7 Conversations to prevent With Youthful Adult Kids

 

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Conversations to avoid with young adult kids There are some topics that parents of young adult kids are better off avoiding unless the young adult kids bring them up first. Respecting privacy and reserving judgement are two skills needed as kids grow into adulthood. Tell it like it is sometimes! Most of the time, grandparents should use the opposite approach when communicating with adult children. The best way to bridge the generation gap is to use tact and to defer to the parent’s right to make child-rearing decisions.

Here are seven guidelines for communicating with your adult childre. When your children are young, there are all kinds of resources at your fingertips to help you communicate with them. Countless magazines and Web sites are devoted, at least in part, to the art of talking to your kids how to teach them responsibility, how to help them express their feelings, how to get them to eat vegetables.

You also might spend a lot of time on the playground swapping war. When your young-adult kids have serious adult-sized problems, the kind that can derail a healthy and productive life, your heart may break, but your child’s choices don’t have to break you. Your child’s regrettable decisions do not make you a bad parent. Even good parents have children. Stop Enabling Your Addicted Adult Child Tough love is a hard, but a valuable language to learn.

Posted Nov 25, 2014. As a psychologist working with children and teens for over 30 years, I have counseled many troubled, overly dependent adult children. It is heart-wrenching to see these young adults in a. The words that follow either of those two don’t matter as the walls have gone up and the mind has shut down in your child. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me..

Philippians 4:13. Although unsolicited advice and money are probably the top two issues that cause conflict with parents and their adult kids, there are a few more things to keep in mind when parenting adult children. Don’t interfere with your child’s life unless asked.

When parents and other adults become more of a “partner” and less of a “boss” during conversations, children enjoy communicating with parents and stay interacting longer. Comment and wait. When you make a comment, express what you think and see, without demanding a particular response from your child. @Chrys I don’t read this as encouraging the child to intrude on conversations that is not relevant, but more that if you are having a conversation and the child offers a opinion treat the child as you would an adult.

The nosy neighbor will be gently rebuffed, but I agree with mxyzplk that treat children as persons.

List of related literature:

Questions such as “Have you any children?” complicate making new acquaintances.

“How We Grieve: Relearning the World” by Thomas Attig
from How We Grieve: Relearning the World
by Thomas Attig
Oxford University Press, 1996

By the time children are four or five, they’re already suspicious of the open-ended questions parents use when they’re fishing for intel, for instance, “What did you do today?” or “How was lunch?”

“The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children” by Wendy Mogel
from The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children
by Wendy Mogel
Scribner, 2008

Without hovering, ask them questions about themselves (kids love talking about themselves).

“Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Devotional: 52 Devotions Every Father Needs” by Meg Meeker
from Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Devotional: 52 Devotions Every Father Needs
by Meg Meeker
Salem Books, 2016

16 There is no such thing as conversation.

“Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations” by Elizabeth Knowles
from Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations
by Elizabeth Knowles
OUP Oxford, 2007
from an early age, talk to your daughter about deep subjects and keep the conversations going as she gets older.

“Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe” by Meg Meeker
from Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe
by Meg Meeker
Regnery Publishing, 2019

If they’re talking about unfamiliar topics, this isn’t a conversation your teen or young adult should join because he or she will slow it down, making it frustrating and boring for the group.

“The Science of Making Friends, (w/DVD): Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults” by Elizabeth Laugeson, John Elder Robison
from The Science of Making Friends, (w/DVD): Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults
by Elizabeth Laugeson, John Elder Robison
Wiley, 2013

We talk about the questions a bit, and I ask the children to think about which ones seem the most intriguing: “Which one would you most like to talk about with someone else?”

“Reading with Meaning: Teaching Comprehension in the Primary Grades” by Debbie Miller, ELLIN OLIVER. KEENE
from Reading with Meaning: Teaching Comprehension in the Primary Grades
by Debbie Miller, ELLIN OLIVER. KEENE
Stenhouse Publishers, 2002

Introduce this session to the children by explaining that they will be learning some new conversation skills that will help them to better initiate conversations with each other, as well as with other children and adults.

“Short-Term Play Therapy for Children, Second Edition” by Heidi Gerard Kaduson, Charles E. Schaefer
from Short-Term Play Therapy for Children, Second Edition
by Heidi Gerard Kaduson, Charles E. Schaefer
Guilford Publications, 2006

The conversation lasted twenty-eight turns, and contained five children’s questions.

“The Hungry Mind: The Origins of Curiosity in Childhood” by Susan Engel
from The Hungry Mind: The Origins of Curiosity in Childhood
by Susan Engel
Harvard University Press, 2015

As I got older, I developed categories of conversation and within those categories I had rules about what’s appropriate to talk about and what’s not, what interests people generally and what will turn them off from the start.

“The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships” by Temple Grandin, Sean Barron, Veronica Zysk
from The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships
by Temple Grandin, Sean Barron, Veronica Zysk
Future Horizons, 2005

Oktay Kutluk

Kutluk Oktay, MD, FACOG is one of the world's foremost experts in fertility preservation as well as ovarian stimulation and in vitro fertilization for infertility treatments. He developed and performed the world's first ovarian transplantation procedures as well as pioneered new ovarian stimulation protocols for embryo and oocyte freezing for breast and endometrial cancer patients.

Mail: [email protected]
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Biography: https://medicine.yale.edu/profile/kutluk_oktay/
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34 comments

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  • Actually baby talk or child directed speech can help babies learn language. Might be hard as someone who doesn’t know the kid to know what level/kind of cds is appropriate though. I’ve mostly heard about cds from caregivers though, can imagine it’s not really effective if you don’t know the infant. And ofcourse for older children it’s not a good idea.

  • Yes alright, we can learn from a child..
    I agree that the children are amazing..many lessons that can we take from them..
    The most one is about “patient”

  • Haha I liked it
    You’re just saying what is happening to me, there are no one to speak with me, NO ONE. I live in Brazil and it’s difficult to find someone that know English to practice

  • Hi Mohamed, My names ziad from egypt I’m eight years old, you’re handsome boy and you speak English very good, I’m proud of you

  • Has anyone noticed that either Hank or Rachel are hanging in the Hang in There poster in the background and when they’re both in the episode no one is in the poster?

  • The whole “oh, their immune systems are so weak” hypochondria is BS and the reason why serious allergies are on the rise. Maybe HTA should pass their scripts by their colleague from Healthcare Triage Dr. Aaron.

  • we’ve got a group on whatsapp to practice English and discuss diffrent issues the group is not for beginners only intermediate level
    +249908328273

  • نفسي أنهم يسلموا علشان يعرفوا أن في الجنة الكل سيكون بعمر واحد ❤
    وانهم حيكونوا كلهم شباب لأن الجنة لا يدخلوها إلا وهم في سن الشباب وبابهى وباجمل صورة

  • I really like english languege and i allways talk about somethings with my self and that’s funny…. And i really want to learn english and i try to learn but i think english languge is too diffecult

  • It’d be awesome if you could share role plays or example conversations a nanny who’s new to the US could use to start a conversation with a child in the US (maybe between the ages of 6-13). The setting is mostly for tutoring or teaching children in small groups. Thank you!

  • I wish i had the chance to talk to someone younger now. Id probably say life hits you hard mate, keep on going. Some days it will feel like the entire world is against you, and some days it will feel like an achievement to just et out of bed. Whoever needs to hear it, keep going. I love you and you can do it, believe in yourself.

  • I don’t think that kids in Vietnam want to talk at all. they always hold the phone on their hands and don’t want anything interrupt:v

  • Wow simply Awesome, celebrate your occasion with JINZZY
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  • I’m here because i love babies and kids but idk how to take care of them (im still a teen) while most of my friends prolly think im crazy cuz they don’t like kids lmao

  • interesting points,if anyone else wants to discover toddlers and tantrums try Panlarko Teaching Toddlers Planner ( search on google )? Ive heard some great things about it and my m8 got cool results with it.

  • Thanks so much for this video! I‘m having my Au Pair interview with a lovely host family for the second time tomorrow and I‘m going to skype with their kids. They are two years old and I felt so helpless because I didn‘t know how to talk to them for the first time. Especially when it‘s over Skype. I think with this video I‘m feeling prepared! ����

  • Hank here is such a surprise to me.. I have watched a couple of biology tutorial videos on crash course and I never thought I would see him in such vids.. Cool☺️

  • Today my niece talk to me in English on phone. I somehow managed and cut the call after sometime.
    He is just in 4th class and and I’m in class 12.It was super awkward for me to talk in English with family members.Whole my life i only talk in regional language (not even national language) with my family.. But now the world is globalizing. Some country managed to maintain their own language like china, japan, Russia. But not my country. I don’t know I should happy about it or not.

  • Hey!
    I just posted a new video about my challenge to be fluently in english in 3 months
    Check this out, and help me with tips to improve my english <3

  • Hello. I have put subtitle in Persian language for your video. it seems that it needs your verification to be seen. It would be great if you verify it.

  • At work, I needed to get the attention of a 4-year-old girl that was running around in the store, and all I could think of to say to her was, “ma’am, um ma’am, excuse me ma’am.” XD Which is a bit strange, but I felt too weird about calling her “sweetie” or something cutsie like that, cause it felt creepy and I also would not call her by that if she was an adult. Was there anything less dumb to call her?

  • I’m going to be interacting with kids from middle school and high school and relating to them on some level may be a different conversation. Is there a video from Chelsea on this?

  • That was fine but her exaggerated excitement interactions would be pretense and condescension. I hate that. Going back to her comment about not talking down to a kid, there is no reason to talk to a kid differently than anybody else. If it’s good then it’s good, if it’s bad then it’s bad. I hate pretense.
    Everyone, please watch my tiny nature videos. There is no talking in them. Shhh!

  • I honestly didn’t know that other people have this same problem of not knowing how to talk to children. I thought it just came natural to other people. Good tips.

  • Speaking to young kids is hard and frightening. If I’m walking somewhere and see a child coming towards me, I’ll normally turn around and quickly go the opposite way.

  • The problem is when we are young we want to grow fast and when we are grown we wish to be young again.
    We are not satisfied with what we have but want something we don’t.
    .
    Learn to accept, not to expect,
    Because expectation lead to disappointment
    And when we understand the importance of that time it’s too late…

  • perfect, I really like your method for teaching English and that is the most interessting way to explain the issue very simply, thank you very much,,,,,,

  • Thank you for this video. It helped me a lot with my nervous feelings about meeting my siblings foster children. I have always been pretty good with kids and this video reinforced for me that I already know and do the basics right while offering some more nuanced perspective.

  • I treat my 12-year-old brother and his friend like I do to adults. But why are they so mean?
    They probably don’t know any better.
    …………Actually I think they do. Maybe I should put my foot down like I would to a mean adult.

  • Hey Miss Ceema you r looking fab. I have seen u 2yrs ago… on YouTube. Bug these days u r killing. Love u keep teaching us. God bless u

  • What I think of being young is not having information in our brain
    It’s like empty hard disk that can be filled with endless possibilities
    But when we grew up, we make our own believes, fears, choices and due to experience, we feel lot of things repetitive…

  • Baby talk thing is so true. I coo at babies, sure. It’s hard not to. �� But I have vivid memories of how much I hated being talked down to by adults when I was a child. My parents didn’t!

  • “If they want to talk about princesses, talk about princesses.” OK but what if I really don’t want to have a conversation on a topic about which I know nothing, or a topic for which I have no interest? What if my niece’s passion for Disney princesses makes me very uncomfortable? One time, I told her, “You know, you don’t have to wait for prince charming.” Somehow she took that to mean that he would never ever come. I’m very bad at this…

  • This is why I’ve stayed in my severely underpaid job for so long. Yesterday I built a rocketship for dinosaurs, played Mario Kart, and had a discussion about why different balls are used for different games.
    Working as a Play Specialist means I get to just hang out and be silly all day long.