don’t really believe him but he is the kind of person that would do that! And if I do the maths then he would have only been 9 or 10 and so would of the girl! What should I do???

  • wish i watched this earlier… my heart got torn when my ex best friend turned on me for stupid reasons. this video really helped.

  • I’m 16 I was having boy troubles in this boy that was 17 he really hurting my feelings and needed someone to talk to and I was snapping my friend and then I put a be honest on my story and she was on the top of my story and she said I think it’s annoying that you snap me all the time on the group chat about your problems and it really made me mad because I’m always here for your problems when you needed to talk for me you don’t have to talk about my problems for once and I was just pissed off

  • I find it difficult making friends and I just don’t know why it goes wrong and I have been in a relationship were he just want sex and if he doesn’t get his own why he gets really aggressive and he cry

  • One of my guy best friends really hurt me. And I told my other close friends about it. They told me to stay away from him, but I want him in my life. I want to be in his life. One of my best friends told me she doesn’t wanna hear it anymore and that she’s done. I want her to be with me, she didn’t hurt me as much as he did, but idk what to do. I wanna be in his life and I wanna be in his life. He texted me and said he didn’t want me to leave, that he was sorry, that he needed me. My other friends aren’t as soft as I am and I accepted his apology. But I feel like I’m losing all my friends at this point. I’m trying to keep everything together but it’s not helping. I want him to be with me but I don’t want to lose my best friends.

  • 5:00 and that’s why I now have 2 ex bestfriends:)

    everything was good for the first years but the last few months was terrible..
    I am so much happier without them now!

  • When you that the person who doesn’t reply messages, I think maybe there are some reason behind it.
    Maybe they have social anxiety and depression.

  • 1 Corinthians 7:1-4 

    7  It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
    2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

  • Bro I move out it my home country and I’m boutta go back to it for holidays as I tried to reach out to my friend and he is ghosting me while viewing my stories �� mind that I knew them for 10 years

  • Me and my old friend who I knew for about 8 years fell out here’s why, we had an argument I said some pretty deep stuff which I regret alot and I saw him a few days after and him and some other guy jumped me and then i tried getting my sister’s boyfriend to message him and the other guy, the other guy sent him a video of it and my sister saw it and told my mom, police handled the situation and Its been about 7 months now and I rlly don’t know if I should redeem it after what he did because I feel like adding him back and messaging him but I’m not sure my mum would be happy if we did make up but we had some good times and got along I’d really like to clear the air with him, I’m not sure because it’s a sticky one and if you think I should redeem it then please give me advice.

  • It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to have anything to do with you, people have the right to not want to respond right away, people have the right to be annoyed and not wanting to text back. It’s not always gonna be perfect I mean we’re humans and we feel things, it’s just the person needs to understand that their partner needs space it’s not that they don’t want to be left alone forever. I mean think about it, you can’t always have one person or everyone as your top priority 24/7 wouldn’t you be exhausted and wanting to be alone? I get where your coming from but your making it sound like you always have to have attention to be proven that someone cares about you and that people are loyal to you. It has to be 50 50.

  • OKAY SO.. I’ve been in this squad who left me out so many times, and they’ve been mean to me sometimes and all. I found out they had all these plans to avoid me, and I just left. IF YOUR FRIENDS ARE DRAGGING YOU DOWN AND MAKING YOU DEPRESSED, GET YOURSELF OUT OF THERE BECAUSE YOU WILL FEEL HAPPIER ALONE THAN BEING WITH TOXIC FRIENDS. I PROMISE YOU THAT.

  • There are also not enough talking about the rights each individual rights when it comes to walking away from a toxic friendship & convincing a friend to not be close to a person that have been toxic to me and my life at a point. At first I couldn’t accept or understand the kind of situation whenever I see my friends are still friends with people who have hurt mentally. But later as I read more and more resources about emotional quality & emotional intelligence, I have learnt / learned and will try to understand that no human being is �� / perfect. Have you seen a quote that says something like “Hurt people, hurt people”?

    Yeah so I understand it this way, I will not take away the right of choice anyone I care have… including how they can be friends with people I don’t click & don’t get along with.

    Example: I had bad with person A, doesn’t mean person B has the same bad experience with person A. So there is no reason for me to break person B & person A ‘s relationship.

    However, I also have my rights. I have the choice to not to be around them when they hang out for the sake for my own peace of mind. Basically knowing & creating my own boundaries & this is part of a personal growth. And I make sure to be honest to my friends that I care for the genuine reasons why I won’t wanna be around if they hang out with the people I don’t wanna be around with. I’m grateful for the maturity levels of my close friends though, they understand me and never invited me to a gathering that includes certain people anymore which I’m happy about.

  • My friends were always telling me I need a boyfriend, I need a boyfriend. And they would say it’s because I’m pretty and whatever. Which I have mixed emotions for cause it’s like they meant good. I ended up dating a guy, that I barely knew. I gave me so much anxiety being in a relationship. I felt like I had to be someone else, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. He was a good person in the beginning, but he ended up falling for my best friend:(

  • Thank you for making this video.
    I have a 12 year old daughter who i think has a friend that is toxic and im finding it hard to get my daughter to see it.
    Any advice?

  • Thank you for the advice i saw this video its the first video I’ve ever saw of your channel and i subscribed seconds later your like a big sister and i love how ppl share there advice so other ppl can do better and learn and also those nails are so pretty girl ❤️

  • Now I am confused because, I have a best friend and I love her dearly but I don’t respond to her Imidiatly after she texts me, sometimes I’m in a bad mood and I don’t want to talk to anyone by sometimes I just don’t see it because I don’t have my phone with me (because I don’t really use it that often) does that make me a bad friend now??

    But other that that great video ��

  • I have a very old ex friend he’s a boy and we have been friends since I was 2 years old and he was 4 years old we used to play all the time but then he moved a bit far away he got addicted to video games and now he calls me stuff that makes me sad now I am 10 and he is 12

  • Kinda a Nieve, opinion, People get tired of it, your friends fuck your girl and you fuck your friends girl, it happens evertime. Not a big deal for me anymore. People like sex, so what. Why are you twisting it into some story at this point.

  • I grew up with a friend that was so sweet and always there for me, she was my bestie. Then the popular girls noticed her and she slowly started left me for them. It would’ve been fine if she didn’t completely forget about me. But she did.

  • YeahI have a guy friend and we have been a little distant lately. We were both involved in some school drama and it made things really akward, and I’m also kind of socially awkward so that doesn’t help. Another thing is that people spread rumors that I like him and it’s really been effecting the vibe of our conversations T-T any tips?
    Thanks ;-;

  • So my bff is amazing and the best bff that I can ever ask for but she lies too much about her having her period a bf and a whole bunch I love her and I don’t want to lose her when I confront her she changes the subject I think this is her way of making her feel better and I don’t want to lose her I want to help her any advice?

  • I don’t understand, my friend she talks a lot about her boyfriend. And I am friends with her boyfriend, I don’t care when they hang out and I’m happy she found him. But she talks about her boyfriend so much to the point where she takes screenshots of her chat, and I love that she’s happy. But…she’s always talking about him and he’s said something rude to me before and she never actually stuck up for me. And I don’t know, she just brings me down a lot and she starts a lot of fights with me just because she’s in a bad mood. I just don’t know how to express it because she would be my absolute bestfriend at one point but another she would be a total jerk and I don’t know how to express it. ��‍♀️��‍♀️

  • i was in love with this boy for two years and he knew but then he stopped but i still love him and idk what to do… hes a total jerk now but i still love him. He moved schools and that was TWO YEARS AGO but im still not over it. help? plzz

  • This is so true bc my friend Adrianna we were like the best of friends in 6 grade we did every thing together jus had a blast but now nd 7 grade she’s really not my friend like we sort of fell off nd kinda broke our relationship bc she stop coming to school so it was like I would see her only once every blue moon so I felt some type of way so when I see her now it’s like really weird or awkward moment nd it’s like ok.. �� I’m gonna go now but most ppl ain’t true friends if they treat u how they want like stand up for u don’t be getting pushed around all bc they feel like it um no not happening ��������

  • I really suck at texting back. I really don’t know why but I sometimes don’t text back for days even if I’m texting with my crush or someone that is really important. I don’t know what I should do because that way no one even texts me because they know I will not text back fast… Any tips?

  • Ok, so, I’m watching this cuz I’m moving to another country and I just realized that after I told my bff that I’m moving she has been ignoring my texts and she always lashes out on me

  • I thought i was a bad person bc i had a friend who i was with like only 1 month and then kinda stopped talking to them. And sometimes when im bored i hang out with them, but i guess im/they are seasonal.��

  • Were back to school she always looks at me n i think she thinks i dont like her but i do its just hard yk.
    Like i miss her lowkey the fun times and if we talked we would have been rlly good friends again.. give me 5 days��

  • Thanks a lot for this video. I have an old friend that I miss so much, but I don’t know how to rebuild our friendship because I feel we are different people now and we may no longer have the spark we used to have.

  • One of my favorite quote is that
    “We assume meant to be means forever. But maybe forever isn’t how long we are together, maybe it’s what I gain from you.”

  • Yeah I would never be her friend again cus I found her main acc and last week I gave her karma of telling her hope she gets deported

  • My ex best friend texted me some bad stuff and we fell apart and I miss her and the times we had I was a bad friend but I’ve grown and want to be friends again