Great ways to Handle Defiant Children

 

How to Handle a Defiant Child Stop Back Talk

Video taken from the channel: Kids In The House


 

How To Deal With A Stubborn Defiant Child

Video taken from the channel: Live On Purpose TV


 

Here’s the Perfect Strategy for The Child Who Has Oppositional Defiant Disorder!

Video taken from the channel: Carla Butorac


 

How To Deal With Child With ODD

Video taken from the channel: Switch TV


 

Disruptive Behaviors in Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Video taken from the channel: The Mental Breakdown


 

8 Discipline Rules for Parents of Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Video taken from the channel: ADDitude Magazine


 

The Defiant Child Akron Children’s Hospital video

Video taken from the channel: AkronChildrens


How to Manage Defiance in Children Set Expectations. Make sure that you’ve been clear enough about the rules and chores of the house, and that they are Get to the Root of the Behavior. Look for causes and triggers and try to keep track of your child’s defiance. Is there a Set your Child Up for. 5 Positive strategies to handle a defiant child 1. Speak in a level tone.

The impulse to match a yell for a yell is very strong when it comes to kids vs parents. 2. Keep instructions short. An angry child is a child who cannot follow reason.

Lecturing them at this point of time is 3. Lay down. Hold your child accountable Choose your battles Act, don’t react Enforce age-appropriate consequences Keep your power No second chances or bargaining Always build on the positive Set regular times to talk to your child. Whether you have a defiant toddler or even a young kid, there are a few ways you can opt to discipline him well and understand the reasons behind his behaviour.

1. How to Manage Defiance in Children Here are practical tips to help you manage defiance in children. Get to the root of the behavior. Look for causes and triggers and try to keep track of your child’s defiance. How to Deal with a Defiant Child(And Reduce Future Defiance!) #1 Understand What’s Really Going On.

Imagine someone has control of you and your life. You have no control over your #2 Give Back Some Control. A simple way to give your kids. 5 Positive Ways to React When Your Child is Defiant Calm yourself when your child does the opposite of what you say.

Your child’s defiance isn’t about you at all. Welcome Try to empathize with a defiant child. As a classroom teacher, I had quite a few students who acted outright defiant. Look for. How to Manage Defiant Behavior Overview.

When children test limits or assert themselves, they are trying to be more independent. Whether your Give Positive Attention. Non-compliance can be a great way for kids to get lots of attention. Even though it is negative Praise Compliant Behavior.

FYI: These tips are effective for all kids, not just those diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder. 1. Set up expectations ahead of time and allow your child to earn privileges for following those expectations. Studies show that timeouts are the most effective form of negative reinforcement and can serve as an effective deterrent for intentional defiance when administered properly. Give your child a warning first and then a timeout if the bad behavior persists.

Send your child to a room with no television, games or internet.

List of related literature:

When they need to enter a new setting, change their schedule, finish an assignment, listen to the teacher, put up with a change in weather, wear the clothes that happen to be clean, or eat the snack served by a friend’s mother, they may be inclined to react in one way: with resistance.

“Your Defiant Teen, First Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship” by Russell A. Barkley, Arthur L. Robin, Christine M. Benton
from Your Defiant Teen, First Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship
by Russell A. Barkley, Arthur L. Robin, Christine M. Benton
Guilford Publications, 2008

have about their children’s behavior and their ability to set effective limits and exercise appropriate discipline.

“Oncology of Infancy and Childhood E-Book” by Stuart H. Orkin, David E. Fisher, A. Thomas Look, Samuel Lux, David Ginsburg, David G. Nathan
from Oncology of Infancy and Childhood E-Book
by Stuart H. Orkin, David E. Fisher, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2009

Develop specific positive reinforcements that parents can give for cooperative behavior or negative consequences they can give for oppositional defiant behaviors.

“Adolescent Psychotherapy Homework Planner” by Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr., L. Mark Peterson, William P. McInnis
from Adolescent Psychotherapy Homework Planner
by Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr., L. Mark Peterson, William P. McInnis
Wiley, 2011

Further, parents should be provided with training in behavioral management of interfering behaviors such as noncompliance, disruptive behaviors, or aggression as these factors often warrant intervention prior to the implementation of toileting recommendations.

“Handbook of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Pediatric Medical Conditions” by Robert D. Friedberg, Jennifer K. Paternostro
from Handbook of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Pediatric Medical Conditions
by Robert D. Friedberg, Jennifer K. Paternostro
Springer International Publishing, 2019

• Provide education to at-risk parents on behavioral management techniques such as looking ahead, giving good instructions, providing positive reinforcement, redirecting, planned ignoring, and instituting time-outs.

“Mosby's Guide to Nursing Diagnosis E-Book” by Gail B. Ladwig, Betty J. Ackley
from Mosby’s Guide to Nursing Diagnosis E-Book
by Gail B. Ladwig, Betty J. Ackley
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2013

Supervise playdates closely and stop aggressive behavior the moment it starts by removing the offender from the victim and quickly distracting both with a new activity.

“What to Expect: The Second Year” by Heidi Murkoff
from What to Expect: The Second Year
by Heidi Murkoff
Simon & Schuster UK, 2012

Develop specific positive reinforcements that parents can give for cooperative behaviors or negative consequences they can give for oppositional defiant behaviors.

“Adult Psychotherapy Homework Planner” by Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr.
from Adult Psychotherapy Homework Planner
by Arthur E. Jongsma, Jr.
Wiley, 2011

Teach them to be consistent in their use of discipline and to provide alternative ways for the child to gain attention or to relieve stress.

“Lippincott Manual of Nursing Practice” by Sandra M. Nettina
from Lippincott Manual of Nursing Practice
by Sandra M. Nettina
Wolters Kluwer Health, 2013

After five or six minutes stop them all, sit them down, calm them, talk (maybe about teaching points), then set the children away again.

“A Guide to Teaching Practice” by Louis Cohen, Lawrence Manion, Keith Morrison
from A Guide to Teaching Practice
by Louis Cohen, Lawrence Manion, Keith Morrison
RoutledgeFalmer, 2004

Toys to avoid include those that have set rules (e.g., board games), encourage aggressive play (e.g., superhero figures, punching bags), require limit setting (e.g., scissors) or discourage real conversations (e.g., audiotapes, books, puppets).

“Short-Term Play Therapy for Children, Second Edition” by Heidi Gerard Kaduson, Charles E. Schaefer
from Short-Term Play Therapy for Children, Second Edition
by Heidi Gerard Kaduson, Charles E. Schaefer
Guilford Publications, 2006

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

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55 comments

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  • Odd kids are argumentative,defiant,outbursts,
    vindictive,,,,destructive
    Love to annoy and torment
    And constantly interrupting
    They truly ruin a family
    NO. B.S.

  • My son knows the psychological games adults play unless it is coming from a totally authentic place i,e, honey, can you help your mom with putting away MY dishes? Or can you help your mom bring in MY bags from the car?? Anything I ask him to do for ME he will gladly oblige. But if I ask him to do something that is technically HIS responsibility he will procrastinate, dilly dally and even outrightly say I’ll do it later. When I say you can either do it or not it he will gladly not do it! If I take away privileges he doesn’t comply because he knows it’s power and he would rather go without than be manipulated. I’m at a loss!!

  • I have my doubts about that bc my 7 yr old, when i tell him he wont get a sticker if he doesnt follow directions, he replies he doesn’t want a sticker. Or if you dont have enough sticker as rewards you wont get to play outside. He acts like he dont care

  • I can appreciate this video however my parents were born in the early 1900’s and chalked the behavior of my siblings and I as being disobedient or hard-headed, both were disciplinarians to the extreme and involved with their religion, they beat our backs, face and butts off when we didn’t follow their rules. I fortunately broke the cycle of their abuse with our children my husband and I would put them on punishment and as a last resort utilize corporal punishment if it was warranted. In my opinion that’s why the majority of children nowadays are completely out of control due to the lack of structure, stability, and consequences for their bad behavior. Parents reward for bad behavior and scrutinize good behavior the whole world is out of sync.

  • If I ever have a child and they misbehave off comes the belt ���� or the playstation gets broke they get to choose lol (I am joking)

  • My 4 year old son hits me and thinks i’m under his control it’s emberrasing because I love him but Nothing is impossible with god ����

  • Give the child praise and positive reinforcement when he shows flexibility or cooperation..Learn more from  https://www.pediatriconcall.com/articles/developmental-pediatrics/oppositional-defiant-disorder/oppositional-defiant-disorder-patient-education#116

  • Sounds like child jusr testing some boundariesmy miss 9 will just keep doing as she pleasesno care for reward or consequence..

  • I’ve done this and doesn’t work. They start to tear things up. I teach with three children like these. And I’ve done every strategy I can find. Nothing works. I wish I could find help.

  • My child is 4 and refuses to lession and dose what he wants and not what hes told and im on my wits to the point ive broke down in tears bc of it

  • One kid? Are you kidding me? I will try it, but I don’t see how this would work on my students or my son? If I gave him a choice he wouldn’t do it. He could care less about incentives.

  • Thank you for your advice for kids with ODD, I hope you continue making videos on this topic, 1 Do teachers on a regular public School. which my son is in Public school and receives (iep) exceptional student education in his class in Miami Florida, are teacher supposed to cooperate Knowing the child has 504 plan and is Health Impaired with ADDHD / ODD. His teacher screams at him and I had told her several times some kids in the class like to play the Buly and my son does not want to go to School and says he hates school. Please advise.

  • As a mother of a rather strong-willed 16-month-old, I find it particularly difficult when neither of the choices I give her are acceptable in her eyes. For example, If I offer two different shoe options, she might swing her arms and say, “Noooo!”. At that point, do I make the choice for her or let her get in the car without shoes and just put shoes on her when we get where we’re going?

  • What a great alternative! Thank you, you are really working with their brains with your option! I felt so discouraged until I found parents saying pragmatic alternative solutions like yours. Now, I feel hope! There’s one couple succeeding with sharing parenting right! They do a lot of YouTube videos. Maybe there’s benefit in you working together? Their free 7 day Parenting Challenge is at: https://bit.ly/2HpQ1xO

  • What great tips. The second one to praise the defiant girl is a great ways to turn her defiance around. Loved the “Do it or Don’t Do It.”

  • The underlying assumption is that the reward will reinforce the positive outcomes, however for some children or are oppositionalthe reward isn’t as important to them as being oppositional

  • Children with ODD mostly feel like they have no control and therefore lash out. Also, routine and structure is something that should be provided to every child esperanza with odd. Give them chores they like, or a choice of things for example instead of saying we’re having pasta for lunch, you give them the option, pasta or pb sandwiches? Green socks or red socks? Look up the Montessori way of raising children. Now I understand not everything can be applied to a child with ODD, all children are different, but it might help you get a sense of the mind of a baby/toddler. Announce to them when things are going to chance so they can adapt. Instead of telling them you’re heading out to run errands or you’re leaving the playground to go home, you give them 5 minutes heads up. Tell them “hey we’re leaving in 5 minutes, let’s slide one or two more times before we have to go.” My child has ODD. It has improved so much. Especially the structure and routine. He is much happier too. Think about how you would feel if you are little and have no idea, no say, no proper vocabulary to express yourself and do the things you think might help improve those negative feelings. A big thing is also restricting screen time. Most tv shows for kids are hella whack. Their heads don’t need to be filled with that stuff. Remember we are raising an entire next generation. Let’s make it a good one

  • ADHD is lack of executive functioning. Lack of self regulation. Russell Barkley is connecting ODD to this Las of executive functioning.

  • There is no perfect strategy. This would not work on a regular basis. Clear consequences and consistency are key. There are some kids who do not change from day 1 to last day of school. All you can do is keep trying. (Aide in middle school special education)

  • That’s very worrying. Because they seem to be with out natural empathy and social responsibility.
    There is a women on talking on you tube about getting help for that from a native American shaman. I’m not recommending it.
    She was also saying that the thoughts Christian players(exorcism) was not helpful it made things worse.
    I wonder if systemics or projection have a part to play.
    The whole family is so Lilly white and well adjusted family members that they need a place to put their dark deviant maladjusted side.
    I know it’s a bit black and white
    But it’s a theory.

  • I do this with my sometimes opposition defiant stubborn 3 yr old daughter & it does work. Its made a huge difference & she is much happier. She is learning fast, how to make her own independent positive beneficial choices & is becoming much less stubborn. More than 70% of the time, l reward her with a hug & really praise her for making such a great choice, which boosts her confidence in choice making. It does not have to be a material reward. We are both much happier, now that she gets to make some independent choices herself. Much better than me ordering her around all the time as she is growing up & much better than her rebelling from wanting a little independence. She realises that Mummy has to make some choices for her, to keep her happy & safe, we have talked about that, & often she looks for reassurance from me in her own made choices anyway. The rebellious part of her has almost disappeared thanks to this method! ��

  • The 2 choice option helps a TON!!! Love that! Thank you for amazing advice! I noticed my kids calm down as soon as I give them a choice

  • Appreciate Video clip! Forgive me for chiming in, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you thought about Trentvorty Kids Science Theorem (Sure I saw it on Google)? It is a great exclusive product for becoming an excellent parent minus the headache. Ive heard some incredible things about it and my buddy after a lifetime of fighting got great results with it.

  • What happens when you have set clear boundaries and the child knows the consequences but just simply doesn’t care weather they are punished?? Corner, spanking, sent to room, toys taken etc. and they continue their complete disobedience back to back to back every 3 minuets it’s something else. Hitting, spitting, throwing toys, yelling, destroying things etc. HELP!!! ��

  • I have a friend who along with her husband is an amazing parenting team. All of their children are happy and well-adjusted, except for the one boy who is always causing trouble. They told me he was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I spend much time with this family and also watch the kids. While i think they have great parenting skills i am seeing them do all the right things and the boy just doesn’t respond.

    I have never heard them make demands or say “do this now” or “because i told you no” i try to deal with the kids the same way they do, as to stay consistent. much like the advice in this video, they and i always leave the choice to the boy.

    They say it’s all up to you, it’s your decision…would you like to have a good day and play at the park, and watch a movie, and have treats? or would you like to have some quiet time by yourself, or do you have another suggestion? The boy will just throw a tantrum smash things scream and hurt people. Even when we give him the choice he always chooses the one that only serves to hurt himself. I tried talking with him calmly and asking what would make him happy, what he would like to do that day, and he seems to have no preference. I tried explaining “hey i don’t care if you want ice-cream or not, i just want you to have the choice and do whatever decision you feel good about” he will just glare at everyone and lash out.

    There in no consequence that bothers him and no reward he strives for. on halloween he hurt a baby and was told he had the choice between not hitting people and keeping his candy, or misbehaving and losing his candy…he just went and dumped his whole bag of candy in the toilet. It did not even phase him to lose a whole bag of candy he didn’t want a single treat. If you ask him if he wants to have a birthday party or friends he says no. he doesn’t care what reward he could have, or what he loses….what do you do with a kid, who seems to have no reward system or pleasure centre in the brain? He does not respond to rewards or fun things at all. If you give him the choice to have anything he wants in the world he will go sit in the timeout chair and refuse to eat. It concerns me that there is nothing he wants or strives for. he doesn’t care about toys or fun activities or deserts. We always leave the choice to him and he always seems to choose the self-defeating ones.

    Sorry i know this message is long, i’m just trying to describe the situation the best i can….anyone know what to do with children who act this way? all the other kids are happy and polite and use their words, and the one boy is just dangerous to them it seems.

  • i started doing this this morning….before i saw this video…and only because i was so overwhelmed by trying to make my kid into a productive kid…i finally just said…listen, you are going to make these choices….and i said do it or dont it…i honest don’t care…..i probably shouldn’t said i don’t care….but whatever i won’t do it again…and she did it…..which totally took the pressure off me….if i didn’t start to distant myself from the chaos and fighting and pain this was bringing me and my child…i was going to lose my bloody mind…if i haven’t already….i’m glad this techinique works so good….now i just need to refuel myself…arguing with your kid, convincing the school it’s not my parenting making my kid act like the devil is in her, dealing with drs, social workers and god knows all the times i couldn’t take my kid out….right now she has a giant hole in her school because I CAN NOT take her to the store….i live my life like i’m in a cage….i don’t want my life as her mother to suck! i want to enjoy her childhood and give her happy memories, not crappy memories where she remembers me always angry or frowning…..i started crying the other day…and i felt big alarms were going off…..how am i going to live like this….not only was i in a living hell, but i was getting like no support from anyone….and if i did get any help it was from people looking at me with PITY or something…..not understanding…which is bullshit too. but whatever…..i can’t have people over, i can’t do anything…..it’s been like so bloody awful……i have a 6 month baby and he is like a dream…..i feel bad i can honesty smile at him him and i can’t do anything but fake a smile around my kid……so now i have this technique….do i have to do this shit for the rest of her life? do it or don’t do it?

    Do I have to do this technique forever? I can share it with the school but they act like they know everything. I hate them.

  • Marcella, as with any strategy, not everything works every time with every child.  I’d like to recommend that you read Lost at School by Dr.Ross Greene.  It’s an amazing book with fresh insights to behaviors.  I hope this helps!

  • For every family that goes through these struggles, you are not alone. I am not an expert at all, but have friends that are. My 6 yr olds behaviour can escalate in a blink of an eye and it can be crushing to the soul, especially when you have spent their lives trying to find a solution. All I can say is the gut has alot to do with emotions and behaviours and if you can try, thats a start… Its not for everyone and I know food also can be expensive… Just putting it out their. My firend has an autistic son who would have severe meltdowns everyday. Her friend in Australia recommended the GAPS book which is eliminating dairy/gluten. She was at the end of the line and tried. Its been 6 months and not one meltdown… I am going to do this for pur whole family. We are huge gluten/dairy eaters and it will be hard, but if we can limit the meltdowns and have a healthier family… Im willing to try anything.

  • This relies on rewards to motivate. But they know what you want them to do so they will chose that. Plus, if you do use this, you have to be ok with them not doing the task.

  • What the hell is wrong with you there just going to get more pissed when you start doing stuff you just listed why don’t you put yourself in their shoes and think about why there acting that way obviously something is wrong if they are acting like this’s ask what’s wrong and spend time with them because when they are mad punishing them is just making it worse and they will not want to be with you.

  • My youngest was apparently a child of ODD and undiagnosed. I took her to the doctor and to counslors and tried to get help until I got tired of being told that she was spoiled…but now that she is 30, I have discovered that she has ODD and was born that way. She blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life and she is married and a mother and I never see or talk to her. I have had to let her go and I hate it.

  • Excellent!!!!!  I love this Idea. I’m even going to write “Do It or Don’t Do It!” on my board for all the staff to remember.  I would also be interested in a strategy for if they choose NOT to do what is asked.  Go back to the rewards or no reward?? If you do it, get reward…if not no reward?

  • So glad im not alone my 7 year old is a mess. I try so hard but w.e she does the younger 2 copy n it makes my home a shipwreck. She tortures her older brother n lil siblings. Dr said she has ADHD but i believe she has this too. At a point of time she was so sweet den she started having seizures at a young age n it fell apart. She makes me regret alot of this i dne ive said stuff i regret to her. I give her everything i never have. I love her dearly but jus cant deal with her. I find myself overwhelmed n cryn when she goes to sleep. Shed look at me wit demon eyes n jus keep goin..im lost too

  • My son has O.D.D. but so far, he’s had great behavior at school (Kindergarten). He has some learning disabilities which we are navigating through right now, but no behavior issues at school. His behavior at home is horrible. He is argumentative with his siblings and my husband and I. Anytime he’s told “No” he goes into a total meltdown. Why is his bad behavior seemingly reserved for home?

  • What you don’t control is the kid’s likes and dislikes. No one controlled yours, however, your parents sometimes made the choices for you. Yeah and keep those consequences going. My take.

  • consequences are bad, it will cause a rebellion like the hunger games had in the end, talk to your kids in a way at there level and offer rewards and be there friend, being a dictatorship is bad and dumb, be the friend

  • Here is a simple rule I have always followed Dont tell your kids what they can and can not do if you your self are not willing to do the same it is as simple as that…

  • I’m at my wits end with my 6 year old he constantly in time out. Never stops climbing, shouting, won’t do his homework, he only listens to his dad and not me has anyone tried this method and if so has it worked?

  • Ok but what happens when they DONT do it….. I’ve done this. My child doesn’t care and will always make the bad choice…. so please…. tell me…. what do I do when he chooses the “don’t do it”
    Option.

  • I have ocd and odd and its a really bad combo let me tell you that much. One time when I was around 10 I wanted to tell my parents to wake up and my sister just knocked on the door instead of letting me tell my parents to wake up and when she went to get changed after (i didn’t know she was getting changed) I was so angry at what she did that I pulled on the door handle to her room so hard the door unlocked from being locked and my sister was half-naked (I looked away as soon as I realized and don’t remember seeing her thankfully) I felt so bad afterwards and all the anger when I look back turns into shame and embarrassment. ODD is the worst because you just annoy everyone around you all the time and no one enjoys being around you or wants to be your friend. At least people with most other disorders get a chance at not being hated by everyone in their whole grade or even their whole school and have a chance at making decent friends that don’t get them in trouble like mine did and then eventually find you annoying as they get older. And then to think this is all your fault and the people you met aren’t mean or anything like that, it’s all you that’s been the problem, its all too much to handle sometimes which is probably why people with ODD are at high risk for developing depression and anxiety, the worst disorder ever.

  • Most of the time, children with behavioural problems have parents who have the same problems. Tacking parents may be more effective than tacking children. Mind you the adults are more difficult and troublesome. Instructors need lots of patience and also courage to ignore their stubborn and controlling nature. The best solution is dampen them in the jungle, and let them make their way back to civilization. Don’t spoil them, or treat them with special care. Guide them as if there was nothing special or defective about them.

  • My son has both adhd and odd we use daily routine but its a struggle at times with hime and as well with school. What you said today on video i watched it was great infromation

  • i have a 2 year old who acts like all the comments i have read below. i’m so worried because her behavior continues to worsen. It went from tantrums to acting very aggressive and controlling. I have tried everything routine, baths before bed, music.. Her environment is very calm but she cries every single night when she has to go to bed she cries every single day about not getting her way she throws her self every where when she doesn’t get her way she just shuts down. I’m at my breaking point �� She is starting to act just like her dad he was very abusive and i think he has intermittent explosive disorder. how do i appropriately handle a two year old who is completely out of control. Spanking and time out has done nothing positive discipline also hasn’t worked �� I always thought distracting and redirecting behavior is a great way to avoid prolonged shit fits but not my daughter.

  • One teenager and one preteen. It is all day every day. Stressing myself every day just trying to get them to stay on track: keeping their rooms clean, doing homework….It is so frustrating. Stubborn isn’t even the word. They think they should do whatever they want and not the things they should be. Thank God I found you.

  • I have this kind of kid in my class, i think lack of attention from his parents is what adds much to his problems. He talks back to me, sais im bad teacher and stuff like that but in other moment he is always next to me, trying to get my attention by saying things inrelated to class, like stories what hapned to him and such. He is too extreme in showing his emotions like if he gets good grade he will throw himself on the ground and yell as he won world cup, and as soon a tiny thing is not his way he will get agressive and talk back.

  • ODD best describes my grandson who I basically have custody of. He feels like his mom cares more about her boyfriend than him. He goes to a child psychologist once a week. It doesn’t seem to be working. This is absolutely breaking my heart. He is disruptive in class. 1st grade. Won’t finish his school work. Won’t do the work in the classroom. Somebody give me some advice on how to deal with him. Please. If I don’t keep him he will go into Foster Care. Help me please

  • I’d love a video about younger kids (preschool age, for example) who have difficulty with transitions. I have 4.5 year old twins, and one generally handles transitions well while the other is so focused on whatever thing he is doing at that exact moment that he fights almost every transition, from putting on shoes, to sitting to eat a meal, to going to school, to getting in the car, to doing an activity he requested like going to the playground. It’s exhausting, because something as simple as walking out the door and getting into the car requires typically 5 stages of transition (put shoes on, put coat on, go out door, go down stairs, get into car), and he fights every single step because he picks up something to do between every single one (ex he will run circles around the car and look at the leaves in the driveway instead of getting into the car). It’s exhausting, and extra hard when I have two kiddos to motivate yet one takes 100% of my attention.

  • ODD….. I rather call it, not quite got the emotional handling skills. They just need loads of love patience and hugs. Picture cards are brilliant at reducing the ODD outbursts. The more peace and quiet they have the more time they have for working things out. Not everyone can handle the speed of life. A good walk in the woods can help ease things for them.

  • My 4 yr old can go from loving son to a fricken animal in literally 2 seconds!!!!
    I cannot deal with him anymore and it’s destroying our family life.
    My older children lock themselves in there room,and it’s all but ruined my marriage as mom looks at me like a piece of shit because I cannot deal with him anymore.
    I’m seriously questioning his birth every day of my life!!
    Unless you deal with these kids and this order first hand…PLEASE DONT JUDGE!!!!!

  • These are the children who grow up and make good changes in this world. “Disobedience” that’s BS; people aren’t animals who get a treat for licking boots!!

  • Terry, You’re welcome!!!  We all need a sense of humor in our field!!!  It helps for stress relief and helps us to come back for more the next day!!!  Loved your feedback!

  • Every single morning I have the same issues getting my son to dress himself for school. He doesn’t have the violent outburst with anyone else but me his mom. Others he will be defiant but every time he is told no or stop doing something and focus on what needs to be finished he becomes violent and yelling. throwing things at me or trying to break them. I dont know what to do. this morning he threw my phone at the living room tv and busted it.. Please any suggenstions

  • Hiiiiiiiiiiiii..Remember me? lol
    I’m happy to report that my darling 8.5 year old has come a long way. We have not medicated him I really didn’t want that for him and wanted to try other methods (no needles or pins lol). I’m no expert but I just think that as he matures (yes, he’s ‘muh-churr’) he’s learning to self-regulate. When he has to turn off his electronic device because our time is up, or it’s time for our bedtime routine, there isn’t the whining and pouting and freshness that used to ensue. Now I may hear a quick “aww” but that’s pretty much it. I tell him, I know you’re not happy but we need to (fill in the blank) and we’re good to go. He’s a very smart little boy at times too clever!! lol Thanks Dr. Paul.

  • I have a difficult grandchild that I care for while his mom is at work. Even though I successfully raised 4 children..this one has me stumped
    …and he’s only 2!����

  • In my opinion I repeat in my opinion these kinds of rewarding when a child is doing something good methods are better suited for my dog I refuse to have to reason like that and pull my car over with a disrespectful kid