Helping Your Tween Cope With Negative Feelings

 

7 Ways to Detox Your Emotional Well Being

Video taken from the channel: Psych2Go


 

Positively Embrace Your Negative Emotions Teal Swan

Video taken from the channel: Teal Swan


 

Emotion Coping Skills

Video taken from the channel: Therapy in a Nutshell


 

Helping your Child Regulate Emotions

Video taken from the channel: Cornerstone Psychological Services


 

6 tips to help your children control their emotions | UCLA Healthy Living Tips

Video taken from the channel: UCLA Health


 

How to Deal with Negative Emotions Distress Tolerance

Video taken from the channel: Dr. Tracey Marks


 

Tip eleven: Helping your child manage negative feelings

Video taken from the channel: kingscollegelondon


Help your tween in identifying. Offer Fun Family Time. Your tween may be making a lot of friends, but it’s important that he or she maintains a close relationship with you as well.

Be sure your family plans monthly family outings, or schedule some one-on-one time with your tween to go to a movie, take a class, or enjoy other activities. Validating by paying attention, helping your teen clarify their thinking, normalizing your teen’s feelings or behaviors, and displaying empathy and acceptance. When appropriate, offer.

Step 1: Identify the Emotion Be aware of how you feel. When you have a negative emotion, such as anger, try to name what you’re feeling. For Don’t hide how you feel from yourself.

You might not want to broadcast your feelings to other people (like your ex, for Know why you feel the way you. Say your feeling out loud: “I am feeling _ right now.” Sing your feeling. Play your feeling on an instrument. Take a walk. Swim.

Stretch your body. Write your feeling. Draw your feeling. Regular exercise can provide an emotional lift as well as an outlet for negative emotions.   Meditation can help you find some inner “space” to work with, so your emotions don’t feel so overwhelming.   Finding opportunities for having fun and getting more laughter in your life can also change your perspective and relieve stress.

HELP YOUR TEEN FIND A HEALTHY OUTLET OR WAY TO EXPRESS ANGER Helping your teen to find an outlet for anger is a great way to provide a healthier coping mechanism for negative emotions. Everyone is different, so see what appeals to your child. Healthy outlets for anger can include: • sports • exercise • yoga • writing in a journal. by strengthening the connections between the amygdala (the key player in anxiety) and the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that can calm big emotions (and anxiety counts as a big emotion). The stronger the connections, the more the pre-frontal cortex is.

These evidence-based tips can help you teach your child to overcome negative impulses and emotions. 7. Be aware of the pitfalls of authoritarian parenting. Stern, dictatorial approaches to parenting have often been linked with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem in children.

Helping teens learn to accept their negative emotions, state their negative thoughts, and reframe their thinking gives them the tools to cope with future rejection and other stressful events. When we normalize the process, teens internalize these skills and.

List of related literature:

The key is to allow the expression of negative emotions and then attend to the triggers so the child’s distress goes away.

“What Babies Say Before They Can Talk: The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings” by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner
from What Babies Say Before They Can Talk: The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings
by Paul Holinger, Kalia Doner
Touchstone, 2009

tween positive thinking and focusing on the positive.

“Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Wellbeing” by Brian Luke Seaward
from Managing Stress: Principles and Strategies for Health and Wellbeing
by Brian Luke Seaward
Jones and Bartlett Publishers, 2006

Instead of encouraging parents to “let it all out,” we facilitate the use of neutral and positive expression as well as strategies for managing negative emotions.

“Evidence-Based Psychotherapies for Children and Adolescents, Second Edition” by John R. Weisz, Alan E. Kazdin
from Evidence-Based Psychotherapies for Children and Adolescents, Second Edition
by John R. Weisz, Alan E. Kazdin
Guilford Publications, 2010

Alternatively, does the child try to avoid negative emotions or begin to act out when feeling overwhelmed?

“Blending Play Therapy with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Evidence-Based and Other Effective Treatments and Techniques” by Athena A. Drewes
from Blending Play Therapy with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Evidence-Based and Other Effective Treatments and Techniques
by Athena A. Drewes
Wiley, 2009

Since positive emotions tend to inhibit negative ones, any such positive emotions help decrease negative ones.

“Affect Regulation Training: A Practitioners' Manual” by Matthias Berking, Brian Whitley
from Affect Regulation Training: A Practitioners’ Manual
by Matthias Berking, Brian Whitley
Springer New York, 2014

For example, preschool-age girls with hostile mothers show increasingly longer duration of negative emotion as their negative emotions accumulate (Dagne & Snyder, 2011).

“The Oxford Handbook of Emotion Dysregulation” by Theodore P. Beauchaine, Sheila E. Crowell, Sheila Elizabeth Crowell
from The Oxford Handbook of Emotion Dysregulation
by Theodore P. Beauchaine, Sheila E. Crowell, Sheila Elizabeth Crowell
Oxford University Press, 2020

• We teach appropriate ways of handling negative emotions.

“Child Development and Education” by Teresa M. McDevitt, Jeanne Ellis Ormrod, Glenn Cupit, Margaret Chandler, Valarie Aloa
from Child Development and Education
by Teresa M. McDevitt, Jeanne Ellis Ormrod, et. al.
Pearson Higher Education AU, 2012

Such activities will help to replace the negative feelings that were distressing her with positive feelings that will encourage her.

“Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministry” by Mark A. Yarhouse, Wesley Hill
from Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministry
by Mark A. Yarhouse, Wesley Hill
Zondervan, 2013

They gradually come to differentiate among the negative emotions of self and other-for example, realizing that one feels more sad than angry, when receiving “time out” from one’s preschool teacher.

“Handbook of Emotional Development” by Vanessa LoBue, Koraly Pérez-Edgar, Kristin A. Buss
from Handbook of Emotional Development
by Vanessa LoBue, Koraly Pérez-Edgar, Kristin A. Buss
Springer International Publishing, 2019

It is unfortunate that children of emotion-dismissing parents do not learn to deal with negative emotional moments such as sadness or anger, because these skills prepare them to deal with negative emotions later in life.

“Family Communication” by Chris Segrin, Jeanne Flora
from Family Communication
by Chris Segrin, Jeanne Flora
Taylor & Francis, 2011

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
Telephone: +1 (877) 492-3666

Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
Bibliography: oktay_bibliography

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151 comments

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  • Your video was very helpful, I converted to Christianity and I have been experiencing a lot of stress for emotions that I am not allow to experience because then I am evil and I am going to hell. It’s good to know that this is not the case.

  • Really great video. As someone who was not shown emotional regulation as a child, I can attest to long term difficulties in life. Thankfully as an adult I have the capacity to re-examine what I was taught growing up and learn a new ways forward. It’s hard work, but worth it.

  • Go to the gym. That is all. Its just you and the weights, they dont judge you, they never lie, they are always there for you and they makes you a better person. good luck!

  • This is refreshing most just want you to move on and to act like your emotions are invalid, like you can turn them on or off as a lightswitch, so whatever you fee and do (or don’t do) is a “choice” or an attitude. If you pipe up and point out that you want to accept your feelings and not run away with them, people will encounter that you’re asking to be enabled in some unproductive way. That’s been my experience, at least. It really complicates my efforts to recover from addiction, as well, which is a form of unhealthy escape. People do not need permission to have feelings, period. They don’t need to distract, cover up, lie about them, label them as something different, or placate others that simply breeds isolation and unhealthy coping mechanisms. The more you push emotions aside and deny them, the bigger the tsunami will be at some point when a moment of reckoning comes.

  • This chanel is amazing! Ifeel so blessed that I can watch those videos �� Thank you for your help! Our world needs more emotional and menthal support ������

  • Dr. Marks, you’re amazing ❤️ your channel should have more support. The way you talk and explain things is relaxing and makes me feel like there is support other that really gets what we’re struggling with.

  • Who hasn’t thought of beating their boss down to the ground! �� Really enjoyed this video and your subtle humour as well. Completely agree about recognising our negative emotions!

  • This is so helpful! I truly get enraged and caught up & tangled in it. And, I have terrible OCD especially when I’m frustrated/sad/angry/emotionally uncomfortable. Thanks to my therapist and you Dr. Marks I’m realizing my OCD is most likely my attempts at trying to avoid those negative feelings. Thank you for your explanations.

  • Thank you for this wonderful video. I directed an adult education program and many of our students struggled with identifying and dealing with their emotions. On a lot of days, so did all of us on staff. (Yes, the brownies and eyebrows comment applied to me.)If we are able to reopen post-Covid, you’ve given me great language to use when talking to students and I can refer the videos to everyone. You have created a fabulous resource.

  • Where are there extreme emotions in a person..like im all good & next day im drowning! How do we pull someone out of extreme lows?

  • https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCedc43cXZMjrH6gKos1SeGA?view_as=subscriber Are you facing problems? solution is hear…read carefully Visit my channel Mindful Journey Dr Gunjan Vishwakarma for free career, Relationship and Love Rashi Wise advice through Tarot card. What’s app me at 7424830300 to book a tarot reading.
    Thanks in advanced.

  • I love your videos. I am so grateful you are here. I have been looking for a culturally appropriate psychiatrist to no avail. Instead I am stuck with a white guy who doesn’t understand anti Black racism and is therefore detached.

  • I discovered these videos because of my research on PMDD. Thank you for the clear and relatable answers to questions that plague so many.

  • Thank you for this. Not a lot of therapists and doctors bring up self-harm as a coping mechanism, and even if they do they don’t really tell you how to deal with it. I have heard of the “allow yourself to feel your emotions” but it is so hard to do! You gave me a good template to use the next time I’m overwhelmed.

  • This video made me realize how much suppressed anger built up inside in me because I feel like I was never allowed to express myself without out being criticized or judged. And in a result, my anger turned into really bad anxiety and avoidance behavior.

  • When I feel anxiety and not talk to people, they say I am selfish and I just care about my emotions. This breaks my heart. I have always been good and available in other’s need. But people don’t allow me to take a break and don’t let me help in my anxiety. Please help me, I am tired…

  • Emotion coping skills ⬇️

    1)Do a Brain dump

    2)Talk with a friend or someone whose not involved

    3)Journal about it,write frequently about what going on,take the time to explore it

    4)Tell a cat or a pet anything you’re feeling and tell them the worst thing you’ve ever done and his calm reaction may reassure you that you’re ok

    5)Go someplace you feel safe and allow yourself to cry

    6)!Write a song, a poem,or short story expressing how you feel

    7) Take a moment to give yourself some credit noticed and write down some of the hard things you’ve been through that day

    8) Give yourself credit for the little successes like, 1)getting out of bed. 2) checking off something in your to do lists. 3) staying calm in a tough situation ect

    9)Practice mindfulness or meditation ( Using the app stop breath and think)

    10)Pray and reach out to a higher power

    11)Read sacred or inspirational texts

    12)Write a lists of things that you are grateful for

    13)Express emotions through art or music

    14)Paint quickly and focus on the colours

    15)Use clay to shape your feeling abstractly

    16)Play a lists of songs that express your emotions (for example sad day playlists or angry playlists )

    17)Play an intrusment/ choose a song that matches your emotions/ song it out and express how you feel

    18) Use an app like (inside timer or moditune )to track your emotions

    19) Check out with yourself throughout the day and take a moment to process your emotions
    And thoughts instead of letting them build up

    20)Take a minute before bed to pay attention to your feelings write about them or drawn a mind map and noticed the different parts,you may have a proud part of you and an angry part at the same time.
    Take a minute to acknowledge each of your parts,listen to them, give them a minute a to be heard,
    Then remind yourself it’s ok to feel and that everything is going to be alright”

  • I just meet someone from high school almost 35 years, I know the past is the past…but I am getting that Great GATSPY feeling… I have been watching the great Gatsby.. Will, i be like Gatsby in the pool…

  • You got me at I want to beat my boss down I’m glad I watch this video if he knew he would be glad too thanks doc from me and my family

  • Can someone explain it to me.. am very good on controling my emotions on my own. But it get out of control when around people, because i always have in my mind if i feel any way people around sense it even if i dont say a thing. That way what does it matter if i detach from it, people will still pick it up around me and will know how i feel. That way i start to think people are reading my mind or such..

  • I suffer from anxiety. I always thought it was mainly due to the fact I was sexually abused as a child, however, after listening to how my unprocessed/repressed anger can manifest as anxiety or depression this makes much more sense!

  • I just wanted to say how helpful this was for me. I have some BPD symptoms but can’t be sure, haven’t received any diagnoses. When you broke down the steps to mindfulness, I practiced it along with you and immediately felt relief. It really puts the emotions into perspective honoring them without acting on them. I’m going to print out your template and practice regularly. Thank you!

  • This is so helpful, denying and not recognizing my emotions is definitely a lifelong battle. Will definitely be using these strategies, thank you!

  • But what do you about a child who cries about every freaking thing…she even cries or whines or makes the most trivial things into a dramatic event. Like I tapped her on the shoulder to say lets go and she screamed you hit me when I did no such thing. Im starting to think her temperament stems from the depression and extreme stress I went through during pregnancy. The simplest things are so stressful. I cant correct her on anything it always turns into a crying session.

  • Thank You for your information. This really helps to unstigmatise mental health issues. It was too taboo to talk about back in my day. Maybe the next generation will own their mental health. Many Thanks.

  • I used to have many dreams about being in waves. I eventually learnt to stop fighting them and then I stopped having the dreams. So I go with the flow but it gets me in trouble when people are angry with me. How do I acknowledge other people’s negative emotions?

  • We are based off our environment or you can find that you have a choice. If our environment doesn’t support us or build us up then we may cope however we can. To admit that we are struggling within our environment will give us an identity that this is what we are going through, which will be what we can call having a difficult time with our emotions. To then realize our emotions are there as a protection mechanism, this can give us the understanding that we protect ourselves quite often from feeling bad or things not going our way. Then understand that you are not in control of the world around you (your environment), but you are only in control of how you manage yourself, this will be the only thing you have 100% control over. The world around you will be what it is, if you can allow this to a healthy capacity, and if you can manage what is in you (your emotions), then you can allow the world around you to be the way it is without it having a direct impact on who you are. Obviously if you are in danger, then you do something about it and not allow it to just be, but let’s just say that most situations we are in are not putting us in danger, then we can decide how to make ourselves work for us.

    Let’s consider self control as a skill to level up in, tools or equipment we can use to assist us in this journey of life. If you can’t be in control of yourself, is to live based on however you can cope and based off however the world around you makes you feel. If you feel you need to change your environment, outside of imminent threat or danger, then first start with the change within you. To do so is to be honest, accept that you’re struggling, to realize your struggle is just a struggle and doesn’t define you, doesn’t make you a bad person, it is just a lack of skill, education, and practice in what you’re struggling with. Come to this place within you, take responsibility for your emotions within out placing blame, and find that you are the only one in control of your emotions, and not responsible for how some else copes. If you can set yourself free to be responsible for your emotions, then you can set others free to be as they want, and no one is perfect, they are struggling just as well and just coping how they will with the skills they have

    Over time, through practicing that you are only in control of yourself and allowing others to be how they may, you may find moments where you can decide how to control your self. If you do, then you are finally in control. To be in control is when we see that while our emotions are powerful, that does not mean we are powerless to them. Our emotions are just an instinct to support us, and we give into them because of how strong our emotions are in order to help us feel protected. However, realize that most of the time, your life may not be threatened and emotions don’t differentiate and just react to protect and support us; emotions see most things as danger although there may be no harm being done.

    See that you can choose what to do or just give in and continue being controlled by the emotions. It’s a life process, but as with anything, practice helps to improve anything. Know that when you fail with emotional regulation, you have found a way to not do something incorrectly, therefore, you found an opportunity to improve; and ultimately, failure is something that happens or it can define who we are. It takes time to improve our sense of self. This life is a journey not a destination. Realize you have been given this life, and it will one day be over, so use it wisely and be in control of your life, not waste it or give it away, not make others responsible for who we are, but come to a place that we value having this experience, accept responsibility for we are regardless of our circumstance, be aware that we can improve anything we give attention to, and you can only be responsible for why you are the way you are or why you feel the way you do. It’s not your job to determine how someone is reckless with their responsibility or make them see their errors. You be the change within you that you want to see around you.

  • Thank you Dr. Marks! I downloaded the emotion cards and it is so helpful because I realize that I have suppressed or not acknowledged the emotions that are not in the Happy card. I am a people-pleaser and always wanted to keep all the love ones around me happy. I thought it meant that if my emotions are not positive, I should avoid it, have mental strength to control it, suppress it, not let it propagate to someone else. And if I can’t avoid it, I beat myself up over it. I have been dealing with the consequences of that habit. Thank you for showing me that feeling what I feel is just fine.

  • I saw teals eyes shapeshift to reptile eyes maybe this is good. Cats do it all the time and they are enlightened masters. Cause cats can handle negatives.

  • Thanks for rehashing this. This is exactly what my therapist told me. She told me not to fight the feelings. She told me not to fight for curing it. I gave up on trying to cure it.

  • I’m feeling really bad, I’m in a toxic relationship, drugs and alcohol are my escape, I need and want help because I don’t like the way I live. I’m not doing this as a joke, please help me

  • So i m in a relationship nd i was going through a negative thought which is quite illogical but still i can’t a way to get out of it. Idk what should i do, but i m trying my best to overcome this.

  • Doctor, I have been in an abusive relationship recently it ended and I feel so much better. He was treating me with this silent treatment, I used to feel punished, I used to think I am guilty all the time! Few times I caught him cheating like talking to other girls behind my back, found cosmetics at his place that wasn’t mine but he would get angry with me for finding out and say things like why are you checking my stuff and etc. At the beginning of our relationship he was great and I thought we were soulmates. He would tell me we would get married however he never had done anything about that and he was still making me upset and frustrated. Is he a narcissist? What was wrong? Was it really me who to blame? I feel like I am losing myself and life seems meaningless without him!

  • I don’t know if its just me, but you have a real bright aura. It’s symbolic of all the light you produce in the form of information.

  • Now I need an example for how to deal with fear. When I’m in social situations, I can’t show that im anxious and therefore have to supress it.

  • Please make more videos on bpd and fear of abandonment doc! Thanks so much for doing these videos. The isolation is making me very very anxious and ive m been binging till my stomach hurts, then i feel an immense amount of guilt and shame.
    I also pick my Scalp till it scabs and waters and bleeds. I’m really petrified cause my dad is still working and he smokes and he’s almost 60. I’m so freaking petrified i cry

  • Brilliant video Dr Marks. You explain things so clearly and concisely and it all seems manageable and calm. Fantastic doctor and lovely person. Thank you Dr Marks xxx

  • Thank you so much. I’ve been trying to find ways to do this with little support. Everyone keeps telling me I should think the negative thoughts and this was so much better for me. Thank you!

  • Dr. Marks, you’re the Angel on my right shoulder who beat the Devil on my left “down to the ground”. With all jokes aside, thanks!

  • I’m here because I yelled at burst out in anger overy my Mom after she broke up my tumbler. I really can’t control my emotions a while ago. When I was trying to fix my tumbler, I realized that I am getting angry over my Mom for a nonsense think. After I fixed it I asked sorry to my Mom. Right now my conscience is really killing me. ��

  • Any tips on 10nyear old boys who feels like people people are blaming him when no one ever dose please always had a happy boy and suddenly he turn to get angry over any think

  • This is great, thanks for sharing! For more strategies on emotional regulation for kids, check this out:) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rY_Nf6YskI

  • I now say let me hug you and you can talk to me but all I get is go away don’t talk to me so I’m lost I never shout I walk off and take his phone of him if he on it

  • This was great, I been tryin to find out about “anger management training module” for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about Meyaarn Unprecedented Magic (should be on google have a look )? It is a smashing one of a kind guide for discovering how to get rid of your anger issues without the headache. Ive heard some pretty good things about it and my friend got amazing success with it.

  • A parent/adult that is not in touch with their own authentic emotional experience is not going to be able to adequately recognize and name what their child is experiencing. Adults can greatly benefit from an ongoing mindfulness practice.

  • Thank you for this content. This is what I wished for from my parents as a child. But I will try to do this with children I meet in my life and hopefully that will make a small impact in their lives so they know they are worthy of love.

  • I explore my negative emotions but I feel like I’m walking in circles. For example, one thing that gets me is when people insinuate that I’m being selfish. Even or especially if I know that they are just trying to manipulate me. It just gets in my head makes me crazy. Exploring it is not enough. Asking questions is not enough. I know why I feel shame so easy. Now I want to know how to move on.

  • Teaching your child that they are not breathing correctly will make them worry about in in the future, it could cause an anxiety disorder. This is bad advice, if they haven’t noticed how the lungs work then don’t do tell how they do, if they still are angry as teenagers well then teach them how to breath because the mind has developed more.

  • I’ve always had a happy fun boy now he 10 he getting angry over if he thinks some one is being mean on some games like road box he said your always blameing me… When I’m trying to talk to him and I’m never blameing him he gets angry and crying for no reason lost to no what to do as makes me sad seeing him sad

  • These tips are interesting, but for some you need the energy to do them.
    I’m often very very low on energy, which makes it very difficult to even think about having the energy to go to a store or change my room… I know it’s usually when i’m overstimulated by work (like today) and my energy will come back (always very slowly, but i still heal…). So its also okay to just lay in bed and wait for the energy to come… Next to movies, watching old pictures/ eating or sniffing favorite food from my childhood also helps…

  • Children should also be given a period in their carriculam to enhance their EQ (emotional quotient) to handle stress, emotions, peer pressure, conflicts, thoughts, feelings etc. by an educated faculty who can deal with these topics.����

  • How do you apply all these recommendations to a three year toddler? Are they able to understand all what you say? When is the best time to talk about emotions they experience? I try to talk right after the melt down but so far no results �� looks like they (have twins) they dont remember anything of what I have said. I feel so hopeless and losing my patience and mind with these tantrums that are becoming so frequent. I feel so tired and such a failure on helping them regulate their emotions ����

  • It’s day 3 of me just got out of a breakup…..im trying my best to move on and do something nice for myself but it’s hard…it still hurts…..I don’t want the pain to stay….that’s why even tho it hurts I keep moving forward……
    It hurts alot…..
    I don’t want to feel like this anymore…..

  • It’s good that this type of channel exists but I wish I never have to see this type of videos…..but life is strange and not all get to see the real essence of life and end up being mentally and exhausted

  • I got angry at my classmate because he called me an idiot in a game but i didn’t know that it was his brother who called me and idiot now his mom is going to talk to me tomorrow at school

  • Thank you SOOOOOOOO MUCH for this information because we tend, as parents, to gloss over the impact that we have on our children!!!!!!

  • This speaker make me / (I elect to feel) uncomfortable. Constant looking to his left makes me feel that something is going on elsewhere in the room he is in. His hands invite me in then his eyes look away so constantly I am thrown off and become uncomfortably bored. His monotone and not making a moment of competition at the end of a sentence makes it difficult to absorb the information. Explicably if he introduces a heavy topic / thought it seems too hard to mentally decode and my mind wanders.

    At 5:40 he mentions ‘none verbal communication” and my feeling is that his eyes says he is over stressed or loss of sleep or more commonly, high on marijuana. His eyes looks away so rapidly and often, I feel he dosen;t care about his audience.

    His body is turn 3/4 turn to his right which is a nice visual composition, as he is a little off to the left. And then again he keeps looking off the edge of the farme into??????

    It is also very odd that it seems only his face and hands move and the shirt stays static. It starts to look a bit scary.

    Because of that constant look to the left, his head moves horizontally in the “no indicated direction”. Which is a subconscious way of saying “I don’t believe what I am saying.”

    These is no reassuring vertical nod.

    The constant furrowing of his brow and eyebrows makes me ask if he is constipated (emotionally) or having a bad time talking And more uniformly the speaker looks very uncomfortable.

  • I came across DBT because a friend had gone through it. When I looked it up, I discovered I’d stumbled onto most of the elements myself. Given my experience with others, I suggest almost everyone could use DBT.

  • I really like all your sessions. I can learn a lot and get plenty of information. You speak really and explain really well. Thank you.

  • Very helpful video. It helped me understand the role parents and supervising adults have in helping kids identify and regulate their emotions.

  • Thanks again. “…greed, which is to demand ever more, is a praiseworthy quality provided that it is displayed under the right circumstances. Thus, should a person show greed in acquiring science and knowledge, or in the exercise of compassion, high-mindedness and justice, this would be most praiseworthy.” Baha’i Faith

  • Good advice wish it could have worked for me I was in a domestic violence situation where I was in daily fear till I went to bed every night where my x was abisuve and brainwashing my family to do wrong I naturally carried feelings of fear and trauma out of trying to protect them and being guided wrong in life this comes from a parent who’s had to try to regulate intense fear in a domestic violence situation one thing I could not do was switch off my feelings and naturally I feeling fear for a very valid reason would in turn have affected my children and this trauma continued for 20 years long after I left the situation

  • Thank you very much. I wish I could get my elderly parents to watch this, but they wouldn’t understand. They’ve never validated my feelings. I know that’s because their feelings were never validated. So we all internalise and it gets us nowhere. Things could be so much better but time is running out for them. Keep up the great work!

  • Thanks for this video I am a new Children’s Life Coach with a focus on children with long term illnesses (sickle cell disease). This is very helpful.

  • Thank you for all of your help and intelligent guidance! These videos have assisted me greatly in becoming a more conscious parent.

  • Thanks so much for this video.

    I’m a nanny, and am currently perusing my bachelors in social work, as well as becoming an art therapist. This kind of straightforward empathetic problem solving is something I can apply in both my schooling and my work:) definitely subscribing!

  • I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words, you do a good job of articulating and sharing not just one view point but several on the same matter which is awesome you and I think similar but I cant express myself in the same way you can. I’m jealous. That video was satisfying though. Like cutting a fresh sheet of construction paper with super sharp scissors..

  • Meditation and a picture of someone sitting in a lotus position is recommended a little to much in the therapy industry in general. My take on it is if you haven’t personally used meditation to help fix something, and can’t instruct someone else in exactly how to do and apply meditation to well being, avoid recommending it other than in passing. Meditation can also result in side effects which has been pursued by Dr Britton who also has a Ted Talk on it and started Cheetahhouse.org. I personally experienced some really troublesome side effects so I try to mention it when it comes up. Love your videos! Thanks for the work you do.

  • The cat thing is a good idea… the fact that it doesn’t care and doesn’t judge what do you with your life as long you feed it, seems like a great idea. Haha

    Don’t do brain dump to your friends… pity them… They already have enough drama in their own. Instead make plan fun activities with them.

  • I am training to become a counsellor and I really love working on my emotional resilience in the morning. I find that by working on movement, mindfulness and consistent morning learning that I cope so much better through the day.

  • I have to agree with you. and your video has made me refer back to my religious book that talks about it, summing it all up in a mere few words: Gratitude, patience and accepting your reality as it is (as everything happens on purpose by the will of God) is the way to go under all circumstances.

  • I am not my emotion… So what do I do if I am always carrying the emotion in my stomach like I am pregnant with it ever present?:'(

  • Last week I took part in this course and in your “Change your brain”-Course and they were so helpful for me. Thank you! I can highly recommend your Courses!

  • Thanks again. “…greed, which is to demand ever more, is a praiseworthy quality provided that it is displayed under the right circumstances. Thus, should a person show greed in acquiring science and knowledge, or in the exercise of compassion, high-mindedness and justice, this would be most praiseworthy.” Baha’i Faith

  • Omg I recently began watching avatar the last air bender and the NOSTALGIA helps my anxiety and mood. It also has great life lessons

  • The claim she makes is more than accurate. This concept will not only transform but will literally save your life. It saved mine! Thank you Teal.

  • Please cut the music, I am a highly-sensitive person and it absolutely makes me nervous and heavily distracts me from the information. I think I cannot even finish it.

  • Thanks again. “…greed, which is to demand ever more, is a praiseworthy quality provided that it is displayed under the right circumstances. Thus, should a person show greed in acquiring science and knowledge, or in the exercise of compassion, high-mindedness and justice, this would be most praiseworthy.” Baha’i Faith

  • How can you do anything on this list if you have severe depression and anxiety I do and some of these things are very difficult for me to accomplish

  • Thank you <3 That helped a lot. I seem to get frustrated and angry when my kids' emotions spin out of control... i spank and i cry afterwards... its really terrible..

    My dad used to do and treat me that way… and now its all coming out.. i dont know how to stop it and how to control my own emotions.. These days i find myself passing it onto my partner and asking him to deal with the situation when the kids are out of control:( i dont want my kids to become angry people… i have become an angry and easily frustrated person:( so impatient

  • Quick story
    After 3 days of constant panic, panic attacks and fear of fear itself, i started to accept anxiety as my best friend, a friend who is going to stay with me forever. Then i relaxed completly and started to laugh. That told me a lot about acceptance. I hope it tells you too

  • not gonna lie, that clay analogy hit me right in the feels. it truly hit home its ok to have bad and good days. that’s natural as long as I allow myself to move on and learn from it. I sought this video because of an incredibly ROUGH night at work and debating/ ruminating on whether I made a mistake or not. I’m taking this knowledge going forward to be a better person. ill not resist.

  • Thank you for this, great advice. However, all of these strategies are “after the fact” or at a later time. What strategies are for when you are in the middle of such emotions? Even more so, when you are facing someone or a situation with others where these emotions arise. In those situations one cannot just stop and meditate, reflect, etc… one has to deal with the issue(s) at hand… but how if one if being challenged with emotions such as fear, anger, or insecurity?

  • You’re correct however, negative emotions are needed to deal with certain unfavourable situation’s. those contrast make it worth the value of having. its more like you baiting the fish but resisting the rope dipping into the river

  • Teal swan can u pls make a video about people who are highly sensitive people who react badly to everything and who have problems to relax and calm down like me i just cant sit with my self i have chronic pain and fatigue im emotionally at my end pls teal make a video about this

  • I appreciate your humar. This is the third video of yours that Ive watched this one is what I’ve been looking for. The negative emotions are what I focus on most. And also why can’t I be normal. I guess like everyone else. I love that you laughed for whatever reason it put me at ease so thank you.

  • Thank You �� Dr Marks �� for the awesome videos you have for us. I was brought into this world at a time when children were seen and not heard. My parents did the best they knew how for their life experience. Very controlling. I enlisted with the U.S. Air Force six days after high School graduation. For me it was one of the best things I could have done. After my four year enlistment I have been on a life long learning quest. Thanks again and God �� bless you and your family.

  • While I appreciate the effort, I can’t help but feel that this is some bullshit. It’s easy for someone who doesn’t deal with anger and rage to say “oh you just don’t let it take over” and sadly this just isn’t the case

  • It so logical. But when living from day to day I find it’s easy to not acknowledge how easy we avoid negative emotions. After all we are not functioning at our best (especially during work) when focusing on negativity. Then at the end of a long stressful day I personally never feel like focusing on anything negative, I feel it’s the only part of the day that I can start to focus on being stress free(zen)…..

  • Teal is the only person in my life who said it’s ok to feel negative emotions. I’m so grateful for you. I am 10x healither mentality and emotional because I embrace my negative emotions and the lessons they me. ��������

  • This video has NUMEROUS valuable pieces that I will absorb as I continue the quest of mastering my emotions (because I have come to realize, at 39, how insanely important it is to do this in order to live a truly fulfilling life).

  • Hello there Emma. Thanks a bunch for this content your videos are so helping. I’m so interested in psychology, started reading the book get out of your mind and into your life about a week now it’s incredible. I would like to take the course of Mental Health and Neuroplasticity for free, but I don’t know how to send you a private msg. can you plz send me your email or tell how I can get do it to get that coupon code.

  • ‘But if a bear comes in and bares its teeth at me, I WILL wet my pants and run’ hahaha literally laughed out loud at this bit. Thank you so much for putting the effort in and providing these videos! They’re so helpful!

  • there was a lady called Clare weekes who developed a way for people to overcome nervous illness, He method the same as Teals, you must accept those emotions and go towards them, Face, Accept, float with them and let time pass. No resistance

  • I’ve been watching your videos for awhile on YouTube. I started about a month ago seeing your aura surrounding you in your videos, not all the time, but several, but this video same thing happened, the only difference is this time your aura shifted out of you over to the side and looked like another glowing person sanding right beside you in a golden greenish luminating glow. Lingered there a couple of seconds then slowly shifted back into place, I’ve never really have seen auras like this before as often as I do now, I’ve been focusing on my spiritual side and doing things too raise my vibration more and opening my third eye more, I’ve been into studying law of attraction quite a bit more and focusing on positive affirmations, I’ve always have been quite spiritual, but lost myself there for awhile when my son died suddenly. I’ve been getting back to it and seeking knowledge on all levels, but like I said the seeing aura thing is something new, and I mostly see them in videos, could you please tell me what could be causing me to be able to see auras now, for I don’t have all the answers and I’m quite curious. Thank you

  • Good day, My feedback is very positive  [ Check Details here = https://www.facebook.com/Manifest-167931680448104/app/208195102528120 ]! I am so happy to read a book that highlights spiritual teachings that are not necessarily related to “organized religions”; it is truly “fresh air” 😉 In addition, I love that this book invites us to “truly INVEST IN OURSELVES” I have not seen many books handle this topic in the same intimate manner; writing about our soul, our subconscious; etc. A great read! Thank you. Patrick A. McCarthy

  • Thank you so much, Teal. Every time I’m in emotional distress, shedding millions of tears you’ve helped me feel better. And now I’ve learned that the distress was caused by my rejecting my emotions. Powerful. So powerful, thank you!!!

  • I have been dealing with negative emotions for the first time in my young 49 years of life. This video has SAVED my life. Thank you, I LOVE YOU TEAL❤️

  • Dr. Marks, Your video on this topic is extremely informative. I am intrigued by the concept of ‘watching’ one’s emotions and thoughts come and go, but for me it begs the question of exactly what is doing the watching. Are you able to recommend any books on consciousness? Thank you.

  • I watched a recent Abraham-Hicks workshop where Abraham (AGAIN) told someone to “change the subject and focus on something that feels better” when they are in resistance. According to Abraham, anything you are focusing on (i.e. negative emotion) will continue to get bigger simply due to law of attraction. I’ve learned from personal experience and being a former “devout” follower of their teachings that this does not work. I experienced severe grief years ago, and this “positive focus” only led me to developing a disease and other complications in my life. It wasn’t until I finally allowed myself to acknowledge the “awfulness” of how I really felt that my feelings of grief and anger loosened its grip on me. Teal is right, what we resist really does PERSIST.

  • Devils voice and angels voice one on each shoulder u have make things fun –
    Mindfulness has to be creative sorry this is so depressing for me
    Any way is rather read the bible no word of bpd in there

  • Yes, I agree that we have to treat our thoughts/feelings the way we treat our own child compassionate, respectful, patient, and with the kind of awareness that is not indulging/blind.

    https://www.facebook.com/timeisgift/posts/455380231500732?pnref=story

  • It’s a friggin catch 22… I’m so stuck right now. Keep waiting for things to change, be different… days/weeks/months seem to be repeats. I’m tired of being in my negative emotions.

  • “I am so excited to share my unbelievable manifesting experience after just three weeks on your manifesting program [ Check Details here = https://docs.google.com/document/d/1u_JTTJeASQZmb7KZVv1H9LhnhJLLWng5OwONTd6tYeI/edit?usp=sharing ]! I am in sales and I just started new job a couple of months ago. It is a very pressured environment and time is of the essence for closing deals at a small company. I had been working on a competitive opportunity, but they continuously expressed in all of our meetings that nothing could happen until 2006, which is forever in sales. We set up a lunch meeting with the key stake holders to see if we could be creative in somehow getting them to move a little faster.

  • Teal. This is an ace. You had hit the point straight and I take a bow in respect to your preachings. Accept the negative emotions instantly at the core and experience those with joy. This sustains our higher positive vibrations in sync with of universe and our lives deep desires would eventually surface in our thoughts when there is no conflict and resistance in the mind. By not having resistance we automatically allow this universe tho manifest life desires to become a reality.

  • I literally used this little paragraph that u put every second of the day because I have anger problems and my mom just says ur fine like every fucking time when something wrong so I have to deal with it myself and I’m starting to see how bad it is and also i feel like I’m feeding it too much attention and it takes focus out of my day and ruins it and I don’t know what to do.also I feel like when I get sad the happiness covers it but Theres still sadness left from before but then after when I’m a regular mode I feel it again
    But then I can’t force myself to be sad when happiness is coming so what’s that about maybe u could tell me?

  • On social media or do I just run the rat race and fulfill societies “American Dream?” I know what I want but it terrifies me to make the decision. Teal, can you please help me on this decision? I read your book, Shadows before Dawn and you were saying how you went to school for Philosophy and you began to dread being in college which is why you left and focused on doing something that brought you happiness. I really need some guidance and assistance. If there’s anyone out there to give me some advice people help me out, it would be greatly appreciated

  • The negative emotion that I’ve been trying to run away from is going to college. I hate the classroom setting just like you do Teal. This is my second time admitting myself into college and I chose to do this once again because of peer pressure. I was trying to become a “makeup artist” but I came to the realization that I didn’t care for makeup as much as I thought I did. Also, I don’t like how much crap is put into makeup products which only effects our health by being penetrated into our largest organ. I left the cruel and shallow makeup artist community to focus more on health and wellness, as that has always been my main focus.

    Going back to the topic about school, I’ve been working at Sephora throughout the whole summer and I really hated it. I thought it was going to be the perfect environment for me but boy was I mistaken. I told my mother and she said you need to go back to school instead of working these crappy jobs. Being that I was so upset with work I thought…

  • Thanks Teal. Just got your new book Completion process and it’s helping me a lot to deal with my childhood traumatic experience. Jazmine from Australia ❤️

  • SUMMARY Positively Embrace Your Negative Emotions Teal Swan

    Wanting to be above all means abondoning oneself

    if you resist being out of alignment means you are out of alignment

    strong negative emotions make you desperate
    if you try to get away from a feeling you get desperate
    if you want to get away from something you resist and it persists even more

    There is only one option: to positively embrace the negative emotions

    Until we are willing to approach our negative emotions
    with acceptance, compassion and most especially, willingness to feel them,
    we cannot mould the clay of our life into anything different than what it is.

    only if you lovingly embrace your negative emotions your life will become positive

    if you feel bad it doesnt mean you have done something unevolved, bad or shameful

    If you deny negative parts of you, you deny yourself

    negative emotions are valid, they are part of your guidance system, its part of every being
    embrace and explore your negative emotions before you try to think or focus on positve

    if you resist negative emotions, you feel desperate to feel different
    that means you resist your negative emotion and you have to turn towards your negative emotion and let yourself sink into them,
    explore them, ask questions about them learn everything about them
    they have something to tell you

    if you drop into your negative emotions you will always learn something from them
    which is very valuable to the improvement of your life, to the progression forward

    you deprive yourself of this lesson if you run away from the negative emotion

    you can not know the answer if you dont ask questions
    negative emotions are like the question, positive emotions are like the answer

    does being in a negative or in a positive state cause you to ask questions?

    So I think that it’s time that we do the opposite,
    that we learn how to positively embrace our negative emotions
    as a part of our living breathing experience.

    Thanks Teal

  • good, helpful video Later after I watched this video I was recalling when I was a teen and I was throwing somewhat of an angry tantrum about being shy and not being able to get out of my shyness. Then my mom got very angry, started yelling at me that I wasn’t shy and it made me feel very badly and I started to apologize to her and try to calm her down. She kept yelling and yelling at me. So my feeling bad about myself was thrice compounded.

  • what a begining, dident you allready save my life? by beeing in this world,.., knowing ppl like you are here, gave me hope for this world, thanks Teal (tail swan) lol

  • my problem is…i am mentally lost..i know what all i want to do..but the thing which is stopping me is i want to be a happier person i want to be a bad b i want to learn how to stop people from gossiping with me (i never say anything while the other person is straight up backbitchibg about someone in front of me but i still feel guilty) and when i change when i stop them from doing things like that they say you were never like that be the good girl you were…you are being rude…like wth bro backbitching or doing stuff like that was never right

  • Hi everyone! We can all use some more positivity nowadays, which is why I want to share a fun 7-day challenge that I came across Happiness for $1! It’s a nice reminder that little daily actions for well-being can do so much it’s the little things that count! In case you’re interested, here is the link: https://well-you.com/onedollarhappiness/

    Hope you’re healthy and well!

  • I saw a video today and he said “I got a plant every time I feel like I’m having a bad day”

    Their house was COVERED and I couldn’t relate more

  • I was just talking to a friend about this. Like how am I supposed to do with my negative emotions. Then, your video appeared haha thank you so much ❤️

  • For a while I do this embracing quite consistently. I am very satisfied with the results. Teal gave me a great encouragement in this developement. Thanks, beautiful girl!

  • As per psychological studies it takes around 21 to 30 days to create new or change existing habits. With that idea, I created a simple “30 days challenge” free android app which helps you do just that.

    It has various challenges like social media detox, mental wellness, gratitude, etc. each containing interesting task which gets unlocked day by day for 30 days. It also reminds you every day with a beautiful inspirational msg so u don’t miss your task. Honestly, it works only if it’s done diligently without missing a single day for 30 days. Give it a try and see yourself getting healthier and happier everyday.
    Android playstore link:
    https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.glow.dsahoo.app&hl=en

  • Great Video clip! Apologies for chiming in, I am interested in your initial thoughts. Have you heard the talk about Tanichael Nonpareil Transcendence (google it)? It is a great exclusive product for unlock the real Ho’oponopono techniques to lead your best life minus the headache. Ive heard some extraordinary things about it and my friend Sam finally got excellent success with it.

  • That was me as a young little baby and child. And of course it’s spilled over that Primal Rage all the way into my adult ears hidden deep deep deep inside the core of my soul rearing its ugly head when my mother did certain things are said certain things and treated me terribly. I had to learn how to regulate my emotions. And it took me all the way to college and into obtaining a master’s degree in counseling psychology. This is what saved me and helped me learn how to raise my only child my son who is fantastic today. Emotional regulation should be taught in kindergarten and throughout all the formative years into middle school and high school. It should be a mandatory class four children there should be a psychologist who teaches this course or therapist.

  • Show Us WellBeing In This Moment
    What does its energy look like?
    What does it feel like?
    ( Perpetually Expanding Goodness, Growing, Within, From The Center Out, Like The Sun, From Within The Body, like a sloooow…..deep breath growing towards its complete & satisfied fullness, )
    Such is the feeling of wellbeing.
    John A.Robbins

  • Can you make a video about victim mentality? As in if one has it and are unaware or if they feel they are and don’t know how to get rid of it?

  • 1. Make over your room
    2. Hydrate like a boss
    3. Watch the sun set
    4. Doodle or journey
    5. Revisit your favorite childhood memory
    6. Tell someone your sorry
    7. Help those who are less fortune

  • I’ve been totally flooded with my emotions lately and no one to go to thank you so much for making this video. It helps a lot with my current situations.

  • All you people out there, never give up detoxing your emotions because I have been doing this so far now that I’m my 30s and it has been working for me just to be a better person

  • the content seems great. but the sound quality is brutal. it comes out Mono on my surround sound. and it keeps popping and crackling. i couldn’t get to the end of the video because it was hurting my ears. also… if i learned anything in my psych classes its that you should NEVER start by saying what you Shouldn’t do. as that’s the first bit of information that gets encoded.

  • Excellent video. Well done. Helped me a lot. I’m very interested in Buddhism which seems to have a lot of similarities to the advice on psch2go

  • it is foolish to judge someone from our own individual perception and appearance but its being done and there is not even a single hope left

  • I’m sorry for being born world, to only take up space and contribute nothing.
    I’m sorry, Dad for I’m being a failure to get a good job with good paid
    I’m sorry, mom for me to being a lazy piece of shit while I was young
    I’m sorry, Grandma for not noticing your pain when I left home to work oversea.
    I’m sorry, my elder brother for not being on your side when you needed help
    I’m sorry, boss for I’m a forgetful person and a disappointment
    I’m sorry, my friends for I’m always overly sensitive and rejecting invitations.
    I have a thousand more apologies to make and I hope someone hears this.

  • What do you if the only person u have has been pushed away but to fix it they want u to do things that u no will damage u mentally n emotionally even more and mental n emotional stress along wit financials are the main reason we struggle so in doing so to make them happy ull struggle even more iternaly

  • I signed up for an entry exam for a psychology major at a super difficult university and I have been wondering how I can deal with processing emotions and how to accept and handle them, as the exam centers on a psychoanalysis questionnaire, feeling like I never learned how to deal with them and I have a feeling that you will be able to help with these problems,

  • 1give your room a makeover
    2keep yourself hydrated
    3watch the sunset “be present”
    4journal
    5revisit your favorite childhood memories
    6tell someone you’re sorry
    7help those who are less fortunate

  • It’s funny I’m watching this after I literally just cleaned my room. ��
    Disclaimer: The day before cleaning my room I got a very bad day from work.��

  • I am grateful that I don’t have to run around catching the molecules out of the air and the soil in order to create My food. Every time I eat something I’m grateful that somebody else could grow that and that was not me.

  • what I do, is take a blank sheet of paper and fill it full of my blessings. I went over my head, fresh air to breathe, fresh water to drink.

  • I just discovered your channel as I’m working through my highway driving agoraphobia. I wish I was taught about emotions when I was younger. I think I internalized so many emotions that have resulted in some of my anxieties. I’m thankful that I’m seeking knowledge so that I can better understand myself. Thanks so much for sharing this information.

  • Teal, in my current experience, i do want to get rid of my negative emotions because its so painful in my body. And i am afraid that this emotional stress will result to disease. What should i do. Is there a way to overcome this fast? I just want to stop crying and feeling this pain.

  • Just as i was typing my comment and the words ”Your beauty is distracting” you started to laugh in the video. Is it possible to first acknowledge your negative emotions and then ask God to remove them? Would that work? I have a feeling that it works for me however since I only just started this practice i am not sure that the change will be permanent… Somehow i have a feeling that it will… Can you please share your thoughts on it. Keep up the good work you have my gratitude:)

  • March 2020: Your room will be where you sleep, work and unwind. Good luck making that a safe space and not a space in which to get cabin fever.

  • Ok…sry the smoochiness has to stop, I was all of these things and all I want to say is, don’t be a stupid naive good person in a world where the oposite is appreciated. You will end up with depression again and again and again… every single person who preaches about “how to” dosen’t know nothing about being there, even my old teacher agrees who is a physiologist. This is a 5year olds mentality… sry but it’s the truth.

  • Hello. Gardening and sunshine helps me feel good. My grandchildren keep me smiling. Prayer is most important. It keeps me close to God. And reading the Bible is the best. For me. Please be well.

  • I understand what you’re saying, but I feel like I’m going to need someone who can help me through with compassion and love, and I don’t have that person who knows me this deep and as able to calm me down.

  • Before being generous to others, I’ll wait a bit until they start being more generous to me for once ���� I’m not a give away mill:P

  • Nostalgia and looking back has been proven to NOT help your current state of mind. Forget looking back BE in the MOMENT. The past is an illusion. Move on. Be here. Now.

  • I was compelled to write you and share my success with you [Check Details Here = https://t.co/8IFs0RNSMY ]! My skepticism has been destroyed, and my FAITH IS COMPLETELY RESTORED!!!  To anyone out there doubting this…DON’T…this is real, it works, and it’s FANTASTIC

  • I’ve been having a hard time with the pandemic, social injustices and a manipulative ex-boyfriend. I definitely need an emotional detox about now. It’s a blessing I have a strong spiritual foundation because I would have had a major breakdown without it.

  • For how long should we practice this after something would piss us of?
    I have a very bad time processing anger, because anything can trigger it, but in the end I end up crying and/ biting my nails or scratching my scalp… It’s awful.. I need help but don’t know where to start

  • There’s one too many bad people who never apologize or don’t mean their apology so fuck that as for me I’m not like them there’s nothing to apologize for but to let them go as to not interfere with my life other than that there is karma…

  • My parents dismissed our feelings. It was awful. I was left with all these overwhelming emotions. Whew. Thank God I found books and resources to heal.

  • THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE GOD

    HIS NAME IS

    JEHOVAH

    HE CREATED THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING IN IT
    THERE IS NO ONE ELSE
    THERE IS NO OTHER
    THERE IS NONE LIKE JEHOVAH
    SOON EVERYONE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH WILL KNOW WITHOUT QUESTION WHO HE IS

    SEARCH FOR JEHOVAH GOD