Discussing Sleep Together With Your Baby



Video taken from the channel: Georgina Kent


Can my baby sleep in my bed with me? -Dr. Paul-

Video taken from the channel: paulthomasmd


Sleep Training Your Baby in a Shared Room

Video taken from the channel: thebabybook


Co-Sleeping With Infants: Science, Public Policy, and Parents Civil Rights, with James McKenna, PhD

Video taken from the channel: PathwaysConnect


How to safely co-sleep with your baby

Video taken from the channel: Today’s Parent



Video taken from the channel: Erika Moulton


Safe Sleep for Your Baby

Video taken from the channel: SeattleChildrens

“Bed sharing” refers to having your baby sleep in bed with you, rather than in a separate space such as a crib. Some people call sharing a bed with your baby “sleep sharing” or “co-sleeping.” However, co-sleeping can also be used as a more general term to refer to your baby sleeping close to you, either in the same bed or nearby, for example. Experts recommend room-sharing without bed-sharing to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) and other sleep-related deaths in infants. Bed-sharing — letting your baby sleep in the same bed with you — is one type of co-sleeping, which is when parents sleep near their baby.

Co-sleeping is sleeping in the same vicinity as your infant, or what experts call ‘within sensory range’. This means you can hear, see and (yup) smell baby. Bed sharing is a type of co-sleeping.

Bed sharing means you are sharing the same sleep space, namely a bed, with your baby. This is a small, but significant difference. The waking up that happens with room sharing may be the exact thing that protects the baby. It should be pointed out, too, that infancy doesn’t last forever. As much as it can feel like an eternity of being woken at night, the fact is that over time, most babies learn to sleep through the night and give their parents a break.

So the safestplace for a baby to sleep is in a cot by your bed. However, you can reduce the risk of accidents and, because bed sharing helps with breastfeeding, you may find this leaflet useful. Smoking increases the risk of cot death.

You should make sure that you don’t fall asleep with your baby in your bed if you (or any other person in the. If you do co-sleep with your baby, here are the recommendations for safe sleep: Make sure your baby can’t fall out of bed or become trapped between the mattress and wall. Keep pillows, sheets and blankets away from your baby to avoid them over-heating or covering their face and obstructing their breathing.

If, in spite of the recommendations against it and the dangers, you still choose to sleep in the same bed as your baby, make it as safe as possible: Talk to your pediatrician about your sleeping arrangements. Remove all big blankets from the bed, ensure you have a firm mattress, skip the feather bed. Sharing the bed with your baby multiplies the risk for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) fivefold, according to a 2013 study. The American Academy of Pediatrics cites the dangers of SIDS and.

Cosleeping refers to the many different ways babies sleep in close emotional and physical contact with their parents, usually within arms reach. Whether it is for protection, warmth, food, or comfort, humans and other mammals routinely sleep side by. Even the researchers behind the bedsharing cautions agree that by about four months bedsharing by any responsible, nonsmoking adult is as safe as having your baby sleep separately in a bassinet or crib. (11) If you and your baby fit the Safe Sleep Seven criteria, your baby’s risk of SIDS is what one sleep researcher calls vanishingly small.

List of related literature:

The AAP has made this recommendation because this arrangement decreases the risk of SIDS by as much as 50% and is safer than bed sharing or solitary sleeping (infant sleeping in a separate room).

“Burns' Pediatric Primary Care E-Book” by Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks, Nancy Barber Starr, Margaret A. Brady, Nan M. Gaylord, Martha Driessnack, Karen Duderstadt
from Burns’ Pediatric Primary Care E-Book
by Dawn Lee Garzon Maaks, Nancy Barber Starr, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Sharing a sleeping surface increases the risk of SIDS.

“Leifer's Introduction to Maternity & Pediatric Nursing in Canada E-Book” by Gloria Leifer, Lisa Keenan-Lindsay
from Leifer’s Introduction to Maternity & Pediatric Nursing in Canada E-Book
by Gloria Leifer, Lisa Keenan-Lindsay
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

Mothers who do not breastfeed but who bed-share with the baby do not appear to automatically assume this protective sleep position, a finding that suggests that, for those not breastfeeding, a safer way to assure sensory proximity is a three-sided samesurface crib attached to the parent’s bed (refer to Figure 6.2).

“Infant and Toddler Development from Conception to Age 3: What Babies Ask of Us” by Mary Jane Maguire-Fong, Marsha Peralta
from Infant and Toddler Development from Conception to Age 3: What Babies Ask of Us
by Mary Jane Maguire-Fong, Marsha Peralta
Teachers College Press, 2018

Infants sleeping prone in a separate room face a 17-fold increase in risk, but this reduces to a three-fold risk if sharing a room with parents.

“Midwifery: Preparation for Practice” by Sally Pairman, Sally K. Tracy, Carol Thorogood, Jan Pincombe
from Midwifery: Preparation for Practice
by Sally Pairman, Sally K. Tracy, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

The risk of infant bed sharing is increased in infants who have no identified place to sleep, have health or care issues, and are breastfed.

“Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care” by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig, Mary Beth Makic, Marina Martinez-Kratz, Melody Zanotti
from Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care
by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2019

The AAP recommends room-sharing and the use of a bed-side sleeper, without bed-sharing, as a means of promoting breastfeeding while reducing the risk of SIDS.

“Breastfeeding and Human Lactation” by Karen Wambach, Becky Spencer
from Breastfeeding and Human Lactation
by Karen Wambach, Becky Spencer
Jones & Bartlett Learning, 2019

Room sharing without bed sharing is associated with lower SIDS rates; the safest place for an infant to sleep may be in his or her own crib in the parents’ room.

“Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics E-Book” by Robert M. Kliegman, Bonita F. Stanton, Joseph St. Geme, Nina F Schor, Richard E. Behrman
from Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics E-Book
by Robert M. Kliegman, Bonita F. Stanton, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2011

Similarly, a study conducted in Scotland (Tappin, Ecob, & Brooke, 2005) found that the risk of bed sharing was greatest for infants younger than 11 weeks, and this association remained among infants with nonsmoking mothers.

“Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care” by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig
from Nursing Diagnosis Handbook E-Book: An Evidence-Based Guide to Planning Care
by Betty J. Ackley, Gail B. Ladwig
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2010

Room sharing but not bed sharing is recommended during infant sleep; bed sharing can increase the risk of suffocation and falls.

“Maternity and Women's Health Care E-Book” by Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Shannon E. Perry, Mary Catherine Cashion, Kathryn Rhodes Alden
from Maternity and Women’s Health Care E-Book
by Deitra Leonard Lowdermilk, Shannon E. Perry, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2014

Room sharing without bed sharing is associated with lower SIDS rates, and is therefore recommended.

“Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 2-Volume Set” by Robert M. Kliegman, MD, Bonita F. Stanton, MD, Joseph St. Geme, MD, Nina F Schor, MD, PhD
from Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics, 2-Volume Set
by Robert M. Kliegman, MD, Bonita F. Stanton, MD, et. al.
Elsevier Health Sciences, 2015

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Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

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  • I breastfed and safely bedshared with all six of my children. It is absolutely correct that parents must do so safely as James McKenna states. All six breastfed until at least two years of age and left our bed when they were ready. I truly believe that bed sharing/co-sleeping had much to do with my many years of successful nursing. This is wonderful information that is offered in this You Tube interview and more parents need this thorough and very beneficial information on co-sleeping.

  • I breastfeed my baby and 2weeks after she was born I decided to cosleep with my baby me and my husband got more sleep she did too �� and as she got older she would just turn around to my breast and we just had this conection when I knew she wanted to feed…..

  • If you put baby in bed don’t swaddle them because they need their arms free to stay move the covers and stay balanced when the mattress shifts

  • We bed share. Don’t drink, smoke, aren’t obese, and are careful about having anything that could cover his face etc. It’s the most natural way and parents breath and heart beat can actually reduce sleep apnea and help baby breathe better. If you are a heavy sleeper and it’s possible you could roll onto a pillow or something without waking up right away, co sleeping is probably not for you. Or maybe you have to sleep on the floor on a blanket and put some sort of wall between you so you can’t roll onto baby. There is more than one way to do things.

  • I have been bedsharing with my little one since she was a month old and she now is four months old I am always worried about sids and hear so many bad things about it but this is what works for us and I love this time with her and the sweet cuddles she likes before she falls asleep

  • My son is almost 5 months and sleep in bed, between my husband and me. I can’t even imagine moving him to his own room at night, I love having him near. I do put him in the nursery for day naps so he’s slowly getting use to spending time in that room.

  • Bedsharing is the norm in whole Asia with No issue. In American culture parenting style is too tough for newborn by putting them in a separate bed and room. It’s cruel child neglect in Asia

  • I love this video. I planned on using a Halo also but my baby hated being away from me. After a month of sleepless nights we decided to bed share.

  • Hospitalbabyboymothermotherbabiesmombadsonfarthersonmymothermichellemothermombadmothermombadwifebabymommothersonmymothersonfarthermothermykidmothermichellemothermombad

  • I bought a $300 bassinet for our room and tons of different types of swaddles. Our first baby had other plans. He love love loves sleeping on us. We did basically constant skin to skin in the hospital. I breastfeed so keeping him in bed is so much easier and the closeness is so calming and allows all of us to sleep better. I’ve honestly just started mothering intuitively and have no fears when it comes to bed sharing in our circumstances. We did take extra precautions to make it safer with reduced pillows/blankets. Breastsleeping/bedsharing feels so natural for us. I wish it was more okay to talk about. I’m hoping he will still eventually transition to co sleeping in our room in his own bed space, he will for naps sometimes but only because he falls asleep on us and we are able to lay him down sometimes without him waking. Thank you for posting this to make others feel less alone!

  • Your journey with your son was the SAME for me and mine in the Hospital!
    He hated the bucket and the nurse tilted it and it still didn’t help.
    They were checking to make sure I wasn’t sleeping with him and so when we got home we tried time after time to get him to sleep in his (brand name is arms reach co-sleeper) bassinet/pac n play.
    No he wasn’t having it, we struggled for a while.
    It might have been first two months, maybe Longer but I don’t know if I wrote down the exact time we just decided to bed share because my husband and I were feeling guilty.
    My doctors/nurses, baby programs we had taken, in laws, our own anxiety about possible hurting or Killing our baby because we were told/taught that if we sleep with him would would kill him! It’s so sad! Well I have always had a wonderful relationship with my daughter and I respect her so much. We can always learn even from our children!
    She is an adult and was planning a child, as I wasn’t being my new husband and I thought it wasn’t in our cards and we were fine!
    (We blame my daughter because she had been wishing for a sibling all her life!!! 18th birthday and WOW SHE GOT HER WISH LOL! I was pregnant!)
    She and her fiancé found out a week after I announced!
    So my son was an uncle at 3 weeks and 1 day old!
    My daughter pretty much Bedshared from the start, I was concerned because I realize as we grow we learn from the past to help protect us in the future!
    I thought we shouldn’t bed sharing but Because I trust my daughter I knew it wasn’t my place to mom shame her for doing what she felt was right, I was far too stressed and worried about shamming myself!
    Well I am disabled and diagnosed with Amnesia so I don’t remember my pregnancy with my daughter or her childhood, I can only remember her at 10years old!)
    This causes me to question everything I do! (Or what I’m told I did in the past)
    Well get this as a single TEEN MOM I was 16 pregnant and 17 when I had her in 2000 (I was 35 pregnant with her brother!!)
    I lived with my granny and she tells me that she would come in and check on us but I was fine, and so was my daughter sleeping right next to me in BED! (I had a bed on the floor and against the wall so my daughter couldn’t fall out) AND I WAS ABLE TO NURSE HER TIL SHE WEANED HERSELF AT 11.5 months old!
    I really feel it’s natural to want to protect our children and have them close to us!
    I understand some people shouldn’t because they will hurt their babies because they could be sound sleepers or move throughout the night, but I should have trusted myself from day one not because of what I don’t remember doing with my daughter. Because I’m like a new mom but my body and mind just really know what to do if I don’t panic!
    I am not on medications and I am not on drugs or alcohol, I don’t smoke (I used to but quit for my son and granddaughter )
    I don’t toss and turn and I trust my son too know he couldn’t roll over for a long time because he was and is a HUGE BABY!!
    He weighed 8lbs 15.4oz 21.5in long are birth
    Today he is 8months old 29lbs 1oz
    29.75 inches long
    Size 7 diapers (his butt crack hangs out of the size 6) takes a 2 to 3 year old dose of medicine when needed (doctors orders )
    Wearing 3T to 4T clothes
    (He can wear some 24 months or 2T depends on the fit but they can be really tight!) he out grew his mamaroo and jumparoo before he was 5 and 6months old! We had to hand an outdoor swing up
    Inside for him!
    He’s got strong legs and can stand but he’s not crawling yet because he’s just so big!
    All I know is that He is a sweet and sensitive baby, even if he bites me while nursing and I slightly say “oh” or “nah nah” he we pucker and cry because it doesn’t matter he doesn’t understand the word no, he can tell I’m hurt or upset!
    My mother-in-law would and does tell me to quit nursing but I won’t!
    I will when it’s right, but I am and over producer and my son is a big eater so right now I want to feed him as long as he wants it, and eventually I will just put my milk in a sippy cup for him!
    Getting up and down every hour on the hour to feed him wouldn’t have been possible for me while I’m disabled and even if I wasn’t he’s so heavy! I was more afraid of dropping him being half asleep!
    So trust yourself and your baby! We have a king size bed, he’s been able to lift his head early and my daughter was 100% right for trusting herself!
    She even taught me what one person commented on here! 3rd world countries bed share and have lower SIDS then the USA
    I don’t know why our numbers are so high but my opinion is, parents are so sleep deprived they do fall asleep and it feels like they did something wrong, or intoxication!?
    (I used to have a disabled puppy that was smaller then a package of crackers at 4 months old that I was rehabilitating he would sleep in my arm at night weighing only 13oz and I never once rolled over on him, or dropped him! This was before my son, so I remember thinking if I could do that and felt like that puppy’s mom maybe I should trust my instincts in the first week we had our son home, but I ended up having panic attacks because The nurses/doctors and hospital had me so scared, there was even an image of a baby sleeping next to a knife in some advertisement I saw about bed sharing!!
    Thanks for sharing this video and your family’s experiences!

  • I cant without a nursing pillow that they are strapped in or something.. I never share a blanket anyways.. I hate sharing my blanet always have. The U.S. don’t like it cause its been issues other places are starting to not be ok wit this also.. Sadly if anything happens in the us god forbid they will lock u up in a heat beat.. My Hubby was working alot did sleep deep I can’t do it even now for me I cant and my youngest is 1and 10 months.. Break it early is my rule.. I get it done asap.. For me I say Parent’s not friend’s.. My kids don’t get there way they do what I want and what I say..I have 9 kids about 2 be 10 I learned fast that giving in u will regeret it in the long run but every1 journey is there own and do what works I guess!!

  • I breast fed all 3 of my daughters and they slept in my bed with me. I come from a HUGE family and bed sharing is the norm. As a child I even slept in my grandparents bed when I went to their houses. I was more surprised to find out some people don’t sleep with their babies in the same bed. My 3rd daughter would hold her breath as a newborn baby and had some slight breathing issues. I couldn’t imagine not being close enough to help my baby if they were having a breathing issue or choking. I know someone who rolled over on her baby and suffocated it but, when they investigated it turned out she and the father had been drinking/drugging heavily that night, smoked cigarettes in the same room and she had the baby wrapped in a heavy blanket, laying between her and her husband. The worst part is she had 2 other children taken away for neglect years earlier �� but I remember it in the news paper in my town and so many people commenting about bed sharing and how it’s dangerous. It was the negligence of the parents that killed the baby. I think the bad cases get sensationalized and it screws it up for everyone else. Babies die in their cribs/bassinets from SIDS too and then the parents question if they had the baby in the bed with them would they have noticed something was wrong. I think people should be more honest. I know family members who have lied to the doctors and say they never sleep with their babies in the bed even though they have. Statistics aren’t always accurate because people lie. There could be way more babies who share a bed with their parents and survive through infancy but, it doesn’t get reported or talked about. Personally I preferred my babies as close to me as possible. They are adults now with their own babies and lives and I still worry about them just as much. I think bed sharing is ok if done safely. Sadly instead of hospitals going over how to safely bed share now a days they just say never let your baby sleep in your bed. Breast feeding is exhausting at times but, it’s the best thing for your baby and from my personal experience bed sharing makes breast feeding easier. I think it’s rare a baby dies from a parent rolling over on them. Usually there’s something to go along with it like drugs or alcohol. That’s just my opinion each to their own.

  • as a south asian….there is no question your take your kids to sleep in your bed…. when you want to trasition start slow by letting them sleep alone once a week,then gradually increase the days.. simple…

  • I’m so glad to have watched this video. I’m a mother of three children and have raised all of them with co-sleeping. My aussie mother-in law has tried hard to scare me off from the co-sleeping by telling me all of tragic stories she had heard or made? like ” someone’s baby died from rolling off from a bed etc” I’m from South Korea and almost every mum in Korea has raised their children with co-sleeping for generations and generations possibly up to a few thousand years and I’ve never heard any babies died from co-sleeping in Korea. I wish my mother-in law watched this video, too.

  • It took me seven weeks to finally give into the bedsharing, and I’m so glad I finally did. Our baby sleeps SO well now and so do we. Also if you sleep with your knees up, it’s physically impossible to roll over onto your baby. I think with all my future kids, I’ll have no qualms with bedsharing. Really wish there was not such a stigma around it

  • I did bedsharing with my one and only and she decided that she wanted her own sleeping space around 4 months of age. I miss it but I truly believe your child will let you know when they’re ready for the next step in any situation. Mine sure does!

  • I held my daughter on my chest as well for 3 months due to her acid relax. We bed share with her and we made her a homemade doc a tot and it worked well for us but now shes 6months and rolls so now we made her area flat. But I understand this completely. I check my daughter multiple times a night and made sure shes breathing. SIDS scare me so much but shes safe and sleeps well and I get my sleep.

  • in our Eastern culture co sleeping is considered good and this is something that 80% people are doing but in my opinion one should make her own choices about what to do or what not.if you are satisfied with bed sharing then go for it and if you think letting your baby sleep in his own room is better for him and for you too then that’s also gud.

  • I have 5 children 9, 6, 4, 3, and almost 8 months. All of them have slept with me from day 1. Only one was bottle fed, but he was still with me every night. I’ve never had an accidents with them falling off bed or rolled over on. I can be half sleep and I still know where my baby is. However they’ve never slept on my chest with me on my back. It’s always them on their back. They would reach out somewhat asleep and turn (trying to find me) so I would feed them and put back on back each time. I just couldn’t imagine my baby in another room and not being able to have my eyes or ears on them

  • It’s so true your baby does decide where they want to sleep. This was my biggest shocker of becoming a mom. My daughter was the same from the very beginning!! I had to sleep sitting up the first week or so until I gave up and bed shared. Wished I would have gave in sooner. I thought I HAD to use the bassinet.. bed sharing saved my life. Thanks for the video.. makes me feel less crazy. It’s nice to know I’m not alone

  • Omg I thought I was the only one who had a baby who couldn’t sleep on his back. He’s two months now and has only slept with me. I tried everything but the second his back touched a surface he’d cry. I though it was only my baby who did that. Im so relieved I’m not alone.

  • I am a mother of 4 i breast feed all my babys and one of my baby pass away while breast feeding and co sleeping i am so hurt i dont no what i did wrong was it the bed was it me was ot the hospital my medcation oxcodone while breast feeding was it my baby had breathing problems but at this point i will tell people not too co sleep becuse i will never have my baby agen ���������� what did i do wrong this time

  • Erika, thank you so much for making this video! Tried sleep training one of my twin daughters multiple times, once at 5 months and at 9 month failed both times. My situation is exactly like yours and I feel SO much better after watching your video! THANK YOU!
    Also, can you please tell me/make a video on how you sleep trained your son at 15 months?

  • Truly, I being Asian I never heard of SID before I turned to internet. Accidents happen every day, but we do our best to avoid them. We need to learn and keep our baby close.

  • I am all for co-sleeping (same bed) until the baby is about 5-6 months old. Then, the baby should go to his/her bedroom, as by then they can easily sleep 7-8 hours long, as so parents can sleep easier too.

  • Great info. I’m only just trying to get pregnant. (Fingers crossed!) I was looking into this because I’d read so much about it being healthier for a baby to sleep separately from parents. It seems so counter-intuitive to me. I want my baby near me. Glad to learn more. Seems it can be done safely with some precautions. Seems common sense and so natural. TY

  • I work in a PICU and have seen many SIDS deaths.  However, they all had circumstances as you describe.  I bed share with my 10-mo-old and have since he was born.  We do it safely and it’s the key to breastfeeding success and rest for us.

  • Honesty, I didn’t even realize there was a difference between bed-sharing and cosleeping! We are bed-sharers over here too ����‍♀️ with the baby waking every few hours to eat, I can’t imagine having it any other way. The peace and comfort that it brings to me & my baby is everything. Your Hugo is such a sweetie! I know it’s hard not getting much sleep now, but just keep telling yourself, he’ll be grown before you know it, so these are the moments to cherish ❤️��

  • Thank you so much. My family is not supportive of breastfeeding and bed sleeping with my 30 month old daughter however I never let that stop me because it felt right! Maybe you could talk about vaccinations… so many parents are scared into vaccinating it’s sad. Anyone can go to learntherisk.org
    All the best to everyone!

  • In my opinion leaving your infant all alone in another room
    Is so sad:( but than again, everyone is different, everyone has different opinions! But as a mother it breaks my
    Heartttttt even thinking about it ����‍♀️��

  • Omgg girlllllll preachhhh to what you said!!!! Our US culture is so damn protective because of their “studies” and some cases of where there was a dangerous situation. But in reality.. more than half the world bed shares with their kids.. ITS SO NORMAL!!! The society we live in makes us seem like we’re bad parents if we are co sleeping or bed sharing:/ it’s annoying. Anyways do what you gotta do girl, it’s your babyyyyyyyy no one else’s! You do you:) we put our 4 month old baby in the crib/swing/ and bed share. Honestly anything goes:p do don’t worry about it. Your not the only one ������❤️

  • We bed share. I used to give baby to hubby or my mother for naps in the daytime. I fell in such deep sleep that everytime they brought her in, it was a trauma from being so exhausted. I love bed sharing. I sleep much better. I never wanted a crib, but I’m so much more relaxed now having her next to me. If she cries I can handle her immediately. I also baby wear her as much as possible. It feels good like that:)

  • Co sleeping is the most natural thing. 2/3rds of the world does it! It is the western culture that thinks it is not ‘appropriate’ and women are being ‘forced’ to do things that don’t feel right.
    Please.. just follow your instincts and you will never regret anything you do. If you go ‘by the book’ there is a great chance to regret it when you stubble upon another ‘book’ that ‘makes more sense’!

  • I co sleep with my son. I wish i did more with my first 2 children. My newborn son would get so upset if he didnt sleep between his father and I. Even in the little cradle between us, he needed that warmth between his father and mother. Hes 5yrs now and is transitioning to his own bed. Hes wonderful and this has been so amazing. He also nursed until 20 months. He weened off on his own. Ill also mention i had cancer when he was 4. He still slept with me when i was so ill it helped me stay strong. I thankfully beat cancer last month. I am blessed and i hope others are too. Everyone take care and enjoy life especially our children. ❤