How to reply to a Whiny Baby or Toddler

 

8 Reasons You’ve Got A Whiny Baby (And Solutions!)

Video taken from the channel: Rachel Norman


 

How to deal with a clingy toddler or child? 5 Ways! My kid is so dependent and needy!

Video taken from the channel: The Parenting Junkie


 

How to Respond When Your Kids Are Whining

Video taken from the channel: TEACH through Love


 

How To Get Your Toddler To Stop Whining. Gentle Parenting Tips! IT WORKS! No More Whining.

Video taken from the channel: Lindsay Christine


 

How To Stop Kids From Whining Stop Tantrums

Video taken from the channel: Kids In The House


 

How to Get Your Child to Stop Whining

Video taken from the channel: St. Louis Children’s Hospital


 

How To Stop Your Child’s Whining Without Yelling | Dad University

Video taken from the channel: Dad University


So choose to play with those more challenging toys when your toddler is happy, fed, and refreshed from a nap or a good night of sleep. 1  When the whining starts, gently transition to an activity that’s calming, like reading a story together or playing outside. One of the first and easiest things you can do to respond to a baby’s whining is check their diaper. You’ll know right away if that’s the source of their distress. Boredom. Lansbury reminds that if your children are looking for you, you don’t need to answer your them right away.

Instead of responding with, “I’m here,” try saying, “Oh, I’m over here actually.” Remember that you are the parent. Take on a leadership role and let some of the demands and “Mommys” pass by. Whenever your child speaks in a whiny voice say with a smile (to convey you are not angry), “I’m sorry but your voice is whiny and my ears don’t work. So often we hear whining and judge our child’s behavior (as spoiled or demanding).

But the way we see a behavior shapes how we respond to it. The truth is that whining is completely normal for toddlers. Knowing this behavior is normal, we can respond from a place of compassion instead of from a place of anger and frustration. Apply a little Zen discipline here and stay calm when your child begins whining.

1  Remember when your child was little and she fell, and then would watch for your reaction to decide how upset she should be? The same principle applies here. Explain: “People don’t like hearing the ‘whiny’ voice.

It hurts their ears, and makes them think you’re not a big boy.” Stay calm. Don’t snap, “Stop that whining!” and don’t label him a “whiner.” To a toddler, negative attention is better than no attention and labels have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecies (and you certainly don’t want that!). Welcoming a new baby into the family can really rock a toddler’s world! In the past, I have written several posts about how to prepare your toddler for a new sibling before the baby is born. Today, I’m sharing 8 ways to make the transition as smooth as possible after the baby has already arrived.

Pick a quiet time and tell your child that there’s a new rule: If he whines, you won’t respond. “From then on, whenever he whines, keep your facial expression absolutely neutral,” Borba says. Toddlers let off stress by simply having a meltdown, but as they get older they gain more self-control, and begin to whine instead. Be kind in response to his whining until you get home and have a few minutes to spend with him. Then draw him onto your lap, look him in the eye and say “I notice you were feeling so whiny and sad, Sweetie.

List of related literature:

In the case of a tantrum in the grocery store, you say firmly, “No, you can’t have a toy,” then “That’s not okay” when he whines or cries; then you ignore the fallout, occasionally expressing your disapproval if it continues: “That’s enough!”

“Jo Frost's Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior” by Jo Frost
from Jo Frost’s Toddler Rules: Your 5-Step Guide to Shaping Proper Behavior
by Jo Frost
Random House Publishing Group, 2014

Try repeating her feelings again (three to eight times, depending on her age and level of upset) in your best Toddler-ese to see if that will make her whining abate.

“The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative Oneto Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition” by Harvey Karp, M.D.
from The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful and Cooperative Oneto Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition
by Harvey Karp, M.D.
Random House Publishing Group, 2008

If your child’s whining continues even after you’ve taught her how to express her wants nicely, let her know that she has the right to have feelings and frustrations that only whining can relieve.

“Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems” by Jerry Wyckoff, PhD, Barbara C. Unell
from Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems
by Jerry Wyckoff, PhD, Barbara C. Unell
Meadowbrook, 2010

• Use positive reinforcement when the child self-regulates and avoids a tantrum.

“Pediatric Primary Care E-Book” by Catherine E. Burns, Ardys M. Dunn, Margaret A. Brady, Nancy Barber Starr, Catherine G. Blosser, Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks
from Pediatric Primary Care E-Book
by Catherine E. Burns, Ardys M. Dunn, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2012

By not reinforcing the whining and crying, the parent begins to extinguish this annoying behavior.

“What is Psychology?” by Ellen E. Pastorino, Susann M Doyle-Portillo
from What is Psychology?
by Ellen E. Pastorino, Susann M Doyle-Portillo
Cengage Learning, 2011

The next time they start screaming, if, again, you just hold them or hug them but don’t give them any sweets, the tantrum will end sooner.

“Mindfulness For Dummies” by Shamash Alidina
from Mindfulness For Dummies
by Shamash Alidina
Wiley, 2014

How firmly you respond to a tantrum should be guided by the level of your child’s ability to put emotions into words and communicate needs respectfully.

“Parenting with Grace, 2nd Edition Updated & Expanded: The Catholic Parents' Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids, 2nd Edition” by Gregory Popcak, Lisa Popcak
from Parenting with Grace, 2nd Edition Updated & Expanded: The Catholic Parents’ Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids, 2nd Edition
by Gregory Popcak, Lisa Popcak
Our Sunday Visitor, 2010

Point out when another child is whining—your toddler may agree that the noise is hard to take.

“What to Expect: The Second Year” by Heidi Murkoff
from What to Expect: The Second Year
by Heidi Murkoff
Simon & Schuster UK, 2012

You say to the baby (he doesn’t understand the words but he gets the tone) “I think you are getting spoiled.

“Dr. Spock's The First Two Years: The Emotional and Physical Needs of Children from Birth to Age 2” by Benjamin Spock, Martin T. Stein
from Dr. Spock’s The First Two Years: The Emotional and Physical Needs of Children from Birth to Age 2
by Benjamin Spock, Martin T. Stein
Pocket Books, 2002

My son went through a spurt of tantrums at around twelve months, and my first response to that was what every parenting book said to do: ignore the tantrums.

“The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby” by William Sears, Martha Sears
from The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby
by William Sears, Martha Sears
Little, Brown, 2001

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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47 comments

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  • I found the easiest way to get them to stop is to say I want to whine too. And just start whining over stupid things whine “I want a unicorn that farts rainbows” or “I want to swing from a cloud” really stupid stuff like that. Me and my cousin took her daughter’s to the park and we were getting ready to leave when her youngest started whining that she didn’t want to leave, I was tired and so was her mom and it just popped in my head, what would happen if I stated whining at her. So I started, then her mom started, yes we did get looks from people passing by because here was two grown women whining about unicorns and clouds. But it worked, almost immediately, she stopped and looked at us then the people staring and got so embarrassed that she never whined again, we had explained that that’s how we feel when she whined. Plus for some reason it was a great stress reliever and me and my cousin walked away laughing and smiling about it.

  • This is so helpful, my 3/5 year old girls constantly fight and can’t share toys or are telling on each other all day I sometimes yell cause it’s how I grew up. But this is helpful to remind myself how to deal with it

  • F Yesssss!!! GOD IN HEAVEN I WISH SOMEONE COULD EXPLAIN AND GET THIS THROUGH MY WOMAN’S HARD HEADED ARIES HEAD… ��‍♂️ (I love her do death but she always does things her way)

  • Thank You, Thank You, THANK YOU!!! My husband and I have been struggling with our 1 year old… The whining is out of control, and I didn’t know how to deal with it

  • isnt this type of parenting techniques what gave us millennials….. and we all know how they turned out. It seems to me, this is how it turned into hurt feelings mean the end of the world and imo thats not good for anyone. our future generations need to be more resilient not weaker

  • I really, really don’t like whining. But I know that kids tend to resort to whining when they’re tired, hungry, or bored.
    Here’s the FIX:
    · Baby’s Tired: Set age-appropriate nap schedules for every day, and be sure to Stick_to_them!
    45 min. 1 hr. at 10AM.
    1-1/2 2 hrs. about 1 hr. after lunch.
    Bring sleeper pillows & blankie if you’ll be ‘on-the-go’ during scheduled naps to make it easier to maintain regular rest schedules!
    · Baby’s Hungry: Pre-plan meal times; Add quick, easy snacks for times in between meals, that help to regulate and promote steady blood sugar. Veggies, with chewy, & crunchy texture are great; Add a protein to get a longer lasting, & more satisfying snack (it digests more slowly and steadily than carb sugars), such as:
    -peanut butter on celery, ‘real’ yogurt tubes w/o fruit, carrot stix or broccoli heads & dip, small baby food selections,
    -tofu, chix or turkey lettuce wraps
    -cheese-stuffed grape tomatoes or mushrooms, green beans (cooked al denté).
    Avoid simple carbs, sugar, or processed foods (crackers, sweetened drinks, or fruits) these promote spikes in blood sugar, causing dramatic crashes on the rebound, avoid if possiblet! Choose portable containers, and don’t forget handi-wipes!
    · Baby’s Bored: This requires pre-planning of age-appropriate activities.
    Use these in Dr.’s waiting rooms, on public transportation, and in restaurants. Coloring books, and small crayon boxes, hand-held games of skill, cross-words, tracing, Books, electronic devices for a limited time! Group games like, “I spy”, or “Chinese telephone”, group card & dice games. Carry these along in activity bags for handy access!

    · Another cause of whining may be the child is ill. Carry an e-thermometer to check for fever, have child-sized tylenol or ibuprofen meds, & ginger or peppermint ‘meds’ for belly aches!

    And, finally: Be firm and clear with your child about ‘No Whining’ policy, and stick to them! Consequences must be immediate, consistant, and effective! Use these tips to help prevent whining, and don’t forget to ask your child for their input on ideas, too!
    ❤��❤

  • Many people say spank them spank them…. Its like dude no. Thats not the solution. Thats just a easy scape goat and sometimes actually most of the time they start crying harder not to mention if your in public people look at you like your a physco. I saw a african american lady smack her kid like crazy and i was like wow some people should not have kids….. Dont be a bully try something else its 2017 there is better ways to disciplining your child

  • You know what, I saw a baby Elephant throwing a temper tantrum, and, all the adult Elephants just kept walking by the baby Elephant, completely ignoring the baby. And, the baby Elephant finally just stopped, and caught up to the other Elephants.

  • That simple she said. So if they start throwing things across the room, just ignore? I work with kids who act like that. I’m sure they learned it somewhere but do I just ignore?

  • “…put a bag over the weed, and put it in a dark closet…” I was almostwilling to literally do this.:P
    “..and in the child’s brain, something clicks…” MY BRAIN JUST CLICKED!!!

    How can a two minute video be so profound?!!My second child has cried since day one and now that he is over one, and running the show, its hard to take back the reigns. Thank you so much for this video!!!!!

  • i’ll give you the simple answer: tantrums are natural,they happen always.if you know you are not the patient type than can stand it, do not make children.easy as that.society is still fixed on the completely retarded ideea that you MUST get married and have kids cause “thats the purpose of you in life” and “you are not a grown up mature person if you don’t get married and have kids”. complete bullshit made up by people that had kids 30-40 years ago when they give no interest in the fact that your kid will grow up with mental issues.and there we are now dealing with those kids “educated” 20-30 years ago, watching them on live tv shooting in schools and churches and movie theaters.simple fact is that dealing with tantrums and screaming episodes is part of being a parent.it happens and it’s like that with any kid.if you can’t resist that,do not have children. we live on a planet that can support about 3-4 billion people and we are over 8 billion.we are many enough, do not worry, population wont be going down.use a damn condom,thats best against tantrums.

  • you turn your back,do your business,while the kid will try different ways to get attention.and guess what is one other perfect way?throw things on the ground,break stuff.i am sure you wont ignore that since one day he will break something made of glass and cut really bad and cry.ofcourse, you will ignore it “oh,there she is,whining again..”.. while your kid bleeds on the floor.next day you’re with child support at the door and you struggle to keep your kid’s custody..that if not he gets really bad health,than you must think how not to go to jail.so easy for some ppl to talk when they don’t know how many types of kids there are out there.

  • Don’t even act like only children whine honestly I don’t see a problem with it everyone including adults whine about something when it bothers them now excessive whining is what I don’t like but I’ll just make fun of them and make that same little voice they make to drive them crazy that’s what my mom does to me too it’s honestly funny

  • I treated my kids like and adult from the start they never whined after 3 years old never ran to me crying they dealt with their own issues effectively with and adult demeanour since the age of 5

  • my child whine more in public and cries at 7 yrs old and i found out why its because when he was a little baby he did not cry as much more less he did not say as much so now he is making up for it and i hate it!!! I did ignore it in public but people looking at me like wtf tend to your child why he crying and some older adults come to his aid and im like why is the happening right now all i need is to get him to stop by not sheltering and giving him attention but it never works out. what to do??????

  • Your analogies are extremely stupid just answer the question don’t try to be smart. We all have screaming kids we don’t have time for a bag over a weed.

  • Dont raise little bitches. Whoop that ass and if they didn’t learn the first time whoop that ass some more. I cannot stand hearing whiney bratty kids. I had to tell a lady to shut her pos child up once. She was shocked and embarrassed but her kid shut the fuck up

  • What should I do what if my wife and my mother in-law don’t want to ignore the kid when she whining and they upset with me when I told them to do that. My daughter is 20 months now. Please give me an advice. Many thanks.

  • Question: So we’re understanding why they’re whining and allowing them to understand/verbalize their emotions as well, also giving them space but how do we stop the whining? I mean it has to stop! Do we give them consequences? I can only take whining for so long:/

  • People are like “smack the kid” uhm no. A 1 year old doesn’t know that them trying to communicate with their parents/guardian is stressful on the adult. They’re simply trying to communicate. They don’t just “cry for no reason”. There’s always a reason. Weather it’s being hungry or not wanting to be alone. Maybe they’re scared. It’s a parents job to take care of the child and make sure they’re ok. If you can’t handle the crying don’t have kids. One of my babies are 1 year and the other is 2 months. I have my hands full CONSTANTLY. I’ve never resorted to hitting. We sleep trained our 1 year old and he was self soothing by 4 months. It’s all about how you parent them and hitting just results in violent children cause you’re teaching them that it’s ok to hit.

  • This is what I have been dealing for 4 crazy years and still going on. And it really really drives me crazy I don’t know what to do.

  • It s work for me my toddler is always whinning so i ignored him.then he cried more so i ignore him again i put myslef listening to the music then after a minutes he stop crying and said mommy i want some juice then i react for that and talk to him that whinning is not good if he is crying like that then no one bmver listen to you if he is going to tell what he wants then evryone is gonna listen to him..thats my experienced to my toddler..

  • the worst thing kids do
    however from birth guys,from birth i made sure they would NEVER whine nor cry for no reaon, i did what this nice lady said from the start
    my kids are very independent now

  • There actually another method, that’s been tried and proven quite effective. This method not only stops the undesirable behavior now, but prevents it from becoming a reoccurring pattern. When the lovely child screams, in a brat-like manner, spank the brats ass! That’s it! That’s ALL there is to it. Which technique to employ when spanking the ass, is a matter of personal preference and varies among embarrassed, fed-up parents. The “open, flat or cupped hand” method, is preferred by many, where as the “belt-in-hand” style gives parents a choice of a variety of belt designs. These range from thinner, sport-type belts, to the ever-popular thick leather variety. With practice, either choice will yield the desired outcome.

  • This teaching is misguided and harmful to kids. Imagine complaining about your frustrating day and your spouse pretends like you don’t exist? Ignoring a child is never a way to teach anything. Connecting with a child is the way to teach. Help them calm down then teach them how to ask for things. Yes, it will take longer than we want it to because learning and maturing take time. We are the ones who need to stop whining that teaching kids that nurturing real growth and maturation takes too much of our timeso we’re gonna train kids like puppies instead.

  • I’m 11, i have to use this on my cousin. Her mom gives into her so I have to teacher her. I told her I was going to check was time she would leave. I said, “lets go ask mommy when youll leave!” In a sweet voice. She said “I DONT WANT TO LEAVE!”. She jumped around, whined and fell on the floor. When she cries there arent tears. She looks at people wanting them to do something.

  • If you want your kid to stop whining, you turn around and yell back at them in their face and let them know they’re not in charge.

  • This doesn’t work. If I ask my children to do something, whining ensues. If I ignore it, my kids will have gotten away with not cleaning their roon.

  • First figure out if the child has a reason to whine. Have you lost yourself in your electronic world and forgotten to feed her? Is she tired? Lonely? How good a job are you doing as a parent?

  • Instructions not clear. Put a bag over the kids head and locked her in a closet, but she didn’t stop whining and now the cops are here. Please halp.

  • please stop one good spanking would stop all this then send them to bed take all there toys then give them things around home to do

  • They should use this for adults for liberals and democrats! all they do is cry like babies and throw temper tantrums when us Real Americans speak the truth and speak facts at them!

  • my 2 year old nephu keeps screaming for absolutely no reason. he’s in the “mine” phase so whenever you use anything he starts screaming and fights for whatever you have. and his parents dont even care they just take his side and say “let him have it” or “stop being mean to him, he did nothing wrong”. sometimes i dont know who to slap, the kid or his parents

  • this technique is not effective on a lot of kids. i think it depends on the child’s personality. if the kid is innately difficult, probably better to spank them… legally lol

  • With all due respect, you are obviously not 64 years of age, probably not alone and raising a 3 and 5 year old girl and boy on a fixed income.
    Guess I happened onto a video that does not address a grandmother trying to keep the three on an even keel but I will find one��
    Thank you but your advice is just not for me.

  • You need to just give a light smack. Discipline is key. If they don’t get their things together, and still whine they get a even harder smack. It’s easy.

  • I love this gentle parenting, you are so amazing and I sure will be purchasing those books on amazing to read because I am due to adopt a child this year (I’ve literally just started the adoption process, and due to our country here in the UK ���� being on lockdown Ive had to do lots of video calls with the duty social worker to show her around my home using my iPhone video FaceTime. It’s all very surreal having to do all the adoption process via video chats etc. but it will be worthwhile for me in the end because I will have my beautiful baby girl that I will adopt later this year). And I definitely will be using gentle parenting for my own child because it’s what I feel is right for me and my child and I love how you explain gentle parenting techniques within your videos. This was a great video Lindsey, god bless to you and your family, please stay safe and I will continue to recommend your YouTube channel to all my friends and family because you really are such a lovely, sweet family.

  • Wow! Worst advice ever!! Ignore it, and walk away, and than they begin to scream like psychos.
    Clearly this girl doesn’t have kids…

  • Yes itt does work well,i used that with my 4 children and definitely it is such an obvious thing to do but when we are busy, tired and usually in the middle of grocery shopping and they start whining it’s hard to think straight. �� If we know and have our boundaries as parents which would be gentle parenting then life alot less stressful.. awesome advice Lindsay. Hope it keeps working for u ��

  • Worked till my kid was 5yrs but not later she gotten more whining now I have to set boundaries very firmly else I reach out to her teacher to help her understand. Her DAD has spoiled her to the extend that she wants ��every time we shop. If I empathize to her she becomes more whining and demanding. I have to explain to her for an hour with an example of what you would become in future if you don’t listen then she empathize and gets soft and this whole thing has to be repeated every time she whines. My hairs are fading now but now I have a whining toddler son �� I m for sure going to die sooner ��

  • OMG!!!!!! Really? This is what happens when Millennials have kids. My son is 22 years old you know how I handled whining when he was a kid……”knock it off no one likes a whinner” and you know what NO ONE DOES that’s 100% correct. He got it much faster. I couldn’t imagine taking my child out side of a restaurant to “Express themselves”. Sorry everyone my innocent little child needs to express himself I will be back shortly. I’m sure that will work when they are teenage girls and they have learned, from you, that all I need to do is whine and mommy will take extra time to listen. Guess what, that will not work in the real world. I suggest you try that tomorrow, if you have a boss, go into your boss’s office and start whining about how many hours you have to work in a week or how hard your job is and lets just see what they say. I seriously doubt he/she is going to say let’s go outside and talk about it so you can express yourself.

  • This is the worst advice I have ever heard about the subject of whining. Raising children like this is a recipe for disaster, when the kid grows up they will be emotionally codependent, have no way of coping with situations that don’t go their way. Give me a break. Kids need to learn at an early age to respect adults, authority, and others. A child after 5 years old should never be allowed to act like a whiny little brat without a good reason. Of course if there is a good reason it is perfect to respond with love and sympathy, but if they are just whining to get their way, it must be because the parent allows that behavior to continue without implementing consequences. A child needs healthy boundaries and consequences or else they will walk all over their parents and their inner world is even more disturbed as a result of feeling unsafe with parents who doesn’t guide them through life with healthy boundaries. Read “love and Logic for Early Childhood” if you want to save your kid from becoming an adult wrecking ball who can’t cope when things don’t go their way in life.

  • I think many people lack critical thinking. She is merely saying to ignore whining behavior and when the kid speaks normal, then immediately react to normal behavior. There are many variations to this method, and many other ways. Most toddlers lack vocabulary to explain needs. Whining is easy. They want something. Then there is whining because you said “no”. I am not against physical discipline. It has a time and place. You actually don’t even have to hit a kid hard. Even a small smack on the bottom very lightly with a stern voice will make any kid cry. Many parents go overboard because of frustration and don’t realize their strength. There is no one parenting method that works. A parent that never spanks there child but has great communication skills can have a kid that turns out fine, or horrible. Usually external sources and influences and lack of engagement in kids life result in child hanging with wrong crowd…a whole other subject.

  • You sound like Bullshit!!! You are what is wrong with AMERICAS children.. My Child is fine without listening to your BS Psychotherapy!!!! You sound like, ok child of mine… lets got find a safe space where we can cry together about what we are sad about…. You are what is wrong with AMERICAS CHILDREN… FU you liberal FUCK!!! I WILL NEVER TEACH MY CHILD YOUR WAYS.. You are Americas PROBLEM

  • you really think a 2 year old will understand when you tell him or her (lets go outside so you can have some space)? at least I don’t think so.. NOT when they’re whining.

  • I’m a teacher and I hear my entire room whining if they don’t get to watch what they want to watch. It’s a cacophony of “nOOOO” and “we’ve already seen this”. I’m going to pay really close attention to the ones that don’t complain and make a big deal out of it.

  • my son whines all day long, about everything and nothing. I will get him to start expressing himself instead until its time to go to dads. when he returns I have to start over every time.