Discussing Sleep Together With Your Baby



Video taken from the channel: Georgina Kent


Can my baby sleep in my bed with me? -Dr. Paul-

Video taken from the channel: paulthomasmd


Sleep Training Your Baby in a Shared Room

Video taken from the channel: thebabybook


Co-Sleeping With Infants: Science, Public Policy, and Parents Civil Rights, with James McKenna, PhD

Video taken from the channel: PathwaysConnect


How to safely co-sleep with your baby

Video taken from the channel: Today’s Parent



Video taken from the channel: Erika Moulton


Safe Sleep for Your Baby

Video taken from the channel: SeattleChildrens

“Bed sharing” refers to having your baby sleep in bed with you, rather than in a separate space such as a crib. Some people call sharing a bed with your baby “sleep sharing” or “co-sleeping.” However, co-sleeping can also be used as a more general term to refer to your baby sleeping close to you, either in the same bed or nearby, for example. Experts recommend room-sharing without bed-sharing to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related deaths in infants. Bed-sharing — letting your baby sleep in the same bed with you — is one type of co-sleeping, which is when parents sleep near their baby.

Co-sleeping is sleeping in the same vicinity as your infant, or what experts call ‘within sensory range’. This means you can hear, see and (yup) smell baby. Bed sharing is a type of co-sleeping.

Bed sharing means you are sharing the same sleep space, namely a bed, with your baby. This is a small, but significant difference. The waking up that happens with room sharing may be the exact thing that protects the baby. It should be pointed out, too, that infancy doesn’t last forever. As much as it can feel like an eternity of being woken at night, the fact is that over time, most babies learn to sleep through the night and give their parents a break.

So the safestplace for a baby to sleep is in a cot by your bed. However, you can reduce the risk of accidents and, because bed sharing helps with breastfeeding, you may find this leaflet useful. Smoking increases the risk of cot death.

You should make sure that you don’t fall asleep with your baby in your bed if you (or any other person in the. If you do co-sleep with your baby, here are the recommendations for safe sleep: Make sure your baby can’t fall out of bed or become trapped between the mattress and wall. Keep pillows, sheets and blankets away from your baby to avoid them over-heating or covering their face and obstructing their breathing.

If, in spite of the recommendations against it and the dangers, you still choose to sleep in the same bed as your baby, make it as safe as possible: Talk to your pediatrician about your sleeping arrangements. Remove all big blankets from the bed, ensure you have a firm mattress, skip the feather bed. Sharing the bed with your baby multiplies the risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) fivefold, according to a 2013 study. The American Academy of Pediatrics cites the dangers of SIDS and.

Cosleeping refers to the many different ways babies sleep in close emotional and physical contact with their parents, usually within arms reach. Whether it is for protection, warmth, food, or comfort, humans and other mammals routinely sleep side by. Even the researchers behind the bedsharing cautions agree that by about four months bedsharing by any responsible, nonsmoking adult is as safe as having your baby sleep separately in a bassinet or crib. (11) If you and your baby fit the Safe Sleep Seven criteria, your baby’s risk of SIDS is what one sleep researcher calls vanishingly small.

List of related literature:

The AAP has made this recommendation because this arrangement decreases the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is safer than bed sharing or solitary sleeping (infant sleeping in a separate room).

“Burns' Pediatric Primary Care E-Book” by Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks, Nancy Barber Starr, Margaret A. Brady, Nan M. Gaylord, Martha Driessnack, Karen Duderstadt
from Burns’ Pediatric Primary Care E-Book
by Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks, Nancy Barber Starr, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Sharing a sleeping surface increases the risk of SIDS.

“Leifer's Introduction to Maternity & Pediatric Nursing in Canada E-Book” by Gloria Leifer, Lisa Keenan-Lindsay
from Leifer’s Introduction to Maternity & Pediatric Nursing in Canada E-Book
by Gloria Leifer, Lisa Keenan-Lindsay
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Mothers who do not breastfeed but who bed-share with the baby do not appear to automatically assume this protective sleep position, a finding that suggests that, for those not breastfeeding, a safer way to assure sensory proximity is a three-sided samesurface crib attached to the parent’s bed (refer to Figure 6.2).

“Infant and Toddler Development from Conception to Age 3: What Babies Ask of Us” by Mary Jane Maguire-Fong, Marsha Peralta
from Infant and Toddler Development from Conception to Age 3: What Babies Ask of Us
by Mary Jane Maguire-Fong, Marsha Peralta
Teachers College Press, 2018

Infants sleeping prone in a separate room face a 17-fold increase in risk, but this reduces to a three-fold risk if sharing a room with parents.

“Midwifery: Preparation for Practice” by Sally Pairman, Sally K. Tracy, Carol Thorogood, Jan Pincombe
from Midwifery: Preparation for Practice
by Sally Pairman, Sally K. Tracy, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

The risk of infant bed sharing is increased in infants who have no identified place to sleep, have health or care issues, and are breastfed.

“Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care” by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig, Mary Beth Makic, Marina Martinez-Kratz, Melody Zanotti
from Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care
by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

The AAP recommends room-sharing and the use of a bed-side sleeper, without bed-sharing, as a means of promoting breastfeeding while reducing the risk of SIDS.

“Breastfeeding and Human Lactation” by Karen Wambach, Becky Spencer
from Breastfeeding and Human Lactation
by Karen Wambach, Becky Spencer
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2019

Room sharing without bed sharing is associated with lower SIDS rates; the safest place for an infant to sleep may be in his or her own crib in the parents’ room.

“Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics E-Book” by Robert M. Kliegman, Bonita F. Stanton, Joseph St. Geme, Nina F Schor, Richard E. Behrman
from Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics E-Book
by Robert M. Kliegman, Bonita F. Stanton, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

Similarly, a study conducted in Scotland (Tappin, Ecob, & Brooke, 2005) found that the risk of bed sharing was greatest for infants younger than 11 weeks, and this association remained among infants with nonsmoking mothers.

“Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care” by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig
from Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care
by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2010

Room sharing but not bed sharing is recommended during infant sleep; bed sharing can increase the risk of suffocation and falls.

“Maternity and Women's Health Care E-Book” by Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Shannon E. Perry, Mary Catherine Cashion, Kathryn Rhodes Alden
from Maternity and Women’s Health Care E-Book
by Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Shannon E. Perry, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2014

Room sharing without bed sharing is associated with lower SIDS rates, and is therefore recommended.

“Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 2-Volume Set” by Robert M. Kliegman, MD, Bonita F. Stanton, MD, Joseph St. Geme, MD, Nina F Schor, MD, PhD
from Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 2-Volume Set
by Robert M. Kliegman, MD, Bonita F. Stanton, MD, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2015

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  • I breastfed and safely bedshared with all six of my children. It is absolutely correct that parents must do so safely as James McKenna states. All six breastfed until at least two years of age and left our bed when they were ready. I truly believe that bed sharing/co-sleeping had much to do with my many years of successful nursing. This is wonderful information that is offered in this You Tube interview and more parents need this thorough and very beneficial information on co-sleeping.

  • I breastfeed my baby and 2weeks after she was born I decided to cosleep with my baby me and my husband got more sleep she did too �� and as she got older she would just turn around to my breast and we just had this conection when I knew she wanted to feed…..

  • If you put baby in bed don’t swaddle them because they need their arms free to stay move the covers and stay balanced when the mattress shifts

  • We bed share. Don’t drink, smoke, aren’t obese, and are careful about having anything that could cover his face etc. It’s the most natural way and parents breath and heart beat can actually reduce sleep apnea and help baby breathe better. If you are a heavy sleeper and it’s possible you could roll onto a pillow or something without waking up right away, co sleeping is probably not for you. Or maybe you have to sleep on the floor on a blanket and put some sort of wall between you so you can’t roll onto baby. There is more than one way to do things.

  • I have been bedsharing with my little one since she was a month old and she now is four months old I am always worried about sids and hear so many bad things about it but this is what works for us and I love this time with her and the sweet cuddles she likes before she falls asleep

  • My son is almost 5 months and sleep in bed, between my husband and me. I can’t even imagine moving him to his own room at night, I love having him near. I do put him in the nursery for day naps so he’s slowly getting use to spending time in that room.

  • Bedsharing is the norm in whole Asia with No issue. In American culture parenting style is too tough for newborn by putting them in a separate bed and room. It’s cruel child neglect in Asia

  • I love this video. I planned on using a Halo also but my baby hated being away from me. After a month of sleepless nights we decided to bed share.

  • Hospitalbabyboymothermotherbabiesmombadsonfarthersonmymothermichellemothermombadmothermombadwifebabymommothersonmymothersonfarthermothermykidmothermichellemothermombad

  • I bought a $300 bassinet for our room and tons of different types of swaddles. Our first baby had other plans. He love love loves sleeping on us. We did basically constant skin to skin in the hospital. I breastfeed so keeping him in bed is so much easier and the closeness is so calming and allows all of us to sleep better. I’ve honestly just started mothering intuitively and have no fears when it comes to bed sharing in our circumstances. We did take extra precautions to make it safer with reduced pillows/blankets. Breastsleeping/bedsharing feels so natural for us. I wish it was more okay to talk about. I’m hoping he will still eventually transition to co sleeping in our room in his own bed space, he will for naps sometimes but only because he falls asleep on us and we are able to lay him down sometimes without him waking. Thank you for posting this to make others feel less alone!

  • Your journey with your son was the SAME for me and mine in the Hospital!
    He hated the bucket and the nurse tilted it and it still didn’t help.
    They were checking to make sure I wasn’t sleeping with him and so when we got home we tried time after time to get him to sleep in his (brand name is arms reach co-sleeper) bassinet/pac n play.
    No he wasn’t having it, we struggled for a while.
    It might have been first two months, maybe Longer but I don’t know if I wrote down the exact time we just decided to bed share because my husband and I were feeling guilty.
    My doctors/nurses, baby programs we had taken, in laws, our own anxiety about possible hurting or Killing our baby because we were told/taught that if we sleep with him would would kill him! It’s so sad! Well I have always had a wonderful relationship with my daughter and I respect her so much. We can always learn even from our children!
    She is an adult and was planning a child, as I wasn’t being my new husband and I thought it wasn’t in our cards and we were fine!
    (We blame my daughter because she had been wishing for a sibling all her life!!! 18th birthday and WOW SHE GOT HER WISH LOL! I was pregnant!)
    She and her fiancé found out a week after I announced!
    So my son was an uncle at 3 weeks and 1 day old!
    My daughter pretty much Bedshared from the start, I was concerned because I realize as we grow we learn from the past to help protect us in the future!
    I thought we shouldn’t bed sharing but Because I trust my daughter I knew it wasn’t my place to mom shame her for doing what she felt was right, I was far too stressed and worried about shamming myself!
    Well I am disabled and diagnosed with Amnesia so I don’t remember my pregnancy with my daughter or her childhood, I can only remember her at 10years old!)
    This causes me to question everything I do! (Or what I’m told I did in the past)
    Well get this as a single TEEN MOM I was 16 pregnant and 17 when I had her in 2000 (I was 35 pregnant with her brother!!)
    I lived with my granny and she tells me that she would come in and check on us but I was fine, and so was my daughter sleeping right next to me in BED! (I had a bed on the floor and against the wall so my daughter couldn’t fall out) AND I WAS ABLE TO NURSE HER TIL SHE WEANED HERSELF AT 11.5 months old!
    I really feel it’s natural to want to protect our children and have them close to us!
    I understand some people shouldn’t because they will hurt their babies because they could be sound sleepers or move throughout the night, but I should have trusted myself from day one not because of what I don’t remember doing with my daughter. Because I’m like a new mom but my body and mind just really know what to do if I don’t panic!
    I am not on medications and I am not on drugs or alcohol, I don’t smoke (I used to but quit for my son and granddaughter )
    I don’t toss and turn and I trust my son too know he couldn’t roll over for a long time because he was and is a HUGE BABY!!
    He weighed 8lbs 15.4oz 21.5in long are birth
    Today he is 8months old 29lbs 1oz
    29.75 inches long
    Size 7 diapers (his butt crack hangs out of the size 6) takes a 2 to 3 year old dose of medicine when needed (doctors orders )
    Wearing 3T to 4T clothes
    (He can wear some 24 months or 2T depends on the fit but they can be really tight!) he out grew his mamaroo and jumparoo before he was 5 and 6months old! We had to hand an outdoor swing up
    Inside for him!
    He’s got strong legs and can stand but he’s not crawling yet because he’s just so big!
    All I know is that He is a sweet and sensitive baby, even if he bites me while nursing and I slightly say “oh” or “nah nah” he we pucker and cry because it doesn’t matter he doesn’t understand the word no, he can tell I’m hurt or upset!
    My mother-in-law would and does tell me to quit nursing but I won’t!
    I will when it’s right, but I am and over producer and my son is a big eater so right now I want to feed him as long as he wants it, and eventually I will just put my milk in a sippy cup for him!
    Getting up and down every hour on the hour to feed him wouldn’t have been possible for me while I’m disabled and even if I wasn’t he’s so heavy! I was more afraid of dropping him being half asleep!
    So trust yourself and your baby! We have a king size bed, he’s been able to lift his head early and my daughter was 100% right for trusting herself!
    She even taught me what one person commented on here! 3rd world countries bed share and have lower SIDS then the USA
    I don’t know why our numbers are so high but my opinion is, parents are so sleep deprived they do fall asleep and it feels like they did something wrong, or intoxication!?
    (I used to have a disabled puppy that was smaller then a package of crackers at 4 months old that I was rehabilitating he would sleep in my arm at night weighing only 13oz and I never once rolled over on him, or dropped him! This was before my son, so I remember thinking if I could do that and felt like that puppy’s mom maybe I should trust my instincts in the first week we had our son home, but I ended up having panic attacks because The nurses/doctors and hospital had me so scared, there was even an image of a baby sleeping next to a knife in some advertisement I saw about bed sharing!!
    Thanks for sharing this video and your family’s experiences!

  • I cant without a nursing pillow that they are strapped in or something.. I never share a blanket anyways.. I hate sharing my blanet always have. The U.S. don’t like it cause its been issues other places are starting to not be ok wit this also.. Sadly if anything happens in the us god forbid they will lock u up in a heat beat.. My Hubby was working alot did sleep deep I can’t do it even now for me I cant and my youngest is 1and 10 months.. Break it early is my rule.. I get it done asap.. For me I say Parent’s not friend’s.. My kids don’t get there way they do what I want and what I say..I have 9 kids about 2 be 10 I learned fast that giving in u will regeret it in the long run but every1 journey is there own and do what works I guess!!

  • I breast fed all 3 of my daughters and they slept in my bed with me. I come from a HUGE family and bed sharing is the norm. As a child I even slept in my grandparents bed when I went to their houses. I was more surprised to find out some people don’t sleep with their babies in the same bed. My 3rd daughter would hold her breath as a newborn baby and had some slight breathing issues. I couldn’t imagine not being close enough to help my baby if they were having a breathing issue or choking. I know someone who rolled over on her baby and suffocated it but, when they investigated it turned out she and the father had been drinking/drugging heavily that night, smoked cigarettes in the same room and she had the baby wrapped in a heavy blanket, laying between her and her husband. The worst part is she had 2 other children taken away for neglect years earlier �� but I remember it in the news paper in my town and so many people commenting about bed sharing and how it’s dangerous. It was the negligence of the parents that killed the baby. I think the bad cases get sensationalized and it screws it up for everyone else. Babies die in their cribs/bassinets from SIDS too and then the parents question if they had the baby in the bed with them would they have noticed something was wrong. I think people should be more honest. I know family members who have lied to the doctors and say they never sleep with their babies in the bed even though they have. Statistics aren’t always accurate because people lie. There could be way more babies who share a bed with their parents and survive through infancy but, it doesn’t get reported or talked about. Personally I preferred my babies as close to me as possible. They are adults now with their own babies and lives and I still worry about them just as much. I think bed sharing is ok if done safely. Sadly instead of hospitals going over how to safely bed share now a days they just say never let your baby sleep in your bed. Breast feeding is exhausting at times but, it’s the best thing for your baby and from my personal experience bed sharing makes breast feeding easier. I think it’s rare a baby dies from a parent rolling over on them. Usually there’s something to go along with it like drugs or alcohol. That’s just my opinion each to their own.

  • as a south asian….there is no question your take your kids to sleep in your bed…. when you want to trasition start slow by letting them sleep alone once a week,then gradually increase the days.. simple…

  • I’m so glad to have watched this video. I’m a mother of three children and have raised all of them with co-sleeping. My aussie mother-in law has tried hard to scare me off from the co-sleeping by telling me all of tragic stories she had heard or made? like ” someone’s baby died from rolling off from a bed etc” I’m from South Korea and almost every mum in Korea has raised their children with co-sleeping for generations and generations possibly up to a few thousand years and I’ve never heard any babies died from co-sleeping in Korea. I wish my mother-in law watched this video, too.

  • It took me seven weeks to finally give into the bedsharing, and I’m so glad I finally did. Our baby sleeps SO well now and so do we. Also if you sleep with your knees up, it’s physically impossible to roll over onto your baby. I think with all my future kids, I’ll have no qualms with bedsharing. Really wish there was not such a stigma around it

  • I did bedsharing with my one and only and she decided that she wanted her own sleeping space around 4 months of age. I miss it but I truly believe your child will let you know when they’re ready for the next step in any situation. Mine sure does!

  • I held my daughter on my chest as well for 3 months due to her acid relax. We bed share with her and we made her a homemade doc a tot and it worked well for us but now shes 6months and rolls so now we made her area flat. But I understand this completely. I check my daughter multiple times a night and made sure shes breathing. SIDS scare me so much but shes safe and sleeps well and I get my sleep.

  • in our Eastern culture co sleeping is considered good and this is something that 80% people are doing but in my opinion one should make her own choices about what to do or what not.if you are satisfied with bed sharing then go for it and if you think letting your baby sleep in his own room is better for him and for you too then that’s also gud.

  • I have 5 children 9, 6, 4, 3, and almost 8 months. All of them have slept with me from day 1. Only one was bottle fed, but he was still with me every night. I’ve never had an accidents with them falling off bed or rolled over on. I can be half sleep and I still know where my baby is. However they’ve never slept on my chest with me on my back. It’s always them on their back. They would reach out somewhat asleep and turn (trying to find me) so I would feed them and put back on back each time. I just couldn’t imagine my baby in another room and not being able to have my eyes or ears on them

  • It’s so true your baby does decide where they want to sleep. This was my biggest shocker of becoming a mom. My daughter was the same from the very beginning!! I had to sleep sitting up the first week or so until I gave up and bed shared. Wished I would have gave in sooner. I thought I HAD to use the bassinet.. bed sharing saved my life. Thanks for the video.. makes me feel less crazy. It’s nice to know I’m not alone

  • Omg I thought I was the only one who had a baby who couldn’t sleep on his back. He’s two months now and has only slept with me. I tried everything but the second his back touched a surface he’d cry. I though it was only my baby who did that. Im so relieved I’m not alone.

  • I am a mother of 4 i breast feed all my babys and one of my baby pass away while breast feeding and co sleeping i am so hurt i dont no what i did wrong was it the bed was it me was ot the hospital my medcation oxcodone while breast feeding was it my baby had breathing problems but at this point i will tell people not too co sleep becuse i will never have my baby agen ���������� what did i do wrong this time

  • Erika, thank you so much for making this video! Tried sleep training one of my twin daughters multiple times, once at 5 months and at 9 month failed both times. My situation is exactly like yours and I feel SO much better after watching your video! THANK YOU!
    Also, can you please tell me/make a video on how you sleep trained your son at 15 months?

  • Truly, I being Asian I never heard of SID before I turned to internet. Accidents happen every day, but we do our best to avoid them. We need to learn and keep our baby close.

  • I am all for co-sleeping (same bed) until the baby is about 5-6 months old. Then, the baby should go to his/her bedroom, as by then they can easily sleep 7-8 hours long, as so parents can sleep easier too.

  • Great info. I’m only just trying to get pregnant. (Fingers crossed!) I was looking into this because I’d read so much about it being healthier for a baby to sleep separately from parents. It seems so counter-intuitive to me. I want my baby near me. Glad to learn more. Seems it can be done safely with some precautions. Seems common sense and so natural. TY

  • I work in a PICU and have seen many SIDS deaths.  However, they all had circumstances as you describe.  I bed share with my 10-mo-old and have since he was born.  We do it safely and it’s the key to breastfeeding success and rest for us.

  • Honesty, I didn’t even realize there was a difference between bed-sharing and cosleeping! We are bed-sharers over here too ����‍♀️ with the baby waking every few hours to eat, I can’t imagine having it any other way. The peace and comfort that it brings to me & my baby is everything. Your Hugo is such a sweetie! I know it’s hard not getting much sleep now, but just keep telling yourself, he’ll be grown before you know it, so these are the moments to cherish ❤️��

  • Thank you so much. My family is not supportive of breastfeeding and bed sleeping with my 30 month old daughter however I never let that stop me because it felt right! Maybe you could talk about vaccinations… so many parents are scared into vaccinating it’s sad. Anyone can go to learntherisk.org
    All the best to everyone!

  • In my opinion leaving your infant all alone in another room
    Is so sad:( but than again, everyone is different, everyone has different opinions! But as a mother it breaks my
    Heartttttt even thinking about it ����‍♀️��

  • Omgg girlllllll preachhhh to what you said!!!! Our US culture is so damn protective because of their “studies” and some cases of where there was a dangerous situation. But in reality.. more than half the world bed shares with their kids.. ITS SO NORMAL!!! The society we live in makes us seem like we’re bad parents if we are co sleeping or bed sharing:/ it’s annoying. Anyways do what you gotta do girl, it’s your babyyyyyyyy no one else’s! You do you:) we put our 4 month old baby in the crib/swing/ and bed share. Honestly anything goes:p do don’t worry about it. Your not the only one ������❤️

  • We bed share. I used to give baby to hubby or my mother for naps in the daytime. I fell in such deep sleep that everytime they brought her in, it was a trauma from being so exhausted. I love bed sharing. I sleep much better. I never wanted a crib, but I’m so much more relaxed now having her next to me. If she cries I can handle her immediately. I also baby wear her as much as possible. It feels good like that:)

  • Co sleeping is the most natural thing. 2/3rds of the world does it! It is the western culture that thinks it is not ‘appropriate’ and women are being ‘forced’ to do things that don’t feel right.
    Please.. just follow your instincts and you will never regret anything you do. If you go ‘by the book’ there is a great chance to regret it when you stubble upon another ‘book’ that ‘makes more sense’!

  • I co sleep with my son. I wish i did more with my first 2 children. My newborn son would get so upset if he didnt sleep between his father and I. Even in the little cradle between us, he needed that warmth between his father and mother. Hes 5yrs now and is transitioning to his own bed. Hes wonderful and this has been so amazing. He also nursed until 20 months. He weened off on his own. Ill also mention i had cancer when he was 4. He still slept with me when i was so ill it helped me stay strong. I thankfully beat cancer last month. I am blessed and i hope others are too. Everyone take care and enjoy life especially our children. ❤

  • So right about the baby deciding where they sleep. We’ve gone through so many different versions of co sleeping with all the kids and even multiple situations with the same baby. We just adjusted when we needed to and figured it out. I was on a mattress on the floor with my son pretty much until he was a year old. We made the transition and he goes down in his own bed just fine with no fuss at all and he’s not even 2. Gotta do what works for you as long as you go about it safely.

  • thank you asa midwife for over 30 years I have always advised parents to to so but it is great to share your research and with the help of the internet and your video help more people to understand.

  • How can parents let the baby sleep alone… it’s time to give full attention n attachment with your baby… I can’t even imagine to let my son alone…

  • Unfortunately, humans tend to not follow guidelines and instructions given to them (just read information leaflet in most products, and there are so many examples of consequences of disregarding said instructions). It is much simpler to conprehend and follow baby on its back, on a firm mattress, in a crib/bassinet in the parent’s room (4 units of information) versus the plethora of conditions needed for safe bed-sharing (firm mattress, no gaps, nor sofa/recliner, no smoking, no drugs, medications? health conditions of the baby and the parents? no pillows or cushions, no heavy blankets, no children, pets?, breastfeeding and more (over 12 units of information!) That is why the recommendations are for seperate surface sleeping. If any one factor is not thoroughly followed, serious consequences may occur. Keep it simple, keep them safe. We all want babies to be safe, separate surface is the only safe sleep surface for a baby.

  • I bed shared with my parents until I was 15 years old lmao I hated sleeping in the dark and being alone. Your kid will tell you when they are ready!! ��

  • What an excellent summary about the benefits and risks of co-sleeping (including bed-sharing). Professor James McKenna and his team have done such a wonderful job researching this important topic and providing parents with real information so that we can make informed choices. Thank you for that, we truly appreciate it. 

  • Love this thank you for sharing the information. I did not intend to cosleep but breastfeeding is easier when this is done as you said. Will be showing this video to my family.

  • I’ve been very firm on bedsharing and not putting baby to crib in a separate room before my first child was born. Mother instinct is a powerful tool. It guides me every time when conflicting advices, a lot of which are completely lack of any evidence, are given in modern western society. I don’t care how many times our pediatrician and in-laws urged me to “train” the babies to sleep independently. This is the most natural way of child rearing and has been around for thousands of years in human history, so it can’t be harmful, to say the least.

  • This has been super helpful. I’m a single mom and it was super difficult to keep my son in the bassinet/crib. Like he would scream or even growl lol. We’ve been bed sharing since we got home on day 2 (due to Covid) I believe he feels safe next to me and even with the thought of SIDS I feel safer that he’s next to me. I constantly check him and let me tell ya he doesn’t like to be bothered haha. he guides me to how he wants to sleep, he start on his tummy, to the side then by morning he’s on his back. But easy for my son and I to breast feed. Babies are incredibly amazing little human beings and if they can find their way to a boob at birth they can do anything

  • I suppose encouraging bedsharing doesn’t make money for baby companies! I just cannot get my mind around having a nursery room altogether because of the proximity (reasons noted in the video) and frequency of nursing and soothing baby in the first year or so.

  • Since day 1 he slept with me, though my mom was always concerned of horror stories that i might crush him, suffocate him, but, now he’s 1 month, he doesn’t sleep in his own bed, he sleeps with me, i can feel he feels safe, and i feel relieved to sleep! Some rest!

  • Davidsonmothersonfarthersonmymothermotherbabiesmombadkidmothermichellemothermombadmothermichellemotherwifebabymombabymomrealmothermother

  • I bedshared with each of my babies. Now 13, 11 and 5.
    2 years minimum of nursing.
    Always a safe co sleeping.
    I slepted so well.

    My last baby is 5 and we are room sharing still. We are still enjoying this…soon it will end.
    He will get his own new room.

    I have enjoyed every minute of co sleeping. Nursing at any time. The closeness. Everything about it.
    I wore ear plugs lol
    I wouldnt hear his little sleeping noises. I would magicly wake up to change their diApers and nurse them.
    I would wake up with 4 wet diApers and no memories of changing them. We were in a bond. In sincronocity.
    Oh. The dog would sleep with us.
    (King size bed)
    And we each had our own space.
    Husband slept somewhere else CAUSE I SNORED.
    But to my babies It wouldnt bother them.

    Co sleep safe.
    Dont be ashamed.
    Dont think you are spoiling them.

    My oldest will be 13. I still remember having him by me in bed. They grow so fast.

    Safe co sleeping.
    Use 2 bed barriers on each sides.
    Each their own blankets and space.
    Not too much blankets.
    Each your own spot.
    No drunk mom.

    I would do this all over again in a minute…

  • I’m one of those moms who didn’t intend to co-sleep but ended up doing so. We just sort of fell into it because I kept falling asleep while my son was nursing (he was a marathon breast-feeder), so we didn’t take all of the safety precautions we could have (or should have) in the beginning. This information should be more available!

  • My mother did bed-sharing with me and my sister, and despite opposition from doctors/nurses/in-laws, I defied them all and am bed-sharing with my newborn son. He always tries to snuggle close, I wake up if he so much as changes his breathing. I do also breastfeed, no smoking or alcohol or drugs in this house… my husband is nervous about it, but much less so than slightly less than two weeks ago. I am definitely keeping this video to have adversaries watch, next time I’m hassled!

  • Also had the problem where he would want to climb into bed up to age 3. I was a basket case since I didn’t get sleep for 3 years.

  • TTC currently….we plan to put the crib between my side of the bed and the wall without one side of the crib as a “sidecar”
    So baby has their own space if they want it but is within arms reach because I can’t even fathom a baby sleeping in another room.

    I’m a full time nanny and anytime I have the kids over night, I share a bed with the kids under 5 or I can’t sleep. ��

    ��‍♀️ the best laid plans though… who knows!

  • how long did u bed share? my lil girl is 7 months and we still bed share,,just wondering if ur baby outgrew it or if u had to sleep train etc,,,thanks!

  • Thank you so much for this! I’m a midwife and give the parents the info about safety in bed sharing! I appreciate your perspective so very much!

  • Hello Well I have two kids NEVER ever ever had breast milk to the point where my doctor says are you sure you’re not only had one but two babies????We laugh over it but it’s true also my kids went from hospital directly to their own room /beds between me and my husband we fed them even using a clock alarm every 2 hours there were times they woke us or we woke themThey are excellent teenagers one is like me nonstop running talking swimming at the beach for hours on end sports oriented the other more like dad loves his books and now his girlfriendWell, they are FINE so what to say about this??

  • Our 14 month son is the happiest baby who is extremely popular everywhere he goes who receiving compliments from strangers every single day. Sometimes ten times a day. He is very outgoing active smart and friendly, social. He is extremely attached to me and pretty much with Dad too. We share bed since he was born

  • Great video. As a father it is something I never thought I would do. It has been quite enjoyable. Doing it safe is important though, a lot of it is just common sense.

    Please read more here: https://www.promotedtoparent.com/co-sleeping-dads-perspective/

  • hello all I just wanted to shear what I feel is an important and overlooked issue. I have found it very important part of the healing from birth trauma path with my now 6.5 daughter to bed in our room when she asks (on yoga matt with sleeping bag until we by king bed)repearenting her in attachment parenting, with co sleeping, non violent communication, unschooling  education style and lots of hugs has all allowed he to go through the normal stages of development according to garbor mate(not spelled right)info I watch here on youtube,CO SLEEPING CAN SAVE LIVES AND HEAL DAMAGED RELATIONSHIPS. eaven my non ap hubby is being more responsive.

  • I was so upset that I wasn’t able to Breast feed to have that bonding experience with my daughter until I started bed sharing with her and I got to bond with her during our sleep and it is the most amazing thing to experience she will wake me up by grabbing at my nose and once my eyes are open i get to see my beautiful girls bright smile I am constantly warned and told how bad it is but it is so natural for us and I wouldn’t trade this special sleep time for the world �� thank you for posting this that I’m not alone in the bed sharing community

  • Hi. I am literally thanking God that you’re sharing this information. I actually wrote a blog recently in which I promote Dr. McKenna’s book. I’m a co-sleeping mom and also a copywriter. If you ever need a writer to help you produce co-sleeping content please feel free to contact me at [email protected].

  • I was terrified to fall asleep with my first child. Eventually, over the course of the first month he regularly slept in bed with me at night. I will be cosleeping with my next child. This is a great, informative video!

  • We bed share when our LO is sick and oh my gosh I couldn’t do it all the time our son is a crazy sleeper I don’t get much rest when he’s in our bed and I notice he sleeps better when he’s in his room and his bed. When he’s in our bed though as far as the blanket thing we put him on top of it and sometimes he’ll sleep on his stomach but the blanket will be pulled down so it won’t be in his face. He’s 19 months old so I don’t have to worry to much about him.

  • I was too afraid to sleep with my baby when she was very small, but when she got to 3 moths, it was much easier. I breastfeed my girl. She is almost 2 and she helps herself to boob and we all get sleep. Pillows are placed on the floor around the bed. So yeah, whatever works for you. Our little girl is happy and your mother instinct will keep you alert. Doc is right! I GET MORE SLEEP!! WE ALL GET MORE SLEEP!

  • That is my problem with my baby as well he’s already 8 months and still bed sharing with us.. though if he’s in deep sleep I can be able to lay him in his own crib for 2-4 hours then he would wake up screaming if he realize he’s not beside us., I thought it was going to be bad for baby but seeing this video makes me feel confident that I wasn’t alone and you are also right, people do this in other countries I mean I was born in the Philippines and I bed share with my parents till I’m in kindergarten because we live in a poor country to where we didn’t had our own room as well as my brother, so yea I feel comfortable now. ❤️ thanks momma ��

  • Thank you Dr. McKenna.
    The pediatricans’ messages are very bias because they must see a lot of physical abuse and neglect that resulted in injuries. Sometimes they are promoting techniques without proper mental health and attachment training, ex.denying co-sleeping benefits, and promoting time-out (just to prevent physical abuse, but may not be the best parenting strategy overall)….Telling parents to be anxious about every little thing in order to prevent choking, injuries, falling down stair and dying…and I think it is way too scary for parents and are making them anxious. “No environment will ever be perfect, there will always be trade-offs and risks you take.” Well said!

  • We have a little swaddleme basket that goes on the bed and baby can sleep in it in the middle of my husband and I. Is that proper co sleeping? It seems to work great for us. My 3 week old has been sleeping almost 5 hours between us.

  • I co sleep with my baby ever since she was born. Now she is 8 months old. My mother did the same when I was a baby.Absolutely there is no problem. It is really easy to feed her or to cuddle with her when she wakes up in between sleep. I can clearly see, she is really attached and feel safe with me and her daddy.

  • They breastfeed more during the night-and you think this is a good thing? Sure, maybe for the baby’s immune system (but a totally unnecessary advantage), but sure as hell isn’t beneficial for mom’s sleep cycle. Sheesh.

  • My daughter is 8 months and we are going to room share soon because my fiancé is deployed and we’re moving in with my mama. Since we are sharing a room I feel like we’re bound to bed share. I’m nervous about her crawling and falling off the bed. Since she’s 8 months and moving around so much!! I’m thinking about getting the tall bed rails for my bed. What do you think? They are just so expensive and I’m not sure if I should bring her in my bed since she’s sleep trained. Ugh I’m at a crossroads!

  • We bed shared with our daughter. I started transitioning her to her own bed (a pack and play in our room) at 9 months when it felt right. We always tend towards following baby’s lead with things so it was a slow but positive transition. Lots of times she’d still end up in our bed for a portion of the night. When she turned 20 months she got her own toddler bed (still in our room) and began transitioning to sleeping in that. She just turned 2 and despite the fact that I have responded to every nighttime noise, held her to sleep each night that she has wanted, and done literally nothing to “train” her to self soothe she chooses to climb into her own bed at night and fall asleep. Keep trusting your mama instincts and responding to your baby in the way that feels most natural. You’ve got this.

  • I guess this is just a totally different parenting philosophy. When you kept saying that that’s what the baby wants and that the baby decides, I just can’t understand that mentality. Sure they can have choices and form opinions but in my view it’s up to us as parents to make sure that those choices are not harmful. My kiddo doesn’t want to ride in a car seat but that doesn’t mean that I’ll allow them to ride in a car without it. It’s not about being mean but being an adult I can comprehend that it is safer while they can’t. Sure it’s painful to say no when they are sad but I know that it is in their best interest.
    As I’ve seen time and time again being a pediatric nurse, what seems cute when they’re little isn’t cute when they’re older. I’ve worked way too much with kids who have had a chronic illness so their parents give them whatever they want. Then they grow older and the parents are still giving into every demand. You can’t just turn off learned behavior.

  • Interesting that he states Japan has one of the lowest rates of sids.. Because they don’t vaccinate until 3 years… And also vaccines and how they effect the liver can impact the lungs and create apnea issues. It’s linked in hillary butlers book just a little prick

  • My husband and I bedshare. Now that my oldest is 3 we have put her toddler bed next to our bed. Initially we tried to get her to sleep in her room but she got up several times and was terrified. I was VERY uncomfortable with the idea of her being and feeling alone at 3 yrs old. She saw her bed in our room the next night and was absolutely overjoyed/relieved/excited…she danced and sang how she loved it! My 2 yr old is weening and when she is about 4 her bed will also be in our room. We haven’t decided when but when we move their beds they will be in the same room so that they have each other. I have always had my twin sister. I couldn’t imagine how it must feel to be alone.

  • How I wish this research was the dominant voice on cosleeping! There is such a lot of myth surrounding this perfect way of being with babies.

  • Nope I can’t do it kudos to those who can I didn’t give my girls a choice it was in the bassinet then the crib……it was tough dealing with the fussing throughout the night but now both girl age 3 and 1 sleep in their own rooms…..i have to have my own space at night

  • if you want to know more about co sleeping with your babies, here my review its honest and im a breast feeding mum!

    Please check. my channel out

  • I wish I could have participated in one of your sleep studies!  All of my children slept with me, and I received criticism for it. I am not a smoker, but my first husband was and I was therefore subject to some second-hand smoke during my first two pregnancies. Does second-hand smoke affect the infant in the same way that the mother smoking during pregnancy does?

  • I’m so glad that I watched this video. Thank you so much for the enlightening information. As a new mum I was told very strictly to NOT bed share by all health care professionals, but I couldn’t help it. From the second I gave birth to my baby baby, he slept right by my side. It was easier, as I’m breastfeeding, and he was always happier when he aroused; it just felt like the best thing to do for us both. Because of the negativity surrounding the whole situation I wasn’t very open about it, and always thought in some way I wasn’t doing it “right”. Listening to video, and getting to hear all of the information has made me feel as though I AM doing the right thing for my child, and myself, and that my instincts were correct. Thank you for giving the power back to Mothers.

  • please someone tell this person there is a thing called the illuminati that want to control the world and they do not want children being raised in an attachment parent style,because this means smarter more enlightened advancement. THE FARMERS DONT WANT SMART COWS,,,THERE TO HARD TO CONTROLL.

  • Thank you! I loved bed sharing with my parents. Today I breast feed and cosleep with my 4 month old baby girl. I will be sharing this video.

  • Erika! Thank you so much for sharing. We are in our TTC journey and we’ve discussed if we would go-sleep. We’ve never really liked the idea of it (no problem with other people doing it haha) but it just wasn’t something we were sure on. Then one night I went to go to bed and our cat was asleep on the bed next to my husband, as I got under the sheets my husband rolled over and laid partly on the cat. I had to shake him to wake him up and freaked him out with me yelling ‘get off the him!!’ ���� it was so scary. �� luckily he was fine, he just wasn’t a fan of my husband for a few days haha. But it made it pretty clear that we are both such heavy sleepers that it just wouldn’t be safe. I think I’d probably get less sleep worrying about it.

    Can I ask, where did Hugo sleep for naps? I’m curious to know if there’s something that’s worked during the day x

  • I bedshare. I’m on baby number 2.
    After breastfeeding is complete I position myself lower in the bed so the baby is at my face. ITS AMAZING and we sleep great.
    My first son left the bed when he was ready.

  • You are so right! I’m a mommy, and my little 5 year old still falls asleep next to me. I don’t listen to the statistics that suggest there is something wrong with a child over 3 sleeping with his or her parents. It builds trust, security and a lifelong bond. Plus mommy’s bed is memory foam, which my daughter loves 😉

  • I truly loved this video it made me feel normal lol, it’s crazy that bed sharing can even make you feel like your doing something wrong but after seeing this I feel like I’m not the only one in this planet doing this! Thank you so much.

  • I never let go of my kid from the moment I had her. She slept on my chest in the hospital, I took her home to my bed and she slept with me until she was 5 or so. She is now a very secure, smart and emotionally responsive person. The first day of preschool she dropped my hand ran into the play yard and said, “bye mommy.” And she was off to being her own person. I think it’s good for both mommy

  • I slept with my babies, as I was a nursing mom, the only issue I had with bed sharing was that my first son did not want to transition to his own bed. It took me almost 4 years to get him in to his own bed. It caused fights between his father and myself every night as we were no longer sleeping in the bed together because our son was “taking over” Then I had another baby and the bed sharing experience was rather positive, I was able to nurse, sleep and diaper change easily, no issues!

  • We started out with an armsreach co-sleeper bassinet. When she outgrew that I tried a pack n play next to the bed but I felt she was too far away for me to check on her and touch her. She moved into my bed and we both get more sleep.

  • I felt so bad listening to you talk, I just felt your anxiety about what the comments would look like… You’re a great mama and only mentally unstable women would ever, EVER do something intentionally unsafe for their child.

  • Everyone should not bedshare. I know of someone who’s daughter died at 6 months because her dad rolled over & smoothered her. Very tragic. Just know if you are able to safely sleep with baby. Good video & i bed shares with my daughter as well but my husband didn’t because he sleeps too sound.

  • Haha, yes, Elizabeth, those were dishes banging in the background. It was impossible to find a quiet area for filming as it was at a hotel conference setting in which I was lecturing. But glad you liked the interview. Sorry for the noise. (You might have also noticed the arrival of my smiling colleague, Dr.Kathy Kendall-Tackett, who inadvertently did a cameo appearance. (Adds a little something special, don’t you think??:)

  • Very intelligent guy. Great points. Parents need more info that is not held back so we CAN make the correct decisions and weighing out the risk (which there always is)

  • I’m bed sharing with my first baby. I never ever thought it would be something I would do but I’m doing it. I breastfeed her so it’s so convenient. I’m just following her lead. She won’t sleep in her bassinet so that’ll be a transition we do later when she’s ready.

  • I’m bed sharing with my 6 month old. Initially, we were co sleeping (separate surfaces) with a bassinet next to my side of the bed. But when I returned to work It was mucky easier to bed share. It was so hard to find good information regarding safety because my pediatrician said i shouldn’t do it. I found research regarding breastfeeding and bed sharing. I’ve never smoked in my life, don’t drink alcohol and I’m very aware of my baby at nighttime. I don’t mind that he wakes up 2-3x per night to nurse. I will be moving him to his crib but room sharing fairly soon.

  • These are great tips! We were able to cosleep with our son but he had a small thing between us in the bed that he slept in and it kept him from rolling around and kept up from rolling over on him. It was really nice.